Sunday, January 21, 2018

Incredibly Personal Q&A Part IV

Way back in 2012, I has a long running e-mail conversation with a reader I refer to as Tom. This fellow had a lot of questions and many of them were deeply personal in nature. He was so curious, so patient, and just so sweet, that I chose to answer most of his questions as honestly as I could without outing myself. This dialog turned into three of our most popular posts ever. You can read them here, here, and here.

As you've probably guessed, Tom is back and he has more questions. Once again, I have responses. My purpose in sharing this information is to provide our fellow spankos with a benchmark. The way Randy and I do things is certainly not the only way or necessarily the best way, but it's worked for us. I hope these answers will provide useful new ideas, confirmation, or topics for conversation. In many cases, I edited questions and answers for brevity.

So with further ado, let's get personal!




Q61. We haven't seen much of you lately. Where have you been?

A61. I've been engaged in a great many activities. I'm still working full time. I have also picked up some volunteer assignments. Most notably, I have been deeply involved with a community theater company. I have also worked with young people learning about acting and theater tech.

Q62. What's your favorite color?

A62. Red.

Q63. Does it seem incongruous that your favorite color is also your safeword?

A63. I guess I never considered that. I can live with a little ambiguity.

Q64. What is your favorite style of panty?

A64. That depends. Randy loves to dress me in attractive lingerie, so I have lots from which to choose. If I am headed to work, most days I will probably wear some practical full coverage cotton briefs. I am a granny, so I'm entitled to wear them if I want. They are soft and comfortable and they (mostly) don't ride up. For the gym or working around the house, my choice is more likely a pair of high cut, high waisted briefs. These are also cotton or a cotton blend, typically in pastel colors. They provide greater ease of movement. Finally, if spanking play is on the docket, I slide into a thong. I own a remarkable number of thongs in every imaginable fabric, color, and pattern. Randy once said, as he was presenting me with more new thongs, that he never wanted to miss a spanking opportunity because all of my thongs were in the laundry. Let's just say that is not an issue.

Q65. What do you think about when you are over your husband's lap and he is spanking you with a paddle?

A65. When your bottom is being assaulted, it focuses your mind upon the very immediate here and now. The imagination can't wander far at those painful moments. Disciplinarians sometimes talk about gaining a spankee's full attention and, believe me, a briskly applied paddle can do that.

Q66. I hear some women say that they have an issue with wearing pink because it reinforces negative gender stereotypes. Do you wear pink?

A66. Yes, I do. I want to be soft and feminine sometimes. It's not all that I am, but I would never want to lose that caring, nurturing aspect of myself. I hope we can someday evolve as a society to a place where soft need not be considered the opposite of strong. I think I can be as tough as most men, but only when I have to be.

Q67. That brings us to the question of the year, #metoo?

A67. Yes, unfortunately, #metoo. I started a post on this topic around the beginning of 2018, but abandoned it when I decided it was too depressing and too off-topic for this spanking blog. I have been harassed in various ways since I was a young teen. I've been hit on by elderly men and kids who were our daughter's age. I've been groped. I've been stalked. I've been followed. I've been leered at. I've listened to critiques of my body. I've been minimized, passed over, paid less, put down, ignored, and talked over at work. There are many dimensions of creepiness and I've experienced quite a few personally. And this was vanilla Bonnie, just going through my life, not blogger Bonnie who talks about spankings and sex. So, yeah, #metoo.

Q68. So what's the answer?

A68. We need to elect and support leaders who will move us forward. Let's remember that women are a majority. If we unite and work together, we can build a better world. We must muster the courage to challenge those in powerful places to live up to the responsibility with which they've been entrusted and set a positive example for the rest of society. If they are unwilling or unable to change, then change must come without them.
Stand up. Speak up. But never give up.

Q69. So how's your love life?

A69. (laughing) OK, that might be the worst segue ever, but let's carry on. Randy and I are officially senior citizens now. As we age, there are certain changes we experience and sex is no exception. I think our appetite is still strong, but fatigue and various aches (no, no, not those aches!) sometimes derail our plans. For me, it means that a personal lubricant is a necessity. For Randy, it means there won't be a second helping. We've settled into three or four go-to positions that work most of the time. We live with these realities and happily enjoy sex at least once a week. A brisk spanking is still our foreplay of choice and it remains very effective for us.

