Sunday, May 20, 2007

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for May 20

Today's subject dealt with the spankers in our community - how they benefit from spanking and what motivates them to spank. Here are your responses.

Paul: For us spanking was the physical manifestation of the love and trust that we had in each other. It often helped Mel channel her energy in the direction that she wished to go, especially when she was a student. For me it was a constant reminder of the close connection that we had for each other and the love that there was between us.

Anon: We are very new to the scene. I have fantasized about being spanked since I was a little girl.

But this is very new to my man! He states that he knows innately that he likes it, but he is slowly coming to terms with a behavior which completely goes against the way he has treated women all of his life. He says that he spanks me to modify my outrageous behavior and has noted how it grounds my tendency to be a bit hyper.

Todd (and Suzy): The vast majority of spankings I give are erotic or playful in nature. The sights, sounds, and touching are stimulating to me. It is sexually exciting. I love the female bottom and get pleasure from spanking it. I think even the vanilla mind can grasp that concept.

Part of it too, is taking the spankee on a journey. Leading *her mind* down a path that is dangerous and terrifying, and yet also exciting and rewarding. The exchange of trust that is needed to take this trip is exhilarating to me. It's a high of sorts. I think that's something the vanilla mind doesn't grasp.

Spanking, at least certain kinds, can put a period on certain negatives too. For example, guilt that might linger in a vanilla relationship can be ended with a spanking. There is also a motivational element to some spankings. These encourage better behavior, and thus happier (and healthier, in our case) lives.

So, the benefits are many in my case!

Paige Tyler: Even though I already had a pretty good idea what my hubby'd say, I asked him just to be sure! *grin*

He said that he knows spanking turns me on, which turns him on, and that he also likes to bring me pleasure. So, since spanking brings me pleasure, he loves doing it! Plus, it always leads to great sex!

Of course, he added with a chuckle, there's also something to be said for the whole spanking-thing bringing out his inner caveman! LOL!

PK: Nick is away this weekend, but he rarely comments anyway, so I will answer for him as much as I know. His willingness to indulge me in my lifelong fantasy has given him a wife who is passionately in love with him! Our day-to-day relationship has changed from pleasant roommates to lovers who enjoy talking, touching, and playing.

He has a wife who went from being lukewarm about sex to being willing to try anything and everything in bed! He has a wife who threw out the flannel night gowns and sleeps in the nude as we cuddle, touch and spoon during the night. He has a wife who looks better, cares more, loves more and is happier than she has ever been in her life! If any husband has been asked by his wife to spank and he is reluctant, please, please have him read this!

Bonnie: Like Paige, I figured I’d ask the horse himself. Randy laughed at my question! He got a goofy look on his face and then said, “Well, uh, let’s see. There’s sex, and ummmm… [eyes roll skyward as if pondering deeply] What was the question again?”

So, I suppose I will have to answer. Here are the top ten benefits that I *think* Randy gets.
  1. A more peaceful and relaxed partner
  2. A more submissive partner
  3. The ability to explore and fulfill both of our fantasies
  4. The perfect excuse to rub his hands all over my bottom
  5. Two words: Implement collection
  6. He totally enjoys being dominant
  7. The chance to dress me in sexy outfits
  8. Great aerobic exercise
  9. His mind stays active concocting new scenarios
  10. Oh, yeah… Lots of excellent sex with a very willing lover

Em: I am speaking on behalf of CM, as blogging just isn't something he does much!

He has always made clear why he likes to and will spank me. He knows it turns us both on, so it is something sexual to us as well as for discipline. He cares about me enough to show me “the error in my ways,” and I am only ever disciplined for things that hurt us/me/our relationship. He 'enjoys' being dominant, and having the 'majority' of the control in our relationship. Although, if you were to ask him, he would tell you I am certainly 'head strong' and no pushover.

We have MANY spanking fantasies. If we never had it in our lives, we would feel incredibly unsatisfied sexually.

Lastly, I feel secure and adored when he spanks me. It shows me he loves my body, cares about what I do, and gives me that ever so 'needed' attention. He realizes this, and therefore, carries it out.

The list as to why someone spanks is endless to be honest. I think the general reason is 'you like it!'

Hugh: Spanking Xan arouses me because it arouses her. I love the feel of my hand smacking her perfect ass as she rubs and squirms on my thigh. Frankly, the business about holding position is nonsense and not sexy to me. Having her squirm and buck enhances my experience. I usually start by pulling her over with her legs straddling my thigh while the bed supports her upper body for her comfort. Baring her bottom is stimulating and provides total exposure plus access with a brilliant view for me.

