Just Now

Ouch! I have a nice, soft cushion on my computer chair, but it isn’t helping at the moment. Less than thirty minutes ago, Randy spanked me over his lap right here in this chair. My bottom really hurts.

When he arrived home, I was up here in the computer room answering some e-mail. He poked his head around the corner and said, “Are you sitting in front of that computer again?”

For whatever reason, I just had to tease him. “Well, there isn’t much room behind it!”

Now slightly annoyed, my man repeated his inquiry with a perceptibly sharper tone.

I didn’t understand why he would ask that question. The answer was perfectly obvious.

Then I uttered the fateful words. “So what are you going to do about it?” I meant it to be funny, and perhaps it was, but it was also precisely the wrong thing to say if I had any desire to avoid a first class bun warming.

Randy left the room, only to return a few moments later carrying the dogleg brush. I swallowed hard when I saw what he was holding. This was sure to be serious. He told me to get up. When I did, he sat in my chair and quickly pulled me down across his lap.

Many spanking photos depict the spanker seated in a straight, armless chair while his spankee is over his lap balanced on her fingers and toes. What they don’t show is how uncomfortable and precarious this position can be.

As soon as the brush impacted against the seat of my canvas shorts for the first time, my level of discomfort rose considerably. Randy usually spanks on the bare. But on those rare occasions when he leaves my target covered, he feels the need to compensate for the extra padding by holding nothing back. My shorts and underwear offered minimal protection against the deluge of heavy swats that now rained down upon my poor bottom.

Randy spanked hard and fast, wielding the fierce punishment brush with a skill gained through years of experience. The onslaught was so intense that I could barely catch my breath, let alone yell. Over and over, he aimed squarely for those two spots where I sit down.

The whole thing probably lasted no more than a few minutes. It happened so quickly that the pain is only now starting to fully register. When he lifted me up and set me back on my feet, I was speechless. He told me that he had a couple of errands to run and that he would return to finish with me later. He kissed me and then he was gone.

So here I am, sitting quite gingerly, and feeling totally spanked. Rubbing doesn’t seem to do much good. Ow! When I look up, I notice that Randy conveniently left the brush sitting on top of my monitor. Its purpose, no doubt, is to serve as a reminder. For the next several hours, however, I believe I will have all the reminders I need.

I can’t wait to find out what it means to “finish with me…”

Postscript (5/31 Quarter to Morning): When Randy returned home, he demonstrated how sweet he can be. He had me lie on the bed, and then gently kissed and carressed my sore spots. Before he was done, he had visited several other locales that weren't sore at all. We made love beneath the covers and it was very satisfying.

My bottom still hurts this morning, but it's a hurt I love. There's simply nothing better than a theraputic spanking to lift my spirits and put a smile on my face. Today will be a good day!

Keywords: spanking, hairbrush spanking, sore bottom, spanking story, Bonnie, OTK spanking

Meme: Three's a Crowd

Gem tagged me for this meme.

Three Things That Scare Me:

• War, hatred, and hostility


• Ignorance, especially when it’s voluntary


• Driving in heavy traffic

Three People Who Make Me Laugh:

• Randy


• Our neighbor with his amateur civil engineering projects in the back yard


• Mel Brooks

Three Things I Love:

• My husband


• Spankings (complete with all the trimmings, of course)


• Vacation

Three Things I Hate/Severely Dislike:

• The oil change place where they pester you to buy things that you didn’t even know you had, let alone need to have replaced.


• Intolerance


• Spam mail

Three Things I Don’t Understand:

• How gasoline can go up 50 cents per gallon in one day


• Why guys like their gadgets so much


• How I can still think up new things to say about spanking after all this time

Three Things On My Desk:

• Bills


• A pen


• A camera

Three Things I’m Doing Right Now:

• Typing


• Listening to music


• Trying to think of a third answer

Three Things I Want To Do Before I Die:

• Retire


• Watch our granddaughter grow up


• Write the stage play I have in my head

Three Things I Can Do:

• Speak in front of a group


• Write about my feelings


• Learn from others’ mistakes as well as my own

Three Things I Can’t Do:

• Fix mechanical things


• Kill bugs


• Lie to Randy

Three Things I Think You Should Listen To:

• Your heart


• Your conscience


• Your intuition

Three Things You Should Never Listen To:

• Spam messages


• TV advertisements


• Anyone who is certain they are correct

Three Things I’d Like To Learn:

• Patience


• Serenity


• To let good enough be good enough

Three Favorite Foods:

• Chocolate


• Chocolate


• Chocolate

Three Shows I Watched As A Kid:

• Captain Kangaroo


• Ed Sullivan


• Laugh-In

Three Things I Regret:

• Not spending more time with the old folks


• How far away my daughter and granddaughter are


• Not living on a planet with a longer day

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for May 27

Happy Memorial Day to all those who celebrate it, and general happiness to everyone else. Our brunch this week dealt with spanking and romance. Here are your thoughtful responses.

Tiggr d'Amore: Oh, YES, spanking can be ever so romantic... The very act of giving and receiving a spanking incites passion, ignites that rush of endorphins, adrenaline... All the love hormones. Nothing is better for sparking the flames of romance.

How? Well, touch is paramount... Slow, soft, sensual touch, not just whacking away. Lots of rubbing and touching and kissing and caressing all over, followed by slow undressing and an even slower warm up. Lots of touching across the lap or lying on your partner. And liberal application of the hand, at least to start...

Emerald Eyes: I agree completely with Tiggr. Spankings can most definitely be romantic, provided there is lots of caressing along with it (in my opinion)...

It's that deep understanding of what you both want, and need. It’s where words aren't needed, just intense feelings (both physical and non physical)...

I know sometimes when I am feeling a little neglected, or unappreciated. CM just has to take me over his lap, begin the gentle touches along with the semi-painful spanks, and I'm 'his'...

Todd and Suzy: Spanking can be playful or erotic, serious or fun. It is certainly an intimate act too. One aspect is removing/pulling down their bottoms, and the other is touching the bared bottom in an act designed to fulfill needs and desires. And, if the people spanking are in love, and have a romance in place, spanking can indeed be very romantic.

To add to the romantic feel of a spanking, for us, we focus upon its erotic nature. A more vanilla person would imagine a candlelit room, floral scents, music, loving words, naked bodies, massage oil, touching and kisses. That's a romantic scene. We feel the same way. It’s just, as spankos, you know, we throw a leather paddle and some OTK time into the mix. ;)

Paul: Are we so different from those we call vanilla?

Picture the scene, I have finished up downstairs, locked up, checked the windows, settled the dogs. Mel went up about thirty minutes prior. I enter our bedroom, the bedside lights are dimmed. There are candles on the dresser and on mantle our favourite incense is burning. Mel is in the bathroom combing her hair. I remove my slacks, and then throw my shirt and shorts in the hamper.

I walk into the bathroom, and the sight of my girl naked, as always, turns me on. From behind I smile at her in the mirror, kiss her neck and stroke her butt. She giggles, as always, and blushes, as if we haven't done this a thousand times.

I hop into the shower for a quick wash as my beloved is waiting.

Mel is sitting on the side of the bed waiting for me. She looks so serious. I open my arms, and she flies across the room and into my arms. We kiss and caress as I deposit her on the bed. I climb onto the head end and Mel crawls into my arms. She whispers in my ear, “I've been a naughty girl.” So I inquire, “What did you do this time?” She always had to earn her good girl spankings. After much cuddling, stroking and more intimate touching, she is over my lap. This happened very often in our life together, yet the first spank always seemed to come as a surprise. After ten to fifteen minutes of spanking intermixed with stroking and the sort of touching that position encourages, Mel came. This led to me giving her several orgasms. Do I need to go on?

