Incredibly Personal Q&A Part VI

Hey everybody. Happy Autumn. We’re still alive and still spanking.

Longtime readers, if you’re still around, will remember Tom, the serial poser of inappropriate queries. Tom says he’s read every word I ever wrote here so he’s a very loyal fan. Tom takes special glee in asking me intimate and potentially embarrassing questions. Every so often, at random intervals, I get another inquisitive email message. Most of his questions I will answer, but some I reject, often because I don’t want to out myself or Randy. When I get enough answers, I gather them up and publish them here. So, let’s jump in.

Q101: Would you rather be spanked in the ankle grab position or the diaper position?

A101: Both of these spankings hurt intensely and for the same reason. A taut bottom is less able to absorb the impacts. If I must choose, I’ll reluctantly take the ankle grab.

Q102: Do you ever worry about your bra being visible in public?

A102: I make an effort to conceal it. Underwear goes under. However, if a strap slips out, it doesn’t ruin my day.

Q103: It sounds like Randy is using wooden paddles on you more often. Is this the case?

A103: Yes, I would say so. He moved to the heavier implements when he was sick, and he liked the results, so he never fully transitioned back.

Q104: Have you ever used a menstrual cup?

A104: No.

Q105: You describe having wide hips. To what extent is this a problem?

A105: I guess that depends upon your definition of a problem. I’ve been pear shaped since I was a young teenager, and I’ve made peace with my body. I’m a fairly average sized woman who happens to have an extra-large bottom. I'm a broad. There was a time when I spent time worrying about that aspect of my appearance. But my husband loves how I look and that’s good enough for me.

In a business setting, I dress conservatively to encourage male colleagues to look at my face and hear my words. We used to have casual Fridays in the office. When I wore jeans, I had to deal with a lot more random pop-in visitors including managers who I never saw any other time.

Out in the world, there can be issues. There is a beautifully restored theatre where we used to attend live performances. My breadth doesn’t fit between the rigid armrests. I’ve had this happen in older airplane seats too. But I can live with a few compromises.

Q106: Do you consider yourself a tradwife?

A106: No, definitely not. I’ve held a job for almost my entire adult life. I was a mom, but that was never all I was. Randy asks me to do things, but I can resist or even refuse if I feel strongly. Even my hardest spankings can he halted with one word. My consent is fully intact.

Q107: Do you still wear pantyhose?

A107: Yes, though much less frequently than in the past, especially during hot weather. I often wear a skirt or dress, and pantyhose just seems right for some occasions.

Q107: How does it change the spanking experience for you when you know it’s being video recorded?

A107: I used to worry about how I looked or what I said, but it has happened so many times that I barely think about it now. He spends hours setting up, recording, editing, and curating all those videos. I have the easy part.

Q108: If you could get only one type of spanking for the rest of your life, what would it be?

A108: It would be one where I lay over Randy’s lap with my skirt raised and he spanks me with a small leather paddle. The beauty of that paddle is that it stings but doesn’t do too much serious damage. This allows for long hard spankings.

Q109: Do you really like playing the bad girl?

A109: I love playing the naughty girl in desperate need of attitude adjustment. There are so many more delicious emotions at play when corporal punishment feels real. That scenario gives Randy license to do things that I don’t expect.

Q110: Do you still wear thong panties everyday including right now?

A110: Yes.

Q111: Where do you stand in the upcoming US election?

A111: I reject fear, prejudice, violence, greed, autocracy, and hate.

Q112: Can a severe spanking change your mind about something?

A112: That’s not usually the purpose of our spankings, but I do tend to think a lot as I drift back to Earth afterward.

Q113: You said you sleep in a nightgown. Can you describe it?

A113: I own more than one. Summer nightgowns are short and sleeveless. The rest of the year I wear longer ones. I like comfortable cotton, but satiny fabrics also have their place. I prefer pastel colors and prints with lace, bows, or ribbons. A ruffled hem is extra fun.

Q114: What are your favorite pizza toppings?

A114 If I get to pick, it’s veggie.

Q115: What for you is the most embarrassing part of being spanked?

A115: It’s the possibility that someone we know (or everyone we know!) could learn about what we’ve been doing all these years and judge us for it.

Q116: Were you ever tied spread eagle and spanked?

A116: Yes, several times, though not lately. I think I wrote an account of one such spanking.

Q117: How did you get the name Bonnie?

A117: I think I’ve answered this one before. Bonnie is my real first name. It appears on my birth certificate. My mother got the idea from a character in a movie. When I first jumped on the internet in the nineties, I didn’t know enough to select a pseudonym, so Bonnie I am.

Q118: Are there activities you avoid immediately after you are spanked?

A118: I seek to avoid the gym, gynecologist visits, swimming, wearing shorts, and situations that require long stretches of time sitting on a hard surface. Randy likes to arrange that last one.

Q119: Do you ever wish Randy would spank you much harder or more often?

A119: I have no complaints.

Q120: Have you been spanked today?

A120: No, but it’s still morning.

There you have it. Tom is (still) a nosy fellow, but he is polite, and his curiosity seems genuine. Education has always been a fundamental mission of this blog, and I hope my candor helps someone to understand.

Ask Bonnie

Hello again, dear friends. I bring you just one reader question this time, but it's a fun one.

Question: How does it feel to be a wife who gets her bare bottom spanked hard with a wood paddle?

Silly Bonnie: It's exactly like a trip to the circus, but without the ringmaster, clowns, lions, jugglers, acrobats, elephants, barkers, freaks, calliope, trapeze performers, cotton candy, games of skill, flaming hoops, and the high wire act.

Blunt Bonnie: How do you think it feels? It hurts like hell!

Scientific Bonnie: Disciplinary paddlings cause a conspicuous reddening of the lower buttocks that can persist for several hours. This visible effect is generally accompanied by painful reactions in the afflicted areas. An intense but superficial sting arises at the time of spanking and fades within a few hours. A deeper throbbing pain persists longer and may cause profound discomfort while seated. After repeated forceful strikes in the same spots, temporary numbness may occur. The skin becomes warm to the touch as blood flows to the punished region. The skin's surface may also lose elasticity and acquire a rough texture.

Turn Around Bonnie: I suggest there is only one way to truly find the answer you seek. I recommend you experience a long hard paddling for yourself, right on your bare butt. If you cannot find someone to swing the paddle, do it yourself. As I am often reminded, a spanking is the only way you will learn. Look for a hardwood paddle with rounded edges, at least half an inch thick, and of sufficient length to reach the bottom of each cheek. Start with about twenty swats and go from there. You too can become a member of our exclusive club.

Psychologist Bonnie: Accepting vigorous paddlings brings me fulfillment in ways I struggle to fully explain. I embrace my role of the bad girl deserving of severe corporal punishment. I crave the full ritual including all of the pain and embarrassment. It brings me happines to watch the video later and relive everything he says and does to me. It thrills me to have vivid memories flood back into my mind when I sit down. Spanking is our kink.

Just Plain Bonnie: Spankings are one aspect of our excellent lives together.

Ask Bonnie: Wishing for Spring Edition

Happy Almost Spring, friends. We've been busy with lots of stuff, so I've been away from the blog. But I'm here now with some reader questions.

Question: When did you first know you have a large bottom?

Bonnie: I guess we'll start with this familiar topic. I don't recall anyone phrasing the question this way before. I think it's an inherent design feature. I always knew. Back in junior high, I learned that boys knew too. Not a happy memory.

Question: Would you sell your paddles/thongs?

Bonnie: That's not business I want to transact. You can order paddles through any quality internet vendor. Thongs are available everywhere.

Question: You say you get spanked because you are bad. What bad things make you so deserving?

Bonnie: I give discourteous answers to questions like this one.

Question: Dear Mrs X – do you have any suggestions how a man can find a lady with the same interests and Pleasures regarding spanking as you do?

Bonnie: You might want to check out local kink groups or online forums.

Question: Do you know anyone in ____ that would be willing to spank me

Bonnie: I’m sorry. I don’t know anyone who lives there. I suggest you seek like-minded people in your area.

