Top Ten: Spanking Myths

There are a lot of misconceptions floating around about adult spanking. It's little wonder if you think about it. Spanking is simply not something about which most people generally speak. Even those of us who are quite familiar with the joys of consensual spanking hold our secrets quite tightly outside our small circle of trusted friends.

There is, of course, the internet and the wonderful resources here. However, many people have yet to find their way. For those newly arriving and anyone else with an interest, I would like to present and discuss ten common myths about adult spanking.

1. Effectiveness is related to severity - I believe that effectiveness depends far more upon what's happening inside the head of the recipient than anything that takes place at the opposite end. An effective spanking is one that produces a beneficial change in the spankee. That may, in some cases, necessitate a severe spanking. Often, however, a more moderate spanking, combined with encouraging words, expressions of caring, and appropriate aftercare will provide the greatest good for both partners.


2. Wood hurts more than leather - I hear this phrase even from experienced spankos, but I think it's an unfair generalization. Granted, some wooden toys can be fierce. But they are no scarier than a bullwhip! On the other end of the spectrum, we own both leather and wooden toys that I consider to be pure joy. Many factors enter into the severity of a spanking. The material from which the implement is constructed is but one.


3. Being dominant (or submissive) is a full time job - There are indeed couples who live their D/s on a 24 hour per day basis. However, there are other viable lifestyle options that can also work well. For example, some couples practice dominance and submission only at home or only during sessions. There is no single correct arrangement, except in the context of one couple's relationship.


4. Erotic spanking is the first step along the path to domestic discipline - As with the previous point, this is but one of many alternatives. Some couples practice DD without erotic spanking. For others, it's the opposite. A third group partakes in both. Each couple must seek their own ideal mix.


5. Spankees seek most of all to be humilated - I have read fictional stories where the big, bad dom yells, "Bare your fat ass, you stupid slut," or something even worse. There's probably a woman somewhere who gets off on that kind of talk, but I guarantee she is in the minority. I believe most of us who choose to submit do so out of love. We care for our partner and expect he will reciprocate in some fashion other than abusing us and beating us down. Earning submission is a honor. Taking it is a crime.


6. A good spanking is one that can be felt the following day - My husband says this, but I still don't buy it. As I outlined above, a good spanking is one that brings about a positive change in the recipient. It might only hurt for ten minutes, but that may be all that is required.


7. Spankings should be serious - Spanking, like almost everything else, is so much easier if you can laugh and see the humor sometimes. A trip over the knee is not quite like a trip to the gallows. Forget the executioner hood. It looks ridiculous.


8. It's best to spank until the spankee cries - Some spankees cry before the first swat. Others, like me, almost never cry during a spanking. There are better signs for judging a spanking's therapeutic value. For example, when the spankee relaxes her muscles and struggles no more, it generally means she has accepted the gift being given her.


9. Spanking solves most problems - No amount of spanking can repair a bad relationship. In fact, it might even exacerbate the situation. What spankings can do is open the channels of communication required to preserve and maintain a healthy relationship. But there is no magic bullet.


10. Aftercare is a sign of weakness - The purpose of aftercare is to bring the spankee gently back to Earth following a very intense physical and emotional experience. There is a time to play the tough disciplinarian, but this isn't it. Aftercare is an opportunity to return to the role of trusted friend, tender lover, and loyal companion. It completes the cycle and makes the entire experience real.

I'm sure I could think of ten more, but that's a project for another day.

Randy and I will be away for a few days with limited internet access. I hope to stop in, but if I don't, please know that I'll be missing all of you.

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for July 29

This week's brunch dealt with limits. As you can see, this question drew a wide range of responses.

Abby: For me, it was the Grither from a Christmas episode of "Tales from the Darkside." I still quiver at the thought of it.

I don't, however, quiver at the thought of anything CP. My husband and I have always known we were spankophiles, and it's one of the things that brought us together. We had about a year's hiatus due to work and schedules, but now that we're back at it. Our enthusiasm is very high. I want to do and try everything I haven't tried yet. But before I met him, I had sworn I would never allow myself to be caned, and now it's my favorite implement. I think limits are flexible. They are as much about mental space and partnership as they are about personal preference. A few months ago we tried to have a spanking session and I wasn't ready for it. I was very limited. Now I'm ready for anything!

Mary: I knew I didn't like monster stories. I wasn't one of those people who liked to be scared. The only time I liked scary movies was as a teenager, and then it was only because it provided a very suitable excuse for snuggling with my boyfriend. I am much the same with spanking, although I do like those anticipatory butterflies. I prefer to know what is coming. Thus, I agree the limits are flexible. We pretty much talk a lot. Today, I can say I have done so much more than I would have dreamed up sexually. However, the outer limit for us seems to be getting a true commitment from my guy.

Hermione: We had a 2 1/2 year hiatus from spanking, due to privacy issues. My partner finally arranged for us to spend an afternoon at a borrowed apartment, just for a spanking. He even checked out the wooden implements at the apartment and selected a wooden spoon for use on me. (It broke, btw) That opened a lot of doors for us both.

Now, I would not dream of limits because I really want to push the envelope and explore new possibilities. Every session is a chance to try something new or go a little longer or harder. I guess if I had to come up with something I would be hesitant to try, it is being spanked in front of other people. But even that would depend on the circumstances.

Jammin: For right now, the cane is the implement that I'm not willing to try. Having said that, I would consider it with the right person. So I do have limits, but I'm flexible as well. LOL

My lover gets upset when he sees bruises on me. I remind him that I enjoyed the spanking very much and it just marked the spot. This too shall pass. Both twilight zone and outer limits scared me to nightmares, but I would watch again. LOL

Anon: Ah, memories, memories - me, too! We are the same age, and it shows.

I like what I consider the "spank" part of it really, so that is where I prefer to remain and what drives my limits. I don't want to try the cane, a switch, birches, or a whip. I'm thinking of a crop, but that goes back and forth centered completely on the question of whether it's possible to land with just the little tabby part on certain delicate places, and not the stick part!

If it were important to my partner, I would be willing to gently experiment to see if my limit is real since I have no experience with those. But I'd prefer not to. With the exception of the crop question, I also prefer the spanking action to stay on my bottom and upper thighs, very upper thighs, sometimes straying close to my more feminine charms. I'm not one who revels in it crawling up my back, down my thigh or off to other parts. I have very traditional, domestic spanking fantasies and I think my desires and my limits reflect that.

Paul: Mel and I didn't think much about limits. The only thing that springs to mind is that she feared the cane. That was only used for the most serious offences and can't have been used more then six times. Our spankings were mostly of the good girl variety. We were so in tune that I knew her limits without even thinking. Our D/s was mostly service oriented and not at all BDSM.

Ryan: I don't think there are any limits as far as the spankee (me) is concerned (within injury-free limits). A spanking is not necessarily enjoyable. It's a lot of pain administered in such a way as to teach a proper lesson. For a bottom to say things are outside his "limits," is precisely the point. A spanker, of course, sets her own rules. But real spankings (and not fetish play) really begin when limits are crossed

Galros: THE BELT. Yes, it deserves capitals! I've had some very, very, very bad experiences in the past with the belt and I don't like it. In fact, I go into hysterics even watching someone take off their belt in front of me. I mean real hysterics.

But apart from that? I can be talked into most things. Some things are just learned reactions I guess - a symbol of good/bad things to come...

PK: I really like this question because it shows how much we are all alike while at the same time we each like and don't like different things. I know at this time I am willing to try anything Nick might suggest. I might not say that if he were the hardwired spanko!

I hear about whipping on the breast, feet, back and it has never appealed to me. I am not planning to suggest the cane either but at the same time I am opened to any suggestion my honey has. In fact, I love it when he has new ideas and he can be assured that I will go along at least for a try!!

