Sunday, August 12, 2018

You Want What?


Randy and I were watching television the other night. He was doing that annoying channel surfing thing that men seem to enjoy. He stopped on a movie channel for just long enough to hear a female character whisper, "I want you to spank me."

"Now we're talking," he declared. "Don't get your hopes up," I cautioned as I had seen the name of the movie displayed. It was Fifty Shades Darker. I've purposely avoided both the books and the films on the recommendation of friends I trust. But we were there and it was on.

After tying her wrists, the male character guided his partner down to the bed where he dramatically delivered exactly four smacks with his hand. Thirty seconds later, the woman was untied and flipped over, and they were having sex.

"What?" I exclaimed. "Four swats?" "He tied her up for that?" Randy concurred. "If you ask me for a spanking, it's going to be more than four wimpy swats." I should certainly hope so.  Maybe the real spanking was edited out for time, or more likely, perhaps there weren't any actual spankos involved with the script/storyboard.  This must be how vanilla people envision kink.

He quickly skipped to the next channel with a disgusted, "Ugh."

Later that evening, I seized the opportunity to repeat the words that had once held so much promise.  "I want you to spank me."  He did, and I can assure you that it was more that four hand swats.

Afterward, we joked that they may have fifty shades of gray, but apparently precious few shades of pink.

Sunday, August 05, 2018

Fun with Google

You've probably encountered Google Search's sometimes helpful, sometimes baffling, autocomplete feature. If you type in part of a search phrase, a number of popular alternatives are displayed below. For example, when I enter my first name, several unremarkable alternatives appear.

Suppose we try some spanko related partial queries?  Well, see for yourself...

Some of these phrases are so bizarre that they don't even need punchlines.  If you ever feel as though your life needs a bit more strangeness, I invite you to conduct your own Google Search autocomplete experiments. 

Sunday, July 22, 2018

Erica Scott Returns!

It's my pleasure to announce that our wonderful friend and spanko superstar, Erica Scott, has recently returned to blogging. Her blog, Erica Scott: Life, Love, and Spanking, is a thoughtful life journal, an insightful discussion forum, and a fun place to visit.

Erica is truly one of a kind. As described in her autobiography, she started her career as a spanking model at an age when most others have either retired or become tops. Years later, Erica remains active and is as popular as ever. Her performances sparkle with her clever snark and wit. Erica's genuine love for posterior persuasion is evident in every scene.

I invite you to welcome our dear colleague back to our blogging community.

Sunday, July 15, 2018

There's Gold in Them Thar Posts (apparently)

A reader sent me this screen shot last week.


It seems that someone wants to sell my blog at a greatly reduced price. I really wish they had talked with me first.

But what I'm really curious about is how the free shipping works.

Friday, July 13, 2018

Incredibly Personal Q&A Part V

Some of you may remember one of my correspondents named Tom who loves to ask me lots of very personal questions. In the past, I turned these queries and my responses into four popular posts. You can read them here, here, here, and here.

So here comes good old inquisitive Tom once again. My purpose in sharing this information is to provide our fellow spankos with a benchmark. The way Randy and I do things is certainly not the only way or necessarily the best way, but it's worked for us. I hope these answers will provide useful new ideas, confirmation, or topics for conversation. In many cases, I edited questions and answers for brevity.

So with further ado, let's get personal!




Q81. Do you like knowing that you are scheduled to be spanked every week.

A81. Yes, I do. I think about it a lot in advance and the anticipation is fun. There is also something reassuring about knowing that, barring some catastrophe, we will have our intimate time.

Q82. What color bra are you wearing. How many rows of hooks are there in the back?

A82. It's peach colored and two.

Q83. Do you ever put on your bra backwards, hook it, twist it around and then put your arms through the straps?

A83. Yes.

Q84. Do you ever do the trick where you remove your bra without taking off your top first?

A84. I guess we're talking about bras this time instead of panties. Yes.

Q85. What do you think about transgender people?

A85. I think about them as people first and transgender second. Everyone should have the right to define themselves.

Q86. Do you consider yourself a "girly girl?"

A86. I'm not sure I understand what that means in today's world. I'm female and I wear dresses, so maybe I qualify.

Q87. You've described yourself as a small woman with a big bottom. How do you think your life would be different if you had a small bottom instead?

A87. My first thought was that it shouldn't make any difference. However, Randy freely admits that the first time he saw me, it was from behind and he knew then he had to meet me. So who knows? Even now, I catch guys in public places checking me out. I doubt they are admiring my hairstyle. Sometimes I feel self-conscious, but mostly I ignore them.

