Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Feb 12

Our question this time dealt with whether spankings can be romantic. Here are your thoughts.

Country Spanker: We like a romantic spanking. Mrs CS dictates that for this one (and only this one) we both have to be naked. She goes over my knee while I sit on the bed. We have to start off slowly and there has to be a lot of rubbing that she does not usually get. I have to continue until she is ready. Don't worry, there will be no pictures.

CS, I think your photos are very tasteful.

Sunny Girl: Spankings are almost always a part of our foreplay. It can be butt spanking, nipple spanking, or pussy spanking, but it's all done with lots of touching and kissing. Talking about it and anticipating it can also be very romantic.

CurtisG: All of my spankings, mostly giving and some taking, are either romantic or playful. That's spanking's allure for me.

Riley: Spankings are a big part of our romantic life. Sometimes they are playful. He'll pat me as I'm cooking or walking by him. He'll even make it into a game sometimes. I have to do something challenging and he usually makes it 100% impossible for me to carry through. It's often something like, "balance this on your head and then jump up and down." Of course it ends in a spanking! ;) Other times, it's less of a game and I go over his knee and get a combination of gentle spanks and caresses which is lovely. It's enough to show that he's the dom, but still a very nice and soothing atmosphere.

Make Mine Red: All of ours are for foreplay so, yes, definitely romantic and always a turn-on!

Hermione: For us, spankings are an expression of love, and every one has some element of romance about it.

Old Fashioned Girl: Spanking is foreplay and fun, but not romantic. For me, they are like oil and water. Or do I mean oil and vinegar?

That's a whole different euphemism!

R Humphries: As our spanking life is predominately of a role-playing, theatrical, and erotic nature, I believe that we both find our play-times entirely romantic. Wishing y’all a Happy Valentines day.

Daisy: Our spankings are sometimes fun, sometimes downright hilarious, and sometimes serious - either maintenance or punishment. Even some maintenance ones are fun. Maybe it's me and my definition of romantic, but simply because the whole spanking thing came into being from my request, I consider there to be romance in every one. There is ALWAYS aftercare, which is so romantic. Depending on the severity of the spanking, the aftercare ranges from rubbing and kissing and just gentle touching, to cool washcloths, lotion, reassuring cuddles and pillow talk with many I love yous. Oh, I LOVE TTWD!

Jean Marie: My good girl spankings are pure foreplay and so are the epitome of romantic!

Spanky: Most of our spankings are of the erotic or romantic variety. Spanking brings about a real feeling of closeness with all the touching, stroking, etc. And the endorphins it produces are very beneficial as well, I think.

Poppy: I think romance is about reconnection, understanding and the kind of unspoken moments of love that pass between two people. I think spanking often has this kind of romance. It about being accepted, loved and understood for being just who and what you are. It is about the other person wanting to be the best they can be for you. It is about finding a home in another person's arms that you never knew you missed. I think spanking is very often romantic, for all these reasons, but it's messy, real romance, not the Hallmark/all for profit kind.

Ronnie: Our spankings are a mixture of erotic, fun and serious and I would say all of them are in some ways romantic, especially afterward with the cuddling, rubbing of the lotion, touching and stroking.

Loki Darksong: Oh yes! Very much so! Spankings can be very romantic. For example, after an evening out, I love it when my wife dresses up in nothing more than an over-sized men's shirt and a pair of panties. Our play begins with her over my lap with a long spanking that begins over her panties and progresses to her bare.

It is sometimes difficult to put the emotions of that spanking into words. There is passion behind it. Not the type found in play spankings. It is hard. It is lengthy. But there is a warmth that goes with it. You can feel her arousal with every yelp and squirm and jerk of her body. The cooing sound she makes when I stop for a moment to stroke her rear. And then the look in her eyes when her clothing is removed.

You can use your imagination for the rest, but I believe that you can see my point. And lest we not forget, there once was a fertility holiday where spanking of a sort played an important role. It was called The Lupercalia. A very interesting holiday indeed.

Saoirse: It is always romantic. An alpha wolf, He demands my submission and writes His dominance on my flesh.

