Sunday, February 28, 2021

Bonnie's Mailbag: Pandemic Edition

Can you believe it's been more than two years since I shared the contents of the MBS mailbag? Needless to say, it's overflowing! I have condensed a number of the questions, comments, and responses to advance the cause of clarity and brevity.

Question: Do you accept guest posts?

Response: I only rarely feature articles or stories written by guests. The reason is that I seek to present a specific tone and style to MBS readers. Other voices are welcome, but I want such posts to fit within the established framework of this blog.

Years ago, I told a reader that I would allow them to contribute a guest post. After the story was submitted, I realized that the subject matter was outside the scope of My Bottom Smarts. The author was understandably disappointed when I didn't post it. I vowed to avoid that situation in the future.

Question: I am curious why a vast majority of [video] productions are punishment in nature. I am more interested in romantic, erotic types of play.

Response: I believe that producers base their offerings upon the buying habits of their audience. You might enjoy some of Shadow Lane's videos.

Comment: I'm sorry but Im obsessed with ur butt

Response: I'm sorry it's so distracting. Maybe you could take up philately or ornithology to get your mind on something else.

Question: Are you interested in creating your own spanking fetish dating site?

Response: No, thank you. That doesn't sound like a good business venture for me.

Comment: Good evening Bethany:

I hope you and your husband have had a good weekend. I follow you and love your profile.

Response: If you don't know my name, I have to wonder how much time you spent reading my profile.

Question: Do you ever brat so your man will spank you real hard and long??

Response: That wouldn't be my usual approach, but yes, I have. With my husband, it doesn't take much provocation. Besides, it's more fun when it's his idea.

Question: Do you still have the ability to communicate with [well known former blogger]?

Response: I'm sorry. I do not. Unfortunately, many bloggers disappear without a trace.

Request: Hi Stephanie I would like to spank your bare bottom. I've been into spanking my whole life. I would also like to get a real spanking because I have been a very naughty little boy.i want a real spanking no safe words. Have been to see several pro dommes and was very dissatisfied.I would love to make videos too.if you can help me with this I would really appreciate it.

Response: Who's Stephanie, why do you want to spank her, and why are you telling me about it?

Request: Will you update the link for my [spanking] blog?

Response: Yes, absolutely. Thank you for letting me know!

Question: How do people get questions answered off of ur blog do they email them to you and then you post them for results?

Response: Yes, sometimes, but more often I just respond to your email.

Question: How did you learn to stop worrying and love the paddle?

Response: This phrase appears at the top of the right column of my blog beneath my name. It serves as a secondary tagline. These words are a variation of the subtitle to Stanley Kubrick's classic 1964 Cold War film Doctor Strangelove (or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb). Just as the concept of nuclear war was (correctly) considered to be inconceivable, so too is the notion that a sane person might love being spanked with a paddle, at least for most people. It's my obscurely humorous way of telling readers that my desires occasionally wander outside the usual norms.

Question: Have you ever been spanked while wearing a butt-plug tail? If not, would you do it if Randy asked you?

Response: No and yes.

Request: Hello I am looking for a sub that wants to be trained and learn under my guidance??? Please apply if interested?

Response: Why all the question marks? Are you maybe not so sure that's what you really want?

Question: Will you review my book?

Response: I must respectfully decline. I don't always have time to read entire books within a reasonable review period. Also, this arrangement potentially places me in a difficult position. If I didn't like a book, I wouldn't want to trash it (not my style), but I couldn't in good conscience plug it either just because the author sent me a free copy. MBS readers are entitled to my honest reactions. I have reviewed books for a few long time friends, but in those cases, I was fairly certain that I would find plenty to enjoy in their writing.

Question: I have a severe spanking fetish but my wife finds it strange. I want to discuss it with her but am really nervous. How do I broach this with her? Is there away to approach a woman about this without freaking her out?

