Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Dec 22

Our topic this week was weak spots on a spankee's bottom and how best to handle them. Here are your thoughts.

Country Spanker: Mrs CS does not have a weak spot as such, but her left cheek is much weaker than her right, to quite an extent. My only change is to spank the right one more.

Dragon's Rose: Avoid that spot. I have an area on my back that can't take much punishment. After just a few strokes of the flogger I can't stand any more. He just gives the rest of my back more attention or moves on to the paddles.

Leah Q: I have never heard of this. So if you tell your husband that he broke your ass, it actually might be the truth?

Hermione: I guess my bottom is pretty sturdy because we've never discovered a weak spot. The whole area between my waist and thighs is fair game.

Roz: We haven't discovered a weak spot as such, although some areas are a bit ouchier than others. He likes to give 'fair' coverage to all areas!

Wilma Rubble: We had this happen this past summer due to a bath brush I bought. Prior to that, it had never happened. He broke the skin, and didn't realize it. Since that time, it has been an issue. It's as though the new skin that formed isn't as 'thick'. I have started to use Vaseline on my bum, twice a day minimum, especially after being exposed to water. Yes, it is sticky and messy, but it has helped. The other day, an unplanned spanking happened and I had just applied Vaseline. It was a bit of a sticky spanking. LOL. But my skin was 'safe.' I think we will continue to try to protect my bottom for a few months this way and see if it helps.

Sub Jon: I have not experienced broken skin. My wife likes to apply horizontal strokes across my buttocks with the lower half getting a concentration of severe strokes to ensure that when I sit down I get a painful reminder to be obedient. As my maintenance spankings occur weekly, my wife makes sure that I am spanked severe enough that the welts and bruises remain painful throughout the week.

Es May: We have only broken the skin once, but we believe it was due to a sore and not the spanking itself. If we ever did get to the point that my skin broke, we would evaluate the implement and how the spanking took place. We had to do this when one implement we got gave me a rash. We'd been warned about one implement doing that and tossed it, but then this other one did the same.

Irish Imp: This is actually a common problem. My Daddy and I have experienced issues with this from time to time. And we are both actually very experienced in the lifestyle. We use many formidable implements and with my high tolerance, I can withstand sessions that last hours.

The first time my skin broke during a punishment was actually from a paddle. Being a nurse, I realized that my skin simply had lost moisture and broke. Daddy and I make a point to change implements frequently during a session to change the impact zone for long punishments. I always moisturize daily anyway, but we have also incorporated this into sessions. Between implements, he will apply vitamin E oil or a lotion to my bottom and thighs.

Also note that it isn't just canes, switches, etc., that risk breaking skin. The heavy, thuddy wooden implements (brushes, paddles, etc.) often do as well. So if you have sensitive skin or breaking skin is a constant problem, move to leather or rubber implements. They sting just as much, if not more, but impact the body with a give and take so it is easier for the skin to absorb the blow, whereas wood is a less forgiving impact.

D: No way should a spankee's bottom suffer from broken skin or bleeding. This is not what fun spanking is all about and she should think carefully if she wants to continue with this. By all means let her bottom burn, smart, and throb, turn a flaming scarlet, or even bruise, but broken skin or blood - no.

Ronnie: I must have a tough bottom as we've never discovered a weak spot.

Bonnie: I experienced this problem once many years ago and it took a long time for the weak spot for fully heal. The problem I had was caused by too frequent and too vigorous use of heavy wooden toys. It was an area, about the size of a penny, in the middle of my right cheek. It felt dry and less elastic than normal skin. During a spanking, it would sometimes start to bleed (a huge turn-off for both of us).

We responded by applying moisturizing lotion before and after spankings. Randy also tried to spank around it, although the location made that a challenge. I sometimes placed a bandage over the spot to provide some protection. Another major change we made was to switch to lighter, less thuddy implements. We also avoided positions that stretch the skin. In time, it went away. Since then, Randy has been more careful about mixing up implements, spanking styles, and positions.

Thank you all for joining our brunch conversation!

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Dec 15

Our topic this week was these three questions posed by Meredith:

      1. When it's time for a spanking, does the spankee become quiet and submissive?
      2. Is there any arguing or fighting when a spanking about to start?
      3. At what point does the spankee fully accept what is happening?

Reece Seever: My wife teases that I become very loving right after she orders a spanking, as if I am trying to get out of it or hoping that if I am really nice, she will not spank as hard.

Dragon's Rose:

1. It depends on my mood and why I am being spanked

2. Nope. The fun kind I am all for. I consent to punishment or call red. There's no argument.

3. Years ago, when we first negotiated our new lifestyle. It isn't something that has to happen with each spanking.

Es May:

1. It depends on the mood. It also depends on how the spanking is presented. I just wrote a post about how hard it is for me to accept a spanking if I haven't seen it coming. But generally, I try to be submissive. It is an inner struggle, but I do my best to submit.

2. The only arguing that happens is when I didn't see the spanking coming. I just need to be told why it's happening. For some reason, as soon as I know, I can calm down. The Duke and I are working on this. :)

3. I accept what is happening when I can't struggle free. LOL Or on the days when I'm calm, right away.

Hermione: I usually become submissive, though not always silent, when a spanking is imminent. There is no arguing, because we spank for enjoyment, not punishment. I fully accept it once my bottom is bared and the spanking is underway.

Janey: It depends very much on my mood and his. If I see any hesitation in him at all, I will try to use it even though that is not how I want myself to be. I would like to say that I become submissive and accepting, but truth is that I don't always. I do try to get out of it or plead for leniency. When the first few strokes have been given and I know he is serious, I become compliant and accept. If he changes implements or position after this point I can be very submissive.

Sarah Thorne: When it's determined that a spanking is going to happen, I become fully submissive and accepting of it. There's not really been any fighting beforehand (unless it's a fun spanking, then the wrestling might become part of it). However, there have certainly been intense discussions to determine whether it's needed or fair.

JJ Stars: We are fairly new to the lifestyle. We have a mixture of both fun and punishment spankings, but there is never any question about which is which. Currently, our circumstances require us to plan ahead for any spanking sessions, and even with planning, there are any number of variables that could require us to postpone.

We have six young children and our house is very small. Our bedrooms are very close. He works out of town, and for now, he only comes home every other day to save on gas. We are working toward moving to a bigger house closer to his work, but we are still recovering from a period of unemployment and it won't happen until spring/summer. So when I break a rule, it can sometimes be several days before it's addressed. We are still working out the kinks that come from putting it off that long.

My circumstances allow me quite a bit of time to wrestle with the knowledge that a spanking is coming. I also have time to remember my goals and pep talk myself into being a big girl and taking it. After all, I'm the one who wanted this lifestyle, and I have to reaffirm my choice to be committed to it. That doesn't mean that I don't hold out some hope that one of the babies will wake up and need me or some other interruption, and delay it again. But that relief is only temporary, and more delays end up making me feel frustrated. So when the time comes, even though I still feel dread, I set my jaw and resolve to get past it because I know I will feel so much better getting through to the other side and enjoying the lovely aftercare that awaits.

Jenny:

1. I am submissive, but reserve the right to verbally protest and beg for leniency (even if what I really want is a spanking - it's all part of the thrill).

2. There's never been any arguing, but I haven't had enough experience to say that will never happen. In fact, I wouldn't mind if I had to take a spanking I didn't fully agree with every now and then.

3. Acceptance is signaled by complying with requests to get into position, bare bottom, and so on. But acceptance of the spanking itself comes when the spankee stays in place even though the sensations are strongly unpleasant.

Roz:

1. It depends on the mood and type of spanking, but generally, I am submissive when it is determined a spanking is in order.

2. Again, this depends on the type of spanking. If it is correction/discipline, there is no argument. If it is for fun or role affirmation, I will usually 'try' a mini verbal protest (that never works!)

3. He usually places me in position and I am usually accepting of the spanking as soon as I'm in position. Sometimes, it even happens during the discussion beforehand.

Meredith Malloy: It really amazes me that I quietly submit to Jack for a spanking each time. I might question before we are actually in the bedroom, but once we are there and he tells me to be still, I am quiet and submit every single time.

*Bonnie*: I always submit when there's going to be a spanking. For any reason, anytime, anywhere. If he feels I need one, there's no reason for me to fight it. I asked him for this.

