Spanking Survey

Here's a bit of fun.

Spanking Survey
Have you ever been spanked?:	Only a couple of thousand times
Do you like to be spanked?:	Absolutely
Are you bad?:	I'm very good
Are you spanked over your pants or are pants and undies pulled down?:	All of the above
What is your favorite thing about spanking?:	The hot lovemaking that follows
Do you get spanked hard?:	I think so
What position are you in when getting spanked?:	Whatever Randy decides
What do you like to be spanked with?:	It depends upon the mood, situation
Do you all get spanked?:	I'm just one person, and yes
Who spanks you?:	My husband, Randy
How long does the spanking last?:	Until he thinks I've had enough
When is the last time you got spanked?:	Friday
Do you spank yourself?:	Very seldom, but I have
Do you have a spanking fetish?:	Um, yeah, I'd say so
After your spanking is over do you still act bratty later on?:	Probably not
How hard do you get spanked?:	Sometimes, I still feel sore a day later
Have you ever gotten your butt belted?:	Yes
Have you ever gotten your butt paddled?:	Yes, we own several paddles
Have you ever gotten spanked in public?:	Yes
What do you get spanked with the most?:	Probably a paddle or hairbrush
On a scale of 1-10 how much does the spanking hurt?:	More than a bee sting, less than childbirth
Do you feel you deserve it?:	I totally deserve it
What do you get spanked for?:	Foreplay, fun, stress relief, because he wants to
How many times have you gotten spanked?:	Thousands
How many times does the spanker spank you during the spanking?:	It really varies a lot
What do you do to deserve them?:	Being a loving partner (and a total spanko!)
Have you ever gotten spanked in front of your friends?:	No
Have you ever gotten your butt caned?:	Yes
Do you like the pain of the spanking?:	Usually
Have you ever gotten spanked with a wooden spoon?:	Yes
Have you ever gotten spanked with a hairbrush?:	Yes, often
Have you ever asked to be spanked for something you did wrong?:	Not exactly
Is spanking a big part of your everyday life?:	I run a spanking blog with over 900 posts
Do you get spanked more than once a day?:	Sure
How often do you get spanked?:	A couple times per week on average
Is your butt red and sore afterwards?:	I hope so
Do you spanked gently or hard?:	Hard most times
Have you ever gotten spanked with a sneaker?:	Yes
Do you believe in spanking?:	Only for consenting adults
Have you ever been spanked so hard that you started to cry?:	Yes, but it's very rare for me
At what age did you start getting spanked?:	By Randy at 19
Do you still a get spanked?:	Oh yeah
Do you think that spanking is a good punishment?:	That's not part of our relationship
Have you ever gotten spanked for swearing?:	Yes, but it was in fun
Do you think spanking is fun?:	Absolutely
What does the spanker say to you before your spanking?:	Read my accounts
Have you ever gotten spanked for getting bad grades?:	Nope
Have you ever gotten a spanking for no reason at all?:	Those are the best kind!
Have you ever gotten spanked by a teacher?:	Only in role play
Is your butt spankable?:	So I am told
Who spanks you the most?:	Randy
Is spanking your hobby?:	That's a fair statement
Do you want a spanking right now?:	I guess so
Do you get lectured during the spanking?:	Sometimes in role play
Have you ever gotten spanked with your butt in the air?:	Yes
Have you ever gotten spanked so hard you butt was swollen?:	Yes
Have you ever watched someone else you know getting spanked?:	Not in person
Do you hate spankings?:	Of course not
Have you ever spanked someone:	No, that's not my role
Did they learn their lesson?:	N/A
How many people spank you?:	One
Is spanking allowed in your family?:	There are only two of us who live here
Have you ever been spanked with more than one spanking instrument?:	Certainly
Have you ever gotten spanked for lying?:	Not that I recall
Have you ever gotten spanked for cursing?:	I already answered that question!
Take this survey | Find more surveys Bzoink - The Original Survey Site

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for June 29

Our topic for this last brunch in the month of June was attributes of an ideal spankee. Here are your thoughts.

Prefectdt: All my experiences of topping are of switching with a fellow bottoms/subs.

The best spankees who have come under my lash are communicators, those who have no problem telling their top what they want. What is enough? What is too much? Where do their hard limits lie? Do they want role play or just get a good butt warming? Does it always have to be a disciplinary spanking or do they like it for fun sometimes?

Basically, an ideal spankee is one who does not expect their spanker to come with a crystal ball and has no problems with saying what they do and don't want. Also, it’s a spankee who has no hang ups about having a safe word, at least for the first couple of plays until you are used to playing together.

Dr. Ken: A really good spankee, to me, would actually be a combination of almost all of those things, being able to mix and change them from time to time so that the spanking experience is not always the same. So they may resist one time, but not the next, and act bratty one time in order to earn a spanking, and another time simply tell me she needs one.

The one trait I absolutely would NOT want is stoicism. I gauge a lot of what I do upon the spankee's reactions. Therefore, I want them to verbalize, or squirm, or kick. I want the feedback.

Spanking someone who just lays there like a log without moving or uttering a sound is, to me, boring. I might as well go out into the parking lot and whack a Buick.

Daisy: I think he kind of likes a little resistance. This gives him a further purpose for the spanking, bringing me back to submissiveness. When I submit, he knows he has achieved his goal. Then he adds more just to prove the point.

With brattiness, he knows the difference between when I have forgotten my place, through temper, etc., and when I am acting up just because I WANT a spanking. Sometimes, in the second situation, he thinks up other punishments instead, to get the better of me... Grr!

Again, he knows I am stoic to begin, and when he reduces me to whimpering, then squealing, then crying, then acceptance, he knows he is getting through my stubbornness...

Depending on the type of spanking, I can be either reluctant or enthusiastic. I would be asking for trouble to be enthusiastic for a punishment spanking. He would think he wasn't being harsh enough! Whereas, mmmm.... erotic...

He likes me to collect implements but he also likes to surprise ME with new ones! He loves that I am turned on by a spanking, even a punishment spanking...and likes me to show gratitude afterwards....

I am not allowed to try to influence the spankings though.

morningstar: I don't know. But in my humble opinion, spankees are all those things. It just kind of depends upon which day it is, or what their spanker wants from them.

There are times when I am quiet and deep inside of myself. Sir knows those moods and does not try to solicit any enthusiastic responses. On other days, I am feeling bratty, or devilish, and I am eager to dance the dance of the flogger. So, I am very verbal and demonstrative.

I would think that spankees in general can be all of those things or none of those things. The trick comes from the pairing up those qualities with spankers who seek such qualities.

Hermione: This question is best answered by spankers, but I'll try it from a spankee's point of view.

The ideal spankee is submissive and does not attempt to influence the course of the spanking. S/he has a good tolerance for pain, and although stoic on the whole, is also capable of expressing non-verbal appreciation. The spankee is enthusiastic about spankings: before, during and after, and that includes collecting implements that both spanker and spankee would enjoy.

The ideal spankee is definitely turned on by the experience, and freely and sincerely expresses his or her gratitude, both sexually and in other ways. I think a kiss on the spanker's hand is a nice gesture.

Does the spankee keep a blog? That's a matter of personal preference. Not everyone has the time, talent or inclination to tell the world how wonderful spanking is, but a good spankee will make sure the spanker knows how much s/he enjoys it.

Paul: A good spankee must be able to communicate both verbally and non-verbally.
They should be a hard wired spanko, love fun spankings,be very turned on by them, and accept discipline ones with fortitude.

Sub, bottom or average, the good spankee is a happy, loving fun-loving individual.

Neither spanker nor spankee should take themselves too seriously. After all, you are in a spanking partnership.

Sherryl: I would like a submissive spankee. There should be no brattiness. As for the strong tolerance for spanking or sensitivity, I don't know. I would like it if they respond loudly and enthusiastically when I punish them. I would like it if they also collected implements, especially the more painful ones. No, they wouldn't influence the spanking and they would cry. As to rather they were turned on or not depends on what kind of spanking it is. Yes, they would in an appropriate way, and yes, they would blog about their spanking and I would be watching them as they do it.

