Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Aug 30

Our topic of the week was preparations or rituals that take place immediately prior to a spanking. Here are your insights.

Hermione: I wrote about our favourite ritual on my blog here. It enhances our experience by making us laugh, and that's the best way to start a spanking.

Love4her: My spankings have been pretty limited, but the few I have been blessed with included a few "givens." At bedtime, she will take special care to wear panties and a bra that she knows make me crave her more than usual. She will also start in an open robe and heels that frame her lovely feet.

The spankings are brief and do not approach any limit I may have, though I wish she could find it in herself to explore that. I really crave and long to submit to her loving and authoritative tone. A voiceless spanking without that would be pointless. It would be a beating in my book.

A brief "talking to" about whatever she feels brought on the need for discipline is followed by twenty or so playful swats with the wooden spoon. Then I must kiss the heels, toes, and arches. Things work upwards from there to ensure her complete satisfaction.

Spnk MeRed: It isn't a big drawn out ritual (although sometimes it feels that way). The old man will instruct me to get into the spanking position and I have to stay there and wait while he walks around getting any tools he wishes to use. I swear he walks at half his normal pace during this time

Keagen: There is not a set ritual as much as a process. When I'm about to get a disciplinary spanking, I'll hear the phrase, "We've got a couple things to address." My wrist will be seized, and I'll be taken to wherever the spanking is going to be given. I'm never allowed to walk there on my own. I'm always taken. It starts to set the mindframe, "I'm not longer in control, or in charge." Once there, he'll sit down, and pull me into his lap. He'll cradle me close, and we'll talk. His goal is always to understand why I acted as I did, and to make sure that *I* understand why I'm going to be put over his knee.

After this, he'll guide me in front of him. Once again, I'm not allowed to move myself. I'm guided. He'll look me straight in the eyes, and require that I maintain eye contact, as he undoes my belt, and takes my pants and panties all the way down, and sometimes off. He'll pull me close for a hug, and then, he'll throw me over his knee. I'm permitted to keep my hands to myself, until I get them in the way, at which point I'm required to submissively fold them behind my back. That's a process that I hate. With that, and the leg-lock that often follows, I lose all remaining vestiges of control.

Sting Me: My Sir believes in corner time. I have to put on my jammies and he leads me to the corner where my jammies are lowered to the floor or totally removed. I have to put them back on and am taken by the elbow or if very naughty by the ear to where the spanking will happen. Then we have the ritual questions and spanks. He asks my name and whose subby am I. I respond that, “I am your subby, Master,” and receive one hand spank. He asks if I have been a naughty girl. I tell him, “Yes, Master, I have been a naughty girl,” and then receive two more hand spanks. Finally, he asks whether I have been a very naughty girl. I tell him, “Yes, Master,” and receive three spanks.

Sometimes this is over the jammies, but Master believes it doesn't count as a real spanking unless it's on the bare. Then my spanking begins in earnest. I am often required to rise and fetch whichever implement he wants to use next and return the previous one to its place. This can happen as many as seven times during one spanking. We always finish me up with another good, hard hand spanking.

K: We put the kids to bed first. If we still have any energy left, we get busy. That's about the only ritual part of the activities. After that, it's whatever we feel like at the time. Some nights there are fireworks. Others, there are warm swats and cuddles. It's all good.

T: If the spanking is just because, he takes the time to rub my behind every five swats or so and again when we are finished. The swats are almost always accompanied by a light kiss on each behind cheek.

However, if the spanking is a result of discipline, there is no rubbing or kissing at all. Just the feeling of hard, heart pounding, serious-feeling swats and the instruction to clean myself up and reflect on my wrong doings. I must also tell him why the spanking occurred.

Thank you, T, for joining us for brunch.

Jean Marie: Not always, not even very often, but every once in a while he'll sit me on the bed next to him and lovingly brush my hair back, then put it in a ponytail with a ribbon. This is to keep it out of my eyes, so he can see my face wince. He then puts me over his knee and uses that hairbrush on my other end. This ritual builds such anticipation.

Daisy: I get a maintenance spanking on alternate day. (It used to be daily, but I have been behaving, so he has made it alternate days for now). I am instructed to fetch the paddle, and strip. He uses a stern voice to lecture before the spanking begins.

I get ten swats to each cheek, then fifteen, and then, sometimes another twenty. Then I get five to ten stings, and more if I have been rude or disrespectful.

Spanky: At first, I didn't think we did. But after thinking about it, I realize that we do have separate rituals for both erotic and discipline spankings. These rituals are completely different from each other by necessity, and have evolved over time. We don't always adhere to them, but the vast majority of the time we do, because they're fun (well, at least the erotic ones are!).

I won't bore you with the details, because what works for us might not work for anyone else. I think everyone will develop the rituals that are right for them if they need to do so, especially if there is good communication.

Spanky, I have it on good authority that several of the rituals that you and Kallisto share are definitely NOT boring.

Spank-A-Lot: It depends on what kind of spanking it is. For maintenance, it's in the corner with her hands folded behind her and the hairbrush in her hands. For discipline, it's largely the same but without the hairbrush, bared bottom, and a scolding before it starts. For good girl spankings, a kind of informal ritual is a loving bottom rub that I give her. :)

Penfold: For play, Bear and I don't really have a ritual, but we always have a good time and I remember it for the rest of the day or evening. Our DD has some rituals. If I'm driving up to see Bear, and we are on Bluetooth, soon before I reach him, the verbal discipline begins. I also have to have a few minutes of silence. The radio or any form of music cannot be on in the background on the journey, and if it is, then that gets more spanks. When I arrive, Bear is there either at the door or waiting in the hall for me. I'm taken into either the bedroom or the living room. That's when the final part of the verbal discipline happens. He often hugs me to give me a little love and reassurance. Then the spanking begins, usually over his knee, but sometimes over the arm of the chair. Finally, I am let up for hugs and love on his lap.

Anon VII: Our ritual is usually rather short and focuses on positioning, admonitions about holding position and penalty swats for breaking position, and a wait of half a minute or more for the first pop. During the wait, I pat her bottom with the paddle and often place light strokes there and along the backs of the thighs. Sometimes, I pull the paddle away and let her think the first swat is coming, and then to do a few more pats, strokes, or both. She loves the adrenalin build-up from the wait that's never exactly the same twice in a row. The anticipation and uncertainty build tremendous arousal as well as tension, and the first impact provides a huge release for her.

Sandy: I think the play that Rad and I do is more of the snatch and grab type. We don't have a DD relationship, although he occasionally enforces bedtime. It's funny how he delays my bedtime even further by insisting upon putting me over his knee...

But rituals? Not really. The closest I can think of is when he sometimes tells me to get into the bedroom, stretch out across the bed and wait for him. Those times, I can expect a more severe punishment than normal.

Heartzlady: All spankings for us start the same way. I get asked, "Why are you getting spanked?" The answer is, "Because you love me. Because I love you. Because I'm worthy of you loving me and taking care of me."

