There's Gold in Them Thar Posts (apparently)

A reader sent me this screen shot last week.

It seems that someone wants to sell my blog at a greatly reduced price. I really wish they had talked with me first.

But what I'm really curious about is how the free shipping works.

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for July 5

Our topic of the week was diet spankings. Here are your reactions.

Todd: I have used spanking to help motivate diet efforts with Suzy and a few close spankee friends... and have found quite a bit of success. I've also seen friends have success in our Diet Group (both on the blog and the Yahoo Group). I know two people who lost one hundred pounds and several more who lost fifty... and kept it off.

I think that starting with an established "vanilla" diet plan and then using spanking to motivate sticking to that plan is a good start. Staying consistent is a big key, so picking something that will work long term is important. It’s worthwhile to take some time and figure out exactly how spankings will work (there are several options). I steer well clear of spankings/scoldings that might touch on body issues. Breaking a rule is what earns a spanking... and *not* being overweight.

It's certainly not for everyone though. Weight comes with lots of emotional baggage which can impact the spanker or spankee. I've seen enough success though that I do think it's worth trying for those that are motivated by discipline spankings elsewhere in their life (or strongly suspect they would be). It can also do things to help a spanker (who doesn't get spanked) too.

Hermione: We haven't tried it, but I think being spanked would be a great reward for having stuck to a sensible eating plan all week. Maybe I could get extra swats for each time I chose carrots instead of chips?

This could be fun!

Meow: So far, we've used spanking to punish the breaking of diet and exercise rules, but not for lack of progress at weigh-in time. We need to be more consistent, me with reporting and Lash with punishment. As with anything, consistency is the key!

Missy H: Only indirectly. When I'm sorely tempted by some rich dessert, I try to picture how that tiramisu might show up on my body the next time one of those wonderfully forgiving flowy, swirly skirts is flung over my head.

Curtis: I’m not much into punishment and discipline spankings, but I would use sensual spankings as a reward for good behavior – diet or otherwise.

Greenwoman: Nope. I've never tried it, though I’m with Hermione. It could be a fun way to reward for a lot of things that require discipline, not just healthy eating.

Jay: Well I definitely don't need to lose weight, so on that side it’s a no. However, my weight is an issue and therefore my Dom is helping me to put on weight. One of my rules now is that I have to eat at least three meals a day with a view to reach the target goal of 10 stone by Christmas.

I have asked my Dom to help me with this, and actually as I write this, he is downstairs waiting to punish me for not eating breakfast five times this week and lunch only three times. Yikes.

It is scary, but it helps to know that I have consequences should I not eat. I won’t be punished for losing weight, but we will look at my daily diet and see if there is anything we can do to fix it.

PK: I came out to Nick by asking him to help me with my diet through spanking. It has evolved over the years. I never thought of him spanking as a punishment for gaining. Sometimes, though, it is as discipline for not sticking to a healthy diet and blowing off the gym.
But more and more, I realize that when he loses interesting in my diet, I do too. His being involved and knowing I might be spanked if I didn't work hard fed my imagination and kept me wanting to work to get to a healthier weight. When he doesn't ask about whether I've gained or lost each week and when I gain for several weeks and he seems to ignore it, then the diet becomes just drudgery.

So whether we use it as discipline when I fall off the diet wagon, or as motivation to work harder, or to reward a job well done doesn’t really matter. Just having him involved – asking, caring, spanking – has kept me either losing or maintaining for three years.

Sara: Spanking is used in our relationship to remind me that making unhealthy choices is not acceptable. It's never been linked directly to the scale, but definitely to food choices, failure to exercise, missing taking vitamins, etc. I have lost quite a bit of weight in the past four years since we started DD in our marriage, and I am sure the focus and discipline is a big part of that.

Anon #1: As a reward, yes. The chant was, "Trade sex for food." The spanking was absolutely meant as a prelude. This was a powerful motivator. Combined with sensible eating and long walks, it worked.

Padme: I was a part of Todd and Suzy's diet group a few years ago and didn't find that it worked very well for me. I'm too much of a spanko and enjoy it too much for it to be discipline for me. I would often lose a pound or two and then would gain it back.

Master Anakin also told me he didn't like me being so focused on the scale each week also. My weight would go up because of my period and then I'd be upset thinking I had gained weight and I hadn't. I've done a better job with keeping my weight consistent through walking and I don't look at the scale all the time now. I know my body well enough to know when I need to walk a bit extra or work more on my diet.

He found it too much work also to be monitoring my diet all the time. I do get disciplined with hard spankings, but not for diet issues anymore.

Saffron: I have an issue whereby I need to lose about five stone (that’s about 65 pounds, I think) Weight is an emotional issue for me, but I was told by my doctor that I need to lose weight. When I told my Dom, he said he already knew this was something I would have to work on, as I am young (27) and it’s a health issue for me. To be honest it also makes me insecure.

After my holiday to Germany (not the best way to start a diet), we will concentrate on this issue of mine. I need to lose weight, and if I don't, my arse will pay. I think this will work because I had my first discipline spanking and caning today. Boy, did it drive home a point. I'm going to need them. And it worked. It’s a different headspace. I think there has been some insecurity in me that he wants me to lose weight because he does not like my looks, but I don't think that is the main issue. My health is, and yes, let’s be honest, my looks will improve!

I'm interested how this pans out. I get rewards if I do well, and get punished if I don't lose. I think I would only have an issue with getting punished for not losing weight if he and I had used every weight loss method we know. Maybe that would mean that we need to step up something. But my Dom is incredible, and not unreasonable.

In Germany, I have committed to lots of exercise. I may ask to have that as a temporary rule, whilst with food, I will have to TRY to be sensible. I will do an hour’s exercise at least every day! Wait until he reads this! (grins) Oh, BTW, no matter what happens in Germany, I am to lose two stone by Christmas. It’s fully doable!

Mija: I'm not supposed to eat very much sugar (it makes me ill), so we have a rule that I can only have sweets if I ask first. When I've been trying to get into a gym routine, he'll enforce that schedule too.

But I'd be very uncomfortable with P monitoring my weight loss progress at the scale with punishments. I suspect it would be a squick for him too.

Still, Todd and Suzy, whatever works!

Prefectdt: Yes, I have used self-administration, which I do not enjoy and do not talk about much, but it does have a certain level of success. I'm in agreement with those here saying that a reward or good boy/girl spanking would be a good thing to try, but the opportunity has never been available for me.

Anon #2: Yes, It started the whole DD in our house with my wife and me. We had always used spanking in the bedroom before that, but never anything else. She had been dieting for six months with some success, but she had been stalled for a while. I decided that I needed to loose weight to get off so many meds. After two weeks of going no place, I searched the net and discovered DD for weight loss at a couple of sites. I sheepishly asked my wife if she could spank to help me with reminders, eating, and exercise. She took to it like a duck to water! That was six months ago. I have lost 52 pounds and learned to cook healthy. I never cooked a day in my life and now do almost every day. My wife has lost 35 pounds since we started. She gives me reminders every week. We have a weekly weigh in and track our weekly goals and progress on a grease board.

Our reward to each other is an eight-day cruise in October. I have not yet been spanked for not reaching a goal although I have not made it many times. I have been told to get out of bed and bend over for not working out or NOT eating enough or forgetting to encourage her to work out. I have received many reward (good boy) spankings and related very hot sexual encounters. Since we have added DD to our whole lifestyle and things could not be better. I am seven pounds from my final goal. This is a commitment to each other.

Zille: There are some ginger cookies which I have simply no control over consuming – they are just too good! So after I'd tried for some months to maintain a healthy relationship with these cookies, I had to ask my Master if we could have a rule that I must ask permission before I can eat one of those wicked ginger cookies.

I've never needed to be punished for breaking the rule (as it's my ass on the line in more than one sense – i.e. that my ass is a reasonable size and doesn't need to get much bigger!) and it has helped me get in control with regards to those cookies. I think I wouldn't even need the rule now, but it's fun to have to ask!

The thing I need to get punished for is skipping yoga. If I do yoga two or three times a week, my body and emotional well-being really show the results. But it's just so easy to get caught up with something, put it off and off all day long, and end up saying, "Oh, I'll do it tomorrow." And of course, it's always today, isn't it?! So he and I have been talking about setting up punishments for that. It can only end in happiness either way: either I am lookin' good and feelin' fine or he gets to punish me for a real infraction, which he really, um, gets off on! (And so do I, just not while it's happening!).

Anon VII: What a coincidence that you should post that question! Meg and I began that aspect of our now very long, exclusive relationship back in our college days when she was fretting about being a choc-a-holic who was also into fitness. I teasingly (well, mostly teasingly, but admittedly with a tiny bit of hope) told her that I could keep her in line with my fraternity paddle. To my surprise, she immediately took me up on the offer, then admitted cheating on her diet a couple of evenings later and insisted that I had to do what we'd agreed upon. She was perfectly dressed for the occasion, in a cute short skirt, a blouse with puffy sleeves, heels, and (best of all) panties with the college logo across the seat. She was more than a little surprised at how much the swats stung, but she still pounced on me and took me down afterward, even though I made at least two of her! Soon enough, we were getting out the board of education for no reason except pure fun.

Bonnie: Randy and I don’t employ diet spankings, but probably not for the reason you might think. I don’t do diets. At least for me, the only safe and effective way to attain and maintain a healthy body is through permanent lifestyle choices. Short term changes cannot achieve long term results.

