T+17 and All Systems Go

It was seventeen years ago today that I decided I wanted to blog about my love of spanking. I certainly had no expectation that I would still be doing this all these years later. But here we are.

In honor of the occasion, I would like to take a shot at answering Hermione's weekly brunch question: What do you like about spanking?

I'm sure I've responded to a dozen different versions of this question a dozen times over the years. It would be easy to say, "Everything," but that seems like a cop-out. For someone who has made spankings a cornerstone of my relationship, there are many answers. Here's what I mean:

What I Love About Spankings

That's not all, but I think it's a decent start.

Top Ten: Reasons Why Bare Bottom Spankings are Best

Whether you pull 'em down or lift 'em up, spankings on your bare bottom are simply more effective. Here are ten reasons why this fact is undeniable:

1. Unveiling - Exposing a naughty bottom as a prelude to a spanking is a wonderful ritual in its own right and has many permutations.


2. Warmth - The glowing heat generated during a vigorous spanking session flows from the spankee's bottom back to the spanker thus rewarding his efforts.


3. Exposure - The surrender of clothing represents a loss of protection, both literal and emotional. The spankee becomes more vulnerable and available to receive the lessons that follow.


4. Access - The absence of fabric begins the preparation for the celebration that follows the spanking.


5. Sounds - How can you not love the unmistakable thwack of skin slapping against skin, the crack of a landing hairbrush, or the whispered whimpers of the punished one?


6. Intimacy - Skin to skin contact builds closeness and connection.


7. Bounce - Spankers love to watch a round bottom compress with each strike and then snap back again and again


8. Colors - Pink, red, dark red, and more. The changing hues indicate a message delivered.


9. Monitoring - How better to watch for excessive damage than up close and personal?


10. Ouch - Of course spankings hurt. They always hurt and they are supposed to hurt. And a spanking with zero coverage just hurts more.

A couple years ago, Randy decided that I should start wearing thong-stype panties everyday, not just when spankings were planned. Now when he lifts my skirt, every spanking is a bare bottom spanking. Once I found a comfortable style, I've come to love this arrangement as much as he does.

A Spanking for a Lazy Sunday Afternoon

A reader with whom I correspond asked me to describe a recent spanking. This is not one of those well planned and carefully executed spanking sessions you will find documented elsewhere on this blog. It wasn’t recorded, so I am telling the story the next day from memory.

Some weekends are filled with chores, appointments, and responsibilities – all the stuff we hadn’t time to complete during the week. Not so this particular Sunday. It was a precious commitment-free day off.

But not a day off from spanking! In fact, it was an ideal opportunity to enjoy our favorite aerobic exercise. Randy was up and showered and dressed, but I was still lounging around in my long pink flannel nightie. It’s not the sexiest sleepwear I own, but it’s cold where we live.

We were settled in on the living room couch, the site of numerous past spankings. We were watching a movie, but I soon lost interest in favor of a better idea. I stood up, lifted my nightgown and waited for my prince to move to the center of the couch. Bright fellow, he caught on quickly and plucked our small leather paddle from a nearby table. I arranged myself facedown across his lap in the time-honored corporal punishment position.

“So, please remind me,” he inquired with a hint of amusement in his voice. “Why are you getting paddled again so soon?”

“I’m a lazy girl. It’s almost one o’clock and I am barely out of bed.”

“Oh, yes, you are. And you definitely need to be punished.”

Despite the punishment talk, what followed was a most pleasant bottom warming. It hurt, as it should, but the pace was leisurely befitting a quiet Sunday. When I jumped in response to several quick pops in the same spot, he responded by grabbing the back of my pink thong panties. Now that I was safely secured, he continued paddling in earnest.

Did I mention that I love that little flexible, roundish paddle? It’s nice and stingy, generates a wonderful warm glow, and the smacking sound it makes as it repeatedly impacts against my bare skin is impressive. Getting spanked by my lover makes me happy.

Perhaps my favorite part of this particular spanking was that it wasn’t one of those thirty thunderous swats and you’re done variety. Randy could sense that I was into it, so he just kept going. Every so often, he would pause. I then arched my back to raise my stinging bottom toward the source of my discomfort. And on we went. It was lovely. There was no rush. Just lots of welcome whacks.

Eventually, we decided to quit for lunch. As I stood, I was confronted with the full consequences of what just happened to my bottom. It hurt more than I expected. That friendly little paddle left an impression back there. As I rubbed my chastened cheeks, they were hot to the touch and still quite sore.

“What’s the matter, Bon? Did I spank you too hard?”

“No, it was perfect. Just hurts.”

With that my lifelong lover retrieved some moisturizing lotion, sat back on the couch, and beckoned me to return. I did. He applied a generous portion of the gooey stuff all over my blazing sit spots. The lotion felt cool and good, but each touch reminded me of my posterior predicament.

The rest of the day was mellow and fun. It was just the break we needed.

So that’s how I got a Sunday spanking. I hope we do this next Sunday too.

Bottom Ten: Dastardly Spanker Deeds

Hi friends. Those of us on the wide side of the paddle know well that receiving a spanking can be dreadful or delicious or anywhere in between. Today, we will examine some of the techniques that push spankings toward the dreadful end of the scale. Here’s my bottom ten list:

10. The Wet Spanking – I don’t fully understand the physics behind it, but spankings on a wet bottom simply sting more. My husband, Randy, likes me to wear a certain pair of delicate white panties. They are translucent when dry and transparent when wet. And they have the ability to retain dampness despite repeated strikes with a favorite implement. He employs a spray bottle to ensure the effect is long lasting.


9. The Wrist Snap – It’s possible for a spanker to significantly increase the force of a swat by flicking their wrist immediately before contact. This increases the speed at which the implement end is traveling and magnifies the resulting pain proportionally.


8. The Double – One practice that Randy uses to multiply my posterior discomfort is the double. The double is two complete spankings separated by less than an hour. If I’m still hurting when the second spanking begins, that promises a long and unpleasant ordeal. Sometimes, he will tell me that I am in “double trouble.” That’s a bad one.


7. The Thigh Smack – Sometimes I kick or struggle during a spanking when I am supposed to remain still. I can’t help it. Spankings hurt. The technique that Randy uses to curb this sort of misbehavior is the thigh smack. Upper thighs have much less padding than a bottom. In my case, they are spanked much less frequently and lack the hard-earned toughness found immediately above. I question whether this is a valid spanking technique, but I must admit that it does have the intended effect.


6. The Observation - Sometimes, Randy requires me to watch my own spankings in real time. Back in the dark ages, he set up mirrors. Now, he’s gone digital and I watch on a tablet. It’s weird to see an implement slamming into my already tender flesh and simultaneously feel the full burning impact. I think witnessing the full scope of damage as it's being being inflicted makes a punishment worse.


5. The Stool – After the spanking is over, I sometimes have to serve corner time. He frames it as an opportunity for me to reflect upon my (mostly imaginary) bad behavior and think about why I was spanked (because he enjoys it). He uses the opportunity to snap pictures of my unfortunate bottom. Sometimes, though, he makes it more intense by having me sit, bare bottomed, on a small wooden stool. It’s the “naughty stool” and I feel that way when my poor butt is throbbing atop my throne of dishonor.


4. The Concentration – Randy likes to use spankings to “make a point.” One of his special methods for doing so is the concentration. That’s when he strikes the same two spots, low on my bottom, again and again throughout the spanking. He claims that he wants me to feel it every time I sit. He has no idea!


3. The Plug – This one has nothing to do with spankings, until it does. In our house, butt plugs are used exclusively during spankings. The plug serves as an unwelcome distraction. And it humbles me. The concept of being plugged might be interesting, but the reality is unpleasant, especially when someone is relentlessly beating the surrounding territories.


2. The Diaper – Spankees don’t like the legs-up diaper position. Not only are privates fully exposed, but the bottom is stretched in a way that makes spankings hurt much more. Then there’s the whole concept of an adult woman being positioned for a diapering. That’s not my kink.


1. The Inner Cheek Spanking – There are portions of the bottom that aren’t routinely spanked. Chief among these are the inner cheeks. Randy uses this technique as a change of pace – spread, smack, rinse, repeat. Unlike the center of each cheek, these inner slopes are not accustomed to such harsh treatment and mark easily. Did I mention that it hurts a lot? Definitely not fun.

Aren’t these positively mean and horrible? The ranking is mine, based upon my own experiences. But your mileage may vary.