Susan: I strive to be the perfect spankee so that my D gets the greatest pleasure when he deals with my bottom. Actually, most of the time, so do I. There is no need for me to “brat.” If I am to have my bottom tanned, it is D who decides when and how. It is not negotiable. He will indicate the pose he requires. It is up to me to fine tune it, so that my rear end is perfectly presented to him with just the right tightness and exposure. I choose my clothing with care. If it is to be a caning, I wear a pair of skin tight jeans. Otherwise, he likes skirts that he can turn up to expose brief sexy knickers which he can pull down if he wishes. As for tolerance, I can take quite a lot, but D has a good idea of my limits. I trust him not to go too far, even when I am restrained, and I do not ask for mercy. Occasionally, however, I may struggle to keep my bottom well offered to him. Sometimes, I find new implements, which I present to him, to see if he will honour my bottom with my choice.

My bottom is his to deal with, and he has been doing so with some vigor for a long time to our mutual enjoyment, despite minor sitting problems afterwards!

G: I must say, in all seriousness, that I have the "ideal" spankee in my life. To answer your questions in order, I'd have to say...

She's submissive during a distinctly punishment spanking, but playfully resistant during any other spanking. She doesn't act all that bratty, but does have a way of letting me know she really wants a good bun warming from time to time.

She's hardly a stoic (except during real discipline). She wiggles, kicks, puts her hand back, and "begs" me to stop from time to time. Loud? I don't know. But verbal and actively participating? You betcha!

She LOVES to collect implements, and points out potential new additions even when we're somewhere "vanilla" (She can find an implement in nearly any store...) :-)

She tries, but fails, to influence the course of a spanking. It's part of the dance and we both enjoy it immensely.

No tears yet, but they seem to be on the horizon. No worries either way.

She is quite demonstrative of her gratitude, from curling up in my lap to getting quite sexual afterwards.

Does she blog? You betcha! We share a new blog and write of our experiences from both points of view.

Brat V: As a spankee, I am a combination of all of these things. It depends upon the type of spanking that's going on. The only thing I am NOT is quiet. LOL Spankings hurt and I just can't take them quietly.

Some days, I'm bratty (more often than not, but only for fun, of course), and most of the time, I'm very turned on. Sometimes, I cry and sometimes I don't. I have done everything the question asked at one time or another.

And as far as collecting implements, I have LOTS! LOL Of course, that's to be expected since I'm the one who introduced my dear hubby, J, to spanking. It came quite naturally to him. LOL He's a great spanker. He's told me that if I was quiet or too still, that it just wouldn't be any fun. He likes reaction. LOL

GF: I think an ideal spankee is one who doesn’t pressure her spanker to respond to a website question. LOL Other than that, I some resistance is expected. But the spankee, Ms. Daisy, knows that it will bring more insistence to the game. She should respond as nature tells her. Being stoic is not usually the best response. A reluctant partner is expected only when it is a discipline spanking. Otherwise, enthusiasm is welcome. Yes to gratitude and blogging is always welcome.

Bonnie: I can describe the spankee I aspire to be. I seek to be a willing partner in whatever Randy wants to try. I have lots of suggestions and he is often receptive, but the time for those is not when a spanking is in progress. It works much better if I submit and graciously accept his stinging gifts.

I tend to not react too much until the pain becomes intense. Then I may yell or struggle, but I generally stay in place until Randy decides my bottom is appropriately toasted. I make it a point to demonstrate my gratitude afterward, because I am truly grateful that he has taken the time and invested the effort to give me what I crave.

I think one other element in being a good spankee is recognizing and appreciating how much fun spankings can be. We laugh often, sometimes even in the middle of a spanking session. It’s easy to fall into the trap of making spankings stern, serious business. While there’s a place for that, most of our spankings are pleasurable, if not downright lighthearted.

I Gal: I am always the spankee, so I can share what I believe are admirable traits. These are some that I strive to possess:

1. Submission to include change of heart and attitude after disciplinary spankings.


2. Loving lecture before, during, and after disciplinary for the same reason as submission.


3. Fun and adventuresome in our erotic spankings

My hubby works on improving all of these and much more. This is why DD works very well for us. It is a work in progress. We are always looking for ways to be more loving and successful in both the physical and mental aspects involved in spankings.

Thank you, everyone, for sharing your viewpoints. I hope you will join us next Sunday when spanking will again be at the top of our brunch menu.

MBS Spanko Brunch #128

Several months ago, we considered the traits of a great spanker. At that time, a reader asked whether we could discuss the attributes of a great spankee. Well, fair is fair, and this is the week.

What do you consider to be the ideal traits of a spankee? Would they be submissive or would they resist? Would they act bratty? Would they have a strong tolerance for spanking or would they be more sensitive? Would they be stoic or respond loudly? Would they be an enthusiastic or reluctant participant? Would they collect implements? Would they try to influence the course of the spanking? Would they cry? Would they be turned on by the experience? Would they demonstrate their gratitude. Would they blog about their spankings?

If you would like to join our brunch discussion, please feel free to fill your plate, pull up one of our nice padded chairs, and have a seat. You can enter your thoughts as a comment below. Once everyone has had a chance to speak, I will post an edited summary of our discussion.

Five Million Hits

Wahoo! Five million hits! How cool is that?

OK, so how does one celebrate five million of anything? If twenty five is silver and fifty is gold, I suppose five million must be satire. If that's not right, I'll take my spanking later. But for the purpose of this commemorative post, satire it shall be.

I've provided MBS stories, tutorials, and brunches in the form of convenient drop down boxes on the right side of the page. If you haven't looked around, I invite you to tour these highlights. The goofy stuff, however, is randomly sprinkled through two and half years of posts. Until now, that is.

A lot of my satirical material is based upon a fun, albeit frivolous, assumption that recreational spanking is as mainstream as golf or quilting. What would such a world be like?

Well, there would be restaurants, resorts, festivals, fairs, museums, comedy routines, and competitions. There might also be seats of higher learning, and spanking research facilities.

For media, we would have news, classic game shows, television networks, and even radio. Magazines might include horoscopes, etiquette columns, know your (spanko) partner tips, vocabulary builders, and suggestions for naming paddles.

Naturally, we would need home decorating suggestions and consumer products as well.

No spanko's calendar would be complete without National Erotic Spanking Month and Romantic Spanking Month. If that were enough inspiration, this poster would surely make one's imagine drift toward visions of sweetly reddened flesh.

This imaginary world would be a very different place, but I'm quite confident that we'd all fit in quite comfortably. OK, perhaps not all that comfortably, but it would be fun!

Thanks to you, my dear readers. Your continuing support makes this venture worthwhile.

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for June 22

Our brunch topic this week was determining how much spanking is enough and how much is too much. Here are your thoughts.

Ms. Betty: When I spank someone, how much is enough and how much is too much definitely depends upon the person and the reason for the spanking. There are a lot of variables every time. No two sessions are ever the same. This is why I never use set numbers of swats or a set amount of time. I start with deciding what reactions I want to reach, then spank until I get them.

In very, very vague terms, for a fun spanking, I spank until the spankee feels sated. For punishment, I usually stop when there has been the proper amount of pleading and crying, the bottom is a deep enough shade of red and you can feel the heat in their bottom about an inch above the skin. Personally, I think it becomes too much when the skin starts to bruise badly or other injury develops. However, that is merely my personal taste.

Dragonmage: Ms Betty is very right here. There are many variables and no two spankings are ever the same. I have started a spanking with a set number, but I tend to not do that now. I look/listen for a result now – the moans indicating a spanking for pleasure has done its job, or the crying indication that a spanking for punishment has done *its* job. I do try to avoid bruising luvbunny as much as possible, but I like to see that lovely shade of red. ^_^

Daisy: I guess really this is mostly a question for spankers, not spankees! LOL But I agree with both the above comments. From a spankee’s point of view, though, I would not be happy being spanked by a stranger (e.g., these spanking parties I have heard about) as I feel trust and knowledge of each other are paramount to success. For example, I can SOUND very penitent and be sobbing, but if the spanking stopped, I would be disappointed. I might even feel cheated. But my BF recognises other signs, nuances I am actually not aware I make, body language, etc. He continues until he KNOWS he has really achieved his aim, to make sure I KNOW who is boss around here! Every spanking is different, and not just because of the type (fun, erotic, stress, discipline, punishment, reconnection, etc.), but also the reason, and the mental/physical/emotional state of both parties.

When the spanker does not know the spankee, I assume they go by the reaction of the spankee and the state of the area being spanked. There would be less emotional connection, so I presume they would rely more on physical signs.