Mary: I disagree that a spanking only starts when limits are crossed. There is a difference between having boundary lines and enduring pain. For me, the belt is a favorite. But if I felt like Galros does about it, I wouldn't EVER want it used. Another implement can cause as much or more pain if discipline is the reason for the spanking. Doing something that evokes psychological discomfort or crosses intimacy boundaries is not needed. It is only by respecting those boundaries have I grown to trust my partner enough to eventually be caned or have my breasts spanked. Had he jumped ahead just to prove he was in charge, I would have left the relationship.

Carye: For us, I would say there are not truly limits, just things that one or the other of us isn't comfortable with. We share and talk a lot so we know where we stand on different things. We do evolve though and things that perhaps weren't interesting a year ago may be on the menu this year. Currently, the things we're not ready for / interested in or one of us has objections to are canes and corner time.

Purple Angel: When I first started out, I had quite a few hard limits, but they have fallen by the wayside as my experience and curiosity grew.

First of all, I am talking about limits with a very trusted partner. We have agreed to never use any implement such as a bullwhip or even a cat-of-nine-tails that easily injures skin. We are also careful with canes and switches. When we use restraints we don't use anything that will rub the skin raw.

But our biggest hard line is we never send one another away after a punishment spanking. I know there is lots of disagreement about this, but I don't see the point in sending someone to a room by themselves after they have been spanked and forgiven. Spanking is a loving, caring experience in my mind and aftercare includes lots of holding and cuddling. Since we are switches, we both use these rules.

The one other line is about public or private spanking. While we don't have much experience we agree that being spanked in front of others is fine in a play sense, but that punishment must be done privately unless someone else was involved in some way.

Great question Bonnie, and by the way, I loved the Outer Limits!

Jean Marie: The Pentagon tells us that they have a smart bomb that leaves walls of buildings standing but destroys all life within them. My lovers have all been "the bomb," but in the opposite sense. They've systematically demolished my barriers and walls while leaving this sensate creature thriving.

My first barrier was just to acknowledge to someone else that I was a spanko. The first boyfriend with whom I shared this did a splendid job of warming my backside with practice. We practiced a lot! He loved to rub the warmth both while he administered it and afterward. Fingers wandered up my crack, and soon he was reaming me. It was a small step to anal sex. This act is a lot like spanking. It makes me feel all the more submissive, it hurts so good, and a part of its sexiness is its over-the-line, outlaw nature.

I evolved to wanting to feel my lover's belt, and loved it when I did. We invested in lots of leather toys, and I made sure they got broken-in. I feared wooden ones (ever since my parent used a wooden spoon on me when young). But my behavior and our curiosity pushed at that boundary too, and one night I got a sound hairbrush paddling. Wooden toys are now reserved for punishment-like disciplinary sessions. But that wall of fear has crumbled, as well.

The cane was the ultimate step, or so I thought. I can be a brat, and marks on my bottom have always intrigued me, so we tried this too. When used playfully, it's like the crop. But playfully doesn't leave those scary, splendid marks. I've been caned hard several times. I hate the experience during it, but I absolutely love the after-effects. Another wall down.

Limits just provide something to push against. They provide the opportunity for quality dialogue. They provide a challenge. Just like with old-time, scary TV shows, much of the thrill is born from the unknown. I'm a modest school teacher. It was a mind-blowing experience to attend a Shadowlane party and have my lover tell me that he was going to bare me and spank me in a room full of people. Doing just that was even better. We couldn't get back to our suite fast enough to make love.

Bonnie: I’m a little surprised to hear so many brunchers say they have few or no limits. We have a number of them. Here are some examples:

• Spankings should be directed at my bottom and *maybe* the very tops of my thighs.


• Cuts and blood are bad. They ruin the fun. We steer clear of toys that tend to break the skin.


• No positions that make my back hurt.


• No daddy’s little girl stuff. The whole incestuous molestation trip is way too weird for me. I’m willing to pretend to be an older teen who can make her own decisions, but even then, it’s not with a blood relative.


• No single tail whips. I know there are experts who can apply them with great precision, but these toys are too dangerous for us.


• No serious physical injuries. This may seem obvious, but it’s worth stating anyway.


• No outing ourselves to friends, neighbors, relatives, or co-workers. It just isn’t worth it.

I don’t mean to suggest that anyone else’s limits or lack thereof are not precisely as they should be. Each couple must find their own best arrangement. These are not solely my limits, but rather firm guidelines we both accept. Randy can and does expand my boundaries in terms of pain and endurance. He plays with my head in all manner of creative ways. But when it comes down to these fundamental issues, we completely agree.

Thank you all for sharing your experiences and insight. I hope you will join us here next week when the control voice...

No, wait, that's not what I mean at all. How about we have another brunch next Sunday?

MBS Spanko Brunch #80

When I was little, my father used to watch a black and white television show called "The Outer Limits." It was undoubtedly the weirdest program on TV in those days. Naturally, I wanted to join him and find out what happens. He would inevitably warn me that it was going to be scary. I mustered my courage and told him that I was a big girl and I wasn't afraid.

Well, anyone who has ever seen that show can guess what happened next. Every week, they had a really frightening looking alien monster who jumped out and menaced the local townsfolk. At the first sight of this grotesque beast, I screamed and cried and hid in my bed (where I would be afflicted by monster infested nightmares). Nevertheless, I usually returned the following week for more.

For this week's brunch, we're going to explore our own Outer Limits.

Do you and your partner have hard limits with regards to spanking activities? Are there some things you simply won't try or won't try again? Please describe what you consider to be your limits.

If you would like to contribute your thoughts to today's brunch, I encourage you leave a comment below, send me an e-mail, or post a response on your own blog. Once everyone has provided their responses, I will publish a summary of our discussion.

Update: Scout and Jim

I'm sorry if the content has been a bit light around here this week. I must confess that I've been spending time with another man, and a rather young man at that. I'm working my way through the final Harry Potter book (please no one tell me!). But fear not, I'll be finished soon and back to my regular blogging schedule.

Do you remember our friend Scout? She successfully convinced her husband to try spanking her and they seemed to be off to a fine start. Now, two and a half months later, we have an update on their progress.

Jim and I cleared the biggest hurdle - convincing him I really wanted this. But, after only a couple of weeks, spanking became regular foreplay. We didn't have sex unless we spanked first. Interestingly, the more he spanked, the more sex we had! Jim described himself as "into it" very shortly after we began (surprise, surprise).

I noticed some things right away. First, I walked around "happy." I wasn't unhappy before, but I definitely felt "happy" after. I was getting what I wanted, we were having sex nearly daily, and it was all a good time. Also, I became way more productive, both for work and home responsibilities. I had focus. Shortly after we began spanking, I had to give a presentation and participate in a panel discussion in front of about 400 people. I want to be modest here, but I did really well, and still hear from my colleagues about it. Jim is in an allied field, and he heard about it - people were telling him it was a triumph for me and that I carried the day. I wanted to celebrate with a spanking of course; Jim was so new to it then that initially he said he couldn't spank me for doing something so well! He quickly got past that.

Then, one of life's unexpected and extraordinary events happened. Jim was gone for a few days, and then our whole family had to travel out of state. It was a stressful and sad time, and several days into it Jim had the wherewithal to break through it by administering a stress relief spanking, so far our first and only. I asked him later how he knew to do it, and he replied that he thought I was practically begging him to do it. He also said that I seem happier after a spanking, and he wanted me to feel happy again. He also said, "isn't it enough that I spank you? Do I have to analyze it, too?"

You talked early on about the role of humor. We definitely see the humor, and most spankings induce lots of laughter. Even the one for stress relief had its comic moments; Jim used the only implement he had on him, his hand, and it became reddened and sore, probably as much as my bottom. Did you know it's the spankee's job to retrieve ice from the hotel vending machine for her spanker's hand? Her own bottom is supposed to ache...