Lea: Spankings can certainly be romantic and sensual. It's really the tone and headspace of the spanking that changes that for me, the physical intensity of it can still vary from light to harder. If implements are used, I definitely prefer leather to wood. :-)

Bonnie: We spank for many reasons, but romance is the common thread that runs through all of them. The act is an expression of our love and the connection we share. It's a part of our lovemaking.

I guess that makes it pretty much unanimous. Have a splendid and spanko Valentine's Day, everyone!

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Feb 15

Our topic of the week was the relationships among spankings, love, romance, and pain. Here are your responses.

Todd and Suzy: We're talking about a similar topic on our blog this week. It's a good time of year to ask how romantic spanking can be... :)

For us, a spanking can definitely be romantic. That's especially true with an erotic one, though it's certainly possible with other kinds of spankings too. Even a discipline one can be romantic. The words used during a spanking, expressions of love and caring, as well as gentle/sensual aftercare can make for a very romantic atmosphere. The exchange of trust can supercharge that feeling even further.

That feeling isn't first and foremost with every spanking. Some spankings are far more playful or sexual, or even sensation based. But love is a part of every spanking we share.

Dr. Ken: Spanking is most definitely a caring act of love. And as we are so often reminded, there is a very thin line between pain and pleasure...

Natty: A promised spanking during a moment of uncertainty in our relationship was the most romantic gesture ever made to me. Spanking can most definitely be romantic.

Daisy: Oh, yes, yes, yes!

Otherwise, why would it be done in a loving relationship?

It shows bonding, trust, an interest in behaviour modification. Also, communication is an integral part of any successful spanking relationship, and keeping the communication going helps to develop the relationship and stop the couple from drifting. I love the feeling of connection when Davey spanks me. I love that he cares enough about me to want to do this. And romantic? Certainly. When he kisses the spot he is going to, or just has, spanked, when he rubs the pain away. When we kiss afterwards, when he tickles and spanks alternately, or explores between spanks... There are so many ways.

morningstar: In our relationship, there are most definitely two styles of spanking. One is all about the pain. These are about finding that place for both of us where the pain brings us to a new height, bonds us tighter together, and satisfies a more primal desire.

On the other hand, there are times when we celebrate life together with more sensual spankings. The same toys that had me crying and wailing the last time now have me sighing and wiggling.

The difference between the two is how Sir uses the toys, and how He uses His body. The toys stroke and caress and tease a lot more before they hit. Sir will stand close behind me. He is so close, sometimes, that I can feel His body heat against my naked body. Sir will lean in and bite my neck, nibble on my shoulder, caress the areas being spanked, and more. .His touch will be soft and sensual. By the time He is finished spanking me, my knees are weak and my heart is all aflutter...

I wouldn't select one over the other as being best. It all depends on mood. Each is the best for the day, the mood, the challenge.

Hermione: Spanking is always an expression of love between us. Each spanking is Ron's demonstration that he loves me as he gives me that delightful pain/pleasure mixture I crave so much. It is always romantic because it is part of the physical expression of our love for and commitment to one other.

Paul: Of course, spanking can be romantic. That's a given. Erotic or good girl spankings are romantic, but any spanking can be so if given with love.

Jam: Spankings have always been erotic in nature for me. They can lead into sex. There is a fine line between pain and pleasure. Spankings are very much so an expression of love.

Kate: Everyone else has expressed the feelings just well. So I'll just say, YEP!

Pammie: I don't know if I would call spanking "romantic," but it is *definitely* a turn-on and *definitely* very sensual for my partners and me. When the spanking or paddling starts, I giggle, swoon, and writhe. It's a turn-on even after it starts to hurt. Yes, for me, sensual pleasure and pain – the yin and yang of love-making – are intertwined.

Ronnie: Oh, yes. It’s definitely an expression of love.

I was spanked with roses for my birthday, the ones without thorns. It was painful, erotic, and romantic. It also demonstrates loving, caring, trust, and communication all bundled together.

Measha: I think spanking in itself is an act of love. The willingness to adventure into this word is a huge gesture of love.

For us, there are fun spankings and there are discipline spankings. Both show me how much TJ loves me and cares for me.