For me spanking is the most erotic form of foreplay possible.

Erin: I consider spankings to be very romantic, especially when there is a great deal of rubbing. We have also used candles to set the mood. Although, the most romantic spankings for me are the ones that I don't know are coming.

Paige Tyler: Spanking is all about romance for us! In addition to the sexy lingerie I like to sometimes wear, there's also the prelude to the spankings my hubby gives me. This includes kissing, caressing, and sensual massage. Then, of course, there's all the touching and caressing that he does during the actual spanking. All of that combines to make a very romantic, not to mention very fun, afternoon or evening!

Scout: I definitely find spanking romantic. One reason is that I know it was hard for my husband to sign on, but he did and continues to do so because he loves me, which deepens the love I feel for him.

And the spanking itself is exciting. There's no other type of foreplay where we talk, giggle, tease, "act," and engage each other as much as we do in spanking. It always leads to high energy, passionate lovemaking - the fulfillment of romance!

Spanking also makes us more generally aware of the little charge between us. I notice his confidence and "dominance" traits all the time, and it's kind of fun to think to myself, "He spanked me!" when I'm watching him do something as ordinary as taking out the trash. It makes life seem romantic.

Jean Marie: Spankings can be oh so romantic. I find the ULTIMATE seduction to be told that I'm going to be spanked, to have my clothing removed piece by piece, to be put in my place face down over the knee, and then to have my dreams become reality, my wish fulfilled, my bottom warmed and reddened, my will conquered, my ego sublimated, my fear faced, and my limits pushed a little...

Spankings are the best foreplay. I love to have my desires aroused, my needs magnified, my wrongs righted, and my errors punished. I can then respond with thighs parted and arms open.

Sex is the hottest after a spanking, when the flames of ardor are fanned to the point of combustion.

Mary: I love the romance of a spanking. Spanking is incredibly intimate. Even when it is for punishment, there is such an intimacy with submission, and an intimacy with knowing someone wishes you to be your best self. The trust between partners is romantic. The fire that builds is incredibly romantic. The tender wince when sitting down to dinner on a toasted bottom is this sweet secret between partners that bonds like no other. To me spankings are as romantic as can be.

PK: I agree with much of what Scout said. Since spanking did not come natural to Nick I think it is very romantic every time he spanks me. I know he is doing this for me, because he loves me. What could be more romantic?

Carye: I think spanking is very romantic. It gives us such a closeness that I feel. I know PS spanks out of his love for me. He is more a vanilla with sprinkles, than a spanko. So every time I get spanked by him, I cherish it because I know that to do this, he is showing his ultimate love for me and my needs. It is absolutely the most romantic thing!

Pagan: My hubby is a vanilla, so he spanks me because he knows I want/need him to.

I'm not sure I'd exactly call it romantic (particularly when he has me solidly pinned and is going to town on my butt), but it's definitely an act of love. :)

Bonnie: Spanking, for us, is romantic. What’s more, our concept of romance inevitably includes a good spanking. After spanking and lovemaking, I always feel more tightly bonded with Randy than at any other time. The intense, intimate experiences open me up to deeper emotional acceptance. He is my man and all I could want.

In terms of setting the scene, most of the common vanilla approaches (candles, scents, music, tasty treats, lingerie, etc.) work equally well for us spankos. We might throw into the mix a conspicuous implement or provocative pose, but as Paul notes, the process is not too different.

Thanks go, as always, to our wise and generous participants. I hope to see you all right back here for another spanko brunch next week!

Keywords: spanking, romantic spanking, romance, spanking and romance, My Bottom Smarts, spanko brunch

MBS Spanko Brunch #71

Welcome back, everyone, to our community spanko brunch. This is Memorial Day weekend in the US and the traditional start of summer. To herald the arrival of this season of romance, we have an appropriate and fun discussion topic.

How do spankings fit into your definition of romance? Do you find spankings romantic? If so, how? What can partners do for each another to add a little romance to their spankings?

If you have thoughts you would like to add to our discussion, the process is the same as we've used in the past. You may leave a comment below, send me an e-mail message, or post a response on your own blog. Once everyone has provided their input, I will publish a summary.

Top Ten: Things I Would Tell Vanillas

For my entire adult life, I've been keenly aware of my status as a fudge ripple gal in a plain vanilla world. I don't aspire to convert anyone, and I'm certainly not going to abandon my kink, but a little bit of understanding might be nice.

Here are ten thoughts I would like to share with open-minded vanilla folk.

1. Even if you think spankos are weird, please recognize this is just one element of our lives. In every other respect, we live like everyone else. We raise children. We have jobs. We pay taxes. We go to the grocery store. We love our families. We complain about gasoline prices.


2. We are not dangerous to anyone. Everything we do is with full consent and we are very careful so as to ensure no one is injured. Spanking is a much safer pastime than, say, motorcycling or rock climbing.


3. We have zero interest in involving children or any non-consenting person. Those kinds of illegal behavior are every bit as reprehensible to us as they are to you.


4. We are not all trying to compensate for or re-live a troubled childhood. I know lots of spankos and this stereotype simply doesn't hold up.


5. Spanking within the context of a loving relationship is the diametric opposite of spousal abuse. While an abuser tries to suppress his partner's will by force, a loving spanker seeks to fulfill his partner's fantasies with her full participation.


6. We genuinely love one another and spanking is one of many ways we demonstrate our love and commitment. For us, spanking is another flavor of lovemaking.


7. Yes, it really does hurt. But, as odd as this may sound, the pain is a secondary consideration. What we treasure more are feelings of connectedness, peace, and openness that follow.


8. It's not an exclusive club. Anyone can be a spanko. In my experience, this community is remarkably helpful, caring, and inclusive. Newbies are definitely welcome.


9. Yes, as a matter of fact, sometimes we think it's funny too. We'll be the first to admit there is something slightly comical about a grandmother eagerly bending over to be spanked across her husband's lap. Our kink needn't be somber and disciplinary. Honestly, who wants that all of the time? We definitely laugh well and often.


10. There is a whole continuum of spankos. For some couples, spankings are playful fun. Others focus primarily upon the disciplinary aspects. Most of us fall somewhere in between. Even otherwise vanilla people occasionally enjoy a few well-placed swats during sex. This too qualifies as adult spanking. The point is that there is no single formula. The couples who are happiest are typically those who tailor their lifestyle to their own tastes, preferences, and desires.

Understanding is the first step toward acceptance. Let this be a first step toward understanding. We spankos are friends, neighbors, and relatives. We're not strange or scary. We're merely normal, happy people striving to enjoy rewarding lives and relationships.

In With The New: Warming Up Nicely Edition

I love finding, reading, and sharing new spanking blogs. I seek opportunities to encourage these bloggers as they make their first tentative steps out into the big, scary world of the internet. Each new blog and each new blogger seem bursting with promise. Some blogs ultimately survive while others are dropped for reasons we may never know. But when this blossom first opens, all are something special.

Here are ten young blogs that I hope you will explore and enjoy. When you visit, I encourage you to not only read, but also to offer some support in the form of comments. It's difficult to start a new blog. In the beginning, it feels as though you're writing for no one. A few positive words at the right moment can make the difference between a successful blog and an abandoned effort.

Check these out!