With that said, Randy and I have no shortage of reasons to share a good spanking. He often compliments my “nicely curved posterior.” I want to be attractive for him, especially when we are intimate. So, perhaps in this roundabout manner, spankings do motivate me to watch what I eat.

Angie: This has never been an issue for me (I have plenty of other issues, though...), but I've had quite a few friends who have tried DD to help with their weight loss. What most seem to have found echoes what the others here already wrote. In most cases, they didn't worry so much about X lbs lost per week, but whether basic diet rules and exercise rules have been followed. If not, well, there were unpleasant consequences.

And for those who like spankings as rewards, what they found was to not wait until the end of the week, but to reward frequently, such as when a goal was reached or when she had been good that day.

Katia: We have used spanking when I have cheated on my diet or skipped my exercise. I have never been spanked because of not losing weight. One thing I do is journal what I eat and Luke looks over it. It also makes you think about what you stick in your mouth when the calorie content in staring back at you. There are a few free sites such as fitday.com, and I use Lose it, which is a free application on my phone.

Val: How about this, diet spanking-wise? After a serious spanking, if all went right, one feels so high floating that appetite for eating anything is just not there. I know this because it happened to me many times. Afterward, when I am all done and still in sub space, I could skip dinner or any food or drink for that matter. The glow is plenty enough for me. Even the next morning, I wouldn't really feel like eating, being still high. So there you go. A good quality spanking before table time will cut down the food appetite, hence a reliable diet aid.

Kyle: How about fiscal responsibility through spankings? My girlfriend doesn't need to diet, but most of her bottom warmings are inspired by her spending habits.

Thanks to everyone who joined in our discussion this week!

Recap: MBS Spanko Brunch for May 3

Our topic this week was techniques for keeping alive a couple’s spanking interest. Here are your thoughts.

Daisy: Simple really. We keep breathing...

Cookie: We do a lot of things to keep our interest alive. We attend spanking parties. We do videos for our blogs. We also practice domestic discipline and we always try to find time to play somehow. I like Daisy’s answer. We pretty much don't have to do more than be alive and be ourselves since it is so much a part of who we are.

Jean Marie: Our interest in spanking is hard-wired into each of us. There is a strong submissive interest in me and a wonderfully dominant interest in my lover. This is who we are. It is this reality that keeps our vibrant sex life so full and fun.

Todd and Suzy: We spend a good deal of our free time together doing different spanking-related things. These activities include talking with friends, going to parties, reading and writing stories, posting on our own blog, and reading and commenting on other blogs.

Probably the most important thing we do to keep our spanking interest alive though... is just *spending time together*. We're both interested in spanking (it's one of the things that brought us together). So just being together keeps that spark burning. It does help to do 'spanko-related' things though.

Anon #1: This is an odd question in my opinion. Spanking is a fun thing to do. I do it because it’s fun. If, for some reason, it ever loses its charm, I'll just develop some other inane fetish and move on.

It’s an interest. It works to sustain me. Not the other way around.

Hermione: We set aside some time to indulge in it regularly, and make this a high priority in our lives. We also try to make each encounter unique in some way. The combination of implements, position and timing is never exactly the same. At other times, we often laugh and joke about spanking, and that keeps the spark alive.

Looking at everyday life from the perspective of possible spanko subjects to blog about keeps spanking on my mind a good deal of the time. Reading blogs ensures that I won't soon run out of new ideas to share with Ron and possibly try together.

Bogey and Becall: I was going to post a wise-ass, but true, comment, but Daisy beat me to it. So I will just say that every day above ground, spanking is on my mind.

Meow: Practice, practice, practice!

Anon #2: We never get bored or go with the same routine. We both like the spankings too much. My Master knows how much it gets me hot. Whether it is for punishment, as foreplay, or just playing around, it all works for us. He loves it just as much as I do.

This morning as we both just rolled over, I asked for a good spanking. He was very surprised, but eager. What a great way to start your day! He will probably read this later and add his own opinion.

K: I don't know that we do anything to keep the spanking spark alive. We flirt and enjoy random suggestive swats. We enjoy spanking with sex. Less often, I am treated to a long, leisurely, fully erotic spanking. But we don't actively work to maintain the interest in spanking. It's more like the spanking is used as one of many ways to maintain our blissful enjoyment of each other and keep our marriage healthy, vibrant, and full of sparks.

Oh, and when I get the urge for a spanking, I just ask for one.

Anon #3: Frequent spanking is the key for us. When I'm aroused, I want to get spanked. When I get spanked, I get aroused. Feeling tender from being spanked arouses me. When I'm aroused, I want to get spanked. When I get spanked, I get aroused. Feeling tender from being spanked arouses me. When I'm aroused, I want to get spanked. When I get spanked, I get aroused. Feeling tender from being spanked arouses me... Ad infinitum. :)

I've been interested in it since I was a child, but I was not spanked then. We never attended spanking parties or clubs. It's just a part of our romance. I feel safe and loved with a red bottom. It's erotic and fun for us and not a punishment.

Spanking has been a part of our lives since we dated and still is after being married 35 years. We both love our parts. There are always playful spanks throughout the day. We started today with spanking and making love, as we do many mornings. I can feel it sitting here now and like the feeling.

We still make love almost every day and he spanks me a little or a lot daily and I love it. We are happy and sexy after 35 years together, in part, because of the spanking. There have been times over the years when it wasn't a daily occurrence for various reasons, but spanking and sex keep us very relaxed.

That definitely sounds like a winning formula!

Anon VII: As in the case of the last person to post, we've been together for many years, and our interest has never flagged. She still knows how to cut those big, green eyes at me like a cat on the prowl. We also exchange little pats, usually multiple times each day. Another of her favorites is to give me a pinch you-know-where or a thump on the nose, or make an off-color remark and then, with the foxiest naughty-girl look I've ever seen, bend over for a pop with my hand. That almost invariably leads to the long paddle and fantastic love-making before the night's over.

Anon #4: My partner already responded. She got spanked this morning when she woke up (at her request). I just got spanked (NOT at my request), but it was a lot of fun. Now we are just finishing some sweets before cuddling in bed and drifting off to sleep. She hopes to fall asleep before my snoring kicks in... Grin

Anon #5: I am hoping to use this blog to help our interest stay alive. I always have interest and my husband is trying to accommodate. He mostly just likes how turned-on it makes me and so therefore will go for a spanking. I would like more spankings that do not immediately lead to sex and more with a plot. I am trying to get him to spend a little time with the spankings described here. If he will, I think it will really help.

I think spanking, like lovemaking, works best when it’s something you enjoy together for your mutual benefit. The better you are able to meet his needs, the more likely he will be to expand his spanking repertoire.

Bonnie: I asked Randy this question, just to get his take. He chuckled and said, “Uh, spanking?” I guess that covers it, at least from the male viewpoint.

I think our interest in spanking is pretty much a permanent feature of our identities. The issue is not so much one of keeping the flame alive as it is finding the time and energy to truly enjoy the fire. For this reason, we schedule time for play and grab those serendipitous moments as we can.

I know that I am calmer, more focused, and better able to cope with life’s challenges after a good bottom-warming (and lovemaking) session with Randy. We also feel closer as a couple. This alone provides plenty of motivation.

Blogging, when I get time, and reading other spanko blogs definitely helps to keep the ideas percolating. We also leave little hints, like a thong over the knob of a dresser or a hairbrush on the night stand, that serve as reminders (or provocations, depending upon your perspective). Either way, our spanking flame remains very much ablaze.

Thank you all for joining in our spanko brunch. I hope you’ll be with us again next week. Until then, may all your spankings be good ones!

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Apr 26

Our subject this week was baring the spankee’s bottom – When, how, and why? We also wonder whether a spanking while wearing a thong was equivalent to a bare bottom spanking. Here are your responses.

Todd and Suzy: Virtually all of our spankings end up as bare bottom spankings, and for the most part, they start that way. It can be fun to progress down layers though. Typically, when that happens, it will be a playful spanking.

As for why that is, a big part of it is probably convenience. If you pull clothing down, it either needs to remain bunched on the thighs/knees/ankles, or the spanking needs to be paused and the clothing has to be pulled completely off. We don't want to pause, and we don't want to leave them bunched up. Our spankings tend to be long, so that would get uncomfortable.

Clothing also has a way of getting in the way. It constantly needs to be pushed out of the way. Discipline spankings always start on the bare too because clothing provides somewhat of a warm-up.' Erotic play tends to start with no clothing at all (for obvious reasons!).

That doesn't mean that the act of baring the bottom doesn't have meaning though. For an erotic spanking, it's a kind of seduction that even a vanilla can understand. For discipline, it's a submissive and 'time to get down to brass tacks' moment. The bare bottom is sort of the center of the spanko universe, so that moment does not go unnoticed.

And the thong thing... A spanking over a thong is ~A SPANKING OVER A THONG~. LOL Sorry for yelling there. There’s certainly nothing wrong with thongs though they’re not our thing. But if there were no difference, then thongs would never have been invented. They do cover and thus they're different from actually being bare.

Anon #1: Always bare. I'm just not a very patient person. :D

Trying to Grow Up: My husband has been spanking me for two and a half of the three years we have been together. If I am just being annoying, he spanks me with a panty-covered bottom. But if we have an argument and I am 100% out of line, he spanks me bare.