Abby: It depends. I do not think I am ever immediately submissive. Sometimes it happens as He spanks me, or when I do my kneeling time before the spanking. There are times when I do not 'accept' the spanking immediately. I struggle with the pain and the acceptance.

Katherine Deane: I submit to the spanking pretty quickly. Most of the time, I agree that I need it. And since we are still somewhat new in our spanking side of our relationship, I have to be really careful not to confuse him with quick 180's.

I can't argue with him too much beforehand, because we have young children who are usually watching. As much as I would like to stomp and throw a tantrum (I am quite good at them :) ), I have to hold myself in check until we get behind closed doors.

And LOL, it's really hard to pretend to be angry and pouty after losing momentum. (But I do try, sometimes :))

As for acceptance, I asked him (well, practically begged him) to do this. Even the few times when I am not sure I want to accept it, I really can't afford not to. It would be too many steps backwards for us. Luckily, most of the time, I accept it right away. I know pretty quickly when I have done wrong. and I would feel worse if he didn't hold me accountable.

Terpsichore: For me, this is something we do for enjoyment and so I am always ready to play. Sometimes, though, I protest internally if I am not in the mood. Usually it only takes my body a moment to accept, submit, and enjoy. No arguments though occasional vocalizations of "ouch" followed by "don't stop." Often, there is a lot of laughter... And since spankings do not happen enough in my opinion, begging too. :-)

Ronnie:

1. It depends on the mood and the type of spanking I'm going to get.

2. There's no arguing even when I'm going to get a punishment spanking. There would be no point.

3. When I'm over his knee and the spanking starts.

Prefectdt:

1. Physically, yes but verbally, no. I'm too much of a brat.

2. There's no arguing or fighting, but I can often pass off a cutting quip or two (bratty again).

3. When I reach the point where I can talk to the fairies. :)

Ni Na:

1. I have to undress for spankings and when I am naked, I usually have accepted that I will be spanked and I stop discussing.

2. Before I undress, I might try to argue and have difficulties stopping myself if I felt it was unfair.

3. Over his knees, and if not then, always once the crying starts, because then I can let go all frustration and anger.

Kim:

1. When the announcement is made, submissiveness is like a warm blanket completely engulfing me for some reason even though I usually already know when its about to happen.

2. At our house, there is no arguing and no discussion (unless I have a mulligan left, I only get three a year) . At that point, everything is extra swats and corner time.

3. For me, the accepting usually happens after the warm up when I am completely laid out naked and my behind begins to burn!

Tiklish: I want to be quiet and submissive right before the spanking, but Master always starts spanking me on the way to the place I bend over. This throws off the "mood" for me. There are no arguments beforehand that lead to the spanking. Master just likes to spank me, and always has an excuse ready. It always takes a few minutes for me to "accept" it while it's happening, but that's usually because my mood for it was thrown off earlier, but once the crying starts, I seem to find that place of acceptance, where I stop lifting up and telling him it hurts too much. At that point, he seems to usually stop too quickly.

Bonnie: When it's time for a spanking, I'm usually submissive, if not always quiet. I may try to discuss the spanking to come, but I don't actively resist. I accept most spankings from the beginning. On occasions when I'm not in the proper mindset, I generally find it as soon as my bottom starts to really hurt.

Thank you all for participating in our brunch!

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Nov 24

Our topic this week was preferred time of day for spankings. Here are your thoughts.

Fondles: I don't often get spanked in the morning because BIKSS and I usually only have evenings together. I suspect he'd be more energetic about morning spankings. If we lived together, it's likely that's when he'd be more inclined to spank.

As it stands, evening spankings work for me because they help me feel connected and after a long (and sometimes stressful) day, it's exactly what I need to calm down and find ME again.

Bob B: As a spanker, it does not matter the time of day. If I am fresh and alert and maybe planned the spanking, then I would feel sorry for the bottom. If I am very tired, the thought of it peps me up and invigorates me. I have been known (when younger) to get up in the middle of the night and administer a spanking. That spanking, of course, would be partly instigated by my better half, knowing what would be coming if she pushed me in the right direction.

To sum up, I can not get enough of spanking.

Kia: I think I am more reflective and emotional at night. Therefore, I would be more receptive to spanking then, whatever the reason.

Plus, I am just not a morning person. Then again, that may make it a better punishment.

Dragon's Rose: Any time of the day is good for me. If I am hyper though, I tend to panic and that ends with a safe word.

Katherine Deane: I'll take a spanking any time of the day, but I actually do better when it is administered after a long tough day and I am tired.

Hubby spanked me in bed last night because I was crabby and tired, and not reciprocating his attempts at snuggling.

His dominance helped me release the tension from the day. Even better, I got to go to bed with a nice warm bottom!

Kenzie: I think it does have to do with the type of spanking, but I think for the most part I'd go with night.

George K: Anytime is OK, although the type of spanking does make a difference. For whatever reason, all of my birthday spankings have been done in the daytime. However, if given the choice, I would choose night time.

Lea: I like mostly all spankings but if I was really tired or just waking up, I'd probably be a bit more grumpy about it. I LOVE bedtime spankings though. Something that warms me up nicely but also winds down and lets me relax will put me right to sleep.

Roz: I think it does depend on the type of spanking to a degree, but overall, I'd say evening probably works best for me.

Ronnie: I would agree with others. It depends on the spanking, but generally for me daytime is the best.

Hermione: If it's bedtime and I'm really tired, then I have no interest in being spanked. I'd rather have one when I'm alert enough to enjoy it. Afternoons work best for both of us.

S.: Prefer when I am just waking up, to find myself rolled over on to my tummy, nightdress pulled up, and a quick slapping given to my upturned bare cheeks, leaving me glowing and tingling and ready to face the new day.

Anastasia Vitsky: There's nothing sweeter than a sound spanking at bedtime. Peaceful dreams, complete relaxation, and a morning wake-up of pure contentment.

Prefectdt: Both are good, but I prefer fresh and alert. I like to "fly" because of a spanking and being alert helps me get my mind in the right place for this.

Loki_Darksong: When I am spanking someone, especially my wife, I like to be up and alert. It is safer as to not cause any mistakes and far better to enjoy what I am doing.

When I am the one getting a spanking, it depends on the situation. At parties and events, I prefer to be awake and aware. When in the company of my darling wife, during the day, I like to be fully awake for everything. At night though, a good spanking while tired feels so relaxing.

Bonnie: Both scenarios have their unique charms. The one time of day when I don't want a spanking is early morning. I usually wake a couple of hours earlier than Randy and this is my time. Fortunately for me, he has no desire to spank then either.

Thanks, everyone, for joining our brunch gathering.

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Nov 17

Our question this time dealt with where someone can begin to explore their spanking interest. Here are your thoughts.

Anastasia Vitsky: I'm glad you're asking this question, Bonnie. Too often people feel like they can't join in the conversation unless they are already experienced or in a relationship.

BDSM munches can be a great way to meet people in person in a safe, public setting. Another way is to visit people's blogs or other social media to find someone (or someones) who seem safe and sane. Of course, we can always misjudge, and newbies should be very, very careful about safety. Don't assume that people's first impressions are always honest. Be slow to give out any identifying or real-life information.

Safety first. I can't emphasize that enough.

Quiet Sara: If they are in a committed relationship already, they could just buy an implement they are interested in, lay it out one evening, wear something sexy and say, "I've been wanting to try something new!" It might work. :)

Katie: I would say that the key is research. Read around the blogs, etc. to understand some safe ways to proceed. When ready to get started, make sure that you have a trustworthy partner with whom you can talk about moving forward. I'd say take it nice and easy at first and see where it leads. Have some spanky fun practice sessions. I think a safe word from the start, is a good idea as well. Just in case!

Jenny: Ask for what you want, but don't expect too much if your partner turns out to be vanilla. If you don't have a regular bf/gf/husband/wife, then you may be able to find someone else to fill the role. If you think you want it, you will probably like it. You won't know for sure until you try. Would you like to turn 60 knowing that you never tried this thing that you always wanted?

I've talked with several women who began their spanking journey while in their sixties. While they may regret waiting so long, none regretted their exploration.

Terpsichore: I am going to answer this question as someone who has a partner as that is my only personal experience. If you have a partner and have these desires, I recommend that you take some time to read and feel comfortable. My Bottom Smarts is a great resource for anyone wishing for information and support on receiving a first spanking and safe play. Hearing others' stories can help you to accept this part of yourself and prepare you to share when you are ready.