Response: I wrote a tutorial on this subject that may contain some useful thoughts. You didn't mention whether you want to ask your wife to be the spanker or the spankee. Some vanilla partners are willing to assume the role of spanker, but rarely will they consent to be spanked. The latter request, if pushed, could damage your relationship.

Question: Tell me what it feels like to be caned

Response: It makes my bottom hurt.

Question: I am interested in is seeing [videos of] older women being spanked by much younger men. If you have an idea how to find this I would be so thankful.

Response: I agree that the content you seek is fairly scarce. This is primarily because most female spankees working in commercial video either retire relatively young or become exclusively tops. I strongly recommend Erica Scott's work. She is a brilliant, beautiful, experienced spanking model. Erica's spankers are exclusively male and often younger. Clare Fonda is a switch who appears mostly with women. However, I recall seeing at least one scene with a younger male spanker. Beyond that, you might try searching sites like Spankingtube. They have some amateur videos that might fit the bill. For photographs, you may like a blog named Spanking the Mature Woman.

There are lots of us older women who get our share of spankings, but unfortunately this population is underrepresented in commercial videos.

Question: Have you ever been hit so hard with a paddle on your ass that it took your breath away?

Response: Yes, that's definitely happened. Heavy wooden sorority style paddles strike with an intensity that is unlike any other spanking implement. At this point, I shouldn't be surprised, but I am.

Question: Why do I feel so guilty for receiving a spanking?

Response: I'm not inside your head so I cannot know definitively. I can only speculate. Perhaps it's because you find that you enjoy something that you were once conditioned to believe was negative. As adults, however, we can recognize that spankings don't have to be for punishment and the people who receive them are not necessarily bad (unless we like it that way!). If spankings calm your mind and rejuvenate your spirit, then this is a blessing to be cherished.

Comment: Randy is a very lucky guy to have found a good spanko partner like you.

Response: I hear this comment a lot and I imagine Randy would agree. But I always think, "What about me?" I talk regularly with women who wish they could find a good partner who would spank them. This street runs both ways. I also feel very, very fortunate.

Comment: My god I need to touch that butt

Response: You and your diety are just going to have to find some other butt to touch.

Comment: You might think about a book -- you certainly have the material.

Response: I want to make my thoughts and experiences available to as wide an audience as possible. I seek to reach people out there - young and old, men and women, rich and poor, straight and LGBT+, all around the world - who have an interest in spanking. The message I share is that consensual adult spanking is a perfectly acceptable interest and activity. Whether it's erotic, disciplinary, or play, spankings can be beneficial for both parties in many different ways. I hope one day to live in a world where spankos are accepted without shame or ridicule. I am proud of who we are, and I would like others to feel that way too.

So, yes, I could write a book, but I would rather directly share my contribution with the world.

Question: Do you mind if I "borrow" a feature from your blog to use in my own?

Response: No, I don't mind as long as you don't copy my content without attribution. There isn't much in the blogging world that is genuinely new. Most of the regular features that I present have been adapted from somewhere else. I strive to make my spin on it a bit more interesting and relevant to MBS readers. It would be hypocritical to try to deny others the same opportunity.

Question: Do you ever wear panties with flower prints on them?

Response: Yes, I own some that fit that description.

Question: I am just entering into a relationship and would like your advice please. Any chance you can talk?

Response: It's a pleasure to meet you. Sure, we can talk. What's on your mind?

Comment: I read your comment to Hermione's recent question about a spanking desire or need that was far exceeded. And you wrote:

"Do I try to get him to stop? Do I try to escape? Do I just hang on and try to ride it out? While my husband is in control, I ultimately get to decide."

And I loved that last sentence! Because I don't believe in "Doms" or "submissives." How can you call yourself a "Dom" if the spankee, "...ultimately gets to decide"? The existence of "safewords" demonstrates that it is the spankee who has the real power. Do too much/too hard, she calls "STOP!" - and you stop! And that's the way it should be. So who's the real Dom...?

Response: Many people who observe our communities of kink from the outside fail to recognize this aspect of our relationships. In the case of Randy and me, it's something that we have fine tuned over the decades. Without this largely unspoken compact, it just wouldn't work.