We have been married for eight months. Right after we got back from our honeymoon we had a big argument and I asked if he regretted marrying me and a whole lot of other &#@$ and I got my butt busted. He only uses his hand because this has happened only twice and I will never ever do it again.

My mom has apologized to him about me being a brat without him even telling her anything. I am seriously working on trying not to be bratty or pouty. He loves me, but would like me to be a little calmer.

The only time I get spanked while wearing a thong is when we are fooling around.

Welcome, TTGU!

Measha: Almost all of our spankings are on the bare. During a punishment, I'm lucky if he lets me start out with my pants up (or PJs covering me). Otherwise, it’s right to business. Actually, it’s basically the same for fun spankings, too.

He never pulls my pants down. He almost always makes me do it. It’s more of a mind thing at that point, I think. Having to bare my bottom is really a way of showing him that I accept what's happening and that I accept his authority. And, it's humbling in a way that gets my mind where it needs to be.

Abby: I guess if one has been to my blog, it goes without saying that we go bare almost every time. That is partly because the punishment is more severe that way, and partly because it's sexier. Anyone who's ever had a tawse or similar lick certain exposed orifices can testament that, yes, a thong would have made a great difference. So, no, thongs do NOT count as on the bare.

There have also been quite a few times when I'm already bare because we're in the process of lovemaking. Suddenly, a spanking (though usually more severe than a hand spanking) becomes the order of the day. In this case, I'm already bare. It's not even an issue. My last caning was an extraordinarily painful break between two lovemaking sessions. Mr. W just reads me that well, and he knew I needed more than sex to achieve the emotional balance I needed.

Then again, for a comic "panties on" story, see my recent blog post. This is an excellent reason to take down the panties quickly oneself. :-)

Luvbunny: Yes, Sir and I do bare bottom spanking and we really like a bare bottom spanking more than not being bare. I get turned on faster with my bottom bare.

I believe that wearing a thong is not a bare bottom spanking.

Prefectdt: I like to experience the different sensations that the same toy can produce through various layers of clothing, but all the best spankings end up on the bare.

I do count a spanking wearing a thong as a bare bottom spanking. I usually wear a thong during a non-sexual spanking experience. It's not an embarrassment thing or anything like that, it is just a psychological trigger. It reminds the little guy downstairs that it is not "that kind of spanking" and he should not get excited about it. Wearing a thong does not detract from the bare bottom experience for me.

Hermione: Our spankings are always on the bare. I might get a pat or a swat over clothing as a hint of what is to come, but nothing more than that. Since spanking is erotic and a part of foreplay for us, my bottom (and usually the rest of me) is bare before it begins, although there might have been some progressive undressing to get to that point.

I would say that being spanked while wearing a thong counts as a bare-bottom spanking, and is much more exciting for me. Ron prefers to be able to access all areas, so he makes sure any obstructions, including thongs, are removed before he begins.

Jay: Uncle Phil always gets me to drop my trousers before I go OTK. I get a few warm up swats over my knickers, but then they get pulled down. I did get spanked and caned over my trousers at the last party, but it wasn't the same as bare butt.

Worzel changes each time. Sometimes, I will be told to 'bare my butt' other times he will start with knicker swats.

I guess it all depends upon what the spanking is for.

Meow: Lash always spanks my bottom bare. In fact, I'm always completely bare because he likes it that way. For us, it's a submission thing. At our house, it's pretty much bare hand on bare bottom almost 100% of the time. No comment on the thong question since I never wear them.

Daisy: A spanking over clothes? What’s that? Hahaha!

If we are in public, he might give me a quick but decisive swat to check me, and warn of my impending doom on our return to the privacy of our room!

I am almost always spanked on the bare bottom, even for a warm up. Davey prefers it that way, so he can see how fast my ass is reddening up! This is how he gauges the strength of the swats. We are still learning! He also likes the skin to skin contact. Sometimes, he likes to have me wear pyjamas (I never wear them for bed; I usually sleep in the "figleaf in autumn" outfit) and have me pull them down as part of the ritual, leaving them around my knees. Strangely, pulling clothing down, and leaving it just below my bottom, or around my knees/ankles, makes me feel more like a punished, naughty girl, than when I am naked, when I am definitely feeling like a WOMAN, and expectant of what is to follow!

As far as I am concerned, thong spankings count as bare bottom (even though I am never allowed that luxury!) Because, the bottom IS bare!

Thongs are designed specifically to expose the bottom while covering the private parts. When watching a video spanking clip or seeing a photo, I find it an absolute turnoff when "naughty bits" can be seen during a spanking. This is where thongs can come into their own, in my opinion!

Of course, I realise some find that exposure a turn on, but to me, it detracts from the spanking, which after all, is what this kink is all about!

I guess it’s my upbringing, making me a prude, but to me, only the husband should be able to view his wife in such intimate detail. Some areas of the body are for his eyes only. Sorry, but that’s how I am! Each to their own. I am not saying those who do it are wrong, just that it’s not for me!

Bogey and Becall: All of our spankings are recreational, erotic and always sexual. We are both fans of attractive underwear, so spanking and panties go together for us. Becall always gets a long warm-up on her panties. She may get well over a hundred pops over her panties with various toys, before one or two-dozen forceful licks on her bare bottom.

Sometimes when she thinks my underwear is “cute,” she will give me a few pops before pulling them down.

For us, both thongs and boy shorts count as bare bottom.

Soma: Like most of the other comments, our spankings always end up on the bare. They usually start over clothing first. Whether it’s jeans or just starting over panties, I always end up bare in the end, every time. There's always a progression for us. It never has started immediately on the bare. I think the progression helps to make the spanking more serious and stern as it goes by. It also helps to put me in the punishment mindset and make me more embarrassed and submissive as it goes along. I actually have never worn a thong during a spanking, so I'm not sure if that would still count. I'm thinking it probably would still be pulled down. I've noticed that when he pulls my panties up to bare my bottom it does not have as much of an effect as it does when he pulls them down, which always happens.

Meg: Since all of our sessions are playful progressing into erotic, we typically start with me over his lap, wearing either a special short skirt that gets him very excited or pair of hot pants that have the same effect. From there, we move to the long paddle, either with the skirt up or with me still in the hot pants. Then the hot pants, if I'm wearing them, come down. Since I wear special panties (either tiger-striped or leopard-spotted) that are close to being thongs, they usually stay on until we move on to things after the spanking. Occasionally, they come off first, but he most often finds the panties a huge turn-on, and I guarantee that they offer no protection at all from that wicked board. It's sort of a best-of-both-worlds situation in our view.

Anon #2: The ritual is important. I can still hear the tone in my wife's voice as she says, "Somebody's due for a spanking! Pull your pants down!" I've replayed that particualar session in my mind for years, now. Or, when I'm over her knee and she's about to yank my pants and shorts down, there's my feeble (and totally unmeant) protest, "Not on my bare bottom!" So, of course, it's on the bare. There's no other way.

As far as thongs go, I'm not sure she'd even be caught dead in one. When she graces my lap, it's always the full moon shining as soon as her pants come down.

Lee: Well, since I don't have any formal spankings at this point, just some play before and during sex, I am always bare. Sometimes, I'll get a swat when he's teasing me about something, but nothing "serious."

I also think a thong "counts," but it isn't nearly as much fun!

Dr. Ken: I almost always spank in a progression. I begin over skirt or pants, then remove that layer and spank the seat of the panties, and then pull those down. The spanking always finishes on the bare bottom. Since the majority of the time, I'm only using my hand, I like the feel of the different materials as the spanking progresses, and greatly enjoy the final sensation of palm-on-bare-skin.

There is a psychological effect on the spanking when doing it that way, plus a visual treat for the spanker.

And a thong, minimal coverage though it may provide, still means that something is being worn on the bottom, so it does not qualify in my book as being a "bare-bottom spanking" until the thong is pulled down.

Loki: When my fiancé and I play, it usually starts over her panties and then on the bare. It's mainly because of time. Most of our play is at night and we have to work the next day.

But when we do have time, that is a whole different story. I enjoy the way she looks wearing different types of clothing while being spanked. The progression does follow a common course, that is skirt/pant-to-tights/leggings-to-panties of various types-to bare. But, for me at least, each separate spanking is a work of art that makes you want more until that final piece of clothing is removed and the finale begins.

Bonnie: We always make it to the skin, but sometimes, it takes a while. In this case, getting there is truly half the fun. Randy decides such matters at our house and he varies his unveiling technique to fit the situation and/or his whim.

As the one on the receiving end, I don’t feel one bit of difference between a spanking with a thong and one without. They both hurt! I’ll acknowledge that the visual presentation is different, but I don’t see any of that.

Thank you all for joining us for our spanko brunch. I hope you’ll return next week for more of the same, only different!

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Apr 5

Our topic this week was reactions to accidentally overhearing a coworker discussing adult spanking. As usual, brunchers approached this question from a number of different angles. However, a clear consensus emerged behind the discrete approach. Here are your thoughts.

Anon #1: If you care about your job, be careful about possible sexual harassment charges in the workplace.

Todd and Suzy: It would depend upon several things, but chances are at the workplace, I'd just let it go. What "spanking" is can mean so many things. Even vanillas talk and joke about it. This could not only lead to problems for me, but also the person who I overheard might be very uncomfortable with it.

