Song Parody: When I'm Really Sore

This spanko song parody is respectfully dedicated to all fans of the Beatles and their song When I'm Sixty Four.

When I'm Really Sore

When I get punished rubbing my rear
Many hours from now
Will you still be giving me the swinging pine?
Birthday greetings line upon line

If I've been out ‘til quarter to three
Would you spank some more?
Will you still treat me, will you still beat me?
When I’m really sore

I could be handy, digging out toys
When you think they’re lost
You can craft a paddle in your old wood shop
Sunday mornings, flicking the crop
Swats in the garden, pay for my deeds
Who could ask for more?

Will you still treat me, will you still beat me?
When I’m really sore

Send me an email, drop me a text
What you gonna to do
Indicate precisely how you mean to flay
Yours sincerely, almost okay

Give me your answer, fill in a form
Sting for evermore
Will you still treat me, will you still beat me?
When I’m really sore

Song Parody: Over Knee

(sung to the tune of Let It Be)

When I find myself in major trouble
Husband Randy comes to me
Swinging boards of wonder
Over knee

And in my hour of soreness
He is sitting right beneath of me
Swinging boards of wonder
Over knee
Over knee, over knee
Over knee, over knee
Swinging boards of wonder
Over knee

And when the paddle roasts my bottom
Carpet is all I see
Spanking is his answer
Over knee

For though my cheeks may be reddened
There is still a chance he’ll set me free
That could be an answer
Over knee
Over knee, over knee
Over knee, over knee

Yeah, there should be an answer
Over knee
Over knee, over knee
Over knee, over knee

Swinging boards of wonder
Over knee
Over knee, over knee
Over knee, over knee

Swinging boards of wonder
Over knee

And when my will is failing
That stinging glow feels great to me
Glow until tomorrow
Over knee

I wake up needing motivation
Husband Randy comes to me
Swinging boards of wonder
Over knee, yeah
Over knee, over knee
Over knee, yeah, over knee

Oh, this will be my answer
Over knee
Over knee, over knee
Over knee, yeah, over knee
Swinging boards of wonder
Over knee

Song Parody: On All Fours ‘n’ Screamin’

This spanko song parody is respectfully dedicated to all fans of the Mamas and the Papas and lovers of their classic tune California Dreamin'

All my limbs are bound
And my legs a-splay
I’ve been on this bench
On a spanking day

I feel safe and warm
When I get whacked this way
On all fours ‘n’ screamin’
On such a spanking day

Up here on my perch
How we pass the day
I get weak in the knees
When he starts to flay

You know my husband likes the heat
He knows I’m gonna stay
On all fours ‘n’ screamin’
On such a spanking day

All my limbs are bound
And my legs a-splay
I’ve been on this bench
On a spanking day

If he is here with me
It’ll be OK
On all fours ‘n’ screamin’
On such a spanking day
On such a spanking day
On such a spanking day

Song Parody: Spank Me

To the tune of "Call Me" by Blondie (1980)

Color red my bottom, baby
Color red my seat
Color red my bottom, darling
I know you bring heat
Spank me to your color chart
I know how you beat a bum

Spank me (spank me) make it fine
Spank me, spank me, anytime
Spank me (spank me) I’ll bend over
You can spank me any day or night
Spank me

Cover me with red marks, baby
Cover me with love
Clip me in designer cuffs
I’ll never get enough
Endorphins come, I don’t know why
Cover up welts alibi

Spank me (spank me) make it fine
Spank me, spank me, anytime
Spank me (spank me) I’ll bend over
When you’re ready, we can swing the pine
Spank me

Oooh, he spanks every naughty girl
Oooh, OTK, cheeky mama, cheeky mama
Oooh, fessée-moi mon cheri, fessée-moi
Anytime, anyplace, anywhere, any way
Anytime, anyplace, anywhere, any day, any way
Spank me

Spank me (spank me) my love
Spank me, spank me, and you’ll tan my hide
Spank me (spank me) and ring my chime
Spank me, spank me into overtime
Spank me

Spank me (spank me) my love
Spank me, spank me, any, anytime
Spank me (spank me) and ring my chime
Spank me, spank me into overtime
Spank me (spank me) on my bum
Spank me, spank me, in a sweet design
Spank me (spank me) spank me for one too many alibi
Spank me (spank me) make it fine
Spank me, spank me, anytime
Spank me, ah-ha, spank me, Ah-ha-ha
Spank me, ah-ha-ha, spank me any day or night
Spank me, ooh-ooh-ah-ha-ha, ooh-ooh-ha-ha-ha
Spank me, Ah-ah-ooh

Spank me, my, my, my sweet behind
Spank me ‘til I’m fried, be my guide
Spank me, ah-ha, spank me, ah-ha
Spank me
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ah-ah-ah

Song Parody: Spanking Time

With all respect to Semisonic and thanks to my husband for the concept...