This exchange never lets me forget that no matter whether it's for 'consequences' or 'just because,' it's always for the same reasons. :)

Anon: Because my husband follows punishment spankings by rubbing skin lotion into my abused bottom, one time I just got the pump bottle and put it within his reach before crawling over his knee for my punishment. Well, apparently because (in his words) he "likes to see my little red wagon roll away" from him after punishment, this was seen as presumptuous. He rubbed a liberal amount onto my butt before he applied the hairbrush. That was the single most painful spanking I ever got, as I told him tearfully afterward. To make up for it, he rubbed a liberal amount up my crack and into my anus. We made love with his finger deep up there, making my libido sing the Hallelujah Chorus. Sure enough, the very next time I earned punishment, he made me fetch the lotion bottle and I got spanked with a moisturized bottom, yelping and begging all the time the hairbrush did its damage. That has been the ritual ever since, I'm sorry to say.

I'm a long-time lurker who just had to share today.

Welcome, Anon!

Red: I'm required to retrieve and lay out the toys, assume the position and wait for however long it takes for her to arrive. I then have to explain why I'm being spanked (even if it's just that I haven't been spanked recently enough, whether it is just been hours or a few days).

One thing: Being caught away from the designated place and position earns me more. I'm pretty good at doing that. It's something I like to add to the ritual.

Bonnie: I wrote the following more than three years ago, but it's equally applicable today.

My thoughts and experiences with regard to rituals are well documented in this blog. I believe rituals provide a certain continuity within a relationship. That's not to say that a couple must always do things in precisely the same rote manner. Even when experimenting, though, it's nice to have those little touchstones. Rituals can provide welcome reassurance.

Variety may be the spice of life, but I would argue that comfortable familiarity is high in protein, nutrients, and anti-oxidants.

As always, thank you for sharing your thoughts!

MBS Spanko Brunch #189

Hi everyone and welcome back. Our topic this week was contributed by a generous MBS reader.

Do you or your partner have any special preparations or rituals that immediately precede a spanking? If so, please describe these activities and how they enhance your experience.

When you're ready to enter your answer, just add a comment below. Once everyone has taken their turn, I will post an edited summary of our conversation.

A Spanko Testimonial

The text that follows was written by RU from LU Through the Looking Glass. It's a gentleman's heartfelt expression of love and a powerful testament to how spanking can transform an intimate relationship. I thought these words were too inspiring not to share.

There is simply no amount of money in this world that comes close to the feeling I get when LU looks at me. The spark in her eyes, the look of love on her face, the touch that is completely electric. To this day, when she walks in a room, I swear my heart skips a beat. Seriously, these are no cheesy love song lyrics. It happens! This feeling has no equal. When you find it, it is the greatest treasure you will ever know. I have found it and will not let it go. Our initial reunions are always very intense after being apart for so long and building it up with our electronic flirting. It usually is only a matter of minutes before one of us pounces on the other one. This time I got pounced! She is an agile one... That LU!

So I know, you are saying about now... get to the spanking part. Share with me RU! As LU said, we had a couple of sessions. I would like to share a little about our second session. It was the most intense to date. I spend some time thinking about how I want LU to receive her quality spank time. This time it was blindfolded on the edge of the bed with a couple of pillows helping to prop up and present my target nicely. We had the most intense experience and took this opportunity to explore each other VERY, VERY thoroughly. All the while, she was blindfolded and enjoying an ever reddening bottom. We continued until neither one of us could take it any longer and proceeding into passionate lovemaking, followed by some serious lovemaking (choose your preferred word here). Apparently, spanking is the ultimate in foreplay for us. We keep it fun. She will giggle, but note that too much giggling may result in a firm smack!

Spanking draws LU out in ways I can’t describe. It frees her, relieves her stress, and as she shared (and to me for the first time), it has helped her to understand that she does not have to be this independent island, and does not have to carry life’s burdens alone. I love the intimacy and trust this has brought into our relationship. And well, seriously? Is there anything more amazing then the sight of your lover presenting and sharing herself with you in the most intimate of ways? That’s Hot!

So, guys, if your woman asks you for a spanking, what are you going to say?

Kinky Castrol Commercial

OK, this is strange.


Wouldn't a real Scot make his point with a tawse instead?

In with the New: Kickoff Edition

The hits just keep coming! It's time for yet another collection of fifteen new spanking-oriented blogs. I hope all MBS readers will visit and have a look.

Cutesypah's Corner Daddy's Little Girl Irish Domestic Discipline Let's Talk Spanks Lu Through the Looking Glass Neo Dom's Journey Poppy's Submissions Sly's Treehouse Sarah's Life Simply Slippering Spankable Husband Spanking Critic Spanking Terri Staring at the Carpet Sub Girl in a Vanilla World

Welcome to all of you! I hope your blogging experience will be beneficial and fun.

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Aug 23

This week's topic generated a tremendous response. Thanks to everyone who shared their experiences. The question dealt with when and how we discovered that we were definitely not alone in our spanking interest. Here are your thoughts.

Anon VII: We discovered it through the Internet, and in particular, through sites such as this one. In the early days of the Net, there were stories and pictures, but very little to assure those like us that we weren't oddballs. In fact, most of the early sites seemed to reinforce the view that we were. So we pretty much left them alone. We've been together for over thirty years, but its only been within the last seven or eight that we've gotten the message that we are far from alone and that our inclination is so commonplace that it's really not even a kink.

Ms. Betty: It was when my ex-husband and I discovered boxes and boxes of femdom magazines left behind in a storage unit we were cleaning out.

I was shocked and thrilled all at once. I'd had no idea. Most of them were more dungeony than I was into at the time, with lots of forced femme and some real extreme stuff, but plenty of fun and interesting ideas to explore. To this day, I still remember some of the stories.

Mr. Shiny: It was a multistage event for me. I was well read enough to know of BDSM and just figured I was "that" – until I attended a full fledged BDSM convention and realized that it was NOT my crowd. Eventually, I noticed a newsgroup devoted just to spanking, checked it out , and found my peeps. :)

Carly: It's pretty funny now, but I used the internet for years, and absolutely knew if I typed "spanking" into the box, I would find amazing things. But I couldn't make myself do it. I guess I wasn't ready to confront it in myself.

By the way, like almost everyone here, it was you, Bonnie, who made it seem okay for me. When I read your blog, I realized that it could be a fun, loving, sexy thing between two people in love. Thanks a million times over.

You're very welcome, Carly. My reward has been the pleasure of meeting fascinating friends like you.

RPT (Fred Bloggs): Some time in the early 1970s, I went in to a shop in Walkers Court, Soho, London, UK. The shop sold and indeed still sells to this day, fetish items. I bought some magazines. I responded to some of the small ads in the back of the magazines and discovered the scene that is BDSM.

(That's the short version, in reality it took a long time to get into the scene in any meaningful way)

It's easier nowadays. Just Google "BDSM" or "Spanking." You youngsters don't know you're born... /grumpy old man!

Hermione: As a child, I saw pulp fiction novels in the drugstore, similar in theme to Ms. Betty's magazines, with cover illustrations of semi-clad women cowering and bleeding as men wielded whips. While in my teens, I discovered spanking stories in magazines like Penthouse Variations, before it was censored for Canadian readers. There was also the occasional spanking in National Lampoon. Then I came across paperback novels set in the Victorian era, full of spanking and sex, as well as scholarly books on S&M, B&D and spanking in my university's bookstore.

