Spanko Granny Rap

OK, I hear you. I need to post.

Spanko Granny Rap

Swattin' my tail Doin’ it right Blowin’ full gale Saturday night Strippin’ me nude Bendin’ me down Heat continued Stings all around Livin’ the life Punishment time A lucky wife Pay for my crime Those paddles burn Right where I sit Lessons I learn Finally submit My soul's alive My pain is real Could not contrive It hurts to heal Here together Life in the now Makin’ it better Showin’ me how My correction New attitude Our connection Big gratitude End the evening So sore and red Go with my king Lead me to bed

Song Parody: The Sounds of Spanking

This is probably sacrilege against the gods of music, but it's just so much fun!

The Sounds of Spanking

Hello soreness, my old friend
You've come to sit with me again
Because a paddle I was feeling
Left its mark while I was kneeling
And my bottom that is glowing from the canes
Still remains
Within the sound of spanking

On mattress springs I stayed prone
Crimson marks were all my own
With the striking of a hair brush
I turned my bottom to avoid the blush
When my cheeks were shocked by the crash of a wooden swat
It felt so hot
And announced the sound of spanking

And on my naked flesh I saw
Ten dozen welts or maybe more
People spanking without counting
People baring without coaxing
People wearing skirts that flip up anywhere
And tales to share
About the sound of spanking

"Ouch", said I, "You do not know
Soreness like a wildfire grows
Feel the burn that it might teach you
Take the sting that I might reach you"
But my words, like loopy johnny fell
And echoed
In the halls of spanking

And the people bent and played
With the leather toys they made
And the strap cracked out its warning
In the marks that it was forming
And the sub said the truth is these spankings are helpful to us one and all
So face the wall
And listen to the sounds of spanking

Sung to the tune of The Sounds of Silence by Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel

Song Parody: Sting Me Well

I love to sing and traditional Christmas carols hold a special place in my heart. For the past two years, I have posted seasonal song parodies (to the point where some readers actually begged me to stop).

As a salute to the holiday season, here's a variation of Jingle Bells that you may not have heard.

Sting Me Well

Lashing to and fro
On a sawhorse made for play
Oh my cheeks they glow
Jiggling all the way
Whacks on my tail sting
Making colors bright
What fun it is to spank and sing
A flaying song tonight

Oh, swat me well, swat me well
Swat me all the day
Oh, what fun it is to ride
On a sawhorse made for play
Swat me well, swat me well
Swat me all the day
Oh, what fun it is to ride
On a sawhorse made for play
I realize that I posted a slightly different Jingle Bells parody in 2005, but I like this one better.

Song Parody: Spanking Time

Randy mentioned to me last night that it's been ages since I posted a song parody. As usual, he was right. Therefore, to head off any perception that I might have forgotten my musically inclined readers, I present Spanking Time. It's suitable for crooning in the shower or dungeon. Spanking Time is sung to the tune of the very popular song, Closing Time by Semisonic. I hope you enjoy it.

Spanking Time
Spanking time
Time to get her rump out and show it off now to the world
Spanking time
Turn up the temperature on the bottom of your favorite girl
Spanking time
You know she deserves it all, so paddle her right on the rear
Spanking time
Can’t wait ‘til you get home, so you must spank here

I know how I want to make her glow
I know how I want to make her glow
I know how I want to make her glow
Make her glow…

Spanking time
Time for you to redden both sides of her sweet curvy bum
Spanking time
She just lies there waitin’ for you to play her just like a drum
So gather up your hairbrush and slap it on her bottom
I hope that you start a trend
Spanking time
Every new fantasy comes from some other fantasy’s end

Yeah, I know how I want to make her glow
I know how I want to make her glow
I know how I want to make her glow
Make her glow…

Spanking time
Time for you to redden both sides of her sweet curvy bum

I know how I want to make her glow
I know how I want to make her glow
I know how I want to make her glow
Make her glow…

Spanking time
Every new fantasy comes from some other fantasy’s end

Song Parody: Pledge Paddle

Do you remember Peter Gabriel? Back in the eighties, he recorded a fun song named "Sledgehammer." It was very popular and had an excellent claymation-style music video.

Tonight on our stage, the Paddle City Quartet will recreate that magic, complete with an extra dash of spanko spirit. So, sit back and enjoy the melodious refrains of our newest classic tune, "Pledge Paddle."

Pledge Paddle You could have a big pain If you'd just lay down for whacks You could have a hairbrush flying If I bring my forearm back All you do is call me I'll spank any time you need You could have a big hitter Going up and down, all around the bends You could have some bottom marks, thumping This amusement never ends I want to be your pledge paddle Why don't you call my name Oh let me be your pledge paddle This will be my testimony Show me round your backside cos I will be your honey bee Uncover your backside Where the sting is as sweet as can be I want to be your pledge paddle Why don't you call my name You'd better call the pledge paddle Put your mind at rest I'm going to be the pledge paddle This can be my testimony I'm your pledge paddle Let there be no doubt about it Pledge pledge pledge paddle I've picked up floggers Stripe your skin This is the new buff You go dancing in, we go dancing in Oh won't you bend for me And I will spank for you Bend for me, I will spank for you Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I do mean you Only you We've been swatting through Going to build that power Build, build up that power, hey I've been beating your bottom I've been beating your bottom Going to feel that power, build in you Come on, come on, help me do Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you I've been beating your bottom I've been beating your bottom It's what we're doing, doing All day and night

Keywords: spanking song, spanking songs, song parody, spanking

Song Parody: Like a Brat Over Piled Pillows

For today's entertainment, we will corrupt a genuine pop classic. Most of us quadragenarians recall a Simon and Garfunkel song named Bridge Over Troubled Water. It was a wonderful song, both musically and in terms of its supportive message. It still is. However, the reverence we feel for the tune and the artists who created it is not sufficient to prevent the MBS Swing Ensemble from taking a whack at a special spanko rendition. Ready? OK, everybody sing...

Like a Brat Over Piled Pillows

When I'm weary, feeling small When tears are in my eyes I will cry them all You'll tan my hide When times get rough And lotion can't be found Like a brat over piled pillows I will lay me down Like a brat over piled pillows I will lay me down When I'm on all fours When I'm on the bed When paddles fall so hard You will punish me I'll take your swats When spankings come And pain is all around Like a brat over piled pillows I will lay me down Like a brat over piled pillows I will lay me down Wail on lover man Wail on me My time has come to glow All my dreams are O-T-K See how they show O'er your lap I'll bend I'm smarting right behind Like a brat over piled pillows You will roast my hide Like a brat over piled pillows You will roast my hide

Keywords: spanking, spanking song, spanking humor