Spanking time
Time for you to lie down over my lap
Spanking time
Stick your butt up, like every naughty girl
Spanking time
Panties fall and bare it all, so be ready for swats on your rear
Spanking time
You don’t have to love it, but you must stay here
I know how I want to make you glow
I know how I want to make you glow
I know how I want to make you glow
I know how I want to make you glow
Make you glow

Spanking time
Time for you to learn, those hard lessons that must be taught
Spanking time
You thought you might escape, but now you’ve been totally caught
So gather up your daring, and don’t you start that swearing
I hope to light your end
Spanking time
Every new punishment leads to another sorry girlfriend
Yeah, I know how I want to make you glow...

If you are unfamiliar with the original version, you can find it here.

Song Parody: Bohemian Spanks-for-Me

This is without question the most challenging spanko song parody I've ever attempted. It's really more of a loving tribute than a true parody. But it just had to be done...

Bohemian Spanks-for-Me

Am I a bad wife?
Must I go panty free?
Caught in a white lie,
No escape from my husband's knee

Open my eyes,
Look up from his thighs and see,
I'm just a sore girl, I need no sympathy,
Because I'm OTK, let it go,
Spank me high, spank me low,
Any way my rump glows
Doesn't really matter to me, to me...

Papa,
Just killed my plan,
Used a crop out in the shed,
Whacked my bottom, now I'm red
Papa... thought it might be fun,
But now I've gone and thrown his belt away

Papaaaaa, Ooooo
Didn't mean to make me cry,
If I'm can't sit again this time tomorrow,
Carry on, carry on as if butts don't really matter

Too late, my man has come,
Sends welts down to my thigh,
Bum is aching all the while

Goodbye, everybody, I touch my toes,
Got to show my bare behind to my Babe Ruth
Papaaaaa oooh, (Any way my rump glows)
I don't want to cry,
Sometimes wish I wasn't spanko at all

(Guitar solo)

I see a little dancing vision of a girl,
Sore behind, sore behind...
Where did your underpants go?

Wonder belt is biting, very, very frightening me!
I'm a spanko, I'm a spanko
I'm a spanko, I'm a spanko
I'm a spanko, Watch me glow (Magnifico)

I'm just a sore girl, everyone spanks me,
She's just a poor girl from a poor family,
Spare her her rear from this monstrosity!
Spank me high, spank me low, will you let me go?
Big Bathbrush! No, we have to make you glow
(Let her go!) Big Bathbrush! We have to make you glow
(Let her go!) Big Bathbrush! We have to make you glow
(Let me go) Have to make you glow,
(Let me go) (Never) Have to make you glow
(Let me go) Have to make you glow
(Let me go) Ah
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

Oh Papa please, Papa please, Papa please, let me go
Beelzebub has a paddle put aside for me, for me, for meeeeeee!

So you think you can flog me and make me comply?
So you think you can tie me and leave me to cry?
Oh, baby, can't do this to me, baby,
Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here!

(Guitar solo)

Nothing really matters,
Anyone can see,
Nothing really matters,
Nothing really matters to me...

Any way my rump glows...

A Collection of Seasonal Song Parodies

We've presented quite a few original spanko song parodies over the years. Here's a dozen oldies that I hope will bring to warmth to your holidays.

Let It Glow
My Favorite Stings
The Spanko Christmas Song
Pink Christmas
We Wish You a Very Sore Ass
Whack Us All
Wacky Smacky Christmas
The Twelve Days of Spanko Christmas
Leather Belts
Santa Tawse is Coming to Town
Spanko Wonderland
Sting Me Well

Song Parody: The Telegraph Hillbillies

I freely admit this is silly.

Come and listen to a story about a gal named Red
Poor spanko girl, never been out to the shed
Then one day she was shopping for some food
And up from aisle three came a big strapping dude
Top, that is
Strong arms, leather belt

Well, the first thing you know, lil Red is getting bare
Neighbors said “Be quiet over there!”
Said “San Francisco is the place you ought to be”
So they loaded up their stuff and moved to Ash-bur-y
Haight that is
Herbal tea, hippie love

Yes, I do know that Telegraph Hill is miles from H-A, but it fit into the title better than any of the closer hills. In case it isn't obvious, I love the spanko city by the bay.

Song Parody: The Sounds of Spanking

This is probably sacrilege against the gods of music, but it's just so much fun!

The Sounds of Spanking

Hello soreness, my old friend
You've come to sit with me again
Because a paddle I was feeling
Left its mark while I was kneeling
And my bottom that is glowing from the canes
Still remains
Within the sound of spanking

On mattress springs I stayed prone
Crimson marks were all my own
With the striking of a hair brush
I turned my bottom to avoid the blush
When my cheeks were shocked by the crash of a wooden swat
It felt so hot
And announced the sound of spanking

And on my naked flesh I saw
Ten dozen welts or maybe more
People spanking without counting
People baring without coaxing
People wearing skirts that flip up anywhere
And tales to share
About the sound of spanking

"Ouch", said I, "You do not know
Soreness like a wildfire grows
Feel the burn that it might teach you
Take the sting that I might reach you"
But my words, like loopy johnny fell
And echoed
In the halls of spanking

And the people bent and played
With the leather toys they made
And the strap cracked out its warning
In the marks that it was forming
And the sub said the truth is these spankings are helpful to us one and all
So face the wall
And listen to the sounds of spanking

Sung to the tune of The Sounds of Silence by Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel

Song Parody: Sting Me Well

I love to sing and traditional Christmas carols hold a special place in my heart. For the past two years, I have posted seasonal song parodies (to the point where some readers actually begged me to stop).