This doesn't mean there is no way I'd ever bring it up though. If the person were a friend outside of work, or really-really hot (lol), I'd consider it.

Jean Marie: This question made me do some soul-searching.

First, it would thrill me to overhear someone using the words "adult spanking" in the workplace. I think I'd use the post office mailbox that I use for writing submissions to contact them anonymously. I would warn them to be careful about being overheard on the phone in the future. Then I'd relate that they had nothing to worry about from me because I was a fellow-spanko. Now this is where it gets dicey. There's that phrase about a bear not pooping where he eats, meaning don't have sex where you work. But I'm a highly-sexed girl, and bi-curious, so everybody is in-play. If I found them attractive, I'd probably gradually try to get to know this person, get better acquainted, and slowly reveal my tastes and appetites to them over time.

Contemplating this made-up situation made me have to confront myself honestly. It also got me aroused.

Diesel Diva: I would most definitely keep my mouth shut. But I would keep my ears open for future references. Perhaps I would consider an anonymous note regarding phone etiquette.

Prefectdt: It would very much depend upon the person concerned. Can you trust them? Are they discreet? Is it a nice person? Are they the sort who can keep their work and social life separate?

It is always good to find another kinkster to interact with, even if they are not a potential playmate (might be a bloke) and all you would ever do is chat with them about stuff, outside of work or wherever you find them. But it is also important to keep work and social life separate. I think basically it comes down to assessing the individual concerned and proceeding with caution.

Dr. Ken: First, I'd smile quietly to myself because it's always fun to hear some spanking comment – even if by accident. That would be the extent of my reaction. I certainly wouldn't caution them about phone etiquette. It was something accidentally overheard, after all. They weren't broadcasting it. I just got lucky enough to hear it. And I certainly wouldn't out myself. That could lead to all kinds of trouble!

I might, at most, try dropping a casual comment around them. If, say, something got screwed up, I might say, "They should all be taken out back and spanked" or some such – and see what reaction it gets, if any.

Other than that, though, I'd leave it alone. It is someone you only know cordially – friendly, but not a friend. Any other response would be inappropriate.

Penfold: I’d feel quite intrigued by the whole conversation, and a bit naughty for listening in the first place. But I also agree that I wouldn't speak to them directly, either to say about there phone habits or to out myself. I would, however, chat to Bear about it and see what he thought. Whether I would drop subtle hints in later conversations would have to depend upon the circumstances. The only way I would do this is if it was a fellow female worker. NEVER a male worker! That would be suicidal!

This Girl: I would definitely think quiet. If they think I'm the sort of person who sticks my nose in other peoples conversations, are they going to trust me about their kink? No.

I would keep quiet, even if they were hot!

LDD-4-Me: “Not that I'm paranoid, it's just that everyone’s after me.”

I would avoid any comment that would let on that I knew anything. The workplace these days must be just that, the workplace... Nothing more.

In these times, unfortunately, there are far too many things that can be considered harassment. There are too many zero tolerance situations combined with, in many situations, far too many surprise backstabbers behind every corner.

Hermione: In our open-concept office, where everyone can hear everyone else, I have been known to say to a colleague that "I was eavesdropping and..." so I could help with a work-related problem. As far as personal conversations are concerned, the unwritten rule we all follow is to ignore them and pretend we haven't heard a thing.

If I were to overhear a conversation involving the S-word, I would certainly prick up my ears and listen carefully. But I would not consider outing myself to this coworker or letting him or her know I had overheard one side of what I assume was a personal and intimate conversation. I might watch the person a little more closely and perhaps try to listen to more phone conversations out of curiosity.

Caroline Grey: I pretty much agree with the general feeling on this one. Of course, it would depend upon what kind of a workplace. In an office, I'd just pretend I hadn't heard anything, and occasionally smile to myself about it. In a more relaxed, physical-labour type job (the kind I've had more often), I find there tends to be a lot of leeway about what you talk and joke about. When I've been working at some grimy job with a bunch of dudes, there's been a lot of risqué joking around that would never be tolerated in an office environment, but that everybody takes as it's meant – in good fun. In that situation, I might tease the person and joke about it with them. I've had spanking themes come up jokingly in work before, actually, and it was all just silliness and something for me to smirk about in private.

But I don't think I'd ever approach the subject seriously or in earnest, no matter what the surroundings. And I'd never ever out myself either.

Anon #2: Once, a long, long time ago, I worked for a fairly famous chain restaurant. One night, a couple of the wait staff were making jokes about it and one even bent over so the other could spank them. My only thought was, "I have a paddle in the car. If you’re going to spank, then do it right."

Anon #3: Unless they approached me, or it came up in a private conversation between us, I wouldn't mention it. It would probably just lead to awkwardness or possible sexual harassment charges. No good!

Anon VII: My inclination in almost every case is to leave such things alone. They're none of my business. Now, having said that, if the person were a close friend or relative, I might suggest speaking more softly, or perhaps better, not at all about the subject while on the phone in the workplace. Otherwise, it would be hands-off (no pun intended) as far as I was concerned; and no, I'd not "out" myself. Just like his/her business isn't mine, mine is not his or hers.

Bonnie: Once I imagined being in the place of the person who was overheard, the answer was easy and obvious. I would want my co-worker to forget it ever happened and say nothing. I’m quite comfortable with my kink, but if I were approached about it by a male colleague, I would be mortified. Even if my job weren’t threatened (and I would probably be safe in that regard), my credibility around the office would definitely be damaged if word got around.

It’s a shame we must wear these masks, but until the world changes, mine will remain securely in place.

Lee: First off, I'd gain a newfound respect for that person. Where I come from, people seriously believe that the only "correct" way to have sex is the missionary position, so it would make me happy inside knowing that SOMEONE was exploring something "atypical" that they enjoy. I'm not sure I'd bring it up to them unless we became close, though. It opens too many doors that could harm me or that person if someone else were to find out (for example, that other co-worker didn't keep secrets very well).

Evan: I have not had that experience, but my domme girlfriend often says she will invite a witness. In the meantime, at the very least, I must be un-self-conscious in the gym changing room and let my reddened ass show. I am not as uncomfortable as when she first started demanding this. But I have twice noticed other guys with marks, one looked like he got the cane very badly and he also seemed bald around the genitals, another sign of having a dominant wife. I did not say a thing, but it left me feeling much more comfortable about my own kinky proclivities.

Anon #3: I'll carry forward the "toothpaste out of the tube" concept, and add that the cap of the tube should remain tight. So far, comments have been levelheaded and realistic. It's simply not worth the risk in most instances.

Now, what I REALLY want to know is how some of our most beloved, high profile scene models, who also maintain fulltime positions in the work world, manage to completely elude detection, when, in one particular case, her magnificently sculpted bare rump, whether spanked or unspanked, is as easily recognizable as her very pretty girl-next-door face?

Assuming we're talking about the same spanking supermodel, she said that people don't recognize her in a different context. Perhaps a few do and they choose not to out her and themselves. Either way, she said this hasn't been a problem.

Loki Darksong: It's always good to think and hope that someone you know and work with is into the things that you are into. The thing is that you have to be careful. Very careful. I hate to sound harsh, but it is far too easy for someone to cry 'HARASSMENT!" these days. Not to mention, there are those who would seek promotion through character assassination.

I would suggest a very stealthy approach towards finding out for certain, with plenty of avenues of escape as a precaution.

I hope this is not much of a downer, but it's the times we are living in.

Thank you all for joining in!

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Jan 11

Our topic this week was desired spankings we’ve not yet experienced. Here are your thoughts.

Doc: I've been spanked in a lot of ways, but never, ever, in the over-the-knee fashion! Can you believe it?

I've been spanked in almost every other fashion. I would love to receive an over-the-knee spanking. After all, it's part of the spanker/spankee's canon.

Anna: Mine would be a stress-relieving, cathartic spanking. I seem to crave it more and more as I take on more responsibility at work. I would love to come home to a long, purifying spanking and then just be held for a long time afterward, maybe until I fall asleep. That would be perfect.

Andrades Girl: It is so early in our spanking life together that I really am not sure what that might be, but I can come up with a perfect spanking for now.

It is OTK (without being dizzy or uncomfortable or rolling off his lap) and he uses the belt. Each slap of the belt is perfectly placed with just the right amount of zing. So far, the belt is still my favorite spanking toy. And he is getting better and better with it each time we practice.

Maryann: I would like my man to initiate a spanking and take his time delivering it. It would be delivered OTK, by hand, with a nice slow warm up and lots of play along the way. I want him to like it as much as I do.

PM Duo: I really want a discipline spanking. I'm not sure how well I'd like it, but I really crave the idea. I want it to be for something I've actually done that he's told me not to do rather than a pretend “you've been a naughty girl” thing. I'd like it to be over the edge of the bed or the arm of a couch. He would definitely start with his belt, but then switch to something harder. I want him completely, no doubt in control, and making me obey him. I've only cried once during a spanking, but I want this to end with tears and NO sex. Discipline only. I kind of doubt I'll ever get it, but I'll keep wanting!