I didn’t include techniques like leg locks or restraints or fearsome implements because I figure those are just part of getting spanked.

Are there any other nasty spanker tricks that should be added to this list?

So I take it there's no canoe

Learning Every Day

Not a day goes by when I don't acquire some useful new scrap of knowledge. For example, just last night, I discovered that, "Oh, goody," is not the expected response when Randy informs me that he intends to punish me.

Contrite as I may have been, briefly, for my unconscionable breach of protocol, I'll stand by my statement, if only because it's more comfortable than sitting.

This week marks the fortieth anniversary of our very first exploratory spanking. We've gotten better at it since then and we each now know exactly what the other likes. But we still have plenty left to learn, one swat at a time...

Fifty Reasons to Ask Your Husband or Boyfriend to Spank

One of the most popular MBS posts ever was a list entitled Fifty Reasons to Spank Your Wife or Girlfriend. According to my statistics, it has been viewed over 322 thousand times since April, 2007.

I've never worried too much about people borrowing my ideas, especially when I'm the one doing the borrowing. So, in this spirit of creative cloning, I present a new companion list directed at our interested but reluctant spankees.

1. It's an activity you can enjoy together


2. It's fun to have a secret passion


3. Many spanking implements can double as unique decorations


4. His expression of manliness is a real turn-on


5. Lots of real people enjoy this kink (look at the blogroll --->)


6. It only hurts for a while, then it's sexy!


7. It's nice to follow rather than lead once in a while


8. His hand. Your bottom. Enough said.


9. You'll never feel more connected as a couple than after a spanking and lovemaking


10. Spanking is the perfect foreplay


11. Every once in a while, it's good to be bad


12. You've been interested for years and this feeling isn't likely to go away


13. This is a way to show him how deep your trust runs


14. You can at long last share your wildest dreams and fantasies


15. He can help you bring those fantasies to life


16. If there is sex involved, he won't say no


17. You can share your discoveries and triumphs in this wonderful cyber-spanko community


18. It's fun to tease


19. You can go toy shopping together


20. Like many activities, spanking is even better when you're naked


21. The warm feeling afterward is fantastic


22. There are lots of blogs and sites to help him understand this interest of yours


23. It can be another delicious flavor of lovemaking


24. Don't you love his commanding voice?


25. Many spanking positions are also fine lovemaking positions


26. Maybe he'll ask you to sign the paddle


27. It's fun to go out on the town with a secret glow


28. Speaking of glow, a slow, sensuous spanking by candlelight is amazing


29. There's no good reason to put this off any longer


30. You can surprise him by dressing up for your spankings


31. Spanking Poker sounds like a good time


32. It's fun to check in the mirror afterward


33. Lots of cool people are into spanking


34. It's an aerobic exercise


35. Pink is so your color


36. It's exciting to unleash his inner beast


37. This can be a shared learning experience


38. That knowing look while in a public place is the best


39. When you give him that little hip shake, he'll know exactly what you mean


40. Adult spanking when done properly is quite safe


41. Spankings can be a tremendous stress reliever


42. It's fun to experiment and discover what you like


43. Snuggling has never been better


44. This innovation could open a whole new chapter in your relationship


45. Get your money's worth out of that hairbrush


46. Best pillow talk ever


47. He might surprise you in a very good way


48. Every time you sit afterward, you'll be reminded of his wicked touch


49. Those romance novel heroines always appreciated a good spanking


50. If you've read this far, you must truly want to be spanked

If you're now convinced, I invite you to browse some of our tutorials in preparation for sharing your secret. Good luck and happy spankings!

Recap: MBS Spanko Brunch for Jan 16

Our topic this week was spankings that leave one unable to sit. Here are your thoughts.

Raven Red: I have heard those words quite often, but apart from being extremely uncomfortable, I have never been in a position where I could not sit down.

I truly hope that he is going to give my comments here a miss. I am really in no hurry for him to rectify the situation. (GRIN)

Back to the sore bottom, there have been a couple of times where although I was able to sit down, I had to get up again after about five minutes.

luna: Yes I have, but not in the pleasurable, “Oh God, I just can't sit down” way. One of my first partners got a little wild with his strikes with his hand and hit my tailbone, which most know is a no-go zone. But I have a large bit of scar tissue from surgeries there, so it's especially fragile.

He laid a good one right on it and it bruised my tailbone/tore scar tissue something awful. I couldn't sit down without laying to the side for about twelve days.

I don't recommend doing that.

Xantu: I've never experienced the can't sit stage, I've definitely been to the lower oneself very carefully stage. But you know us spankos. It's kinda like that afterglow that lasts a few days to remind us of all the fun we had.

Oh, and I know that broken tailbone thing. But it wasn't from spanking, just everyday clumsy fall down stuff. Not only could I not sit, walking and standing were a pretty awful too.

Hermione: No, I have always been able to sit afterwards, albeit uncomfortably, but that's part of the fun!

I've also had a broken tailbone after colliding with a tree while tobogganing. I couldn't do sit-ups properly for years.

Justagirl: I haven't been spanked enough to know, but I have had a bruised bottom (without the accompanying tail bone injury mentioned above) that was so severe I could not touch it without crying. It was hard to wear pants. When I drove I had to lean completely to my left, It was on the right cheek! My entire right cheek turned completely black and then the most vicious colors. If a spanking ever does that, I will officially swear off spankings. But until then...

Anne: Not yet, not even close, but we are still new and exploring. I'm not sure whether I would want to experience "a can't sit for a week" spanking. Fantasizing about it is okay though. :-)

Scunge: I've been threatened MANY, MANY times, but it never has come to fruition. I did slip on the stairs once and fell on my metal toolbox. It bruised my tailbone and I didn't sit for a week. The toolbox STILL has the dent! :)

Pink: Never to that point, but I have sat tenderly for days afterward. Sometimes the second day is the worst. My skin is tight and itchy. That day may be one of the few that I'd pass on a spanking! The saying for us spankos should be, "I'll cure you of your spanking craving!"

Now THAT is a challenge to us diehards.

Make Mine Red: I have heard the words, but I have not actually experienced it. I can't say that I would want to either! (I have had a bruised tailbone before, but it was from falling off a horse.) I like a good hard spanking, but not so severe as to cause that much pain.

Bonnie-Jo: I've been at the it-hurts-to-sit-down-but-I-can-handle-it stage. The weirdest thing for me, and I want to see if anyone else has felt this, is that after a really hard spanking, and after I sit down, it hurts like crazy when I stand up. The standing up hurts much worse than the sitting (if I have been recently sitting). I think it's about the blood flow down or something. So, the threat that would really work for me is, "I'm going to spank you until you can't stand up."

Dr. Ken: My experiences are in line with most of the others. A number of the ladies who it has been my pleasure and privilege to spank may have found sitting down uncomfortable once the proceedings were over, but I've never spanked anyone to the point where they could not sit. I'm not even sure that it's possible.

I have had one lovely lady tell me, "My butt is on fire!" after a spanking, but it was said in a sort of dreamy, contented voice as I held her in my arms afterward. I don't think she was really complaining... :-)

Prefectdt: I agree with Bonnie-Jo. Although sitting on a harshly thrashed backside can be uncomfortable, I have never found it impossible. Getting up, especially after sitting on a hard surface, can be extremely painful. It sometimes feels like getting all the strokes and swats all over again, except all in one go and not one at a time.

Poppy: I can normally sit, but there have been times when I would rather not. There's also that horrid thing when for a couple of days afterward, I wince when I sit down and it takes amazing control to hide that.

I have been spanked once or twice when sitting down afterward has been very horrid indeed and I have chosen not to.

The phrase is certainly one that pushes buttons though!

Indy: The threat that I'll be sleeping on my stomach tonight has a bit more resonance for me! I've never been unable to sit down, though I agree completely with Bonnie-Jo about standing up. However, I have spent a couple nights where I woke up every time I rolled over onto my back.

Audra: I have been spanked to the point where I did not even attempt to sit for at least an hour! But I am sure if I tried it I could physically sit. After an hour I could, but it was so painful that I had lie on my side to avoid the constant throbbing!

Bonnie-Jo~ I've had that happen after a spanking with the belt once. I think it was because he bruised my muscles. This made standing painful. Its only happened once though! Thank Heavens! That would stink not being able to sit or stand! LOL

Daisy: Yes with my ex, but that was not consensual. It was a whole different ballgame, so lets skirt round that issue quickly...