Question: you referenced a cane that was more useful for less intensity than a standard school sized cane. Could you point me in the right direction in terms of size? Length, material?

Bonnie: We bought that cane from a store named Cane-iac. They are still in business, but in the process of closing. The cane I described is wooden, fairly light, and about 24 inches long. It is well suited for OTK use.

Question: How can you permit a man to beat your body with a stick?

Bonnie: Yeah. OK. Explanation time. I don’t permit this, we agree in advance. Second, that man is my husband to whom I’ve been married for my entire adult life and with whom I share many wonderful memories, both spanking and otherwise. Third, it’s a spanking not a beating. The focus is my bottom, not my whole body. My spankings happen for a specific purpose. It hurts, but I sustain no lasting damage. Finally, he doesn’t use some random stick he found along the highway. Most often, it’s a paddle that we purchased to deliver spankings. I consent and I am an active participant.

Question: how do i create my own spanking bench

Bonnie: We bought ours, but you can search for "spanking bench" plans or "spanking bench" blueprints. There appear to be several choices. Good luck!

Question: Is spanking a turn-on?

Bonnie: That’s a big 10-4 good buddy

Question: Have you ever had to sign a paddle after you were paddled with it?

Bonnie: Yes, that’s a dynamic we enjoy. I have signed the paddle to memorialize a hard punishment gratefully accepted.

Question: Are you thinking about retiring?

Bonnie: Retiring from what? Spankings: No, Blogging: Who knows?, Work: It’s on the table.

That's it for now. If you want to send me a question, click the Ask Bonnie symbol near the bottom of the right column.

Ask Bonnie: Frost on the Pumpkin Edition

Let's answer a few more reader questions

Question - Does Randy take pictures of your red bottom when you're wearing a thong?

Bonnie - Yes, I've seen quite a few like that

Question - I always thought you and Randy were into fun or no reason or funishment type spankings, but on your blog you write things like:

    • I am a bad girl who earns harsh discipline
    • I receive traditional corporal punishment
    • These are hard lessons delivered with love
    • He paddles me often and I totally deserve it
    • Punishment spankings are my #1 turn-on

Are you playing discipline with Randy or do you really want him to correct your behavior? Are you saying that in addition to having a spanking kink you have a punishment kink?

Bonnie - Punishment spankings and traditional corporal punishment rituals have always been among my major kinks. They appeal to me at a different level than fun, erotic, or celebratory spankings (all of which I also love). There is no genuine behavior correction, except inside my head. But we have all the trappings. Randy knows exactly which buttons to push and he mashes them hard.

Follow-up Question - What is your favorite punishment story you have written?

Bonnie - I don't know that I have written explicitly punishment stories, but I think many of them have elements. Consent is essential for me so many pure punishment story lines are outside my bounds. I recognize that along with being a storyteller, I am also a teacher. I want readers to understand that consent is absolutely mandatory. In real life, even naughty girls have the right to control their own bodies.

Question - I love your blog. Will you link my [non-spanking] blog?

Bonnie - Thank you for your words of praise for MBS. My blogroll is already enormous. Were I to try to link every flavor of kinky blog, it would soon become completely unmanageable. So I stick to the topic of adult consensual spanking.

Bonnie - Whoever suggested keeping plugs in the refrigerator is on my bad list. Just when I thought Randy doesn't read the blog...

Question - Would you ever want to host a video show or channel on the subject of spankings?

Bonnie - I don't think so. If they had such things years ago, I might have been tempted. But today, I am content with this blog as an outlet for all my spanko expression. I have precious little time or energy for the things I am supposed to be doing.

Question - I know you recently celebrated a birthday. My birthday wish for you would be for all of your readers to form a spanking tunnel for you to crawl through! I think you crawling through a spanking tunnel while folks smacked your bottom would be awesome. I would keep running to the back of the line so I could get some more swats in. Does the thought of crawling through a spanking tunnel appeal to you?

Bonnie - I appreciate the thought, but my crawling skills are not what they once were. Besides, my hips might be too wide for that tunnel.

Comment - I like UR butt.

Bonnie - Thank you. It serves me well.

Question - Have you ever had anyone rip or cut off your clothing?

Bonnie - Yes, and it's kind of a funny story. Long before we had our spanking bench, Randy would tie me to our old coffee table in the living room. One time he had me all rigged up when he realized that I was still wearing panties and he couldn't manage to pull them down without undoing a lot of his ropery. Soon after, he showed up with a pair of scissors and made quick work of what were once my underwear. I giggled the whole time over his predicament and solution. The ensuing spanking did little to reduce the humor. I made him buy me a new pair.

That old coffee table met an unfortunate fate some time later when it collapsed during other adult activities. We laughed about that episode as well, until Randy's mother showed up later and asked about it. He and I just looked at each other and tried not to crack up. She rolled her eyes and moved on to another subject. Damn kids don't respect anything.

Question - How do you feel about a straight guy who likes to be spanked with a hairbrush while wearing ladies pink nylon briefs?

Bonnie - Life is short and panties are plentiful. Live the life you love.

Question - What can you do to get yourself spanked?

Bonnie - Uh, breathe? In the early days of this blog, I used the tagline, "Spankings Happen." And so they do. There are many things I can do to advance the timetable, but I know that my next seat swat special is always on the horizon. I encourage my husband occasionally with stunts like wandering around the house in leggings, bending over to pick up something right in front of him, or handing him a spanking implement. But these are almost unnecessary because he enjoys swinging the paddle as much as I enjoy feeling it land.

Question - I am a 42-year old married mother of two. I've never been spanked, but I've fantasized about it my entire life, and now I really want to know what I've been missing. I haven't exactly asked my husband, but I've hinted. He's sweetly oblivious and has no idea what I want. I'd like him to give me real spankings like I read about on your blog and others. But I don't know how to start. What would you suggest?

Bonnie - Your first task should be to know your own mind. How important is this kink to you? Are you willing to risk changing the nature of your relationship with your husband to pursue it? Do you feel you can convince him to accompany you on this journey?

The next step is to plan your pitch. You want him to join you as you learn together about spanking and experience the many different aspects. I wrote a tutorial about this topic that you may find helpful. Please remember that while you've pondered this question for a long time, it will be all new for him. You may need to give him space to think.

Finally, you will need to start a conversation with your husband. I can't tell you whether this will be easy or difficult. This article offers some tips. If he is willing to read or watch videos, there are lots of great resources available.

I wish you the very best in your quest for your first spanking, and hopefully, a whole lot more great ones after that.

That's about it for this time. If you have a question, send it in. Thanks for reading!

Ask Bonnie: Your Questions Answered

I want to offer big thanks to everyone who answered my call for content suggestions. Let's take a look at some of the questions that came in as comments or messages.

Question: Did Randy ever send you off in the morning with a sore red bottom underneath your jeans? Or did he ever wait for you at home with a paddle and then set fire to the seat of your pants?

Bonnie: Yes, both of those events occurred, though more often the latter than the former.

Question: Imagine someone you knew invited several guests, including you, to their house to witness them spanking their spouse for some perceived misdeed. How would that make you feel? Would you go? Would Randy go, too?

Bonnie: I'd start by wondering how they figured out we were spankos. Then I'd wonder why they would invite us if they didn't know that. I would be concerned for the spankee. Is this all consensual? Would our presence serve to humiliate the spankee? I would be intrigued to watch someone else get spanked, but my level of interest would depend upon the answers to the previous questions. Unless these were friends known to him, it's unlikely that Randy would want to meet new people this way.

Question: What would it be like to be invited to a game night, where the punishment for losing would be a spanking?

Bonnie: Attending an event like this would be outside our experience. I'm intrigued, but the likelihood of convincing Randy to go is low. I would not go without him.

Spanking games create a dilemma for me. Of course, the whole point is to create a scenario where I get spanked. Without that aspect, it's not a spanking game. That's fine. It's a worthwhile reason to play. But I want to win! It's a competition and I won't pretend to be incompetent just to get my spanking. And what do I get if I do win? No spanking? I don't think I like that game.

Question: Have all those spankings changed your behavior?

Bonnie: Possibly, but only for a short duration.