Jean Marie: I fantasize about getting a public spanking. They say that lots of people think about sex in public. I've had that at the beach. I want a full-on, bare bottomed spanking in public. I'd love to travel to some different city, where I feel totally anonymous, and have my lover take me out to eat in a swanky restaurant. He tells me over dessert to lie across the white tablecloth and pull my skirt up, and then demands that I pull my panties down off my ass. Then I have to ask to be spanked. He complies – hard! The management and other patrons are shocked. The police are called. My lover throws money on the table and whisks me away, back to our hotel. I'd thank him by doing any nasty act he desired.

Daisy: I have often thought it would be sexy if I and a/some girlfriend(s) did something that REALLY made Davey cross, so cross that he spanked us; with me being last. I would have to watch and hear the sounds of the spanking, see how red her/their ass(es)were getting, knowing it would be my turn next!

I think it would be scary, sexy, embarrassing, and I would know that my punishment would definitely be harder, because he would be so disappointed in me!

Waiting for my turn would be deliciously agonising....

As to whether I would want this fantasy turned into reality, I am not sure!

Prefectdt: I have always wanted a birthday caning, actually on my birthday. Unfortunately, every year it’s the same story, no playmate available on that day.

There are about a million different toys I want to try out as well. The world is full of interesting toys.

Penfold: I love it when Bear talks to me like he is a headmaster and that I’m his 'naughty school girl' and spanks me. So I think my dream spanking would have to be over one of those big old desks you’d find in a headmasters office. I would wear a school girl’s outfit and he would don the old school robes. That would just be fantastic.

BigBear: I would agree with Penfold’s comment. Schoolgirl and headmaster would be my favourite spanking. I'd be very strict as she's giggling cutely in her outfit. Then I would pull her over my knee and start telling her off in a more memorable way.

Jay: Well, I suppose I want the kind of spanking that leaves me completely worn out. I'm not one for crying. It wasn't allowed when I was growing up. We had to be big girls and boys. And we weren't allowed to show fear. That was unacceptable. I would like a spanking that scares me just thinking about it and to be allowed to show that fear. I would to like to be allowed to cry. I want to cry or sob my guts out.

I'm not talking about an age play spanking. I just want to be able to feel two of the most natural states. Yes, I will probably brat and whine, but I think that I need this. After I have been taken this far, I would like to be held and told that I am loved.

This sounds sooo stupid. I must be crazy to want this.

I would like to be held in a loving hug and not be teased or ridiculed because I showed my fear or cried. That is my fantasy.

Hermione: I have always wanted a real birthday spanking, but have never had one. Ron has never taken me over his knee and I dearly wish he would. Then, of course, there's the hour-long spanking that I dream of.

My idea of the ideal birthday spanking would be for Ron to lay out every one of our implements, then sit in the armchair and put me over his knee. He would give me ten strokes with each implement in turn. I would have to count the strokes (something else I haven't done). Once I reached my age, the count would start over again. Otherwise, I would end up being 200 years old! After each set of ten, my bottom would be rubbed and caressed.

When he got to the longer implements, I would bend over the back of the armchair – also something I would love to try. It's exactly the right height. After all of the implements have been used, Ron would gently but thoroughly rub arnica creme all over my bottom. Then we would move on to other activities. That sounds like an hour to me.

Anon: As a switch, I frequently wonder whether my spanking playmate would invite over one of her adventurous girlfriends, who would serve as both a spectator and participant. The women would sit in armless chairs facing each other, knee to knee, and I would go over the platform thus presented for what I'd alliteratively describe as a "Tandem Torrid Tushy Tanning."

Multiple implements would be employed, sometimes by both at the same time, other times by just one. They would certainly have their way with me, fulfilling all of the following elements in expert fashion:

          Ritualistic
          Unrelenting
          Maternal
          Punitive

I'm hoping this will one day be attainable. And that the advice "all you have to do is ask" will be the means to a glowing, fire engine red rear end – MINE!

Tiggs: I desire a true, honest to goodness, discipline spanking, given with love, for my benefit, and without me having to ask or being allowed even to ask or being mostly for "play" or a "scene." I want to be held and told I was loved afterward, and really and truly feeling that love and security. I seek to feel as though me and my utmost needs matter more at that moment than anything else.

Oh, and Jay, my little couz, your wish is not remotely silly, but most heartfelt and sensible. And we both know that you've indeed found just the right man to deliver such a spanking very, very soon!

Padme: I have always wanted an OTK spanking from another woman. I have only had one spanking from a woman and that was a brief cropping. I'd love to experience a very hard spanking from a woman. That is one kind of spanking I've always wanted and have not been able to get yet. :)

Zille: I’ve never been “horsed” – that is, put my arms around the shoulders of another person, who then bends forward so I am lifted off of the floor and helpless to avoid the blows. This was pretty popular in England for corporal punishment in Victorian times (and lasting for a while after in school discipline.) This is more a position for caning or birching than actually spanking, but I’ve been in all the positions for spanking that I would like (well, at least that I know about!). However, I haven’t been over all of the laps I might like!

Ronnie: I've been spanked in many ways and in lots of different locations, but I would like a real public spanking pulled over whatever is available, skirt up, pants down and delivered hard, no nonsense. Of course, it would have to be in some place far away. I’m glad it's in my mind and won’t happen.

K: Hubby has only been spanking me for the last year, so I'm sure there are many more variations that we will try. However, there aren't any particular positions or types of spankings that I've been dying to try and haven't. I have little trouble sharing ideas as they occur to me and Hubby is usually quite eager, or at least agreeable, to try new things with me. What I'd really like as far as spankings go, is to be able to enjoy them without worrying that our Angel will wake up before we're satisfied. We're looking forward to her sleeping through the night, or even just longer than a couple hours at a time.

Betina: I think I'll join the commentators who said that they would like to try a true and honest discipline spanking. It would be a spanking I knew for sure I could not get out of and one that would leave me in tears. The spanking would include stern talk and lecturing while I'm over his knee with my bottom bared. After it’s over (maybe with corner time), I would be held by the man I love and told how much he loves me.

I find it hard to actually accept that this is what I crave, and I have no clue how I'd truly react if it ever happened. I came close to a discipline spanking once, but honestly, I doubt it will ever happen for real. Until then, I'll just wish for more of the spankings that he initiates, which are very rare. And I will hope that he when he initiates, he will take me further without me having to ask for more.

Frank Spanko: If an imaginary spanko can have a fantasy spanking, mine would be to be spanked in front of an audience. I desire not just to be spanked in front of another person or couple, or while a few people watch, but on a stage with a fair number of people in attendance. I would be lead out, perhaps naked, perhaps wearing only a shirt of some sort. Someone would then read what my offense was and what my punishment was to be.

I would them be ordered to face the audience and assume the position. A stern but beautiful woman would then deal with me, using a wooden paddle or a very sturdy leather strap. I would be given a number of strokes, very hard, that I had to count out, while the audience was able to view the discomfort on my face. I would then be told to turn around so that the viewers could see the implement punishing my bottom, and given an equal number of strokes.

When the punishment was complete, I would again have to face the audience and thank my punisher. She would ask if my bottom hurt badly, and I would respond that it did. She would then ask if I had learned my lesson, and I would again respond in the affirmative. Properly chastised, I would be led offstage where I would be allowed to dress and leave, hoping that I would never have to return to that stage again, but knowing that I would.

Hmmm, this might make a good story, don't you think?

I think it already is.

Todd and Suzy: We've been very lucky and thus have been able to experience almost every spanking scenario we can think of. We would very much like to enjoy a spanking on the beach though. Say Maui... close to the water, a long and relaxed bare bottom spanking.

Lucy: I have always wanted to be spanked past my pain threshold. All of the spankings I have had so far have been tolerable. I'm curious as to what I am capable of taking. Plus, I would love having a Top who wasn't afraid to push my limits.

I would also like to experience the traditional "Six of the Best."

Michelle: I've been thinking a lot about a variety of implements. We have several prevertables (a wooden spoon, a ping-pong paddle, a ruler, a slotted spatula), but few purpose made implements (only a riding crop).

I've been thinking about being flogged of late. I think a cat o’ nine tails, with heavy braided plaits or one of the ones that has all the little, thin leather strips could provide a variety of interesting sensations.

I've also thought a heavy leather paddle might be interesting. Our current paddle makes a lot of noise, but doesn't pack much of a wallop. A nice thuddy paddle might be fun.

I'd like there to be more of the over the furniture, skirts up, panties down variety as well, but I do get them and there have been some very memorable ones, just not quite as often as I'd like.

Bonnie: I will stick with the answer I gave in my previous post. I would like to experience spanking (and lovemaking) in zero gravity. I think it would be mind-blowing to live, love, and spank in three dimensions. In this weightless environment, the number of possible positions, for spankings or sex, is almost endless.

Thank you to everyone who joined in today’s discussion. For those who thought about speaking up, but weren’t quite sure, I encourage you to let your voice be heard. We’ll all be back here again next week and all MBS readers are welcome to participate (yes, even YOU). Until then, may your week be positive, productive, enjoyable, and filled with all the spankings you desire.

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Dec 7

Our topic of the week was the positives and negatives of publishing a spanking-oriented blog. Here are your thoughts.

Greenwoman: I love my blogs. I think the greatest reward I get from my writing is the joy I experience from inspiration and the creative process. It feels good to feel that zing going through me when words suddenly start tumbling about my head forming sentences almost faster than I can write them.