Maryann: When I found your blog a year and a half ago.

Jay: Last January. I realised that I could get internet on my phone and typed “spank” into Google. One of the first pages that came up was Lowewood Academy (so sad its ended). I went on there and started reading. Eventually, I formed a friendship with Paul and he helped me take my first steps. I got my first adult spanking in February of this year and have not looked back since.

Spanky: That's easy! It was when I found your blog. Simply put, sending the link to Kallisto transformed our lives.

Ken: My first realisation that my interest in adult spanking was shared by other people happened was when I read an article on it in Forum magazine at university.

I had already experienced it with a girlfriend in my final year at school, so I should have known that I was not alone then. But I thought it was just the two of us that were strange.

Curtis: It was a different era way before the Internet. I guess the first time I knew I wasn't alone was in the eighth grade when a music teacher tended to bring the classroom discussion about twice a week to spanking and allowed that it was "fun." There were also some of the threats that some teachers, aunts, etc. made that seemed to have a sexual overtone.

My knowledge of an adult spanking community, I think, came from a magazine called Mr. which had letters about spanking in every issue. Occasionally, there were articles about spanking and, in each issue, there was an interview with the model of the month which always included her childhood spanking experiences. I don't know how I found that magazine. Later there was Penthouse Variations, and more rarely, something in Playboy about spanking. Then there was Wicked Wanda, an adult cartoon in Penthouse that on three occasions featured spanking. There were adult book stores and they had little pamphlets-sized story books with a picture of some one being spanked on the cover. There was a store in New York, that still exists but has moved several times, called Kinematics where you could watch spanking films.

But I owe my biggest debt to Eve Howard, who wrote under her own name for Stand Corrected (which started as a spanking mag) and as Lizzie Bennett for Lyndon Publications and did a turn as a spankee in Nu-West videos. What she wrote made me comfortable in my own skin with my sexual proclivities. Then, if you wanted to hide your identity, you got yourself a P.O. Box under an assumed name, sent orders for mags via money order, and made connections via ads in the magazines. It was a different world, more furtive, less expansive, but I never felt alone – just often horny when I didn't have a partner.

Our Bottoms Burn: I discovered that I was one of many when, in the very early days of the Internet, I searched for spanking and got back over a hundred hits (the www was brand new). I found a newsgroup Alt.sex.spanking (ASS), which later became Soc.sexuality.spanking (SSS). Through that forum, I learned that my interest was not rare at all. We also met others who shared our interests and quite a few whose interests were “more robust.”

If only MBS had been around then. In my never humble opinion, Bonnie has done more to make spanking accepted by spanking enthusiasts than any other medium.

Wow, thanks, Bogey, but I think we each play a small role in establishing spanking as an acceptable, safe, and fun alternative.

Paolo: I am old enough to have been turned on by all things spanking WAY before the internet arrived! It is all and well that the 20- to 30-somethings have had the internet to propel them into the wonderful world of spanking and all of that. But tonight, I would love to raise (another) glass to those of the “Before the Internet” (BI) age who went forth with their beliefs, and spanked for all their lives were worth!

Diesel Diva: It was three wonderful years ago when I joined the 21st century and finally got the internet (I know, the kids hated me for not having it). Then I got beyond brave (for me) and Googled the word “spanking.” I discovered this wonderful blog and now know two things. (1) I'm so not alone, and (2) I'm not the flaming weirdo I always thought I was while trying to suppress my spanking desires.

Missy H: Curtis, I envy you your music teacher. Jokes about adult recreational spanking in the 8th grade! LOL

But I remember my own personal epiphany very well. I've been enthralled by spanking my entire life, but I thought my interest was weird and unique to me. Then one night, when I was 12, I was watching the comedy Monty Python and the Holy Grail. There's a scene where Sir Galahad wanders into a castle filled with dozens of pretty, flirtatious young women. They tease him about his hopeless quest and suggest he stay with them. When he becomes agitated and exasperated, they coyly suggest he spank them for their impertinent irreverence. At the “magic word,” they all crowd enthusiastically around him, chanting,"A spanking!" while clapping eagerly and jumping up and down. *smiles* A tad overdone, perhaps, but most welcome by one newly enlightened and oh so relieved young viewer.

I still vividly remember how at first I felt awestruck, and then serene at the realization that my dreadful, unmentionable secret was actually just a playfully joked about commonplace. It was nice to learn that I wasn't Jack the Ripper!

Plus, I'm an anglophile, so the acceptance and validation by a British film was especially gratifying. I did not know the term 'le vice anglais' yet, but I would soon. As my taste in books and movies grew more sophisticated, there were many more such references. But I'll always have a soft spot for Michael Palin and Company.

A'marie: I'd fantasized a lot about it, and my partner at the time knew of it (and thus thought I was a bit wacky). It wasn't until I found myself in an IRC chatroom during my freshman year of college that I knew I wasn't the only one thinking of such things. :)

I still have an excellent friend from that particular era.

There was relief, but I think it also scared me a bit that it could be real and not a fantasy.

Prefectdt: Back in the 1980s, when I became tall enough to reach the adult novels in the book shops (it's how they are stacked in the UK, so that the little kiddies cannot reach them), I found books of collections of spanking and BDSM stories amongst the vanilla titillation novels. This lead me to adult shops where I found the specialist magazines. Then I knew I was not alone in my desires and fantasies.

It was not until the advent of the internet that I realized just how many of us that there are. Even the conservative estimates of how many pain playing kinksters there are in the world still amaze me.

Daisy: Oh, well, that's easy, Bonnie. It was right here, on your wonderful blog. I will be grateful to you for the rest of my days for the reassurance that it is normal and acceptable and I am not alone. It gave me the courage to confide in my Davey, who looked up spanking and found himself in some serious BDSM sites, and was horrified to think I liked THAT! When we chatted about it, and I realised what he thought, I gave him your site to read. He then checked out your blog for reassurance that his wife to be was not masochistic, mad or alone, and that consensual spanking was not abuse! The rest is history...

Thank you, Daisy. Stories like yours remind my why I am still blogging after nearly four years.

Six of the Best: I grew up in England and I fell in love with one of my teachers. I wanted to spank her. I wanted to bend her over her desk, raise her dress waist high, and take down her knickers, and cane her bare bottom. While I imagined her wearing garter-belt and stockings, I wanted to give her 'six of the best' strokes of the cane.

Ally: About four months ago when I googled “spanking” and found this site. It opened up a whole new world to me!

Keagen: I've had a life-long interest in spanking, but discovered that I wasn't alone during my senior year of high school. I'd discovered spanking stories first semester and devoured them RAPIDLY. I read any site I could find. I was one happy kid. THEN, I decided to write my senior paper on corporal punishment, in order to give me a "cover" for being on all the spanking sites. That's how I discovered the forums, and this lovely world blossomed before me. :-)

Ernest: First EVER? In the mid '60s, I was not quite 14, even vanilla sex was something that wasn't quite nice to know about. You had to pretend to your parents and other adults that you'd never read any James Bond. I got hold of a book, a fairly run-of-the-mill thriller by James Leasor called "Where the spies are."