I marvel at the power of spanking to improve focus. There are probably millions of adult ADD'ers out there who could get off their pharmaceuticals and over someone's knee and be cured. When I noted my own improved focus, I enlisted Jim's special help in one area that's frustrated me over the last few years - my creeping weight. This is an area that's at least a bit fraught. No husband wants to be put in the position of telling his wife to lose weight, or that she's physically not pleasing to him. But, truth be told, I needed to take off a few, and he's a workout fanatic and in great shape himself. We talked a lot about our particular plan, and how we'd use spanking in it. It's not a diet, it's a lifestyle. He doesn't require me to do anything, or lose any amounts of weight. It's up to me to make choices, and when I feel myself losing interest or slipping somehow, I ask him for a diet spanking, to help me refocus. It's been working wonderfully well, as I've lost 10 pounds since mid-May. Perhaps I'll even get the nerve up to model a white bikini for him before the summer's out!

Spanking has improved lots of things between us. We are more open with each other. For instance, before spanking I would never have shown him the number on the scale, or asked him to help me in an area as sensitive as weight management. We are more playful. He is forever grabbing, patting, pinching and swatting my behind. He drums it if he's behind me going up the stairs.

Every spanking has been followed by lovemaking. We don't do DD, and we don't want to. But, something interesting is emerging. I think Pagan touched on it. If I say something snippy, in a little tiffy exchange with him, Jim will use it for motivation later. I have to remember that the object of some of my barbs is also the wielder of the paddle! One night, in our special closet, he puffed out his chest and said, "tonight I feel quite justified in doing what I'm about to do!" And what followed wasn't one of the lovely long warm-up numbers.

I can't imagine a better testimonial. Spanking can work and does work in many relationships. Convincing a vanilla partner can be a difficult proposition, but the rewards for success are sweet indeed.

Scout asked me to post her story in hopes that it will inspire other wives and girlfriends to consider the possibilities of living out their spanko dreams with the man they love. I know I feel inspired!

Thank you, Scout, for sharing your success.

SpankingArt Wiki: A Community Resource

Readers often ask me what they can do to advance our community. I usually suggest that they support their local blogger with comments, participate in forums, or even consider starting their own blog.

Well, here's another good place for volunteer spankos to apply their talents. The SpankingArt Wiki is an online community resource. It works just like Wikipedia, but as the name suggests, it's dedicated to our favorite subject. How cool is that?

The SpankingArt Wiki holds lots of tremendous information, but there's room for plenty more. That's where we come in. Like any Wiki, this one is only as complete and accurate as the supporting community builds it to be. Every article can be edited and updated by anyone. In addition, it's easy to create new articles.

For the past couple of months, one of my side projects has been to update and clean up the Wiki's spanking blogs page. The list is now pretty complete, although the descriptions are brief and sometimes too generic. It's good, but it's not yet great.

Are there any civic minded members of our community who would like to pitch in and help build this excellent resource? If so, you needn't raise your hand (unless you really feel you must...). You need only visit the site and start contributing. No special computer knowledge is required. Nor is involvement limited to veteran spankos. I learned by looking at the pages that were already in place. I believe you can too.

Every little bit helps!

Eva's Card Meme

I borrowed this meme from Eva.

My Name: Bonnie

Childhood ambition: To prove that girls can be astronauts too

Fondest memory: Meeting my granddaughter

Sound track: 60s and 70s Pop

Retreat: My writing

Wildest dream: Seeing my crazy spanko fantasies (like the festival, the TV network, the college, or the resort) become reality

Proudest moment: Our daughter's college graduation

Biggest challenge: Prioritizing

Alarm clock: An annoying little squeakbox

Perfect Day: Walking on the beach with Randy, stopping on the boardwalk for chowder, and then returning to our beach front villa for a rollicking romp amid the sounds of crashing waves

First job: Waitress - Old men creeped me out by staring at me, but they left great tips

Indulgence: Randy

Last purchase: Groceries

Favorite movie for the moment: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Inspiration: My readers

My life: Not quite as I planned, but pretty darn good overall

My card: Amex

Recap: MBS Spanko Brunch for July 22

Our subject this week was the proposition that “Spanking is a healing, nurturing thing to share.” I love the quote (Thank you, Greenwoman) and I’m obviously in good company.

Dave: Without a doubt, it's a wonderful, intimate, intoxicatingly hot and sexy thing to share. Even just talking about spanking with someone is an incredibly liberating feeling.

However, it can be a real downer when you do not have someone with whom to share your spankosexual feelings!

Paul: Absolutely, if it wasn't a caring thing to share, it would be abuse. No one who loves their partner abuses them.

Spanking is the most erotic and healing foreplay I can think of. Even when Mel had earned a punishment, it healed a possible rift between us. We never went to bed as enemies always as lovers. There may be a better way to cement a relationship, but if there is, I don't know it.

Todd and Suzy: Spanking certainly can be a healing, nurturing thing to share. It can be many different things. It can be silly and playful, sexy and erotic, or caring and motivating. It could even be mean and scary. There are many, many possibilities. Spanking is what the people doing it make it.

Abby: This subject is so close to my heart that I am having a hard time putting my answer into words. I keep starting and restarting. There are some days that I really truly need a spanking from the man I love. Not just light play, not the kind that leaves me giddy and giggling, but the kind that puts me to tears and takes me to that place of giving up and letting go. Afterwards, as I stand up, he opens his arms and I let myself be embraced, and all I can say is, "Thank you." That anyone is willing take all the responsibility quite literally into his own hands and turn it into a way of releasing the pain from my own heart, amazes me. It is healing. It is nurturing. It is love.

Jean Marie: I like what Todd & Suzy said. Spanking CAN be healing and nurturing, or sexy, or punishing... There is TRUST regardless of what form the discipline takes, irrespective of the implement.

I'd draw the analogy to a doctor/patient relationship where spanking is the form of healing and nurturing. My lover diagnoses my problem, prescribes the medicine and the dose, and caringly administers it. I look up to a doctor, just as I do to my top, as a knowledgeable authority.

At the other end of the spectrum from our defined relationship, when I was an actress in L.A. years ago, I met and got to know a woman who worked as a professional submissive in a B&D, D/s establishment. Her stories were amazing. I cannot fathom the trust that she had to muster in order to turn herself over to a client with whom she had talked for only a few brief minutes. Hearing her talk put things into perspective for me at a time when I was trying to sort out who I was and what my submissive nature meant to me.

MTHC: I think it's like what Todd and Suzy say. For us, it's silly and playful, or sexy and erotic. There are so many possibilities!

Crystal: I have to echo all of the above. It's a great way to mend relationships, enforce discipline, and bring passion to your life. But it truly sucks when your partner refuses to indulge or he/she's not around. It's Soooo frustrating!

I love spankings. There is no better way to bind two people together because the spankee must trust that the spanker won't hurt him/her.

Bonnie: Greenwoman possesses a practical wisdom that I greatly admire. This quote, which she used to describe how her lover feels toward her, might seem contradictory to most of the world. But amid the beauty of her luscious prose, it could not sound more right.

While I agree that the act of spanking is not intrinsically positive, for those of us with a passion for that special glow, a good spanking can be an amazing elixir. Is it healing and nurturing for me? Yes, absolutely, and so much more. A spanking calms my nerves, helps me relax, restores emotional balance, re-connects me with Randy, gives me energy, rebuilds my motivation, energizes my libido, opens lines of communications, makes me feel sexy, and improves my mood. These benefits can last for hours or even days afterward.

As I often say, a sore bottom is a small price to pay.

Ofia: A thousand times, yes. It's amazing. I must say that Abby and Bonnie together have said all the important things, and well. I have to agree with Abby, that this is hard to put into words, and do any justice at explaining how it makes me feel.

I think that a spanking is an illustration of love. After he spanks me I feel loved. I feel his love encompassing me, protecting me, holding me, making me happier. A sore bottom is a reminder of these feelings.

Thank you again, one and all, for making this an enjoyable discussion. I look forward to (ever so gingerly) sitting down with you again next week. Until then, may all your spankings be "healing and nurturing!"

