Jillian's Prompts: Do All Spankos Think the Same?

The amazing Jillian Keenan has a YouTube channel where she regularly posts videos about our favorite topic. I love Jillian. She is incredibly smart, a great writer, delightfully out, and a spanko through and through. Were she not half my age, I might aspire to grow up to be like Jillian.

Besides all that, I find Jillian's perspectives to be fascinating because her life is so different from mine. We are both spankos and journalists, but otherwise, we have little in common. She has lived and worked on at least four continents and experienced many adventures. She hosts and attends spanking parties and has many friends in the scene.

Recently, Jillian filmed a two-part video entitled "Do All Spankos Think the Same?" While attending a spanking party, she gathered five spanko friends, including Jillian's partner, and our friend Princess Kelley, and her fiance, Stephen. She presented the group with a series of prompts to explore different opinions within even this small subset of the spanko community. Spoiler Alert: There were a lot of differences.

I thought it might be fun to take a shot at responding to Jillian's prompts. Some of my responses are unlike those presented by anyone in her group.

Prompt #1: I am afraid other people will find out about my fetish

Agree - I've often wondered in recent years what it might be like to be out. The freedom to be oneself after so many years has to be exhilarating. But at this point, the price is just too high.

Prompt #2: My fetish is my sexual orientation

It's Complicated - Randy and I define spanking as sex. A spanking is just another sort of sex act for us, and a total favorite. With that said, I am a straight cis-female. I've always been attracted to men.

Prompt #3: Sex is important to me

Agree - Absolutely. When I get a spanking, I prefer to include lovemaking as part of the festivities, and vice versa.

Prompt #4: Fifty Shades of Grey was good for our community

Disagree - Someday, there might be a popular film that actually portrays people of kink as being normal, happy, productive humans who are fortunate enough to live interesting lives. Most of us are not broken or suffering from mental illnesses. This portrayal of kinky people as damaged is analogous to old harmful stereotypes of Black people, Indigenous people, and members of the LGBT+ community.

I reject the argument that any exposure is good. I would like to see us promote real understanding that goes beyond labels and unfair characterizations.

Prompt #5: Consensual adult spankings work for behavior modification

Disagree - People tell me that domestic discipline works for them, and I believe them. But it wouldn't work for me. As I said, spankings are sex for us. As much as we enjoy punishment scenarios, it's never punishment for any real crime.

Prompt #6: Converted vanillas exist

Agree - I know of several converted vanillas, but all are tops. Converting a true vanilla to be a bottom seems like a very unlikely scenario. Either you like having your bottom smacked or you do not. That is a chasm too broad to bridge. On the other hand, when one's sexy partner suggests that it would be a turn-on if you were to spank them, that's a whole different matter.

Prompt #7: I trust spankos more easily than I trust most other people

Disagree - I've encountered many spankos over the years. Some were extremely trustworthy while others were definitely not.

Prompt #8: The gender of my play partner is important to me

Agree - I play exclusively with my husband.

Prompt #9: I was spanked as a child

Agree - Yes, though not to excess. Looking back, this was a source of confusion for me. My young mind had trouble processing spankings, much as if I had been prematurely introduced to sexuality.

Our daughter was never spanked for precisely this reason, well, that, and the fact that it doesn't work. Spanking means sex for us, and kids must be permitted to live their childhood without the burden of adult concerns.

Prompt #10: I consider myself monogamous

Agree - I play exclusively with my husband. You won't find many people more monogamous than us.

Prompt #11: I'm glad I'm a fetishist

Agree - As I say here on the blog, spankings make my good life better.


I think my answers further support Jillian's assertion that spankos hold widely divergent opinions, even about spanking-related topics.

I encourage you to check out Jillian's other videos. There's a lot of practical wisdom there.

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for July 17

Our topic this week dealt with reactions to a suspected spanko woman seated nearby at a restaurant. The question was which of the following would be your reaction?

1. Find an excuse to engage them in conversation
2. Make a spanko remark loudly enough for them to hear
3. Assume your spank-dar is broken and let them eat in peace
4. Listen carefully for any more clues
5. Be silent and grateful that the world is full of spankos
6. Something else?

Anon #1: #6 Perhaps you could have excused yourself from table and when you returned, sat down just as gingerly as she did in order to see if they noticed.

The Marine's Wife: #2. That's just the way I roll, though.