Q88. Do you think that women with cellulite on their bottoms experience greater pain when spanked because of the additional surface area?

A88. I have no idea.

Q89. What is your spanking bench made of?

A89. The bench is wood held together by metal bolts. The top has a padded vinyl cover. The four restraint cuffs are a synthetic material with velcro closures.

Q90. If asked, would you present at a spanking conference?

A90. Probably not. We can't be that out.

Q91. Do you ever purposely wear clothes that show off your bottom?

A91. We have a running joke where I ask, "Do these jeans make my butt look big?" and his response is always a delighted yes. If I wore a burlap sack, I'd still have a conspicuous protrusion in back. Knowing this, I wear what feels comfortable and looks good to me.

Q92. What does it feel like to get a spanking wearing just a thong?

A72. The same as a spanking with no panties.

Q93. Do you think you would enjoy life as a spanking model?

A93. I can't say because I've never done it. This would be a better question for someone who has.

Q94. Do you hate cornertime?

A94. Yes and no. The last thing I want to do immediately after a spanking is stand with my nose in a corner while Randy snaps embarrassing pictures of my throbbing bottom. However, there's a submissive element to it that turns me on and gets me primed for what happens next.

Q95. Will you do anything Randy tells you?

A95. No. I always have a choice.

Q96. You've talked about having a punishment fetish. Can you talk about that?

A96. I love love love traditional corporal punishment scenarios and discipline rituals. For whatever reason, this presses my buttons like nothing else. When Randy uses that authority figure voice and commands me to lift my skirt and get over his lap, my heart does flip flops. When I am fully in that headspace, I am ready to accept almost anything.

I have no interest in real discipline because I never want to do things that are wrong or hurt someone's feelings or disappoint anyone. But that feeling that comes from a punishment is one I relish.

Q97. Do you ever get spankings in the morning?

A97. Sure, it happens. Typically, it's on the relatively rare weekend day when we both have a chance to sleep in. It starts with touching and kissing and massaging and rubbing. Eventually, I end up over his lap as the grateful recipient of a sleepy, amorous hand spanking. Lovemaking ensues thereafter.

Q98. How many spanking implements do you own now?

A98. That depends upon what you consider an implement. There are probably a couple dozen designated spanking implements like paddles, canes, crops, straps, and so forth. Add to that a lesser number of pervertibles such as hairbrushes, wooden spoons, cutting boards, and belts. There are enough of both types that Randy doesn't have to search when he decides to beat my bottom.

Q99. Can you have an orgasm without getting a spanking?

A99. Yes, but it's not as fun.

Q100. You say that spankings make you happy. Do more spankings make you happier?

A100. I think so, at least within any practical bounds. We have other real life commitments that limit our time together. Our energy is finite. But we make the best of our opportunities.



That's all, at least for now. I hope you enjoyed learning more about me than you ever thought you wanted to know.

Sunday, July 08, 2018

Bonnie’s Mailbag: Midsummer Edition

It seems when I write more, you write more as well. The mailbag is again full and it’s time to share. I summarized or paraphrased some questions for the sake of clarity and brevity. I also divided one email that contained multiple questions.

Greeting: just wanted to say hello

Bonnie: Hi!

Question: Do you understand how fortunate you are? An average spanking for you would be the highlight of my life! My husband is simply not interested...

Bonnie: We are greatly appreciative of all our good fortune. As we age, we watch people around us growing infirm and leaving this life. More than ever we seek to get the most out of every day, every night, and every spanking.

Question: How long does it take for marks to disappear from your bottom?

Bonnie: It depends. In general, when you are spanked regularly, you will tend to mark less. Many times, I have no lasting marks at all, just an overall redness that fades after a few minutes. An hour later, you might see slightly darkened skin around the punished area. Sometimes, I have good residual soreness but no visible sign there was ever a spanking. I find that a little disappointing.

I have had marks that lasted a couple of days after a hard bare-bottomed paddling. This is fun in its way, but definitely a special occasion sort of spanking.

Statement: I'd love to spank you.

Bonnie: I play only with my husband. But there are women who might be interested if you start the conversation with a different greeting.

Statement: I truly like how you speak so casually about getting spanked. It’s like it’s a normal part of your life like going to the store or doing laundry.

Bonnie: I love that spanking sessions are a normal part of our lives, though I like them a lot better than grocery shopping or laundry. Those spankings help us in so many ways. When we have to miss a week, I find myself longing for that closeness.

Question: have kik or snapchat?

Bonnie: Nope

Question: Beautiful ass, May I please spank you sometime?