MBS Spanko Brunch #79

Welcome back to another MBS spanko brunch! I think everyone who reads this blog regularly has a pretty good idea about my thoughts about this favorite pastime of ours. Today, I would like to explore our feelings through a particularly interesting lens.

Our friend Greenwoman says "Spanking is a healing, nurturing thing to share." Do you agree?

Special thanks go to LynLass who suggested this week's topic.

If you would like to add your unique perspective to today's brunch, I encourage you to leave a comment below, send me an e-mail, or post a response on your own blog. Once everyone has provided their contributions, I will publish a summary of our discussion.

In With The New: Scorching Hot Edition

For someone like me who loves reading about spankings of every kind, the spanko blogging world is almost an embarrassment of riches. Each day, it seems, another insightful blogger appears on the scene to capture my imagination all over again.

Here are ten young blogs that I hope you will explore and enjoy. They're not all brand (spanking) new, but I've linked them only recently. When you visit, I encourage you to not only read, but also to offer some support in the form of comments. It's difficult to start a blog. In the beginning, it feels as though you're writing for no one. A few positive words at the right moment can make the difference between a successful blog and an abandoned effort.

Check these out!

Behold, The Ice Queen Melteth

Babblings, Blatherings, and Blusters

Hunter's April Star

Katie - Spanking and Submission

Little Brat with Sharp Teeth

My Spanked Cheeks

Newlywed Jane

Self Spanking

Spanking Storybook

The Little Red Schoolhouse

(If I've missed anyone, please tell me)

To these new bloggers, I bid you welcome. I look forward to watching your blogs grow and thrive.

Here are some suggestions I assembled as a guide to enhancing your blog. While it's certainly not the final word, you may find some useful tips.

My Blogging Smarts More Blogging Smarts My Blogging Smarts Again My Blogging Smarts: Balance

I hope you find the spanko blogging experience as rewarding as I have!

Keywords: spanking, spanking blog, spanking blogs, spanking blogger, spanko

The Spanking Network: New Fall Lineup

	Sun	Mon	Tue	Wed	Thu	Fri	Sat
8:00PM	Freakiest Link	What Not to Bare	The Ouch Chronicles	The Sound of Spanking	Romance of Leather	America's Funniest Spankings	Hairbrushes on Holiday
9:00PM	The Music Behind	Monday Night Paddling	You Bet Your Bottom	S.W.A.T.	Only Hurts When I Sit	Forever Red	Lust
10:00PM	Spank City Players	Through the Belt Loops	Newlywelt Game	Flog: The Booty Hunter	Spanko World Tonight	Truth or Bare	Candid Spanko
11:00PM	Classic Spanko Movie	Swatzilla	Revenge of the Sting	Count Whackula	Citizen Cane	Forrest Rump	Castle of Dr Spankenstein

Poll: A Spanko Census

Which Best Describes You? Straight male spanker Gay male spanker Bi male spanker Straight male switch Gay male switch Bi male switch Straight male spankee Gay male spankee Bi male spankee Straight female spanker Lesbian female spanker Bi female spanker Straight female switch Lesbian female switch Bi female switch Straight female spankee Lesbian female spankee Bi female spankee Current Results

Bonnie's Mailbag

It's been a month since we last dipped into the old mailbag and I can see that there are plenty of messages in there. Here's a sample (some messages are edited or paraphrased for brevity).

Comment: Thank you for linking my blog!

Response: You're very welcome. One of the genuine pleasures of publishing this blog is the opportunity I have to assist other spanko bloggers as they begin their own journeys. These folks enrich our community and I want them to succeed and thrive. I am aware that when I post a new link, it generates a good stream of traffic. When I can both show my readers an interesting new destination and aid a growing blog, that's a win for everyone.

Comment: That picture of your butt gives me the hotts. My kind of butt to worship!

Response: I get this sort of message fairly frequently. I feel ambivalent about it. On one hand, this fellow is trying to pay me a compliment and I should probably accept it in that spirit.

On the other hand, I wonder if it ever occurred to him that this butt is attached to a real breathing three dimensional human? I am more than an assemblage of body parts, and talk of worshiping seems a little creepy. As I've said many times, this blog is really about my writing. The photos serve more or less as promotion.

Then I think that if I didn't want socially immature guys drooling over the pictures, I shouldn't post them. But that would shortchange the civil, respectful gentlemen who also express their appreciation.

So, I guess that leaves me back where I began. Thank you, sir. I'm glad you like it.

Question: I wrote a spanking story. Will you read it and give me your thoughts?

Response: I receive this request regularly and my response is always the same. Between work, home, Randy, and this blog, my free time is pretty limited. I seek to help, but it may take me a while to get back to you. I simply have to set priorities and that means that I cannot be as responsive as I would like to be.

Question(s): Do you ever wear jean skirts? If you have, have you ever been spanked over it?

Response: Yes and yes.

Question: i am ajapanese boy. i would like to get spanked. will you spank me?

Response: You're still a boy and I'm a grandmother, we're 12,000 kilometers apart, I don't spank, and I play exclusively with my husband. Other than that, I see no problem at all.

Question: I know you've never heard of me before, but will you help promote my worthy charity on your blog?

Response: I'm not cold hearted, but we have to draw the line somewhere. I've never asked readers for money. Nor will I allow someone else to do that. There are plenty of opportunities for people to solicit. Just not here.

The sole exception is a very infrequent link to a friend's cause. Such is the case with Luna's Blog-a-thon to stop domestic abuse.

Question: You linked my blog. I'm glad you like it, but I didn't intend to share it with the world. How did you find it?

Response: I'm genuinely sorry this happened. My intent was to provide some exposure to a great young blog. I had no idea.

If you place something on the Internet, no matter how obscure you think the location may be, people will inevitably find it. In this instance, I used a search engine, but the details are inconsequential. Blogger, WordPress, and LiveJournal all have a method for setting up a blog that is open by invitation only. If you don't want the public inside, I suggest this type of approach.

This episode breaks my heart. My correspondent is a nice person, a very skilled diarist, and a dedicated spanko. She ultimately deleted her blog because I linked it. She says she may create another blog someday. I hope that comes to pass.

Question: wear short skirts?

Response: This was the complete text of the e-mail. I will sometimes wear a short skirt for Randy when we're playing. The rest of the time, my skirts are generally appropriate for the setting or activity.

Question: How can I optimize my blog for search engine performance?

Response: There are people who make a profession of tuning web sites for search engine optimization (SEO). At the same time, the big search engine firms tune their software to avoid being fooled by such tricks. Some of this is over my head, but I believe there are a number of fairly simple measures that can help.

• I have recorded a lot of thoughts on enhancing your blog in my Blogging Smarts articles.


• A good starting point is the meta tags near the top of your template. You can "view source" on popular blogs and web sites and see how they present themselves to search engines.


• The keywords you select are at least as important as how you market them. I try to strike a balance between words that uniquely describe my blog and those that are likely to bring in a lot of traffic.


• The words you use within the blog are also relevant. There are several words that are only mildly related to my topic that drag in hoards of readers. For example, anytime I reference any sort of women's undergarment in any context, readers arrive in droves. Once they get here, many find my spanking content to their liking as well.


• You can also go around and submit your blog to all of the common search engines. I don't think this is as necessary as it once was, but it can't hurt, especially with some of the blog-oriented search engines like Technorati and Sphere.

Search engine optimization is a worthy effort, but the majority of my hits come from links on other blogs. Your blogroll can and should provide an excellent opportunity for cross-promotion.

Question: Do you like tight thongs?

Response: No, I much prefer to wear the correct size.

Comment: I wanted to let you know that I deleted my blog. Despite having hundreds of visitors per day, almost no one ever commented.

Response: I am sorry to hear that you're giving up the blog, but if the time is right, I certainly can't find fault. I hope you backed up of all of your hard work before deleting it. Regardless of what you might think today, someday you will likely want those stories.