The erotic spanking and caressing engorges her genitals with blood delivering a hot tight union that enhances our pleasure and helps her climax repeatedly. I spank between climaxes so that each one is stronger and the feel of her strong contractions is ecstatic for both of us. This morning, while I was finishing with the hairbrush on her sit spots, she almost climaxed again before I could enter her. We get frequent fantastic sex out of spanking. It's erotic and fun for both of us. If Xan didn't enjoy and crave being spanked, I wouldn't do it.

Spanking is foreplay, fun, and a way of expressing affection. We have a happier marriage because of it. It's the sex and spanking in tandem that enhances the relationship. We are too happy and satisfied to be in a bad temper. When I see her bend over, I swat her playfully if I'm in range, sometimes up to several dozen smacks, sometimes for cause, and she loves it. We both get aroused and it's good fun. She stays happy and easy to get along with. A warm bottom keeps her turned on. Spanking and pleasure are linked for both of us and almost a daily occurrence. As Freddie Mercury said, "Pain is so close to pleasure." By building intensity slowly, it's all pleasure for her until the endorphins wear off. Then she sits on a pillow if necessary and likes it. Xan isn't submissive, but she's well spanked and well loved. She's beautiful, brilliant, sexy, and the love of my life.

I don't read your blog but posted because she requested it of me. I give her everything she desires that in within my power to give that includes an abundance of spanking and paddling. Everyone should be as lucky as I am.

Daddy: I know that it’s an occasional turn on for her to be taken over my knee, to have her pants and panties pulled down, and to be soundly spanked. It is a huge turn on for me, but far from the only one. I almost always combine spankings with letting my hand wander over the more sensitive areas. I like to hear her whimper as I spank and moan as my hand wanders first towards the small of her back, then down over her nicely pinked bottom, and on further still towards the inner regions of her bottom.

The things which follow afterwards are always wonderful too.

Ian: To me, it's about submission. I guess I should say it's about domination, but somehow that doesn't sound right. The thrill I get is watching my wife become submissive to me.

I love the prelude. I love picking out her outfits. I love giving her instructions – where to stand, how to position herself, if she is allowed to speak or should she remain silent? I love watching her as she follows my instructions.

As for why I love the actual spanking, I've never really thought about it before. Maybe as I turn her bottom red, I am putting my mark on her, claiming her as my own. It’s not so showy a mark as a tattoo, but something private. I like to watch her look at herself when I am done, or watch her rub her bottom. I think to myself, "I did that to you, and you are mine."

On second thought, maybe it IS about domination.

Dave: Wow, I think I'm going to have to mull over a separate post on our blog over this one. I sense a lengthy answer surfacing!

First and foremost, it turns me on as nothing else sexual can come close to approaching. The intensity and overwhelming depth of my arousal is on a completely different plain.

Second, I've spanked women who definitely didn't want it, some who didn't know either way, some who partially enjoyed a few light swats, and ones who NEED to be spanked. Cindy NEEDS to be spanked to keep her centered and at peace. There is a physical change in her after a spanking; a very deep calmness.

Giving a lover pleasure has always been a big turn-on for me as well. Helping them cum. Knowing that Cindy not only needs to be spanked, but in most cases enjoys it, is the icing on the cake.

Although I will confess that actual punishment scolding and spanking sometimes arouses me more than giving her good girl ones. And since she almost always crosses over into acceptance and sub-space, on reflection she appreciates my persistence. (big smile) But that's only AFTER the spanking and during the cuddling!

Deviant: When I do switch, it's about the thrill of control. I enjoy having to make Daddy bend to my will and seeing how his eyes light up as I pull him to the corner.

I love the sounds of it. There is hypnotism in the vibrations of the spanking as they go through my arm and his bottom.

I like to watch him as I spank. His face contorts with each new blow.

I like to listen to him, his ragged breath, the grunts and yelps that come when the hurt really starts to set in.

There is something that makes me feel like a proud woman as I spank him. There is a liberating feeling, in small doses, that makes me feel like “Hey, I'm so good that I've conquered the man.”

I like it for the rare pleasure it is to reverse roles.

Unlike others, spanking is not foreplay, per se, for us, as we've not actually had intercourse. It's the main event, a release, and a pleasure that brings us intimately close.

Papa Shrek: I spank Carye because it makes her happy. She feels more comfortable with me and more secure in our relationship because of the spanking. And to quote the old saying, "If momma ain't happy, nobody is happy!" We're happy!

I would like to offer my sincere thanks to everyone who helped to make this one of best brunches ever. Great responses, everybody!

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Paige Tyler said...

Great reading, Bonnie!!!

Paige (Tigger)

Paul said...

Bonnie, number 70 was really special, thanks a bunch.
Warm hugs,

Reesa Roberts said...

Wow, everyone's comments are wonderful! This was definitely a popular topic, LOL. Thanks, Bonnie!

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