Q70. What is your earliest spanko memory?

A70. It was very early, perhaps even before I went to school. I remember having a Little Golden storybook where one of the characters, an animal I think, was spanked OTK for some minor offense. I was fascinated and carefully studied every detail of that illustrated page in hopes of learning more. For reasons I couldn't fully grasp at the time, I wanted to be that spankee. I don't know whether this desire was inborn, but if not, it started very young.

Q71. You've said that you work as a technical writer. How have those skills helped you as a blogger?

A71. Blogging about spanking is a lot more fun, but otherwise, there are a number of similarities. In both cases, I seek to convey nuanced and sometimes complex thoughts in a simple, concise manner. There is a definite structure and pace required, though I have more freedom to deviate here. I think I am fairly organized and that was particularly essential when I was posting everyday. There's a lot of crossover.

Q72. What do you wear to work out?

A72. I'm sorry to keep saying, "It depends," but it does. If it's likely to be warm where I work out, it could be shorts and a t-shirt. If it's cold, the outer layer is probably sweat pants and a warmer top. For in between times and underneath, I have some lycra gear. I am not the hot workout chick if that's what you're asking.

Q73. Tell us about your granddaughter.

A73. Oh my. You've found my soft spot. She is a delight and the light of our lives. I wish we could see her more often. She is smart and beautiful and clever and strong. We are very proud of her as we cheer each new accomplishment. She's shaped like me (and her mother), but has Randy's sense of humor.

Q74. How do you feel about Randy's growing collection of photos and videos of you?

A74. On one hand, creating and curating this private content gives him pleasure and I support that. On the other hand, I would be mortified if relatives, friends, co-workers, neighbors, or casual acquaintances ever saw video of everything that happens to me when I am strapped to the spanking bench. He would never release them without my permission and that won't happen anytime soon.

Q75. Have you acquired a new favorite implement since we last talked?

A75. Yes, after years of discussion, we finally purchased a real punishment cane. I don't know if it qualifies as a favorite, but the big cane generates a different sort of sensation than any of our other spanking toys. It's a worthy addition to our collection.

Q76. Since you mentioned the cane, if you were a naughty schoolgirl, would you prefer to receive six strokes with the cane or four whacks with a big wooden school paddle?

A76. Oh, if I were a naughty schoolgirl... I think your question presumes this schoolgirl seeks to get away with the less severe punishment (and isn't totally into the experience like me). I would choose the cane because as painful as it is, it won't create the deep ache that lasts like swats from the big paddle do.

Q77. What is your favorite time of day for a spanking?

A77. We've maintained a Friday evening routine for many years. I think it started because that was the time when our daughter was most reliably out of the house. She's long gone now, but the tradition remains. The only downside is that we are usually tired after a long work week. But there's nothing like a good healthy bottom warming to make one feel rejuvenated. We've experimented with spankings on weekend mornings. Unfortunately, that practice tends to interfere with completion of weekend tasks. A weeknight spanking is a fun change of pace sometimes. So I guess my answer is pretty much whenever he has the paddle in his hand.

Q78. Would you ever wear a shirt with a subtle or not so subtle spanking message?

A78. Around the house, yes, absolutely. I think it would be fun. I particularly liked the Omega Tau Kappa sorority shirts that Princess Kelley sold a couple of years ago. Out in public, probably not.

Q79. Do you wax or shave your pubic region?

A79. Neither. I keep it cropped it short.

Q80. You say that you are now a semi-retired blogger. What does that mean?

A80. It means that I blog when I have the time and inclination. Blogging no longer runs my life so I can truly enjoy everything that I'm doing.



That's it. Tom actually had additional questions, but I chose twenty for this post. I hope you enjoyed learning more about me than you ever thought you wanted to know.

Wednesday, January 03, 2018

I'm Ready for My Closeup

Hello again, dear friends. So it’s 2018 and we’re still here and talking about spankings. I started a reflective post about the changes our world has seen over the past year, but abandoned it, at least for now, because it’s all just too unpleasant. That’s not why you come here. It’s not why I come here either.

And so, on to the spankings. I can report lots of jolly holiday bottom warming around here. My husband, Randy, prides himself on finding innovative variations to enhance our percussive fun. After four decades, I am still repeatedly amazed (and sore) as I discover the clever ways he has devised to light a fire in my aft section.