I love the conversation that is often generated from posts I write. It makes my day to hear others speak about their own lives and how my writing might have touched them or stimulated memories. That's really fun.

I think that some people in my life find my writing uncomfortable at times. Mostly, though, I think that it has only been a positive impact. It’s an outlet for my creative process, for my feelings, and for a little socialization too sometimes. The moments when there's a negative are few and far between and I find there are no lasting negatives because I'm an adult and they are too and there's nothing to be all embarrassed about. It’s just spanking and erotic feelings.

Fanny: I write a blog about sexual issues, but it's not a spanking blog. I'd like for it to be, but friends read it who would be shocked if I talked about spanking. I've considered starting a new blog that is about spanking and domestic discipline and not give away my authorship. If I do start one, I'll let you know and you can list it with your other new ones. I love your list of new spanking bloggers and I check out all of them!

Fanny, when you’re ready, you can count on a link from MBS.

Lee: Before now, time, and relationship situations prevented me from starting a blog. I found your blog as an undergrad who takes around 18 credit hours and works three part-time jobs. I just didn't have the time to publish. I also have not been a relationship until recently and had no experiences to share (although I did think about publishing some of my fictional work).

Now that I'm about to graduate, I have accepted a fairly prestigious job where any kind of whiff of a sexual-themed blog would ruin my career. In fact, my vanilla blog that does not share any type of "questionable" material (sexual or otherwise) is currently in question. I don't want to take the risk because the people I'm about to work for take this stuff pretty seriously.

Lee, I occasionally share anonymous guest posts if that outlet is ever of interest.

Andrades: Finally, here’s a question from one of your brunches that I can actually answer. Even though it may not look like it yet, I am actually writing a spanko blog. I am really enjoying the experience. I have already "met" such wonderful and supportive people, and I really need them at this juncture in my life. For me, one of the plusses of blogging is the creative part. It’s kind of like easy scrapbooking for spankos! I love all of the pictures that my fellow bloggers post, and I like searching for all of those beautiful spanking pictures. I am married, but my husband doesn’t know about my interest in spanking yet. But hopefully, one day soon, he will, and I can join in some of your other Sunday brunches.

BTW, I love your blog, it is sooo complex and there is so much to read and learn here. I have even gone wayyyy back and read your first posts. So, I sure do have a lot of reading to catch up on. Thanks for all you do to support the spanking community. Oh, and to answer another of your questions, I guess the only negative for me is that I still worry about privacy, so I am trying to be very careful on my blog

Andrades Girl, you’re linked! Thank you for your kind words about the blog.

M:e: I wouldn't call mine a spanking blog. It’s more one of sharing different aspects of me as I go through the world as a submissive woman.

How much D/s content appears there depends largely on M, but also on what else is going on in my life. Sometimes, I use it to ‘process.’ Sometimes, as Greenwoman says, it’s just because I enjoy writing and for some socialisation and a bit of R&R.

Ronnie: I am a very much a blogging newbie. I always read and love your brunches, but this is the first time I have left a comment. I’m not sure why I didn’t before. I can't believe how much, after only a short time, I am enjoying the experience of being able to join a community that understands. I also appreciate the support I have received and, of course, reading all of the other blogs.

I am not sure how much it will have an impact on my life, but think it will be good for me.

On the negative side, I probably would say not being able to tell friends and family about my blog. They would not understand and I know some of them would be very shocked. It’s a shame.

Eliane: I started writing my blog just for myself really. It was meant to help me think through things that I couldn't really talk about with other people. This aspect is still a large part of it, but I also now enjoy the comments, the interaction, and the fact that some of the people who comment are now real life friends :-)

I think blogging impacts the rest of my life in that it probably allows me an outlet to deal with my spanko side that I wouldn't have had before. Even though I don't claim to be a good writer, it is also something of a personal victory, as I found "creative" writing very hard when I was at school.

If there is a negative to blogging, I've yet to discover it. That will probably come on the day I forget to be so careful and someone who knows me in "real life" guesses who I am ;-)

Smudge: I agree with Eliane. I think the best part of blogging is interacting with other people, and that some of them are now friends in real life :-) And I like the creativeness, because I've never really written anything before and it's heaps of fun. I am also fond of the openness and the level of support.

The only negative I've really found with blogging is that I get quite a few creepy emails. It's great to talk with readers, and most of them are absolutely lovely, but when some random person with whom you've never spoken sends an email describing his sexual fantasies and how you feature in them, that's a little bit unsettling. This is especially true when they keep at it for ages and get stressed if you don't reply.

Girl: This is a very big question for me. I started Reformations years ago, but what few people know unless they look through the archives is that Reformations actually started life as "A Parallel Mind." That blog tragically had to be deleted, though I saved all the posts.

I started blogging as a neat hobby that turned into one of the few ways I could get through my teen years. Now I do it because it is cathartic, but also because it’s a way of jotting down important thoughts I need to work through, recognize, or otherwise deal with. I enjoy blogging too, and love using it as a means for procrastination. It’s arguably my most frequent hobby.

Blogging about spanking comes naturally to me as it has always been important in my life, even more so as I have a dominant person in my life now.

Blogging is also a lovely way of preserving memory.

Roissy Fille: I got as far as setting up a blog but have not yet written anything in it. It's partly because I'm not quite au fait with the technology (simple though it might be) and partly because, if I'm honest, I'm not sure if I feel brave enough to take the leap into sharing my innermosts with everyone on a regular basis. With that said, I do read you and many on your blogroll avidly. If I'm moved to comment, I feel OK about doing that. The interesting thing is that sometimes when I'm adding a comment to these excellent blogs, a lot of personal stuff comes out and I start thinking that maybe I should be blogging about it myself. Who knows? I might just get it together to do so and if I do you can take credit for inspiring me :-)

Spanky: My blog is about my life with my spanko wife Kallisto, which obviously does include some spanking, but there are other things too. To paraphrase Monty Python, it's like "spanking egg sausage and spanking, that's not got much spanking in it." So I'm not sure it qualifies as a purely "spanking-oriented blog."

I think what I enjoy most about blogging is meeting people and getting comments from those who say they enjoy reading what I write. That does happen sometimes.

The biggest negative about blogging by far is the amount of time that I spend on it, which could probably be better spent doing something else. However, I wouldn't say the blog negatively impacts the rest of my life. Although it would if anyone I knew found out about it.

Hermione: My spanking blog is very important to me. I love to read similar blogs and interact with other bloggers, and there came a time when commenting on other blogs just wasn't enough.

I'm so glad I started my own blog. I've never had so much fun! I have made many wonderful cyber-friends with the same interest in spanking. I'm constantly amazed at the number of people who find their way to my blog each day, and am always pleased when a reader lets me know I've touched a chord.

It's a wonderful creative outlet. I'm constantly on the lookout for spanking-related ideas that I can talk about on my blog, and the possibilities seem endless. My posts are cheerful, upbeat and positive. I won't write about anything negative or unpleasant unless there's a happy ending.

My blog is mine alone. I don't have to defer to anyone's wishes or follow someone else's recommendations. It's a place for my inner child to play, have fun, be creative, and even run with scissors.

Negatives? I am usually preoccupied with thinking about topics for posts. When you have a hammer, everything looks like a nail, and when you have a blog, everything turns into a mental post. The other downside is that, like my enthusiasm for spanking, the blog is a secret I can't reveal to anyone.

You know, this would make a great topic for a post.

morningstar: Yes, I have a blog. Would I call it a spanking blog? 75% of the time, I do discuss some form of spanking, but there’s also D/s and BDSM.

But, you know? After 940 posts, you kind of run out of new ways to write “he spanked/flogged/cropped me last night, and the sex was great...” Because my life is more than spanking, some days, I write about my stuff.

Like everyone, I had a reason to start it. I had been reading blogs online for a while and so many of them sounded like fairy tales where nothing ever went wrong. They always lived "happily ever after." Then I came across two or three blogs that were, to me, more real. Things didn't always go right. So I decided that it was OK to write a truthful blog.

Once started, it became an outlet for my thoughts, feelings, and opinions (and dear God, I do have a lot of those – opinions, I mean).

As far as negative side, I can't say there is a serious negative. Sir says that I stress over writing a blog some days. And I guess I do. But most days, there is no stress. The words tumble from my fingers on to the screen. I have learned an important lesson. I write for me. I don’t worry about stats, who reads, who doesn't, who comments, or who doesn't.

My lil blog has evolved into a not-so-private diary, and I enjoy the writing...

Jflame: This is an interesting topic, and now I'm actually qualified to comment.

I started my blog last week and it is most definitely about spanking.

What I most enjoy about blogging is the fact that people from other countries read it and that is sooo cool. There's also the fact that my Dom is very proud of me for doing so.

The biggest negative for me would be the nasty comments from cowards who will not leave their name. Even though I only have nine posts, I got a really negative comment the other day and it really upset me.

How is blogging impacting my life?
Well it takes up a lot of time.
I've made some new friends.
My spelling is improving.
I'm learning new things.
And it’s great fun.

Thoughtful Spanker: I do have a blog about spanking. It’s themed around my thoughts and what makes me think about spanking. I also use it as a outlet for my creative side. I post original stories that I've written or am in the process of writing.

Negatives? There’s only big one really. I tend to feel duty bound to post every day. Sometimes, real life or writers block interfere and I can't post. I actually feel guilty for not posting.