As for the comments, I can't tell you that my experience is much different. My ratio of visits to comments is usually several hundred to one. That's simply the way it works. The vast majority of readers don't comment. The tiny fraction who do comment do so only occasionally.

These numbers are indisputable. However, we choose how to interpret them. I believe that the thousands of people who visit this blog every day like what they find here and keep coming back because they want more. All bloggers love comments, but even in their absence, I know those silent readers are out there. For their presence, I am humbly grateful.

Question: I'm having trouble posting comments using my Blogger ID. Have you any suggestions?

Response: Yes. The problem I've seen happens when you enter a comment, then type in the magic word, and then login at the bottom. When you try to submit the comment, the magic word and password are rejected for some reason and you have to type them again. If you're not paying close attention, you might think that your comment was accepted when it wasn't. The second time, it almost always works.

The work-around is to login to Blogger before you enter any comments. This seems to eliminate the problem.

Question: I would like to know the esposide name of the Flinstones where Wilma and Betty recieved a paddling from Fred and Barney and their buddies at the Water Buffalo Lodge.

Response: That was "Ladies Night at the Lodge." Yes, I had to look it up!

Qustion: rad bych videl vas zadek po vyprasku a nebo se ho zu�

Response: Czech-mate!

Question: Is it good to be a girl?

Response: It is for me, but I was born this way. I haven't anything with which to compare.

Question: When are you going to post another poll? Ditto a spankologue?

Response: We'll probably have a poll later this week.

I discontinued the spankologue series last year. Quite honestly, it got to be more trouble than it was worth. The American Spanking Society blog now has a similar feature they call the Wink.

Comment: I'm worried that I'm literally obsessed with spanking.

Response: We joke sometimes about having a kink obsession, but it's certainly possible to take an intense interest beyond the point where it's healthy and productive. If you feel as though it's interfering with your life and you want to make a change, I suggest that you seek out a kink-aware therapist. The goal would not be to eliminate the kink, but rather to restore a comfortable balance.

Question: The concept behind my blog is no longer valid, so I am thinking about deleting it. Is there anything I should know?

Response: Yes. In Blogger, it's notoriously simple to wipe out months or years of work. I know a couple of bloggers who have done precisely this and later regretted it. As I mentioned previously, at very least, you should back up all of your text. Even if you don't want it today, you may find yourself blogging again in the future.

I think there is a better alternative to deleting a blog. If you simply delete it, there is a good change that spammers will take over the URL and annoy your loyal readers. However, if you instead clear out all of the posts and leave only a simple goodbye, people will know you're gone (and why, if you choose to share that information). Should you elect to resume blogging in the future, your name and template are ready to go. As an added bonus, you can keep all your links in a handy location.

However, the best option, unless you have a strong reason to do otherwise, is to post a message explaining your absence and leave the blog as it is. When you're ready to return, everything will be in place. In the meantime, readers can still enjoy all of your great posts. (Thank you T&S for your comment)


I guess that's enough for now. May all of your spankings be good ones!

Recap: MBS Spanko Brunch for July 15

I guess I won’t ever need to ask the question, “Are spankos simply more inventive than their vanilla brethren?” We already addressed it this week. Our topic was things to see and do at a midsummer spanking festival. As you will see, there are lots of fun choices.

I would like to extend a special warm MBS welcome to Brad and Abby. I’m delighted that you stopped in and added your ideas.

Paige Tyler: Fun question! There would be lots of spanking-related activities, of course, like games, demonstrations of spanking implements and techniques, informative lectures for both beginners and experienced alike, vendors selling everything from implements to books, and even spanking performances!

Spankoe: How about a spank-or-tank where the spanker can spank the victim and drop them in a tank of water? They could cool the spank by a dunk in the tank. Even if that’s not practical, it sure sounds like fun for a hot summer spanko-faire day.

Maybe there could be cutout figures (similar to the muscle man and beach babe where you stick your head through the hole to appear as the latter) except the cut-out part would be the butt for spankees to poke their own butts through to receive random paddlings and have pictures taken while receiving said paddlings from the spankers who want to play.

How about a spanko-go-round with spankees butt-up so the spankers can swat cheeks on the fly as the calliope goes round and round?

Instead of the mallet and bell strong man game it could be a big rubber butt and oak paddle to see who packs the mightiest wallop on the spank-o-meter.

I like the idea of vendors and lectures and stuff too, but there could be some fun goofy stuff too.

Paul: Apart from all the fun of the fair, plus kinky films and vendors selling everything from clothing to implements.

How about a spanko-thon? We’d use volunteers only, of course. How about a medieval touch? We could have a spanko tournament where the spankees are mounted on wooden horses bare butt up, and their knights are mounted on real horses. The winner to be the one who completed the course fastest having given the required strokes to each presented butt.

And let’s not forget private withdrawing rooms so that each spankee can receive the aftercare that they need.

What a blast, Bonnie. *G*

Brad D.: Wasn't there a scene like this in the movie, Exit to Eden?

I envision wandering characters like those at Disneyland. I think it would be fun to see some spankable or spanking characters such as Paris Hilton, Madonna, Maureen O'Hara, and Lucy Arnaz, and for the guys, John Wayne, Robert Horton and Elvis.

As for the booths, well, you should have a schoolroom, a family parlor, a prison strapping room, and a few bucolic outdoor scenes for over-the-log or tressed-up-on-a-tree limb scenes.

For souvenirs, well, remember all those spanking paddles of our youth with the silly sayings and embarrassing pictures?

Amber: Oh what fun ! Instead of a kissing booth, we could have a spanking booth (so many tickets earn so many swats of course). Remember the cartoon portraits? A personalized caricature in your favorite spanking position would be a great spanking fair souvenir. Or perhaps we could try the old vintage western saloon photos, done in a spanking pose of course.

The cake walk could be replaced with a "Paddle walk." Contests and auctions could offer spanking implements. The sounds of smacks, squeals, and giggles could be heard for miles. As for the smell, besides the yummy smell of your traditional festival/fair foods, I would think there would also be the pleasant aroma of wood and leather in the air. The list could go on forever. :)

Jean Marie: My first thought was that it'd be kind of like a Shadowlane party. It would be a fete for our fetish, a grand get-together of like-minded people. But, this could be better / different. The festival would take place during the daytime and out in the open summer air. Due to the factors, it would have an energy all its own.

Perhaps it would be best to have designated areas for specific interests. The whole fair grounds could be called Spank City. Inside, there could be subdivisions such as LeatherLand for strap and belt enthusiasts or the Paddle Palace for aficionados of that implement. I imagine the largest neighborhood would have to be the Hand-to-Heiny Headquarters for lovers of the good, old fashioned, over the knee spanking by palm.

I would think that couples would predominate, but we don't want to exclude singles. Romance can be excitingly kindled when a bottom is enticingly warmed. So, Bonnie's patented self-spanking machine would be a major attraction. Scores of bottoms would be lining up, dropping drawers, and bending over for a dose of mechanized discipline. Scores of tops would be carefully observing the scene. (Oooh, that young lady just took a very long, very hard paddling from the machine, she's my kind of submissive, let me introduce myself...)

More than at other theme parks, places to sit down for OTK fans would be necessary, so lots of straight-backed, armless chairs are scattered across the grounds. Half the crowd couldn't use them without seat-cushions, however, due to their toasty tushies. These would be available for a nominal fee (a heavy price already having been paid by the spankee). Other vendors might sell cotton candy, and offer to pinken your cheeks while it is whipped up, or candied apples (I don't know about you, but I always get sticky when my apple of an ass is made red and delicious).

Some of the appeal of spanking is its spontaneity, so Spanking Police would be patrolling the fairgrounds. They might issue tickets for girls in too short a pair of short-shorts, or too revealing a bikini bottom, etc., but also they might issue citations for eminently spankable derrieres.