Amber's Spanking Journal

Daddy's Little Deviant

Erica Scott's Blog

Heart Shaped Padlock

Mixed Blessings

More Than This

Naughty Princess Gets Spanked

One Spanko's Thoughts

Span Co

Spank A Bottom

     (If I've forgotten anyone, please tell me)

To these new bloggers, I bid you welcome. I look forward to watching your blogs grow and thrive.

Here are some suggestions I assembled as a guide to enhancing your blog. While it's certainly not the final word, I think you will find a number of useful tips.

My Blogging Smarts More Blogging Smarts My Blogging Smarts Again My Blogging Smarts: Balance

I hope you find the spanko blogging experience as rewarding as I have!

Keywords: spanking, spanking blog, spanking blogs, spanking blogger, spanko

Slippery When Wet

Friday evening is our traditional time for adult fun and games. Randy had mentioned the previous day that he had “something in mind.” When he says that, it usually means generous portions of spanking and lovemaking. I pondered the possibilities as I drove home from work. Knowing my husband as I do, almost anything was possible. It does little good to speculate, but the spanko mind simply has to wonder about the fate of the spanko bottom.

We work slightly different hours so I arrive at home about two hours before Randy. This gives me an opportunity to tidy up the house, do some chores, catch up with the blog, and make myself presentable. On this evening, however, he was already home when I arrived.

Randy greeted me with a luscious kiss, much as I often do with him. We embraced for more than a minute as hands and fingers explored and caressed. We both knew at that moment that our passion could be neither contained nor deferred. Randy took my hand and led me to our bedroom.

I think I must have gasped when I spied his intricate preparations. My lover had spread a plasticized tablecloth over the center of our bed. Arrayed around it was a collection of assorted love toys.

“Well?” He inquired, knowing that I understood the question.

“I guess I had better lose these clothes,” I replied sheepishly. He nodded his affirmation.

I was wearing an expensive business suit that I didn’t want to damage, so I removed the jacket, blouse, and skirt and folded each carefully before setting them on a chair. I fiddled several seconds with my necklace before releasing the clasp and putting it safely away.

Randy was now tapping his foot impatiently. I knew he was mostly kidding, but I still felt compelled to step up my pace. I slid out of my pantyhose, pulled off my slip, yanked down my panties, and unfastened my bra. With one quick toss in the general direction of the hamper, I was now ready for action.

My lover gently guided me down onto the bed. I hadn’t noticed previously that there was a pillow beneath the center of the plastic tablecloth. I arranged myself so that my pelvis was directly over it and my bottom was jutting upward. I was now as prepared as possible given the circumstances.

Upon first contact, the flowered tablecloth seemed cool and slick. Within a few short minutes, though, it felt warm and sticky on my bare skin. I soon learned its purpose.

Randy began by generously applying scented massage oil to my back, shoulders, and neck. The strong, rich smell of vanilla filled the air. The rotating motion of his palms relaxed my muscles even as his dancing fingertips ignited my carnal imagination. I exhaled deeply, expelling the troubles and stresses of a long week.

After a while, he moved down to my hips, thighs, and bottom, liberally applying oil as he proceeded. I absolutely love to have my bottom rubbed and kneaded and caressed. To my delight, Randy gave me all of this and more. This part of the massage lasted probably ten minutes. The entire time, I expected him to switch over to spanking, but he didn’t.

I shivered with glee as his slick fingers probed my willing orifices. He parted my cheeks to gain complete access to my feminine treasures. I opened my legs to aid in his quest. Soon the oil mixed with my own lubrication to yield a slippery sweet confection. All the while, I panted my desire.

I next became aware of a dull object pressing at my most private opening. It was a smooth rubber plug. Once I relaxed, it slid in without too much effort. I felt filled in a most decadent way. There are times when I would prefer to skip the anal play. But on this evening, the plug served to draw out and accentuate out my basic submissiveness.

Now, finally, I figured Randy was ready to spank. He even went into the bathroom and washed off his hands. But it was not to be, at least not yet. He applied more scented oil to my hindquarters, patting and squeezing as he rubbed it into my skin. Again, I adored all of the wonderful sensations of being massaged in this most erogenous zone. But where, I wondered, was the spanking? Had my dear mate turned as vanilla as the oil he employed? Surely it couldn’t be so.

And, of course, it wasn’t so. At a certain point, my man decided that the time had come to move ahead. He popped out the butt plug, set it aside, and began to swat my bottom using both of his hands. As if playing a slick, fleshy bongo drum, he spanked with a fast cadence and a hard stroke. Each time one of his hands impacted against my slippery slopes, it produced a resounding “Crack!”

After a minute or two, he stopped long enough to admire the crimson glow and radiant heat he had generated. Then, he was back to spanking with the same two-handed alternating style as before. The blows stung, but not unbearably so. In fact, I rather fancied this slightly jarring departure from the state of relaxation he previously induced.

After a while, my Prince Charming slowed his pace and mixed in more of that splendid stroking. By now, all of the stimulation had me in a state of profound horniness. He could have done virtually anything to me and I would have accepted it graciously.

I knew the spanking was over when I heard the sound of Randy removing his pants. Once he too was naked, he approached me from behind and climbed on my back. I raised my hips and tipped my pelvis to bid him welcome. When he joined with me, I moaned with pleasure. I didn’t care who might hear. His strong hands latched onto the meaty portion of my hips and pulled me backward even he thrust forward. The result was several electrifying climaxes for me. He too found his explosive release deep within me.

After the action had concluded, we shared a leisurely shower, complete with more touching, more spanking, and a lovely round of "swallow the sword." There was one particularly memorable moment when we tightly embraced and professed our love as water cascaded down over our faces. Clean seldom feels quite this satisfying.

Later in the evening, we dressed and went out for dinner. It was a pleasant meal, but I think we were both a bit preoccupied by all that had preceded it. I was so relaxed that I was ready to go to bed almost as soon as we returned home. It’s great to be able to leave the week’s stresses behind.

Lesson: I will never again giggle when someone enters the search term "vanilla spanking."

Keywords: spanking, romantic spanking, spanking story, spanking and sex, Bonnie, erotic spanking

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for May 20

Today's subject dealt with the spankers in our community - how they benefit from spanking and what motivates them to spank. Here are your responses.

Paul: For us spanking was the physical manifestation of the love and trust that we had in each other. It often helped Mel channel her energy in the direction that she wished to go, especially when she was a student. For me it was a constant reminder of the close connection that we had for each other and the love that there was between us.

Anon: We are very new to the scene. I have fantasized about being spanked since I was a little girl.

But this is very new to my man! He states that he knows innately that he likes it, but he is slowly coming to terms with a behavior which completely goes against the way he has treated women all of his life. He says that he spanks me to modify my outrageous behavior and has noted how it grounds my tendency to be a bit hyper.

Todd (and Suzy): The vast majority of spankings I give are erotic or playful in nature. The sights, sounds, and touching are stimulating to me. It is sexually exciting. I love the female bottom and get pleasure from spanking it. I think even the vanilla mind can grasp that concept.

Part of it too, is taking the spankee on a journey. Leading *her mind* down a path that is dangerous and terrifying, and yet also exciting and rewarding. The exchange of trust that is needed to take this trip is exhilarating to me. It's a high of sorts. I think that's something the vanilla mind doesn't grasp.

Spanking, at least certain kinds, can put a period on certain negatives too. For example, guilt that might linger in a vanilla relationship can be ended with a spanking. There is also a motivational element to some spankings. These encourage better behavior, and thus happier (and healthier, in our case) lives.

So, the benefits are many in my case!