Davey has said that to me, and has then carried out spankings to the point that I would much rather NOT sit if I had the choice. LOL But he then ORDERS me to sit on a hard chair and lift my feet off the floor! When he realised that I could support some of my weight with my arms pressing down hard on the arms of the chair, he began making me put my hands up too. It really concentrates the mind on the aches and any rising bruises. But, yes, Bonnie Jo is right. It hurts more when you stand again!

Anon: I was spanked once so hard that my bottom swelled to where I could not get into my pants, let alone sit...

Kingspan: I've never seen it actually happen, but that doesn't make it any less exciting to say.

Bonnie: As I mentioned, I don't recall a time when I absolutely could not sit, but plenty where I had a strong incentive to avoid it for a while. One occasion in particular stands out. Randy and I were camping early in our relationship (I borrowed details from this trip for my fictional Lynne series). Randy decided he wanted to spank me with a switch. The vigorous application of this particular branch left some impressive abrasions on my skin. They were slow to heal and really bothered me for several days. Needless to say, sitting was not fun.

Thank you, one and all, for sharing your thoughts and experiences! Please be sure to join us next weekend when we will feature a special brunch celebration.

Love Me Tender

I was a grump last night. Two members of our community (and possibly more) were recently forced to disappear. The cause was a storm of unprovoked abuse hurled by people who cannot accept alternative lifestyles or the people who practice them. It makes me mad because it's just not right.

Had I written this post last night, it would have been quite different. However, given a good night's sleep preceded by some percussive persuasion, I now have a much happier disposition. Tonight's post is a love story. The intended audience is those who do understand.

On Friday evening, Randy and I shared dinner on the patio at a popular casual restaurant. The place was crowded, but our meals were excellent. We enjoyed the band as well. After we finished eating, we felt obligated to surrender our table to the next group of hungry diners. But we wanted to stay and hear some more live music.

We found an open space behind the dining area, but facing the band. Randy leaned against a railing and pulled me back toward him. The next thing I knew, his hands were in the front pockets of my jeans and I felt his telltale ridge poking me from behind. After a quick glance right and then left, I answered his grind by rotating my hips in time with the music.

“I love how hot you look in those jeans,” he crooned.

“Just wait until they come down...” I cooed with anticipation.

“I believe I owe you a spanking.” The last word stretched an extra syllable for emphasis, but none was required.

“Tonight would be a good night to collect.” I turned in time to catch the sparkle in his eye.

With that, we decided to trade guitar music for a turn at the bongos. In the car on the way home, there was relatively little conversation. I think he might have been devising his plan for the evening. I know I was wondering what all it might entail.

Once at home, Randy wasted no time. He sat in the middle of our living room couch and guided me face down across his lap. This classic position is very comfortable for me (beyond than the obvious) and I felt as much at ease as one possibly can immediately before a spanking. He left my jeans up to begin. He expressed appreciation for the way they encased my womanly curves and he rubbed all around my bottom, my hips, my back, my legs, and my crevice. His caress made me long for more of his touch.

The first swat impacted against my right cheek. My dreamy trance was broken by the acute discomfort of a real spanking. Left. Right. Left. Right. The alternating pattern was rhythmic in an unnerving way. It hurt, as every spanking should, but the extra protection and my state of arousal shielded me from all but a rising feeling of stinging warmth. I love those sensations. I was vaguely aware that my bottom was lifting to meet his hand, though I don't recall consciously trying to do so.

Randy kissed the back of my neck as he asked me to get up momentarily. When I did, he lowered my jeans, but left my panties in place.

“That's a nice little swatch of red you've got peeking out there, Missy.”

“Yeah, spankings do that to me,” I quipped.

Randy soon began again using his stiffened hand as one would a paddle. My bottom hurt, to be sure, but only in the most terrific way. We soon settled back into a steady pace. He spanked. I flinched, or moaned, or exclaimed any of a dozen short expletives. He spanked again.

Eventually, my panties had to fall as well. When he positioned me kneeling on the seat of the couch, I imagined he was preparing to unleash a handy implement, perhaps his belt or something from the kitchen. However, rather than continuing with the spanking, my man jumped straight into lovemaking. He reached around me from either side and stimulated my nipples with touches as light as the wings of an angel. He again kissed the back of my neck. After all these years together, he knows just what illuminates my lamp.

Next came a flurry of kisses applied progressively down my spine. I shivered with delight when he reached my glowing bottom and planted one wet smooch on each side. After following up with a few well-placed swats, Randy's fingers explored my love nest. My readiness was immediately evident. The intercourse that followed was brief, but passionate. We were both so turned on, our tango could only have finished in this way.

I love my dear husband, and never more intently than when he guides me through this roller coaster of sensations. The pain amplifies the pleasure and the pleasure makes the pain desirable. Neither could be as enjoyable alone.

I challenge anyone who would criticize our lifestyles to try to convince me that the last thirty years haven't been wonderful or that spankings are somehow bad for me. I am a liberated, college-educated adult woman and I am absolutely capable of making own choices and giving my consent. I not only allow, but sometimes encourage, my husband to spank me because we both enjoy it. A married couple who express their love for one another within the privacy of their bedroom (or occasionally the living room!) seems like a mighty wholesome arrangement.

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for August 22

Our question of the week is actually five questions posed by our friend, romance writer Cara Bristol:

1. How well defined are discipline and authority in your relationship?

2. Do spanker and spankee each have specific expectations within the relationship?

3. Do both parties have equal decision-making power in matters outside of discipline?

4. Are there specific behaviors that result in a spanking?

5. What thoughts and feelings do you experience before, during, and after a spanking?

Here are your answers:

Mick:

1. We are in a never ending process of defining discipline and authority.
2. Yes, we each have expectations in this aspect of our relationship.
3. No. The dynamics go across the board. Although there are some things that she is more qualified to handle, I am ultimately in charge.
4. Yes, there are specific behaviors that will always incur a spanking for her.
5. Coming from my perspective as spanker, I'm usually angry at a behavior of hers. Then I calm myself so I can reevaluate what has happened. I'm apprehensive at insisting on a spanking because I know that she'll be upset. During the spanking, I feel relieved and aroused. Afterward, I usually feel very tender and affectionate toward her.

Bonnie:

1. Ours is a somewhat unique relationship in that we don't practice DD in any conventional sense, yet I am submissive and I yield to his authority when he chooses to exercise it. I think our lines are well defined, but he can and does move them occasionally.
2. Yes, absolutely. My husband expects me to fulfill his desires. I expect that he will accept the gift of my freely given submission, love me, handle me in a caring way, and protect me from harm.
3. Yes, for the most part. We each have general areas of responsibility outside of the bedroom.
4. Yes, but not in a punitive sense. These are more unspoken signals between us. For example, if I leave out an implement or wear a thong, a spanking will inevitably result.
5. I've written entire posts on this subject. But in summary, there's apprehension and anticipation before. While I'm being spanked, my emotions range from trying to maintain control to panic when I can't maintain control, and hopefully, to peace and release when I remember that I can surrender my control when it's to someone I trust. When the spanking is over, I typically feel relaxed, revitalized, and usually, sexually aroused. I also feel very connected to my husband. My feelings are completely exposed. Lines of communication are never more open.

Cara: Mick and Bonnie, I appreciate your comments. I do have a couple of follow up questions. Mick, you said during the spanking you feel "relieved." Relieved about what specifically? That she consented to the spanking or that the matter is out in the open?

And Bonnie, you said that during a spanking you're trying to maintain control and panic when you can't. Control over what? Control over the spanking itself or your emotions to it?

Poppy:

1. It's very well defined. I like that he is in charge and he is the kind of person that thrives on that. And yet, in another way, it's not at all defined. We so much embody the roles that we don't have to define them or set out limits and parameters because this is who we are. So, it's defined, but not explicitly explained.
2. We expect him to be in charge and me not to be. He spanks and observes and understands me, but I also have an understanding of bratting and not being mean. I take care of him too. We have normal relationship expectations as well as the more unusual ones. I do expect him to define, observe and deal with poor behaviour. He expects me to expect this.
3. As long as it soothes us both. I decide what we eat very often, but I also cook more than he does. Sometimes, if I am anxious, I need him to take over more decision making because it makes me feel secure and then he will. But as for work and general life, we are pretty equal.
4. Spanking offenses include rudeness, lies, swearing, and not doing as I am told. I am sure there are more. But it is not entirely cut and dried. It is more about him seeing where I am and what needs to be done. The way he manages me leads to me feeling deliriously happy and relaxed. I suppose it is an attitude thing. When a poor attitude takes form, that leads to a spanking.
5. Before a spanking, I may feel anything from rage to sadness to cocky disbelief to happy, silly brattiness to fear. My feelings during a spanking depend upon where I started, but it is always a journey that ends with submission. I relax and accept and the spanking ends after that point. He says he can see it and feel it when I get there. Sometimes, it takes two spanks. Other times, it takes ages and lots of horrible positions, but he gets us both back to where we need to be.