The next step is share. Communicate your feelings with your partner. Whether you talk with them, write them, or email them, start the conversation no matter how difficult. Hopefully, your partner will respond positively and the play can begin. Take start small... baby steps... and enjoy the process of getting closer with one another and hopefully your reality will be better than your dreams. :-)

Hermione: Reading spanking blogs is a great way to start. The rest depends on whether the person has a significant other or not. If so, the next step would be to tell the SO about your dream in an honest but light-hearted way.

BlueShins: I agree about reading lots of blogs. Blogs like this one made me much more accepting of this part of myself. Take things slowly and don't rush into anything just because you have an opportunity to experience it. It's easy to get caught up in the excitement of finally being able to try spanking and get carried away. I did and it didn't lead to a great first experience. There are lots of sites nowadays where you can meet like-minded people. I'd recommend joining some and just chatting with people to begin with. Just remember to be careful if you choose to take it further.

Six of the Best: A good way to start is by attending one of the yearly spanking parties.

D.: My S said last week that her first spanking came “out of the blue.” So too was my first attempt. Having dreamed for some time of spanking her curvy rear, a bit of naughtiness made me think, “Well, why not?” I soon had her across my knee, my palm drumming away on the seat of her tight skirt. It was neither a lengthy nor a hard spanking, and S was soon back on her feet with one hand rubbing her bottom. What was her reaction going to be? I need not have worried. She grinned, and then pulled up her skirt and lowered her panties to show her bare cheeks. They were only slightly pink. You can guess where that led, and has continued to do so ever since.

Joeyred: If someone does not have a partner, I recommend that they Google SCONY and read the material about spanking. The site covers safe play, safe words and has lots of materials for people who want an adult spanking.

I recommend that someone meet members online and communicate about their desire. Members can help with suggestions on how to play safe.

I started in this manner, finding SCONY online and meeting people in the club who helped me. Eventually, I attended an event and felt very safe and comfortable.

Sarah Thorne: I've recently had someone on another journal site (vanilla) where I write, actually ask me for advice. Though it's a vanilla site, my writings are similar to my blog and story site. The guy who reads just started dating a girl who likes spanking and some bondage. He isn't sure that she has ever done either, and he certainly hasn't. He was not sure what his next course of action should be! My advice to him was to find out for sure whether she had ever participated in any of it. If so, let her guide him as to what she likes and how she likes it. I told him that fantasy and reality are VERY different! Imagining a paddling and receiving one are very different if you have no idea what it's like! :)

George K: If someone has been dreaming about spanking for a while, the first time will likely be different than they imagine. I remember the first time I asked for a spanking. I was nervous but just blurted out one night that I wanted a spanking. Thankfully, they were willing, and although the spanking was less than I wanted, it was a start.

I say be honest and say what you feel. Answer any questions and then be patient. Like all things, it takes time to learn the intimate needs of your partner.

Fiona: I would say, it depends upon the person and their situation. If they are married, find a time when they have privacy and time and explore your partner's thoughts on spanking.

I agree that reading blogs is a great way to learn, but because my spankings have occurred with my Sir, I don't know about outside of a relationship.

River Wild: Whether you are in a relationship or looking, be honest with yourself and those with whom you wish to play. Give it time because you have probably been thinking about this for quite a while and your partner, if you have one, needs to catch up with you a bit. Don't forget to have fun and be able to laugh at yourself too. :)

Grand: Purchase or stream the movie Secretary. It's the one with James Spader spanking Maggie Gyllenhaal from 2002. Even if there isn't a spark, then you and your partner get to enjoy a quirky movie.

If there IS a spark, you will be enjoying the start of something very new and exciting.

It just may be easier to watch this couple explore each other through spanking than to just coldly take the leap yourselves. Act out part of the movie, discuss, rewind and replay. Whatever might turn you on.

Bob B: For most people, in a vanilla relationship or not, it must be a very confusing and frustrating subject. From a top's point of view, where do you start finding someone that likes pain inflicted upon them? Most of the population doesn’t. When I was young, I used to casually bring it up in conversation to sound people out. Most reactions were along the lines of no one is going to do that to me. If you’re a bottom and you want to feel that stinging sensation, again, most people feel uncomfortable inflicting pain on someone they love.

All the comments here are valid because life is so diverse and things just happen out the blue. But for the most part, as Anastasia said, it is all about safety and making sure you do not get carried away with the moment. There are a lot of sites where you can meet genuine people, but there are also a lot of dangerous people as well. I occasionally dabble in Fetlife. I am not into amassing friends I do not know, but Erica, Pink and Lea always have interesting stuff to say. There are a lot of experienced people there and quite a few horror stories. As already mentioned, the munchies are a good place to start because you are not on your own, but with like-minded people. However, some find this to be too much, especially if they are very shy.

I was contacted through Fet about a year ago by someone who liked my profile. She had always had these feelings, but knew the person she was with would not even entertain it. When they broke up, she found Fet and dived right in. I explained that she needed to take things slowly. Because she is submissive, that does not mean she should be forced to do things she is not comfortable with. It was too late. She decided to meet someone alone, at their house. Before the kettle had chance to boil, he was naked and not very pleasant. Luckily, she got out before any proper harm was done. She then disappeared, a waste of a lovely lady who could have eventually found what she was looking for.

At the end of the day, it is about common sense and safety. As already mentioned, it's important to be truthful with any current or potential partner. Research as much as possible and meet people, but never in private. Make sure your safety always comes first. As Joey said, read and learn from real people's experiences. As Sarah said, there is a vast difference between imagining a paddling and receiving one. You need to completely trust the person to whom you are handing your body. Most of all, enjoy what you are getting into and don’t ever think you are a freak.

Curtis G: I started playing in the seventh grade and just tried to inveigle any girl and then woman into spanking. I had trouble at first with the party scene and was scared of playing until my fourth party. My advice for someone who has a relationship and spanking is really a core part of you is to gradually talk to your partner and see whether he (or she) is willing to explore. If he or she isn't, it's probably not going to be a long-lasting relationship because ultimately needs have to be accommodated.

If, however, you're a first-timer, I would suggest several things: (1) visit some of the blogs that Bonnie has provided (including this one) and see which one has approaches with which you feel comfortable; (2) join some of the Yahoo spanking groups, some of which hold events; (3) find groups in your area through Fetlife and attend their munches; (4) communicate with those whose comments online or profiles in Fetlife seem to be of interest.

I also recommend SCONY if you're in the East as the party you should attend first. Ms. Margaret is very protective of those new to the scene. You don't need to stay in that group -- I didn't -- but it's a very good place to start. Above all, know yourself, know what you think you'd like or want and convey that to anyone who is of interest to you. You may expand in other directions, but start with who you are and what you want.

Bonnie: I think the very first step is to know your own mind. While your preferences may change somewhat as you gain experience, the core of your interest probably won't. There are many sources today where you can learn about what different people do and get an idea of which activities and relationship styles appeal to you (or not). You can also gain confidence in recognizing that your spanking interest is shared by many other normal, happy people and supported by a strong, diverse, vibrant community.

Once armed with this knowledge, you will be better prepared when you choose to explore spanking in the real world.

Thanks, everybody, for another great discussion.

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Nov 10

Our topic this week was how we would change our first adult spanking if given the opportunity. Here are your thoughts.

Darren: Just about everything...

Having always thought spanking would remain a private unfulfilled fantasy, I was dumbfounded when my wife expressed an interest (Of course, I could have discussed it with her, but such topics weren't so accepted in the '80s). Consequently, I was nervous and tentative, not wanting to hurt her.

Fortunately, J was better able to explain her desires and limits. We persevered and have spanked (and much else ) happily ever since. But if I could turn back time, I'd approach our maiden spanking voyage with greater confidence and spank a good deal harder!

Dragon's Rose: The first spanking was not as long or as hard as I would have liked. But it was what Dragon could do. It took a little practice to get it right. I wouldn't change a thing.

Daisy Christian: I don't think I would change anything about the first time Tyler spanked me. The spankings now after three years are worse for sure. It seems that each time he spanks, he steps up his game. From the first spanking until now, this has been growing. Everything starts off small and then gets bigger as it grows. You've gotta start somewhere.