Paige Tyler: Even though I already had a pretty good idea what my hubby'd say, I asked him just to be sure! *grin*

He said that he knows spanking turns me on, which turns him on, and that he also likes to bring me pleasure. So, since spanking brings me pleasure, he loves doing it! Plus, it always leads to great sex!

Of course, he added with a chuckle, there's also something to be said for the whole spanking-thing bringing out his inner caveman! LOL!

PK: Nick is away this weekend, but he rarely comments anyway, so I will answer for him as much as I know. His willingness to indulge me in my lifelong fantasy has given him a wife who is passionately in love with him! Our day-to-day relationship has changed from pleasant roommates to lovers who enjoy talking, touching, and playing.

He has a wife who went from being lukewarm about sex to being willing to try anything and everything in bed! He has a wife who threw out the flannel night gowns and sleeps in the nude as we cuddle, touch and spoon during the night. He has a wife who looks better, cares more, loves more and is happier than she has ever been in her life! If any husband has been asked by his wife to spank and he is reluctant, please, please have him read this!

Bonnie: Like Paige, I figured I’d ask the horse himself. Randy laughed at my question! He got a goofy look on his face and then said, “Well, uh, let’s see. There’s sex, and ummmm… [eyes roll skyward as if pondering deeply] What was the question again?”

So, I suppose I will have to answer. Here are the top ten benefits that I *think* Randy gets.

1. A more peaceful and relaxed partner
2. A more submissive partner
3. The ability to explore and fulfill both of our fantasies
4. The perfect excuse to rub his hands all over my bottom
5. Two words: Implement collection
6. He totally enjoys being dominant
7. The chance to dress me in sexy outfits
8. Great aerobic exercise
9. His mind stays active concocting new scenarios
10. Oh, yeah… Lots of excellent sex with a very willing lover

Em: I am speaking on behalf of CM, as blogging just isn't something he does much!

He has always made clear why he likes to and will spank me. He knows it turns us both on, so it is something sexual to us as well as for discipline. He cares about me enough to show me “the error in my ways,” and I am only ever disciplined for things that hurt us/me/our relationship. He 'enjoys' being dominant, and having the 'majority' of the control in our relationship. Although, if you were to ask him, he would tell you I am certainly 'head strong' and no pushover.

We have MANY spanking fantasies. If we never had it in our lives, we would feel incredibly unsatisfied sexually.

Lastly, I feel secure and adored when he spanks me. It shows me he loves my body, cares about what I do, and gives me that ever so 'needed' attention. He realizes this, and therefore, carries it out.

The list as to why someone spanks is endless to be honest. I think the general reason is 'you like it!'

Hugh: Spanking Xan arouses me because it arouses her. I love the feel of my hand smacking her perfect ass as she rubs and squirms on my thigh. Frankly, the business about holding position is nonsense and not sexy to me. Having her squirm and buck enhances my experience. I usually start by pulling her over with her legs straddling my thigh while the bed supports her upper body for her comfort. Baring her bottom is stimulating and provides total exposure plus access with a brilliant view for me.

The erotic spanking and caressing engorges her genitals with blood delivering a hot tight union that enhances our pleasure and helps her climax repeatedly. I spank between climaxes so that each one is stronger and the feel of her strong contractions is ecstatic for both of us. This morning, while I was finishing with the hairbrush on her sit spots, she almost climaxed again before I could enter her. We get frequent fantastic sex out of spanking. It's erotic and fun for both of us. If Xan didn't enjoy and crave being spanked, I wouldn't do it.

Spanking is foreplay, fun, and a way of expressing affection. We have a happier marriage because of it. It's the sex and spanking in tandem that enhances the relationship. We are too happy and satisfied to be in a bad temper. When I see her bend over, I swat her playfully if I'm in range, sometimes up to several dozen smacks, sometimes for cause, and she loves it. We both get aroused and it's good fun. She stays happy and easy to get along with. A warm bottom keeps her turned on. Spanking and pleasure are linked for both of us and almost a daily occurrence. As Freddie Mercury said, "Pain is so close to pleasure." By building intensity slowly, it's all pleasure for her until the endorphins wear off. Then she sits on a pillow if necessary and likes it. Xan isn't submissive, but she's well spanked and well loved. She's beautiful, brilliant, sexy, and the love of my life.

I don't read your blog but posted because she requested it of me. I give her everything she desires that in within my power to give that includes an abundance of spanking and paddling. Everyone should be as lucky as I am.

Daddy: I know that it’s an occasional turn on for her to be taken over my knee, to have her pants and panties pulled down, and to be soundly spanked. It is a huge turn on for me, but far from the only one. I almost always combine spankings with letting my hand wander over the more sensitive areas. I like to hear her whimper as I spank and moan as my hand wanders first towards the small of her back, then down over her nicely pinked bottom, and on further still towards the inner regions of her bottom.

The things which follow afterwards are always wonderful too.

Ian: To me, it's about submission. I guess I should say it's about domination, but somehow that doesn't sound right. The thrill I get is watching my wife become submissive to me.

I love the prelude. I love picking out her outfits. I love giving her instructions – where to stand, how to position herself, if she is allowed to speak or should she remain silent? I love watching her as she follows my instructions.

As for why I love the actual spanking, I've never really thought about it before. Maybe as I turn her bottom red, I am putting my mark on her, claiming her as my own. It’s not so showy a mark as a tattoo, but something private. I like to watch her look at herself when I am done, or watch her rub her bottom. I think to myself, "I did that to you, and you are mine."

On second thought, maybe it IS about domination.

Dave: Wow, I think I'm going to have to mull over a separate post on our blog over this one. I sense a lengthy answer surfacing!

First and foremost, it turns me on as nothing else sexual can come close to approaching. The intensity and overwhelming depth of my arousal is on a completely different plain.

Second, I've spanked women who definitely didn't want it, some who didn't know either way, some who partially enjoyed a few light swats, and ones who NEED to be spanked. Cindy NEEDS to be spanked to keep her centered and at peace. There is a physical change in her after a spanking; a very deep calmness.

Giving a lover pleasure has always been a big turn-on for me as well. Helping them cum. Knowing that Cindy not only needs to be spanked, but in most cases enjoys it, is the icing on the cake.

Although I will confess that actual punishment scolding and spanking sometimes arouses me more than giving her good girl ones. And since she almost always crosses over into acceptance and sub-space, on reflection she appreciates my persistence. (big smile) But that's only AFTER the spanking and during the cuddling!

Deviant: When I do switch, it's about the thrill of control. I enjoy having to make Daddy bend to my will and seeing how his eyes light up as I pull him to the corner.

I love the sounds of it. There is hypnotism in the vibrations of the spanking as they go through my arm and his bottom.

I like to watch him as I spank. His face contorts with each new blow.

I like to listen to him, his ragged breath, the grunts and yelps that come when the hurt really starts to set in.

There is something that makes me feel like a proud woman as I spank him. There is a liberating feeling, in small doses, that makes me feel like “Hey, I'm so good that I've conquered the man.”

I like it for the rare pleasure it is to reverse roles.

Unlike others, spanking is not foreplay, per se, for us, as we've not actually had intercourse. It's the main event, a release, and a pleasure that brings us intimately close.

Papa Shrek: I spank Carye because it makes her happy. She feels more comfortable with me and more secure in our relationship because of the spanking. And to quote the old saying, "If momma ain't happy, nobody is happy!" We're happy!

I would like to offer my sincere thanks to everyone who helped to make this one of best brunches ever. Great responses, everybody!