A popular attraction at regular fairs is the kissing booth. How about a booth where any submissive could have her freshly disciplined backside kissed?

As we all know, spanky often leads to hanky-panky, so, just like at Disney World, a resort-style major hotel might be necessary right next door to the theme park, so that couples can get a room right after they get riled-up from reddened and roasted rumps.

In summary, I think that this fair would rival Disneyland as "the happiest place on Earth," even if a few spank-induced tears are shed.

Abby: Oh my goodness! Back in my Renaissance Faire days (of which I had, perhaps, three total), I used to have a fantasy about a booth that sold straps and canes, with spanking benches out front. Spanking wasn't the theme of the faire, but the booth was for naughty wenches whose companion, be it friend, lover, or frustrated faire-goer, could purchase an implement and then make use of it then and there. In the fantasy, I worked as the assistant, with my long skirt up over my head most of the time.

For your spanking fair, I think there ought to be counting games. I'm thinking of one in which the player/victim submits to an unannounced number of strokes of a chosen implement, then at the end has to guess how many he/she received. I would lose every time! But I'd have fun trying.

Bonnie: Here are some random ideas:

• Spanking Court – Where miscreants are dispensed our special brand of justice


• The Hot Seat Café – This spanking-themed food service tent features barbecued rump roast, hot crossed buns, and fanny fries. (Sorry no pizza this year – someone keeps stealing the pizza paddle)


• Paddlerama – The fast action live spanking game show event where couples compete to answer rapid fire questions about general spanking knowledge. Winners swat, losers squat!


• The Bottom Line – TBL is a place for learning, sharing, and understanding. Newbies and veteran spankos alike will pick up useful tips and enhance their skills.


• Double sno-cones in an elongated cone designed so two ice mounds sit side by side (available in cherry only).


• Belts of Doom – An entertaining musical stage performance, featuring an exclusive preview of six catchy songs from the upcoming off-Broadway musical “Swish, Swat, Wow!”


• Swats of Love – This is a spanking booth where spankers pay to swat willing volunteers. All proceeds benefit the Hollywood Home for Retired Spanking Models.


• The Arcade – No longer home to mere video games, our arcade features two state-of-the-art virtual reality spanking simulators! Spankers can actually feel as though they are paddling or caning any one of dozens of virtual spankees, complete with realistic responses!


• The Mall – The vendor mall at the spanking festival is the ideal spot to test and then purchase every imaginable spanking-related item. What ever the need, from brushes to benches, costumes to canes, props to paddles, restraints to rulers, our mall has it all! Best of all, the craftspeople and spanking experts will be on hand to describe and demonstrate.

Now I really want to go…

Scout: I envision one of those "bring history to life" places. Artisans in both Leatherland and Woodworld use traditional tools and methods to craft their wares, which naturally are for both demonstration and sale. Actors in period costume stage vignettes to show how the implements were put to use (here's the chastened young bride who ran up accounts at the dressmaker's, etc.).

The food court has a "Spanking Dieter's" section that serves both salads (those who've been freshly spanked) and French fries (those who want to be). The sounds are glorious thwacks and attendees make good use of the generous number of benches set about.

Whew! That was amazing. I guess this wraps up our spanko brunch for another week. I hope you’ll all join us again next Sunday.

Keywords: spanking, spanking festival, spanking fair, spanko, My Bottom Smarts, spanko brunch

MBS Spanko Brunch #78

Welcome back, my friends, to our weekly spanko brunch. Today, we invite you to apply your vivid imagination. This being summer, it's the traditional season for all sorts of fairs and festivals. I suggest that we should hold a spanking festival.

If you had the opportunity to help plan a summer spanking festival, what sorts of events, entertainment, and activities might you include? How might it look, sound, feel, taste, and smell?

I encourage you to post your favorite spanking festival ideas. The more exotic and clever they are, the more fun our brunch will be.

If you would like to contribute to our discussion, please leave a comment below, send me an e-mail message, or post a response on your own blog. Once everyone has provided their input, I will publish a summary.

The Spanko Mind

I always find it interesting how the mind of a spanko can instantly transform an entirely vanilla situation into a scenario dripping with kinky goodness. Let me give you an example. Randy and I were dining recently at a very pleasant theme restaurant. The room was bright and airy with high ceilings and plenty of windows. But the ceiling fans immediately drew my attention. To my admittedly spanking-obsessed eyes, they looked like whirling wooden paddles overhead.

So, did I stop with that brief and slightly amusing glimmer of awareness? Of course not. I considered what sort of rig would be required to adapt those spinning implements for a more appropriate duty. Each paddle shaft would have to include some sort of spring so that the paddle had a little give after it struck the target. Otherwise, the spanking would be over after the first swat.

I would orient the fan such that the drive shaft was parallel the ground. This alignment would allow the path of the blades to be vertical. They would spin such that the end of each paddle would strike the bent over spankee with a slightly upward stroke. The paddles themselves would have to be turned so they hit squarely. They could also each be oriented to swing in a slightly different plane in order to provide full coverage. This could work...

"What are thinking about, Bon?" Randy's words broke my concentration.

"Um, nothing I guess." Apparently, he recognized that faraway look. I wasn't prepared at that particular moment to recount all the details of my mechano-spankical vision over salad. He'd just decide it was a good excuse for another spanking. Perhaps it was, but my mind was still clinging to my amazing bottom warming contraption.

Our conversion resumed. We discussed happenings in the world, family news, and the weather. It was a clear day, but quite windy outside. I might even call it a spanking breeze. Eureka! It would be especially cool to have a windmill drive my spanking machine using belts! We could have the greenest reddening anywhere!

By this time, Randy must have surely thought I had lost my marbles. He eventually gave up and simply enjoyed his dinner. After we returned home, I shared my idea. He was amused, and he did spank me, albeit in the conventional manner.

I still think it might work.

Song Parody: Spanking Time

Randy mentioned to me last night that it's been ages since I posted a song parody. As usual, he was right. Therefore, to head off any perception that I might have forgotten my musically inclined readers, I present Spanking Time. It's suitable for crooning in the shower or dungeon. Spanking Time is sung to the tune of the very popular song, Closing Time by Semisonic. I hope you enjoy it.

Spanking Time
Spanking time
Time to get her rump out and show it off now to the world
Spanking time
Turn up the temperature on the bottom of your favorite girl
Spanking time
You know she deserves it all, so paddle her right on the rear
Spanking time
Can’t wait ‘til you get home, so you must spank here

I know how I want to make her glow
I know how I want to make her glow
I know how I want to make her glow
Make her glow…

Spanking time
Time for you to redden both sides of her sweet curvy bum
Spanking time
She just lies there waitin’ for you to play her just like a drum
So gather up your hairbrush and slap it on her bottom
I hope that you start a trend
Spanking time
Every new fantasy comes from some other fantasy’s end

Yeah, I know how I want to make her glow
I know how I want to make her glow
I know how I want to make her glow
Make her glow…

Spanking time
Time for you to redden both sides of her sweet curvy bum

I know how I want to make her glow
I know how I want to make her glow
I know how I want to make her glow
Make her glow…

Spanking time
Every new fantasy comes from some other fantasy’s end

Happy Birthday, Eva!

To my dear friend Eva,

Through triumph and tribulation,
Through confusion and captivation,
Through weariness and motivation,
Through parenthood and perspiration,

The love you share with Adam has helped you both to carry on and be strong.

A little thing like a birthday is merely a speed bump on the road of life.

So what better way could there be to recognize this milestone than to bump each other right into another sweet year together?

I hope you're enjoying a fantastic birthday!

Keyword Chaos Re-Ignited

Like the circle of life, there's a circle of laughs that takes place right here on this blog. Generous readers type in all sorts of oddball search strings that ultimately lead them to MBS. I collect these phrases and derive from them great amusement. Today, I complete the cycle by returning some of my favorites, in all their bizarre hilarity, to you, my dear readers. I hope you will enjoy them as much as I do!

