Sunday, July 08, 2007

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for July 8

So what is a spanko? Is that even a word we should use? Those are the questions we pondered this week. Here are your thoughts.

Southern Angel: I use the word spanko a lot and I don't think there is anything derogatory about it. I assume it is a shortened form of spankophile. I don't know what word you could use to replace it since it is one of the few words that can refer to both the spanker and the spankee and both sexes.

I am proud to be a spanko and loved your manifesto.

Carye: I like the word spanko! It gives me something easy to say when I talk about it! Now, my husband doesn't like being called vanilla, but that is another story! :-)

Tiggr d'Amore: I, too, am proud to be a spanko and take no offense. However, I do think that perhaps there might be a tendency, especially amongst "vanilla" or non-spankophile types, to use that to define us as individuals...

I HATE labels, all labels. But I don't see "spanko" as a label. I see it more as an adjective. It’s kind of like saying that I'm a redhead. It is just a PART of who I am, but it IS a part of me. I'm proud of it!

Dave: I did see her article and pretty much have to agree. I think the term spankophile or the lengthier "spanking enthusiast" just sound classier.

Mary: I like the full spankophile better, but I don't really care. It is simply terminology to me. Yet, I guess the downside to terminology is that the term can then be used as a label and thus disliked. Adjective or noun? A description or a label?

Sally: I like the term spanko. It gives instant identity to those of us who enjoy a particular activity that isn't always so simple to explain. I also very much enjoyed and agreed with your well written manifesto!

Eva: Spanko it is for me. Spankophile sounds negative to me. Spanking enthusiast is okay. However, it's too many syllables for my simple mind. Spanko sounds fun, energetic, and positive. I will be a spanko until the day I die.

Curtis: There’s nothing wrong with the word. Any of those listed in these replies are good, too. Your manifesto was the best outline of what I and many of us feel about ourselves -- but it took a long time and probably the Internet for us to be comfortable with ourselves.

Paul: Mel and I were spankos, as were Mel's parents. It's a partial description – tall, brown hair, blue eyes, spanko.

It's a very inapt label as there are a great variety of us.

Scout: I just read the manifesto and today's brunch topic, together. I'd be a signer of the manifesto and embrace the term "spanko." Sexually descriptive words ending in "phile" evoke the creepy to me, and "spanking enthusiast" seems dowdy and frumpy, too akin to "vintage car" or "hooked rug" enthusiast. Spanking is fun. It's foreplay and it's a connection heightener between a couple. Spanko captures the essence, IMO.

KJ: I also don't like spankophile. Most words with "phile" are negative terms (such as pedophile). I also don't think of discipline when I hear "spanko". I think of toys, play and fun. It's a new word to me as I have only found these sites about five weeks ago.

Bonnie: As I said in the introduction, it never occurred to me that anyone would find offense in this little word. To me, it's light, easy, useful, and fun.

A spanko is anyone with an interest in adult spanking. It's inclusive because it makes no distinction about role, gender, or degree of involvement. There are plenty of synonyms, and I've probably used them all at various times, but none work as well or flow as easily off my fingertips.

Labeling is always an issue, but that concern applies to any term we select.

Spankophile sounds a little too academic to my ear. Spankophilia, the root word, seems like something for which people might seek treatment (and that's the last connotation we want!). Spanking enthusiast certainly works, but it's longer, conveys no additional information, and fails to express the element of fun.

As you might have gathered from the manifesto, I am a spanko to my very core. I'm proud to be called a spanko and delighted to associate with friends who consider themselves spankos.

Self Spanker: I am a spanko. Spankophilia is just one of many paraphilias I heartily endorse.

If you are interested in the other paraphilias I find interesting, please visit my blog for a list.

Jean Marie: I am a spanko. I fantasized about being bared and spanked by a romantic lover long before puberty. I was overjoyed to discover that my long-held fantasies were even better when realized in the flesh.

I am a spanko cerebrally, I think about being spanked often and have no trouble reconciling this with being a feminist. I'm a spanko to the pulsing heart string at the core of my being. I'm a spanko in the pit of my tummy, which gets butterflies at the mere mention of the word, and turns null at the instigation of the deed. I am a spanko from the curved surface of my bubble of a butt down deep, permeating the baby fat and muscle. I'm a spanko to the marrow of my bones, where I've felt the reverberation of many a sound swat. I am a spanko in my sex – Turn me over to turn me on. Spanking is the best foreplay, and sometimes it even goes beyond the preliminaries. A good, hard spanking can rival a mediocre hard cock any day of the week.

I am a spanko not only in the first blush of a relationship, when my heart and my hind-end are tender, when love-pats are the order of the day. But I am also a spanko under duress, be that a lengthy session with the hairbrush or a length of English cane.