Sara: Definitely #5. Be silent and grateful that the world is full of spankos. I would not want my privacy invaded and would assume the same of them. But it IS nice to know they walk among us! ;)

Six of the Best: I would have sauntered over to them and said,"Good morning, ladies. Your smiles and winces tell me that you have had a spanking good time. Am I correct?”

Meow: #5 I'd rather be unsure than embarrass them, but I'd like to think the world is full of "us."

Hermione: #4 and #5. I would probably be all ears in case they discussed the wincing, although that might be difficult if Ron and I were giggling over what we both imagined was the cause. I would never intrude on their privacy, but I would be delighted that we were seated beside kindred spirits.

Ronnie: It would be 4 followed by 5. I certainly would be straining my neck hoping to hear something, but then be grateful that the world is full of spankos.

Daisy: Definitely 5. If someone were to notice that of me, and comment loudly or ask me outright, I would be embarrassed, upset, and would have to leave immediately. I would consider it to be rude.

Scunge: 5 and 6. The something else would be Robert and I exchanging smiles and maybe a chuckle or two of the wink, wink, nudge, nudge variety! ;)

Keiter: In order, #5, then 4, followed by 1. I don't think I could restrain myself from saying something, particularly if there wasn't a wedding ring in evidence.

Make Mine Red: #4, #5 and #6 with the last being that if we both noticed, we would grin knowingly and whisper to each other.

Bree: #4 then #6 if I heard some spanko reason why she wasn't sitting comfortably. I would make some kind of spanko remark about ourselves to JC loud enough for only the women to hear. It might strike up a conversation, but I would never try to strike up a conversation unless the other party engaged first. I don't like to intrude on other people.

If it turned out that the woman wasn't sitting comfortably because of some vanilla reason - like they just came from exercising at the gym, then it would be #4 then #5.

Alice: #4 - I'm afraid I'm terribly inquisitive (read nosy) and I listen to other people's conversations all the time. I know, it's terrible behaviour, but it is one of my few flaws. :-) This would be a potentially a very interesting opportunity for eavesdropping.

Lea: #4 and #5 - I don't like talking to strangers.

Michelle Carlyle: I would have bugged their table and installed spyware so I could hear every single thing they said. But I wouldn't talk directly to them. Even though I'm one of those people who talks to EVERYONE everywhere I go. Still, how fun it would be to overhear that! I don't know any spankos and haven't run into any except here in cyberspace. I would be super tempted to drop the ladies the URL to my blog however!

Red: I would try to listen closely. If we were in a different part of the city and I heard a direct spanking reference, I might venture to add a spanko comment. Kindred spirits are always welcome in life. In addition, if we are seated that close, they know from hearing our conversation that theirs also can be overheard.

Kingspan: A couple of years ago, I was in a store and heard a man in the candy aisle say to his wife, "Ooh, can I have that, Mommy?" I probably wouldn't have thought any more about it, except that she blushed and hissed, "We are not doing that here!" I thought about saying something to let them know I didn't think it was strange, but realized that anything I said would embarrass her much more than if I just pretended I hadn't noticed.

So, #5. #4 would be tempting, but I'd try to be polite.

Prefectdt: I would love to say #1 and/or #2, but in a real life situation, I would probably do #4 and #5.

Dr. Ken: I'd probably try to overhear anything that might be a confirmation of my suspicions. Perhaps she just had a nasty fall. Maybe she had a shot from a recent doctor's visit.

Ultimately, I would probably just say nothing and smile to myself as I imagined the reason for her discomfort.

Anon #2: #6. I would realise that my own precious bottom was no longer tender from a recent spanking and head off home for my better half to re-kindle the smarting fire that usually burns in my plump rear!

S.N.M.: #2. "Man, this is a spanking good restaurant, innit?"

His First Mate: #4 and #5, but I really enjoyed this topic!

Anon #3: DH and I keep our spanking lifestyle to ourselves. I would go with #5 because I would be mortified if someone said something to me.

Bonnie: Here's what happened. Randy suggested that *I* try approach #1. He must think that being female somehow gives one a license to be rude. When I refused, he jokingly threatened #2. I asked him not to do that. In their place, I would be very uncomfortable. We settled for #5 and a bit of #4. We overheard no further spanko discussion.

Thanks, everyone, for being a part of our brunch!