March Answers

Thank you to everyone who submitted questions. I promised to answer them, so let's do it!

Fondles - Name three implements that are employed regularly (besides the hand) on your behind and rank them in order of preference.

Bonnie - The list changes over time, but I can give you a current snapshot. The most frequently used implement, by far, is a small roundish, semi-rigid leather paddle. It provides a lovely sting without inflicting any serious damage. Number two is probably our dogleg wooden hairbrush. We've had this brush for at least twenty years (in fact we own two). This is a serious implement. It hurts! Third would probably be our punishment cane. It isn't used that often, but it's definitely a memory maker.

Roz - What (non kinky/sexy) activities do you and Randy enjoy doing together?

Bonnie - Before the pandemic, we enjoyed travel, dining adventures, live theater, and concerts. We still enjoy hiking, television, and sports. And sometimes, we just talk.

Anon #1 - Do you have a spanking crush? Is there someone you would like to have spank you if there were no complications? It is just a fantasy and it could be anyone from anytime? Who would it be, how would you like to get spanked and what would the reason be?

Bonnie - Wow, I don't usually think in those terms. Spanking equals sex for Randy and me and we have a committed, monogamous marriage. With that said, there are many famous and skilled spankers whose work I admire - Keith Jones, Danny Crichton, Michael Masterson, Steve Fuller, David Pierson, and Paul Kennedy come to mind immediately, but there are undoubtedly more. Apologies to all who I didn't remember - No offense intended. The preferred method would be each spanker’s specialty. As for a reason, the best one is because we both want to play.

Anon #2 - How do you feel about random pats on your bottom? Does Randy ever just reach out and give you a good smack on your fanny? Does he ever do it in public? How does it make you feel?

Bonnie - At this point, I'm pretty much used to it. Randy touches my bottom and hips often and delights in tactile exploration of my lower curves. One might think that by now he would have a good concept of what's back there, but he still has to check it out. So yes, we have gropes, pats, caresses, and swats. He is usually more restrained in public, but not always. The only time I really object is when we are with friends. Some aspects of our relationship are better kept for us.

PK - I know you write great spanking stories and I know you're still working, but could retirement see you publishing some spanking novels?

Bonnie - First off, thank you. We expect to work for a few more years, but retirement will arrive eventually. When it does, I may write more, but those efforts are likely to be short form works rather than books. As a former newspaper beat reporter, my thoughts tend to be structured in small, self-contained units. This is the reason why blogging has been an ideal medium for me. I guess I could assemble an anthology, but I hadn’t considered that possibility before this moment. You get a gold star for a new question! *

Prefectdt - Once the present situation is over, where in Canada do you want to go most and why?

Bonnie - What a tantalizing proposition. We used to travel to Canada a lot before the borders were closed twenty years ago (through no fault of the Canadians). Now, it’s more difficult. If we could go, I would think about places like Stanley Park in Vancouver and Bouchart Gardens near Victoria. You too earn the gold star * for an original question.

Tad - What is your favorite flavour of ice cream?

Bonnie - That is another new question and another gold star * for you, Tad. I guess you already figured that it’s not vanilla and that is correct. I love chocolate in all varieties.

Liza - What movie spanking scene is your favorite?

Bonnie - There are valid many choices, but honestly, I have yet to see the perfect mainstream movie spanking. For whatever reason, one or both of the participants are inevitably portrayed as being mentally ill, or dangerously deviant, or somehow broken. Or they play it for laughs. Ha ha, look at the freaks.

I hope I live long enough to see a film or show that presents a loving, sensual spanking between two normal happy people who genuinely enjoy spending time together as a couple. Hollywood has shown all sorts of crazy stuff on the big screen. Is that really too much to ask?

Joe - Do you ever find a spanking disappointing where you felt it was just too mild and you wanted more? If so did you speak up and what happened?