PK Corey: My first spanking was too light and too short, but yet perfect in its own way. It told me two important things. My husband was willing to listen and try for what I wanted and that, yes, I like it in real life as much as I thought I would.

The only think I would have changed was that it should have taken place about twenty years earlier.

Jenny: I'll address my first real spanking experience after my marriage ended (In my marriage, it was just a little erotic spanking. But I did have to tell him I wanted it, and then he did it occasionally).

I would have made it, or the one that followed a few days after, a bit harder. It was plenty long enough, but there could have been harder spanks at the end. I wanted something more overwhelming. I would have liked at least one implement. But, then, I have to say it was still very exciting and showed me that I do like this stuff, even if I don't like the label "spanko".

Anastasia Vitsky: I would have been more assertive about my wants/needs and less willing to let others tell me what I should want. It's a lesson many of us have to learn, sadly.

Michael: My first adult spanking experience occurred in college and I was a bit tentative, so in retrospect, I would have spanked the young lady longer and harder.

The first time I spanked my wife Season (though we were not yet married), I planned things out ahead of time, though it did include some spontaneity, and it was an amazing experience so I wouldn't change a thing.

Mr. BB: My first adult spanking occurred with someone I had been dating. I've been hardwired as a spanko my whole life, so I tested the waters first with a few well-timed jokes. It was something along the lines of "Careful, you're going to get spanked if you keep that up" style comments delivered with a smile. It fostered some conversations as we continued dating.

The first spanking was more playful and almost like a role-play. I won't go into details, but afterward ,we decided to use spanking for play, foreplay and added some "rules" for more disciplinary style spankings.

So I guess I wouldn't change anything. I look back and understand now that that relationship is what guided me toward what would later be known as a domestic discipline relationship and set me on a course to later grow as a HoH.

Simon: My first spanking experience was all wrong. I was nervous and overexcited and worried about hurting the lady. I couldn't bring myself to give her more than a few tentative spanks and whilst I enjoyed the experience, it didn't seem quite what I wanted. After a few more similar experiences, I finally worked out what was wrong. Although I had always had an interest in spanking, I had misunderstood my own desires. I didn't want to spank ladies, I wanted them to spank me. I then had number of spankings from various women and they varied immensely. When I met my current spanking partner, I realised that I had finally found exactly what I wanted. She's been spanking, caning and generally beating me for over 15 years now and I couldn't be happier.

Natasha Knight: I'd been fantasizing about spanking ever since I could remember. I sort of sprung it on my husband 15 years into our marriage, so I'd have to say our first spanking experience was awkward. But given that, I wouldn't change a thing about it.

The spanking itself was much, much less than I could take physically. My husband still had to wrap his brain around the whole idea of spanking. I think he thought of it as 'hitting' me. He's come a long way since...

Anyhow, we had put the kids to bed and went into the back room - farthest from where the kids sleep. He had me lay across his lap (I'm thinking I was in lingerie of some sort, but I can't remember). He rubbed a little and then spanked. My first thought - and I think his too - was 'whoa, that's loud!' It carried on from there, certainly nothing like my fantasies, but those days following were some of the most intimate between us ever.

We're about ten months into this now and I've learned I do not have 'buns of steel' at all. ;) Spanking has opened up a whole other level of intimacy between us. There are ups and downs, like everything else, but we're closer than before and more open because of it.

Hermione: If I had known then what I know now, I would not have felt embarrassed and somewhat ashamed to ask to be spanked. I would have stated my preference confidently, knowing that I was one of many who felt the same and had the same desires and needs.

Season: As Michael mentioned, my first adult spanking was from him. We met online and when it became clear we were falling in love, Michael booked a flight so we could finally meet in person. He told me that one of the things that would happen on the day he arrived would be my first spanking. I had three months of anticipation to get through! It was a day of many firsts - our first touch, first kiss, first time looking deeply into each other's eyes. And later that day, he took my hand and led me into the bedroom, and the moment finally arrived. Michael created a perfect experience. The best description would be "sweet ouchiness" delivered with respect and love. I would not change a thing.

Katie: My first spanking was short and to the point. Rob made a statement and message was understood. "No poking!" I remember wondering if he had secretly been to HoH school or something. It showed me that not only was he willing to try this for me, but that he was able to use it for the greater good of our marriage. It was a surprise and I don't think I'd change much about that day. I do think that I had expected more of a fun, sexy spanking first. Rob has since made up for that! ;)

S.: My first was out of the blue. It was just,"You need a good spanking young lady," and in a flash I found myself bent over D's knee, and his palm drumming away on the seat of my thin tight skirt. He set me back on my feet. My bottom was tingling happily, but I was also very excited, which I quickly showed D. Looking back on that spanking, I think it might have even better, if it had been nearer to those I get now with skirt up, panties down, and perhaps my hairbrush raising a real smart on my bare cheeks.

Houston Switch: Michael has it about right... with me topping her. Her topping me, also took some adjustment, but has greatly improved over time

River Wild: If I could've changed anything about that first experience, I would've infused my husband somehow with assurance that he wasn't doing anything wrong. He is a natural leader, and an Alpha, but he thought that "hitting" me was just not okay. It took us a few times to get into the swing of things, but my how he has grown into it! He tells me now that he enjoys my squirming and also enjoys the fact that he is in control of everything for the good of our family. :)

DelFonte: I would have asked for more, longer, harder, more frequently and told him what it did to me. Naturally, I did none of these things, so years went by before we finally entered into the spirit properly. I suppose courage was lacking and it took time to know each other well enough to take pleasure from spanking.

Bonnie: My first experience, unfortunately, was not with Randy. In high school, I convinced a boyfriend to spank me. He had no idea what I wanted or why. I didn't do a very good job of explaining and he didn't comprehend what I did tell him. It was a disaster and pretty much drew the curtain on our short-lived relationship.

If I had to do it again, I would have skipped it altogether. I would have the maturity and the perspective to understand that nothing is really “now or never” when you're sixteen. Life is long and there are lots more opportunities to live our dreams. I would also have figured out that I had very little in common with this fellow and that our futures were headed in very different directions.

As for my first time with Randy, that is a happy memory I wouldn't change at all.

Thank you all for participating in our spanko brunch this week. I hope to see everyone at LOL Day 8 on Tuesday!

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch

Our question this week dealt with having to sit on a hard surface after a spanking. Here are your thoughts.

Mr BB: It depends upon the Spanker/spankee (or HoH & TiH) and what is decided beforehand. If the spanking is for disciplinary reasons and a spanking for a similar infraction didn't work as it was meant the previous time, adding more intensity and including something like "sitting on hard surface," corner time, or writing lines can be a useful progression of discipline without going past a spankee's tolerance level.

Dragon's Rose: It doesn't matter why my bottom was spanked. We are too busy making love to worry about sitting on a hard surface.

Grand: Hmmm. Devious. I need to consider doing that to my spankee.

River Wild: I don't recall it ever having been planned that way, but it's happened a few times incidentally. Most recently, I was spanked with the hairbrush and then the belt. It ended up being quite intense and I was very sore afterward. My husband insisted about a half hour later that I go with him to a local football game where I had to sit on a hard, cold metal bleacher bench for nearly an hour. Being the sweet man that he is, he allowed me to fold up my blanket and sit on that for the last hour (also because my squirming was bugging him!).

I have heard of "punishment panties." which are undergarments lined with sandpaper. OUCH! I guess that would make it much worse.

Roz: This isn't something we do as part of the spanking itself, although I usually end up sitting on the floor later on.

Punishment panties? Ouch!

Belle L: No. There's no punishment afterward. Always gentleness.

Darren: Good girls are usually, ahem, 'rewarded' for taking their spanking well. However, sometimes, J has to endure a little deferred gratification. We take a trip to a smart local cafe for coffee and cake (which she loves), but this requires her to sit on a hard wooden chair. The sight of her first gingerly sitting her hot bottom down, then trying hard not to squirm in company adds another dimension to consensual chastisement.

Hermione: Not intentionally, but since we eventually sit down on hard chairs to have dinner a few hours after a spanking, I usually have an uncomfortable (and very quick) meal. The sting is usually still there at breakfast too.

Ronnie: This isn't something we do, although P sometimes spanks me before we go out for a meal at a certain restaurant that has hard benches.

Sarah Thorne: It's happened, but it's not a common ritual. There have been times when a very rough or uncomfortable surface has been deliberately chosen. The heated seats in our vehicle are very uncomfortable after a spanking!