Question: Is the whole theory of using punishment to get people to behave better faulty?

Bonnie: I wouldn't infer a general conclusion based upon my response alone. Every couple is different and some of us are more different than others.

Question: Has Randy ever used a plug on you that's been kept in the fridge?

Bonnie: No, and let's not suggest that again.

Question: Why do people publish spanking blogs? Is it money?

Bonnie: I think the answers are the same for any social content producer:

• You have something to say / content to share


• You seek to meet like-minded friends and create / build community


• You appreciate receiving feedback and affirmation from readers


• You seek a means of creative expression

I don't monitize my blog, but some do. I can't speak for the current generation of TikTok-ers, but I have to think that if publishing is just about earning money, it will soon become a drudge. To succeed in the long term, a content creator has to love what they do and the people for whom they do it.

The other problem, for me at least, is that taking money from advertisers brings your objectivity into question. I want readers to know that my opinions are my own.

Question: Have you ever read a spanking fiction story that you think would make a good movie starring you and Randy.

Bonnie: I look forward to the day when we see a mainstream film that portrays sane, normal characters who happen to be spanking enthusiasts. Until now, such characters always have been presented as weird or damaged. The story could be spanking fiction, but it could be any story that happens to feature spanking(s).

As for starring Randy and me, that's pretty unlikely. I do some acting, but lately, I've been playing mostly granny roles. You might be able to talk Randy into helping out with the control board, but he is not going to appear on stage or in front of a camera.

Question: What's it like to get spanked while you are wearing a girdle?

Bonnie: Now this question is a real golden oldie. My first answer is "Why don't you buy one and find out for yourself?"

To answer the question, I own a couple of traditonal girdles, but they are not part of my wardrobe rotation. They come out exclusively for retro spanking scenarios. I can tell you that a girdle provides more effective protection than any pair of panties, any pants, skirt, or dress.

My theory is that by tightly contricting the spankee's bottom, the girdle prevents an implement from compressing the surface as would otherwise be the case. I think this limits both the resulting pain and damage. I describe it like wearing armor.

Question: Burning Man and the Las Vegas spanking party were recently held. As a spanko, which one would someone rather attend if they could without any adverse ramifications?

Bonnie: I've never attended either event so I have no meaningful basis for comparison. In general, I would rather stay in a nice hotel than camp in the desert. I like the idea of a party by spankos and for spankos, but the artworks created at Burning Man are amazing. Does no "adverse ramifications" mean no tarantulas, rattlesnakes, or scorpions? I guess I don't know the answer.

Question: Who do your readers think you look like?

Bonnie: Readers are entitled to think whatever they choose. One reader thought I looked like a very curvy weathercaster. The author of this question thinks I might look like producer Chelsea Pfeiffer. No one would mistake me for either of those beautiful women. To be honest, my appearance is fairly unremarkable. I'm a pear-shaped grandmother, but I won't mind if you want to picture me as JLo.

Question: What do you like about spanking?

Bonnie: There are many answers to that question, but here's a good start. For me, it's just about everything!

Question: Can you address the DIFFERENCES and SIMILARITIES between and among M/F spanking and F/M spanking, possibly expanding the discussion to F/F and M/M spanking?

Bonnie: Thank you, Alan. That's a great question and one for which I too would like to hear the answer. I write about M/F spanking because that's what I know and understand. There are lots of other permutations about which I am not qualified to advance an opinion. If you are a reader who is a switch, I invite you to compare your experiences with different roles and partners.

Question: Does it bother you that people search for big bottom Bonnie and land on your blog?

Bonnie: No, it makes me sad to picture some lonely guy late at night typing those words into Google. I just hope when he gets here he sees something he likes.

That's it for now. I have planned a few more posts inspired by your other suggestions. Thanks again!

Ask Bonnie: So You're into Getting Spanked?

One interesting side benefit of posting more frequently is that my volume of email has also increased. Those messages run the gamut from silly to inquisitive to clever to sweet to creepy. Here's one we can file under, "What was your first hint?"

	hi bonnie my name is al and i like reading your blog my bottom smarts. so youre into getting spanked? that surprises me -i really like that your husband hits you hard on ur bare butt with a real spanking paddle. i would like to hear more about what happens and weather it hurts

Welcome, al, to MBS. It's fair to say I am into getting spanked. I have published more than 2,000 blog posts spanning almost 17 years on the topic of adult consensual spanking. I do indeed get hit hard on my bare butt with a very real spanking paddle. I love it. It's my kink and my passion. Just the sight of a wooden hairbrush resting on our bedside table can set my heart racing.

My spankings always hurt regardless of the weather. You can read more on this blog.

So, a definite YES is my answer.

I am surprised when people are surprised. Are they unaware that consensual adult spanking is a thing? Do they not believe that a sane adult woman would willingly and repeatedly subject herself to intense corporal punishment? Or do they not expect that I would admit that I am spanked because of some presumed shame or stigma? In any case, I hope that MBS visitors transition from surprised to intrigued fairly quickly. If not, fare thee well, fellow traveller.

Ask Bonnie: Where are the Spanko Women?

I was recently received this question from a man named Al.

It seems as though there are few if any women in my area with the vaguest interest in spanking or being spanked. I’m a switch so at this point, I’ll take (or give) whatever I can get. I’ve met women and gone on dates, and we seem to get along, but as soon as I bring up this subject, they lose interest in me. From reading your blog, I think there must be women somewhere who have this interest, but I haven’t met them. What would you suggest?

I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling to find a suitable partner. I'm not an expert on this topic, but you asked me so I will tell you what I think. I don’t believe there is a conspiracy to hide all of the spanko women, but there may be a few factors at work.

The first is safety. Many women are reluctant to share personal details (and what we're discussing is very personal) with people until they have established a sense of understanding and trust. We know there are creeps and abusers who would exploit that trust if given the opportunity. A potential partner will share their true desires only after you've gained her confidence.

The second issue is access. If you are searching in the general population, there may appear to be few spanko women. The answer is to improve your odds by going places, real or virtual, where spankos congregate. Examples include groups, munches, parties, chats, and discussion forums. If you are talking with women who have this interest, the there is a greater likelihood of finding someone who is compatible and interested.

Then there's the pandemic. People don't congregate as they once did. As a result, there are fewer opportunities for in-person meetings and dates. I know people are being creative and you may have to do so as well.

I encourage you to meet and talk with spanko women here on the Internet. You can assure yourself that, yes, we do exist. You can get to know people, and they can know you. Even if someone you meet is not your ideal partner, they could still be a valuable friend.

When you establish familiarity, that's the first step toward trust. You will have a chance to share who you are, what you know, and what you like. But first, listen to your new friends and be ready to learn from them. Before long, you may be able to make that connection that could grow into something more. Be friendly. Be honest. Be generous. Be respectful. Don't rush. Be someone with whom people will want to spend time.

And good luck!

Quick Question: What’s the Rub?

A reader recently asked me a question about rubbing.

I watch a lot of spanking videos. After the girl gets spanked hard she often pops up and rubs her sore butt. Is this just acting or does the rub serve some purpose?

I definitely rub. There are several reasons why the spankee might rub her freshly punished bottom:

1. It's a quick way to assess the damage. I am always aware of the soreness back there when I arise from his lap, but I'm not certain how severe this spanking really was. I feel to check the level of heat emanating from my skin. Are there any raised welts or rough skin places? Where does it hurt most? How much of a problem is it going to be when I have to sit later?


2. Vigorous rubbing brings blood containing oxygen to the punished region to begin the healing process. And I definitely want to heal before the next time he decides to pick up a paddle!


3. Sometimes in a weird way the deep ache generated by rubbing can actually feel good. It's as though it cancels out the raging skin level burn.


4. It’s a visual expression of the pain I feel. When I dance and rub my bottom, I am saying to my husband, “You punished me with a spanking. It worked. I deserved everything I got. I received your message and I’m still getting the message.” I will say those words if I must, but I prefer to show him.


5. Rubbing a sore bottom is a classic ritual. It was used in older films and television shows to indicate that an off-camera spanking had occurred. When I was a girl, suggestive scenes like that drove my imagination. I wanted to be the one who was rubbing.