Question: Is it true that women with big butts love spankings?

Response: No, this is a logical error known as an inductive fallacy. Bonnie is a woman. Bonnie has a big butt. Bonnie loves spankings. Therefore, women with big butts love spankings. NOT. We cannot reliably infer the preferences of hundreds of millions of people based upon a sample size of one. Each person makes up their own mind about the desirability of spankings and there is no reason to suspect that bottom size has any influence over this decision.

There's actually more, but this is plenty for now. Have a great week and please stay safe!

Tuesday, February 23, 2021

Randy’s Latest Bright Idea

As I have documented often, my dear husband is a veritable fountain of reasons to beat my bottom. One might think that after all of these years, he would have exhausted this resource, but that is clearly not the case.

After work on Friday, with his encouragement, I prepared dinner while wearing nothing but an apron, a thong, and my socks (hey, it’s winter!). Mercifully, he turned up the furnace. I had little doubt that I would encounter a less merciful form of heat after dinner.

As it turned out, I didn’t even have to wait that long. I was preparing a baked dish that required twenty minutes in the oven. Randy took this as an opportunity to begin our evening together. I quickly found myself in that familiar punishment position, on the couch, face down, and across his lap. He proceeded to whack my bottom with our small roundish leather paddle. It delivers a nice sting and leaves me with glowing red cheeks. I was just starting to sync myself with his rhythm and enjoy the rising heat when he stopped unexpectedly.

“Where’s your phone?”

“Uh, I dunno. On the counter?”

“Go get it.”

“All right, but...”

“Now, get in the bathroom and take a selfie of your ass.”


“You heard me. Send your selfie to me and if I like it, your spanking can be over.”

I didn’t respond. I did, however, do as he asked, more or less. When I looked in the mirror, my bottom was quite red and indeed worthy of a picture. I made several attempts at a selfie, all with disappointing results. How do people even do that?

As I became increasingly frustrated with my assignment, I decided it wasn’t fair. Taking pictures is his job. Besides, maybe I didn’t want my spanking to be over yet. I sent him a picture of my hip with just a bit of reddened bottom visible.

I then sauntered back into the living room swishing my apron as though it were a skirt. He already had my photo up on his phone.

“Is this it?”

“Yes,” I replied in a coy voice.

“I can see you’re going to need a photography lesson. Let’s go upstairs.”

I was pretty certain that this lesson wasn’t going to cover focal lengths or aperture timings. My guess was correct. This lesson was all about motivation.

“Assume the position.” Those words gave me chills of anticipation, as they always do.

I knelt on the bed with my head down and bottom raised, ideally situated for a serious corporal punishment. I didn’t have to guess about his weapon of choice because he announced it.

“Last time, you got the little leather paddle. This time, it going to be hardwood. And next time, you’d better hope there isn’t a next time, it will be lexan.”

I was quite certain that I didn’t want that last option. Today was going to have to be the day when I learned how to take a selfie of my butt.

Randy placed the cool, smooth surface of the paddle against my left cheek. He pressed against my skin as he moved it in a circular motion. I could still feel residual sting from the previous round, but I knew that would be soon forgotten amid the assault to follow.

“So what are you going to do after I’m finished?”

“Take a selfie”

He swatted me hard several times on each cheek. The whacks left behind a burning sensation. I was officially on notice that this would be a serious spanking.

“What kind of selfie?”

“A selfie of my bottom.”

More painful swats arrived in a slow and steady pattern. I reminded myself that this could have been avoided, but that notion did little to alleviate my current predicament.

After a flurry of forceful strikes all over my posterior, I suddenly perceived a different priority.


It was the timer alarm for the oven, an unmistakable sound, even a floor away in the bedroom.

“I’ll go take it out and you go take your selfie.” I was saved by the buzz. This time, I invested a bit more effort on Randy’s picture. After several tries, I managed to use the mirror to get my entire bottom in the shot before the color faded. I sent it to Randy and put my clothes back on. The rest of me of me was cold!