I hope that was not too long winded. These are big questions.

Mick: Cara, it's more that the matter is out in the open. Before we started this, conflicts would hang over us for a long time, but a spanking helps us put issues behind us.

As it were...

Liz Lips: I get spanked by Dan for not eating, not resting, not listening to him or any other associated self destructive behaviours I manifest.
I love and adore the developing trust and confidence I have in our marriage.

Daisy:

1. The discipline and authority are below the surface, really. For all intents and purposes, we are completely equal. But if we disagree on anything, we each state our point of view. He then either concedes that I have a point or decides that I don't! At this point, no matter how much I know(!) I am right, I will defer to him. I promised to obey, after all!
2. Yes. I expect and love the fact that he truly wants the best for me. He wants to help me develop and grow and be the beautiful person he knows I can be. He expects that no matter HOW angry I may be about something, I WILL listen to him and quiet down when he asks me to.
3. Oh yes. We are both equals, as I said. He often defers to my ideas because we both acknowledge the talents each has and we both know our individual strengths and weaknesses. We complement each other. Its like salt and pepper. They are always found together, yet each has a uniqueness that the other cannot supply.
4. The absolute reason I get spanked is failure to control my temper. I get progressively louder, and despite him warning me several times, I usually end up yelling at him in frustration/anger/sadness etc! At some point, he will issue the final warning, "Daisy, your mouth is writing a check your ass won't want to cash..." But I am usually beyond rational thought by then!
5. Beforehand, I think “Who f****** cares?” Once the spanking has been decided, this turns into "Oh, Sh**, I really blew it again...why did I DO that?”
   
   I will then 1) be sorry and try to dissuade him with big blue eyes. I will plead, beg, and employ persuasive charm. I will be really good, hoping he will forget or change his mind. I will have butterflies in my stomach that grow into pterodactyls. Even though I will try to do or promise ANYTHING to avoid the spanking, on those rare occasions when it HASNT taken place, I felt cheated, bereft, and even disappointed! or 2) maintain a stoic, wounded/angry silence. This continues during much of the spanking, until I reach a point where I realise he was right. He KNOWS, without a word being spoken, when I have reached that point.
   
   Afterward, my anger melts into oblivion and I feel safe, loved, at peace, grounded, nurtured. We cuddle and I snuggle into his strength. We are often both emotionally exhausted, and we may both drift off to sleep...

At this point I should tell you I answered as though it were a punishment spanking;. There are so many other sorts, including maintenance, good girl, erotic, etc, and the feelings then are so different! ;)

Bonnie: Cara, during the course of a spanking, I struggle to maintain control over myself, my reactions to the pain I am feeling, my racing thoughts, and my surging emotions. I want to be stoic. I want to feel as though I can take it all.

Fortunately, Randy knows that we can't realize the many benefits of a hard spanking until he pushes me well beyond this threshold. I have to let go, to relax, to accept his gift, and to fully submit. As much as I may need to reach this serene place, it's very natural to try to resist processing the pain.

When I finally capitulate within my own mind, I embrace the pain and allow it to wash over me. My body is now his to enjoy as he chooses. I feel euphoric and utterly compliant.

I cannot control the spanking itself, nor would I want to. My role is to accept everything my husband offers.

Cara: Daisy, thank you for the detailed, specific response! In what ways is a maintenance spanking different from a punishment spanking? A spanking is generally painful, right? So what is it about the experience that makes punishment, maintenance and erotic spankings different from each other? And is there crossover?

Elisabeth:

1. Discipline and authority are very clearly defined. We practice DD and my husband is the Dominant and I am the submissive. We have written rules, general behavior expectations, punishment/maintenance routines, etc.
2. The main expectation is that he leads and I follow. Within those parameters, we set goals as a couple and then my husband sets up rules that will help us achieve those goals.
3. Yes. We discuss "real life" issues as we always have, but with some major positive changes. We are respectful of each other. We rarely raise our voices. We walk away if we get worked up, and we both know that if we come to a true impasse, my husband will consider both sides and make the best choice for US.
4. Spanking infractions include failure to follow the rules, backtalk, rudeness, forgetting important tasks, etc.
5. I'll focus on my thoughts and feelings in the cycle of a punishment spanking. Beforehand, I typically feel apprehensive. I'm not afraid because I know he would never injure me, but at the same time, I know it is going to hurt. More importantly, I'm a little ashamed that I acted the way I did in the first place. Why didn't I think before I spoke? Why didn't I write that task down on my to do list?
   
   During the spanking, I am very focused on what's happening. I'm very attuned to the light in the room, the feel of my hips on his lap, the sound of each spank.
   
   Afterward, I am a little petulant about the fact that I've been spanked. Typically, I have to sit by myself for a few minutes, and during this time, my anger/annoyance dissipate. After my few minutes of contemplation, we cuddle and sit together and I feel any resentment melt away. This cuddle time is like a "restart" button. Whatever I did to warrant the punishment is wiped off the slate and when we rise from the bed to go about our evening, we are back to our normal happy selves and the issue is gone (though not forgotten!).
6. There isn't much crossover for me. Erotic spankings are the easiest to separate. They are in the heat of the moment and are just bare-handed (as opposed to using the paddle or another instrument). I have specific outfits for punishment and maintenance, so there is a physical/visual distinction from the outset. Maintenance is planned ahead, is much more gentle, and is simply meant to remind me of my tasks and my commitment to submission. I usually don't have to retreat and contemplate after a maintenance session, because I haven't done anything wrong. Punishment spankings are harsher, longer, and have a definite tension in the air between us that makes their purpose clear.

Hermione:

1. Ours is not a DD relationship, but my husband has the final say in matters that result in a difference of opinion. I submit to his authority, and he in turn gives my opinions serious consideration.
2. My husband expects me to respect his wishes and do whatever I can to please him. In return, I expect respect and understanding for my personal foibles that make me who I am.
3. We each have separate responsibilities for other matters, and take care of them independently.
4. Specific behaviours aren't a part of the reason for a spanking. We engage in it regularly at specific times, and it's an enjoyable activity for both of us. Our spankings are never for discipline or punishment. If I ask for one, I'm pretty sure I'll get one.
5. Before, I feel excited and apprehensive. When it starts, I almost always think it hurts too much, but I wouldn't dream of asking my husband to stop. I'll usually joke about the pain, and will protest if he takes me seriously and threatens to stop. The pain lessens and the enjoyment increases as the spanking progresses. It's up to my husband to call a halt to the proceedings. He's in charge. Afterward, I feel pleasantly sore, very warm and loving towards the one who made that soreness happen, and both exhilarated and exhausted.

Thanks, everyone, for your insightful responses!

The Beauty Treatment

Here's an amusing spanking snippet from Friday evening. When I remember to activate our little recorder device, I often pick up dialogue that I would not otherwise have accurately recalled.

I was lying across Randy's lap at the edge of our bed. The hem of my skirt was around my chest and my panties were bunched up at mid-thigh. Randy had just completed several minutes of tribute to my rounded bareness through the vigorous application of a small, firm leather paddle.

It hurt, of course. My spankings always do. But it was a warm, sweet, stinging sort of ouch, and the kind I crave every so often. The accompanying physical contact made the experience better still.

So there I was, thoroughly spanked, but in position for more if he determined that was appropriate. I didn't know at the time whether this was a break in the spanking or the beginning of foreplay.

R: Y'know, Bon, you have the perfect bottom. (He kissed me right where he had just been paddling moments before).

B: Mmmmm

R: Nature made you to be spanked. Look here (tracing with his hands). Your bottom is the place where you are the widest right to left. It's also where you are deepest front to back...

B: So I have a big butt.

R: Well, uh...

B: It's OK. I know.

R: (recovering now) These curves are just magnificent, a work of art. How could I not want to touch you and spank you?

B: Did you ever think that my big bottom could be my body's natural defense against years of spankings?

R: So that would mean... Oh! If I spank you harder and more often, you will become even more beautiful! What a cool concept!

B: Ow! Ow!

R: It's a win-win proposition.