Keywords: spanking, spanker, spanker's benefits, My Bottom Smarts, spanko brunch

MBS Spanko Brunch #70

Welcome back for our seventieth Sunday spanko brunch. This week, we're going to talk about the spanker for a change. Let's examine motivation, benefits, and reasons.

In your relationship, what does spanking do for the spanker? How does he or she benefit from spankings and related activities? What is his or her primary motivation to spank?

I look forward to hearing from and about our beloved spankers. If you would like to submit a contribution to our brunch discussion, please leave a comment below, send me an e-mail, or post a response on your own blog. Once everyone has provided their thoughts, I will publish a summary of our conversation.

Friday Fun

Happy Friday!

This bit of frivolity comes to you through the wonderful facilities of the Generator Blog.

Bonnie's Mailbag

Every month or so, it's fun to open the mailbag and examine the contents. Here, for your enlightenment, is the newest batch. Please note that in some cases, I have paraphrased messages for the sake of brevity.

Question: where can i find women like you?

Response: If you're truly interested in the middle-aged artsy type, try your local bookstore, especially if it has a coffee shop.

Comment: In the "50 Reasons" list you mention the pain of spanking is nothing compared to the pain of childbirth. I could add or amend that to, "The pain of a spanking is nothing compared to the pain of a Brazilian." I don't think many guys suffer guilt pangs over voicing that request!

Response: I like that version. It perfectly fits what I was trying to convey.

Comment: Hello, i am a male who has always being fascinated with spanking as a pleasure and as a punishment, or both. I don't really understand your site ( i think im stupid too) but i am interested,so i will keep watching and learning, by the way , i do have some real experiences that still excite me, and always will.

Response: Watching and learning are both free. Be my guest.

Question: Have you have any knowledge or experience with Leather Thorn Paddles?

Response: No, but a number of spanko friends whose opinions I value have great praise for John and his fine work.

Question: is that a picture of you bototm?

Response: No, I keep my bototm locked up in a safety deposit box. You can never be too careful with those.

Question: Are there any more at home like you?

Response: Nope. If they were sitting at home, they wouldn't be like me!

Question: Have you found that three to five swats will turn your "Minute Man" into an orgasm machine/Energizer bunny who while he may have tears in his eyes he will have lead in his pencil?

Response: Uh, no. That's not been my experience.

Comment: When I leave comments in Blogger, they don't seem to show up. Is there a problem?

Response: If you can't leave a comment here, then I consider it to be a problem. Blogger can be finicky sometimes when it comes to comments. Sometimes, it won't take my comment until I enter my password and magic word twice. If you think you've entered a comment, it's best to check and make sure it shows up before moving along. One secret I've discovered is that this problem occurs less often if I log into Blogger before I enter any comments.

Question: Would you be interested in reviewing our (pay) site?

Response: Thank you for your kind offer, but there are plenty of great review sites around. It's not practical for me to try to match what they do and still keep the blog running smoothly.

Question: Would you allow your husband to suck on the elastic of your panties?

Response: To tell you the truth, it's never come up in conversation.

Question: Hi iam a professional disciplinarian from uk .Ever visited one for a genuine spanking? .It seems to be getting popular in the uk

Response: If you're making a living as a professional disciplinarian, it must be popular! My amateur husband administers spankings that feel quite genuine to me.

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for May 13

I hope everyone enjoyed a beautiful Mother’s Day. We certainly did. Quite appropriately, our brunch topic dealt with reconciling the responsibilities of parenthood with our desire to engage in adult spanking activities. Here are your responses.

Paul: Unfortunately, we were unable to have children. We had planned for that eventuality. The master bedroom was well away from the other bedrooms and an intercom from the nursery. The bedroom and my office, from where I worked from home, were soundproofed. This arrangement still came in useful when we had guests.

Scout: Wow, the biggest issue is noise. Last week, our middle-school-aged son said he heard "a crashing sound" in the night that woke him up. So now we go to a walk-in closet off of our bathroom (closing three doors to get to it) that we've made as comfortable as possible. Daytime would be ideal, but that has only worked out once in the schedule. We're planning a weekend away and hope the hotel walls are thick. The funniest thing about being spanko parents is noticing a certain proclivity in one of our children. Our youngest daughter (1st grade) is intrigued by "The Lonely Doll" and self-spanks all the time in a playful manner. We've never used spanking as punishment on the kids. Since we've got 12 years until we're empty-nesters, this is something we'll have to deal with.

PK: The biggest obstacle in the spanking world is kids at home! We have done like many others - gone to the basement. Closets might also work if you have the right kind. The quiet implements are not my favorites. They hurt, and not only in the good way! We also enlisted our other friends with kids to create ‘Date Night’ when we first tried spanking years ago. We would take turns having all the kids over to one house letting the other couple have total privacy for the evening. This really worked well for a while.

I think the best thing about having kids at home is that we don’t take our time alone for granted. We plan together, then think about each other, and we savor the time we carve out for ourselves. To me, that in itself is very romantic!

Scout, if it turns out that your daughter does have spanko tendencies, I think it is wonderful that she will have parents who never make her feel strange or abnormal in her innocent play!

Padme: Being a parent can make spankings and play very difficult sometimes. Master Anakin and I try to do a date day every week. We are lucky to have his parent's be able to sit our son for a day or sometimes if we are lucky, an overnight. Then we can spend adult time together and I can get spankings. Most of our spanking time also is either late at night when they are in bed or if he is home and they are at school.

Usually the spanking play needs to be scheduled with having children.

I haven't experienced empty nest yet....hopefully many years away still. My oldest is only turning 12.
We have installed locks on the outside and inside of our doors, including our basement...this is so we can lock the door and go down and play late at night and they can't walk in on us.

Lisa: I love this question, but I think my answer is best served on my blog.

Mija: LOL! I promised myself I was going to participate in this brunch no matter what. But this is going to be a bit of a stretch since I never have had and never intended to have children.

My best contribution is that my parents apparently have been actively into spanking since I was 3 or 4. I never knew (until I found some of their books as a college student) and if I heard anything, treated it like hearing them having sex -- something I never really remembered later.

My mom said they mostly used quiet things like switches when we were small for exactly that reason. They also would sometimes play in the bathrooms with all the taps on after we'd gone to bed.

Carye: Having kids is a huge obstacle to spanking for us. We have 4 young children 8, 5, and 3 year old twins. For us, flexibility is the answer. Often times, we must rescheduling. The twins are just now sleeping in their own bedrooms. We're lucky in that ours is at the opposite end of the ranch style house from the kids. However, most times we use the garage for spankings as this is more soundproof than our bedroom. Often, both love making and spanking are interrupted by the baby monitor when one of the little ones wakes up with night terrors, or some other reason, and heads our way. Once they're back in our bedroom, they don't go till morning. It just doesn't work. It is the life we have chosen though, and we know sooner rather than later, all will be sleeping through the night and going to bed at the normal 7:30-8:00 pm. We should then have some mommy and daddy time. At least we hope so!

Often, we find the mood changes for us as well with kids. We may be in the mood early in the day, but a huge temper tantrum, break down, or sickness of one type or another just kills the drive for us. Also, exhaustion after a wild day or prior night with the kids kills it too. We've just in this last year begun to enjoy more mamma/pappa time together (OK, a few times a week). Before that, I think the nursing hormones also played a roll in killing the drive for us.