Last weekend, he combined two of his favorite kinks – spanking and photography. The twist was that this time, he experimented with capturing the moment of maximum impact for a variety of implements. When our regular playtime began, he described his plan. He had me remove my jeans, but let me keep my top, bra, thong, and socks. It was cold in the bedroom so I appreciated that kind gesture. At his instruction, I bent over the love ramp he had positioned on our bed. He placed his cameras (yes, cameras!) on a low chest facing my exposed target.

Randy announced that the first round of experiments would involve his hand. He’s not a big fan of hand spankings these days because he claims that my bottom is much tougher than his hand and he is not the one who is supposed to be punished. I find this statement humorous, at least until he pulls out something more serious. But a hand spanking warm up seemed like a great way to begin.

He slapped my bare bottom briskly once on each side. Then he went back to check his recorded images. After a minute or two of fiddling, his attention returned to me. More swats ensued, and more gadget tweaking. It hurt a bit, but it was a good hurt and nothing for which I was unprepared.

When he declared success, I asked if I could see what was captured. It is my butt after all. He brought the camera around to show me a shot of his hand compressing my flesh. On the slow motion camera, I watched my left cheek deform upon impact, jiggle for a moment, and then return to its original shape. It was interesting, and frankly, a bit of a turn-on to see myself get spanked. I loved the hand prints!

Randy brought out several spanking implments to further the cause of science. Like a good lab assistant / test subject, I aided in his experiments. Next up was a leather riding crop. We had seen a GIF where a woman’s bottom ripples in slow motion after the impact of a crop. He wanted to see whether he could reproduce that result. I have plenty of flesh back there with which to make waves, so we were hopeful of a positive result. Sure enough, on the first try, he made my bottom ripple like a stone tossed into a pond. Then he applied the crop several more times in search of the perfect impact shot. This stung, but it was worth it to see the results. The tip of the crop pushed in my skin much deeper than I would have thought. As he gradually hit harder, the results resembled a tsunami radiating out from the punished area.

Then we moved to wood. A short, roundish, thick hardwood paddle was next. This paddle is usually applied OTK, but that didn’t stop him. He swatted me quite a few times because he couldn’t get the shot he wanted. It seems the paddle striking my bottom obscured his view of the impact. Even relocating the cameras did not achieve the desired shot. I had the poor taste to giggle at this dilemma, so he changed strategy.

When he showed me the vintage Vermont Country Store bath brush, I knew that the fun and games were over. This long handled wooden brush is a serious punishment implement. He found it provided a very satisfactory result, both in terms of his photos/video and my posterior discomfort. Ouch. That thing is so wicked. The images explained why. The spot where the brush strikes is deeply compressed and the surrounding flesh is violently forced outward. Subsequent swats amplify and spread the effect. No wonder it leaves marks!

He concluded with the punishment cane. My poor bottom was already red and pulsating with pain by this point, but I was curious to see what the cane would do. You know, the pursuit of science and all that… I lowered my head and braced myself for the stripes to be applied. By this time, Randy had a good understanding of his equipment so my caning didn’t take very long. The strokes were hard, but they didn’t hurt as much as that damned brush. The video showed the cane digging into both of my cheeks at the same time. Then it seemed to bounce off and the skin snapped back. Each stroke left a thin, white horizontal line crossing my otherwise red canvas. These lines grew into raised ridges I could feel with my fingers.

He kissed me and thanked me for being such a cooperative subject. Clothes were shed. Adult activities ensued. In the heat of lovemaking, a troubling thought came to me. “Did you turn off those cameras?”

“Yes,” he responded. And with that, pleasure resumed.

We’ve played with video before, but never in quite this way. This was a fun adventure. Randy got his shots and I got my swats. A fair bargain I think. Next time, he says, he wants to strap me to the spanking bench downstairs. He has plenty more implements that need to be tested. Now he wants to invest in a tripod. It just keeps getting better!

Monday, December 04, 2017

Bonnie's Mailbag: Halfwit Edition

In my semi-retired blogger status, I receive email only occasionally. Most of the time, the messages are from friendly readers, both new and old, who found something they liked on the blog. I am always pleased to talk with these readers and answer their spanking questions if I can.