In one scene, there was a description of a consensual caning, the M being the villain, the anonymous (at that stage) f being a double-agent. And I found it quite flabbergasting!

Here are a few extracts (quoted from a 45-year memory):

"He wondered as he so often had, who enjoyed these sessions more, the giver or the taker of pain.”

"Mouth to mouth, tongues touching, he reached for the cane.”

" 'So you've been naughty again', he said. 'So you need the punishment that fits the crime!'”

"The cane rose and fell, and rose again..."

This is pretty hot, even now!

I've read an awful lot since, and I know a lot more about it since (and even done it myself), but that was the first time I had any inkling that my strange fascination with otherwise-to-be-avoided corporal punishment might link up to sex.

R Humphries: When I first started purchasing spanking magazines back in the early 1970's, it was a very "under-the-counter" activity and everybody was very secretive. Then before the internet, came the undernet and I discovered several "groups" mostly from the Bay Area of San Francisco and communicated with them. But they were more into hard-core BDSM than my particular interest in “Le Vice Anglais.” Then, of course, came the internet and the glorious heyday of the MIRC chat-rooms where I made many friends. And now we have the blogs!

What I love about the blogosphere is that it shares the wonderful diversity of our individual tastes in the delights of spanking. So, bottoms up everybody, and keep on blogging.

Lu: I always knew that kinks existed. But I guess it is different when you are thinking about yourself. The internet was not around when I fully realized my desires in the spanking area. So I just kept it to myself.

Now that the internet is everywhere, I always knew I could search and find things, yet I never did until a few months ago. This is the site that made me feel OK about it and made me able to share it with my partner. It also helped me to understand that there is more to it than even I ever realized. Once I felt comfortable about it, I started exploring the rest of the community. So, in short, I made this discovery only a few months ago.

Anon #1: I started with a dominatrix in my 20's and then found the Naughty Victorian. From that point on, I was interested in domestic discipline.

Anon #2: I've had an interest in spanking ever since I saw a Playboy article in the late '70s. But I never really pursued it or had a partner who was interested beyond the first try. I found your blog a few years ago and realized that it didn't have to have any domestic discipline overtones. That aspect had never appealed to me. It took more than a year for my husband to try after I first suggested it. And the first several sessions were very awkward. Things are getting better. When he left this morning, he told me to add to my to do list for the day, "think about the spanking you're going to get tonight." How am I supposed to think about anything else?

Urs0us: It was when I first saw a spanking video cover in a sex store. I was not looking for that then, but I was certainly thrilled.

Handsdown: Like Spanky, for me, it was when I found this blog. I decided to search "spanking" – a word I never spoke for fear that my secret desire to be spanked would be exposed. I thought I was a freak, and alone. I didn't even share my desire to be spanked with my husband for fear he would also think me a freak. I self spanked for years because the desire would not be repressed. Many may know how unsatisfying self spanking is.

Finally that search and this site gave me the fortitude to tell my husband whom, it turns out, loves to spank me. 28 years wasted on dreams and fear. Thanks for showing me the light, or should I say feeling the red. :)

Handsdown, I makes me smile to be able to share something I love with friends old and new.

Anon #3: I had so completely suppressed my interest in spanking for so long that I even forgot looking it up on the Internet was an option until I was doing some research for a report I was to give on corporal punishment. That's exactly what I typed into the search engine. I found way more than I bargained for. I then typed in “spanking.” MBS was the first blog I read. It was also the first blog my husband read. In short, Thank you!

Hi Anon, and welcome. I'm pleased that this blog was beneficial for you and your husband. You are among friends here.

Indy: I have two stories about this. In the first one, I was too young to understand what it meant, but it made am impression nonetheless. When I was twelve years old, one of the choices for a book report for my English class was "I Will Fear No Evil" by Robert Heinlein. I had read many of his books for adolescents and liked the independence they showed, so I chose this one. A couple hundred pages in, the main character gets spanked to orgasm for pressing her man for sex when they had some kind of a appointment to keep instead. I seriously doubt that I knew what an orgasm was, but it made a lasting impression that the spanker alternated cheeks as he spanked. So I must have understood something about the scene.

As an adult, it was actually discussions about child-rearing with friends who have kids that opened my eyes. I was quite amazed at the number of x-rated sites that popped up on my computer screen – and at work! – in response to my rather innocently typing "spanking" into Google. I later got my own internet provider and tried the search again with a completely different objective in mind.

Indy, I read that book in eighth or ninth grade, along with Heinlein's Time Enough for Love. Both include descriptions of sexual spankings! These stories were mind-blowing for a secret spanko girl who was not very worldly at that stage.

Abby Williams: When I went to college, I was enrolled in an honors society that gave laptops to the eight or so members of the freshman group. This enabled us to have DSL access from our dorms. Yes! My roommate became fascinated by erotic manga. I, of course, sought out spanking sites.

This was the fall of 1996. Little was available to an eighteen year old with no funds for porn, let alone the awareness of what could be purchased. One of the first sites I found was Laura's Spanking Corner, a spanking story repository of excellent quality. I only realized a year or so ago that Abel of The Spanking Writers was one of the regular contributors to the site that aroused me eleven years ago when I was, as they say, "barely legal." I emailed him the minute I realized, "Oh my God, you were one of the writers who made me realize I wasn't completely out of my mind." That was the site that helped me understand that I was part of the grander scheme. Thank you, Laura, and thank you to everyone who has enriched the lives of spankos since then (i.e. Thank you Bonnie!).

Thank you, as well, Abby, for your many excellent contributions.

Bonnie: I recall many of the pre-Internet experiences that have been described. Randy and I combed Penthouse Variations and Forum magazines every month searching for spanking stories. We ordered some of the first Shadow Lane videos (in glorious VHS) by sending money orders through the mail. Their films were greatly superior to any of the earlier tacky porno-style spanking videos. We bought expensive spanking magazines at sleazy adult bookstores, only to find the photographs were obvious fakes. But none of these activities left us feeling as though we were anything other than denizens of the outer fringes of sexual weirdness.

For me, accessing the Internet was the singular event that opened my eyes. Specifically, at Randy's suggestion, I wandered into the ASS/SSS Usenet groups and just lurked. There I discovered thousands of posts written by real people who loved adult spanking. Some even embraced the very same practices we did. It was an vibrant (if occasionally bickering) community where members shared their discoveries and learned from one another. Lo and behold, we were not alone and we would never feel alone again.

With the blog, I seek to extend those feelings of community and inclusiveness to a broader audience. I want spankos to feel comfortable with themselves and with our common interest. We're not scary or strange. We are your brothers, sisters, friends, and neighbors. We live, we love, we spank, we share, and we enjoy. Nothing that feels this right could be wrong.

Thank you again for all your great comments! See you next week.

MBS Spanko Brunch #188

Welcome back, dear friends. Here's a fun question for a late summer weekend.

When and how did you first realize that your interest in adult spanking isn't unique and in fact is shared by millions of people around the world?

Anyone with an interest in our favorite subject is welcome to participate in our community brunch. There's no membership required and you don't have to register. You can even remain anonymous if that helps you to feel more comfortable. Just enter a comment below and you've joined the conversation. Once everyone has spoken, I will post an edited summary of our discussion.