Personally, though I like to have the redness stay a good while, and proudly display a few bruises (as a trophy!) to give that residual ache for a day or two, I do feel that the huge welts caused by canes, etc., are not so appealing, and broken skin is a definite no-no.

Olivia Manners: The purpose of the spanking has a large influence over how I experience it and what I can take.

If I am being disciplined, I really am sorry. The tears can flow more easily and I feel the spanking a lot more readily. The pain does not ease as much into pleasure, but into letting go of guilt and feeling forgiven for having endured it. The formality of a discipline session is also likely to increase my nervousness, which in turn can heighten how much I feel it. I was going to say lessen how much I take, but for discipline, it is more about having to take whatever I deserve.

If I am being spanked for fun or for being a “good girl,” then the how much is usually concluded by one or more climaxes and when my bottom is a suitable shade of pink. There have been occasions in this context where I have worried about his hand more than my bottom. :)

Across all of my spankings, I think there are other things that can affect how much I take. These include:

• Words such as, “You are taking this very bravely,” that make me want to endure more or a loving and tender, “Good girl, I do love having you across my knee,” that make me feel proud and want to take more


• The variation and order in which implements are being used


• How much of the time my knickers spend up, and then down!


• My monthly cycle

The only time when none of the above applies is when it is not about how much is enough for me, but how much is enough for him because my bottom is for his pleasure.

We have never used a safe word. He just knows where and how far to take me through the familiarity, connection and trust we have built up and I am always amazed and grateful at how he is able to do this. Like Daisy, I can't imagine how this would work with someone with whom I didn't have this connection. That’s because there is so much more than the physical/ formulaic signs of it being enough (redness of the bottom, protests, yelps, moans, tears, and the obvious arousal). It is the how much I can take mentally and emotionally that makes it so powerful.

Paul: All the above have brought out the one essential point.

Having never been to a spanking party or indeed spanked a stranger, so I cannot speak about those situations. But I think that the spanker NEEDS TO KNOW the spankee intimately.

Sure sound, gross body movements, colour are all aids, but it's the subtle body language that tells me when her needs have been filled or the punishment achieved its aim. It's always a learning process as the spankee grows and changes, the spanker must observe and learn. It is a dance of love and strength.

Hermione: This is something I have wondered about too, because I'm not a spanker. I've never been in the position (sorry!) of having had too much. As long as I'm clearly enjoying it, it isn't enough.

Our regular spankings generally follow the same pattern. They have gradually increased in duration, at my request. They go on for the same length of time, whether I'm in a state of bliss or distress depending on the implement involved. That's not a bad thing, because I can squeal or wriggle and not be afraid Ron will take it as a sign to stop.

The spontaneous spankings that happen during our love-making are totally unstructured and, while shorter, are often more intense. Ron decides when we'll move on to some other activity, and he always keeps me guessing.

Tina: Just today, we had a session during which I felt kind of lost and overstrained. It is hot here, and we had played quite intensively the two days before. I think my hubbie always realises such things. Still, there were some minutes when I would have preferred cuddling and no more pain.
We don’t have a safeword, because he always cares and watches, and I would not have used it today anyhow. I rarely ask him to stop, but if I do, I just use plain words. He then stops and does less painful things, and it hasn’t ever destroyed a session yet.

However, I wish I could judge my needs better and tell my hubbie in advance on days like today. Maybe, that is a matter of time and I will learn it one day. We often talk about these things and that’s what we did today too. The trouble is that for spankings and stuff to be perfect, the spanker needs to be in charge. So he can’t just stop whenever there is some whimper, especially not with a spankee like me, who loves to cry and whine.

So, in summarizing, I agree with Paul. The players need to know each other well and they need to communicate.

Alice: This is a difficult question. It seems to be a fine line. I am also a spankee, not a spanker, but He always seems to know. We don't have a safeword. He has, at times asked if I have had enough. I usually don't know. Sometimes, I think it is too much, but when He stops, I think I want more. He has always said He would rather leave me wanting more than take me too far.

Paul is right though. I think the spanker needs to know the spankee intimately.

Mike: For us, it varies each time. Sometimes it is hard and sometimes gentle. Sometimes, it's for long lasting sting, and other times it’s just for a quick little kick start.

How much is enough? When the right juices get flowing. How much is too much? When the spanking stops the right juices once they are flowing.

Stacy: My boyfriend and I are new spankos and we have been experimenting.

For me right now, too much is to the point where I cry. I haven't done so yet, because I am rarely punished (even though he threatens me plenty) or hit hard or long enough.

Enough is to the point where I am moaning with extreme pleasure, because at that point he's all over me.

Soma: I am also a spankee, and like others, my spanker always seems to know when it's enough. Most of my spankings are for discipline/punishment at present. However, I recently had a spanking just because I really was in the mood to be spanked. When it's for discipline, he always decides. But during the recent spanking, he asked if I felt I needed to be spanked more. At the time, I was not sure because I usually don’t decide. I honestly did not know, so the spanking continued. Afterwards, I was able to actually say that when he first asked, it would have not been enough. I wouldn't have felt satiated at that time like I was at the end.

I definitely have not reached a point where it has been too much yet. I think, like Stacy, it would likely be the point where I cry because I have a pretty high pain tolerance and, in general, I rarely ever cry from physical pain.

I am still pretty new to spanking, only having been spanked a few times, and my current spanker is a new partner, so we are still figuring it out. But we are definitely enjoying figuring it out along the way!

Greenwoman: My spanking needs vary a good deal. Lots of things affect my pain tolerance. These include how much pain I'm already in, hormones, mood, and so forth...

Enough is when I'm ready to safe word. When I get to that edge, then I've had enough.

Frankly, I don't know how he tells. I'm busy experiencing. I am sure that my skin tone and wriggles have a lot to do with his assessments.

I'm not a very experienced spanker. I've only spanked two men with any intention of giving some pain. There was a third, but that was a sensual spanking only. There was NO pain involved. With one person, his skin got cold when spanked and turned pale. He also sunk deeply into subspace. He seemed almost asleep. I never did find his edge. The second man was for one occasion only. He didn't have a particularly high tolerance for pain. I quickly found his edge. I danced on it awhile and stopped. He was pink and happy later. His signals were flinching and redness.

Rosy: It definitely varies from spankee to spankee and situation to situation. We never use spanking for discipline, but often for therapy or sensuality. Because of this, I almost always end the session by clearly letting my husband know when I am sated.

If for therapy, he knows to stop when he can feel the tears coming – or when my body relaxes. If for fun, he'll either ask me when my skin is all red, or I'll push myself free to... give him my thanks. Sometimes wiggling is part of the game, so it's always when I insist on pushing free. He's always watching for the end of our session, so I've never even been afraid of receiving too much. :)

Elle: It really does vary, doesn't it? Still, that's what keeps things fun and exciting to me.

The only personal point I want to add is that I always think I want far more than I can handle... until it starts. *giggles*

Bonnie: Randy knows me better sometimes than I know myself. This is especially true when I am draped across his lap and dancing beneath his loving swats. He sometimes takes me further than I think I want to go at that particular moment, but it’s very rare that he actually exceeds my limits. As others have said, this kind of familiarity comes from years of experience together and plenty of discussion.

Randy tells me that he monitors my breathing as much as any other sign. The depth and rate tip him off as to my true state. I’m not entirely sure how that works, but I can assure you that his technique yields effective results.

Thanks, everyone, for your insightful answers. I hope you’ll stop again next Sunday when we put brunch on table and spanking talk on the agenda.

MBS Spanko Brunch #127

Welcome back, one and all, to another weekly installment of our spanko brunch. The topic for this week comes from our friend, Jessica. She wonders about where and how to draw that all important line.

How much spanking is enough? How much is too much? How does a spanker know? Does it vary from one session to the next based upon purpose, setting, mood, reaction, or other factors?

If you would like to add your thoughts to our discussion, and I hope you will, all you need to do is enter a comment below. Once everyone has had a chance to speak, I will post an edited summary.

Poll: Spanking Partner

If you were in a position to start a new relationship, would you consider a potential partner who had no interest in spanking? Never, never, never! Probably not Only for a very special person Perhaps, under the right circumstances Sure, it's not that big a thing for me Spanking? Are you serious? Current Results

Redness in Paradise

Randy and I recently enjoyed a much awaited escape from our daily drudge. It was great fun and there were plenty of spankings involved.