Once in a while, I get one of those kooky messages that our brilliant colleague, Erica, always handled so humorously. This one is so far out there, I just have to share it. I don't even have a clever response. Rather, I simply stand in awe of its bizarre inappropriateness.

I love woman getting colonscopy is the sexyest thing in the world. Do you enjoy this?



There it is, in all its perverted weirdness. Words fail.

Sunday, November 26, 2017

A Black (and Blue) Friday Spanking

This week’s lesson is don’t be late for a spanking. Readers of this blog may remember that Randy and I have a standing date every Friday evening. I call it a standing date because sitting is always uncomfortable by the time it’s over.

I had the day off on Black Friday and a plan of action. There was a very special gift that I wanted to buy for our granddaughter. It’s available only at one store in the mall. I figured Black Friday shopping would be crazy, but I was determined to get this item before they sold out. I waited until late afternoon in hopes that the worst of the crowds would have moved on. Wrong! I did finally obtain this high demand gift, but I spent a lot longer at the mall than I anticipated.

When I returned home, I was surprised to see that Randy was there before me. He greeted me with a stern expression and a heavy hardwood hairbrush in hand. He kissed me on the forehead and said, “Bon, you’re tardy and you will have to be punished.” His tone was serious, but the twinkle in his eye told me that he was looking forward to the evening’s festivities as much as I was.

After I had a much needed bathroom break, we moved upstairs. He sat on the corner of our marriage bed and summoned me to join him. He still gripped that wicked brush. I asked permission to activate the audio recorder on my tablet and he agreed. I then lowered myself face down over his lap and into the traditional spankee position.

When he lifted my long skirt, Randy broke character and exclaimed, “Oh, I love these panties. They make your butt look so spankable!” I had selected a white, high-waisted cotton thong with little red hearts. I knew he would like it.

Quickly though, he returned to his serious disciplinarian mode. He started to lecture as he rubbed the smooth back of the implement against my exposed cheeks. It felt cool, at least for the moment.

“Young lady, how many times have we talked about the importance of being punctual?”

“Many times.”

“And how many times have I had to beat your bottom over just this issue?”

“Many.”

“And what shall I do with you this time?”

“Spank me?”

“Oh yes, you’re going to get spanked, and thoroughly too. But I believe you need an additional reminder. Something special to help you remember. Do you know what that is?”

“No Sir.”

“After I wear out your bottom with this hairbrush, you’re going to get six strokes with the cane. Do you think that’s a fair punishment?”

“If you say so, Sir.”

“Then let’s begin.”

If there was a warm up, it was imperceptible to me. From the beginning, he shocked my bare skin with that infernal brush, striking about once every two to three seconds. This steady but relatively moderate pace allowed time for me to process the pain from each stinging swat before the next one fell. He alternated sides for a while and then delivered repeated hard blows to one particular spot before moving on. As is his usual practice, special attention was directed down low to my sit spots. From this point forward, my dialog was mostly unintelligible as I struggled to cope with a long and painful spanking. However, Randy had several pearls that would have been lost on me were it not for the recorder.

“You’re a good girl, but sometimes you simply need a hard spanking on your bare bottom.” (True)

“If I didn’t spank you every week, there’s no telling what would happen.” (I would be disappointed)

“Now c’mon, you act like this hurts.” (Dammit, it does hurt!)

“How embarrassing is it for you to be spanked like a little girl?” (Enough to be enjoyable)

“You know you love this.” (OK, you caught me – I love everything about it)

“That’s a very red bottom. I’ll bet it’s going to be sore.” (Going to be?)

For all his bluster, the caning afterward wasn’t that big a deal. It stung, but after such a thorough going over with the brush, the pain receptors in my bottom must have been worn out. The entire spanking probably lasted less than fifteen minutes, but it transported my psyche to a different dimension. By the end, he could have done almost anything and I would have gladly accepted it.

After the customary flash photography, my Prince Charming declared, “I’m hungry. Let’s go out and get some dinner.” Ugh. Men. I convinced him to give me a few minutes to recompose my spirit not to mention my face. I had to take a few moments to admire the lovely shade he painted my bottom. I found the raised ridges with my fingers, and thrilled at the ache as I pressed against my warm skin. I just got a spanking, I thought, and it was a really good one. My mind was at peace. I could happily slip off to sleep or maybe some gentle lovemaking and then sleep. But it was not to be, at least not yet.