6. Randy loves to watch me rub, just like he enjoys seeing me squirm atop a hard chair later. When he sees that, he can feel confident that the discipline he administered had the intended effect.


7. And yes, sometimes it can be acting. When we are filming, Randy will ask me to rub while I stand in the corner after he spanks me. He says it emphasizes in non-verbal form the point that I am still experiencing the aftermath of a formidable punishment.
   
   With that said, please don’t assume our hard-working spanking models don’t feel every single swat. I am certain that the hurt is very real. I have great respect and admiration for models who literally sacrifice their bodies for our entertainment. I just hope for their sake that they are spankos in real life and derive some benefit beyond their compensation.

The cartoon above came from our friend, Wolfie. I aspire to have that many stars behind me someday. Thank you as always!

Ask Bonnie

A correspondent named Bill asked me an unusual question:

My new girlfriend likes me to spank her. I know it's a real common kink, but here's the thing. She likes it really hard. Harder than I can spank it seems. She says she wants a spanking she can feel the next day. What suggestions do you have?

It would be easy to recommend an implement/position/technique to ensure a sore tomorrow for Bill's enthusiastic girlfriend. But I wonder whether that's the advice I should be dispensing. A harder spanking is not necessarily a better spanking. As much as we enjoy a good bottom warming, a lasting relationship is more valuable.

This is a new couple and each partner is learning about the other, and hopefully, building trust. In this scenario, a more gradual approach seems wise. If Bill is spanking with his hand, perhaps a light implement is worth a try. If a light implement was used last time, then a longer spanking or a heavier implement might be indicated. But that big, brutal, bruising wooden frat paddle is likely to be overkill. Let's keep it fun. Let's not risk injuring her. Show her instead that you care.

Spanking can be a wonderful bonding experience. It works best when partners feel they are working together. And it can be so much more meaningful than just striking someone on the butt.

Get this right and Bill may get to spank his girlfriend many more times.

One More Question

There was one more question that arrived via email. I didn't see it before I posted my March responses. But it's a good enough question to merit its own post.

Robert: I am curious to hear more about your spanking bench. What does it feel like being strapped down for a spanking? How is the experience different from other spankings?

Bonnie: Our spanking bench is similar to the one in the photo above. Ours is brown rather than pink, the restraints are different, and there is a support for my head, but the design is basically the same.

We don't use the bench for every spanking session. It's more of a special occasion sort of setting. When Randy directs me down to the basement, I know I'm in for a spanking that matters.

As I place each of my limbs into the appropriate padded cuff, I silently commit. I am all in for everything that comes next. If he drags out a big scary paddle, then paddled I shall be. Or a cane or a crop or a bathbrush or whatever. I signed on the dotted line next to the word Consent.

Receiving a hard spanking while strapped to the bench is a different experience than being spanked OTK or bent over. The bench itself is quite comfortable, save for the inevitable posterior distress. It's strangely reassuring to be strapped down to the bench. As each restraint is secured, I eagerly cede another measure of my control to Randy. By the time we begin, I am ready for him to punish me in whatever way he chooses.

It's an exquisite paradox:      

• While my body is restrained, my spirit is free
     
• I recognize the pain and I embrace it
     
• Surrendering my control makes me feel empowered
     
• Corporal punishment brings unexpected stability
     
• My love for Randy blossoms, even as he strikes my exposed bottom
     
• My eyes may be squeezed shut, but my mind is wide open
     
• What might humiliate someone else reassures me
     
• I enjoy showing my vulnerability to my lover
     
• Soreness afterward reminds me how lucky I am

The only part of being punished over the spanking bench that I don't absolutely love is that it's always cold in our basement. But I warm up quickly.

Thank you, Robert, for a fine question!

March Answers

Since you asked...

Roz: Have you attended kink events or munches?

Bonnie: Not really. It's not our thing. We attended a small munch of sorts many years ago, but the conversation didn't click for us.

Roz: Do you have a favourite movie?

Bonnie: The Godfather parts I and II

Roz: What is your dream vacation destination or place to visit?

Bonnie: Maui

RP: How many people do you know outside the blog world who share your interest?

Bonnie: None that I know.

RP: Do you suspect anyone, but don't know for sure?

Bonnie: Not really. I used to wonder about my sister-in-law, but I think she's vanilla.

RP: In general, how popular do you think consensual spanking is?

Bonnie: I don't know. The percentage likely depends upon how we pose the question. How many couples enjoy an occasional swat on the butt during sex? I will guess that's a pretty substantial number, maybe even approaching half. The percentage of couples who enjoy regular spanking sessions is undoubtedly much lower.

Ronnie: Have you ever attended any spanko parties? I can't remember reading about any.

Bonnie: No, it's not our thing. Specifically, Randy isn't interested in playing with other people. A scary stalker experience convinced us that we need to be careful.

Prefectdt: Do you have a cellar, attic or other unusual place where you occasionally like to play spanking games, just so that things don't get boring?

Bonnie: We own a spanking bench and the only place where we have room for it is in our basement. It's hardly an ideal location for such activities, but the bench serves its purpose.

Anon #1: Why did you stop posting photos of yourself in jeans (assuming it's you)?

Bonnie: Those pictures are old and I don't look like that any longer.

Jack: Do you find it 'not normal' for the wife to be the 'Mommy' when the husband acts like a naughty little boy. I ask because our relationship is FLR, and my wife has me call her 'Mommy' when I've been bad and need a spanking. I accept this, don't care who knows, it was in fact my mother-in-law who said I needed to be spanked, the 'Mommy' my wife just added.

Bonnie: If normal means average, who would aspire to that? If your relationship with your wife satisfies both of you, then what I think is of little consequence. May all your spankings be meaningful.

Anon #2: Would it be possible to see a nice, clear shot of your feet? I'm sure they are lovely and it would be great to see them in all their glory. Does your husband show a special appreciation for your beautiful appendages?

Bonnie: My feet? Wearing dress shoes for too many decades have left my poor feet and toes in a less than original condition. I'm going to pass on this one. Sorry.

This was fun. Thanks, everyone!

March is Q&A Month

I wanted to be sure to ask you to ask me before the month is over. March is the traditional time when readers get the opportunity to pose questions to their friendly bloggers and collect answers.

So what can I tell you? What have you always wondered about me or my blog or my life? What have I forgotten to share? What have I already told you that's worthy of elaboration? Spanking stuff? Life stuff? You pick!

Incredibly Personal Q&A: Reverse Edition

Many readers will remember my correspondent, Tom, who asks incredibly personal questions. His probing questions continue to trickle in, but after answering 100 intrusive questions, I thought it was time to turn the tables.

Tom agreed to play along. I selected some of his past questions, grouped them by topic, and asked him why he was interested in this information.

Sex

          Sex before marriage (Yes)
          Sex during menstruation? (Yes, but)
          Times per week for sex? (2ish)
          Favorite vibrator? (Bullet)
          Plug? (Yes)
          Attracted to women? (Not like that)

Tom: I’ve not met you but you seem like a very sexy woman. Better yet, you are will to share intimate parts of your life. I am a student of woman and I am eager to learn from you.

Bonnie: So it’s basically curiosity? That’s not the answer I expected.

Spanking

          Favorite implement? (leather paddle)
          Film or photograph spanking or sex? (Yes)
          Post spanking pictures? (No)
          Become a spanking model? (No)
          Corner time embarrassing? (Sometimes)
          Diaper position? (Yes, but)

Tom: I absolutely love when you talk about all the spankings you get. I love all of the little details that could be known only by someone who’s been there. Spankings are my favorite interest and I’ve followed your blog for most of my adult life.

Bonnie: OK, I understand having a spanking obsession. I’m not complaining, but I wonder why the concentrated interest in this little granny?

Tom: As someone who has expeienced thousands of spankings over forty years, you know more about the subject than anyone else I will ever meet.

Other Kink

          Being tied up? (Yes)
          Do men stare? (Sometimes)
          Tats or piercings? (Just lobes)
          Do you wax or shave your pubic region? (Crop)

Tom: Like you, I think bondage and spankings go together. The other questions were just me wanting to better understand what your life is like.