I came downstairs to find my love dishing up our dinner. He said he was very pleased with my second selfie. I told him I was grateful for that as I rubbed my roasted bottom. We had tasty dinner together on the couch where this adventure began.

After dinner, we watched some TV. I lay across Randy’s lap again, but this time he massaged moisturizing lotion into my sore flesh. Eventually, he located a spot that was not sore and required no additional moisture. That felt good too. Well, one thing led to another, as it often does, and we passionately celebrated our joining.

I suppose I could order a selfie stick, but Randy would probably figure out a way to spank me with it. Maybe I’ll just stand pat, if only because it hurts when I sit!

Monday, February 22, 2021

Top Five Most Popular MBS Fiction Posts

If you follow this blog, you’ve probably figured out that I’m a stats girl. I can’t help it. I like numbers. So I was looking at the all time page counts for various posts. Some rankings seemed to be about right, but others really surprised me. You liked that? Really? I wrote that post in ten minutes.

I thought it would be fun to share some of what I learned. As a journalist, and later as a technical writer, churning out non-fiction has always been second nature for me. But original creative content requires a lot more effort. For that reason, the fictional stories and the characters who inhabit them hold a special place in my heart. Here are the five all time most popular MBS fictional spanking stories. I don’t know that these stories are necessarily the best or even my favorites. You picked ‘em.
  1. The Spanking Booth - I’ve been involved with theater for most of my life, but this is the first and only time I attempted to write a play. Why, yes, of course it’s about spanking. This 2007 one act play is set at a county fair in a small midwestern town. The lead character is a composite of strong, dedicated women I’ve known. It’s makes me happy that you “chose” this as your #1. It may not be my greatest work, but it’s a sentimental favorite.

  2. Academic Misconduct - This story was my back-to-school spanking tale. An unusual college research project yielded some fascinating results. Written in 2012, this story was my first new work of fiction after a long drought. I remember it felt good to stretch my literary legs again.

  3. Pirate’s Cove - This ranking really surprised me. Two college roommates share a cottage on the Oregon Coast over the Independence Day weekend in 1976. I wrote this story last year and I won’t give away the plot, but it’s unlike anything I attempted previously. Randy said it sounds like the storyline for a spanking video.

  4. Suite Two - This tale has an unusual history. I originally wrote it as a contribution to a charity compilation. As part of the deal, I agreed not to publish it myself for a couple of years. In 2013, I was free to post it here and I did. It’s a fictionalized version of a vacation that Randy and I enjoyed in Sedona, Arizona.

  5. The Sphere - I’m so glad that this story made the list. It’s one that I carried in my head for years and I invested a lot of time in getting the details just right. Yeah, I’m a total nerd. It was published in 2005 when MBS was less than two months old. This remains my only attempt at science fiction.
It’s fun to let someone else take the spankings every so often. I don’t know when or whether the muse will visit again, but if that happens, you can read about it here.

Friday, February 19, 2021

A Chat with Randy

We recorded this discussion a few weeks ago. I finally found some time to transcribe and edit.

My husband Randy finds this blog a source of amusement, if he reads it at all. Periodically, when I am searching for material to post, I coax him into contributing. He believes he already does plenty by delivering lots of spankings about which I can write. Anyhow, I convinced him to talk on the record about a topic of my choosing.

This conversation was lightly edited for clarity, brevity, and continuity.

B: My readers regularly hear the many reasons why I love to be spanked. Today’s question is what’s in it for you? What makes you so dedicated to our percussive pastime?

R: You mean besides getting to shtup you afterward?

B: No, that definitely counts. In fact, we’ll call it number one.

R: OK, I love the feel of your butt. That protruding double spherical shape… The flare of your hips… Smooth skin… That undulating bounce… Warm to the touch. I think this talk would go faster if you got over my lap.

B: That’s two. Let’s please press on.

R: (pondering) What do *I* get? I get to keep and actually use this incredible collection of punishment toys.