I knew this was going to be an interesting trip before we ever left home. As we were packing our respective suitcases, Randy announced in a matter-of-fact tone, “I’m only taking one implement this time.” I recall being pleased that his mind was on my bottom. I expected he would finish his thought and tell me what he had in mind, but his monologue moved on to more mundane topics.

Curious as always, I returned to the subject as he drove to the airport. “So, what was that one implement you said you were going to pack?”

“Heh,” his wicked smile made me feel slightly uneasy. “It’s the teardrop paddle… and I buried it in your suitcase.”

Great. This particular wooden paddle is a very effective spanking tool. It’s solid hardwood and delivers an intoxicating mix of sting and thud sensations. But the prospect of getting a hard spanking wasn’t what worried me. This toy is one that couldn’t possibly be mistaken, even by the most vanilla observer, for anything but a paddle designed for spanking. The rounded edges, extra thickness, smooth finish, and heavy varnish clearly indicate an implement meant for smacking someone’s bottom and not any sort of ball. If the government maintains a database of spankos, I’m now officially listed.

My mind quickly jumped to visions of having to answer for my kink in front a panel of humorless uniformed security officials. What, I pondered, if they thought it was a weapon? I mean it is, sort of. Right?

Fortunately, we checked our bags and passed security without any questions. Throughout the flight, I wondered whether I might yet be interrogated at our destination. When I whispered my concerns to Randy on the plane, he laughed at me.

“What do you think they’ll do? Spank you? You should be so lucky.”

I had to laugh myself at this improbable scenario. “But what if they confiscate our paddle?” I inquired.

“Then I’ll just have to find something else to beat your butt,” he said in a voice that was a tad too loud for my comfort.

When we reached our destination, we retrieved our luggage without incident. The paddle police, at least for this day, seemed to have other priorities. The resort where we stayed features individual units set back in the woods. I was pleased to see this arrangement because the paddle can generate a lot of noise (as can I on occasion!). Quite naturally, we were tired from the long trip. We enjoyed a light dinner and then decided to turn in.

After all these years, Randy knows me in every way a man can know a woman. He knew that a nice, brisk hand spanking would be just the thing to settle my nerves, relax me, and help me get to sleep. He was right, of course, and after some gentle lovemaking, we drifted off to vacation dreamland.

The following morning, we shared a quiet breakfast in the main lodge and then wandered back to our unit. As soon as Randy closed the door behind him, he announced that it was paddling time. I might have preferred to allow my meal a little time to settle, but he is in charge of our spankings. At his instruction, I stripped and then positioned myself face down over the arm of a large overstuffed chair. I shivered with delight as he assumed his role as dominant disciplinarian.

“Young lady, your behavior of late has left me no choice. For cases such as yours, the only corrective measures that seem to work are those that involve corporal punishment.”

I watched as goose bumps arose on my arms. He was pressing all my buttons.

“Yes, I am going to have to use the paddle. I had hoped it wouldn’t have to come to this.”

I thought that seemed unlikely, but I played along.

“I will now give you the spanking you so richly deserve. This is likely to be very uncomfortable for you.”

With that warning, he proceeded to smack my upturned bottom with the teardrop paddle. This particular paddle is solid hardwood and its shape is somewhere between the classic paddleball toy and a Jokari. It works equally well for standing, bending, and over the lap spankings. Even light to moderate strokes are sufficient to focus the recipient’s attention. Randy wasn’t yet swinging at full force, but he started off with a series of painful swats. Before long, I was squirming in place. The paddle issued a loud report with each mounting blow. I squealed and kicked my legs, but I loved every moment.

Without the constraints of time, Randy apparently felt free to vary the pacing and the intensity of my paddling. I’m not certain how long I was actually bent over that chair, but it sure seemed like a long time. He would talk to me for a while, deliver a bunch of swift swats, and then casually return to his one-sided discussion. I’d love to share what he said, but by this stage, I was off in my own happy spanko place.

When he decided that I had had enough, Randy tossed the paddle aside. He knelt down next to my ear and told me that he loved me. He brushed the hair away from my face and kissed me sweetly. He rubbed my very sore bottom. I found all of this attention a tremendous turn on and I was ready to jump into bed (or wherever else he might please). That outcome, I soon learned, would have to wait a while longer.

“Let’s go swimming!” my man announced. I was quite unprepared for that turn of events.

“C’mon, Bon, get your swimsuit on.”

By this point, I understood his game. He wanted to parade my red bottom around the grounds. He knows this is a scenario I both love and hate. I am a little bit of an exhibitionist, but I fear the consequences of having my kink revealed. I complied with his instructions and donned my new salmon and cream-colored, one-piece bathing suit. When I bought it, I recalled thinking that just because I am a grandmother doesn't mean I have to be unattractive. When I recognized that there wasn’t enough pink fabric to cover the freshly reddened flesh beneath, I made a mental note to settle for the grandma look the next time.

Just as I pulled my cover-up around my waist and started to fasten it, Randy gave me a disapproving look. “Do I have to spank you AGAIN?” he exclaimed. I quickly abandoned that strategy and grabbed a towel for the pool.

I felt both nervous and turned on as we walked out the door of our unit and onto the wooded grounds. I didn’t see anyone around except a groundskeeper and he seemed busy with his gardening pursuits. We reached the building with the pool without incident. The pool, however, was already occupied by two other couples. One man was swimming laps. A woman sat in a chair and read the newspaper. The other couple huddled in one corner and laughed quietly.

Careful to keep my crimson globes pointed away from the other people, I set down my towel and waded into the pool. Once in the water, I felt safe. The cool water was soothing to my well paddled posterior. Randy joined me there and we embraced in about four feet of water. He started kissing me. I threw my arms around his neck and returned his affection. His hands, meanwhile, wandered to his favorite part of my anatomy. Concealed by the water, he grabbed, kneaded, and squeezed my bottom cheeks. The resulting combination of pain and pleasure was excruciatingly delightful.

Eventually, both couples packed up and left the pool area. We were alone. We momentarily pondered the concept of intercourse in the water, but decided it was too risky. That didn’t keep us from sharing a lot of sexy touching.

When we exited the pool, there was no one else around. I asked Randy whether my bottom was still red and he told me it wasn’t. It certainly still felt sore, so I wasn’t sure if I could believe his assessment. As a precaution, I tugged at my suit in back in hopes of maximizing its coverage.

Upon returning to our unit, we quickly doffed our respective swimwear and let nature take it course. The ensuing sex was energetic and fulfilling. It was the perfect completion to all of the morning’s events.

There were several more paddlings during our time away, but this is the spanking I will most fondly remember.

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for June 15

Our topic this week was the difference between expectations and reality for new spanking enthusiasts. Here are your thoughts.

Dragonmage: I think the biggest surprise in our case was that Luvbunny *wanted* to be spanked. We had experimented a little with spanking shortly after we got married, but she didn't like it then. I had read about spanking for a while before we tried again, but I somehow didn't think about a warm up the first time (oops).

Better than we anticipated? You bet! Despite my inexperience, I must have done something right because she orgasmed from the spanking (and some fingering).

There was a bit of bruising (likely because I didn't give her a good warm up). That was a "bad surprise." Luvbunny wasn't able to wear her swimsuit for a few days.

Good luck to you as you try this. I hope it's everything you expect and more.

Anon VII: Our biggest shock, after her daring me to spank her for fudging on her diet at a party and then my telling her to lift her skirt and grab her ankles, was the high that followed and obliterated any memory of what happened between the time the first of five blistering swats from the long paddle tore with no warmup into her cute little panty-clad bottom and the time we woke up together in bed the next morning. Whatever happened, it must have worked, since we're still together after 35 years, countless spankings of far more refinement and infinitely varied sorts, and a grown daughter later.

Prefectdt: Two things surprised me.

1. How much it really hurt and how much I desired the next strike as soon as the feeling from last one started fading.


2. That the spanking was a desirable entity in it's own right. At the age of 19, all my fantasizing about spanking had been sexually related. To find out that the spanking took me into a mental world of a delightful high and was a thing that could be enjoyed as a separate experience was a big shock.