Meme: Spanking Preferences

I haven't done a meme in ages. I've seen this one all over SpankoLife.

1. Would you rather be spanked outside in a cold woodshed or inside by a cozy fire? Light my fire!


2. Would you rather be spanked in public or in private? There is so much more than can be explored in private.


3. Would you rather fantasize about spanking or actually be spanked? It don't mean a thing if it ain't got that sting!


4. Would you rather be spanked for your humiliation or for your spanker's pleasure? I am spanked for whatever purpose Randy chooses.


5. Would you rather be spanked by hand or by hairbrush? Yes, please.


6. Would you rather be spanked by belt or by cane? Neither would be my favorite, but I generally accept whatever gifts my man decides to share.


7. Would you rather be spanked by paddle or riding crop? Perhaps a little of each?


8. Would you rather be restrained or unrestrained during your spanking? We play with restraint sometimes, but it's not on the menu every time. Both are enjoyable.


9. Would you rather be spanked until you cried or until you are aroused? Probably neither. I almost never cry during a spanking, but I am often aroused by the time the first swat lands.


10. Would you rather have just a red bottom or welts/bruises? I think it depends upon the spanking. I don't bruise often and I would rather not have my skin broken, but short of that, he is free to whack away as he deems appropriate.


11. Would you rather be spanked for the naughty things you have done or just because you enjoy the experience? A big part of being submissive is letting someone else decide.


12. Would you rather be spanked with pants up/skirt down or pants down/skirt up? I like the progression of a gradual unveiling.


13. Would you rather be spanked with panties up or panties down? Same


14. Would you rather be spanked somewhat clothed or entirely naked? Both have their place, sometimes even within the same session.


15. Would you rather your spanking be strictly disciplinarian or sexually attractive in nature? All spankings, regardless of purpose, are sexual for us.


16. Would you rather be spanked by a male or by a female? Male, and one particular male at that.


17. Would you rather be cuddled or scolded after your spanking? Cuddled, of course.


18. Would you rather be spanked OTK or bent over a table/chair? Either is fine, but I bend over where I'm instructed. It heightens that whole delicious feeling of submission to allow my husband to spank me as he pleases.


19. Would you rather your spanker have physical contact with you? Yes, absolutely!


20. Would you prefer to be spanked in the woods with a tree branch, bent over the hood of a car, or in a school with a ruler bent over the desk of your teacher/principal? Each of them has it's own appeal, but the teacher roleplay is a classic.


21. Would you rather be a brat to your spanker to deserve a spanking or simply ask your spanker for a spanking because you know you needed it? I don't brat. It's not my style. I sometimes ask, but more often, Randy takes the lead on his own.


22. Have you received a spanking in the past week? Happily, I have.


23. Would you rather be spanked for the physical pleasure or the emotional release? I think they go hand in hand.


24. Would you rather tell your best friends you enjoy be spanked or keep it secret? Unless I know they are spankos, secret it must be.


25. Would you rather spanking be a lifestyle choice or just something you dabble in? I've written over 1,100 posts on the subject. I think that qualifies as a lifestyle.


26. Would you rather your lover be a vanilla or a spankoholic too? My lover is a spanko and I am grateful every day.


27. Would you rather be spanked by a stranger or by someone who knew you well? One particular someone who knows me really, really well. :)


28. Would you rather be spanked by despotic, mean person or by a compassionate, benevolent person? How about a compassionate and benevolent man who can act mean and despotic when the situation calls for it?


29. Would you rather be talked to while you are spanked or no talking at all? I love that talk. We recorded some of Randy's spanker monologue. Watch for it in a future post as soon as I get time to transcribe it.


30. Would you rather get one swat at a time with pauses to let the sting set in or a continuous tanning to build up the fire? I usually get a combination of both. Each has its place.


31. Would you rather be forced into a spanking or willingly submit into a spanking? I'll submit. I know the benefits outweigh the temporary discomfort of having a sore bottom.


32. Would you rather have a safe word or be pushed beyond your preconceived limits? I have a safeword and it is always honored, but that doesn't mean we can't push my limits sometimes.


33. Would you rather your spanker know your spanking history or is ignorance bliss? Randy IS my spanking history.


34. Would you rather be spanked by multiple people at one time or just by one person at one time? Just one.


35. Would you rather be spanked once a day or once every few months? One a day is probably too often for any extended period of time, but the other option would be unbearable.


36. Would you rather your spanker be deeply in tune or be totally unaffected to your experience as a spankee? I prefer a beautiful harmony.


37. Would you rather a closer physical relationship or a closer emotional relationship with your spanker? I need both.


38. Would you rather your spanker ice your bottom down after a spanking or send you to the corner to display his/her accomplishment? It's all good.


39. Would you rather your spanker be the person you wish to live the rest of your life with (i.e. marriage) or the person you can call on when your tushy tickles? My spanker is my husband and I cannot imagine a better arrangement.


40. Would you rather spanking be a part of love making or not a part of love making? Oh, yes. Spanking and lovemaking each make the other more enjoyable.


41. Would you rather your spanker have total control over you when you are being spanked or do you still want to have some control while you are being spanked? He can have control. If I need to bail out (a very rare occurrence, but it has happened), I have my safeword.


42. Would you rather be humiliated or respected during your spanking? While I think every human deserves a degree of basic respect, neither of those words describe how I wish to feel during a spanking. I want to feel loved, cared for, submissive, and connected.


43. Would you rather spanking become part of a bigger BDSM alternative lifestyle or spanking just be spanking for spanking sake? We're spankos. We sometimes spice up our play with some of the milder elements of BDSM, that doesn't change who we are.


44. Would you rather be filmed during a spanking to share your exhibitionist naughtiness or are you too modest to show your bum to the world? That wouldn't be our thing, though I have great respect and appreciation for those who do record and share their spankings.


45. Would you rather your spanking be gentle and gradual or painful and abrupt? It depends upon the spanking.


46. Would you rather be defiant or fearful going into a spanking? It's rare that I am either.


47. Would you rather be spanked exclusively in your own bedroom or anyplace else other than your own bedroom? Wherever we can clear a space!


48. Would you rather be spanked exclusively on your bottom or other places could be interesting too? I would prefer that he stick to spanking my bottom, but Randy sometimes likes to venture down onto my upper thighs where I'm not quite so well padded (ouch!)


49. Would you rather a spanking be a surprise or be something you have to look forward to? I look forward to Randy's surprises.


50. Would you rather spanking be a part of role playing kinkiness or a response to events that have happened in reality? Both, I think. We don't do discipline, per se, but real events will sometimes cause me to need a stress relief type of spanking. As for play, we live for those!

Potpourri II

OK, so after nearly four years of crisp, single purpose posts, I've adopted a rambling, conversational tone. Maybe it's hormones. I have no idea.

Anyhow, our vacation a couple of weeks ago was great. We had a lot of fun going to the theater, enjoying fine dining, sightseeing, and celebrating the percussive arts. Randy arranged for an end unit in our hotel, hoping for some extra privacy. Even so, the placement of our room did little to muffle all of the noise we made. My dear husband decided that he wanted to pack and wield a wooden paddle! Not only did our frequent spankings leave my poor bottom in an inflamed state, I have no doubt that the unmistakable smack of wood striking flesh traveled well beyond the confines of our suite. Fortunately, no one cared enough to complain.