B: That's not what I... Yeeow!

R: We could make a lot of money with this new system.

B: (now laughing and yelping both)

R: I think it only really works with hard swats.

B: Aaaaaah!

R: Your beauty is rising before my eyes.

B: Ohhhhhh...

I can assure you that I was quite “beautiful” in his eyes before the evening was concluded.

I later mentioned to Randy the upcoming male holiday, Steak and a BJ Day. He had heard of it. His comment was, “I don't need a steak.”

I think the best spankings are those that involve the element of fun.

In with the New: Fresh Decade Edition

Sometimes change can be positive. So it is with our latest batch of fourteen excellent new spanking-oriented blogs. I hope you will investigate these sites and welcome the bloggers to our community.

Accountomax's House Alicia Panettiere Feels Like Happy Giselle1980's Blog La Mujer de las Nalgas Rosas Lottie's Spanking Place Naughty Boy Percussion Chic's DD Babble Pineconeswife's Blog Rich Spankman's Adventures Satisfying Second Life Speaking Barbie The Looking Pond With this Paddle, I Thee Wed

I wish each of you a wonderful blogging experience with lots of engaging readers. If I can be of aid, you know where to find me!

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Nov 15

Our topic this week dealt with the attraction of spanking as an interest and a pastime. As we might expect, the responses varied widely.

Missy: I think the appeal of spanking is paradoxical: it's corny and nostalgic, yet adventurous and visionary. It's romantic escapism that curiously utilizes ordinary objects like wooden spoons, belts, and woodsheds and somehow imbues them with magical properties. It's exaggerated and improbable, like an opera. It's simultaneously harsh and tender. And best of all, it celebrates imagination, emotion, and introspection, like nothing else I can think of.

littleone: How does one explain what drives one to crave, need, beg for a spanking? It seems to me that it is a bit like trying to explain why I have blue eyes. It is just who I am.

KayLynn: Spanking has unmatched submissive components that produce powerful and exciting fear that I crave on levels that scare me. Nothing else incorporates every aspect of my daily motivations and passions. I'll take the three S's (Spanking, Submission and Sex) over the three C's any day!

R Humphries: It is clear from the wide variety of comments over the years at MBS brunches that spanking tastes vary from titillating erotic foreplay, through domestic discipline, role-playing, exhibitionism and hardcore BDSM. I say each to their own.

My own tastes were undoubtedly established from being a product of the “Last British Cane Generation” and the rituals that surrounded corporal punishment. As a result, I discovered a fascination with writing spanking stories. My Beloved Jojo loves theatre, drama and spanking, so role-playing comes naturally to her. This allows us plenty of opportunity to constantly ponder and create new situations, which keeps that element of our relationship lively and fun.

Besides, I was born in London and have eaten more than enough crumpets, can play cribbage like a demon, and Jojo grows the best chrysanthemums in the universe. So what else is there to ponder but the Fine Art of Spanking?

Jean Marie: Maybe my interest arose because I was never spanked as a child and fantasized about it constantly from a very early age. Maybe it's because I developed an ample, round bottom at puberty, and it has drawn attention ever since. It got pinched nonstop in Paris when I visited there. I wish that I'd had the nerve to have it caned when I visited London. Maybe it's because I gave myself hard bared butt spankings as I masturbated, and found it to be so erogenous a zone.

For a while, I wondered and worried why I was hard-wired to want to be spanked. I talked about it in therapy. I don't know why. But I crave it as fiercely as ever. It fuels my strong sex drive. And it makes me feel complete to be spanked to tears frequently, and to be playfully spanked often. It's usually our form of foreplay. It can be orgasmic. It is who I am.

Curtis: Quite simply, spanking has been at the core of my sexuality since childhood. It is the substance of my masturbatory fantasies, the only fully satisfying form of erotic play, arousing in and of itself and doubly arousing as part of sexual play. I'm a switch. As a spanker, I love the feel of a woman over my lap, enjoying and being aroused, the sting on my hand, the softness of the bottom, the changes in color and temperature, and the warmth when one rubs. As a spankee, I like the feel of the softness of a woman's lap, the feel of her hand on my bottom, the arousing sting and, in both situations, sometimes more than that. For me, it's only play, fun, sensual and erotic and skin-on-skin OTK. But over a long lifetime, it's what has moved me.

Daisy: Crumpets? Delicious and comforting. Cribbage? Exciting, fun, and challenging. Chrysanthemums? Romantic and scary (I hate the earwigs that hide inside!).

Spanking? All of these, and more!

Muffin: I love crumpets! I love crysanthemums! I don't know cribbage, but I do know spanking It's just always been a part of who I am and what I do. I desire it in waves. Sometimes, I want it a LOT, other times I don't want it at all (but still get it). It can be sexual, disciplinary, relaxing, or just fun.

Jim: Crumpets? Gifts from Hestia's fields of waving gold.

Cribbage? Hermes wagers all his gold then steals some more.

Chrysanthemums? Asclepius finds the healing power, hidden in the golden flower.

Spanking? Aphrodite sprinkles powdered gold on a smarting, martial, redness.

Why us? Because we deserved it, for being as good as gold.

Hermione: Why do we meet here to talk about spanking? Because we can!

For many of us, this preference has been a secret we have carried inside for many years. Perhaps the people around us in whom we confided were less than sympathetic, or couldn't understand, or simply didn't want to know. It's wonderful to get the secret thoughts off our chests to like-minded, supportive individuals.

Whatever my interests, I like to discuss them with people who have similar tastes. I do also discuss "crumpets, cribbage and chrysanthemums." There are online forums for pretty much everything. There is a big difference between discussing chrysanthemums with my friends or the people at work and discussing spanking. With the former, my listeners would simply be bored. With the latter, they would be sharing a very intimate part of my life, and it would definitely be a case of too much information. I wouldn't be taking a risk talking about chrysanthemums: I would be, talking about spanking.

Reading and writing about spanking has become a safe haven for me. I have said things I would never have dared to say elsewhere. I have learned so much by reading about the personal experiences of a great many others, and am constantly amazed at how similar, yet how different, we all are.

Anon #1: Why not?

Six of the Best: For me, it's a beautiful and exciting sexual experience. I like to participate in giving spankings and talking with or hearing about others who are punished or sexually turned on by the subject matter.

Spank-A-Lot: I can't speak for everyone else, but this question is one that I have pondered long and hard for many years. I haven't found the answer yet, but I have accepted my spanking interest with open arms despite the lack of a definitive explanation. For you see, my fondness for spankings has been around as long as I can remember. I still vividly remember the times when my mother brought me to her friend's place. There was only one girl my age with whom I could play. Sadly, there were only dolls, but the spanking thoughts were already present then. I guess I may never arrive at the reason why I like spanking.

Ian: As I wrote in my story, Sub White Female Seeks...

"Why spanking?" he asked.

She paused. "Well, you know, because..."

Some things in life don't need to be explained or given a reason. It just is what it is. That's what makes it special.

Diesel Diva: Spanking has been an intricate part of my sexual identification since childhood. I don't know why. But I do know that I don't want to live without it!

Anon #2: I'm not sure if my explanation really qualifies as an answer, but why do people crave chocolates? Or a fine single malt scotch? Or a Cuban cigar? It's because it is part of us. It is what we crave and part of our make up.

Em: I think the basic answer, for me, is because it's part of who I am. I truly believe that my need (and I do mean need, not desire) for spanking is hard-wired into my genetic code.

That said, each of us takes those genetics and shapes how we integrate them into our lives as often as they shape how we integrate our lives with them.

So, why do I *enjoy* spanking? Well, that list could go on and on and on. For the emotional release, the physical sensation, the personal connections, the playfulness, the submissive headspace, the sensuality, and the adventure.

In short, this one activity can be literally anything you want it to be. How fun is that?

It seems as though a lot of your readers are fans of cribbage (not to mention crumpets). Why is my head now drifting to thoughts of kinky Cribbage games with points worth spanks. Perhaps we need to start a kinky cribbage league on Yahoo!

The Cribbage reference was, until now, a kind of inside joke for Randy and me. We have had a Cribbage board for decades, but I'm not sure we've ever played by the rules. Randy fancies the board as a handy wooden spanking implement. If he mentions Cribbage, that means I will soon have a sore bottom.

Our Bottoms Burn: I don't know why I am wired to think about spanking several times a day. My fascination with it started in the first grade and has been with me everyday of my adult life. I gave up pondering why some years back. I just accept it. It's a part of me. I feel that it's no different than anything else that humans are passionate about. Like a lot of things that are sexual, it's not a choice made by us.