DG UK: I think the only thing that surprised me was that it was real! I was no longer a description, writing, or fantasising. We had talked about it a great deal, and that seemed to enhance the feeling of anticipation as well as the warmth and coziness I associate with spankings. I remember a younger woman telling me about her first spanking and saying in a surprised voice, "it hurt" But, of course! I was nervous about how it would feel, but the pain I felt was delicious, smarting, tingling heat and growing soreness. The surprise was how naturally I seemed to fit on, over and round him, the other surprise was how much I could take. The latter is no longer a surprise, the former a joy that I never take for granted. There were no bad surprises, except for how quickly my skin got used to it after that first one. I don't mark as I used to, and I loved the embarrassment of my "marks of honour" for the days after that first spanking. So, to your reader preparing to receive her first adult spanking, I hope you enjoy it every bit as much as I did and that you have such delicious memories.

RPT: Turning fantasy into reality has been an amazing roller-coaster of a ride.

The first big shock was the pain, it did not hurt half as much in the fantasy. Then, there were the marks and bruises. We had not really thought much about that side of a spanking at all. Now I cope with the pain. I even like it in a perverse way, and I mark and bruise less as I have been spanked more.

The other surprise was how easily we fall into role play characters and scenes. We did think we would feel foolish and not want to do it, but it's really good. We play for whole weekends and it works really well and is superb fun.

Daisy: The surprise? I always wanted to be spanked, but the sexiness I dreamed of was of him TAKING control, without me RELINQUISHING it. I would be belligerent and defiant to the end. Yeah, right. In reality, his voice deepened, his eyes narrowed and bored into me, he demanded obedience and with a shudder of delicious anticipation, and butterflies going to war in my tummy. I quickly found myself caving in to him.

Although I dreamed of being spanked beyond my limit, I always really thought I could stop it by crying. Men can’t resist tears, can they? (Ummm... Wrong again!) The only "bad" surprise, was, although I tried to convince him it really hurt, (And, yes! It DID!), the redness faded so quickly that he didn’t believe me! So a second spanking followed soon after! Ha ha ha!

It was wonderful. It was all I had dreamed of and more. And although he had reservations about whether he could do it, he found that he loved the feeling of "power" and of seeing my bottom wobble and redden. My squeaks of pain spurred him on and my orgasm partway through clinched it. Spanking was here to stay.

I had a little wobble of trepidation when I discovered I was not "controlling him controlling me." I HAD truly lost control (unless I used the safeword...). It was scary, yet liberating beyond imagination. ENJOY!

Olivia Manners: As it happened in such a spontaneous way, the fact that it was happening at all was the real surprise! Even though we had spoken at length about how it might be or what we would like to happen, I really hadn't imagined that it would, or certainly not when or in the way in which it did.

I didn't expect it to feel as natural – the sense of closeness and everything falling into place, and the feeling that I belonged across his knee. It’s something that I love hearing him say even now. I probably thought I would be more indignant or resistant, but I made no fuss at all. The sense of rightness I got from being so compliant was unexpected.

I also hadn't expected to be able to take as much as I did that first time. He used his hand mostly but also a leather paddle, a taste of the riding crop, and even some strokes of the cane. That was a shock! So too was noticing how I enjoyed the pain and how I was able to cope with it.

I had imagined pink and sore bottom cheeks and some cane stripes, so I was wholly unprepared for the deep purple moons that I had on my bottom for well over a week.

So, in every sense, it was a lot more than I bargained for! I can't say better than I had anticipated as I hadn't anticipated it, but everything was richer, deeper, more arousing, more life-affirming than I had ever imagined.

A first time is a really wonderful thing to be sharing with someone, and I hope that it is such an occasion for your reader, Bonnie.

Maryann: I have only received two weekends of spankings so far, so the newness is still very fresh for me. I was/am surprised at the depth of joy and closeness I feel with my man, especially just after a good, hard spanking, when he holds me. I love that! Also, I was really surprised at how bruised I got that first time. He was really horrified at the condition of my bottom, so he won't play quite that much in one day any more!

I have also been very surprised at the depth of emotion it has opened in me. I'm learning a lot about myself. It takes tremendous trust for me to bare my bottom to a big strong man, but it feels so good! The release I feel is deeper than just physical or even sexual. I found I craved it intensely after the first time, but now I am finding I need some time to absorb the enormity of how it is changing me. I am very grateful and happy. Best wishes to all the newbies among us (myself included)!

Hermione: Bonnie, hosting brunch was a pleasure and an honour! Everyone had a wonderful time but we all missed you. Now on to today's topic.

The first surprise was the pain. Fantasy spankings don't hurt; real ones do. But they hurt so good!

The next surprise was that, while I had only thought of being spanked while over someone's knee, there are plenty of other positions that are equally efficient.

Finally, I was pleasantly surprised to find that my husband gets just as much pleasure from it as I do. I still think I get the better end of the deal, but he's quite happy doing what he does so well.

Amy: Unfortunately, I was disappointed with my first spanking. It had always been my fantasy, not his.

Over the years, I had hinted and bratted in hopes that he would spank me. However, when I did finally get the courage up to talk to him about it, using Bonnie's website as a stepping stone, I felt it took away from the first time he actually did do it. Part of the fantasy for me was for him to take control for a change. So the first spanking didn't hurt at all and was really quite dull and without any emotion.

The spankings have gotten better over time. However, he still doesn't understand it totally. I know I could attempt to explain it to him again, but to be honest, I get tired of having to dictate what I need. That may sound mean, but I have gotten tired of being the creative one all of the time. Sigh...

Paul: Being a spanker, I have a different take on the question. The first time I spanked my wife was on the ferry to France and our honeymoon. Mel was 18, just that day. We had waited four years for this day. Mel was as taut as a violin string. She wanted me to take her, hard and fast. I was tempted, but I wanted our first time to be memorable, so I explained and said “no, wait.”

Waiting was never Mel's strong suite. Mel didn't like it and her language became strong, not f***ing and blinding because she was well brought up, but casting doubts on my paternity and my love for her and even my sexuality. Considering that she had just solemnly promised to honour and obey, I put the pillows from the bunks on the bottom bunk, flipped her skirt up and her knickers down and spanked her, hard, much to her surprise.

I joined her in the bunk, held her in my arms, within five minutes she was asleep. Our wedding night was indeed memorable and she was very grateful that I spanked her and didn't give in. That is when we discovered the calming affect of a stress-buster.

I don't know if this will help your reader, Bonnie, but it will serve to remind her that spanking can serve many ends. Chuckles!

Anon: Although I had been spanked in the past and knew it was integral to my sexual and personal being, I had been out of experience for quite something like 15 years until the breakup of my marriage! It had been very vanilla. I determined that the next time around, I was going to be totally honest about my spanking passion/needs/desires!

I met my partner on the net and had sent him a tawse as a present before meeting for the first time! At that meeting /date, I was more fixated on him as a person than spanking, but when he brought the tawse to the restaurant and showed it to me, I made the comment that he could not use it there! When he replied he could use it anywhere he chose, I knew I was in the hands where I needed to be!

The surprise of the first spanking, like so many others have said, was the extent of the bruising. Initially, I was horrified, but now I long for it! Alas, they just do not appear on this leather-like bottom any more!

The second surprise that I experienced was that I was much more aroused and able to take a more severe spanking when I was verbally chastised at the time of the spanking than when not!

Now, many spankings later, I continue to be surprised at how much the spanking hurts and, at the time, I want it to stop. Yet the after effects of a good hard spanking are so much more pleasurable than those of the short soft ones!

I so much appreciate this blog! Cheers to fellow Canadian Hermione for last week!

I will show my response to my man now and I will undoubtedly have a very sore bottom this afternoon! Happy Father's Day!

Tina: I thought there were many surprises. Like some of the others, I thought, and still think, that the pain is terribly heavy in reality. In my dreams, the pain was lovely. In reality, it is frightening. In a dream, it is possible to imagine that the male dominates. However, in the dream one certainly has 100% control of any detail at all times. In reality, without this kind of control, the spanking may be harder than expected, or longer, or it happens when one is very tired.

Finally, unlike one of the other people, I was surprised by how much spanking and sex mix. In my dreams, there used to be pain and lust, but no sex in the narrow sense.

All in all, reality is still much better than all the dreaming I did for decades!