Erica: I have strong feelings about this (what a surprise!). When the spanking is over, it should be over. It's time for aftercare; time to be nice. Hard chairs, sitting on rice or other lumpy surfaces, capsaicin cream -- BARBARIC!

Michael: It has happened but is very rarely. Once when Season and I were indulging in a bit of role play and after I spanked my naughty schoolgirl, she had to sit bare bottom on a wooden chair and write lines while I supervised and continued her scolding. It was something to the effect of "I misbehaved and was a very naughty girl." This was a very squirmy scene that resulted in "Happy Endings" for us both. :-)

Mr X: How about no sitting allowed for a while? Standing in the corner or standing up with hands behind her head would be a good punishment for a bad girl.

Bonnie: Randy likes to watch me squirm. That's the only explanation I can provide. It's not that he commands, “Here, you must sit on this rock.” Rather, he decides to deliver a stinging spanking immediately before we go out to dinner and the theater. At this time of year, I'll probably wear pantyhose beneath a warm wool dress. I stay nice and toasty, except for my bottom which feels crazy hot and sorer than ever. At that moment, I wonder whether anyone would think I was insane if I were to escape to the ladies room and fan my rear with a program. Of course, he just smiles and helpfully inquires, “Trouble sitting?” Um, yeah.

The only consolation is that I know he will make things right when we return home.

Thank you for joining in our brunch conversation!

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Oct 27

Our topic this week was what happens when a spankee feels they want or need more spanking. Here are your thoughts.

Hermione: It's been a long time since I complained about a too brief or too light spanking. When it happened in the past, I never complained because as a submissive, I accept whatever my husband chooses to do. But I had other ways of letting him know I could take more.

Setting out several implements for him to use was a way of letting him know he didn't need to stop at one. Expressing admiration for his spanking talent during or after a spanking let him know that I wasn't unhappy or distressed by his actions and that he wasn't overdoing it. I also brought out an hourglass once to use as an indication of when to stop. It ran for 15 minutes. Spankings also tend to last longer when they are not part of foreplay, but encounters for their own sake (although lovemaking might follow at a later time).

Ron now continues a spanking for much longer than he used to, and when he's done, I am usually ready to stop too.

Dana: Not so much now, but in the beginning, there were a few times. I usually tell Steve if I don't feel like it was enough. Most of the time, he did more, but once or twice, he felt like I had already had enough and chose to talk about it instead.

Meg: I tend to be very straightforward. The very first time, he was being his usual, gentlemanly self and delivered the first swat with the paddle so as to leave a mildly titillating sting, but no more. I simply looked back at him with an amused smile and said, "Oh, come on! You can do better than that." That was all he needed, and he laid the next four on, not as hard as he could, but still with considerably more force and sounds like pistol shots. Now that we're a competent team, he knows my limit and pushes me to it, and sometimes a little beyond, every time.

Reece Seever: Not during a session. Since we use spanking for DD. It doesn't really work if it's not hard. So, I will tell her if a session did not really push me to my limits.

S: Still over D's lap after a good spanking, my smarting bottom upwards, I said out of devilment, "Is that what you call a spanking?" He said nothing, but then I felt the cold wood of our big hairbrush on my hot cheeks, and I got a spanking I have never forgotten!

Mr BB: A spankee should have a voice in all their needs including the length or intensity of a spanking.

Personally, I think discussions beforehand are very helpful and vital if a Spanker and spankee are beginning their play or disciplinary spanking dynamic. There should be a safeword also so the Spanker knows it's alright to keep going no matter what the spankee says, other then the safeword.

If the spanking is for disciplinary reasons, it's also helpful to have a safeword, but the spankee (TiH) may not feel it necessary to use because they both have a full understanding of the spankee's tolerance levels and what is sufficient for each progressing level of discipline.

Communication is the Key!

Michael : Season and I are very good at verbalizing our needs. Just yesterday, Season shyly mentioned she would like a spanking with the leather nanny paddle. Last night, I proceeded to toast her tushy with the small but potent paddle. On very rare occasions, when Season is in the zone and after I scorch her bottom to a glowing red and I think she has had enough, she will remain over my lap, raise and wiggle her bum in a silent plea to continue her spanking. Sometimes, she will will purr "More" and though her bum is sore, I will continue the spanking until she is satisfied.

River Wild: My HoH is a gentle man and doesn't like hurting me, so he tries to err on the side of caution. Usually, he stops a minute or two after I start really crying, but I could probably take much more. For me, a hard spanking is somehow easier to take once I start to cry, probably because I am more in acceptance of the fact that my naughty tush is getting tanned no matter what, and nothing I can do or say will change that. At times, the spanking will go on just long enough for me to start thinking of mean names for my husband and then stop. He always makes me look at him before deciding if I've had enough because if I'm still glaring or pouting back over I go. I can't hide my emotions!

Prefectdt: In my case, the answer to the first part of the question is yes. However, I appreciate when a Top or Domme who may not know me that well is careful at the start of play and works up to finding my limit.

This can take a little too long sometimes, so I drop a hint by thanking them for being so lenient with me. That usually works. If it does not work, then I just ask for harder play straight out.

Elizabeth T.: My Sir tends to be more lenient than not. Spankings hurt, but even when I cry, I know I can take more. I often crave more but he doesn't seem willing to give me more and I accept that as his submissive. I sometimes find myself becoming a brat because I want to feel his dominance. It's still new to me and scary and I am not always sure if I can communicate my needs to him as well as other submissives seem to communicate with their doms.

Welcome, Elizabeth!

Roz : I have had some occasions in the past when I felt the spanking didn't quite get me the release I needed and I told him that I wish I had been able to release. His response was to simply ask me if I needed more and then deliver it. LOL

In the early days, there were a few occasions where I didn't tell him, but I ended up 'acting out' afterwards.

Bonnie: We generally do a pretty good job of communicating expectations beforehand, but once in a while there is a disconnect.

Randy is usually delighted to learn that I require more spanking. A second spanking under such circumstances is always a lot more, um, effective. He has certain painful implements and less than dignified positions he reserves for these occasions. When I ask for more, it is with a full understanding of what awaits me. I can expect a very sore bottom and complete satisfaction of any residual spanking need. Sometimes, when I'm in just the right frame of mind, it's worth it.

Thank you all for joining our brunch conversation!

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Oct 13

Our question this week dealt with corner time after a spanking. As I had hoped, you provided a broad range of responses.

Dragon's Rose: If I get up mad, I won't accept aftercare. Corner time gives me a chance to realize what is going on. Most of the time, I am wrong and just need a little time to let it sink in. By the time Dragon is ready for round two, I am ready to submit and accept aftercare. One does not replace the other.

Six of the Best: I have always enjoyed commanding a woman to the corner, before and after a spanking given to her on her bare bottom. Before, her dress or skirt is up showing her panties, knickers, or bloomers. And after a spanking, these feminine undergarments are down to reveal her reddened naked rear end. For me, it's a sexual, erotic turn-on. Especially so if she is wearing a garter-belt and stockings.

Kia: As with the spanking itself, I like the idea in theory, but would probably hate it in practice. Though that's not necessarily a bad thing. ;)

Indy: Corner time is pretty rare for me, but I don't object at all. I actually prefer corner time before the spanking. It allows me time to let go of everything else that's running through my head and let the anticipation build. If I'm playing with a trusted partner who will help me get into a submissive headspace, the act of obeying this fairly ridiculous command definitely helps me get there.

I don't mind it afterwards. Like Dragon's Rose, I often need time to myself if the spanking has been challenging or stirred up rebellious thoughts. It also provides a bit of a punctuation mark to a scene, moving me from a space in which I am in a role or have at least tacitly agreed to obey my spanker back into the real world in which I am free of these constraints.

Hermione: It's not something that we have ever done, nor is it likely that we would try it. It simply doesn't float our boat, but I can understand how it might appeal to some.

River Wild: I would like for my HOH to use corner time, but so far he hasn't. The last time that I was paddled hard for more than a few minutes, I started to go numb and ended up with more bruising than usual. After we figured out why this happened and that I needed a break every couple minutes to retain sensitivity, I thought about bringing it up to him, but I chickened out. I'm afraid I would get in more trouble as I have a hard time standing still in normal situations, let alone with a hot bottom in a boring corner! Still, the thought of him ordering me to display my red bottom in the corner while waiting for round two kind of turns me on. Maybe he'll read this...

