Sunday, January 21, 2018

Incredibly Personal Q&A Part IV

Way back in 2012, I has a long running e-mail conversation with a reader I refer to as Tom. This fellow had a lot of questions and many of them were deeply personal in nature. He was so curious, so patient, and just so sweet, that I chose to answer most of his questions as honestly as I could without outing myself. This dialog turned into three of our most popular posts ever. You can read them here, here, and here.

As you've probably guessed, Tom is back and he has more questions. Once again, I have responses. My purpose in sharing this information is to provide our fellow spankos with a benchmark. The way Randy and I do things is certainly not the only way or necessarily the best way, but it's worked for us. I hope these answers will provide useful new ideas, confirmation, or topics for conversation. In many cases, I edited questions and answers for brevity.

So with further ado, let's get personal!

Q61. We haven't seen much of you lately. Where have you been?

A61. I've been engaged in a great many activities. I'm still working full time. I have also picked up some volunteer assignments. Most notably, I have been deeply involved with a community theater company. I have also worked with young people learning about acting and theater tech.

Q62. What's your favorite color?

A62. Red.

Q63. Does it seem incongruous that your favorite color is also your safeword?

A63. I guess I never considered that. I can live with a little ambiguity.

Q64. What is your favorite style of panty?

A64. That depends. Randy loves to dress me in attractive lingerie, so I have lots from which to choose. If I am headed to work, most days I will probably wear some practical full coverage cotton briefs. I am a granny, so I'm entitled to wear them if I want. They are soft and comfortable and they (mostly) don't ride up. For the gym or working around the house, my choice is more likely a pair of high cut, high waisted briefs. These are also cotton or a cotton blend, typically in pastel colors. They provide greater ease of movement. Finally, if spanking play is on the docket, I slide into a thong. I own a remarkable number of thongs in every imaginable fabric, color, and pattern. Randy once said, as he was presenting me with more new thongs, that he never wanted to miss a spanking opportunity because all of my thongs were in the laundry. Let's just say that is not an issue.

Q65. What do you think about when you are over your husband's lap and he is spanking you with a paddle?

A65. When your bottom is being assaulted, it focuses your mind upon the very immediate here and now. The imagination can't wander far at those painful moments. Disciplinarians sometimes talk about gaining a spankee's full attention and, believe me, a briskly applied paddle can do that.

Q66. I hear some women say that they have an issue with wearing pink because it reinforces negative gender stereotypes. Do you wear pink?

A66. Yes, I do. I want to be soft and feminine sometimes. It's not all that I am, but I would never want to lose that caring, nurturing aspect of myself. I hope we can someday evolve as a society to a place where soft need not be considered the opposite of strong. I think I can be as tough as most men, but only when I have to be.

Q67. That brings us to the question of the year, #metoo?

A67. Yes, unfortunately, #metoo. I started a post on this topic around the beginning of 2018, but abandoned it when I decided it was too depressing and too off-topic for this spanking blog. I have been harassed in various ways since I was a young teen. I've been hit on by elderly men and kids who were our daughter's age. I've been groped. I've been stalked. I've been followed. I've been leered at. I've listened to critiques of my body. I've been minimized, passed over, paid less, put down, ignored, and talked over at work. There are many dimensions of creepiness and I've experienced quite a few personally. And this was vanilla Bonnie, just going through my life, not blogger Bonnie who talks about spankings and sex. So, yeah, #metoo.

Q68. So what's the answer?

A68. We need to elect and support leaders who will move us forward. Let's remember that women are a majority. If we unite and work together, we can build a better world. We must muster the courage to challenge those in powerful places to live up to the responsibility with which they've been entrusted and set a positive example for the rest of society. If they are unwilling or unable to change, then change must come without them.
Stand up. Speak up. But never give up.

Q69. So how's your love life?

A69. (laughing) OK, that might be the worst segue ever, but let's carry on. Randy and I are officially senior citizens now. As we age, there are certain changes we experience and sex is no exception. I think our appetite is still strong, but fatigue and various aches (no, no, not those aches!) sometimes derail our plans. For me, it means that a personal lubricant is a necessity. For Randy, it means there won't be a second helping. We've settled into three or four go-to positions that work most of the time. We live with these realities and happily enjoy sex at least once a week. A brisk spanking is still our foreplay of choice and it remains very effective for us.

Q70. What is your earliest spanko memory?

A70. It was very early, perhaps even before I went to school. I remember having a Little Golden storybook where one of the characters, an animal I think, was spanked OTK for some minor offense. I was fascinated and carefully studied every detail of that illustrated page in hopes of learning more. For reasons I couldn't fully grasp at the time, I wanted to be that spankee. I don't know whether this desire was inborn, but if not, it started very young.

Q71. You've said that you work as a technical writer. How have those skills helped you as a blogger?

A71. Blogging about spanking is a lot more fun, but otherwise, there are a number of similarities. In both cases, I seek to convey nuanced and sometimes complex thoughts in a simple, concise manner. There is a definite structure and pace required, though I have more freedom to deviate here. I think I am fairly organized and that was particularly essential when I was posting everyday. There's a lot of crossover.

Q72. What do you wear to work out?

A72. I'm sorry to keep saying, "It depends," but it does. If it's likely to be warm where I work out, it could be shorts and a t-shirt. If it's cold, the outer layer is probably sweat pants and a warmer top. For in between times and underneath, I have some lycra gear. I am not the hot workout chick if that's what you're asking.