Anon #3: Asking "Why spanking?" to me is akin to asking "Why do you kiss your lover?" It's because it's arousing, fun and something that I enjoy!

Now, asking why spanking is arousing, fun and enjoyable is a harder question for me (and these reasons are different for everyone here). It's some combination the submissive aspect, how it builds and cements trust and the fact that I derive pleasure from the sensation of having my butt smacked. Why is that pleasurable to me? It just is. Whether it's genes, early life experience or what, I have no explanation for why I enjoy it, but I know I do! On some level, that's really all that matters. Some things don't need to be analyzed.

Scunge: Sir R and I were talking about this just this past Saturday. I told him I am so much more happier now that I have spanking in my life. This past year has been one of wonderful and exciting discovery and I can't wait to see what the upcoming years have in store for us. My family even noticed that I am so much happier since Sir R and I have been together. Of course, they have NO IDEA about the spanking side, except for a couple of my sisters and my eldest niece. My brother commented to my parents last Christmas that I just was sparkling and that R is so good for me! They will NEVER know the whole story, but they do know I am happier than I have EVER been in my life. I attribute that to finally waking up and embracing my SPANKING side. :)

Prefectdt: I was born with it. I really don't think that spanking ever grabbed my interest. It was just part of me and always will be. I have said it before and I will say it again, IMHO, it is a genetic thing. For some reason, in human evolution, it became essential for the survival of the tribe to have spankos, and here we still are.

Bonnie: I wrote a post a few years ago that I think covers most of the usual reasons why people find spankings appealing. But there is another, more pragmatic explanation. For Randy and me, spankings work. They are the cornerstone of our intimacy, our reconnection, a source of endless enjoyment, and so much more. There is no substitute for success, nor any reason to seek one.

Thanks to everyone who contributed!

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Nov 8

Our topic this week was scolding. Here are your responses.

Todd and Suzy: A scolding is usually a pretty big part of a spanking for us. In a discipline spanking situation, it's probably at least as important as the actual spanking. It's what puts spanker and spankee on the same page and allows the reasons for the spanking to be fully understand.

In a playful situation, it adds to the fun. While a 'just because' spanking can work great, having a reason, even a silly one, seems to make it better. Playful scolding allows for the spanko phrases that so many of us enjoy to be used. "We need to have a little talk about your behavior." "You've been a naughty girl." "You know what happens when you're naughty," etc., etc. Even when doing something as silly as a Spankopoly spanking, there usually is some sort of scolding involved.

Scolding can serve a practical purpose, or a playful one that builds up the butterflies in the tummy anticipation for the spankee. It's not a must, but we do like to include scolding whenever we can.

Hermione: Scoldings aren't part of our spanking rituals, because for us, spankings are erotic foreplay. Ron considers spankings a reward for good behaviour, not bad. Those spanko phrases that Todd and Suzy mentioned would be music to my ears, and I would love to hear them immediately before or during a spanking.

I do get scolded quite frequently for various things I've done or left undone. If the offense isn't too serious and I can see that Ron is only mildly annoyed, I will tell him he's absolutely right, and suggest that I deserve a good spanking. That usually makes him laugh and explain why I don't deserve one. It defuses the situation, even though he won't take me up on my offer.

Jean Marie: I can often get a "read" on how hard the spanking to come will be by the energy expended on my scolding. If it's a finger-wagging tirade, I'm not going to be able to sit for a good while.

I love to be scolded!

Poppy: I hate to be scolded, but it happens if it is a spanking for something serious.

I hate to admit this, but it makes a massive difference to me and how I feel. It takes the experience to a deeper level. It tells me that he knows me and notices me. It tells me that what I do and I how do it matters to him.

I would rather be spanked for twice as long and not scolded. But if he did not scold me, I would not think he loves me as much as he does.

Sigh

Are all women this complicated?

Anon #1: Spanking for me is purely foreplay, but adding some pretend naughtiness is fun. Being scolded in fun for a made up or silly infraction is great fun! It's a way to get in all of those key phrases I love hearing even before a single spank. I love getting those butterflies in my tummy and knowing that I'm about to get pulled over his knee. Often he can tell that I'm not listening to him as he's scolding me because I'm too focused upon what's about to happen. So I get scolded more and spanked harder! It's a wonderful, circular cycle of which I'm quite fond, as is my boyfriend, fortunately!

Scunge: If it is a discipline spanking, I ALWAYS get asked "Why are you getting this spanking ____?" After I give the correct response, Sir starts the spanking but keeps scolding and reminding me why it would be prudent to stop doing what I did. I NEED the scolding part to get into the right head space,otherwise I don't seem to be able to take the spanking very well.

Our Bottoms Burn: I was going to write something like we don't scold because spankings are erotic foreplay for us. Then I read what Hermione wrote. She said, "Those spanko phrases that Todd and Suzy mentioned would be music to my ears, and I would love to hear them immediately before or during a spanking."

Hmmmm, I had never thought about such phrases as being scolding when used in play. So yes, I guess we do use scolding. All those "Young Lady you can just get yourself over my lap right now" et al., said in play do qualify.

Becall does wilt a bit when I have her well warmed up and tell her naughty she is and what I am about to do to her.

Daisychain: The scolding, as has already been said, gets my head into the right frame of mind. I love that he cares enough about me to want to correct my naughty ways! After all, I misbehave to a) get noticed, and b) to get a spanking!
Therefore, the scolding proves that he noticed my behaviour, and that he cares. The spanking shows that he wants to have a good, well-behaved wife, and is prepared to do whatever it takes to achieve that aim.

Now, I just need to work out how to adjust the severity of that aforementioned spanking. LOL

Ronnie: A scolding (lecture) does happen and plays a very important part before and during a discipline spanking. It sets the tone and puts the spankee (me) in the appropriate state of mind. Without it, I wouldn't be able to take discipline spankings and still feel loved, receptive to the (deserved) punishment and genuinely contrite afterward.

It's also great during a fun spanking, but different sets of words and phrases are used, "You know what naughty girls get," "Come here I need to have a word with you," and that kind of thing. It adds to the fun. It gets me going too. Phrases like that aren't for discipline.

Rob: I think a scolding/lecture is very important. It reinforces the reasons for the spanking and puts both of us in the proper frame of mind as Ronnie said earlier. My spouse will sometimes make me tell her why I'm about to be punished, and then delivers the lecture during the spanking. It really does drive home the message in a way that a spanking by itself would not.

Suzanne: My husband always lectures and scolds me before and during a punishment. If he just lectures, he's annoyed, but if he scolds, then I'm in big trouble. I don't particularly like either one of these things as they make me feel worse for disappointing him. I guess that's why they're effective though. They make me totally remorseful for what I've done, which really is the point of a punishment.

Betina: I think that scolding and lecturing is a very important part of a spanking, be it for fun or the serious kind. If it's for fun, it triggers things inside me and the tone is very light and fun. Also, I often tend to backtalk a bit and earn a bit more. If it's serious, my replies are mostly "yes" and "no" or no reply at all just listening and feeling as my bottom gets warmer and I feel sorry for what I've done.

Janet: Lectures are a big part of a spanking in my house. If it is a punishment spanking, they are a huge part of the punishment. I usually hear that he is disappointed in my actions and that hurts worse then any spanking I could receive. I hate to disappoint my HOH.

I just can't get my head in the right space if there is not a lecture along with a spanking. Even during a who's-who, there are always points to be brought up and it helps me to concentrate on why this is happening.

So I guess I need those verbal reminders as well as the painful reminder that he is in charge.

Caylee: Scolding definitely plays a large role in our spankings. As a couple who practices both domestic discipline (to a point) and erotic spankings, there needs to be a firm difference between the two. Otherwise, punishment spankings are nowhere near effective, and erotic spankings wouldn't be fun. Mostly, it isn't the word choice, but the overall tone that differentiates a scolding. "Now, are we going to have to do this again?" can be both stern and playful depending upon how it's said. The reaction can be "No, sir!" or a bratty "Probably!" It all depends on the mood and reason for the spanking.

What folks were saying about scolding getting you into the right frame of mind is absolutely true in our case. Without it, a lot of the meaning goes out of a spanking, whatever kind it might be.

Katia: Sometimes he does and sometimes he doesn't. It just depends on the situation. I prefer the fun teasing ones before a GG. The term “young lady” gives me butterflies no matter who says it. :)

Prefectdt: For my own preferences, I like formalized, ceremonial type play. When the choice is mine, there is no scolding, just the execution-style play.