Thomas: I have two spanking blogs, though only one is truly "mine." The other is only mine in the strict legal concept of ownership. It's intended to be a shared blog where several spanko blogging friends promote their own blog musings.

The best part about my own blog, other than feeding my need to be a spanking exhibitionist, is the feedback that I get from my readers, whether it's in the form of comments, or private messages. When someone says that they look forward to certain features, or that an essay I wrote helped them get started in the spanking scene, it gives me a sense of pride.

It comes with some drawbacks, though. Posting regularly means that I have to take time away from other online activities. This is especially problematic now that my online time is limited. Plus, there are times when the dreaded "Anonymous" poster shows up to belittle or berate me or my lifestyle choices. Even though my blog is moderated, so the worst of these never see print, I still have to read their nonsense. I still post some of these, simply for the satisfaction of refuting them.

As for my other blog, the Spanking Bloggers Network, my greatest satisfaction comes from bringing new readers to all of the member blogs. Having been recently linked here on Bonnie's blog, our visits have jumped up in number. Unfortunately, we still have only four members, but hope to add more in the future.

Michelle: I have a mundane blog that I use to keep up with friends and family. I never talk about spanking there. I don't even have it listed in my interests nor do I subscribe to any spanking/other lists of a sexual nature. I really don't need my folks, in-laws, and sister knowing that much about my private life.

I'm also a federal employee. The odds of me losing my job over having a blog where I talk about spanking are slender, but not non-existent. I would hate to lose my job, which I love, because someone found my spanking blog.

I feel comfortable posting here, because my name is common enough that it would take some serious research to connect the dots and find out who I really am.

I'd love to talk about spanking more. I’d like to discuss how one deals with a partner who isn't as into it as much and thus gives fewer spankings than desired. I would also consider how one balances being a feminist and enjoying receiving corporal punishment (which Bonnie did very nicely a few weeks back). But the risk is just too much. I value my privacy too much to do more than comment here.

Michelle, if you would ever feel comfortable contributing an anonymous guest post for MBS, I can arrange that.

Paul: I suppose one day I'll get around to writing and publishing my own blog. But I enjoy reading and commenting on other blogs. The comments here are very interesting.

Our Bottoms Burn: We enjoy sharing a part of our lives with others and getting support and viewpoints from others.

The downside is never being as creative as you are, Bonnie.

Thanks, B & B!

Padme: I have a blog, although it's not just about spanking. My blog is mostly a diary about my life. Sometimes, there are spanking pictures or talk, but that's not what my blog is all about. I tried to have a strictly spanking blog, but I found it to be too much work. I'd rather use it as a way of expressing myself and connecting with other people.

The biggest negative about blogging is the time that it takes. I feel guilty if I go a few days without blogging. Sometimes, I feel like I should be doing other things rather than blogging.

I enjoy being able to meet new friends or being able to have fun with my blog too. Blogging has impacted my life a lot as well as my Master's. It's become a part of me and I don't see myself giving it up for a long time.

Daisy: No, I don't have a blog. I have a big mouth and would be sure to post so much about my life, albeit under an assumed name, that it would be impossible for people who knew me to not know it was me! Already, I have given so much away at various times. Oops! I would be mortified if anyone knew. My kids would be horrified, and my job would be on the line.
No, this suits me fine. I enjoy supporting you bloggers whose work lights and enhances my life. Thank you all!

Tom: We have a blog about out lives, and since we have spanking as a major aspect of our lives, it includes spanking. I say "we" when, in fact, I should say, my swan. She posts at least 95% of what is shared there with t and I as occasional contributors.

I ordered swan to start the blog about three and a half years ago. She was feeling isolated and depressed in her life as slave in a fMf poly triad intentional family. The greatest boon that our blog has provided us is a community of likeminded folks on the Internet and even some local people with whom we've occasionally been able to connect socially. Additionally, I think the bibliotherapeutic aspects of swan's writing have helped her through some tough times emotionally.

Drawbacks have involved occasionally locking into an abusive or exploitive relationship online, one or two of which we've allowed into our lives in real time. But it is long known you cannot have relationships without being hurt sometimes.

All in all, we love our blog, and particularly the people who have been kind enough to read there, take our lives to heart, and share theirs with us.

Jean Marie: I don't have a blog.

I have several issues. Though I love to write, especially about the many spankings I get and the fantasies about even more severe ones that I crave, I don't have time to blog. I'm a school teacher who puts in long hours, even on weekends.

No one except my lover knows my kinky side. Here in the South, I could be fired for behavior so scandalous. My colleagues would be dumbfounded to know that the outspoken feminist in their midst was a submissive spanko with a cherry red butt.

I long for the communication that my blogging would bring. My boyfriend is a phenomenal top, but not the most articulate. He's more the Neanderthal type who drags me by the hair to the bedroom where he has his way with me seven ways from Sunday on a regular basis (Oooh, when he reads this, I'm gonna get such a blistering...).

Robin: I write because I need to get the words and thoughts out of my head. I blog because it is a way for me to connect with others who are maybe experiencing or have experienced similar things. We can share and learn from one another.

The main topics are spankings, sex, D/s, and my relationship. Well, those aren't things generally brought up in 'polite' conversation and sometimes I just need to get everything out – the good and the bad – and blogging allows that. It makes what I'm experiencing and thinking more real.

On the negative side, it can be time consuming. I can get into a 'dead zone' where I just can’t get any words out. Most of all, my husband just doesn't get it – the reading, the writing, and the sharing. Most times, he just lets it go. But occasionally, I feel I am defending myself and my blogging activities.

But because I've experienced so much good from blogging, I don't think I'd ever be able to give it up now.

Prefectdt: "What is it about blogging that you enjoy?"

I'm pretty isolated (geographically) as far as having a day-to-day kinky community to just chat about things. The blog, although not as good as seeing people face to face, goes a long way towards filling that gap. It is also a great way to communicate with people all over the world.

"What is the biggest negative?"

Time! It is always a fight to find the time to blog, comment on other blogs and especially, keep up with the e-mails (some people have been waiting for months for a reply from me).

"How does blogging impact the rest of your life?"

It helps me to feel a lot less isolated from the rest of the spanking world.

Sara: That’s a good question, Bonnie! I answered on my blog, Finding Sara. Thanks for the inspiration!

Thank you, Sara, for sharing your wisdom.

Dr. Ken: Yes, I have a blog. It's called Spanking Minnesota (I'm a Spanker, I live in Minnesota – put the two together and you get a blog name).

It's MOSTLY about spanking, but I try not to limit myself to that. There have been days when I've written about sports, or posted a picture with a (hopefully) comedic caption that I made up, or wrote a song parody.

I don't have a regular spanking partner, so the blog can't be about my "daily experiences." The overall theme of the blog is "fun," and the best part are the times when my creativity kicks into gear and lets me do something a little different.

For me, the only negative is the feeling I sometimes get that I HAVE TO POST something. I don't have a regular posting schedule, so things go up when I feel like it. But if I haven't put anything up for a few days, I start to put pressure on myself to do something – and that's not conducive to a good entry.

As for how blogging makes an impact on my life, it has let me develop some very nice blog friends, people I never would have come across or heard of otherwise. I comment on their blogs, they comment on mine, I comment on their comments... It's just very enjoyable.

Xan: I am really new to adult spanking and blogging. Blogging helps me figure out what I am really feeling and thinking about spanking. Reading other blogs about spanking makes me feel more a part of this new world I've joined.

Bonnie: As a matter of fact, I do publish a spanking-oriented blog. When I started this blog, I was looking primarily for an outlet for my writing. When one’s favorite topic is adult spanking, there aren’t very many conventional distribution channels. I was delighted, initially by the creative freedom and soon thereafter by the incredibly supportive community I had joined.

I enjoy being able to choose the topic, how it will be presented, and when it will go to press. As someone with a journalism background, these are rare luxuries. Better still is the almost instantaneous feedback.

At an entirely different level, I treasure the human relationships we have developed over the past three plus years. Beyond what you see here, I have corresponded with hundreds of spanking enthusiasts. We share ideas, suggestions, problems, and advice. I have comforted and been comforted. I have encouraged and been encouraged. As I’ve said before, I believe I would have stopped blogging long ago were it not for the wonderful people I’ve met.

As for the negative side, as others said, it’s the time requirements. For a couple of years, I tried to post every day, answer all of the mail, visit other blogs, respond to comments, and maintain a huge blogroll. I enjoyed being so productive, but over time, it became unsustainable. Now I post less frequently and share fewer stories. This is an uneasy compromise, but it has extended my longevity as a blogger.

The impact of blogging on the rest of our lives was something I didn’t fully anticipate. Writing and reading about erotic spankings frequently reignites the sexual flames for Randy and me. Retelling a good story makes it somehow more real. Reading of others’ successes inspires more innovation. These effects have helped to keep our marriage lively and fun.

Thank you to everyone who joined us for brunch and contributed to this great discussion. I hope you'll check in again next Sunday.

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Oct 5

Our topic this week was how spankings are concluded. Here are your insights.

Thomas: Unfortunately, my only comment can be that there is no single way that one of my spankings ends. It depends entirely upon the circumstances and the reasons for the spankings. It can even change from one spankee to another. In most cases, the spanking ends with more intense swats than it started with, but even this isn't set in stone. It may end in aftercare, snuggling, scolding or corner time, lovemaking, or even just a brief pause before more spanking.