I am a spanko because of the similarity to the word "nympho." I long for my panties to be pulled down. I lust to be pulled across his lap. I cream at his intimate caress. I climax at the culmination. I feel driven by a hunger for it. I've plotted for ways to get it. I've planned while my bottom is still burnished how to get it again, harder, longer, with more intensity, and greater passion.

I am a spanko after the heat-making and the love-making. I've thrilled to feel the welts and stare at the marks in a mirror. I've reveled in the need to wince whenever I want to sit. Bruises on my bum are a badge that I wear proudly and a source of arousal.

I am a spanko in the way I dress. Who else would have a wardrobe of tight fitting trousers, short daisy dukes, scandalous skirts, schoolgirl jumpers and drawer after drawer of sexy unmentionables, so as to best show off her ample understanding?

I'm a spanko in the things I collect. I've spent a fortune on a vast array of implements of ass destruction, but I also find beauty in the everyday item. Pampered Chef parties can get me wet with all the well-made cooking spoons and long-handled pancake-turners. A big rubber spatula from Tupperware nearly brought me to orgasm in front of all my friends. A trip to the beauty supply store to check out their wooden hairbrush selection can make me high for a week.

I am a spanko. The Spanko Manifesto eloquently expressed what my brain couldn't formulate and my mouth couldn't articulate, but what has been written in my soul for a lifetime.

Jim: I prefer the term "spankosexual."

Teresa: I used to say I was a freak. So, yes, I like spanko better and I am glad I heard it here.

Spankoe: I like spanko. The only reason I added the "e" on the end of my blogger ID is that one day whilst pondering the enigmas of the universe I realized that if you mix up the letters of the nearest city, they spell Spankoe (have fun now, all you word puzzle fans). What could be a more appropriate nickname for a spanko?

Todd and Suzy: We like the term spanko. The phrase "spanking enthusiast" works too, but it's obviously longer. Spanko is a quick way to convey to other spankos what you're talking about, much like the more specific words spankee and spanker.

Obviously, if you need to be more detailed, or you're speaking to someone outside the community, more words will be needed. But spanko works quite well with its limited goal of expressing a general enjoyment of consensual adult spanking practices.

We agree too about "phile" being a little too clinical sounding, as if perhaps a cure is needed.

CeeCi: I love words. They fascinate and delight me (Ms. Spankoe from Spokane probably finds the same joy).

So, yeah, spanko is just a word. It can have any meaning we choose to attach to it. The first time I encountered the word spanko my gut reaction was how much it made me think of those awful childhood words: “weirdo, wacko, sicko or psycho.” I was new to my exploration and it took me a long time to understand it wasn't a negative term. It still makes me cringe when I read it.

I have no suggestions for a new word or phrase. Spanko works because it has been embraced positively by many people.

I'm not particularly fond of the word 'blog' either, yet I use it. I guess that's the beauty of language.

Anon: "phile" is a common term used in chemistry, meaning to like or to be attracted to. For example, hydrophilic is a molecule attracted to water, usually because it has a like nature. It is unfortunate that many people find it associated with being negative. So in pure scientific terms, spankophile describes those who like or are attracted to spanking perfectly.

Paige Tyler: I never gave it much thought actually. I suppose that since I love spanking, I must indeed be a "spanko," though I never use the word to describe myself or my hubby. I don't think it's derogatory, though.

Mike: Spanko is a wonderful all-inclusive word. Be certain to add it to your dictionary whenever the word is underlined in red. Thus, we have invented a great word.

Jujubees: Spanko says it all. I agree with everyone else who thinks spankophile is a derogative sounding term. To me, spanking enthusiast is also somewhat strange sounding. Too generic maybe? I am a spanko, plain and simple, and I like it like that!

Erica: In this case, I respectfully disagree with Eve. I use it all the time, and I think it works perfectly. It's unisex, too. And I don't associate it with "sicko" or "whacko."

Spanking enthusiast is perhaps a classier term, but spanko rolls off the tongue more easily. :-)

I anticipated some healthy difference of opinion, and of course, wasn't the least bit disappointed. Regardless of whether you consider yourself a spanko, all of your contributions are most appreciated. Thanks go to all of you for making this one of best brunches ever!

I hope you'll join us here again next week for another spanko Sunday brunch.

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Paul said...

Bonnie, I know this isn't usual, but I'd like to thank Jean Marie for her pean of thanks for being a spanko, it was truly beautiful. Thank you Jean Marie.
Warm hugs,

Paige Tyler said...

Great reading, Bonnie!

Paige (Tigger)

Anonymous said...

I agree with Paul in wanting to thank Jean-Marie for her lovely comment.

As for liking the term spanko, it does the job, but I feel it has a slight connotation of madness as in "wacko" (which coincidentally was the name of a TV programme in the UK many years ago with Jimmy Edwards as a cane swinging headmaster)


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