Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Incredibly Personal Q&A - Part I

This post and those that follow consist of a series of questions posed by a reader we shall call Tom with answers by me. They have been adapted from e-mails we exchanged over the past couple of months.

Here's how Tom describes himself.

I am a middle aged man living in Middle America growing round in the middle. I find women fascinating. Nothing in life would make me happier than to have the privilege of hand spanking a beautiful woman. As you see, I have a lot of burning questions.

This is the first of several installments. You may notice that the questions follow a random stream of consciousness sequence. I tried in places to add some continuity, but there's still a good bit of jumping around.

Q1. Did you have sex before marriage?

A1. Yes. It was the 1970s. I was on the pill. No one had ever heard of AIDS. Sex was part of living. I wouldn't have considered marrying someone without being sure we were compatible in bed.

Q2. Was it with your husband or someone else?

A2. Both, but after I met Randy, there were no others.

Q3. Do you enjoy being spanked?

A3. Yes, most times I do. Even when I don't enjoy it in the moment, it's always exciting to recount later. Everything about it is exciting for me. I could write a book about the positive benefits that spankings have had in my life. In fact, perhaps I already have!

Q4. What is it about being tied up that appeals to you?

A4. For me, the attraction is the expression of strength and dominance. At that instant, I am compelled to submit. I am committed and there is no going back (actually, there is, but I choose not to entertain that possibility).

There's something very primal about dominance and submission. It appeals to me at a very deep emotional level. Being restrained makes real the bargain between us. The rest of the time, it's there, but we don't necessarily discuss it or act on it. When he is on top, figuratively and literally, it awakens the delicious cravings within.

Q5. Do you have sex during your period?

A5. We did, though it was never a favorite activity.

Q6. Is there some aspect of kink you'd love to try?

A6. Yes, when I read the various party reports, I wish I could go and meet all of these wonderful friends in person. For a number of good reasons, though, that isn't likely to happen.

Q7. Do you ever go out in public with a skirt that is too short?

A7. It's not my normal mode of dress, but yes, I have. Take me 300 miles from home and my exhibitionist side comes out.

Q8. What is your husband's biggest turn-on?

A8. What time is it? Seriously, he has lots of them. He loves spanking my bottom, dressing me in lingerie and having me walk the runway, various sex acts, messing with my head (in a good way, of course), and role play.

Q9. How about anal sex?

A9. Yes, we've done that too.

Q10. Do men ever stare at you?

A10. I am rarely aware of it, but Randy occasionally points it out. I don't mind a quick glance as long as guys don't act creepy or try to stalk me. I like the idea that I can still be appealing and I guess I am somewhat flattered. But I don't want anyone to get the idea that I need or want another sexual relationship.

Q11. Have you always been a hot chick?

A11. Am I a hot chick? Thank you, I guess. I don't know...

Q12. Do you believe in domestic discipline?

A12. I believe that many couples find one of the DD variants to their liking. It's isn't really quite our thing, but that's just us.

Our lifestyle has a lot in common with those of our DD brethren, but our formulation is perhaps closer to D/s than DD. Specifically, there are no rules to be enforced. If Randy believes I need to be spanked, then I am spanked. That is as simply as I can explain it.

Q13. Is there anything you wouldn't do for your husband?

A13. Yes, of course. For example, I would never cause harm to an innocent person or animal. I think there is a basic morality that governs all human interaction. Fortunately, Randy and I share these values, so it's never been an issue.

Q14. What size panties do you wear?

A14. Usually seven, but it depends upon the style. In full coverage briefs, I would probably need something larger.

Q15. Do you ever avoid wearing thongs because you know they will get you spanked?

Q15. We have an understanding. I can wear a thong anytime I choose and he will take that as a sign that I am in immediate need of a spanking. It's a way to ask without asking. So when I put on a thong, it's with a full recognition of the consequences.

I've talked about this arrangement in the blog before, but there is one new aspect that I don't believe I've described. Basically, we have a difference of opinion. When someone is shaped as I am, even the most modest styles of underwear tend to work their way into a wedgie. This ride-up is not my choice. It just happens over the course of the day. In Randy's mind, a wedgie is equivalent to a thong and should be handled in the usual way, that is, with a paddle. As a result, I've taken a number of spankings that I thought were unjust. He told me we have to agree to disagree. Hrmph.

Q16. Would you rather take a long duration, moderate spanking or a short duration, severe spanking?

A16. It depends entirely upon how I feel at the moment. Perhaps that's not a satisfying answer, but it's the truth. In any case, I seldom get to choose.

Q17. Do you have any tats or piercings?

A17. No ink. The only piercings I have are in my earlobes.

Q18. Is there anyone else in the scene that you envy?

A18. Envy is such an unpleasant word. Would I like to go back and be twenty again knowing what I know now? Of course, who wouldn't? It would be fun to live those years again in today's world. But that's not possible. I'm satisfied with who I am.

Q19. How many times a week do you and your husband have sex?

A19. Oh, you mean together...? Sorry, I couldn't resist. We average two or three times I'd say.

Q20. How does aging effect your spankings?

A20. It's a mixed bag. On one hand, we move a little slower and lack the physical stamina we once had. On the other, we've learned through experience exactly what works well in any given situation. We've made a few adjustments, but we still enjoy our spankings.

I guess that's enough for today. Stay tuned for more Incredibly Personal Q&A.


Riley said...

Thanks for sharing, Bonnie. I enjoyed reading your Q&A! Interesting thong arrangement, I like that idea..I may have to bring that up! ;)

Anonymous said...


Thank you for answering so many very personal questions.


SpankCake said...

Thank you for sharing, Bonnie! Making yourself vulnerable to your readers is a gift we all appreciate. I look forward to getting to know you better...much better ;)


sunnygirl said...

Bonnie, I admire you for answering such personal questions. Even though anonymity protects us I still keep so much private. You're incredible.
Thank you.

Ana said...

Wow! This was very interesting. I felt a bit naughty reading it, like it was something I wasn't supposed to read. :)

Roz said...

Thank you for sharing this Bonnie, I too admire you for answering such personal questions. Interesting replies, especially the thong arrangement.

Hermione said...

Hi Bonnie,

Tom is quite the nosey Parker, isn't he? I would have told him to stuff it when he asked Q5. And there's more to come?


Julia said...

That was pretty intimate! Thongs have the same meaning for us...

Emen said...

What made you decide to enter into such a long, detailed, intimate exchange?

Christina said...

Your post title is very accurate and some of those questions are very personal, but if you feel comfortable answering them and publicly, then I guess they're not too personal for you. That takes courage, and isn't something I could do... so Kudos!

BTW, Happy Birthday Bonnie! I hope the upcoming year is full of everything you need and desire!

Bonnie said...

Riley - Despite what I say here, we've had a lot of fun with the thong ritual over the years.

JR - You're welcome!

SC - I love this community and I am pleased to serve it as I can.

SG - You're quite welcome!

Ana - I think a little plain speaking can open a dialog where none existed before.

Roz - Thanks. Wait until you see what's coming up!

Hermione - Actually, he was polite and respectful. I have no complaints about Tom.

Julia - A thong does make baring a lot simpler.

Emen - I always intended to publish the questions and answers. I knew it would be great blog content. I told Tom that was my intent early on.

Christina - I'm willing to be a bit more transparent than usual so readers have the opportunity to see inside our relationship and better understand our dynamic.

Thank you for the early birthday wishes!

Post a Comment