• spanking your girlfriends - If your girlfriends find out about each other, they may come looking for you!


• professional disciplinarian - This is not the sort of thing where you want to rely upon an amateur


• cheerleaders punished for going wild - The coach bought the video


• reasons for spanking a grown woman - Number one: She enjoys it!


• pantie museum - Here we have a pair that Lady Godiva absolutely detested


• spanking with sex - Two great tastes that taste great together


• my husband is wearing my girdle - I've decided he can keep it


• Bonnie has panty lines - Oh, horrors! Not that!


• my bottom hurts blog - Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery


• thong spankings - We can add this to the all time list of ineffective spanking implements


• sore bottom spanking - Is there another kind?


• pirate wood paddle - It's the plank for ye, wench! Arrrr...


• mature self-spankings - As opposed to immature self-spankings?


• spanking my mother stories - OK, that's a little different


• spanking lessons - Now, pull your arm all the way back and then let it fly...


• as kindred spirits, metal pieces - Huh?


• fictional memories of punishing spankings - Is it fictional or are they memories?


• arse ass bottom buttocks guts - One of these things is not like the others


• performance spankings - For the modern gal in a hurry


• wool pantyhose diaper - I'm having trouble picturing this


• romantic anal evening - White wine, red roses, candlelight, soft music, and lots of lubricant


• Bonnie wears pantyhose - Sometimes I can't avoid it


• burning pleated skirt - If you really dislike that skirt, why not just give it away?


• please spank my wife - Don't be a wimp. Spank her yourself!


• why does my wife want to spank me? - Maybe she thinks you're a pain in the butt


• spanking illustrated - I can't wait for the swimsuit issue


• do you like a vibrator up the bum during sex? - That's kind of a personal question, don't you think? I guess it depends upon how I'm feeling at that moment


• pizzle ass spank - I try to do my pizzling beforehand


• spanking parade - You should have seen the cheerleaders' float!


• my first spanking in the church dungeon - Are you sure this isn't a cult?


• wood paddle bruises - That's a definite possibility


• tasteful spanking - He spanked me with the chef's ladle


• old fashioned teen daughters discipline - How old fashioned can a teen be?


• no panties found on bare butts - That would figure


• my worst spanking panties - They were florescent red and my husband tried to match the hue


• how can I heighten my libido? - If you figure that out, let's patent it!


• wood diving board - Not every large, flat wooden object is appropriate for use as a spanking implement


• bubble butt with wide hips - Smile when you say that!


• naked bottom in white panty - OK, so was she naked or did she wear panties?


• aunties panties - It's time again for the poetry corner


• spank exchange - Spanking futures shot up today after reports of brattiness throughout the broader markets


• fully naked lily munster - Herman, do you feel a draft? Herman? Herman!


• dildo party - I don't think I'm going to vote for any of those candidates


• apple inserted in butt - I just don't understand why they say it keeps the doctor away...


• spanking royalty - What a great idea! I could charge Randy royalties for the use of my bottom.


• wearing buttplugs - I think that more than one at a time is a bad idea


• reasons to have a girlfriend - If you can't think of any, you're probably better off by yourself


• oops, I lost my tits - We were riding along in the convertible when they just popped out!


• spank griddle - Clank!


• spanking nasties - That'll teach those nasties!


• cookie monster butt plug - Something tells me that this might not be an officially licensed product


• luke spank - Turn to the backside, Luke!

Shower Power

Have you ever tried spanking while in the shower? If not, you might enjoy it.

Randy and I shared a shower spanking the other evening and it was definitely good, clean fun. On his way home from work, he called me and told me to strip and lie on the bed. This instruction made me think I was in for one of his spanko-bondage frolics. When he arrived a few minutes later, I was in the designated position and state of nudity.

I was a little surprised, but certainly not dismayed, when he removed his clothing as well. Once he was as naked as I was, he knelt down, kissed my cheek, and whispered in my ear, “Shower time.” I leapt from the bed with enthusiasm. This was a game we both enjoy and we hadn’t played this way in ages.

It was a bit tight with two people sharing a shower designed for one. But closeness was definitely part of the attraction. We embraced and kissed passionately as the warm water flowed around and between us, caressing our glistening skin. His hands became reacquainted with my rounded landscape. My hands stroked his handsome face as I stared once again into those captivating eyes. We recognized one another as partners, as traveling companions through life, and as lovers. As he squeezed me tightly, I rededicated myself to him with head, heart, body, spirit, and soul.

We next took turns washing and rinsing one another. This was fun. We laughed as the suds went all over. It turned out that some areas required considerably more lathering than others.

Once we were thoroughly clean, he began to spank me with his stiff right palm. His pace was leisurely at first, but gained momentum as he progressed. His left arm still encircled my waist. He pulled me in close, even as he struck my wet bottom again and again. It hurt, to be sure, but it was such a sweet sting that I could only pant my approval.

Again he kissed me as our tongues danced and darted. Then, as if one body, we pivoted together and turned so that the water jet was running directly down my back. Randy paused the spanking long enough to adjust the temperature of the shower. It was now much warmer than before. Likewise, the spanking intensified after he retrieved a wooden bath brush from the adjacent countertop. The sound produced by the impact of this hardwood implement against my wet skin was nearly as shocking as the swat itself. The loud CRACK reverberated around our bathroom as if it were an echo chamber.

Randy now spanked in earnest employing short, quick strokes. I clung tightly to him as he continued to light up my bottom. By the time he decided I had accepted enough, I was dancing from the sheer intensity of the burn he had administered.

When we emerged from the shower, our bathroom was positively fogbound. This poor visibility didn’t prevent me from wiping down the mirror in hopes of gaining a peek at the condition of my punished posterior. I could discern that it was quite red, a bright crimson hue in fact. The combination of powerful strokes and hot water had brought a vivid color to my skin.

Before I could consider what Randy intended to do next, he led me out into the bedroom and onto our bed. He positioned me on all fours atop the comforter. “Stay right there,” he declared. I was mentally preparing myself for more spanking, but my lover had a different idea. As I stared at the far wall, I saw a bright flash originating behind me. He took my picture!

“I want to remember you just like this,” Randy said with a smirk.

I started to raise an objection, but he countered by rolling me onto my back and delivering the kind of oral pleasure that could redress any grievance. Using a technique he knows so well, he kneaded my throbbing cheeks as he lapped at my love nub. My climax came suddenly and with great force. He left me woozy and nearly breathless.

A short while later, it was his turn. We moved under the covers where we enjoyed a deliciously slow coital coupling. As I felt my man above me and within me, I knew that all was as it should be. I was content, satisfied, and recharged. I couldn’t help but smile.

So, have you tried a shower spanking?

Keywords: spanking, shower spanking, bath brush spanking, spanking story, spanking and sex, Bonnie, erotic spanking

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for July 8

So what is a spanko? Is that even a word we should use? Those are the questions we pondered this week. Here are your thoughts.

Southern Angel: I use the word spanko a lot and I don't think there is anything derogatory about it. I assume it is a shortened form of spankophile. I don't know what word you could use to replace it since it is one of the few words that can refer to both the spanker and the spankee and both sexes.

I am proud to be a spanko and loved your manifesto.

Carye: I like the word spanko! It gives me something easy to say when I talk about it! Now, my husband doesn't like being called vanilla, but that is another story! :-)

Tiggr d'Amore: I, too, am proud to be a spanko and take no offense. However, I do think that perhaps there might be a tendency, especially amongst "vanilla" or non-spankophile types, to use that to define us as individuals...

I HATE labels, all labels. But I don't see "spanko" as a label. I see it more as an adjective. It’s kind of like saying that I'm a redhead. It is just a PART of who I am, but it IS a part of me. I'm proud of it!

Dave: I did see her article and pretty much have to agree. I think the term spankophile or the lengthier "spanking enthusiast" just sound classier.

