When I was little, my father used to watch a black and white television show called "The Outer Limits." It was undoubtedly the weirdest program on TV in those days. Naturally, I wanted to join him and find out what happens. He would inevitably warn me that it was going to be scary. I mustered my courage and told him that I was a big girl and I wasn't afraid.
Well, anyone who has ever seen that show can guess what happened next. Every week, they had a really frightening looking alien monster who jumped out and menaced the local townsfolk. At the first sight of this grotesque beast, I screamed and cried and hid in my bed (where I would be afflicted by monster infested nightmares). Nevertheless, I usually returned the following week for more.
For this week's brunch, we're going to explore our own Outer Limits.
Do you and your partner have hard limits with regards to spanking activities? Are there some things you simply won't try or won't try again? Please describe what you consider to be your limits.
If you would like to contribute your thoughts to today's brunch, I encourage you leave a comment below, send me an e-mail, or post a response on your own blog. Once everyone has provided their responses, I will publish a summary of our discussion.
14 comments :
For me, it was the Grither from a Christmas episode of "Tales from the Darkside." I still quiver at the thought of it.
I don't, however, quiver at the thought of anything CP. My husband and I have always known we were spankophiles, and it's one of the things that brought us together, but we had about a year's hiatus due to work and schedules. Now that we're back at it, our enthusiasm is very high. I want to do and try everything I haven't tried yet. But before I met him, I had sworn I would never allow myself to be caned, and now it's my favorite implement. I think limits are flexible. They are as much about mental space and partnership as they are about personal preference. A few months ago we tried to have a spanking session and I wan't ready for it. I was very limited. Now I'm ready for anything!
I knew I didn't like monster stories -- I wasn't one of those persons who liked to be scared. The only time I liked scary movies was as a teenager - and then it was only because it provided a very suitable excuse for snuggling with my boy friend. I am much the same with spanking -- although I do like those anticipatory butterflies - I like to know what is coming. And thus - I agree the limits are flexible. We pretty much talk a lot. Today, I can say I have done so much more than I would have dreamed up sexually. However, the outer limit for us seems to be getting a true commitment from my guy.
For me, the Twilight Zone as soooo scary!
Just testing cuz my comment didn't make it to yesterday's post about Scout.
We had a 2 1/2 year hiatus from spanking, due to privacy issues. My partner finally arranged for us to spend an afternoon at a borrowed apartment, just for a spanking. He even checked out the wooden implements at the apt and selected a wooden spoon for use on me. (It broke, btw. ) That opened a lot of doors for us both.
Now, I would not dream of limits, because I really want to push the envelope, explore new possibilities. Every session is a chance to try something new or go a little longer or harder.
I guess if I had to come up with something I would be hesitant to try, it is being spanked in front of other people. But even that would depend on the circumstances.
Thanks for brunch!
Hermione
for right now the cane is the implement that i'm not willing to try. having said that i would consider it with the right person. so i do have limits but i'm flexible as well. lol my lover gets upset when he sees bruises on me. i remind him that i enjoyed the spanking very much and it just marked the spot. this too shall pass. both twilight zone and outer limits scared me to nightmares but i would watch again. lol jammin33333
Ahh, memories, memories - me, too! We are the same age, and it shows.
I like what I consider the "spank" part of it really, so that is where I prefer to remain and what drives my limits. I don't want to try the cane, a switch, birches, or a whip. I'm thinking of a crop, but that goes back and forth centered completely on the question of whether it's possible to land with just the little tabby part on certain delicate places...not the stick part! If it was important to my partner, I would be willing to gently experiment to see if my limit is real since I have no experience with those, but I'd prefer not to. With the exception of the crop question, I also prefer the spanking action to stay on my bottom and upper thighs - very upper thighs, sometimes straying close to my more feminine charms. I'm not one who revels in it crawling up my back, down my thigh or off to other parts. I have very traditional, domestic spanking fantasies and I think my desires and my limits reflect that.
Bonnie, Mel and I didn't think much about limits. The only thing that springs to mind is that she feared the cane, that was only used for the most serious offences and can't have been used more then six times. Our spankings were mostly good girls, we were so in tune that I knew her limits without even thinking. Our D/s was mostly service oriented and not at all BDSM.