Olivia: I think there was a period of time when I used to feel that it was up to my Disciplinarian to just * know * when I'd had enough, when I had been fully punished or when I had reached a certain place emotionally that was where I needed to be. There are times still when that is the case, but we have also reached a point where feedback from me is helpful to us both. This may be done through him gently asking "do you feel properly punished?" I have to be really honest about that. I know that even though my bottom may be very sore, I mentally still have some way to go. I also know that as intuitive as he is, he can't always read my mind and I shouldn't expect him to do so.

"Wrapping" a spanking up depends upon the context in which it has been given. For punishment, this is often likely to be through my tears, the release that I feel in being properly dealt with, the sense of forgiveness and a clean slate to step forward, and his kind words acknowledging what has happened. If the spanking has been given in another kind of context, what follows feels very personal and private to share. I believe those moments right after a spanking are the most intimate and special of all, and encapsulate what is most unique between just the two of you.

Whatever kind of spanking it is, as it comes to an end, there is always bottom rubbing, and cuddling, and connection and closeness. This sometimes has a beautiful stillness to it, and at other times there is an electricity that needs to be acted upon.

Prefectdt: If it is a paid for spanking, time’s up when time’s up. For a spanking with a fellow amateur enthusiast, once my mind is in the right place, I would be happy for it to go on forever and ever. Therefore, I leave it up to the lady who is topping. Usually, it ends for one of four reasons: (1) She has worked out her frustrations, (2) She reached the point where she has had her fun, (3) I'm showing too much damage and so it is time to stop for safety reasons, or (4) she is worn out (I like it when the last one is the case).

I prefer the final strokes when they are announced and they are something special An example might be twelve extra hard strokes with the biggest cane.

Afterwards, I'm pretty much a non-sex player, so usually coffee, a smoke (where allowed) and a coming back to real (vanilla) life chat seems to be beneficial for both parties.

Dr. Ken: I don't know that I would call it a "technique," but in wrapping up a spanking, the last dozen or so swats are usually the hardest to either drive the lesson home (if it's "that kind" of a spanking) or to make sure she remembers it.

I use a simple verbal check to make sure that we're on the same page in regard to the state of the spanking. It can be something as simple as, "Do you think you've learned your lesson, young lady?" If she's not ready for the session to be over, she can say, "No!" or "Well, maybe." That is my cue to keep on spanking. If she says, "Yes," then it's time to finish. (If she says, "Yes, sir" I KNOW it's time to wrap it up). :-)

When it's over, I usually will spend some time rubbing her sore bottom until she feels she wants to get off my lap, then some hugs and aftercare like cuddling or snuggling and some light conversation about what just happened.

Daisy: He tends to slow down near the end, but the spanks get harder. It’s sort of a build up to a grand finale! It’s kind of common also, especially if it’s a discipline/attitude adjuster, for him to ask if I think I can be good now. These are never rhetorical questions. He expects an answer because he can tell from the tone of my voice whether he has gotten through to me. He warns that if not, this will have been just a taster!

Immediately after the spanking, he will usually fondle and rub and squeeze my ass, maybe tenderly apply an icepack ("first aid" - he is sooo sweet like that), hold me real close and whisper lovingly into my ear. He tells me how much he loves me, or if I have been very bad, lecture me and warn me. This is sooo sexy. Mostly afterwards, it will lead to (you know... LOL) tender, passionate, animalistic... Whatever feels right... xxx

Girl: My spankings generally end with more severe swats at a count of five. This may result in comfort afterwards. Even after the comfort, I may be subjected to further spanks, simply because he's inspired himself...

It is also expected that I'll inspect the damage afterwards. Sometimes, I'm just sent to bed.

Spanky: We don't have any particular techniques or signals to indicate the spanking is almost done. I do like Girl's idea of counting down at the end with some more severe swats, and we will have to give that a try. What generally happens immediately after spanking is fellatio for me, followed by sex. The sequence of spanking, BJ, and sex is now ingrained into our daily ritual.

Thanks again for your inspiration!

Hermione: I usually know a spanking is nearing its conclusion when the pace quickens and the spanks come much faster. They may also be somewhat harder than earlier ones. For Ron, my state of sexual arousal determines when he will bring the spanking to an end. He'll also stop if he sees any real damage to my bottom, but that's very rare. When he puts the implement down, we always make love.

Paul: I am strongly of the opinion that the Top/Dom should know his bottom/sub so well that he can read her body language and should know when a spanking should end.

Spanking punishments are a set number of strokes or time and always end with the last strokes being the hardest.

Whatever sort of spanking, after care is mandatory. This may include a tight hug and affirmation that you still love her and all is clear between you and any first aid that may be necessary. With us, any other sort ended with hot, loving sex.

PM Duo: Generally, I let him make the decision about when to end. I always know he's almost finished because he'll slow down and the swats are softer and more caressing because his interest is going in other directions. Spanking is a precursor to lovemaking for us, so that's always the next step!

Tom: Often at the end of a spanking, I will have swan kiss the last implement I've used on her and say, "Thank you for my spanking, Sir."

That signals to her it's time to sigh with relief and know her spanking is finally at an end, and not just paused for some stroking or selection of another implement.

Occasionally, I will respond to her thanks with, "You... are... very... wel... come," with each syllable punctuated with a swat to provide her four final whacks and to end the proceedings memorably for her.

Todd and Suzy: Honestly, I have never really thought about it before, but there indeed is a ritual to the ending of most spankings. If it's an erotic spanking, the actual spanking slowly morphs from spanking-spanking to spanking-erotic to erotic-spanking to erotic-erotic. That rhythm and pace is dictated by how turned-on we are. It’s very much like foreplay to sex.

Otherwise, the other types of spankings pretty much always feature a hard final spank. In fact, the last spank of a spanking is always the hardest single spank of the entire session. It doesn't matter whether it's role play, fun or a real discipline spanking, there is a build-up to the last spank. During discipline, there is usually a very brief scolding before the last one. It goes something like, “You had better not find yourself in this position again, or the next spanking is going to be even worse... Understand?” WHACK!

The build-up during other kinds of spankings is obviously more playful, but there is indeed a build-up to a final *hard* spank. It can come with a question such as, “Now this is the last one. Do you know what that means?” Then there are several “fake” swats. The hand or paddle is on her bottom, then is lifted and on the way back down, fast and hard, stops at the last moment. The bottom tenses, breath is held, tension is, but there is no spank. Not that time at least. It will come though!

It pretty much works that way at spanking parties too. However, I do notice that many spankers have no way of ending a session other than basically saying, “Okay, we're done.” I believe there is very much a little ritual to close a spanking.

Greenwoman:Wow, Tom's way of ending a spanking is quite sexy. *grins*

M's way of ending a spanking was to use a specific rhythm. I hadn't ever thought of it before now. I like this question, because you've reminded me of something that I used to really like about his spankings. He would always end with the three hardest swats of all in a waltzing sort of rhythm, the fourth in the cycle, bring to bring his hand down gently to rub my bottom and then curve his hand around my hip to draw me into a new position. Sometimes, it was for other sorts of play. Other times, it was to curl into a spoon with my hot bottom against his groin and his arms around me.

Good memories....*smiles*

DG: It has taken me somewhere very lovely, still and quiet. I rather think that every ending is different, as others have said. Yet I know there are elements of ritual that we observe. At times, I am asked if I have been punished enough (I am sure he knows how I will answer). Only once have I nodded in answer to that question. There are always physical and emotional signals that it is coming to an end. Examples include pace, strength of the strokes, the way our eyes meet, and the way he holds me or I touch him. But I actually think that the proper end only comes some time after, after the cuddling, after the quiet conversation, when I am dressed and have returned to work cooking, walking, or whatever everyday activity I need to attend to, and I am undertaking it with a very sore, red and burning bottom and a lightness of spirit. And it is this that is the same at the end of every spanking, and it is this that is the real close.

Anon VII: When we do over-the-lap, I let my rather long middle finger brush against her most private area as I lift my hand following each of the last several spanks before the grand finale, which is three hard ones on the lower-center area followed by gentle stroking of her bottom with my fingertips.

When we use the paddle for stress-relief, usually after an over-the-lap warm up, I tell her how many she's going to get (typically five on tight pants or three on panties or the bare, laid on hard), and she understands that breaking position (usually the ankle-grab) will result in one or more extra swats tacked on at the end. Even though she knows when the end is coming, I usually say something like "Last one, love," make her wait a little extra time, pat her bottom two or three times with the board, and then deliver the swat full-force.

For us, the after-care is an important part of the ritual, especially after a paddling. I take her over my lap again and spray on Medi-Quick or Solarcaine, followed by applications of aloe and ice. The process is deliberately protracted to allow the pain to subside, libido to heighten, and affectionate feelings to build.

Finally, I pick her up in my arms and carry her to bed, where intense lovemaking invariably follows.

Bonnie: Randy, like Thomas, employs a variety of different techniques. Many times, though, he seems to fade out more than build up. This progression is much as PM Duo describes. He starts to mix in rubbing and before long, we’ve crossed the line into lovemaking. This is usually the way our spankings conclude.

Thanks to everyone who contributed this week. I hope you’ll join us again next Sunday for another spanko discussion.