Anon #1: Spanking is always foreplay with us. Sex always follows, so it's definitely about expressing love. Is it "romantic?" Well, we've been married almost ten years now. Even sex isn't always romantic. Spanking has definitely made our sex life hotter though. Romance has to include romantic dialog for me. I'd love to have more romance in my spankings though!

Tom: Spanking has always been my most favored expression of connection, intimacy, excitement, eroticism and, sometimes, fun. In that all of these are, at times, aspects of expressing love and romance... HELL, YES!

Anon #2: In my experience, spankings have been more about lust than love, though I hope that's partly due to the fact that I have very little experience and none with a serious partner. I'd imagine that they could be about love between a couple if they both enjoyed it and it was for the purpose of mutual happiness with that theme. Spanking is about so much more than physical pain, including love.

Matt: When I haven't been acting stupid and earning punishment spankings, my wife has been giving me sexy play spankings. These last quite a while, involve a considerable amount of inappropriate touching, and some role playing. She does these things because she knows I love them and I pay her back with things she loves too.

The punishment spankings she has dealt out show me her love for me too. At a base level, she knows I crave the spanking and is therefore giving me what I want. But she also knows they hurt and will change my behavior. I don't want her to be upset because of something I have done, and the spanking gives her a way to "make amends" in a quick and reliable manner. So all of that contributes to the "love" in our marriage.

The entire spanking 'thing' has brought us much closer together. We now spend time cuddling on the couch or making out in the hallway. None of that happened before.

Love4her: No.... Darn it. Yes and yes.

Bonnie: Spanking is definitely an expression of love for us. For Randy and me, it’s another form of lovemaking. It can be very romantic, especially when the scene is set just right.

As for the pain being romantic, I think it can be, but the link is somewhat indirect. The way the pain makes me feel opens me to romantic overtures. But without the pain, we could never reach the same level of intimacy.

Thanks, everyone, for your great responses!

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for May 27

Happy Memorial Day to all those who celebrate it, and general happiness to everyone else. Our brunch this week dealt with spanking and romance. Here are your thoughtful responses.

Tiggr d'Amore: Oh, YES, spanking can be ever so romantic... The very act of giving and receiving a spanking incites passion, ignites that rush of endorphins, adrenaline... All the love hormones. Nothing is better for sparking the flames of romance.

How? Well, touch is paramount... Slow, soft, sensual touch, not just whacking away. Lots of rubbing and touching and kissing and caressing all over, followed by slow undressing and an even slower warm up. Lots of touching across the lap or lying on your partner. And liberal application of the hand, at least to start...

Emerald Eyes: I agree completely with Tiggr. Spankings can most definitely be romantic, provided there is lots of caressing along with it (in my opinion)...

It's that deep understanding of what you both want, and need. It’s where words aren't needed, just intense feelings (both physical and non physical)...

I know sometimes when I am feeling a little neglected, or unappreciated. CM just has to take me over his lap, begin the gentle touches along with the semi-painful spanks, and I'm 'his'...

Todd and Suzy: Spanking can be playful or erotic, serious or fun. It is certainly an intimate act too. One aspect is removing/pulling down their bottoms, and the other is touching the bared bottom in an act designed to fulfill needs and desires. And, if the people spanking are in love, and have a romance in place, spanking can indeed be very romantic.

To add to the romantic feel of a spanking, for us, we focus upon its erotic nature. A more vanilla person would imagine a candlelit room, floral scents, music, loving words, naked bodies, massage oil, touching and kisses. That's a romantic scene. We feel the same way. It’s just, as spankos, you know, we throw a leather paddle and some OTK time into the mix. ;)

Paul: Are we so different from those we call vanilla?

Picture the scene, I have finished up downstairs, locked up, checked the windows, settled the dogs. Mel went up about thirty minutes prior. I enter our bedroom, the bedside lights are dimmed. There are candles on the dresser and on mantle our favourite incense is burning. Mel is in the bathroom combing her hair. I remove my slacks, and then throw my shirt and shorts in the hamper.

I walk into the bathroom, and the sight of my girl naked, as always, turns me on. From behind I smile at her in the mirror, kiss her neck and stroke her butt. She giggles, as always, and blushes, as if we haven't done this a thousand times.

I hop into the shower for a quick wash as my beloved is waiting.