Bonnie: My life is unusual to be sure, but I don’t feel like it’s fascinating. Could it be because I’m on the inside looking out? Or are you easily entertained?

Tom: When you write, I am easily entertained.

Clothing

          Panty size? (7-8)
          Yoga pants or leggings? (Both)
          Nylon or cotton panties? (Cotton)
          Garter belt and stockings? (Yes)
          Heels? (Yes)
          Wear a dress? (Yes)
          Wear pink? (Yes)
          Workout wear? (Varies)
          Thong everyday? (Yes)
          Underwire bra? (Yes)
          Like wedgies? (No)

Tom: I fully admit I have a major fetish about womens clothing. I really love that your husband dresses you up and then makes you take a spanking. Just the thought is a huge turn on.

Bonnie: That’s pretty much what I guessed. These items that are highly stimulating for you are just clothing for the rest of us. You are welcome to imagine that my husband dresses me and forces me to take a spanking. The reality is that I am a fully consenting participant in everything we do.

Weird Question

          Did you breastfeed your child? (Yes)

Tom: I just wanted to know.

Bonnie: I smile about a lot of these questions, but this one bothers me. I’m willing to answer it to demonstrate solidarity with other mothers. But I worry about sexualizing what should be a loving, innocent bonding experience. Let’s leave those moms and babies alone.

Tom: Sorry, I didn't mean it like that.

There it is. I’m not sure what I expected to learn from Tom’s answers. At the end of the day, I think we can conclude that Tom is just a really inquisitive fan.

Bonnie's Letters

Hey everyone! Another holiday season is upon us.

Last post, I demonstrated my amateur photoediting skills. Today, I will show that I am equally unqualified to practice psychology.

My correspondence is generally pretty tame when compared with our friend Erica. But I get a few screwballs too. Here are two that are sufficiently strange to merit their own post.

"I long to stare deeply into your eyes and just read the exciting life you have lived."

First, why must you stare at me, you weird person? It's a longing you say?

If I write my life story, it won't fit on my corneas. And if you think you're going to see into my soul, that's not where I keep it.

Next up, you talk about my life in the past tense. Not cool.

Finally, you assume my life is exciting. That's debatable. I'm a woman, wife, mother, grandmother, writer, and teacher. My husband and I have a lot of fun together and I write about some of it here, but we are otherwise unremarkable.

As you see, this is a really odd message. I wonder about the frame of mind of the man who sent it. He doesn't want to read what I've written about my life, or maybe he has and wants more. Maybe he thinks I have some deep secret that only he can discern through ophthalmic examination. My eye doctor never mentioned anything unusual, but who knows?

Then we have this less cerebral question from a different reader:

Ever been spanked real hard in a pink tootoo?

A pink tutu? Uh, not that I recall. But I take it you might like to see that. And not just any old everyday spanking, but a real hard one.

So what's this all about? Does he think that I will feel humiliated by having to wear a tutu? Nah, I like ballerinas. Does he like imagining the visual of me being spanked with my little pink frilly skirt lifted?

Or maybe he's just a wanker who gets his jollies from sending goofy messages to women?

March Answers

Thank you to everyone who submitted questions. I promised to answer them, so let's do it!

Fondles - Name three implements that are employed regularly (besides the hand) on your behind and rank them in order of preference.

Bonnie - The list changes over time, but I can give you a current snapshot. The most frequently used implement, by far, is a small roundish, semi-rigid leather paddle. It provides a lovely sting without inflicting any serious damage. Number two is probably our dogleg wooden hairbrush. We've had this brush for at least twenty years (in fact we own two). This is a serious implement. It hurts! Third would probably be our punishment cane. It isn't used that often, but it's definitely a memory maker.

Roz - What (non kinky/sexy) activities do you and Randy enjoy doing together?

Bonnie - Before the pandemic, we enjoyed travel, dining adventures, live theater, and concerts. We still enjoy hiking, television, and sports. And sometimes, we just talk.

Anon #1 - Do you have a spanking crush? Is there someone you would like to have spank you if there were no complications? It is just a fantasy and it could be anyone from anytime? Who would it be, how would you like to get spanked and what would the reason be?

Bonnie - Wow, I don't usually think in those terms. Spanking equals sex for Randy and me and we have a committed, monogamous marriage. With that said, there are many famous and skilled spankers whose work I admire - Keith Jones, Danny Crichton, Michael Masterson, Steve Fuller, David Pierson, and Paul Kennedy come to mind immediately, but there are undoubtedly more. Apologies to all who I didn't remember - No offense intended. The preferred method would be each spanker’s specialty. As for a reason, the best one is because we both want to play.

Anon #2 - How do you feel about random pats on your bottom? Does Randy ever just reach out and give you a good smack on your fanny? Does he ever do it in public? How does it make you feel?

Bonnie - At this point, I'm pretty much used to it. Randy touches my bottom and hips often and delights in tactile exploration of my lower curves. One might think that by now he would have a good concept of what's back there, but he still has to check it out. So yes, we have gropes, pats, caresses, and swats. He is usually more restrained in public, but not always. The only time I really object is when we are with friends. Some aspects of our relationship are better kept for us.

PK - I know you write great spanking stories and I know you're still working, but could retirement see you publishing some spanking novels?

Bonnie - First off, thank you. We expect to work for a few more years, but retirement will arrive eventually. When it does, I may write more, but those efforts are likely to be short form works rather than books. As a former newspaper beat reporter, my thoughts tend to be structured in small, self-contained units. This is the reason why blogging has been an ideal medium for me. I guess I could assemble an anthology, but I hadn’t considered that possibility before this moment. You get a gold star for a new question! *

Prefectdt - Once the present situation is over, where in Canada do you want to go most and why?

Bonnie - What a tantalizing proposition. We used to travel to Canada a lot before the borders were closed twenty years ago (through no fault of the Canadians). Now, it’s more difficult. If we could go, I would think about places like Stanley Park in Vancouver and Bouchart Gardens near Victoria. You too earn the gold star * for an original question.

Tad - What is your favorite flavour of ice cream?

Bonnie - That is another new question and another gold star * for you, Tad. I guess you already figured that it’s not vanilla and that is correct. I love chocolate in all varieties.

Liza - What movie spanking scene is your favorite?

Bonnie - There are valid many choices, but honestly, I have yet to see the perfect mainstream movie spanking. For whatever reason, one or both of the participants are inevitably portrayed as being mentally ill, or dangerously deviant, or somehow broken. Or they play it for laughs. Ha ha, look at the freaks.

I hope I live long enough to see a film or show that presents a loving, sensual spanking between two normal happy people who genuinely enjoy spending time together as a couple. Hollywood has shown all sorts of crazy stuff on the big screen. Is that really too much to ask?

Joe - Do you ever find a spanking disappointing where you felt it was just too mild and you wanted more? If so did you speak up and what happened?

Bonnie - Randy is usually quite thorough, but yes, it has happened. I am well aware that one snarky comment is all it takes to turn up the intensity. A favorite is some variation of Erica Scott’s classic line, “You can start any time you like...”

Enzo - Are there any particular words of wisdom that you have learned about spanking that you would like to share with readers/fellow spankers?

Bonnie - Find yourself. Know yourself. Accept yourself. Be yourself. Love yourself. Live the life you want. Start now. Walk into the daylight. Take a chance. Don’t miss out on another day’s joy. Don’t live a life of regret.

Rich Person - Why limit it to Canada? Maybe you could come to the U.S. and enjoy some of our wonderful locations. We live in the Northwest, and there are many spectacular places to visit: mountains, rivers, beaches. We took a boat trip up one of the rivers in Oregon that was lovely, and we went on the dune buggy tour of one of the beaches on the Oregon coast. Then, there are the redwood forests in California, and its own wonderful beaches. There are some extraordinary places back east, as well. Oh, Canada, wonderful, but maybe think about broadening your horizons!

