Paddle Slogans Revisited

Most spankos are familiar with the novelty paddles from days gone by. They were inscribed with cute slogans such as "Heat for the Seat," "Attitude Adjuster" or "Board of Education." They were sold at tourist traps and stores along the highway. Even as a kid, I always thought these paddles were very cool.

However, a new millennium calls for some updated paddle slogans. Here are some phrases I would love to see embossed on a spanking implement:

I Bend for Blisters The Truth Hurts Light My Fire Plan 'B' Blush for the Other Cheeks Ye Olde Bottom Burner The Motivator Whack Therapy My Inspiration Magic Marker The Peacemaker OTK is A-OK Better than Arguing The Great Communicator Swing Until You Sting Sitting is Overrated My Special Reminder The Ouch Express Spanko's Delight Non-Prescription Stress Relief

I make no claim to these slogans. If any resourceful woodsmith wants to actually create and sell these awesome paddles, please use the slogans with my best wishes. After all, the world needs more spanking implements with clever slogans.

Keywords: spanking, paddle, My Bottom Smarts