Mary: I like the full spankophile better, but I don't really care. It is simply terminology to me. Yet, I guess the downside to terminology is that the term can then be used as a label and thus disliked. Adjective or noun? A description or a label?

Sally: I like the term spanko. It gives instant identity to those of us who enjoy a particular activity that isn't always so simple to explain. I also very much enjoyed and agreed with your well written manifesto!

Eva: Spanko it is for me. Spankophile sounds negative to me. Spanking enthusiast is okay. However, it's too many syllables for my simple mind. Spanko sounds fun, energetic, and positive. I will be a spanko until the day I die.

Curtis: There’s nothing wrong with the word. Any of those listed in these replies are good, too. Your manifesto was the best outline of what I and many of us feel about ourselves -- but it took a long time and probably the Internet for us to be comfortable with ourselves.

Paul: Mel and I were spankos, as were Mel's parents. It's a partial description – tall, brown hair, blue eyes, spanko.

It's a very inapt label as there are a great variety of us.

Scout: I just read the manifesto and today's brunch topic, together. I'd be a signer of the manifesto and embrace the term "spanko." Sexually descriptive words ending in "phile" evoke the creepy to me, and "spanking enthusiast" seems dowdy and frumpy, too akin to "vintage car" or "hooked rug" enthusiast. Spanking is fun. It's foreplay and it's a connection heightener between a couple. Spanko captures the essence, IMO.

KJ: I also don't like spankophile. Most words with "phile" are negative terms (such as pedophile). I also don't think of discipline when I hear "spanko". I think of toys, play and fun. It's a new word to me as I have only found these sites about five weeks ago.

Bonnie: As I said in the introduction, it never occurred to me that anyone would find offense in this little word. To me, it's light, easy, useful, and fun.

A spanko is anyone with an interest in adult spanking. It's inclusive because it makes no distinction about role, gender, or degree of involvement. There are plenty of synonyms, and I've probably used them all at various times, but none work as well or flow as easily off my fingertips.

Labeling is always an issue, but that concern applies to any term we select.

Spankophile sounds a little too academic to my ear. Spankophilia, the root word, seems like something for which people might seek treatment (and that's the last connotation we want!). Spanking enthusiast certainly works, but it's longer, conveys no additional information, and fails to express the element of fun.

As you might have gathered from the manifesto, I am a spanko to my very core. I'm proud to be called a spanko and delighted to associate with friends who consider themselves spankos.

Self Spanker: I am a spanko. Spankophilia is just one of many paraphilias I heartily endorse.

If you are interested in the other paraphilias I find interesting, please visit my blog for a list.

Jean Marie: I am a spanko. I fantasized about being bared and spanked by a romantic lover long before puberty. I was overjoyed to discover that my long-held fantasies were even better when realized in the flesh.

I am a spanko cerebrally, I think about being spanked often and have no trouble reconciling this with being a feminist. I'm a spanko to the pulsing heart string at the core of my being. I'm a spanko in the pit of my tummy, which gets butterflies at the mere mention of the word, and turns null at the instigation of the deed. I am a spanko from the curved surface of my bubble of a butt down deep, permeating the baby fat and muscle. I'm a spanko to the marrow of my bones, where I've felt the reverberation of many a sound swat. I am a spanko in my sex – Turn me over to turn me on. Spanking is the best foreplay, and sometimes it even goes beyond the preliminaries. A good, hard spanking can rival a mediocre hard cock any day of the week.

I am a spanko not only in the first blush of a relationship, when my heart and my hind-end are tender, when love-pats are the order of the day. But I am also a spanko under duress, be that a lengthy session with the hairbrush or a length of English cane.

I am a spanko because of the similarity to the word "nympho." I long for my panties to be pulled down. I lust to be pulled across his lap. I cream at his intimate caress. I climax at the culmination. I feel driven by a hunger for it. I've plotted for ways to get it. I've planned while my bottom is still burnished how to get it again, harder, longer, with more intensity, and greater passion.

I am a spanko after the heat-making and the love-making. I've thrilled to feel the welts and stare at the marks in a mirror. I've reveled in the need to wince whenever I want to sit. Bruises on my bum are a badge that I wear proudly and a source of arousal.

I am a spanko in the way I dress. Who else would have a wardrobe of tight fitting trousers, short daisy dukes, scandalous skirts, schoolgirl jumpers and drawer after drawer of sexy unmentionables, so as to best show off her ample understanding?

I'm a spanko in the things I collect. I've spent a fortune on a vast array of implements of ass destruction, but I also find beauty in the everyday item. Pampered Chef parties can get me wet with all the well-made cooking spoons and long-handled pancake-turners. A big rubber spatula from Tupperware nearly brought me to orgasm in front of all my friends. A trip to the beauty supply store to check out their wooden hairbrush selection can make me high for a week.

I am a spanko. The Spanko Manifesto eloquently expressed what my brain couldn't formulate and my mouth couldn't articulate, but what has been written in my soul for a lifetime.

Jim: I prefer the term "spankosexual."

Teresa: I used to say I was a freak. So, yes, I like spanko better and I am glad I heard it here.

Spankoe: I like spanko. The only reason I added the "e" on the end of my blogger ID is that one day whilst pondering the enigmas of the universe I realized that if you mix up the letters of the nearest city, they spell Spankoe (have fun now, all you word puzzle fans). What could be a more appropriate nickname for a spanko?

Todd and Suzy: We like the term spanko. The phrase "spanking enthusiast" works too, but it's obviously longer. Spanko is a quick way to convey to other spankos what you're talking about, much like the more specific words spankee and spanker.

Obviously, if you need to be more detailed, or you're speaking to someone outside the community, more words will be needed. But spanko works quite well with its limited goal of expressing a general enjoyment of consensual adult spanking practices.

We agree too about "phile" being a little too clinical sounding, as if perhaps a cure is needed.

CeeCi: I love words. They fascinate and delight me (Ms. Spankoe from Spokane probably finds the same joy).

So, yeah, spanko is just a word. It can have any meaning we choose to attach to it. The first time I encountered the word spanko my gut reaction was how much it made me think of those awful childhood words: “weirdo, wacko, sicko or psycho.” I was new to my exploration and it took me a long time to understand it wasn't a negative term. It still makes me cringe when I read it.

I have no suggestions for a new word or phrase. Spanko works because it has been embraced positively by many people.

I'm not particularly fond of the word 'blog' either, yet I use it. I guess that's the beauty of language.

Anon: "phile" is a common term used in chemistry, meaning to like or to be attracted to. For example, hydrophilic is a molecule attracted to water, usually because it has a like nature. It is unfortunate that many people find it associated with being negative. So in pure scientific terms, spankophile describes those who like or are attracted to spanking perfectly.

Paige Tyler: I never gave it much thought actually. I suppose that since I love spanking, I must indeed be a "spanko," though I never use the word to describe myself or my hubby. I don't think it's derogatory, though.

Mike: Spanko is a wonderful all-inclusive word. Be certain to add it to your dictionary whenever the word is underlined in red. Thus, we have invented a great word.

Jujubees: Spanko says it all. I agree with everyone else who thinks spankophile is a derogative sounding term. To me, spanking enthusiast is also somewhat strange sounding. Too generic maybe? I am a spanko, plain and simple, and I like it like that!

Erica: In this case, I respectfully disagree with Eve. I use it all the time, and I think it works perfectly. It's unisex, too. And I don't associate it with "sicko" or "whacko."

Spanking enthusiast is perhaps a classier term, but spanko rolls off the tongue more easily. :-)

I anticipated some healthy difference of opinion, and of course, wasn't the least bit disappointed. Regardless of whether you consider yourself a spanko, all of your contributions are most appreciated. Thanks go to all of you for making this one of best brunches ever!

I hope you'll join us here again next week for another spanko Sunday brunch.

Keywords: spanking, spanko, spanking words, My Bottom Smarts, spanko brunch