Sunday, May 13, 2007

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for May 13

I hope everyone enjoyed a beautiful Mother’s Day. We certainly did. Quite appropriately, our brunch topic dealt with reconciling the responsibilities of parenthood with our desire to engage in adult spanking activities. Here are your responses.

Paul: Unfortunately, we were unable to have children. We had planned for that eventuality. The master bedroom was well away from the other bedrooms and an intercom from the nursery. The bedroom and my office, from where I worked from home, were soundproofed. This arrangement still came in useful when we had guests.

Scout: Wow, the biggest issue is noise. Last week, our middle-school-aged son said he heard "a crashing sound" in the night that woke him up. So now we go to a walk-in closet off of our bathroom (closing three doors to get to it) that we've made as comfortable as possible. Daytime would be ideal, but that has only worked out once in the schedule. We're planning a weekend away and hope the hotel walls are thick. The funniest thing about being spanko parents is noticing a certain proclivity in one of our children. Our youngest daughter (1st grade) is intrigued by "The Lonely Doll" and self-spanks all the time in a playful manner. We've never used spanking as punishment on the kids. Since we've got 12 years until we're empty-nesters, this is something we'll have to deal with.

PK: The biggest obstacle in the spanking world is kids at home! We have done like many others - gone to the basement. Closets might also work if you have the right kind. The quiet implements are not my favorites. They hurt, and not only in the good way! We also enlisted our other friends with kids to create ‘Date Night’ when we first tried spanking years ago. We would take turns having all the kids over to one house letting the other couple have total privacy for the evening. This really worked well for a while.

I think the best thing about having kids at home is that we don’t take our time alone for granted. We plan together, then think about each other, and we savor the time we carve out for ourselves. To me, that in itself is very romantic!

Scout, if it turns out that your daughter does have spanko tendencies, I think it is wonderful that she will have parents who never make her feel strange or abnormal in her innocent play!

Padme: Being a parent can make spankings and play very difficult sometimes. Master Anakin and I try to do a date day every week. We are lucky to have his parent's be able to sit our son for a day or sometimes if we are lucky, an overnight. Then we can spend adult time together and I can get spankings. Most of our spanking time also is either late at night when they are in bed or if he is home and they are at school.

Usually the spanking play needs to be scheduled with having children.

I haven't experienced empty nest yet....hopefully many years away still. My oldest is only turning 12.
We have installed locks on the outside and inside of our doors, including our basement...this is so we can lock the door and go down and play late at night and they can't walk in on us.

Lisa: I love this question, but I think my answer is best served on my blog.

Mija: LOL! I promised myself I was going to participate in this brunch no matter what. But this is going to be a bit of a stretch since I never have had and never intended to have children.

My best contribution is that my parents apparently have been actively into spanking since I was 3 or 4. I never knew (until I found some of their books as a college student) and if I heard anything, treated it like hearing them having sex -- something I never really remembered later.

My mom said they mostly used quiet things like switches when we were small for exactly that reason. They also would sometimes play in the bathrooms with all the taps on after we'd gone to bed.

Carye: Having kids is a huge obstacle to spanking for us. We have 4 young children 8, 5, and 3 year old twins. For us, flexibility is the answer. Often times, we must rescheduling. The twins are just now sleeping in their own bedrooms. We're lucky in that ours is at the opposite end of the ranch style house from the kids. However, most times we use the garage for spankings as this is more soundproof than our bedroom. Often, both love making and spanking are interrupted by the baby monitor when one of the little ones wakes up with night terrors, or some other reason, and heads our way. Once they're back in our bedroom, they don't go till morning. It just doesn't work. It is the life we have chosen though, and we know sooner rather than later, all will be sleeping through the night and going to bed at the normal 7:30-8:00 pm. We should then have some mommy and daddy time. At least we hope so!

Often, we find the mood changes for us as well with kids. We may be in the mood early in the day, but a huge temper tantrum, break down, or sickness of one type or another just kills the drive for us. Also, exhaustion after a wild day or prior night with the kids kills it too. We've just in this last year begun to enjoy more mamma/pappa time together (OK, a few times a week). Before that, I think the nursing hormones also played a roll in killing the drive for us.

Kids do pose a rough and huge impact on both sex and spanking life. However, we work hard to work it in and it pays off with a much more relaxed mom and dad who are much more fun for the kids to be around. Our world centers around our little ones, and we don't plan on changing that anytime soon. We love them to death, and I would have had more if we could. They are the light of our lives and our biggest blessing. Come what may, we will always be there for them first, and yet never forget to take care of each other either.

Funny Brat Girl: I am an honorary single mother because I obtained custody of my niece at the age of 14. She is now 18.

I felt that the best way was to be honest with her. Whenever I scheduled to play, I made sure it was out of the home. She did ask a lot of questions at first, but ultimately, she saw how relaxed and at peace I became after a spanking.

From time to time now, she jokes around with me about how I need a spanking and how she's going to call so and so to take care of it! LOL! The best thing I ever did was tell her. I never influenced her to like it, but just be aware of it and understand that it was something that *I* liked.

All in all, I lucked out to have such a good niece. I may never have kids (because I'll hold out for the whole married thing), but at least I have her. That's more than I could've ever asked for.

Bonnie: Randy and I have been through the entire cycle. We were very fortunate in that our daughter has always been a great sleeper. When she was small, we used to play after her bedtime. As she grew older and more aware, we changed strategies. We often enlisted other parents to create the kind of “date nights” that PK described. As everyone has noted, scheduling was everything.

Now, we’re empty nesters. At first, we kind of went nuts with our newfound freedom. Since then, though, we’ve settled down into more of a routine. One might think that empty nesters wouldn’t have to schedule, but we still do. It’s all too easy to fill those hours with other activities if we don’t make time for each other.

I treasure my role as a mother. It’s been a great experience and one I’ve never regretted.

Thanks again, everyone, for sharing your wisdom and experiences.

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Anonymous said...

our 4 children have always made life interesting. my lover and i had to find creative ways to be together. as mention above play dates and sleep overs. also, i decided that we would start to date as soon as our oldest entered high school. my lover came into it kicking and yelling. but now he loves going on a date. we will be entering empty nest soon. and like bonnie said we still have to schedule things. this is almost as fun as before children. happy spanking jammin33333

emeraldeyes said...

Very interesting Brunch topic! I always wonder how CM and I will manage to carry on the spanking lifestyle, once we have children of our own.
So this topic really gave me some great ideas of how to keep it up, but without the kids ever knowing!

Kids will always be a problem however I think, when it comes to keeping sex or spanking private and 'quiet'.

Big hugs
Em x

Kallisto said...

Great topic, Bonnie, and interesting answers!

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