Bonnie - Why indeed? We too live in the PNW. We are familiar with everything you mentioned and we love it all! Crater Lake is my favorite. And Cannon Beach! And Columbia Gorge. And the high desert. And Mt. Rainier. And the Eugene Saturday Market. And the Olympic rain forest. And Keep Portland Weird. And so much more. Here’s your gold star. *

Ronnie - Have you and Randy talked about retirement. How would you both like to spend your retirement?

Bonnie - We have talked about retirement a lot, especially during the past year, but we both still really enjoy our work. As you might infer from my last answer, we have no desire to move anywhere else. When the time comes, I prefer to slow down rather than stop entirely. Perhaps there’s a part time gig in my future. Randy is all-go all the time. He might never stop by choice. I don’t know what he would do with himself all day long. Nothing lasts forever, and we will inevitably leave the workforce at some point, but we’re definitely not ready yet.

Lori - Do you ever reach a point where you’ve had enough spanking?

Bonnie - Yes, absolutely. It’s just like we can decide we’ve had enough dinner or enough sex or enough television. There are always practical limits. Sometimes enough is enough and more is too much. There’s no benefit in continuing beyond that point.

Thank you for your contributions. This was fun!

March Questions

Ronnie and PK remind us that March is Question Month here in the land of spanko blogs. So, I'm in if you are.

If you have a question that you would like me to answer, I invite you to enter it below as a comment. Or, if you prefer, you can email your question to me. Once I receive your questions, I will post them here, along with my responses.

As regular readers will attest, I'm up for just about any question. To make it fun, I will award a gold star (*) to any reader who poses a question that I have never answered here before. Let's see what you have!

Incredibly Personal Q&A Part V

For almost nine years, I have maintained an email dialog with an extraordinarily inquisitive widower who we shall call Tom. He is patient and polite despite the fact that it sometimes takes weeks for me to get around to answering his questions. For whatever reason, he is strangely obsessed with me and the minutia of my life. He reads every word I write and sometimes knows what I think better than I do. This would come off as creepy but for the fact that he is such a sweet old fellow.

I try to transform my correspondence into blog content when I can and these ultra personal questions and responses turned into four of our most popular MBS posts. You can read them here, here, here, and here.

Tom has returned and he is again full of questions. Naturally, I have responses. I hope these answers will provide useful new ideas, confirmation, or topics for conversation. In some cases, I edited questions and responses for brevity.

So with further ado, let's get personal!

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Q81. How are you and Randy getting along during the pandemic?

A81. Like most people, it’s been a challenge. Neither of us has gotten sick and we strive to keep it that way. This means missing many of the humans and activities we love. But we feel very grateful to be able to work from home and stay safe. Beyond that, there’s a lot of Netflix, Amazon, and Door Dash.

Q82. How do you like wearing a thong everyday?

A82. It’s fine. I’ve become used to it. After a while, it becomes second nature and you don’t think about it much.

Q83. What about getting spanked in a thong?

A83. Getting spanked while wearing a thong feels exactly the same as being spanked on the bare because it is the same.

Q84. Does that mean you are now spanked every day?

A84. Yes, but most of the weekday spankings are the fun sort. Randy moved our handy leather paddle downstairs so that it is now easily available during the workday. I’ve swapped my jeans for long skirts so that I too am easily available. A quick warm up, consisting of 20-30 rapid fire swats, with lunch, or maybe a little more, is a wonderful way to start my busy afternoon.

Q85. Do you and Randy have a favorite implement at the moment?

A85. For me, it’s probably that aforementioned leather paddle. It’s roundish shaped, very stingy, and it raises lots of heat and color, but does no lasting damage. Randy would probably choose more of a pure punishment implement like a wooden hairbrush or paddle.

Q86. How much does your daughter know about your spanko proclivities? Do you suppose that she worries about your safety?

A86. I’m not certain. That’s not a question I want to ask. The answer is probably more than she cares to know. As for my safety with her father, I seriously doubt that thought ever entered her mind.

Q87. How is your granddaughter?

A87. She is growing into a beautiful, clever, and resourceful young woman. Her quinceañera is coming up and it breaks my heart that we cannot celebrate with them. But we zoom a lot and that makes it a bit easier. I really feel for her. Cyber school and cyber dates are just not the same.

Q88. In this time when so many people are discouraged and depressed, what is your secret for staying positive?

A88. I think it’s important to recognize all of the good things in one’s life. In my case, I’m stuck indoors, but it’s with my lifelong companion. My family is safe and well, at least for now, and we are looking toward a better future.

Q89. Do you ever put ice on your sore bottom?

A89. I’m sure I have, but it’s not a common occurrence.

Q90. Do you wear an underwire bra?

A90. Yes, I can use all the help I can get in that department.

Q91. Does your mind ever wander when you’re lying over your husband’s lap and receiving a spanking?

A91. I would tell Randy, “No, of course not, never.” If he thinks that I’m not paying full attention, he has an effective way to return my focus to the matter at hand.

Just between us, yes, my mind does wander sometimes. I settle in and the pain on my bottom becomes somehow secondary. It’s as though the effects of the spanking distract me from the actual spanking itself. I guess I become intoxicated by the endorphins or whatever happy spanko hormones are running free in my body. Suddenly, I am unable to provide sensible answers to his toppy interrogatories. So, what is his remedy? Why, more spanking, of course.

Q92. Do you wear leggings?

A92. Yes, sometimes, but I do so with the knowledge that Randy finds me extra special spankable when I do. At that point, I might as well bring him the paddle and save the trip.

Q93. How do you like your new lexan paddle?

A93. OMG. It’s every bit as much a genuine punishment implement as our big cane or the wooden bathbrush. It really hurts. That’s not to say that there won’t be times when it’s the ideal tool. But really – Ouch! (holding bottom cheeks with both hands)

Q94. Do you think it’s embarrassing to be directed to stand in the corner with your freshly reddened bottom on full display?

A94. This is another one of those yes and no answers. You say “on full display,” but the only person who is there to witness the condition of my bottom is the guy who turned it that color. He always takes digital photos to memorialize such occasions, but those aren’t for general distribution.

And yet, in my kinky head, I am the punished bad girl whose pennace includes showing off my burning seat during corner time. It definitely heightens that head space.

Q95. You talk fondly about punishment rituals. Can you elaborate?

A95. Sure. I guess I should start by differentiating rituals and role play scenarios. A punishment ritual is a series of actions, often in scripted sequence, that define an interaction. For example, I might be instructed to go to the bedroom and assume the position. I know this means I need to bare my bottom, kneel on the bed with my head down and my bottom high and exposed, and position the hairbrush in the small of my back.

A role play scenario, in contrast, is a more loosely defined set of simulated relationships. For example, I might assume the role of eighteen year old cheerleader who has broken team curfew at cheer camp for the third consecutive night and must be paddled by the coach. Randy, not surprisingly, plays the stern coach who metes out punishment one stinging swat at a time along with the appropriate lecture. I enjoy both rituals and role play, as long as there are spankings involved.

Q96. What advice would you give a spanko newbie?

A96. I wrote an entire series on this topic entitled Spanking 101.

Q97. Have you ever been spanked with a metal implement?

A97. It wasn’t an implement, but I recall once being spanked with a metal curtain rod sort of item. It don’t think it was very effective.

Q98. Have you ever considered writing a book?

A98. Actually, yes, I have. The trouble is that I barely have time to keep up with this blog. When could I write a book?

Q99. Have you ever been spanked in the diaper position? If so, what do you think about it?

A99. Yes, I have experienced this peculiar method of torture. For those who are unfamiliar, the spankee lies on her back, often on a couch. The spanker then grabs both of her ankles in one hand and lifts them beyond ninety degrees. This exposes the spankee in an embarrassing fashion and stretches the buttocks to make spankings hurt more. So let’s say it’s not a favorite.

Q100. What would your life be like if you didn’t get spankings?

A100. A lot less interesting and fun!

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That’s all there is for this time. Thank you, Tom, for the inspiration. I hope that scratched the itch. My apologies to readers who thought this post was way TMI. My next one will be less specific.

Jillian's Prompts: Do All Spankos Think the Same?