Greenwoman: It wasn't until after my first spanking that I started to fantasize about spanking. Before that, my kink fantasy was always bondage, not spanking. Now I want a spanking all the time. *grins* I didn't expect a spanking to feel so erotic or to be such a stress buster. I thought it would be intensely humiliating. It’s not. I feel very honored by it. I expected to feel bruised up too and I wasn't. I think the sex is always better following a spanking too!

New Beginnings: After I had come out to Nick, but before he spanked me for the first time, he made the point that while I might have liked the idea of spanking, the real think just might not be to my liking. He almost had me convinced, or at least a little worried. But this time, Nick was WRONG! I loved it from the first time we tried it, and it only gets better.

Terry: The one thing that surprised me about the first real spanking she gave me was how quickly fear gave way to incredible excitement at being over her knee.

I didn't expect scoldings to hurt so much! Scorn in Mistress's voice is as bad as a switch to me. And I thought even punishment spankings would feel erotic to me. Wrong! I hate being in trouble, period. What didn't I think of before hand? The reality of it. EEP!

Everything about real time was better! It’s more intense and personal. It’s a shared experience.

Bad surprises? I’d say the intensity of my first punishment. She set me on fire.

Girl: What surprised me? I wouldn't exactly say surprised, but what I found a challenge was that my partner and I have very different ways of using terms. He prefers to refer to me as a good girl at most times unless I've actually been a "naughty girl" whereas I enjoy being called a naughty girl on the occasion for fun. So, what I've found to be a challenge is tying together the ends of our interests and fantasies and making them as one.

What may have surprised me was how loud I can scream. That was a surprise. As a side note, I constantly thought of myself as someone who could be dominated in the bedroom but not in other aspects. I am now actually beginning to feel, after having been collared, that I am someone who enjoys having someone to call Sir on a more frequent basis.

Come what may, I’m glad you’re still with us.

Elle: My first spanking from a boyfriend was at an age when he barely knew what sex was, let alone understood my kink. To say I was an early developer may be understating it. He was nervous and afraid of this strange seductive girl begging him to smack her and it was all very embarrassing.

However, my last partner was the first one who ever spanked me as I wanted it to be. The thing that surprised me was just how perfect it was. It hurt just in the right way and he knew what I wanted and read my body very well.

The only unpleasant thing is that I remember being convinced everyone who looked at me could tell. I thought they somehow KNEW. It's a strange feeling, but you might find out what I mean.

So, overall, I would say the most important thing is actually with whom you are doing it. If you love and trust this person, it should be a good experience, despite whatever surprises befall you.

I've got a new (very new) boyfriend and things are shaping up to be even better than the last one. *grins* Hopefully, you get off to as good a start as we have!

Big D: I've had three big surprises in my spanking journey: First, how much it aroused me (I went into it originally as strictly a disciplinary matter). After meeting the love of my life last summer, my other two surprises were: (1) that he agreed to try spanking me, and (2) how much he truly enjoys it. Now we're trading sexy spankings as part of our best-of-our-lives romantic fun.

Bonnie, your blog has been the biggest help in my spanking journey. Thanks tremendously for it!

You’re very welcome, Big D!

Lucy: My first real spanking experience was with Jekyll when we were in our late teens. It was actually a disappointment, and I was embarrassed that I had asked. We went on to have many memorable spankings. I think it's important to recognize that fantasy and reality don't always match up perfectly. A first spanking isn't always perfect, especially if both partners are new to it. Communicate and remember, if at first you don't succeed, spank, spank again!

~K: Opportunity wasn't easy to come by when I first started talking about spankings with my hubby. So, although he was all for it, it was a while before we got to try it. Until then, he really spiced up our sex life telling me naughty stories of how he would enjoy spanking me. When we finally got to try it, we were both a little disappointed by the actual experience. The important thing was that we talked about it after. Communication is really a necessity with spanking.

I wasn't really surprised by the pain that most others have mentioned. I don't find it all that painful. Of course, we only spank for fun and erotic purposes. Hubby tries out any new toys and starts each spanking slowly and builds up the intensity. Even from this limited experience, I am quite sure the pain of a real punishment spanking would shock me. Last night's new toy, a bamboo bath brush, could quite easily be painful with very little effort on his part. It wasn't long before I told him we could use that one for a bit of variety, but it just isn't suited for extended use.

What did surprise me was how much I would crave more. It started out just a fun addition to foreplay, with only his hand and a crafty leather paddle I made. I never expected to have any interest in trying a belt or anything made of wood. Hubby and I were equally surprised when I expressed curiosity about his belt and even more surprised at how much I liked it. He has no doubt it's my favorite, but I don't think he really comprehends just how good it feels.

Another surprise was how spanking for even just erotic purposes has led to me recognizing the balance of power in our relationship was skewed with me being too much in charge. A family therapist told us all this a while back, but I wasn't buying it then. There are plenty of reasons for it, but I have started talking to my husband about it and offering him his well earned position as head of our household. I don't think punishment is in our future, but even just being open to considering a mild discipline relationship surprised me. That was something I had never thought of.

As for bad surprises, the only one we've had is my reaction to the idea that I made my husband feel he needed to beat me to keep me happy. He and I both know this is as far from the truth as you can get and just a poor choice of words. He wanted reassurance that he was meeting my needs, and I overreacted to his use of the word "beat" in the way he phrased his question. But misunderstandings can happen so easily with spanking. That's why communication is so important. We worked through it without too much trouble, but there have been a few emotional days. In the end, though, on my rear end, it's really worth it.

Good luck to the author of your question and any other newbies out there.

Mary: I think it both hurt more and less than expected, if that makes any sense. I did get a warm up. I found out I hated the corner, and the thing that still kind of gets me is how it is fine to be totally nude together, but having my panties pulled down still feels embarrassing.

Michelle: It hurt more than I thought it would. I anticipated the sting, but not so much the pain. And I could take more pain than I realized. Also, the pain wore off faster than I imagined, and a hand is a lot more painful than I thought. I bruise a lot faster than I imagined too.

I-Gal: The first time that J spanked me was everything I hoped it would be and more. He started using his hand and then took off his belt to use as well. The sound of his belt ripping through the belt loops as he pulled it out of his trousers gave me so many mixed emotions: anticipation, excitement, and of course some fear. Those same emotions continue to this day. J has mastered spanking and just when I think I cannot take any more, he spanks longer. The man knows exactly what I need and exactly when I need it. I melt into his arms after he spanks me. He is the master of his domain. What do couples do who don't spank?

PM Duo: The biggest surprise was how much it hurt. He was pretty reluctant to try, so I figured he wouldn't spank hard. Boy, was I wrong! The other thing that surprised me was how much I enjoyed the feeling of him being in control and how good it felt to be over his knee.

Terpsichore: I was so happy to share my fantasy with my husband and even more happy when he was receptive about it. I was overjoyed that even just talking about it and taking little baby steps improved our communication and our intimacy. What I did not expect was to have to wait so long before receiving my first real adult spanking. Every couple is different and, for us, the process is going very slowly. Before sharing the fantasy I was fine, but after, I wanted it so much more. Fortunately, there are lots of friends out here to talk with and learn from. Wish you the best... :-)

Love 4 Her: I have only had a few spankings with the wooden spoon. They were more playful on her part than serious. The last time was when she caught me lying on the bed naked on my belly looking out the window. She surprised me with the scolding and several playful taps. She is usually not so verbal and that added excitement.

The real spankings I have experienced have been playful and quick. My fantasy spankings are much more drawn out and thick with anticipation and longing and scolding. She really does not understand my need for a spanking, nor my desire to have the limit pushed, even possibly to the point of tears on my part. I very much want to submit.

What she gives I love, but I wish for so much more than she can understand and therefore be capable of giving. It is just not her kink, but I hope that somehow she can grow into it.

Another Mary: This is all new territory for my husband and me. After letting his all-too-subtle hints and random smacks sit unanswered for over twenty years of marriage (!), I took an opening he gave me in a funny voice mail when I was traveling about punishing me for ignoring his calls and finally admitted that I desperately wanted him to spank me.

The first time wasn't much of a spanking, compared to quickly following later ones. But yes, it did really hurt, but so much hotter and more exciting than I ever expected. The whole experience was far beyond what I ever imagined. I was actually afraid I might be disappointed, but not so! For us, spanking is all about sex, as Bonnie would say, and maybe I'm not so surprised how the spanking has charged up the sex, but the intimacy and fun back in our relationship is such a joy too.