Randy likes to fully utilize a new play space. That means swats over the luggage rack, intercourse on the desk, and making out under the shower-massage. His creativity keeps things lively to say the least. All of this sexy fun leaves me in a mindset where I just want more and more. That's what we call a getaway.

While we were away, I came to an interesting realization. I have had the good fortune to meet hundreds of women (and quite a few men as well) who told me that they have a lifelong interest in being spanked. Most were very eager to experience their first adult spanking. For anyone who reads this blog, that part shouldn't be particularly remarkable.

What is remarkable, though, is that I cannot recall a single case when someone came back and said, “You know, we tried it and spanking is just not for me.” I know of one D/s couple who dropped spanking because it didn't work for them, but that was never their focus. How odd is it that virtually everyone who thinks they are going to like being spanked actually does? I would think that some people might be turned off by the pain. But if that happens, it isn't often. Sure, people say, “It hurt more than I expected,” or “I wasn't quite ready for the pain.” But they always seem to regain their resolve and bend over again.

So what can we conclude from this non-scientific sample? I think that if you have a strong and long-standing spanking interest, then exploring it in real life is likely to intensify your desire. Secondly, the pain aspect is probably not as much an obstacle as it might seem. So if you're waiting and wondering about your own carefully concealed spanking interest, it might be worth your while to share it with someone who can help you live your dream.

When I was preparing the recent In with the New post, I came across a blog that made me think, but not in a good way. This blog consisted of dozens of quality spanking photographs. I recognized many of the shots and models. Several of my friends were among them. There was no attempt at attribution nor any acknowledgment that citation was expected. The photographs were filched, plain and simple.

I get the same feeling when I find someone has republished one of my articles without credit. This practice really bugs me. How hard is it to say the picture or text came from xyz blog or web site and provide a link? Most bloggers welcome an occasional reference when it's done properly. Just don't try to make money by passing off our free content as your own. Grrrr.

Speaking of blogs, MBS reached an important milestone recently. We now have 300 spanking blog links! If you haven't gone exploring lately, I encourage you to give it a try. Some of the old favorites are better than ever, many of the new ones are innovative and fun, and some good friends are posting again. Never before has our community had so much quality and diversity.

I'm always on the lookout for great new spanko blogs. Have you seen any that I haven't found yet?

In answering a reader question, I had occasion to re-examine some of my old posts. It's fun to relive those adventures. In the process, I discovered an added bonus. Many of the stories have comments that readers left long after the story was posted. I don't make a habit of rechecking my 1100+ posts after the first week or so.

I has happy to read those comments, but sad I didn't acknowledge them at the time. If you really want to comment on an old post, I won't try to dissuade you. But if you want me to read your words, you may want to comment on a current post, or send me an e-mail.

I've become fairly comfortable here in cyberspace. I can do pretty much whatever I need to do, with one exception. I have an aversion to chatting/IMing/texting. It's just not my medium of choice. As a writer and a mother, I am troubled that we've raised an entire generation who sees nothing wrong with “howRU goodMe2 b here l8r4Ur txt?” It looks like a dropout's ransom note. Even if I were to master the newspeak vernacular, my poor brain can't keep up with six conversations at once.

Against my better judgment, I sometimes let people drag me into messaging on Spankolife or MySpace. Most of the conversations are friendly exchanges of pleasantries. I like making contact with readers, even when it's in that strange world.

The other morning, before I was even fully awake, one IMer told that he thought I was a GILF. I almost spat tea on the screen! GILF? How funny is that? Perhaps I should be offended, but I wasn't. Randy had a good chuckle as well.

Our friend Pixie is promoting her Cause for Paws again this year. She and her friend, Lily Anna, are going to demonstrate their commitment by accepting spankings based upon how much money is contributed. Whether you love animals or just think Pixie looks adorable with a bright red bottom, I hope you'll support her in this worthy effort.

Here's a fun question. Do you ever wish you could take the place of someone in a spanking video, either commercial or amateur? If so, who would it be and in which scene?

When I watch a spanking video, I often identify with the spankee and imagine what she must be thinking and feeling. Here's a fun spanking I'd love to receive. The spankee is a woman named Sarah and she does an admirable job of filming her own spanking. You have to be a member of Spankolife to watch, but it's really easy to join.

That's it and I hope you get everything you deserve!

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Aug 16

Our topic this time was spices we add to enhance our spanking experiences. Here are your spices.

Hermione: Well, our spankings do happen to be mostly swatting someone's bottom – mine. But in between sets of swats, I get some very nice rubbing, both on my bottom and in more intimate areas. The break is welcome, and it keeps me guessing whether there will be more spanking or if Ron is moving along to another activity. Sometimes, the caressing goes on for so long that I assume the spanking is over, then whack! More swats, and I have to shift mental gears in a hurry. There's never a dull moment during a spanking.

Ms. Cassandra (Sandy) Park: I can't just have a spanking. I need some control, as well. And I do like when Rad punishes me for something "real," like going to bed too late, or, worse, leaving the house late in the morning.

Handsdown: My husband and I are new into this, but the way we actually got started was in the bedroom. He loves anal play – I don't. So, one day I just told him that in order to get what he wanted, he had to spank me until I agreed to it. Let me tell you, I didn’t cave easy, even for a first time. I really don't like anal. My bottom was well reddened before I conceded. It was wonderful for both of us. Afterward, I whispered into his ear, "See, you can get whatever you want, if you spank me hard enough first."

Other than that, we like taking little strolls together down the kitchen gadget isle, and sometimes even in the hardware department for thrills, ideas and toys. It can get the juices flowing, and I don't mean for flipping flapjacks. LOL

Red: Every once in a while, we generate two calendars for the month. These are based on a random number generator service (we use random.org). A roll of the dice determines how many days are at risk. Calendars are compared every morning. If both indicate a spanking day, pants go down immediately and then as many times as directed for the day.

If not, oh well... Maybe something else will happen. We do have fun with it. We hope you will too!

Greenwoman: I haven't had only one partner over the years, so there are a variety of approaches shared with me surrounding a spanking. With one of my spanking partners, a spanking was foreplay before moving on to other things. It was a very focused activity. It's all we did until we were done and then we moved on while the heat was in my skin.

With other partners, it was a spice added to Tantra or to normal sex play. Often more than one each time intimacy was shared.

Sometimes, it has included various forms of bondage. Sometimes, it's OTK, which brings a very specific head space to things. Sometimes, there's role playing involved such as Daddy/lil girl stuff.

And sometimes, it's just used to remind me about who is in charge or as a reward for pleasing a partner in some particular way... because I do love spanking. It's a terrific reward for me.

Jean Marie: Role playing for us is very big and came immediately to mind when I read the question. I'm a teacher in real life, so to switch roles and be the naughty student called before the principal is very sexy for me. I've also been the cheerleader punished by the coach, a patient with her doctor, harem girl with pasha, captive wench with a pirate... We've done bondage on occasion and anal play often. We've experimented with ginger figging. Talk about spicy! God, I hate it at the time and love it afterward.