Bonnie: Thank you, but only my husband gets to perform that task.

Question: How can I convince my husband to spank me?

Bonnie: I wrote a tutorial several years ago that addresses this topic. Here’s a second one that takes more of a couple-oriented approach.

Offer: I see that you like to be spanked. I love to give spankings. Perhaps we can get together and help each other out.

Bonnie: I appreciate your generous offer of assistance, but I have abundant spanking help right next to me.

Question: Anal?

Bonnie: Not for you.

Question: I think I saw you ass at [shopping plaza] in [city].

Bonnie: My ass is firmly attached to the rest of me and I haven’t been there.

Question: Do you really get spanked on your butt and you take it willingly?

Bonnie: Yes, and definitely yes.

Observation: That's a very nice ass. You must work out a lot.

Bonnie: Thank you. Yes, I do work out.

That’s it for this time!

Sunday, July 01, 2018

Just the Facts

Very early in my career, I worked as a newspaper reporter. Before the internet, the latest news was printed every day on large folded pieces of paper and sold to readers. My job was to find newsworthy events and write articles about them. Most of my articles appeared somewhere in the paper. An article about the opening of a new restaurant appeared in the Food section, unless it landed in the Business section. Hard news, like a crime report, found its way to the Metro section, or if it was really big, even the front page. An editor decided which stories would run and where they would be printed.

The editor was a potbellied geezer who chain smoked cigarettes in his office. I dreaded going in there and avoided it whenever possible. Beyond the noxious smoke, he was, at least by today’s standards, a serial sexual harasser. I didn’t know anything about that, but I knew he made me feel uncomfortable when he made unnecessary comments about my body or speculated about my sex life. Yuck!

This fellow required all of the reporters to “block” our stories. Before stories were written, when they were just concepts, we would fill out a block sheet that provided the essence of the story. Smoky would use these block sheets to decide where stories would run and how much space to allocate to them. We joked in the newsroom that a lousy story with a good block sheet could make the front page.

Recalling those events, I thought it might be fun and different to present a recent spanking experience in block format.

What: A scheduled weekly spanking and sex session

Who: Randy and me

When: Friday evening, around 8pm PST

Where: In our basement, on our spanking bench

Why: Because we love our spankings and each other

Tools employed: (1) brown leather riding crop, (1) smooth pink plastic bullet-shaped battery powered vibrator, (1) tube of lubricant, (1) spanking bench with (4) velcro cuffs, (2) small pillows

Clothing: Me – (1) pink cotton t-shirt, (1) navy blue cotton thong, (2) white cotton footies
Randy – (1) pair black Dockers, (1) long sleeve white dress shirt unbuttoned at the collar, (1) pair blue cotton boxers, (2) black cotton blend socks, (1) pair black leather dress shoes

Preparatory events: As I lay on the bench, Randy inserted pillows beneath my head and torso. He then placed restraining cuffs on my wrists and ankles.

Commencement: Randy positioned himself standing on my right side rather then the left as usual. This allowed him to repeatedly apply the crop to my bottom with a short backhand stroke using his right hand. With his left hand, he caressed my most sensitive region using the toy.

Spankee Sensations: The short, swift strikes of the crop landed all over my bare bottom. They felt like sharp bee stings at first, but soon spread into an all over stinging warmth.

Intermission: Several minutes into the festivities, Randy decided that the thong was in his way and had to come down. Unfortunately, that was easier said than done. My hips are wide and I have a large bottom. Positioned as I was and strapped to the table, I was unable to assist in any meaningful way. Due to the nature of what he was doing, it was not sufficient to simply pull the panties to the top of my thighs as one might in a purely spanking scenario. Eventually, he had to release my wrists temporarily so I could lift myself.

Spankee Reaction: This spanking was an excellent blend of pleasure and pain. When the climaxes arrived, I was surprised by their intensity. Sensing my engagement, Randy stepped up the rate at which the blows fell. It was delicious.

Spanker Response: Randy kept going even well after I was spent. I appreciated his diligence, but I needed no more. I didn’t tell him because I guess I didn’t want to break the spell. He eventually inquired whether if I had had enough. He quit after I replied in the affirmative

Epilogue: After a quick clean up in the basement, we retired to our bedroom upstairs for more adult fun. Randy walked behind me up the steps and snapped my bottom with the crop several times along the way. I stopped climbing to see whether that would earn me some extra pops. It did.

One Sentence Synopsis: Bonnie is spanked frequently and she likes it a lot.

That’s our blocked story for this week. I hope it makes the front page!