Talking, as everyone says, makes all the difference. I had to encourage my husband to spank me as long and hard as I wanted, to reassure him that he wasn't really hurting me, or maybe only in the best possible way! It still amazes me sometimes that we're actually talking about and doing something that apparently we've both always wanted to do – though it took him some time to admit that he never thought it possible that I would want him to actually spank me and that I would love it. He thought spanking was just a fantasy. So now we're talking about other fantasies that we might bring to life!

The only real surprise, as someone said earlier, was how much actually spanking makes me crave more and more (and I think for him too...)

Bonnie: I think what surprised me most about our earliest spankings was how much fun they were. Even though these spankings were very sexy, we laughed a lot. In retrospect, perhaps nerves played a role in our response, but it was still delightful fun!

The originator of the question wrote back to say:

It’s fun reading all of the responses. They confirmed some things I guessed might be the case, and I learned some things I did not know to expect. I feel more confident now in taking the next step and I'm definitely looking forward to it!

Thank you all for your wonderful answers.

MBS Spanko Brunch #126

Welcome back to our weekly brunch here at MBS. I must extend a big thanks to Hermione who was kind enough to host brunch #125 in my absence.

Our question this week comes from a loyal reader who is preparing to receive her first adult spanking.

What most surprised you when moving from fantasy to actual playing? What didn't you expect? What was not as you thought it would be? Was there anything you didn't even think about beforehand? Was any part better than you anticipated? Were there any bad surprises?

If you would like to add your voice to our discussion (and I hope you will!), all you need to do is leave a comment below. Once everyone has had a turn to speak, I will post an edited summary of the proceedings.

In with the New: June Bug Edition

Randy and I enjoyed some time away, but we're back now and ready to talk about our favorite subject.

There's a special delight in discovering a new voice in our community. It's a treat for me to smile and think, "Look, here's someone very much like us, and they are sharing their unique experiences and insights." But I can't keep these discoveries to myself. Therefore, it is my pleasure to introduce a baker's dozen of new spanking-oriented blogs. I hope you will visit and enjoy them.

A Well Disciplined Girl Breaking Glass or Breaking Down Daddy J and Brat V DD Sans Frontières Deepest Desires Just Spank Me Marks and Stripes My DD Journey My Journal So I'm a Spanko Spanked Italian Gal Spanking Abby Zelda's Time-Out

As you explore these blogs, I encourage you to leave comments. New bloggers are typically starved for feedback. They don't know whether they are doing things right or if anyone is even out there. Your timely words of support can make the difference between a successful blog and an abandoned effort.

To these new bloggers, let me bid you welcome to our community. I look forward to watching your blogs grow and thrive. I hope you find the spanko blogging experience as rewarding as I have!

Keywords: spanking, spanking blog, spanking blogs, spanking blogger, In with the New

MBS Spanko Brunch #125

Were you looking for the spanko brunch?

I am delighted to announce that our friend Hermione is hosting the brunch this week! You can find her here.

I hope to see you all again next week.

Hugs,
Bonnie

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for June 1

Just a bit of fabric? Not so for many among our brunch bunch. Women's underwear plays a special role in many spanking rituals. Here's what you had to say.

Bogey and Becall: I am a fan of boy shorts. They show off the bottom and protect nothing! Panty shopping has always been a shared experience for us. Becall usually selects her panties and the ones she puts on clue me as to the type of spanking she desires. Sometimes, she will just show me her panties and that is my clue to get out the toys. I usually leave the panties in place until near the end of the spanking. Panties and spankings go together.

Thomas: I don't have any preference for panties, though I do usually have my girls wear thongs if we attend a spanking party. Otherwise, I'm not too particular.

Now, as far as when they come down, it all depends on the situation. For discipline or punishment, they come down almost immediately. At those times, I want the spanking to be felt in its entirety. If it's for play, then it may depend on my relationship with the bottom and the scene that we're playing. Generally, though, play spankings are a piece by piece undressing, until bottom is bared. Only rarely are panties left on throughout, with the notable exception of parties. In the case of parties and unfamiliar bottoms, I'll usually wedgie up the panties unless the young lady gives me express permission to bare her. If I see a thong, I automatically assume that she doesn't want to be bared.

Dragonmage: For a "real" spanking, luvbunny's panties don't really matter very much. But if she wears thongs or boy shorts, her bottom is much more likely to attract a random swat from me pretty much wherever we are, so some days she wears them with the intention of attracting those swats.

Most of the time, luvbunny removes her own panties, although there are times when I pull them down. I can't really remember a spanking session where her panties were left in place for more than a few swats.

Mary: I can't recall a spanking where my panties stayed on the whole time either! Mostly he likes boy shorts or fuller panties over thongs (when it comes to spankings, that is). If I know I am getting one, the panties are definitely chosen carefully. Mostly I choose. But if there is a particular type he is fancying, he will let me know. I certainly make sure to have them on or else.

He generally takes them down when he decides. Sometimes it’s immediate. Other times, we go through the over the skirt, over the panties, panties pushed up to expose the cheeks, the panties pulled down and then eventually off kind of scenario. I have many pretty panties and love the part of the ritual that panties play as much as he does.

Jessica: My husband spanks when he wants to and doesn't necessarily take my panty style into consideration. We also have a hard time with privacy issues, so there usually isn't a chance to plan. I have to be sure all of my panties are decent so I am ready at any time! :-)

The panties always come down at some point, but he often leaves them on for the first few minutes. I think he like the drama of escalating the intensity and taking the panties off after the spanking has started.

Olivia: Knickers are a very important part of my discipline, the rituals of our spankings, and also our connection.

Full cut, cotton, regulation school knickers were introduced to me initially within our relationship to be worn as a punishment for my naughty behaviour or just as a reminder to me of my commitment to my targets and being a well-behaved girl.

As a punishment or a reminder, now I am likely to be asked to wear two pairs or some other combination of knickers because the regulation school ones have come to represent many other things. I wear them most days now, which helps me to feel connected to my Disciplinarian, connected to my targets and also deliciously connected to my embarrassment at knowing I am walking around in such pants unbeknown to anyone else.

My Disciplinarian always says that such knickers show off a girl’s bottom properly, and I quite agree! They are also very comfortable (I love the physical sensations of wearing such knickers) and comforting.

Mostly, my Disciplinarian will know what pants I have on each day through him asking me, which I love. And if I am going to be disciplined, it is very likely that he will have already specified which knickers I am to wear. It is most often either my Navy, White, or Maroon ones, although I do have an array of colours! And I do have different knickers that we both enjoy too (tennis knickers, dance shorts, high-waisted 1950's style etc.). But it is the regulation school knickers that are most symbolic for us and seem to have the most effect!

Knickers also mark important stages/ anchors within the ritual of the discipline - from having them inspected ( which I find hugely embarrassing but love that someone is that interested in my knickers!) to going through the stages of having them slowly removed and 'framing' my bottom. This always gives me extra time to reflect on the discipline and feel it more thoroughly. Often, the rituals around our knickers extend outside of the disciplinary session. I love it when my Disciplinarian takes me shopping for knickers!

I have had spankings with both my knickers left on and, of course, completely removed. I like both and all stages in between. The only time that I had my knickers preserved from being revealed and my tights left up was when I was being spanked in front of someone else, for which I was rather grateful!

It is quite amazing what knickers have come to represent within our relationship and to me personally. It’s a real mixture of embarrassment, formality, playfulness, comfort, connectedness, and intimacy.

Daisy: I only possess thongs. My darling bf seems to like those since my bottom is always accessible! He rarely allows them to stay on for a spanking though. Even though they offer no protection, being ordered to remove them sends a shiver down my spine.

So far, we have never shopped for them together, but I am sure that day will come.

Hermione: I usually wear a thong on the day a spanking is due. It builds anticipation and keeps me very aware of my bottom and its impending ordeal. Ron can slip his hands under my clothes and feel that his target is ready for him.

Colour doesn't have any significance. I have a very pretty turquoise thong with an interesting embroidered decoration on the back, and a pair of boy shorts in the same colour that can be pulled up tight to reveal my cheeks below. Colour only matters if I am wearing matching lingerie. I have a variety of colours, fabrics and styles and I do all the buying.

Ron definitely prefers to spank a bare bottom. On occasion, I have worn a thong, usually along with something interesting on top. He makes sure that nothing stays on too long. He wouldn't even think of starting if my bottom were actually covered. We are usually both undressed before the spanking begins.