However, it takes two (or more) to play and if the Top involved likes to hand out a scolding, I am more than happy to play along. It is kind of fun to see how good a woman is at handing out a tongue-lashing, but she has to be aware that it will push my bratting button :)

Anon #2: L has the happy knack of being able to chasten me when I need it without resorting to reproach or blame. My most recent punishment spanking was for ordering something online and being careless about filling out the payment authorisation so we paid twice for the same item. Ironically, I had shopped around to get the best price!

He praised me first for that, saying he knew I was never wasteful or extravagant, but that I was often too abstracted and preoccupied, and that was how I made mistakes. He said this time it had only cost us $25.95, but next time the consequences could be more serious and long-lasting. I nodded dispiritedly, because now I knew what his preventative measure against 'next time' would be. He said the holidays were coming up, and I had to learn to be more attentive and accurate before then, and 'jump start your situational awareness.'

I quailed when he told me to get the paddle. I dislike the paddle, but I also understood and shared his disquiet. This was a remedy that worked for us, consoling and mitigating as no mere 'reprieve' ever could. I did as I was bidden, and without further preamble was drawn over his lap for twenty-five strokes, the amount of the over-payment. Well, at least he didn't 'round up' the 95¢! :)

Mija: There's sometimes a bit of scolding before spanking punishments, generally if Paul thinks I haven't quite gotten why what I did was wrong (or doesn't think I found it wrong enough). It's not usual though.

I have hearing problems, so there isn't much talking from him during spankings. Or maybe there is but I don't notice it.

Impish1: None at all, but as the punishment scene is erotic fodder for me, I wish it did sometimes...

Bonnie: In my definition, scolding is serious. While Randy often unleashes a flurry of words that might sound like scolding, he and I know that they are delivered for dramatic effect, as roleplay, or in jest.

Nevertheless, I appreciate those magic buzzwords. They feed my kinky desire.

Thank you all for participating. Please be sure to join us next week for a special brunch celebration!

The Spanko Tapes

This post has been literally months in the making. For the amusement of MBS readers, I recorded a conversation between Randy and me. I transcribed the discussion immediately before a spanking. It was fun and readers seemed to enjoy it.

So, I figured, why not record a spanking? Wouldn't that be even better?

As it turned out, the transcribed audio from a single spanking was fairly boring. After about five iterations, “Whack! Ow!” becomes monotonous, especially in printed format.

I needed another idea. There was some good dialogue, but these nuggets were often widely spaced. So I assembled the following series of vignettes from a number of different recordings. All of the dialogue took place while Randy was giving me a spanking. I edited ever so slightly to enhance the clarity, but the conversations are otherwise authentic.

R: What a beautiful round bottom you have

B: Ow. Thanks, I think

R: I love how it flares at the hips and kind of tucks under where it meets your legs

B: Ouch!

R: And these curvaceous crests right here...

B: If you love it, why do you hit it? Oh!

R: Because your rear looks so gorgeous painted red

B: I guess I should have expected that answer

            - - - - -

R: Do you know why I spank you hard?

B: Because if you spanked me softly, I might not notice?

R: No

B: Is it so I'll remember you fondly?

R: You're getting warmer

B: Very funny

R: I spank you hard because you deserve it

B: I deserve it? How so?

R: You soooo deserve your hard spankings

B: Why? I've been good

R: Precisely. For a woman who loves to be spanked, what better reward could there be? You totally deserve to be spanked until you can't sit

B: (silence)

R: You especially love it when I hit you with this brush. Right HERE where you sit...

B: Ouch. You're confusing me

            - - - - -

B: Eeeyow! What is that?

R: It's a paddle

B: It hurts

R: You're getting spanked. It's supposed to hurt

B: Yeah, so you say. But what is that thing?

R: Wouldn't you like to know. Hey, get back in position!

B: I just wanted to see what you are using

R: Just for that, you'll get double

B: Double what?

R: Double spankings

B: If you always decide when it's done anyway, double has no meaning for me

R: OK, then. Does this have a meaning?

B: Ack! No. Wait!

R: So do you like double? Or would you like to try for triple?

B: You're mean

R: That may be, but your bottom is bright red

B: Double mean

R: How do you feel about quadruple sore?

B: Humpf

            - - - - -

R: Your ass is simply designed with spanking in mind. It's perfect. I spank really hard and it just bounces right back

B: That's because I work out

R: No, really. I think it's like an evolutionary advantage. You are the product of centuries of spanko women

B: I don't think my mother was a spanko

R: Well maybe it was a great-aunt or something, but you have the ass genes

B: How could I inherent ass genes from my great-aunt, Mr. Science?

R: Easy, they're recessive

B: I don't even think I have a great-aunt

R: Work with me here. Nature designed you to lie across my lap

B: So did (adult daughter) get these genes?

R: We're not going there

B: She should have gotten my cast iron butt and your neanderthal sense of humor, right?

R: Obviously, I'm not spanking hard enough

B: Ow!

            - - - - -

R: So are you having fun yet?

B: Fun?

R: Yeah, you tell all your blog friends how much fun it is to get your butt beat. Are you enjoying this?

B: I don't know. Ow

R: To read your blog, you'd think this (whack whack whack!) is pretty much better than a chocolate orgasm

B: I didn't say that

R: Are you *sure* you didn't say that?

B: No, but it doesn't sound like something I would say

R: Nevertheless, you say that spankings are fun

B: Yeah, I guess

R: So, is this spanking fun?

B: Ow. Yes, it is. Ouch.

R: Are we a bit sarcastic?

B: You ask a lot of questions

R: I just want to know if you're having a good time

B: OK, I'm loving it all. All except the twenty questions that is

R: Do you really love it?

B: %#$&!

            - - - - -

So, there you have it. There's a lot more, but these snippets should provide a taste of our banter.

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Oct 4

Our topic was clever ways to ask for a spanking. Here are your thoughts.

Sara: There is the classic "Spank me" text message.

I have a friend who set up a sticker system on their fridge. Yellow means, “need increasing,” orange means, “spanking alert,” and red indicates, “meltdown imminent.”

I have emailed fun spanking postcards to my husband. Rosybottom offers some nice invitations.

I enjoy imagining him at work, opening an e-mail like that, and having to wait until he can get his hands on me! Anticipation is a very nice thing! ;)

Todd and Suzy: For Suzy, bratting is a common way, though I'm not sure how "creative" that is. Some of the more unique ways have been. These include a blog post (basically) asking for a spanking, an e-mail, and bringing home a new spanking implement. Usually, though, it's something really simple like positioning her bottom in a very spankable way or just coming right out and asking.

As for Todd, he likes to look for some sort of naughty misdeed that has been committed. Dishes aren't done (even though they're almost always done at night) and clothes stacked in the chair (they always are, LOL) are two good examples. Usually, though, it's just a matter of "come here" and then doing it.

Ronnie: I'm not sure whether this is particularly creative. I send him a picture of myself by e-mail with some naughty text added or I leave an implement out. When I know that he's due home, I dress up and position myself in a particular way.

Or I just plonk myself over his lap and tell him I need a spanking.

Hermione: If I need a proper spanking, I send Ron an email or even come right out and say so.

For some quick fun, I have a few options: guide his hands to the appropriate place, stop in front of him and bend over ever so slightly, slide my pants down to expose the target area, or hand him an implement and ask for his evaluation.

I want to thank Sara for posting the link to Rosybottom. That's a fun site that I hadn't visited before.

Prefectdt: It's been a long time since I've had a regular spanking partner, so it's time to dig deep into the memory for this one.

A light tap across the back of the head with the palm of the hand is sure to provoke a response. My favorite, though, is a letter of confession, written in the style of an eight year old, complete with misspellings and crossing outs. What you are confessing to is also a good indicator of how severe you want the spanking to be.

Tiggs: Oooh, Prefectdt sure hit on one that used to be a favorite of mine, the childlike confession letter. I still prefer e-mails when it comes to asking for a spanking, and when I think about it, being informed to expect one by e-mail is also quite a thrill, though in an entirely different way.

Dante's very creative when it comes to the actual spanking, way too creative for his own good sometimes. But as for requesting a spanking, well, I usually just bring him a toy or send him an e-mail asking if he's in the mood, or at least letting him know that I'm in the mood. Then nature takes its course. LOL

Lurvspanking: No rituals or hints are needed, just ask.