B: Three. Thank you.

R: I love the look of pure bliss, adoration, exhaustion, and desire on your face right after I finish paddling your butt. That’s something that cannot be purchased for any amount of money.

B: Good one. Four.

R: Can I be done?

B: That’s my line. No. Let’s continue.

R: Well, I know you love it more than just about anything.

B: Can you restate that in terms of your own feelings?

R: All right. It’s satisfying to me to help you live your dreams and fantasies. I know exactly how to handle a naughty girl.

B: That’s great. Five. What about your own dreams and fantasies?

R: Right. When I was a teen, I wanted nothing more than to spank an attractive woman with a big bottom built for this sort of fun. I thought I was weird and told no one. But that attractive woman turned out to be real and you were more into it to I could have ever imagined.

B: Six. What else?

R: I think the physical intimacy makes us feel closer.

B: Yes, seven. That’s one of my favorites too.

R: I don’t know if I have any more. What am I forgetting?

B: How about the feeling of dominance?

R: Yeah, that’s important. I like telling you to bend over and then you do it.

B: Eight. Can we get to ten?

R: Sheesh. OK, how about getting you to dress up in hot outfits and show off for me before I spank you. That inspires me.

B: Yes indeed. Nine.

R: Here’s ten. I love to capture all of those magic moments in audio, video, and photographs. I get great satisfaction from our “greatest hits” collection. In a way, those marvelous spanking sessions never truly end because in my mind, you’re still up there in the corner of our bedroom with pants down and hands on head showing off your magnificent, freshly punished cheeks.

B: That’s a fine list. I can use this. I know we said we were going to stop at ten, but I think there might be one more. What about your love of spontaneity and the element of surprise?

R: Oh yeah. That’s a great one. Could you hand me that paddle?

At this stage, there was little point in trying to steer the conversation back to the question at hand. So that's all there is.

Sunday, February 14, 2021

A What Crack?

My husband gets inspired from time to time. His most recent brainwave involves something called “butt crack leggings.” Yes, it's a real phenomenon. I checked it out. As the name rather crudely describes, these are ultra-tight leggings that are designed to very closely conform to the wearer's posterior curves. As you can see in the photograph (not me), it's the closest thing to being nude while still technically wearing pants. Think of it like body paint that's easier to remove.

This was a few weeks ago. Always up for a good experiment, I ordered a couple of pairs. They weren't that easy to find because several popular styles seemed to be sold out. So I was riding a fad. I wasn't sure what to expect.

On Thursday, my package was delivered. I didn't tell Randy that I ordered the leggings we discussed, but I think he hoped that I might. I was curious to see his reaction. He very enthusiastically approves of my wearing familiar, non-BC leggings. I was hopeful he would appreciate these as well.

I collected the package from the front porch when it arrived and stashed it for later. Later came after work. I put on a red and white pair under my long skirt and then visited Randy while he was at his desk and finishing up for the day. I rubbed his shoulders and kissed his face to get his attention. He spun around and stood up. He embraced me firmly and we kissed. His hand wandered, as it often does, to caress my bottom through my skirt. He immediately recognized a different tactile sensation and lifted my hem to investigate.

“Wow” he exclaimed as his inquisitive fingers explored my accentuated crevice. My man was impressed and pleased. Spankings ensued. Two that evening alone! Wow indeed. I wore the second pair of new leggings for our scheduled Friday night festivities, and they livened up our session once again.

I can endorse this new style based upon Randy’s reaction alone. Beyond that important consideration, they were stretchy and comfortable. Some of the reviews discussed tears in the fabric, but I have not seen that problem yet.

So would I leave the house wearing butt crack leggings? No, unless they were concealed beneath a skirt or tunic. There are some things that are just for Randy and me and these leggings have achieved a high position on that list.

We’ll call this experiment a success.