Bonnie - Randy is usually quite thorough, but yes, it has happened. I am well aware that one snarky comment is all it takes to turn up the intensity. A favorite is some variation of Erica Scott’s classic line, “You can start any time you like...”

Enzo - Are there any particular words of wisdom that you have learned about spanking that you would like to share with readers/fellow spankers?

Bonnie - Find yourself. Know yourself. Accept yourself. Be yourself. Love yourself. Live the life you want. Start now. Walk into the daylight. Take a chance. Don’t miss out on another day’s joy. Don’t live a life of regret.

Rich Person - Why limit it to Canada? Maybe you could come to the U.S. and enjoy some of our wonderful locations. We live in the Northwest, and there are many spectacular places to visit: mountains, rivers, beaches. We took a boat trip up one of the rivers in Oregon that was lovely, and we went on the dune buggy tour of one of the beaches on the Oregon coast. Then, there are the redwood forests in California, and its own wonderful beaches. There are some extraordinary places back east, as well. Oh, Canada, wonderful, but maybe think about broadening your horizons!

Bonnie - Why indeed? We too live in the PNW. We are familiar with everything you mentioned and we love it all! Crater Lake is my favorite. And Cannon Beach! And Columbia Gorge. And the high desert. And Mt. Rainier. And the Eugene Saturday Market. And the Olympic rain forest. And Keep Portland Weird. And so much more. Here’s your gold star. *

Ronnie - Have you and Randy talked about retirement. How would you both like to spend your retirement?

Bonnie - We have talked about retirement a lot, especially during the past year, but we both still really enjoy our work. As you might infer from my last answer, we have no desire to move anywhere else. When the time comes, I prefer to slow down rather than stop entirely. Perhaps there’s a part time gig in my future. Randy is all-go all the time. He might never stop by choice. I don’t know what he would do with himself all day long. Nothing lasts forever, and we will inevitably leave the workforce at some point, but we’re definitely not ready yet.

Lori - Do you ever reach a point where you’ve had enough spanking?

Bonnie - Yes, absolutely. It’s just like we can decide we’ve had enough dinner or enough sex or enough television. There are always practical limits. Sometimes enough is enough and more is too much. There’s no benefit in continuing beyond that point.

Thank you for your contributions. This was fun!

Keyword Chaos: Vernal Equinox Edition

Here is a selection of search terms that people used to find this blog. Just for fun, we added some comments.

• adult spanking therapy – Are you sure about this, Professor Freud?


• animated spanking – Yeah, I get pretty animated when Randy sets my bottom on fire


• bare bottom birthday spanking – Perhaps that part could wait until after the party


• best spanking implement – Who is judging this contest?


• bonnies big bouncing bubble butt – You say that like it's a bad thing


• capsaicin spanking – That plastic tube hurts more than I expected


• cheerleader spanking stories – Caught after curfew, got paddled, rinse, repeat


• choose your own adventure spanking – All paths eventually lead to Sore Butt City


• do you spank your wife – Never, not even once


• equestrian spanking – Alice's favorite event is UnDressage


• femdom spanking positions – Attempting to spank a domme is not recommended


• flintstones spanking – Going stone age on her ass


• forty love tennis clothes – I'll bet they were surprised when they landed here


• foxtail buttplug – I guess you have to wear a skirt with this


• household spanking implements – What do you mean *I* broke the frying pan?


• how to spank a bottom – Step one: talk with the human who owns the bottom


• humiliating spanking positions – Constipated yak rarely appears in modern yoga manuals


• i want to be spanked wearing a panty girdle – For some real punishment, wear it for the rest of the day


• i want to spank my girlfriend – Fine, now what does she want?


• is sally's beauty supply open on Sunday – I guess you really need that hairbrush


• kinkiness test – I scored 100. Is that good?


• leather thorn paddles – We have one of those!


• massage and spank – Being bad never felt so good


• mister pole spanking – Are you, um, happy to see me?