Kids do pose a rough and huge impact on both sex and spanking life. However, we work hard to work it in and it pays off with a much more relaxed mom and dad who are much more fun for the kids to be around. Our world centers around our little ones, and we don't plan on changing that anytime soon. We love them to death, and I would have had more if we could. They are the light of our lives and our biggest blessing. Come what may, we will always be there for them first, and yet never forget to take care of each other either.

Funny Brat Girl: I am an honorary single mother because I obtained custody of my niece at the age of 14. She is now 18.

I felt that the best way was to be honest with her. Whenever I scheduled to play, I made sure it was out of the home. She did ask a lot of questions at first, but ultimately, she saw how relaxed and at peace I became after a spanking.

From time to time now, she jokes around with me about how I need a spanking and how she's going to call so and so to take care of it! LOL! The best thing I ever did was tell her. I never influenced her to like it, but just be aware of it and understand that it was something that *I* liked.

All in all, I lucked out to have such a good niece. I may never have kids (because I'll hold out for the whole married thing), but at least I have her. That's more than I could've ever asked for.

Bonnie: Randy and I have been through the entire cycle. We were very fortunate in that our daughter has always been a great sleeper. When she was small, we used to play after her bedtime. As she grew older and more aware, we changed strategies. We often enlisted other parents to create the kind of “date nights” that PK described. As everyone has noted, scheduling was everything.

Now, we’re empty nesters. At first, we kind of went nuts with our newfound freedom. Since then, though, we’ve settled down into more of a routine. One might think that empty nesters wouldn’t have to schedule, but we still do. It’s all too easy to fill those hours with other activities if we don’t make time for each other.

I treasure my role as a mother. It’s been a great experience and one I’ve never regretted.

Thanks again, everyone, for sharing your wisdom and experiences.

Keywords: spanking, spanking and parenthood, My Bottom Smarts, spanko brunch

MBS Spanko Brunch #69

Happy Mother's Day!
In honor of all of our moms, today's brunch question deals with the parenting experience, and specifically, its effect upon a couple's spankings.

Please describe how parenting responsibilities impact your adult spanking activities? Have you any tips and techniques you can share with other spanko parents? Have you experienced the "empty nest," and if so, how did that change the spanking portion of your relationship?

If you have thoughts you would like to add to our discussion, the process is the same as we've used in the past. You may leave a comment below, send me an e-mail message, or post a response on your own blog. Once everyone has provided their input, I will publish a summary.

Ten Things I Think

My top ten lists are usually something silly, or at least a bit offbeat. Today, however, you’ve caught me in a slightly more reflective mode.

1. Blogging Makes Me Tired - Earlier this week, Blogger selected MBS for a special recognition. Their robots declared this to a spam blog! It’s since been straightened out, but this kind of stuff wears me down.


2. A Question of Format - I strive to stay on topic, because that’s what readers tell me they want, and because I have a lot to say about the subject of spanking. Even so, there are times when I envy CeeCi and her ability to gracefully transition from one topic to the next. If I posted an article about goofy things I see while commuting on the freeway, I wonder if people would think something was wrong…


3. Moving On? - Yes, I do think about hanging up my keyboard. Or maybe I’ll take an extended siesta instead. I know I would deeply miss the people and the interaction. Yet, I have other projects that beg for my undivided attention. Could I really give up blogging? I think so. Will I? Eventually. When? Now there’s the real question.


4. Absent - I know some fellow spanko bloggers think I must be mad at them because I haven't been commenting as much lately. Let me say for the record that I’m not upset with anyone. It simply comes down to a question of time. It’s not possible for me to always be everywhere. So I compromise. I write constantly, read frequently, and comment occasionally. It’s not an ideal system, but it’s the approach I’m using now. I’m sorry if it seems like a snub. It truly is not.


5. Still Strange - It feels weird when people write to me as though I were some sort of celebrity. I appreciate their positive words, but the admiration seems misplaced. There are many real heroes in this world who are far more deserving.


6. Hey, Guys - When you write to me, I guess I don’t really mind if you feel compelled to tell me that you think I have a “beautiful ass.” But I hope you understand that I’m more than a hunk of meat. I invite you to read the words as well as look at the pictures. I believe most spankos will find something appealing.


7. For the Love of Spankings - The blow-up that occurred this week leaves me feeling mostly sad. I’m sad for the readers who were misled and for those who unwittingly underwrote this unfortunate episode. I'm sad for legitimate spanking models whose dedication may be brought into question needlessly. But I’m also sad for the mixed-up young woman at the center of the storm. We all have to eat, but in my mind, a purely mercenary existence is a wasted life. There's a reason why I have never made a dime from this blog. I spend my days writing for someone else. What happens here is just for you and me.


8. Interviews - I’ve been contemplating a new interview segment for a long time. I’ve held up because so many other bloggers are already doing something similar. I don't want to appear as though I have to borrow concepts. However, I think I could add some elements that might be different. If anyone has any opinions, I’d love to hear them.


9. Spankologue - Last year, I presented a series of posts where I offered brief introductions to spanko blogs. It was fun and well received by readers, but it got to be more trouble than it was worth. I had bloggers lobbying for coverage, complaining about my characterizations, and asking if I would go back and update a post. I discontinued it because I didn’t need one more hassle. I’m thinking of reviving it now because there are so many great and deserving new blogs that a casual reader is unlikely to find. What do you think about that idea? Should I allow bloggers to write their own introduction? Should I enlist volunteer reviewers?


10. Gratitude - Although I may complain about the occasional annoyance, you, my dear readers, are extremely generous in your support of the blog. Your encouragement keeps me going, even as my words hopefully make your day a little more fun. I seek fulfillment through my writing and this medium provides the means. But without all of you and your wonderful insight, there could be no dialogue and I’d just be talking to myself. Thank you!

Paddleland: The Motion Picture

In a world where justice is dispensed one swat at a time, there comes one man determined to teach them all a lesson. Paddleland: Hotter than you can imagine...

Poll: Spanker's Talk

When discussing our favorite aerobic exercise, we focus a lot on the spankee - her feelings, her perceptions, and her aspirations. These issues are certainly valuable to consider, but what about the spanker? This week's poll examines what he has to say.

In your relationship, which word best characterizes the spanker's talk during a spanking? Instructing Scolding Threatening Reassuring Encouraging Romancing Seducing (Silence) Current Results

Keyword Chaos Once Again

Many of the good people who visit MBS arrive here through the facilities of a search engine. Periodically, I dig into the search phrases they used to find this blog. Keyword Chaos is an offbeat examination of those words and what they might mean.

• girdle enema diaper - So does the girdle go OVER the diaper, or vice versa?


• whipped bottom - Now available in a convenient aerosol can


• does research show most men find spanking women's behinds pleasurable? - I have no idea, but I might volunteer for the study!


• caning palm frond - I hear that Mary Ann and Ginger were totally into that scene


• spanking impliments - Let's see... We have a piddle, a hairbrish, a crip, and a bilt


• spear spanking - Never use the pointed end


• I love my round rump bubble junk trunk - Right on, sister!


• free online non-sexual spanking stories - Two outa three ain't bad, right?


• take my swats - Please!


• rigid spanking - Believe me, it's easier if you don't tense up


• I always wear a butt plug - That seems unlikely


• why is spanking sexy? - For the same reason anything is sexy: Because it causes the participants to become aroused


• nice waps - It's wabbit season, you know


• bubblebutt girdle - Forget the girdle and enjoy what Mom Nature gave you!