Maryann: A lot of our spanking play happens verbally as we are long distance from each other. I act sassy and get in trouble a lot between visits. Then I pay the piper when he arrives. Yikes!

Ronnie: Spanking, like many enjoyable pursuits including sex, has an obvious repetitive aspect. This is especially true in long term relationships and it does take a bit of thought from both sides to keep it fun.

I like the change of location, especially on trips, or a change of implement or how it's applied. Best of all, I like the real situation spankings when they occur naturally, not just as starters or desserts with other hanky panky. Or should that be spanky?

Luna: Master likes to make me count, and while I've not done it yet, I'm afraid of the 'Chicago count'. For those that don't know, that's keeping a count on each cheek, so if your Top switches you have to remember the count separately. Ugh.

Master's favorite technique to spice things up is the smack and pinch. After each set of spanks he pinches or scratches my ass. It's quite a strong sensation.

Heartzlady: His hand landing on my bottom is just the beginning of a spanking for us. Between us, we have a lot of implements in our 'war chests' and at least three or four get used each time. When he just dumps them all on the foot of the bed, I know things are about to get very ouchy on my end (pun fully intended LOL)!

His hand always opens and ends a spanking... and sometimes more than that. ;)

Lu: My partner and I are rather new to this, but we are very open with each other about what we like. For us, it is strictly erotic at this point. We are also long distance, so we get each other pretty worked up, by texts mostly, right before we see each other. We share different scenarios and he always promises that he has something in store for me. That in itself is a great precursor.

One of our favorite things seems to be dress up. For example, the last time he was in town, I put on a fashion show for him, complete with roller skates. There was great music, pictures, and short skirts. I saved his favorite outfit for last (I knew he would pick it) and yes, as soon as I emerged, it took about three minutes and he ready to spank my bottom... which he did. It was fabulous fun. We like dress up and occasionally look for new outfits. I am sure this will eventually lead to more elaborate role play. But like I said, we are new to this. We really just try to have fun with it and tease each other as much as possible. That drives us both wild!

Welcome, Lu, and thanks for sharing your experiences. They sound like great fun.

Marie: Max always holds me the same way and lifts me onto his lap for a hug afterward, whether it was punishment or just plain fun. And before I get over his lap, he always reaches out to take my left wrist to "help" me over. Little things like that make a spanking from him different from a spanking from others.

It's great to see you again, Marie. I'm glad you're back!

Bonnie: When it comes to spanking, Randy has more spices than a gourmet convention. He delights in mixing things up and doing what I least expect. Most of the time, I love his surprises. Even when I don't, we usually get a laugh.

Here are ten kinds of spice we enjoy with our spankings.

1. Roleplay / dress up


2. Restraint


3. New locations or situations


4. Varying positions


5. New toys / pervertables


6. Altering the sequence / intensity


7. The spanker's running commentary


8. Counting / concentration games


9. Water / oils / lotions


10. Do I even need to say it? Lovemaking!

These are the spices that make a hot spanking even hotter for us.

Thank you to everyone who shared their favorite spices. There are plenty of great ideas worth trying at home. I hope to see you all again next weekend.

MBS Spanko Brunch #187

I hope you are prepared to have some fun this week because our topic promises to be a classic. Thanks go to T for suggesting it.

We all know that spanking can be a lot more than just swatting someone's bottom. How do you and your partner add spice to your spanking experiences? Have you a secret technique or activity that you can share?

If you would like to offer your favorite spanking suggestions (and I really hope you will!), please enter them in the form of a comment below. Once everyone has had a fair change to answer, I will post an edited summary.

Ask Bonnie

As the title suggests, Ask Bonnie is where I take reader questions and attempt to answer them as best I can. As you shall see, some are practical, some are fun, some are frivolous, and some are simply bizarre. Let's take a peek...

Question: Are you still a naughty little girl who needs the odd caning?

Response: In truth, I’m nice a lot more than I’m naughty and I am decades removed from being a little girl. With that said, if I am to be caned, I would prefer that it be even.

Question: Will you link my blog?

Response: I’ve been over this one before, but it’s a common question, so we can run through it again. I try to include all spanking-related blogs, except those that are (a) primarily commercial, (b) offensive or exploitative (based upon my definition), (c) spam blogs, (d) lacking meaningful content, or (e) depicting or advocating the spanking of children or any non-consenting person.

I generally delete links to blogs that have been dormant for two months or immediately if they go dark.

Question: You stated in your [July 4th] post that you used your freedom to "choose to be submissive". That statement stopped me dead in my tracks. I do not feel as though I made a choice. Yielding to the desire to be submissive in a spanking relationship seems to be more an inherent part of who I am than a choice I made. Am I reading too much into this?

Response: I agree we have relatively little control over our urges and preferences. However, we choose which of those we express and indulge. Were I not comfortable with myself and with my husband, my submissive side might have remained repressed.

Question: I had left a comment on your latest brunch, but you didn't post it. I was just wondering why...

Response: I reserve the right to edit brunch comments for brevity and relevance. In this case, however, I never saw this devoted reader’s comment. She encountered an intermittent problem with Blogger where comments are, for whatever reason, not posted. My advice to everyone who leaves comments in Blogger is (1) login before you enter comments, and (2) check to ensure your comment was actually posted. It really bothers me when people take the time to leave a comment, it gets lost, and then they wonder whether I was snubbing them. Believe me, folks, I am pleased to have you as readers and I welcome your feedback.

Question: Are you a women?

Response: I am female, but there’s just one of me.

Question: Your influence in the blogging world is amazing.

Response: Thank you. I enjoy helping people and making friends in our little corner of the blogosphere. But this community is an amazing collection of talented and inspired individuals (who just happen to be fascinated with adult spanking). I am proud to count myself among them.

Statement: I Love Your Profile Picture

Response: Thanks. I hope you will enjoy my blog as well.

Question: uhave a great ass, what si ur id in msn or yahoo mesenger

Response: My “ass” doesn’t know how to instant message.

Exclamation: HI WEB SITE

Response: I guess some people may think of me as being synonymous with my blog, but I actually go many places without it.

Question: what is ur yahoo or msn messenger id

Response: What ever happened to “Hello?”

Comment: Sexy jeans and what's inside it

Response: I don’t believe I’ve showed what’s inside to anyone on the Internet, but thanks anyway.

Comment: I don't spank jeans!

Response: I never tell readers who or what they should spank.

Comment: I just had to tell you what a beautiful, spankable bottom you have.

Response: Thanks.

Question: I’ll bet Randy uses a buttplug on you all the time right?

Response: We do own one and it does get used, but it’s more of a special occasion sort of toy.

Question: Do you have any advice for apartment spankers? We're in a house with paper thin walls.

Response: We did a brunch on the topic of low noise spankings. I hope you will find the suggestions to be useful. If not, please write back and we can try some other ideas.

Greeting?: Sexy ass baby

Response: Anyone who has ever spent any time with a baby knows that sexy they are not.

Question: Hey, how are you?

Response: Hey, I'm fine.

Question: I'm confused about domestic discipline. I don't think either of us (my husband and me) would be happy in this type of arrangement. Getting spanked really arouses me, and I wouldn't want it for anything else.