• motivational spanking – A few well placed paddle whacks always gets me moving


• my spanked bottom – "Bonnie with your bum so bright, won't you be my backup light?"


• paddle my bum song – This is an actual song. I looked it up.


• playing house spanking – OK, this can be our dungeon over here


• preparing for spanking – Having your lover apply moisturizing lotion is really wonderful


• recreational spanking – The kitchen table in the RV converts to a configurable punishment bench


• robot spanking stories – Got to love AI algorithms that write porn


• sauerkraught – Is that a giant condiment for the top of the Weinermobile?


• sit spot spanking – It's one you'll remember later


• sitting after a spanking – Pillows are our friends


• smack my bottom – And call me Bonnie!


• spank for fun – Life is short, get your share of goodness


• spank my but – Why is there always a but?


• spanking benches – How many do you think you need?


• spanking board renewed – A new coat of varnish works wonders


• spanking competition – Listen to me, this is neither a contest nor a race


• spanking disney – All right, you princesses, line up!


• spanking game story – It all depends upon your definition of winning


• spanking illustrated – The swimsuit edition is our favorite


• spanking my bottom – When working from home, don't put that on your timesheet


• spanking products – There are some items that are not available at your local mall


• spanking rituals – Thank you, sir. May I have another?


• spanking robot stories – Set severity to nine and hold on tight


• spanking salon – Do I need an appointment?


• spanking stool – No, you may not collect a sample


• spanking welt – Got to love those little battle ribbons


• spanko meaning – It means exactly what you think it means


• spanko orgy – Excuse me, are those my panties?


• spankopedia – An answer to every kinky question


• spankophilia – Love, yeah, I'd call it love


• spankotology – The study of people obsessed with bottom reddening


• thong slides right up her butt – A thong fits between your cheeks, not up the butt


• wagon train spanking – Don't expect much privacy


• weight loss spanking – Spank her butt off is just an expression

That's all for this time. Keep searching and stay safe, everyone!

March Questions

Ronnie and PK remind us that March is Question Month here in the land of spanko blogs. So, I'm in if you are.

If you have a question that you would like me to answer, I invite you to enter it below as a comment. Or, if you prefer, you can email your question to me. Once I receive your questions, I will post them here, along with my responses.

As regular readers will attest, I'm up for just about any question. To make it fun, I will award a gold star (*) to any reader who poses a question that I have never answered here before. Let's see what you have!

Just When I Least Expect

Spring has finally started to arrive in our part of the world. We refer to this as the rainy season, although that’s also what we call autumn and winter.

There are some chores that are getting done now solely because there’s a pandemic and we’ve run out of better ways to amuse ourselves. Such was the case this morning. Randy and I resolved to go through a pile of boxes in our basement and separate the keepers from the discards. Some of the items belonged to our daughter when she was in college and don’t interest her now. Most of that stuff was relegated to the pitch pile. Easy enough.

The next set of boxes came from my mother’s last home. This was more challenging, especially for me. Almost every item has an emotional context. But I worked my way through with the thought that it’s just not practical to keep everything forever. Randy was helping, but at this stage, his help consisted mostly of pulling some chotsky from a box and declaring, “Hey, Bon, look at this thing!”

“Oooo, look!” There he goes again, I thought. He was intent upon showing me the latest treasure he unearthed. When I turned, I immediately recognized both the item he was waving and the look on his face. He dug out a wall hanging that had long been a decoration in Mom’s guest room. She created it years ago in her women’s art and wine group (not necessarily in that order). It was a rectangular plank, about thirty inches long, with a canvas painting decoupaged to the wood. The design was a group of flowers presented in an Impressionist style.

This was my mother’s wall art, but to Randy, it was obviously a spanking paddle. He spotted it the first time he ever stayed in that room. He even threatened to paddle me with it, but we never had the opportunity. Suddenly, opportunity was banging on the door.

“I think we need to take a break.”

“A break to bust my butt you mean?”