The amazing Jillian Keenan has a YouTube channel where she regularly posts videos about our favorite topic. I love Jillian. She is incredibly smart, a great writer, delightfully out, and a spanko through and through. Were she not half my age, I might aspire to grow up to be like Jillian.

Besides all that, I find Jillian's perspectives to be fascinating because her life is so different from mine. We are both spankos and journalists, but otherwise, we have little in common. She has lived and worked on at least four continents and experienced many adventures. She hosts and attends spanking parties and has many friends in the scene.

Recently, Jillian filmed a two-part video entitled "Do All Spankos Think the Same?" While attending a spanking party, she gathered five spanko friends, including Jillian's partner, and our friend Princess Kelley, and her fiance, Stephen. She presented the group with a series of prompts to explore different opinions within even this small subset of the spanko community. Spoiler Alert: There were a lot of differences.

I thought it might be fun to take a shot at responding to Jillian's prompts. Some of my responses are unlike those presented by anyone in her group.

Prompt #1: I am afraid other people will find out about my fetish

Agree - I've often wondered in recent years what it might be like to be out. The freedom to be oneself after so many years has to be exhilarating. But at this point, the price is just too high.

Prompt #2: My fetish is my sexual orientation

It's Complicated - Randy and I define spanking as sex. A spanking is just another sort of sex act for us, and a total favorite. With that said, I am a straight cis-female. I've always been attracted to men.

Prompt #3: Sex is important to me

Agree - Absolutely. When I get a spanking, I prefer to include lovemaking as part of the festivities, and vice versa.

Prompt #4: Fifty Shades of Grey was good for our community

Disagree - Someday, there might be a popular film that actually portrays people of kink as being normal, happy, productive humans who are fortunate enough to live interesting lives. Most of us are not broken or suffering from mental illnesses. This portrayal of kinky people as damaged is analogous to old harmful stereotypes of Black people, Indigenous people, and members of the LGBT+ community.

I reject the argument that any exposure is good. I would like to see us promote real understanding that goes beyond labels and unfair characterizations.

Prompt #5: Consensual adult spankings work for behavior modification

Disagree - People tell me that domestic discipline works for them, and I believe them. But it wouldn't work for me. As I said, spankings are sex for us. As much as we enjoy punishment scenarios, it's never punishment for any real crime.

Prompt #6: Converted vanillas exist

Agree - I know of several converted vanillas, but all are tops. Converting a true vanilla to be a bottom seems like a very unlikely scenario. Either you like having your bottom smacked or you do not. That is a chasm too broad to bridge. On the other hand, when one's sexy partner suggests that it would be a turn-on if you were to spank them, that's a whole different matter.

Prompt #7: I trust spankos more easily than I trust most other people

Disagree - I've encountered many spankos over the years. Some were extremely trustworthy while others were definitely not.

Prompt #8: The gender of my play partner is important to me

Agree - I play exclusively with my husband.

Prompt #9: I was spanked as a child

Agree - Yes, though not to excess. Looking back, this was a source of confusion for me. My young mind had trouble processing spankings, much as if I had been prematurely introduced to sexuality.

Our daughter was never spanked for precisely this reason, well, that, and the fact that it doesn't work. Spanking means sex for us, and kids must be permitted to live their childhood without the burden of adult concerns.

Prompt #10: I consider myself monogamous

Agree - I play exclusively with my husband. You won't find many people more monogamous than us.

Prompt #11: I'm glad I'm a fetishist

Agree - As I say here on the blog, spankings make my good life better.


I think my answers further support Jillian's assertion that spankos hold widely divergent opinions, even about spanking-related topics.

I encourage you to check out Jillian's other videos. There's a lot of practical wisdom there.

Incredibly Personal Q&A Part V

Some of you may remember one of my correspondents named Tom who loves to ask me lots of very personal questions. In the past, I turned these queries and my responses into four popular posts. You can read them here, here, here, and here.

So here comes good old inquisitive Tom once again. My purpose in sharing this information is to provide our fellow spankos with a benchmark. The way Randy and I do things is certainly not the only way or necessarily the best way, but it's worked for us. I hope these answers will provide useful new ideas, confirmation, or topics for conversation. In many cases, I edited questions and answers for brevity.

So with further ado, let's get personal!

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Q81. Do you like knowing that you are scheduled to be spanked every week.

A81. Yes, I do. I think about it a lot in advance and the anticipation is fun. There is also something reassuring about knowing that, barring some catastrophe, we will have our intimate time.

Q82. What color bra are you wearing. How many rows of hooks are there in the back?

A82. It's peach colored and two.

Q83. Do you ever put on your bra backwards, hook it, twist it around and then put your arms through the straps?

A83. Yes.

Q84. Do you ever do the trick where you remove your bra without taking off your top first?

A84. I guess we're talking about bras this time instead of panties. Yes.

Q85. What do you think about transgender people?

A85. I think about them as people first and transgender second. Everyone should have the right to define themselves.

Q86. Do you consider yourself a "girly girl?"

A86. I'm not sure I understand what that means in today's world. I'm female and I wear dresses, so maybe I qualify.

Q87. You've described yourself as a small woman with a big bottom. How do you think your life would be different if you had a small bottom instead?

A87. My first thought was that it shouldn't make any difference. However, Randy freely admits that the first time he saw me, it was from behind and he knew then he had to meet me. So who knows? Even now, I catch guys in public places checking me out. I doubt they are admiring my hairstyle. Sometimes I feel self-conscious, but mostly I ignore them.

Q88. Do you think that women with cellulite on their bottoms experience greater pain when spanked because of the additional surface area?

A88. I have no idea.

Q89. What is your spanking bench made of?

A89. The bench is wood held together by metal bolts. The top has a padded vinyl cover. The four restraint cuffs are a synthetic material with velcro closures.

Q90. If asked, would you present at a spanking conference?

A90. Probably not. We can't be that out.

Q91. Do you ever purposely wear clothes that show off your bottom?

A91. We have a running joke where I ask, "Do these jeans make my butt look big?" and his response is always a delighted yes. If I wore a burlap sack, I'd still have a conspicuous protrusion in back. Knowing this, I wear what feels comfortable and looks good to me.

Q92. What does it feel like to get a spanking wearing just a thong?

A72. The same as a spanking with no panties.

Q93. Do you think you would enjoy life as a spanking model?

A93. I can't say because I've never done it. This would be a better question for someone who has.

Q94. Do you hate cornertime?

A94. Yes and no. The last thing I want to do immediately after a spanking is stand with my nose in a corner while Randy snaps embarrassing pictures of my throbbing bottom. However, there's a submissive element to it that turns me on and gets me primed for what happens next.

Q95. Will you do anything Randy tells you?

A95. No. I always have a choice.

Q96. You've talked about having a punishment fetish. Can you talk about that?

A96. I love love love traditional corporal punishment scenarios and discipline rituals. For whatever reason, this presses my buttons like nothing else. When Randy uses that authority figure voice and commands me to lift my skirt and get over his lap, my heart does flip flops. When I am fully in that headspace, I am ready to accept almost anything.

I have no interest in real discipline because I never want to do things that are wrong or hurt someone's feelings or disappoint anyone. But that feeling that comes from a punishment is one I relish.

Q97. Do you ever get spankings in the morning?

A97. Sure, it happens. Typically, it's on the relatively rare weekend day when we both have a chance to sleep in. It starts with touching and kissing and massaging and rubbing. Eventually, I end up over his lap as the grateful recipient of a sleepy, amorous hand spanking. Lovemaking ensues thereafter.

Q98. How many spanking implements do you own now?

A98. That depends upon what you consider an implement. There are probably a couple dozen designated spanking implements like paddles, canes, crops, straps, and so forth. Add to that a lesser number of pervertibles such as hairbrushes, wooden spoons, cutting boards, and belts. There are enough of both types that Randy doesn't have to search when he decides to beat my bottom.

Q99. Can you have an orgasm without getting a spanking?

A99. Yes, but it's not as fun.

Q100. You say that spankings make you happy. Do more spankings make you happier?

