Welcome back for our seventieth Sunday spanko brunch. This week, we're going to talk about the spanker for a change. Let's examine motivation, benefits, and reasons.
In your relationship, what does spanking do for the spanker? How does he or she benefit from spankings and related activities? What is his or her primary motivation to spank?
I look forward to hearing from and about our beloved spankers. If you would like to submit a contribution to our brunch discussion, please leave a comment below, send me an e-mail, or post a response on your own blog. Once everyone has provided their thoughts, I will publish a summary of our conversation.
13 comments :
Bonnie, for us spanking was the physical manifestation of the love and trust that we had in each other.
It often helped Mel channel her energy in the direction that she wished to go, especially when she was a student.
For me it was a constant reminder of the close connection that we had for each other and the love that there was between us.
Thanks Bonnie, yet another interesting Brunch,
Warm hugs,
Paul.
We are very new to the scene.for me I have fantasized about being spanked since I was alittle girl.
this is very new to my man!!He states he knows innately he likes it but is slowly coming to terms with a behavior which completely goes against the way he has treated women all his life!!
He does say he spanks me to modify my outrageous behavior and has noted how it grounds my tendency to be a bit hyper
Congrats on #70, Bonnie. You do a great job of coming up with fresh and interesting topics. This week is a great example, love the question!
The vast majority of spankings I give are erotic or playful in nature. The sights, sounds and touching is stimulating to me. It is sexually exciting. I love the female bottom and get pleasure from spanking it. I think even the vanilla mind can grasp that concept.
Part of it too, is taking the spankee on a journey. Leading *her mind* down a path that is dangerous and terrifying... yet also exciting and rewarding. The exchange of trust that is needed to take this trip is exhilarating to me. It's a high of sorts. I think that's something the vanilla mind doesn't grasp.
Spanking, at least certain kinds... can put a period on certain negatives too. Guilt that might linger in a vanilla relationship can be ended by a spanking for example. There is also a motivational element to some spankings... which encourages better behavior, and thus happier (and healthier, in or case) lives.
So, the benefits are many in my case!
:)
Todd (and Suzy)
Even though I already had a pretty good idea what my hubby'd say, I asked him just to be sure!!! *grin*
He said that he knows spanking turns me on, which turns him on, and that he also likes to bring me pleasure, so since spanking brings me pleasure, he loves doing it!!! Plus, it always leads to great sex!!!
Of course, he added with a chuckle, there's also something to be said for the whole spanking-thing bringing out his inner caveman!!! LOL!!!
*hugs*
Paige (Tigger)
Bonnie,
Nick is away this weekend but rarely comments anyway so I will answer for him as much as I know. His willingness to indulge me in my life long fantasy had given him a wife that is passionately in love with him! Our day to day relationship has changed from pleasant roommates to lovers who enjoy talking, touching, and playing.
He has a wife who went from being luke warm about sex to being willing to try anything and everything in bed! He has a wife who threw out the flannel night gowns and sleeps in the nude as we cuddle, touch and spoon during the night. He has a wife who looks better, cares more, loves more and is happier than she has ever been in her life! If any husband has been asked by his wife to spank and he is reluctant, please, please have him read this!!
Hugs,
PK
Like Paige, I figured I’d ask the horse himself. Randy laughed at my question! He got a goofy look on his face and then said, “Well, uh, let’s see. There’s sex, and ummmm… [eyes roll skyward as if pondering deeply] What was the question again?”
So, I suppose I will have to answer. Here’s what I *think* Randy gets from our spankings.
1. A more peaceful and relaxed partner
2. A more submissive partner
3. The ability to explore and fulfill both of our fantasies
4. The perfect excuse to rub his hands all over my bottom
5. Two words: Implement collection
6. He totally enjoys being dominant
7. The chance to dress me in sexy outfits
8. Great aerobic exercise
9. His mind stays active concocting new scenarios
10. Oh, yeah… Lots of excellent sex with a very willing lover
I am speaking on behalf of CM, as blogging just isn't something he does much!
He has always made it clear, why he likes/will spank me.
He knows it turns us both on, so it is something sexual to us as well as for discipline.
He cares about me enough to show me 'the error in my ways', and I am only ever disciplined for things that hurt us/me/our relationship.
He 'enjoys' being dominant, and having the 'majority' of control in our relationship. Although if you were to ask him, he would tell you I am certainly 'head strong' and no pushover.
We have MANY spanking fantasies, so it is something which if we never had in our lives. Would leave us incredibly unsatisfied - sexually.
Lastly, I feel secure and adored when he spanks me. It shows me he loves my body, cares about what I do and gives me that ever so 'needed' attention.
He realises this, and therefore carries it out.
The list as to why someone spanks is endless to be honest, and I think the general reason is 'you like it'!