Mr. BB: Like so many areas of spanking (or within a DD relationship), it depends on what the couple has agreed upon previously.

If agreed upon, corner time can be an effective tool and has many uses. When implemented "after" a spanking, it's useful as a time of reflection. IMO, especially after a disciplinary or punishment spanking, aftercare immediately afterward is a must.

Jason Girl: I dislike corner time, and would dislike it especially after a spanking. I feel rejected in the corner. It doesn't feel loving to me. He has used it to bring me to my submissive place, and it did work. However, there have been times when he's given me space after a spanking, and if he asked me to go to the corner, I would of course. But as MrBB said, the aftercare is essential.

Roz: Corner time is rarely used here. If in conjunction with a spanking, it is mainly used before or during. It does allow me time to reflect and also really puts me in the submissive mindset. No matter at what stage of the spanking it is used, for me it greatly intensifies not only my feelings of submissiveness, but also vulnerability so aftercare is a must.

D.: No way. If my lady is brave enough to accept a sound spanking, paddling or whatever, she should not have to stand in the corner, with her bare bottom, which she is longing to rub, displayed for me to gloat over. After a spanking, I leave her draped over my lap, or what she has been bent over, for a short time. Then, with a quick pat, I tell her she can get up, and she scrambles to her feet to soothe her smarting bottom. Occasionally, if she is bound, she will soon say something like "Please, I'd love to rub my bottom," and I let her loose at once.

Ruth Staunton: Corner time after a spanking is actually a hard limit for me. Corner time on its own is fine, but not after a spanking. Even in virtual or long distance play, it sends me to a very bad place in my head.

Mona Lisa: I think that corner time is demeaning and insulting because it will never be accepted in our home. If a woman accepts spanking punishment, why do you have to humiliate her standing in the corner with a bare ass?

Corinne Alexander: In our relationship, corner time works the best when it's in the middle of a spanking and I'm being rebellious. It helps me to collect my thoughts and get myself into a more submissive state. Afterward, we both need re-connection time, so corner time would be too separating. It has its uses beforehand, but is rarely used that way for us.

Bonnie: Randy uses corner time when it suits his purposes. He says that it helps the spanking to “sink in” before we move on to other activities. I think he likes to display the artwork he has just created on my canvas. I usually don't mind too much because he so enjoys the view and it's generally over in about five minutes.

Other times, and increasingly of late, he has a different plan. Randy gets me arranged according to his wishes and then memorializes the moment by snapping photographs. I sometimes find this part unsettling, but not sufficiently so to ask him to stop. As long as he is dreaming over pictures of me, I know he will never stray.

Thanks, everyone, for joining us for brunch. I look forward to seeing you again next weekend!

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Oct 6

Our question this week was whether a spanking can be relaxing. Here are your responses.

Hermione: Yes indeed. It's just what I need to unwind after a hard week.

Curtis: Yes, depending upon the type of spanking. There are spankings I give where my female partner can lie over my lap for more than an hour and I have on a rare occasion received a similar one.

Six of the Best: Speaking for myself, when I am spanking a woman on her bare bottom. I find that enjoyment most relaxing indeed. Most heavenly relaxing, it's like floating on air.

Prefectdt: And the simple answer is Oh God Yes!

I can get so high on endorphins, from a well-executed spanking, that it can take hours, if not the rest of the day to come down and I get very relaxed. I even get a reduced pulse rate after a good spanking, most times.

Dragon's Rose: Yep, it sure can be relaxing. But I find a gentle flogging to be more relaxing, though my definition of gentle may not be the same as yours.

Enzo: Yes! very much so. I am the one giving the spankings and it is very relaxing for me. It is my solace!

I have explained it better here.

Belle L: The time after a spanking can be very relaxing, but I'm not relaxed during. I'm either wanting it to stop, or wanting it to lead to other things. The desire is not relaxing.

S.: It depends. If I am draped over D's lap, and he is pat-a-caking my bare cheeks, with his hand, it is very relaxing. But that soon turns exciting and needs have to be satisfied. On the other hand, being bent tightly over with bare bottom on high, to be dealt with by a big paddle or cane, is certainly not relaxing at all.

Anon #1: Sometimes it's the ONLY thing that will relax me.

Ronnie: It does depend upon the type of spanking I'm getting, but generally, yes, it can be very relaxing.

DelFonte: From my perspective, the more I relax, the less pain I feel, then in turn, the more I want. By the end, I am very relaxed. If I resist or struggle, that's a different story.

The Refined Dominant: Absolutely, a spanking can be relaxing. I feel wonderful after I've spanked my Ella.

Simon: Relaxing, painful, exciting, humiliating and erotic. The great thing about spankings and related activities is that they can be all of these sometimes at the same instant.

Anon #2: I find that dreaming about getting a spanking is very relaxing. While I'm being spanked, I'm not usually so relaxed. We are rather new to this, however, and I'm getting more relaxed lately. I'm finding the whole ritual soothing and comforting. Maybe that's because I'm getting used to it, and because he only uses his hand. I'd like to branch out with other implements, but he isn't ready to take that step.

Tori: The spanking itself is only relaxing if it's not done for punishment. After a punishment spanking is relaxing.

Bonnie: I agree with Ronnie and Curtis that it depends upon the type of spanking. Some spankings are relaxing by design, like a very brisk massage. More often, the spanking itself is not relaxing, but the enduring effects certainly are. After a really good spanking, I feel limp, almost liquid. It's a peaceful place I look forward to visiting.

Thank you all for participating in our brunch conversation!

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Sept 22

Our question this week dealt whether we think people in a public setting might sometimes be able to detect a freshly spanked bottom. Here are your thoughts.

Curtis G: Not since childhood.

Ana: That can be part of the fun... Or punishment, if it's a punishment one. :)

Reece Seever: Not in exactly that context, but I have felt something close to it in two situations. First, early on in our DD relationship, I was very nervous about anyone finding out, and I was still in that early-stage where the change in our relationship was keeping me on pins and needles all the time. One morning, my wife called me at work and asked offhandedly how my schedule looked for the day. I told her I wasn't too busy. She said that was great, because she wanted me to drive home at lunch. She instructed me that I was to be there by no later than 12:30, and that I was to go directly to our bedroom, get out her tools, strip and get in position for a spanking. This was to happen as punishment for something I had done a few days before. I did as instructed, and it did worry me that people would wonder why I left by myself in the middle of the day. I proceeded home, where I did as instructed and was given a very sound spanking and strapping. I drove back to work and spent the afternoon sitting on a very sore bottom and wondering whether anyone would see that I was sitting gingerly. But, I was not seriously concerned that anyone would associate it with a spanking.

One context where it is a concern, however, is when I workout in the morning after a spanking the night before. It is always hard ensuring that when I get into and out of the shower, no one sees the marks from the night before. As far as I know, no one ever has.

The Refined Dominant: I love the feeling of no one knowing that my darling little slave's ass is red from the spanking when we go out.

Welcome, RD, and thanks for joining us for brunch!

Lea: I don't realistically think that people would be able to tell that I've been spanked (unless I'm out with other spankos who of course recognize the seat shifting!). But sometimes I do wonder whether anyone notices how I'm moving or blushing.

Spanked Simon: I'm not someone who winces when sitting or wriggles around following a punishment session, so on the whole, I wouldn't think anyone realises. Sometimes, though, she has mentioned my sore bottom in a restaurant or similar place and although she always says it very quietly, I always blush and worry that someone might have heard. Once a young woman sitting at the next table might have heard and she did give me some very odd looks during the rest of the meal.

Hermione: I have often wondered what people might think if they only knew. It isn't a fear, but more of a turn-on for me.

S.: I once earned a sound spanking with a paddle, just before going out to dinner. During the drive there, the smart was cooling down a bit, but the tenderness starting, so that when we arrived I was not too happy about seating myself down with the other four, who were, I thought firmly vanilla. It had been a hard spanking, and I could not help fidgeting my poor bottom on the hard chair. Finally, Jane our hostess, asked whether I was OK.