Q73. Tell us about your granddaughter.

A73. Oh my. You've found my soft spot. She is a delight and the light of our lives. I wish we could see her more often. She is smart and beautiful and clever and strong. We are very proud of her as we cheer each new accomplishment. She's shaped like me (and her mother), but has Randy's sense of humor.

Q74. How do you feel about Randy's growing collection of photos and videos of you?

A74. On one hand, creating and curating this private content gives him pleasure and I support that. On the other hand, I would be mortified if relatives, friends, co-workers, neighbors, or casual acquaintances ever saw video of everything that happens to me when I am strapped to the spanking bench. He would never release them without my permission and that won't happen anytime soon.

Q75. Have you acquired a new favorite implement since we last talked?

A75. Yes, after years of discussion, we finally purchased a real punishment cane. I don't know if it qualifies as a favorite, but the big cane generates a different sort of sensation than any of our other spanking toys. It's a worthy addition to our collection.

Q76. Since you mentioned the cane, if you were a naughty schoolgirl, would you prefer to receive six strokes with the cane or four whacks with a big wooden school paddle?

A76. Oh, if I were a naughty schoolgirl... I think your question presumes this schoolgirl seeks to get away with the less severe punishment (and isn't totally into the experience like me). I would choose the cane because as painful as it is, it won't create the deep ache that lasts like swats from the big paddle do.

Q77. What is your favorite time of day for a spanking?

A77. We've maintained a Friday evening routine for many years. I think it started because that was the time when our daughter was most reliably out of the house. She's long gone now, but the tradition remains. The only downside is that we are usually tired after a long work week. But there's nothing like a good healthy bottom warming to make one feel rejuvenated. We've experimented with spankings on weekend mornings. Unfortunately, that practice tends to interfere with completion of weekend tasks. A weeknight spanking is a fun change of pace sometimes. So I guess my answer is pretty much whenever he has the paddle in his hand.

Q78. Would you ever wear a shirt with a subtle or not so subtle spanking message?

A78. Around the house, yes, absolutely. I think it would be fun. I particularly liked the Omega Tau Kappa sorority shirts that Princess Kelley sold a couple of years ago. Out in public, probably not.

Q79. Do you wax or shave your pubic region?

A79. Neither. I keep it cropped it short.

Q80. You say that you are now a semi-retired blogger. What does that mean?

A80. It means that I blog when I have the time and inclination. Blogging no longer runs my life so I can truly enjoy everything that I'm doing.

That's it. Tom actually had additional questions, but I chose twenty for this post. I hope you enjoyed learning more about me than you ever thought you wanted to know.


Fondles said...

It's good to see you! And thank you so much for sharing these questions and answers!

Roz said...

Hi Bonnie,

It's always wonderful to see you here :) Wow, those are some questions! I really enjoyed reading your answers, the tgewtre work sounds like a lot of fun. Thank you for sharing :)


Bernie said...

Thank you for your openness. Your comments might give us a way to develop our own relationships.

Eric51 Amy49 said...

It is nice having such a candid conversation. Thanks Bonnie!

Hermione said...

What fun! I'm pleased t\aaht Tom contacted you again.


PK Corey said...

As always I love seeing you here and reading your answers. But I have another questions. Of course Randy would never release any picture of you - but do you have anyone in your real life that could come clean things up if something, God forbid, happened to both of you at the same time. It's a worry I have for myself with all our toys, etc. It's one of the few things about my spanking life that really concerns me.

Leigh Smith said...

He is an inquisitive person - good questions though. Loved how you took the time to answer so succinctly.

Blondie said...

Thank you for sharing. Loved the questions and answers. Especially love #67 and 69.

Katie said...

Hi Bonnie, :) Love that you shared these with all of us. It's always so nice to hear from you!

My very fav answers were A68 & A69. "Stand up. Speak up. But never give up." I love that, and completely agree! Also love your honesty as you describe being in love now, is like.

Also Loved A73 as well! I'm guessing that your eyes light up when talking about your grand. I can feel it in your loving words. She sounds like such a joy! Cannot wait until a grand comes our way. For now... a grand kitten will have to do! Thank you for sharing. Wishing you and Randy a lovely week. Many hugs,

<3 Katie

Bonnie said...

Fondles - It's good to be seen. You're very welcome.

Roz - Thank you. Yes, it really is a lot of fun. I started with acting and gradually moved from tech to stage managing to directing. And as every teacher knows, you never learn more than when you teach a subject to others.

Bernie - That is my sincere hope.

Amy - You are most welcome.

Hermione - I was a little surprised to hear from him again after so long, but he was politely curious as always.

PK - We've discussed conditions under which we might share that content with the world. Maybe we will in ten or twenty years when we're retired and no one would recognize me. Who knows?

We have talked about the disposition of our toy stash should something happen to both of us. We've come to the conclusion that there's just too much. We cannot lock it all in a single box when we leave home. Even if we could, what about that spanking bench downstairs? There's no way to disguise it as something innocent. We're just going to hope it doesn't happen like that.

Leigh - Tom is nothing if not inquisitive!

Blondie - I felt as though I wanted to say something about #67. It's too important to remain silent.

Katie - I feel strongly about these issues. As for our little princess, my eyes do light up. What a sweetie she is. Motherhood is rewarding, but grandmotherhood is even better. :)

Hook said...

#63 and #65 - my favorites

Wallace said...

Your Q&A with Tom is always fun...hope more are coming!

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