Mel is sitting on the side of the bed waiting for me. She looks so serious. I open my arms, and she flies across the room and into my arms. We kiss and caress as I deposit her on the bed. I climb onto the head end and Mel crawls into my arms. She whispers in my ear, “I've been a naughty girl.” So I inquire, “What did you do this time?” She always had to earn her good girl spankings. After much cuddling, stroking and more intimate touching, she is over my lap. This happened very often in our life together, yet the first spank always seemed to come as a surprise. After ten to fifteen minutes of spanking intermixed with stroking and the sort of touching that position encourages, Mel came. This led to me giving her several orgasms. Do I need to go on?

For me spanking is the most erotic form of foreplay possible.

Erin: I consider spankings to be very romantic, especially when there is a great deal of rubbing. We have also used candles to set the mood. Although, the most romantic spankings for me are the ones that I don't know are coming.

Paige Tyler: Spanking is all about romance for us! In addition to the sexy lingerie I like to sometimes wear, there's also the prelude to the spankings my hubby gives me. This includes kissing, caressing, and sensual massage. Then, of course, there's all the touching and caressing that he does during the actual spanking. All of that combines to make a very romantic, not to mention very fun, afternoon or evening!

Scout: I definitely find spanking romantic. One reason is that I know it was hard for my husband to sign on, but he did and continues to do so because he loves me, which deepens the love I feel for him.

And the spanking itself is exciting. There's no other type of foreplay where we talk, giggle, tease, "act," and engage each other as much as we do in spanking. It always leads to high energy, passionate lovemaking - the fulfillment of romance!

Spanking also makes us more generally aware of the little charge between us. I notice his confidence and "dominance" traits all the time, and it's kind of fun to think to myself, "He spanked me!" when I'm watching him do something as ordinary as taking out the trash. It makes life seem romantic.

Jean Marie: Spankings can be oh so romantic. I find the ULTIMATE seduction to be told that I'm going to be spanked, to have my clothing removed piece by piece, to be put in my place face down over the knee, and then to have my dreams become reality, my wish fulfilled, my bottom warmed and reddened, my will conquered, my ego sublimated, my fear faced, and my limits pushed a little...

Spankings are the best foreplay. I love to have my desires aroused, my needs magnified, my wrongs righted, and my errors punished. I can then respond with thighs parted and arms open.

Sex is the hottest after a spanking, when the flames of ardor are fanned to the point of combustion.

Mary: I love the romance of a spanking. Spanking is incredibly intimate. Even when it is for punishment, there is such an intimacy with submission, and an intimacy with knowing someone wishes you to be your best self. The trust between partners is romantic. The fire that builds is incredibly romantic. The tender wince when sitting down to dinner on a toasted bottom is this sweet secret between partners that bonds like no other. To me spankings are as romantic as can be.

PK: I agree with much of what Scout said. Since spanking did not come natural to Nick I think it is very romantic every time he spanks me. I know he is doing this for me, because he loves me. What could be more romantic?

Carye: I think spanking is very romantic. It gives us such a closeness that I feel. I know PS spanks out of his love for me. He is more a vanilla with sprinkles, than a spanko. So every time I get spanked by him, I cherish it because I know that to do this, he is showing his ultimate love for me and my needs. It is absolutely the most romantic thing!

Pagan: My hubby is a vanilla, so he spanks me because he knows I want/need him to.

I'm not sure I'd exactly call it romantic (particularly when he has me solidly pinned and is going to town on my butt), but it's definitely an act of love. :)

Bonnie: Spanking, for us, is romantic. What’s more, our concept of romance inevitably includes a good spanking. After spanking and lovemaking, I always feel more tightly bonded with Randy than at any other time. The intense, intimate experiences open me up to deeper emotional acceptance. He is my man and all I could want.

In terms of setting the scene, most of the common vanilla approaches (candles, scents, music, tasty treats, lingerie, etc.) work equally well for us spankos. We might throw into the mix a conspicuous implement or provocative pose, but as Paul notes, the process is not too different.

Thanks go, as always, to our wise and generous participants. I hope to see you all right back here for another spanko brunch next week!

Keywords: spanking, romantic spanking, romance, spanking and romance, My Bottom Smarts, spanko brunch