As soon a joined Randy downstairs, he whisked me out the door and into the car. Dinner was fine, I think. At least I don’t remember anything not fine. Mostly, I remember squirming atop a very unforgiving chair. We talked over dinner, but I can’t recall any details. He was very sweet.

After returning home, we finished the evening in the best possible ways. Remarkably, I had no visible marks the next morning, though the delicious residual soreness stayed around a while longer.

As for Black Friday, I’m through. From here on, I’m a Cyber Monday gal!

Saturday, November 18, 2017

Happy LoL Day!

I simply can't miss Love Our Lurkers Day. If you are a lurker, or even if you aren't, I invite you to leave a comment and say "hello." You don't need to share your life's story (unless you want to), but please let us know that you are out there.

For the full LoL Day experience, I encourage you to visit Hermione's blog.

Happy LoL Day everyone!

Sunday, September 24, 2017

Twelve Year Reflections

Hi Friends,

It was twelve years ago today that I created this blog. I had a collection of spanking stories that I wanted to share and I thought this might be a good medium for that. It was all that and much more.

I don’t post often these days, but this blog is still a part of our lives. On this occasion, I want to express my humble gratitude to everyone who has supported this blog and this community over all these years.

Just for fun, I’d like to share my five all time most popular posts:
  1. Fifty Reasons to Spank Your Wife or Girlfriend (2007)

  2. Bonnie’s Top Twenty Spanking Positions (2005)

  3. In with the New Annual Edition (2015)

  4. Spanking 101: Rituals (2006)

  5. Spanking 101: Your First Spanking (2006)
I like these but they aren’t necessarily my favorites. Here are some old memories that I’d like to share.
  1. Spanking 101: Peeling Back the Labels (2005)

  2. Our Very First Spanking (2005)

  3. Story: The Sphere (2005)

  4. Keyword Chaos (2007)

  5. World Spanking Championship (2006)
I hope you enjoy these posts!

Wednesday, August 30, 2017

This and That: A Late Summer Update


Hi Everyone!  I hope you've had a wonderful summer with all the spankings that were needed.  We've been busy with a million small details.  But we've enjoyed some fun times too (rubs bottom).

Our MBS blogroll has expanded to include over 900 links.  There's a whole lot of spanking going on out there and people are writing about it and posting pictures.  Some readers lamented when it seemed that text-oriented Blogger and Wordpress blogs (typically published by women) were being overrun by more visual Tumblr blogs (more often published by men).  However, nothing on the internet lasts forever.  The big action today is on Twitter.  Spankos in this medium post both words and pictures and seem to be fairly evenly split by gender and role.  Many recent additions to the blogroll reflect this evolving reality.

As always, if you come across a spanking blog that belongs in our blogroll, please send me the link.

As seldom as I post these days, I still miraculously get mail.  It seems that people have been rummaging through my archive.  That makes me happy.  Anyhow, one reader asked me the eternal question, "Do you really let your husband spank you with a paddle?"  Yes, Libby, I really do fully consent.  In fact, I want him to spank me because it brings us closer and renews the bond between us.  I understand that many people find this concept inconceivable, and they are, of course, free to believe as they choose.  But for Randy and me, regular spankings are the centerpiece of our intimate relationship.

Next month, this blog will celebrate its twelfth anniversary and I will celebrate a milestone birthday.  I have yet to come to terms with becoming a senior citizen, but I'm working on it.  Those birthday spankings take a very long time anymore!  But we'll get though it somehow.  :)

Here on the home front, my dear Prince Charming is still exploring and experimenting with different spanking variations.  You'd think we might have exhausted the possibilities by now, but not so.  His current interest is in corporal punishment scenarios, which I love of course.  I used to think I hated the cane, but no more.  Recently, I admired the ridges on my bottom using my fingers while in corner time and earned myself an OTK session with the brush.  Then it was back to the corner again for contemplation and photographs.  Good times!

Let me conclude with a quote for the day, from the movie Loaded Weapon 1:

"I'm just a gal like any other gal.  I want a home, a family, an occasional spanking." - Miss Destiny Demeanor