Warm hugs,
Paul.
Dear Bonnie,
Ryan said...
I don't think there are any limits as far as the spankee (me) is concerned (within injury free-limits). A spanking is not necessarily or at all enjoyable. It's a lot of pain administered in such a way as to teach a proper lesson. For a bottom to say things are outside his "limits," is precisely the point. A spanker, of course, sets her own rules. But real spankings (and not fetish play) really begin when limits are crossed
THE BELT. Yes it deserves capitals!! I've had some very very very bad experiences in the past with the belt and I don't like it - in fact I go into hysterics even watching someone take off their belt in front of me. I mean real husterics.
But apart from that? I can be talked into most things - some thinge are just learned reactions I guess - a symbol of good/bad things to come.....
Good question, Bonnie!
galros
Bonnie, I really like this question because it shows how much we are all alike while at the same time we each like and don't like different things. I know at this time I am willing to try anything Nick might suggest. I might not say that if he were the hardwired spanko!
I hear about whipping on the breast, feet, back and it has never appealed to me. I am not planning to suggest the cane either but at the same time I am opened to any suggestion my honey has. In fact I love it when he has new ideas and he can be assured that I will go along at least for a try!!
PK
I disagree that a spanking only starts when limits are crossed. There is a difference between having boundry lines and enduring pain. For me - the belt is a favorite - but if I felt like galros about it - I wouldn't want it used -EVER. Another implement can cause as much or more pain if discipline is the reason for the spanking. Doing something that evokes psychological discomfort or crosses itimacy boundries is not needed. It is only by respecting those boundries have I grown to trust my partner to eventually be caned or have my breasts spanked. Had he jumped ahead just to prove he was in charge I would have left the relationship.
For us I would say there are not truely limits, just things that one or the other of us isn't comfortable with. We share and talk a lot so we know where we stand on different things. We do evolve though and things that perhaps weren't intersting a year ago or more, may be on the menu this year. Currently the things we're not ready/interested or one of us has objections to are canes and corner time.
Carye
When I first started out I had quite a few hard limits but they have fallen by the wayside as my experience and curiousity grew.
First of all I am talking about limits with a very trusted partner.
We have agreed to never use any implement such as a bullwhip or even a cat of nine tails that easily injures skin. We are also careful with canes and switches.
When we use restraints we don't use anything that will rub the skin raw.
But our biggest hard line is we never send one another away after a punishment spanking. I know there is lots of disageement about this but I don't see the point in sending someone to a room by themselves after they have been spanked and forgiven. Spanking is a loving, caring experience in my mind and aftercare includes lots of holding and cuddling. Since we are switches we both use these rules.
The one other line is about public or private spanking. While we don't have much experience we agree that being spanked in front of other is fine in a play sense but that punishment must be done privately unless someone else was involved in some way.
Great question Bonnie and by the way I loved the Outer Limits!
I’m a little surprised to hear so many brunchers say they have few or no limits. We have a number of them. Here are some examples:
- Spankings should be directed at my bottom and *maybe* the very tops of my thighs.
- Cuts and blood are bad. They ruin the fun. We steer clear of toys that tend to break the skin.
- No positions that make my back hurt.
- No little daddy’s little girl stuff. The whole incestuous molestation thing is way too weird for me. I’m willing to pretend to be an older teen who can make her own decisions, but even then, it’s not with a family member.
- No single tail whips. I know there are experts who can apply them with great precision, but these toys are too dangerous for us.
- No serious physical injuries. This may seem obvious, but it’s worth stating anyway.
- No outing ourselves to friends, neighbors, relatives, or co-workers. It just isn’t worth it.
I don’t mean to suggest that anyone else’s limits or lack thereof are not precisely as they should be. Each couple must find their own best arrangement. These are not solely my limits, but rather firm guidelines we both accept. Randy can and does stretch my boundaries in terms of pain and endurance. He plays with my head in all manner of creative ways. But when it comes down to these fundamental issues, we completely agree.
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