What the hell, I thought, and with all four of my cheeks blazing, I muttered, "Yes, but David has just given me a good spanking." She gasped in surprise, "Ooh, how thrilling, do let's see the damage." In for a penny, I thought, and stood up, hoisted my skirt, for them to see my burning bottom, barely covered by tiny panties. They whooped with delight, and Jane's husband Tom said, "You'd better join the club, Jane," and in a trice, she was over his knee, skirt on high, and getting a a good spanking, although only with his hand, before being allowed up to sit fidgeting beside me! The other girl, Pat, was spared a spanking, but next day she told me that when they got home, her Tony took a switch to her bare bottom, which caused real sitting problems for some time!

Prefectdt: I've done a lot of sitting and uncomfortable shuffling on trains after being spanked and wondered if anyone had worked out what had happened. In some respects, I kind of liked the idea that some of them had.

Fiona: We've never unwittingly tipped anyone off, but periodically, Sir will throw intentional comments like "good girl" or spank me playfully as I pass by or tug my ponytail. But they are always very intentionally done. I do wonder what many would think if they had any idea of what happens behind closed doors.

Ronnie: I do wonder whether people in the restaurant notice how I keep shuffling in my seat and also wonder if they ask themselves why.

Bonnie: I do wonder how much friends and strangers can deduce simply from body language. Could they know? I can't confirm it, but I cannot dismiss the possibility either. So I worry even as I fidget. Rational? Perhaps not. But it's a part of the experience of being spanked.

Thank you all for participating in our community brunch. Next week, please be sure to join us as we celebrate two special occasions by turning our brunch conversation bottoms up.

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Sept 15

Our topic this week, in honor of our 400th brunch, is favorite brunch memories. Here's what you had to say.

Sunny Girl: Very elegant. I'm excited to receive an invitation. Thank you.

Thank YOU, SG!

Hermione: It's hard to pick just one, but my favourite brunches have been the ones that require a little imagination and creativity on the part of the participants, such as these:
Spanko Museum,
Spanking Olympics,
Spanking Festival,
Spanking Interview Show,
Spanking Room, and
Fantasy Spanking Apparel.

I also enjoyed all the brunches that I had the pleasure and honour of hosting over the years.

Great choices, Hermione. Thanks!

Indy: The thanks should go to you, Bonnie, for setting the tone for these brunches and for providing the space for over seven and a half years. That's astonishing longevity in the spanko blogosphere, and your gift for bringing together spanking enthusiasts with such a wide range of desires and opinions is remarkable. So thank you!

The blog comment that leaps out to me in response to this week's question is one that Mija made a number of years ago. The question was about managing a spanking relationship with children in the house. Much of the conversation was about strategies for making sure the kids didn't find out. Then Mija jumped into the conversation with a gleeful and reassuring observation: Her parents had been spankos. And she'd never had a clue until her mother confided in her much later.

You're most welcome, Indy. It's been a genuine pleasure.

Six of the Best: Your 400th brunch setting is most elegant. Which 'Six of the Best' past or present spanking bloggers deserve to sit around it, when honored to the Spankers Hall of Fame?

I think we would have to set some more places!

Anon #1: I've lurked since nearly the beginning, commented anonymously on rare occasions and learned a good bit about myself. It's been a huge relief to know I'm not the only one with this kink. My favorite brunches have been the practical ones, such as the discussion of why the sting feels worse on a wet bottom. It's been a pleasure to find Hermione, Ronnie & Carly and to be edited by Bonnie. Thanks to all of you for sharing the stories and links! Happy 400th!

Thank you, Anon! You'll always be welcome here.

Starla Kaye: I enjoy this blog, but don't get here too often. The mixture of people leaving comments is great.

If any of you are interested, I'm taking part in the Saturday Spankings sharing of snippets with other spanking authors. You're welcome to drop by and share in the fun. You can get there through my website.

I too particularly enjoy the diversity of perspectives.

Anastasia Vitsky: Congratulations, Bonnie! I have missed more brunches than not lately, but I do try to peek in even if I can't leave a comment. I don't think I have a favorite brunch topic, although I love the one that made Bas leave his comment about men being sissies and wanting to find women who will be spanked. :)

In the spirit of inclusivity, I also like the topics on a general/theoretical/hypothetical level that allow everyone to respond (rather than ones that people can only answer if they are in a spanking relationship).

Thank you, Ana. We definitely want to be inclusive. I will apply your valuable insight.

Mr. BB: All of the topics are wonderful and that's not a cop-out. It's the truth. The varied opinions based on the questions you pose here are enlightening to read and share. I have always enjoyed that everyone has an equal say and no one is ever judged for their opinions here.

You have built an inclusive and welcoming place for all to share. Thank you Bonnie

You're welcome, Mr. BB. Those two words capture precisely what we seek to build here.

Roz: I love the brunch setting Bonnie. It's very elegant. Wow, 400 brunches, congratulations! Many thanks to you for hosting and raising such interesting topics.

It's so hard to pick a favourite bruch :)

Yes, me too, Roz.

D & S: Our favourite is Select a Spanking, which relates the most memorable, but we're sure by no means all, spankings that have landed on Bonnie's famous bottom, and she seems to have enjoyed every one of them! However, the list dose not seem to have been added to recently. We hope her superb bottom has not retired from active service.

Fear not, dear friends. My lack of story production is attributable to a lack of time and not a lack of inspiration. We still enjoy plenty of good spankings around here.

Curtis G: Congratulations and thank you for providing a thoughtful place to commune and share and for keeping us up-to-date of happenings in the blogosphere. I want to second what Anastasia said -- that you need more topics that do not posit an ongoing partnership. I might want one again some day, but I'd rather join in the discussion based on where I am now not where I was.

Thanks, Curtis. I hear your question preference and we will honor it.

Houston Switch: Thank you, Bonnie, for the past 400 brunches. While I rarely post, I get here to lurk nearly every week. The information and charitable sharing has provided much insight on the kink we all share. I hope we all can continue to come together often for many years to come. G-d bless Bonnie, this site, and all who visit.

Aw, thank you, HS!

Ronnie: 400 brunches, congratulations. I've enjoyed all of them. So hard to pick just one.

Thank you for being a wonderful regular here at brunch.

Anon #2: My beloved and I just started this journey a little over a year ago... and baby, we have come a long way! Bonnie, thank you for being an encouragement along the road. Your blog has been a great source of information and inspiration, reflecting varied approaches philosophies, and mmm... flavors.

My favorite brunch was about the words/phrases/sentences used during spankings. In fact, I think there have been two brunches on that topic, and I loved both. There was one comment on the more recent discussion of words during spankings that really stuck with me that goes something like this: "You'll remember this every time you sit down tomorrow."

You're very welcome, Anon. We like flavors. :)

Prefectdt: Congrats on the 400.

I can't remember when it was but I enjoyed the brunch about being spanked to tears. It's something that has never happened to me so all the replies where fascinating.

Thank you, Prefectdt, for your active participation and shared experience.

Sara: Wow! 400! You're the best, Bonnie! I'd add to the chorus of thank yous for what you do!

Sara, it's always a treat when you stop by. You're most welcome.

Jenny: I like the ones that get the most comments. Which ones were those, by the way?

Jenny, the brunch with the most comments (39) was one where we asked for suggestions to celebrate my birthday. It turned out that a lot of brunchers thought I should be spanked. And I was.

Kia: Congratulations on the very impressive milestone! Your brunches have been an invaluable source of information and interaction.

My favorite topics have been the ones that, when I first read them, make me worry about the direction the conversation may go as they seem to be particularly sensitive and/or controversial topics. Despite any initial concern I may have, I've always found that your commenters present multiple viewpoints and tend to provide very balanced and level-headed coverage of many sides of the topic. A example that sticks out in my mind is the question about paying for spanking posed about a year ago.

Thanks for all that you do in encouraging these discussions and providing a safe and welcoming place to exchange ideas.

You hit upon my favorite aspect of brunch. Even when we disagree (which is fairly often), we can celebrate our differences and not let them divide us. By allowing diverse points of view to be expressed and respected, we aim to invite in anyone who feels they might otherwise be on the outside. We are truly more alike than we are different. Emphasizing our common interests lays the foundation for a strong, vibrant community.

Bethie: Congrats, Bonnie! 400 is quite an accomplishment. Wow!

I think these brunches are a wonderful way for people to share thoughts and ideas. Thank you for that! Because there have been so many good ones, I don't have a favorite topic, participant, or comment. That's a good thing, right? :-D

Yes, that is a good thing. In fact, I completely agree. Thank you for joining us. You're always welcome here.