A100. I think so, at least within any practical bounds. We have other real life commitments that limit our time together. Our energy is finite. But we make the best of our opportunities.

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That's all, at least for now. I hope you enjoyed learning more about me than you ever thought you wanted to know.

Incredibly Personal Q&A Part IV

Way back in 2012, I has a long running e-mail conversation with a reader I refer to as Tom. This fellow had a lot of questions and many of them were deeply personal in nature. He was so curious, so patient, and just so sweet, that I chose to answer most of his questions as honestly as I could without outing myself. This dialog turned into three of our most popular posts ever. You can read them here, here, and here.

As you've probably guessed, Tom is back and he has more questions. Once again, I have responses. My purpose in sharing this information is to provide our fellow spankos with a benchmark. The way Randy and I do things is certainly not the only way or necessarily the best way, but it's worked for us. I hope these answers will provide useful new ideas, confirmation, or topics for conversation. In many cases, I edited questions and answers for brevity.

So with further ado, let's get personal!

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Q61. We haven't seen much of you lately. Where have you been?

A61. I've been engaged in a great many activities. I'm still working full time. I have also picked up some volunteer assignments. Most notably, I have been deeply involved with a community theater company. I have also worked with young people learning about acting and theater tech.

Q62. What's your favorite color?

A62. Red.

Q63. Does it seem incongruous that your favorite color is also your safeword?

A63. I guess I never considered that. I can live with a little ambiguity.

Q64. What is your favorite style of panty?

A64. That depends. Randy loves to dress me in attractive lingerie, so I have lots from which to choose. If I am headed to work, most days I will probably wear some practical full coverage cotton briefs. I am a granny, so I'm entitled to wear them if I want. They are soft and comfortable and they (mostly) don't ride up. For the gym or working around the house, my choice is more likely a pair of high cut, high waisted briefs. These are also cotton or a cotton blend, typically in pastel colors. They provide greater ease of movement. Finally, if spanking play is on the docket, I slide into a thong. I own a remarkable number of thongs in every imaginable fabric, color, and pattern. Randy once said, as he was presenting me with more new thongs, that he never wanted to miss a spanking opportunity because all of my thongs were in the laundry. Let's just say that is not an issue.

Q65. What do you think about when you are over your husband's lap and he is spanking you with a paddle?

A65. When your bottom is being assaulted, it focuses your mind upon the very immediate here and now. The imagination can't wander far at those painful moments. Disciplinarians sometimes talk about gaining a spankee's full attention and, believe me, a briskly applied paddle can do that.

Q66. I hear some women say that they have an issue with wearing pink because it reinforces negative gender stereotypes. Do you wear pink?

A66. Yes, I do. I want to be soft and feminine sometimes. It's not all that I am, but I would never want to lose that caring, nurturing aspect of myself. I hope we can someday evolve as a society to a place where soft need not be considered the opposite of strong. I think I can be as tough as most men, but only when I have to be.

Q67. That brings us to the question of the year, #metoo?

A67. Yes, unfortunately, #metoo. I started a post on this topic around the beginning of 2018, but abandoned it when I decided it was too depressing and too off-topic for this spanking blog. I have been harassed in various ways since I was a young teen. I've been hit on by elderly men and kids who were our daughter's age. I've been groped. I've been stalked. I've been followed. I've been leered at. I've listened to critiques of my body. I've been minimized, passed over, paid less, put down, ignored, and talked over at work. There are many dimensions of creepiness and I've experienced quite a few personally. And this was vanilla Bonnie, just going through my life, not blogger Bonnie who talks about spankings and sex. So, yeah, #metoo.

Q68. So what's the answer?

A68. We need to elect and support leaders who will move us forward. Let's remember that women are a majority. If we unite and work together, we can build a better world. We must muster the courage to challenge those in powerful places to live up to the responsibility with which they've been entrusted and set a positive example for the rest of society. If they are unwilling or unable to change, then change must come without them.
Stand up. Speak up. But never give up.

Q69. So how's your love life?

A69. (laughing) OK, that might be the worst segue ever, but let's carry on. Randy and I are officially senior citizens now. As we age, there are certain changes we experience and sex is no exception. I think our appetite is still strong, but fatigue and various aches (no, no, not those aches!) sometimes derail our plans. For me, it means that a personal lubricant is a necessity. For Randy, it means there won't be a second helping. We've settled into three or four go-to positions that work most of the time. We live with these realities and happily enjoy sex at least once a week. A brisk spanking is still our foreplay of choice and it remains very effective for us.

Q70. What is your earliest spanko memory?

A70. It was very early, perhaps even before I went to school. I remember having a Little Golden storybook where one of the characters, an animal I think, was spanked OTK for some minor offense. I was fascinated and carefully studied every detail of that illustrated page in hopes of learning more. For reasons I couldn't fully grasp at the time, I wanted to be that spankee. I don't know whether this desire was inborn, but if not, it started very young.

Q71. You've said that you work as a technical writer. How have those skills helped you as a blogger?

A71. Blogging about spanking is a lot more fun, but otherwise, there are a number of similarities. In both cases, I seek to convey nuanced and sometimes complex thoughts in a simple, concise manner. There is a definite structure and pace required, though I have more freedom to deviate here. I think I am fairly organized and that was particularly essential when I was posting everyday. There's a lot of crossover.

Q72. What do you wear to work out?

A72. I'm sorry to keep saying, "It depends," but it does. If it's likely to be warm where I work out, it could be shorts and a t-shirt. If it's cold, the outer layer is probably sweat pants and a warmer top. For in between times and underneath, I have some lycra gear. I am not the hot workout chick if that's what you're asking.

Q73. Tell us about your granddaughter.

A73. Oh my. You've found my soft spot. She is a delight and the light of our lives. I wish we could see her more often. She is smart and beautiful and clever and strong. We are very proud of her as we cheer each new accomplishment. She's shaped like me (and her mother), but has Randy's sense of humor.

Q74. How do you feel about Randy's growing collection of photos and videos of you?

A74. On one hand, creating and curating this private content gives him pleasure and I support that. On the other hand, I would be mortified if relatives, friends, co-workers, neighbors, or casual acquaintances ever saw video of everything that happens to me when I am strapped to the spanking bench. He would never release them without my permission and that won't happen anytime soon.

Q75. Have you acquired a new favorite implement since we last talked?

A75. Yes, after years of discussion, we finally purchased a real punishment cane. I don't know if it qualifies as a favorite, but the big cane generates a different sort of sensation than any of our other spanking toys. It's a worthy addition to our collection.

Q76. Since you mentioned the cane, if you were a naughty schoolgirl, would you prefer to receive six strokes with the cane or four whacks with a big wooden school paddle?

A76. Oh, if I were a naughty schoolgirl... I think your question presumes this schoolgirl seeks to get away with the less severe punishment (and isn't totally into the experience like me). I would choose the cane because as painful as it is, it won't create the deep ache that lasts like swats from the big paddle do.

Q77. What is your favorite time of day for a spanking?

A77. We've maintained a Friday evening routine for many years. I think it started because that was the time when our daughter was most reliably out of the house. She's long gone now, but the tradition remains. The only downside is that we are usually tired after a long work week. But there's nothing like a good healthy bottom warming to make one feel rejuvenated. We've experimented with spankings on weekend mornings. Unfortunately, that practice tends to interfere with completion of weekend tasks. A weeknight spanking is a fun change of pace sometimes. So I guess my answer is pretty much whenever he has the paddle in his hand.

Q78. Would you ever wear a shirt with a subtle or not so subtle spanking message?

A78. Around the house, yes, absolutely. I think it would be fun. I particularly liked the Omega Tau Kappa sorority shirts that Princess Kelley sold a couple of years ago. Out in public, probably not.

Q79. Do you wax or shave your pubic region?

A79. Neither. I keep it cropped it short.

Q80. You say that you are now a semi-retired blogger. What does that mean?

A80. It means that I blog when I have the time and inclination. Blogging no longer runs my life so I can truly enjoy everything that I'm doing.

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That's it. Tom actually had additional questions, but I chose twenty for this post. I hope you enjoyed learning more about me than you ever thought you wanted to know.