As a salute to the holiday season, here's a variation of Jingle Bells that you may not have heard.

Sting Me Well

Lashing to and fro
On a sawhorse made for play
Oh my cheeks they glow
Jiggling all the way
Whacks on my tail sting
Making colors bright
What fun it is to spank and sing
A flaying song tonight

Oh, swat me well, swat me well
Swat me all the day
Oh, what fun it is to ride
On a sawhorse made for play
Swat me well, swat me well
Swat me all the day
Oh, what fun it is to ride
On a sawhorse made for play
I realize that I posted a slightly different Jingle Bells parody in 2005, but I like this one better.

Song Parody: Spanking Time

Randy mentioned to me last night that it's been ages since I posted a song parody. As usual, he was right. Therefore, to head off any perception that I might have forgotten my musically inclined readers, I present Spanking Time. It's suitable for crooning in the shower or dungeon. Spanking Time is sung to the tune of the very popular song, Closing Time by Semisonic. I hope you enjoy it.

Spanking Time
Spanking time
Time to get her rump out and show it off now to the world
Spanking time
Turn up the temperature on the bottom of your favorite girl
Spanking time
You know she deserves it all, so paddle her right on the rear
Spanking time
Can’t wait ‘til you get home, so you must spank here

I know how I want to make her glow
I know how I want to make her glow
I know how I want to make her glow
Make her glow…

Spanking time
Time for you to redden both sides of her sweet curvy bum
Spanking time
She just lies there waitin’ for you to play her just like a drum
So gather up your hairbrush and slap it on her bottom
I hope that you start a trend
Spanking time
Every new fantasy comes from some other fantasy’s end

Yeah, I know how I want to make her glow
I know how I want to make her glow
I know how I want to make her glow
Make her glow…

Spanking time
Time for you to redden both sides of her sweet curvy bum

I know how I want to make her glow
I know how I want to make her glow
I know how I want to make her glow
Make her glow…

Spanking time
Every new fantasy comes from some other fantasy’s end

Song Parody: Pledge Paddle

Do you remember Peter Gabriel? Back in the eighties, he recorded a fun song named "Sledgehammer." It was very popular and had an excellent claymation-style music video.

Tonight on our stage, the Paddle City Quartet will recreate that magic, complete with an extra dash of spanko spirit. So, sit back and enjoy the melodious refrains of our newest classic tune, "Pledge Paddle."

Pledge Paddle You could have a big pain If you'd just lay down for whacks You could have a hairbrush flying If I bring my forearm back All you do is call me I'll spank any time you need You could have a big hitter Going up and down, all around the bends You could have some bottom marks, thumping This amusement never ends I want to be your pledge paddle Why don't you call my name Oh let me be your pledge paddle This will be my testimony Show me round your backside cos I will be your honey bee Uncover your backside Where the sting is as sweet as can be I want to be your pledge paddle Why don't you call my name You'd better call the pledge paddle Put your mind at rest I'm going to be the pledge paddle This can be my testimony I'm your pledge paddle Let there be no doubt about it Pledge pledge pledge paddle I've picked up floggers Stripe your skin This is the new buff You go dancing in, we go dancing in Oh won't you bend for me And I will spank for you Bend for me, I will spank for you Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I do mean you Only you We've been swatting through Going to build that power Build, build up that power, hey I've been beating your bottom I've been beating your bottom Going to feel that power, build in you Come on, come on, help me do Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you I've been beating your bottom I've been beating your bottom It's what we're doing, doing All day and night

Keywords: spanking song, spanking songs, song parody, spanking

Song Parody: Spanko Wonderland

Christmas is rapidly approaching. We're surrounded, it seems, by inescapably bad holiday Muzak. While many people might find this aural assault cause for dismay, I actually draw inspiration from it. No, I don't feel inclined to spread a message of universal brotherhood. My response is to take another of these old classic melodies to the proverbial woodshed. So, here's another MBS exclusive Christmas spanko song parody. Please feel free to sing along.

Spanko Wonderland Grey belts zing, are you listening? On my bum, marks are glistening A beautiful sight We're playing tonight Swatting in a spanko wonderland Gone away are the white cheeks Here to stay are the bright cheeks I wore a pink thong We just can’t go wrong Swatting in a spanko wonderland In the bedroom we can pile some pillows Then pretend that it is Central Park He'll say: Are you sore yet? I'll say: No man But you can do the job Here in the dark Later on, we'll desire Love takes wing by the fire First spanking then sex Our romance we’ll flex Swatting in a spanko wonderland In the basement we can find a paddle And pretend that I’m a naughty gal We'll have lots of fun as I skedaddle ‘Til my love puts me in his corral When love glows, ain't it thrilling? Though my rump gets a grilling We'll frolic and play, whack winter away Swatting in a spanko wonderland