AD: I have lurked for many years, but wanted to say thank you for hosting the brunches. I've learned so much from you all on quite a range of topics. Best of all, you helped me start my married life as a spanko rather than quietly hoping for more. My husband saw me reading this blog one day shortly after the honeymoon, and was happy to oblige. :)

Hi, and welcome, AD. I'm delighted to be able to help!

Bonnie: I don't really have one favorite. There have been so many memorable weekend chats that it's impossible to single out just one.

I really enjoyed the times when new friends delurked during brunch. There was something about the topic or the dialog that served to draw them out. If I can figure out that secret ingredient, I'll definitely do it again.

I also love the give and take of a good discussion. I don't mind when people disagree. In fact, as long as it's civil, I celebrate differing opinions.

Finally, I love it when we are able to learn from one another and enrich our lives.

Thank you all. You write these posts one comment at a time. I then get the privilege of sharing them with the world. For that, I feel very fortunate.

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Sept 8

We had two different questions this week. The first concerned other kinks that you or your partner like to combine with spanking. The second solicited a topic for next week's 400th brunch. Here's what you had to say.

Six of the Best: Here is an interesting spanking question. Will we ever see a 3 D spanking movie? Would you wish to see one? And who would you wish the stars to be?

I would love to see a 3D spanking movie made by writers, actors, videographers, producers and directors who understand consensual adult spanking. Most of the time, Hollywood gets it entirely wrong. Just once, I'd like to see a realistic portrayal of kink and those who practice it.

Fiona: Another kink with our spanking? There are so many to choose from. Frequently, spanking is paired with the power exchange of our D/s, sex, sometimes bondage and other lovely activities.

Question: what have you learned from Spanko Brunch?

Renee Rose: My husband's kink is threesomes. We have not yet combined it with spanking, but I'm thinking it will actually be easier for me combined that it has been separate...

Michael M: My wife probably regards our FLR and D/s as kinky enough. I have made nudges towards anal and pegging, but have been rebutted on these ideas. I am lucky enough I guess.

Hermione: My husband if fond of tying things up, like tomato plants and cucumber vines in the garden, and me in the bedroom.

I know that most of your readers won't have attended Brunch #1, but it might be fun for readers to tell you when they attended their first brunch. They could give the actual brunch number or topic by checking the archives, or just give the month or year. We could see who has been participating the longest in this weekly ritual.

Butt Stuff: I like to refer to it as "Butt Stuff," which to me includes spanking, enemas, anal penetration, figging and pegging. I have a penchant for all of these activities. I am a straight, married 50-something male who switches from top to bottom for all of these kinks.

Jenny: We don't combine anything kinky with spanking. My bf isn't very kinky. The things he likes that might have been kinky in the 1950s are now quite run-of-the-mill and would not shock anyone under the age of 65! My only real kink is spanking. Other fantasies are best kept as fantasy.

I like the "What have you learned from the Brunches?" question. I don't know what my answer would be. I'll have to think on that one.

Prefectdt: I'm not sure if this counts as a kink, but I find women far more attractive when they are wearing an appropriate pair of glasses. I also fantasise a lot about sexually stimulating partners up to and including the point of orgasm, whilst they remain fully clothed but I have only very limited experience of this in real life.

Suggested question - How much do yo think that our generation of internet brunchers have to teach the younger brunchers that are bound to appear in the next few years? And what would be your top tip for them regarding brunching and/or kink in general?

Elle: I don't think we involve anything really kinky... Yet. :) We are still less than a year in, so I'm sure that could change.

I like Hermione's suggestion for a 400th post question.. But I don't remember what my answer is! LOL :)

Lea: I like a little bondage. I don't get that often from my partners, but the few times I have been tied/handcuffed/blindfolded I really enjoyed it and it made me feel much more submissive towards the overall experience and spanking.

I really have no idea what to suggest for the brunch since I haven't been here for all of them to remember what's been covered!

Bonnie: As others said, we don't really consider any sort of sex to be inherently kinky. We assume that just about everyone enjoys those at one time or another. I guess light bondage would qualify as our second kink to be combined with spanking. We don't do anything elaborate or extreme, but a bit of restraint can make the entire experience more intense.

It sounds as though many of you would like some sort of brunch retrospective. I'll work on that for next weekend!

Thank you all for joining our weekly brunch celebration!

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Aug 18

Our question of the week dealt with how we might carry on when sex is no longer practical or even possible. Here are your insights.

Dragon's Rose: Sex and making love go together, but when health gets in the way, we improvise. Making love becomes the center of our private time together. We learn more about each other when sex is not possible.

Sunnygirl: As Dragon's Rose said, I believe you find a way to improvise.

Minelle Labraun: I agree with Dragon's Rose and Sunny. You find a way to create intimacy that considers both partners.

Reece Seever: Like most men, I pout. ;-)

Don: Spanking and sex are two sides of the same coin. When one side, for what ever reason diminishes, the other side needs to be boosted to maintain balance.

As an older couple with less than perfect health, we have had to become more inventive, sensitive, considerate and spend more time fulfilling the other's needs.

And guess what? The bottom gets redder and the cuddles just keep on getting better.

Prefectdt: As far as spanking is concerned, spanking and sex have mostly been separate events for me. I think that spanking can stand up as a fun activity on its own when given the chance.

Hermione: We both enjoy spanking for its own sake. I like the adrenalin rush and the relaxed afterglow, and Ron seems to have a lot of fun reddening my bottom. If a little intimate action takes place afterward, that's a bonus. If not, there's no pressure and no expectations. When sex happens, it's usually spontaneous, while spankings are regularly scheduled, so I have the best of both worlds.

Bleuame: There have been many times where I have been injured and haven't been able to play and the sex was next to impossible. You learn to do what you can. For us, His pleasure is my focus. What other ways can I provide pleasure? How can I still please him while I can't be so physically active? Those are the questions we figure out. I think the sex thing, to be able to put it on hold and adapt comes from all those years of day-to-day intimacy.

Lea: Spanking and sex are often separate for me. I love both activities and if one had to lessen or stop because of health or other circumstances, then I wouldn't be very happy about it. But if nothing could be done, then I think my partner and I would find other ways of continuing to meet the other's needs. It would be hard though.

Michael M: Spanking and discipline are separate from sex in our household. A good spanking might lead to sex, but it is not inevitable. In many ways, I prefer it if the thrashings I am given are not followed by sex.

It gives them a certain dominant or discipline flavour.

That said, I am more than willing to give cunnilingus after a caning to show my appreciation of my wife's superiority.

Ronnie: I think you would have to become more inventive in finding different ways that were easy to achieve and pleasurable for both partners.

Hobbes: We are now in our sixties and have been at this for forty plus years through eight major surgeries [her] and three more [me]. She has two titantium hips and a plethora of other things that were not there when we started but we are still sexting and spanking and loving and it is as good as or better than ever. Our only concern is that if we make it to a nursing home, will the confines and the quiet be a problem? For that, we have the rubber hose, after we close the door and lock it. We made it through raising two kids, so we can handle the nursing home.

Jenny: I expected the question to ask, "What if spanking were no longer a viable part of the equation?" I'll address both activities.

Sex: There have been times (6 weeks each) when conventional sex was not possible. Sexual activity was less frequent (and cuddling and kissing increased), and alternatives were explored. It was okay, but we were glad when we were given the all-clear to return to conventional sex along with all else.

Spanking: I've never experienced an illness-related pause in spanking, so I don't know how we would handle that. Illness generally puts all non-essential life activities on the back burner, so I assume couples would have to reduce spanking activities for the time being and would resume when they both had the energy and ability to enjoy a little spanking.

Bonnie: We're in our mid-fifties and in reasonably good health, but we see some changes even now. The sexual gymnastics we enjoyed in our twenties are inadvisable if not impossible today. We more than compensate by adding in a few tricks that our younger selves wouldn't have imagined. Nevertheless, we have had this conversation.

Chances are that we wouldn't both lose our abilities or inclinations simultaneously. Therefore, it will fall upon one of us to find a way to accommodate the other. I know we will each do what we can to preserve our intimacy as long as possible. If there comes a day when we are reduced to gentle hugs and whispering secret stories of past adventures, we will make that pleasurable too.

Thank you all for participating in our brunch!