“Yeah. Get over the spanking bench.” He pulled our designated punishment furniture into the center of the room.

There was no sense in arguing. Sometimes, it’s just destiny. I took my position, face down on the bench, as my love fastened my wrist and ankle cuffs.

“I can’t tell you how many times I saw this and wanted use it to beat your ass,” Randy declared as he raised my skirt to unveil his target.

“Let me guess? Was it absolutely every time?” My clever observation probably didn’t improve my chances for leniency, but I was all in at this point.

My answer came in the form of a stinging swat across both of my exposed cheeks. It was clear to me from that first whack that this repurposed artwork could send a message.

As the fourth swat impacted, however, I heard an unmistakable cracking sound. It hurt, but I immediately knew it was not me who broke. Randy managed to split the board, and of course, tried to blame it on me. But I wasn’t having it.

“Damn pine. It always splits. Your ass is just too tough.”

“If my poor old hide is tough, it’s from years of you tanning it.” I felt grateful that we resisted the temptation to perform this pervertible test back when the plank hung in my mother’s house. There are some things that are difficult to explain.

Randy retrieved a crop that was conveniently hanging on the wall and finished the job. It wasn’t the spanking he expected to deliver, but I hadn’t expected to be spanked at all. So it was fine.

Eventually, we returned to the chore at hand. We might have kept that paddle, I mean wall hanging, but alas, it was split. About an hour later, Randy asked me to lift my skirt and show him my bottom. To his delight, I still had some visible marks. That lead to another vigorous spanking, upstairs this time, and the fun that follows.

Maybe tomorrow we’ll finish sorting through those boxes...

Top Five: Posts with the Most Comments

I thought it might be interesting to find the MBS posts that generated the most reader comments. Not just any posts, mind you. Some posts are designed to attract comments - LoL Days, brunches, anniversaries, milestones, and the like. We'll just skip over those. Today, we're only considering regular blog posts.

So here's our all time top five as selected by the commenters of MBS:

Number Five: A Flip of the Switch was an unusual post that seemed to surprise many MBS readers.

Number Four: 70 Practical Suggestions for Bloggers was published more than ten years ago, but it holds up better than I expected.

Number Three: A Quickie Spanking Question posed a quickie question about quickie spankings.

Number Two: What's Your Spanko Number? presented a Venn diagram designed just for spankos.

Number One: Editorial: It's Not Up to Me served up my opinion about domestic discipline critics.

As with the previous top five list, these aren't necessarily our best posts, but they were, by one measure, the most popular.

Introducing: Spanking University

Our friend, Princess Kelley May, recently launched a new series of instructional spanking videos. She calls it Spanking University and that name conveys her purpose and approach. An experienced spanking model, blogger, professional top, party organizer, and lifelong spanko, Kelley can explore her subject in depth and from every angle. I learned something that I didn't know from her first video about the OTK position.

Here's how Kelley describes Spanking University:

We’re creating free YouTube videos for spanking fetishists (and those vanillas and other-kinksters who love them) to help teach fundamental skills, advanced techniques, safe play practices, and accessibility options, as well as to help de-stigmatize kink education.

This looks like a great resource, and best of all, it's fun!     Recommended

And I love their color scheme!

Bonnie's Mailbag: Pandemic Edition

Can you believe it's been more than two years since I shared the contents of the MBS mailbag? Needless to say, it's overflowing! I have condensed a number of the questions, comments, and responses to advance the cause of clarity and brevity.

Question: Do you accept guest posts?

Response: I only rarely feature articles or stories written by guests. The reason is that I seek to present a specific tone and style to MBS readers. Other voices are welcome, but I want such posts to fit within the established framework of this blog.

Years ago, I told a reader that I would allow them to contribute a guest post. After the story was submitted, I realized that the subject matter was outside the scope of My Bottom Smarts. The author was understandably disappointed when I didn't post it. I vowed to avoid that situation in the future.