However, I did write a short story about a very creative way for a woman to ask her man for a spanking. I hope you enjoy this story.

Meg: Our cues are mostly wordless, and I usually initiate things. Sometimes, I get the paddle and leave it on his desk, on the bathroom vanity, on the couch, or on the bed. On other occasions, I walk up and hand it to him as I give him a look of pseudo-contriteness out of the tops of my eyes (I'm only 5'2" and he's a foot taller). I'm usually dressed in a short skirt and high heels, so I flip the skirt up, bend over and grab my ankles. I know that his adrenalin level is then as high as mine. Occasionally, I snuggle up to him for some vanilla stuff, then flop over his lap for a warm-up before we get to work with the board of education.

Daisy: ASK HIM? No WAY!

That spoils the "shock" of it for me. I have to "deserve" it, by misbehaving in some way. However, Dante's vouchers from last year are ready and waiting to be left about accidentally when he gets here.

Cowgirl: I need to "deserve it" also. I will not just ask. What's the fun in that? I'll "misbehave" in some fashion that I know will get me spanked. Then I try to fight Chase off and get away when he's coming after me. LOL Chase enjoys a bit of a fight and I like fighting back, so it works.

Handsdown: I must say that if I have to resort to just asking for it in plain English, it does take some of the fun out of it. So, how to get a spanking without using your words? Let’s see, I send e-mail links to my favorite spankings on Spanking Tube to get the juices flowing. I put “ha, ha” sticky notes on the things around the house I didn’t do that I was supposed to do. Since my man is OCD, I rearrange his perfectly organized shoes in the closet, I find that hilarious, actually. I put my thong in his underwear drawer. I remind him that I still didn’t make him his favorite cookies, and I leave the cookie press he bought me two years ago out on the counter. I hand scrub floors wearing only a thong. I put a whoopee cushion on his chair at the dinner table. I mimic his accent. And if all that still doesn’t do the trick, I wiggle my bare butt right in his face. Of course, all that only goes down when the kids are out of the house. LOL That’s our biggest challenge.

Imintril: I do wish there were ways I could "misbehave" and get a spanking. However, I usually have to come out and ask. No amount of bottom wriggling gets noticed. Even permission and requests that I be given spankings at random intervals, go unheeded. I like some of the ideas above for how to ask. It's always been a difficult prospect to ask for a spanking face-to-face. I want to feel some sort of inevitability about it, and that won't happen when asking that way. Perhaps an e-mail, or one of those spanking cards, earlier during the day will allow me to build up that sense of inevitability before my wife gets home. And then, mmmm, the feel of hand to rear.

Dr. Ken: I'm always more than happy to dish out a spanking, so it really doesn't take much. If it's a "good girl" spanking, just ask me or say, "I need a spanking." If you feel the need to do something to deserve it, just sticking out your tongue at me will do the trick!

Betina: I have been creative on a few occasions. Here some of my best.

In December one year, I sent him a letter from "Santa" (stamp and all) informing him that his wife had ended up on the naughty list and that the jolly fellow himself was to busy to take care of matters. In the letter were also a few hints about how to best deal with a naughty wife. Along with that, I put a new paddle in his stocking with a tag saying "handcrafted by elves."

Another was when he got a pair of new slippers for his birthday. I copied the product description and made a new one that said, "Dear customer, congratulations on your new purchase. These slippers are a quality product of which we are very proud. They are made from quality materials and have a very comfortable and flexible sole. Used properly, we guarantee that they will efficiently warm your feet, as well as your naughty wife’s bottom, for many years ahead. (namebrand) customer service.”

If roleplay is an option, I once sent a confirmation letter from a maid service and showed up late at the door in full french maid outfit. Let's just say that I didn't do that good a job and paid the price.

Have fun. It worked for me!

LU: For me, I guess I have never technically asked for it, according to RU anyway, who is right next to me. I did surprise him once. When he walked in the door, I was bent over the kitchen table in a t-shirt, and some thigh-high socks with the implements on the table next to me. If that is not asking for it, I really don't know what is. Since we are a long distance couple, there is not much chance of asking for it. I know it is coming. LOL. My bottom is a bit sore at the moment as a matter of fact.

Ms. Betty: little bunny and I have comedy night. I don't like puns. I consider most of them criminal, and some of them nearly capital.

At the same time, bunny wanted a way to playfully get "in trouble" (or danger, as we say to distinguish between play and discipline). He feels bratting is disrespectful, so he didn't want to do that. But he wanted a "safe" way to signal that his tail needed some attention.

So we came up with comedy night. When he's feeling playful he'll post a string of really bad jokes or spring one on me during a conversation.

I reward these little bits of wit with what I call "the sound of one hand clapping," which, oddly enough, sounds exactly like a ping pong paddle striking bare skin.

littleone: I am not sure I would call it "creative,"
but when the world becomes too much, when my stress levels hit boiling point, then my Sir knows the best way to right me, to plant my feet firmly on the ground, and to settle me down. He whoops my ass, and then holds me and cuddles me and lets me cry it all out.

Beki: At our house, if I want a spanking, I will hang a dish towel from the handle of the upper cabinets in our kitchen. Once I thoughtlessly looped a hand towel through the handle of a drawer. Apparently that was close enough.

Padme: Master Anakin has left his belt out on our nightstand as a way to let me know he wants to spank me or motivate me to get something done. I usually come out and tell him when I need a spanking. I have written him blog posts about it or twittered him about it letting him know or sometimes just sent an e-mail. I've also come right out and told him that I needed it and I have gotten very good about that through the years.

There have been times when I have gotten the toys out, laid them out for him, bent my bottom over the bed, and begged him for a spanking. That works too! :)

Jean Marie: First, my boyfriend is very private, so posting here on Sundays is one way of my asking for a spanking.

Second, as I imagine others share, when I wear the schoolgirl outfit, I'm sure to get a caning, and my cheerleader's outfit always gets me a paddling.

Probably my most creative "request" was years ago when I was trying to overcome my shyness and make it as an actress in L.A. I borrowed my boyfriend's sports car, returned it without a scratch, but tearfully told him that I'd totaled it. When he ascertained that I was uninjured by whiplash, only feeling huge guilt, he spanked me for what he thought was a sound lesson. As he stood me back up, I told him that I'd made the whole thing. His jaw dropped, and I got a really sound, inspired leathering with his belt. It was one of my most memorable experiences over the knee.

Sarah Jane: My favorite is the time I waited, panties down and skirt up, bent over the edge of the couch with a strap laid next to me, for my then-partner to get home from work. My request was unmistakable!

Muffin: I don't have to ask. Mr. D is always on the lookout for a good excuse to spank me, even if the reason is, "Because it was there," meaning my backside. I have been known to bend over in front of him, or to pull down my pants, or to go over his knee. It doesn't take much provocation. He's ALWAYS willing to stop what he's doing to spank my bottom!

Kathy: I used the survey that was here a few weeks ago to tell my partner that I thought this was something we needed to add. It seems that it worked because he wants to discuss the answers I gave.

Throck: I agree with Daisychain and Handsdown that asking negates some of the shock experience that is wonderful in spanking. I like to feel like a naughty boy, caught off guard, and I don't like to ask. However, my wife, C, is rather vanilla and needs encouragement. I have sent her some blog posts and that worked very nicely once. I thought about a "naughty book" where I could record misdeeds and have it reviewed by C periodically, and get appropriately spanked. But I got mixed reviews on that idea from other spanking aficionados. There are some great ideas here that I will have to try. I especially liked Perfectdt's idea.

Anon: Because I'm in a fairly new relationship and we're still exploring what works and doesn't work for us (with spanking as well as every other aspect of a relationship), I'm still at the stage where I'll ask or suggest. I'm hoping that I can use some of these ideas in the future though, so thanks for the advice!

Bonnie: Much as Muffin described, I don't have to work very hard to ask. In fact, sometimes Randy thinks I am asking when I hadn't even considered the idea. Wearing pretty much any light-colored and snug-fitting slacks, shorts, skirt, or dress will invite his attention. In fact, just being nude works remarkably well.

When I want to ask, we have lots of signals. Setting out an implement sends the message. So does bending over in front of him. Wearing thong-style underwear is another classic. Sometimes, after a spanking, I will rub my sore bottom and say something like, “I love how that feels.” That line usually earns me a second helping.

With that said, I still occasionally bring him a paddle. There's something to be said for being clear and direct.

Thanks to everyone who contributed. I hope to see you all next week.