• lifetime channel secret lives of women little red round bottom - I obviously don't spend enough time watching the Lifetime Network


• washing grandma's panties - Forget it, she'd rather do it herself


• innocent panty slips on the street - Let's hope she wasn't injured


• I love pantylines - They're really quite easy to create at home


• why do girls wear thongs? - Because their dentist told them to floss every day


• am I good at spanking my girlfriend - How should I know? Ask her


• my hubby surprise wearing bra candle - I said I wanted whacks, not wax (and please take off my bra...)!


• let’s get wild spank - Woo hoo, break out the leather!


• well preserved female bottom - Is that formaldehyde I smell?


• how to make your wife a good lover - Step one: fulfill her desires


• naughty cheerleader camp - Now available on DVD


• things not to tell your wife - There's a book that needs to be written!


• mother in law wearing pantyhose, nylons, stockings and girdles - I believe in dressing in layers, but this seems a bit extreme


• medium spank stories - We haven't time for an extra large


• wife like girlfriend - Dream on, dude


• gay boys being spanked in grey shorts - Grey, I tell you. They simply must be grey!


• pine versus oak paddling which hurts more - Oak is much heavier and harder


• chaos ride - This, I presume, is similar to a joy ride, only messier


• ways to spank your wife - I suggest that you get off the computer and go find out what she likes


• reasons for lack of comprehension - Believe it or not, this person stayed around and browsed for while


• goat list spanking - I don't think I care to know


• hot sexy butt plug - There's a sequence of words I had never considered


• bra and girdle zone - There's a signpost up ahead...


• unusual spanking blog - You've come to the right place


• chewy nipples - Hey, ease up on those!


• embarrassing beaver - Hey, Wally, did you hear any funny noises from down the hall last night?


• where should I spank my wife - Aim for the lower half of her bottom


• paddling ass sorority - Wouldn't you love to see that printed on a sign out in front?


• paddle on butt really hurt - So what did you expect?


• beautiful bottom shape - Round is a shape, right?


• bare panties - This is the spanko version of having one's cake and eating it too

The Spanko Files: Jim and Scout

I would like to share with you the story of Scout and her husband Jim. What I am about to present is by no means the whole story because they are just getting started in the world of recreational spanking. However, it’s a fine beginning, and one that may prove instructive for those who follow in their footsteps.

I first became aware of Scout when she inquired whether I had any ideas that might help convince her husband to spank her as she desired. My semi-serious response was posted as Fifty Reasons to Spank Your Wife or Girlfriend.

Scout was pleased with these suggestions, and responded as follows:

I, too, am a 40+ year old woman, and I’ve been married for 17+ years to a wonderful man. Like you and so many others, I've had a preoccupation with spanking for as long as I can remember. Over the years, I've brought it up to Jim, but he's only ever responded with a few light taps. Those were frustrating to me, and his unwillingness to spank longer and harder reinforced my conviction that what I craved was deviant and wrong. Well, one of the wonders and joys of turning 40 is that you don't care so much what other people think. I grew comfortable with knowing that this was something I needed, that it was just intrinsically part of me. More importantly, I have the wonder and joy of a loving marriage with a soul mate. We are good at recognizing that when we are losing connection, we have to heighten it. I knew I had to tell him, in plainer language than I'd used in the past. Your site has been tremendously helpful in finding that language. Things are proceeding apace, I am happy to report. The pace is deliberate, to be sure, as his travel schedule, our house guests, our three children, and eroticism-antidote, stomach flu (a different family member every four or five days) all impinge on our ability to indulge in play. We had a stumble when an attempt wasn't right, but since then, we've had great talks and laughs. Yes, he is bemused by my request, but he is also willing to give it a try, and a re-try. We've had one successful "ice-breaker" paddling. We're going to build on that, and I know it's only going to get more natural and fun for both of us.

That seemed like an excellent beginning and I told her so. Over the next few weeks, Scout and I exchanged several e-mails in which we discussed some of the finer points of this lifestyle. Then, last week, she sent this message with the subject “Good News.”

Thank you for corresponding with me over the last few weeks. You have been most helpful :-) and I have some good news to report. It may even help others like me. My husband, Jim, has traveled a lot this winter and spring. On one of his trips away in March, we were sending each other suggestive and flirty emails. In one of them, I owned up to indulging my spanking fetish by Googling the word "spanking" on the web. I was amazed by what I'd found. Many others shared my fantasies, which I'd always thought were peculiar to me. I worried I had some self-esteem issues or needed counseling because of my fantasies. Also, I had asked Jim to spank me before, but he was reluctant. He did it a few times, but it was only a few light taps that were more frustrating than satisfying. The stories, advice, and accounts on your blog encouraged me to talk more plainly with him. He was bemused, mostly, but welcoming of the spicy talk. He read some, too, and gave me the task of acquiring a paddle. I found Adam and Gillian's site and got the leather "hairbrush" paddle, in burgundy. Well, we had one bad experience. Though I thought I had conveyed what I wanted pretty well, he somehow thought I was asking for something different. We don't have to go into it, but we definitely needed to talk some more, which we did. I should say, we have been married or together for more than 18 years, and luckily we move on from things really well. The downside to the bad experience was that Jim was again reluctant to spank. He thought the paddle was too much. When he went away again, I found a lighter, smaller paddle online (the hickory "little zinger" from Walt). And, curious because I'd seen your dogleg brush depicted on your site so many times, I found one exactly like it, too. I ordered both implements. Jim got home. One of the good things about his being away is that we always have fun phone calls and send provocative emails. He was charmed by the new toys. I told him we had to have an "ice-breaker" paddling, so that he could see he wasn't truly hurting me and that I wanted him to do this. We went into a closet off of our bathroom (we had house guests and were worried about noise) and I gave him the leather paddle that he's so wary of. I told him we didn't even have to do pants down, that we could start slowly, but to my delight he grinned and said that wearing anything was definitely not an option. He bent me over his thigh and gave me about five or six firm swats with the paddle, keeping an eye on my skin. He thought that modest amount, which turned me dark pink, would surely still be visible the next morning, or that I'd be bruised (I wasn't). Surprisingly, to both of us, I think, he was obviously aroused by the experience (as naturally was I) and what followed was truly wonderful. The next time, it was Jim's turn to surprise me. He packed the two paddles away in his closet and put the wooden brush in his nightstand drawer. From the drawer, he extracted nipple clamps! Oh well. It's about indulging each other, right? I actually don't find them objectionable at all, and find they add to the absurdity/fun/kink. We are true newbies. He has spanked me a grand sum total of three times, each with a combination of his hand and the brush. He favors having me lie on the bed over pillows. For a guy who never used to spank hard, he lays it on pretty authoritatively now. We're still working things out (warm-ups, please!), but everything is progressing in a positive, fun, and very satisfying way. Each time is better than the last. For others, I would say one thing that really helps is talking about it in a way that emphasizes the fantasy nature of it. I am way more "into" whatever scenario he spins now that he is indulging what I've long fantasized about. Most of what he says (all?) will never come true, but I am also making an effort to do the things I know he really appreciates (the thing they all appreciate, LOL). Our sex life has never been better, and we've heightened our connection to one another. Thank you, and your blogging friends, for your humor and sage advice. I've been a lurker on several sites, and owe a debt of gratitude to Todd and Suzy, Cassie (and Tom!), Ceeci (and Mojo), Paul, Abel and Haron, Tiggr (and Dante), and others.

As we were subsequently discussing the possibility of adapting her account for "The Spanko Files," Scout offered this brief status report.

Things here continue to get better. The night after I sent this account, I found myself across Jim's lap. He was doing his new husbandly duty, commenting with a chuckle, "I am certainly more confident doing this!" We are having fun and our biggest worry is noise.