Question: I am curious why a vast majority of [video] productions are punishment in nature. I am more interested in romantic, erotic types of play.

Response: I believe that producers base their offerings upon the buying habits of their audience. You might enjoy some of Shadow Lane's videos.

Comment: I'm sorry but Im obsessed with ur butt

Response: I'm sorry it's so distracting. Maybe you could take up philately or ornithology to get your mind on something else.

Question: Are you interested in creating your own spanking fetish dating site?

Response: No, thank you. That doesn't sound like a good business venture for me.

Comment: Good evening Bethany:

I hope you and your husband have had a good weekend. I follow you and love your profile.

Response: If you don't know my name, I have to wonder how much time you spent reading my profile.

Question: Do you ever brat so your man will spank you real hard and long??

Response: That wouldn't be my usual approach, but yes, I have. With my husband, it doesn't take much provocation. Besides, it's more fun when it's his idea.

Question: Do you still have the ability to communicate with [well known former blogger]?

Response: I'm sorry. I do not. Unfortunately, many bloggers disappear without a trace.

Request: Hi Stephanie I would like to spank your bare bottom. I've been into spanking my whole life. I would also like to get a real spanking because I have been a very naughty little boy.i want a real spanking no safe words. Have been to see several pro dommes and was very dissatisfied.I would love to make videos too.if you can help me with this I would really appreciate it.

Response: Who's Stephanie, why do you want to spank her, and why are you telling me about it?

Request: Will you update the link for my [spanking] blog?

Response: Yes, absolutely. Thank you for letting me know!

Question: How do people get questions answered off of ur blog do they email them to you and then you post them for results?

Response: Yes, sometimes, but more often I just respond to your email.

Question: How did you learn to stop worrying and love the paddle?

Response: This phrase appears at the top of the right column of my blog beneath my name. It serves as a secondary tagline. These words are a variation of the subtitle to Stanley Kubrick's classic 1964 Cold War film Doctor Strangelove (or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb). Just as the concept of nuclear war was (correctly) considered to be inconceivable, so too is the notion that a sane person might love being spanked with a paddle, at least for most people. It's my obscurely humorous way of telling readers that my desires occasionally wander outside the usual norms.

Question: Have you ever been spanked while wearing a butt-plug tail? If not, would you do it if Randy asked you?

Response: No and yes.

Request: Hello I am looking for a sub that wants to be trained and learn under my guidance??? Please apply if interested?

Response: Why all the question marks? Are you maybe not so sure that's what you really want?

Question: Will you review my book?

Response: I must respectfully decline. I don't always have time to read entire books within a reasonable review period. Also, this arrangement potentially places me in a difficult position. If I didn't like a book, I wouldn't want to trash it (not my style), but I couldn't in good conscience plug it either just because the author sent me a free copy. MBS readers are entitled to my honest reactions. I have reviewed books for a few long time friends, but in those cases, I was fairly certain that I would find plenty to enjoy in their writing.

Question: I have a severe spanking fetish but my wife finds it strange. I want to discuss it with her but am really nervous. How do I broach this with her? Is there away to approach a woman about this without freaking her out?

Response: I wrote a tutorial on this subject that may contain some useful thoughts. You didn't mention whether you want to ask your wife to be the spanker or the spankee. Some vanilla partners are willing to assume the role of spanker, but rarely will they consent to be spanked. The latter request, if pushed, could damage your relationship.

Question: Tell me what it feels like to be caned

Response: It makes my bottom hurt.

Question: I am interested in is seeing [videos of] older women being spanked by much younger men. If you have an idea how to find this I would be so thankful.

Response: I agree that the content you seek is fairly scarce. This is primarily because most female spankees working in commercial video either retire relatively young or become exclusively tops. I strongly recommend Erica Scott's work. She is a brilliant, beautiful, experienced spanking model. Erica's spankers are exclusively male and often younger. Clare Fonda is a switch who appears mostly with women. However, I recall seeing at least one scene with a younger male spanker. Beyond that, you might try searching sites like Spankingtube. They have some amateur videos that might fit the bill. For photographs, you may like a blog named Spanking the Mature Woman.