Great brunch topic...
Hugs
Em x
Spanking Xan arouses me because it arouses her and I love the feel of my hand smacking her perfect ass as she rubs and squirms on my thigh. Frankly the business about holding position is nonsense and not sexy to me. Having her squirm and buck enhances my experience. I usually start by pulling her over with her legs straddling my thigh while the bed supports her upper body for her comfort . Baring her bottom is stimulating and provides total exposure plus access with a brilliant view for me.
The erotic spanking and caressing gouges her genitals with blood delivering a hot tight union that enhances our pleasure and helps her climax repeatedly. I spank between climaxes so each one is stronger and the feel of her strong contractions is ecstatic for both of us. This morning while I was finishing with the hairbrush on her sit spots she almost climaxed again before I could enter her. We get frequent fantastic sex out of spanking. It's erotic and fun for both of us. If Xan didn't enjoy and crave being spanked I wouldn't do it.
Spanking is foreplay, fun and a way of expressing affection. We have a happier marriage because of it. It's the sex and spanking in tandem that enhances the relationship. We are too happy and satisfied to be in a bad temper. When I see her bend over I swat her playfully if I'm in range sometimes up to several dozen smacks sometimes for cause and she loves it. We both get aroused it's good fun. She stays happy, easy to get along with and a warm bottom keeps her turned on. Spanking and pleasure are linked for both of us and almost a daily occurence. As Freddie Mercury said, "Pain is so close to pleasure." By building intensity slowly it's all pleasure for her until the endorphins ware off then she sits on a pillow if necessary and likes it. Xan isn't submissive she's well spanked and well loved. She's beautiful, brilliant, sexy and the love of my life.
I don't read your blog but posted because she requested it of me. I give her everything she desires that in within my power to give that includes an abundance of spanking and paddling. Everyone should be as lucky as I am. Also everyone should own a Rose Blush paddle from Leather Thorn Paddles to keep a blush on their partners cheehs.
Hugh
I posted my response over at
http://daddyslildeviant.blogspot.com/2007/05/mbs-brunch-daddy.html
Deviant also switches... so expect her post in a bit.
To me, it's about submission. I guess I should say it's about domination, but somehow that doesn't sound right. The thrill I get is watching my wife become submissive to me.
I love the prelude. I love picking out her outfits. I love giving her instructions; where to stand, how to position herself, If she is allowed to speak or should she remain silent? I love watching her as she follows my instructions.
As for why I love the actual spanking? I've never really thought about it before. Maybe as I turn her bottom red, I am putting my mark on her, claiming her as my own. Not so showy a mark as a tattoo, but something private. I like to watch her look at herself when I am done, or watch her rub her bottom. I think to myself, "I did that to you, and you are mine."
On second thought, maybe it IS about domination.
Ian
Wow, I think I'm going to have to mull over a separate post on our blog over this one. I sense a lengthy answer surfacing!
First and foremost, it turns me on as nothing else sexual can come close to approaching. The intensity and overwhelming depth of my arousal is on a completely different plain.
Second, I've spanked women who definitely didn't want it, some who didn't know either way, some who partially enjoyed a few light swats, and ones who NEED to be spanked.
Cindy NEEDS to be spanked to keep her centered and at peace. There is a physical change in her after a spanking; a very deep calmness.
Giving a lover pleasure has always been a big turn-on for me as well. Helping them cum. Knowing that Cindy not only needs to be spanked, but in most cases enjoys it is the icing on the cake.
Although I will confess that actual punishment scolding and spanking sometimes arouses me more than giving her Good Girl ones. And since she almost always crosses over into acceptance and sub-space, on reflection she appreciates my persistence. (big smile) But that's only AFTER the spanking and during the cuddling!
Hugs,
Dave
When I do switch it's about the thrill of control. Having to make Daddy bend to my will. Seeing how his eyes light up as I pull him to the corner.
I love the sounds of it. The hypnotism in the vibrations of the spanking as they go through my arm and his bottom.
I like to watch him as I spank, his face as it contorts with each new blow.
I like to listen to him, his ragged breath, the grunts and yelps that come when the hurt really starts to set in.
There is something that makes me feel like a proud woman as I spank him. A liberating feeling, in small doses, that makes me feel like 'Hey I'm so good I've conquered the man'.
I like it for the rare pleasure it is to revers roles.
Unlike others spanking is note foreplay, per se, for us as we've not actually had intercourse. It's the main event, a release and a pleasure that brings us intimately close.
~ Deviant
Hi Bonnie,
Good question. I spank her because it makes her happy. She feels more comfortable with me and secure in our relationship because of the spanking. And to quote the old saying "If momma ain't happy, nobody is happy"! We're happy!
Papa Shrek
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