Saturday, February 06, 2021

Quarantine Spankings

Our formula for the surviving the current pandemic involves equal measures of precaution, luck, and morale boosters. Randy and I are very fortunate to be able to continue working from home and we’ve managed to mostly avoid confined public spaces. We have been lucky so far. This post concerns those morale boosters, which are also known as spankings.

Way back in March, we each set up our own work space. I converted our dining room into an office where I can write. Randy installed a desk in one corner of our living room where he does his work. The two rooms are adjoining so while I can see him, we aren’t on top of each other (at least not while we’re working). It’s been a pretty good setup. Early on, we discussed converting our departed daughter’s room from a guest room to an office, but decided that we like being in relatively close proximity. We use ear buds for video meetings and to listen to music so any auditory distractions are manageable.

The other advantage to this arrangement is the ease with which we can partake in those morale boosters. Almost every workday, usually around the lunch hour, Randy will text me and ask whether I need a “break.” Sometimes, I have meetings or pressing assignments, but more often than not, I respond in the affirmative.

For all of our time together, until recently, spankings were a special occasion. Even if it was just a quickie before heading out on an adventure, getting my bottom toasted was a highlight of my day and my week. This wasn’t an event that I ever thought would be or even could be routine. But here we are.

I now wear skirts most days with a thong underneath to facilitate efficient spankings. After all, our time is limited. When the moment arrives, I position myself either bent over the back of the couch or less frequently, over his lap on the couch.

Randy keeps our trusty leather paddle on a side table beside the couch. This appears to be its new home. This particular semi-flexible implement has proven to be ideal for this scenario. We learned early on that most wooden implements are too severe for daily use. This paddle is the opposite of a pervertible. It’s an object that obviously can have only one purpose. We don’t get visitors, but if we did, anyone viewing that paddle on our table would immediate recognize that it’s there because someone gets her bottom beat with it. Happily, that someone is me.

Once I am in settled into position, Randy lifts my skirt, grabs the paddle, and asks, “Ready?” After I repeat the word as confirmation, our paddling begins. He starts with moderate intensity swats and gradually increases the strength as the spanking proceeds. My bottom hurts in a stinging way, but it also feels good. I’ve recorded my vocalizations and they sound like this:

          Ow! Ouch! Ooo! Ah! Yeow! Eek! Ack! No!

I might say “no,” but that doesn’t mean I want him to stop spanking me. I have a safeword for that. It means that the strikes are now arriving faster than I can process them.

And then suddenly, it’s over. Randy returns the paddle to its place of honor, rearranges my skirt, and helps me up. At this point, I feel small and a bit disoriented. My morale is definitely boosted, but wow. He hugs me as I bury my face into his strong chest. I rub my bottom to savor the residual soreness.

Next, we usually heat and consume a quick lunch. I escape to the bathroom to refresh my makeup, fix my hair and clothing, and check for any posterior marks (alas, no marks, just a bit of redness). Within a few minutes, I am back at work, sitting on an unforgiving dining room chair because Randy filched my cushion while I was in the bathroom. But it’s OK. I spend the afternoon in video meetings hiding a hint of smile. My husband spanked me and I love him. The discomfort is sadly short lived, but the good feelings carry me through until quitting time.

We still enjoy our more choreographed spanking adventures, especially on Friday evenings, and those remain a special part of our relationship. But this new opportunity has expanded our definition of what a good spanking can be. When (if?) we return to spending our days in our respective workplaces, I will miss these lunch breaks.

Sunday, January 24, 2021

MBS Roadtrip 2021?

This fine establishment is only 160 miles away from us. When the snow melts, the temperatures rise, the days lengthen, and the pandemic recedes, Randy and I may have to visit. The photo opportunities alone make the trip worthwhile.

I picture custom chrome barstools designed to comfortably accommodate those of us with a broad base. Do you suppose I could get a free meal by offering to serve as mascot for the day? Then again, what if people there have huge bootyful curvy butts that put mine to shame? I'd feel like the little kid asking for Superman's autograph. I guess that's a risk I'm willing to take. I want to find out.

And then there's this...
I think we should talk about this first.