There are lots of us older women who get our share of spankings, but unfortunately this population is underrepresented in commercial videos.

Question: Have you ever been hit so hard with a paddle on your ass that it took your breath away?

Response: Yes, that's definitely happened. Heavy wooden sorority style paddles strike with an intensity that is unlike any other spanking implement. At this point, I shouldn't be surprised, but I am.

Question: Why do I feel so guilty for receiving a spanking?

Response: I'm not inside your head so I cannot know definitively. I can only speculate. Perhaps it's because you find that you enjoy something that you were once conditioned to believe was negative. As adults, however, we can recognize that spankings don't have to be for punishment and the people who receive them are not necessarily bad (unless we like it that way!). If spankings calm your mind and rejuvenate your spirit, then this is a blessing to be cherished.

Comment: Randy is a very lucky guy to have found a good spanko partner like you.

Response: I hear this comment a lot and I imagine Randy would agree. But I always think, "What about me?" I talk regularly with women who wish they could find a good partner who would spank them. This street runs both ways. I also feel very, very fortunate.

Comment: My god I need to touch that butt

Response: You and your diety are just going to have to find some other butt to touch.

Comment: You might think about a book -- you certainly have the material.

Response: I want to make my thoughts and experiences available to as wide an audience as possible. I seek to reach people out there - young and old, men and women, rich and poor, straight and LGBT+, all around the world - who have an interest in spanking. The message I share is that consensual adult spanking is a perfectly acceptable interest and activity. Whether it's erotic, disciplinary, or play, spankings can be beneficial for both parties in many different ways. I hope one day to live in a world where spankos are accepted without shame or ridicule. I am proud of who we are, and I would like others to feel that way too.

So, yes, I could write a book, but I would rather directly share my contribution with the world.

Question: Do you mind if I "borrow" a feature from your blog to use in my own?

Response: No, I don't mind as long as you don't copy my content without attribution. There isn't much in the blogging world that is genuinely new. Most of the regular features that I present have been adapted from somewhere else. I strive to make my spin on it a bit more interesting and relevant to MBS readers. It would be hypocritical to try to deny others the same opportunity.

Question: Do you ever wear panties with flower prints on them?

Response: Yes, I own some that fit that description.

Question: I am just entering into a relationship and would like your advice please. Any chance you can talk?

Response: It's a pleasure to meet you. Sure, we can talk. What's on your mind?

Comment: I read your comment to Hermione's recent question about a spanking desire or need that was far exceeded. And you wrote:

"Do I try to get him to stop? Do I try to escape? Do I just hang on and try to ride it out? While my husband is in control, I ultimately get to decide."

And I loved that last sentence! Because I don't believe in "Doms" or "submissives." How can you call yourself a "Dom" if the spankee, "...ultimately gets to decide"? The existence of "safewords" demonstrates that it is the spankee who has the real power. Do too much/too hard, she calls "STOP!" - and you stop! And that's the way it should be. So who's the real Dom...?

Response: Many people who observe our communities of kink from the outside fail to recognize this aspect of our relationships. In the case of Randy and me, it's something that we have fine tuned over the decades. Without this largely unspoken compact, it just wouldn't work.

Question: Is it true that women with big butts love spankings?

Response: No, this is a logical error known as an inductive fallacy. Bonnie is a woman. Bonnie has a big butt. Bonnie loves spankings. Therefore, women with big butts love spankings. NOT. We cannot reliably infer the preferences of hundreds of millions of people based upon a sample size of one. Each person makes up their own mind about the desirability of spankings and there is no reason to suspect that bottom size has any influence over this decision.

There's actually more, but this is plenty for now. Have a great week and please stay safe!