So, there you have have it. Excellent advice and insight from the front lines of a successful vanilla partner conversion. I might not have suggested that dogleg brush for beginners, but Jim and Scout are obviously doing quite well with it.

Scout has assured me that she will provide occasional updates. I look forward to following their progress, cheering their discoveries, and celebrating their continued happiness.

Keywords: spanking, recreational spanking, spanking account, spanko files, learning to spank

Meme: Seven Questions

I’ve been tagged with this meme three times. I guess I ought to complete it.

Question #1: What are three of the stupidest things you've done in your life?

• Rushing to graduate from college early and not enjoying the experience for what it was


• Trying to change myself to please people who really didn’t matter


• Spending too much time and energy on the day to day demands of motherhood and too little living in the moment

Question #2: At the current moment, who has the most influence on your life?

That would be Randy, of course. He’s my lover, my confidant, my best friend, and he still looks hot in a pair of swim trunks.

Question #3: If you were given a time machine that functioned, and you were allowed to only pick five people to dine with, who would you pick?

• My grandmother


• Mark Twain


• Mahatma Gandhi


• Leonardo da Vinci


• George Gershwin

Question #4: If you had three wishes that were not supernatural, what would they be?

• Enduring peace throughout the world


• A meaningful and rewarding job for every adult


• The opportunity and the right for every child to simply be a child

Question #5: Someone is visiting your hometown/place where you live at the moment. Name two things you regret your city not having, and two things people should avoid.

We don’t have (a) a coherent, positive vision of what this place is and why anyone might want to visit, let alone live here, and (b) Well-established and well-endowed arts organizations.

Things to avoid include (a) one thousand fast food restaurants, and (b) any of the cheesy attractions aimed at tourists.

I would have responded “road construction,” except that no one can escape that!

Question #6: Name one event that has changed your life.

Since I can name just one, I will choose the birth of our daughter. Nothing was ever the same after that. I’ve always believed that parenthood is not something you do so much as something you become. Once you are a parent, you are always a parent.

Question #7: Is not a question. It's a command. Tag five other people.

As a latecomer to the party, I think most people have already been tagged. However, if you’re reading this and you haven’t done the meme and you would like to, please consider yourself the proud recipient of a tag from me.

Happy Birthday Grace!

Dear Grace,

May this day hold many surprises and delights, including, of course, that traditional celebration we all adore.

Bottoms up!

MBS Spanko Brunch #68

Hi everybody, and welcome to the month of May. I hope your weather is beautiful and you get the opportunity to enjoy it. However, before you run out the door and frolic among the flowers, I invite you to join us for brunch.

Our topic this week is spanko epiphanies. In plain English, that means a sudden recognition that a person, place, or thing you always considered to be vanilla is in reality (or at least could be) double chocolate fudge ripple. For example, I have in the trunk of my car a long handled squeegee that is designed for cleaning windshields. It's been there for ages. I never gave it a second thought until a few weeks ago when it occurred to me that the handle would make an effective spanking implement (and it did too!).

Have you experienced a spanko epiphany? If so, please describe it and the circumstances that brought you to this realization. If not, have you ever learned something kinky about yourself that came as a surprise?

If you have thoughts you would like to add to our discussion, the process is the same as we've used in the past. You may leave a comment below, send me an e-mail message, or post a response on your own blog. Once everyone has provided their input, I will publish a summary.

Spanking 101: Safewords

A loyal reader recently inquired about the subject of safewords. I was about to refer her to an appropriate tutorial when it occurred to me that I hadn't written one yet.

What is a Safeword?

A safeword is a word or phrase used during a spanking to signal the spankee's inability to continue. The safeword is negotiated by the couple in advance and they share a common understanding of its usage and meaning.

In general, when a safeword is invoked, it is an indication of serious trouble on the part of the spankee. In most cases, this is a relatively extreme situation where normal verbal communication might be difficult. The spanker's response should be an immediate halt to all spanking activities and focused attention upon her physical safety and emotional welfare (please substitute roles and genders as necessary for your situation).

Why a Safeword?

There are a variety of opinions about safewords. Many spankos believe they are absolutely indispensable and spanking without one is hazardous. On the opposite side, others claim that invoking a safeword constitutes "topping from the bottom." From this perspective, granting control to the spankee during a discipline session interferes with the lesson being delivered. Between these two divergent views, there are many shades of grey.

Randy and I believe in safewords. Ours is "Red." In twenty plus years, I’ve used it only a few times, but on those occasions, I was very grateful for this escape hatch. I recall once being suddenly overcome by what turned out to be a digestive virus. Another time, the position I was in caused my back to spasm.

Randy knows me very, very well. Most times, he can read my emotions during a spanking session at least as well as I can. Once in a great while, though, wires can get crossed. Were it not for our safeword, my health and safety could have been jeopardized. That’s why I recommend that every couple have a safeword, even if it’s never employed.

In the case of a punishment spanking, I would expect that the full measure of discipline would still be administered at a suitable later time. In any case, I feel that having, using, and respecting a safeword is an important element in protecting a vulnerable submissive.

Choosing an Appropriate Safeword

Should you determine that you want a safeword, the first task is to select one. An ideal safeword is short, unique, unambiguous, and easy to remember. It should be a term that wouldn't normally be used during a spanking. I once heard of a couple who claimed that "ouch" was their safeword. Were Randy and I to adopt that practice, I would miss out on a whole lot of good spanking! An unusual word is a better selection.

The safeword can be as obvious as "Uncle" or even "Safeword." Or it can be something obscure, so long as the spankee can always remember it and the spanker will always recognize it.

Using the Safeword

A good safeword is like insurance. It's valuable, even if it's never needed. Simply knowing the safeword is available spurs many a spankee to greater confidence and an increased willingness to experiment.

Yet, a safeword is worthless without trust to back it up. Obviously, the spankee must trust that her partner will honor her use of the safeword and believe that she truly is in distress. She must trust that he will aid and protect her.

But trust flows in the opposite direction as well. The spanker must trust that his partner is not invoking the safeword frivolously or with intent to manipulate. This sort of trust and mutual understanding takes time. It develops through shared experiences and open communication.

When a spankee speaks her safeword, spanking and all other play should come to an abrupt halt. At that moment, her safety and well-being become paramount. If necessary, first aid should be administered. For more serious situations, timely medical attention should be sought. It would be embarrassing to reveal the type of play you enjoy, but if the alternative is a serious injury, this must be endured. The chances are that no such issues will arise, but it's best to be prepared.

As beneficial as a safeword can be, it's no silver bullet. Nor is it a substitute for open communication. A spankee is often praised for accepting her strokes without resistance. When she is feeling submissive and in the zone, pain can become a secondary consideration. In many cases, this is a positive experience.

However, if she is unable to recognize the seriousness of her situation or express it verbally, this can be a problem. Again, trust is essential. If the spanker believes it is warranted, he has an obligation to ask his partner whether she wishes to use her safeword or simply bring the proceedings to a conclusion.

Summing Up

Most spanko couples don't engage in activities that are inherently hazardous. The likelihood of a serious injury is relatively small. However, even playful spankings can result in accidents. In my view, a safeword is a simple and worthwhile precaution.

Beyond the intrinsic value of having a pre-arranged signal, a discussion of safewords leads quite naturally into other valuable topics such as limits, expectations, and responsibilities. This type of dialogue and the understanding it fosters not only enhances play, but also benefits the relationship as a whole.

Have fun and be safe!