After I have been spanked, I prefer to put on a pair of comfortable cotton briefs.

Paul: Knickers played no part in our spankings. Except for hospital and doctor visits, Mel wasn't permitted to wear any underwear at all.

If schoolgirl uniform was called for, then regulation knickers were worn, but believe me they didn't stay on long.

We played a lot and we both thought that underwear just got in the way.

Alice: Panties do not stay on for spankings or any sort of play. It is our ritual for Him to tell me disrobe and present myself to Him. He has, at times, told me to just not wear them at all.

Shel: We are relatively new to spanking, although like many, I've craved it for what seems like forever (by the way, your blog gave me the courage to ask for what I wanted!) So this is my first post, although I've been lurking for quite some time ;)

Interestingly, as soon as we began, we went on a shopping trip together where we selected several different styles and I got a whole new panty wardrobe!

We really like boy shorts best so far, which feel young and flirty, but display just the right amount of cheek at all times. Although inevitably most panties are usually removed completely, hubby also likes pulling them up wedgie-style into my crack, which gives me shivers of embarrassment and pleasure as well.

Color and style seem to be personal preference or convenience currently. But I have to say, the surest way for me to brat myself into a desired spanking is to surprise him by wearing a skirt with no panties underneath.

Hi, Shel, and welcome!

Anon VII: Panties, especially in combination with short skirts and cute tops that she fills out well, are very central (well, almost central, anyway) in our sessions. Call me odd-man-out if you want, but I often find spanking with the panties on to be as arousing as popping her bare bottom. The thought of what's just under them really gets to me. Also, she gets excited very quickly, and seeing the wet spot on the panties, sometimes before I've given even one swat, gets me on the same page with her. The two pairs that I like best are both high-rise, which let me spank her sweet spots bare without stopping to pull the panties down. One is a tiger-stripe pattern. The other is a leopard skin design. Both go well with her tawny complexion, long honey-blonde hair, and large green eyes.

We don't do discipline. Our spankings range from the playful through intensely erotic, with occasional tension-relief. Some of the ways she signals what she wants or needs include what she wears, positions she sometimes assumes without being told, and the implements she leaves on my desk or hands me. Leaning slightly forward with a naughty-girl smile when there's no implement means she wants a playful pop, usually with me lifting the skirt. Stretching out over my lap when I have either just my hand or the short paddle means she wants major erotic. Grabbing her ankles when I'm holding the long paddle means she needs serious tension-relief. There are almost countless stages and variations between those three, and she knows that either of my top picks in panties guarantees extra force behind my hand or my best snap of the wrist if I'm wielding a paddle.

Elle: I prefer to wear French knickers, just in general, and I have been told such a style begs for a slap... *grins*

Abby: I am very conscious of my panties when preparing for a spanking. White panties, no matter the cut, make me feel ready to be punished, and I tend to wear them more purposefully than other panties. If I'm preparing for a scene that is to be more disciplinary than erotic, I will wear white. There's just something about white that explicitly says "naughty schoolgirl." White panties don't usually but may stay up for a spanking, since they tend to be more disciplinary and less erotic.

Most of my panties are black. For black panty spankings, I prefer to wear a fancier pair, something with an embellishment – lacing up the back, for example, or soft satin with lace trim and a good cut that shows off my backside. These are for more erotic spankings. Interestingly, the more "erotic" the spanking, the more intense it tends to be. It's true that sexual arousal lends itself to withstanding pain.

I have a few pairs of plaid panties bought explicitly for spankings, though I wear them to be cheeky (pun intended). They are boy-cut, so they show off the underside of my bottom, but still have enough fabric to make the plaid part obvious. Now that spanking is part of my daily life in one way or another, I tend not to wear thongs that much anymore. Self-defense? Or perhaps it's just that having one's bottom revealed feels sexier to me in the long run.

One of my favorite pairs of panties is a pair from the Pink department of Victoria's Secret. They're red, and in white writing on the back demand, "Gimme More Pink." I have many pairs of panties that I think announce, "Spank me," in one way or another, but these are certainly the most demanding!

I could write about panties forever, and then move on to socks, but I'll leave off here with an agreement with Hermione: No matter what was worn for the spanking, cotton briefs afterwards are a must!

Brat V (aka TX Spankogirl): Panties aren't really that big a deal in our spankings. Sometimes they stay on, but most of the time, they come down. LOL Style doesn't seem to matter to J and I have several of each (thongs, boy shorts, cotton) and he likes them all!

Punishments, however, are ALWAYS on the bare so it makes no difference as to what kind of panties I'm wearing (Luckily, those don't happen very often).

Fun/good girl spankings are what I get 95% of the time and they're SOOOO much better! Those spankings (might) start with panties on, but they always come down. How else would we enjoy what happens AFTER those spankings? :D

Michelle: The panties I wear really have no impact on my spankings. I pretty much pick out my underthings and they are lacy or not as I choose. My husband really doesn't care much about what I wear.

Since my spankings are purely for fun, never disciplinary, there aren't any hidden meanings in my selections, either.

Whether or not my panties stay on is determined by two things, whether I start with them on and if my husband wants them off. If I'm not wearing anything to begin, then they're off. If I've got them on, most of the time he pulls them down at some point (it's a part of the play I enjoy). But sometimes he leaves them on. When I'm being spanked, he's in charge and decides.

Jean Marie: I have a dresser drawer brimming with an obscene number of panties, many of which were very expensive. Kyle most often requests that I wear plain white cotton ones unless we're getting dressed-up for a ritzy evening out. I asked him about this, and he said that it's not just that high school honeys always wore that type when he was growing up, he knows that I get very wet anticipating a spanking, and doesn't want to ruin a nice pair. It can't be because he fears wearing-out the seat of the panties with the friction of a spanking because they ALWAYS come down before the swats start. Usually I'm instructed to pull my own underwear down as a test of my obedience and contrition, just before I'm ordered to assume the specified position.

We own an old CalStar video where one top rips the white cotton panties right off of the bottom before she gets the belt applied. The tape always got me hot, so I weakened a ratty old pair of mine by perforating the gusset and sides with a paper hole punch, and then asked Kyle to "play macho." He not only ripped them off of me, he gave me an especially long and hard disciplining. It was very hot!

I-Gal: Panties, what panties? They are never left on. If they were left on, I don't think I would have any pain and the spanking would have no effect on me. They are just in the way. The act of me or J pulling down my underwear prior to a spanking is the only thing that makes panties important at all.

Tempest: Actually, my husband prefers me to wear no underwear at any time (and be shaved). I only wear them for certain situations like going to the doctor or thongs for wearing mini skirts to tease my husband. So underwear is not an issue for us.

Greenwoman: I have some really lovely panties. I enjoy wearing pretty lacy bits of nothing. If I put it on, it’s really an effort at arousal, the same as if I'd put on a sexy dress.

I prefer boy shorts when I wear panties, which in summer, is quite rare.

The part they play in spanking is that they leave my husband aroused and thinking of spanking me because they kind I like to wear leaves the rounded part of the buttock exposed and gets him thinking of how fun it would be to see that skin all pink below those pretty panties.

Most of the men in my life would just prefer me not to have any panties on though. They are in the way of fun.

Maryann: We celebrated my first day of spankings by buying my first pink thong (in honor of Bonnie). I had never worn a thong before, but now I have several. Sailor is still experimenting with rituals about panties on or off and what different styles mean. He is in charge of my spankings, so we'll see.

Bonnie: As I have documented here, my husband Randy loves me to dress for our spanking sessions. Panties are a particular favorite. I have two drawers full and still he buys more. My collection includes many different styles, fabrics, colors, and patterns. He sometimes asks me to conduct a lingerie fashion show. He sits on the bed as I strut down the "runway." You can just imagine how that event concludes!

We have a long standing tradition that any time he finds me wearing a thong, a spanking will ensue. Sometimes, I will slip one on to encourage him. Other times, Randy deliberately sets a pair out for me. Either way, the results are pretty much the same.

When, how, and by whom panties are removed is Randy's call. He's all over the map in terms of his preferences. I know he likes to keep me guessing. For us, it's all part of the fun.

Thank you to everyone who contributed to our brunch. I invite you to stop back next Sunday when you will find a spanko brunch unlike any in the previous two plus years!