Response: I don't think you are confused at all. At least what you said makes perfect sense to me. If you know that DD and/or punishment won't work for you or doesn't interest you, then by all means, don't do it.

If you enjoy spankings, then you should practice them. Anything else you choose to add into the mix should enhance your experience. If it doesn't, then you can move on and try something different. The only two people whose opinions matter are you and your husband. If it works for you, then it's right!

Question: When are you going to show us another pic w visible panty lines?

Response: I will see what I can do.

Question: Which are your top ten spanking blogs?

Response: I probably have several different top ten lists. There are my ten favorite bloggers, the ten most successful blogs, the ten best for original fiction, ten best for real life blogging, etc. There are so many great ones that naming just ten would be an injustice to many more I didn't name.

Question: Does lotion applied to the bottom help to protect it?

Response: Yes, I believe it does. It helps the skin stay moisturized and elastic. Besides, when one's lover does the application, it frequently leads to other forms of recreation!

Question: when are we going to chat? I have been waiting to chat with you. Please send me a message?

Response: I recognize that you said “please” and I appreciate that. But this request sounds a whole lot like a order. You'll get a more receptive response if you speak like a gentleman.

Statement: What a Great Picture....Would like to exchane emails with you.

Response: Thanks. If you want me to write back, please tell me a little something about yourself and/or why you want to converse with me.

Question: How often do you and Randy play hard?

Response: That's hard to say really. There is a continuum between love pats and scorchers. Different spankings fall all along that line. Friday evening is our regularly scheduled play night and that's usually our best session of the week. But even then, the spankings can vary a lot in style, intensity, and tone.

I guess that's about it for this time. Stay tuned for more spanko blogging.

In with the New: Back to School Edition

Late summer brings the annual harvest of nature's bounty. Happily, we have a bumper crop of eleven young spanking-oriented blogs. I hope you will visit and explore these blogs. If you like what you find, a comment to that effect will be beneficial for the blog, the blogger, and our whole community. I encourage MBS readers to welcome these newcomers and demonstrate our hospitality.

Adult Spanking Scene Always, Completely, Forever Amber's World Communication is the Key Doonstar Flaggelant Speaks Ma'am Yes Ma'am O n' K Quest Five Richard Gets Spanked The Daily Toast

Welcome to all of you! I hope your blogging experiences will be enlightening and enjoyable.

If anyone knows of any other excellent new blogs that relate to adult spanking and related topics, I would love to hear about them.

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for August 9

Our topic of the week was spanking pain and the role it plays in a fulfilling spanking experience. Here are your thoughts.

Angie: It very much depends on my mood at the time. I like my good girl spankings, everything from soft little pats, to well, much 'stricter' play.

Sometimes, I'm in the mood for how a wood paddle, brush or spoon feels. And yes, they all have their unique feel. Or maybe I crave leather, such as the delicious London Tanner boudoir paddle. Oh yum! Or maybe it should be the scary tawse.

But yes, often the pain that comes with the spanking is a big part of it. I like knowing it's not in my control and that once it's started, that all I can do is take it...

Daisychain: On a percentage basis, I would say that being out of control is 50%, the pain is 30%, and the resulting humiliation of submitting is 20%. This is because without the pain,which I cannot control, I would be smirking and feeling IN CONTROL! So the pain is there to say to my headspace, "Shit, this freakin hurts and I can't stop it hurting!" I then HAVE to submit to Davey's authority, which is humiliating because I am a strong, VERY independent woman in all ways' So it's incredibly mindblowing and sexy to have to admit he has control, and none of this would happen without him TAKING control in the first place!

Hermione: Is it really the pain of spanking that arouses me? I don't think so. A hug that goes on to include a couple dozen pats on my clothed bottom will get my juices flowing. So will six noisy but harmless swats mixed in with other forms of foreplay. But there's more to it than that for me.

During a spanking I want to really feel pain. I crave it. Being able to suffer, to endure it and to emerge on the other side is an emotional achievement. As a spanking progresses, I feel the pain less, or I am less aware of it. I love the unexpected sharpness of what Ron calls "misfires." That's a swat that lands too high, or the impact of a paddle held at the wrong angle. They make me gasp and hope for more. Ron usually ends with an extra effort that leaves me feeling that I have had enough, but not too much. Feeling the afterglow the next day is always a special secret that I carry with me, and no one ever suspects what I have endured.

Meg: We don't do punishment, so I can't speak to that. However, our erotic sessions sometimes get very intense, with the impact of the paddle probably approaching that of punishment. So I can speak of the pain. He has me wait and pats me softly, sometimes for ten seconds or more after I'm in position, then spaces the swats perfectly, allowing the sensation of each to come in three waves: the initial slap and sting, the numbness that follows, and then the burning surge that follows. Each stage, from the starting anticipation through the post-numbness burn, provides its own kind of arousal for me. I suppose the next-to-best is the anticipation, when the adrenalin starts to flow. The best is the big burn that starts on my backside, focuses "down there," then sweeps down to my toes and up to the top of my head. After going through that several times, I'm ready for the real action, so I take him down even though he's twice my size!

Prefectdt: It is enduring the pain that brings on the "I can take it" adrenaline rush and eventually the release of the endorphins and that sweet high. In short, without the pain, there is no gain.

As a male spankee, I do have to watch out for the ever present male ego. There are two pain limits. The tolerance limit is always the same. In contrast, the pleasure limit can vary due to mood, physical condition and so many other factors. It is always a struggle not to let the ego get in the way and go for the tolerance limit, just to show off what you can take.

Saffron: For me, I love spanking, be it hard or soft, and of course the related sensual play. It's so fun! But I will say this. If there is no pain, it can be kind of boring. A very nice man spanked me not so long ago. It was so gentle that I could have fallen asleep. That's just not right for me. I love the unexpected sharpness. There are times when a nice moderate hand spanking is great, like a massage really, but a single unexpected sharp swat makes it all the better. I don't yet give up total control because I have not found someone I can do that with yet. I am not spanked by someone with whom I am in a relationship, but I certainly do give up control. I like it when they take control, whilst in my situation, respecting my withholding of control.

Pain is a big part of it, as are mindset and trust. Hugely.

Jean Marie: This is something I've struggled with. For a long time, I felt that I loved spankings afterward, but hated the act itself because of the intense pain. I often needed to be spanked, but detested it. Those that have addressed this so far have eloquently articulated the conundrum. It has to hurt. Reading the previous postings has been very therapeutic for me. Thanks, Bonnie, and all who spoke.

Tiggs: I hate pain, yet I often consider myself a true pain slut in the deepest sense of the word when I am in the RIGHT frame of mind for it.

So what puts me in the right frame of mind? Well, not really anything at all that Dante or anyone or anything else does or says... It truly is all about me.

I have to be feeling self-confident and open and trusting of myself enough to let someone else inside my head. And when that happens, I am capable of doing or experiencing just about anything!

And when I'm in that space, I'm not even feeling the pain. But if I were, I'd simply see it as even more of a challenge and motivation to push the envelope even farther.

Afterward, when all is said and done and the world stops floating, the things I remember most are not at all associated with pain. It's that same sense of trust and respect and vulnerability and intimacy, merging completely into one another. That's really what the whole spanking thing is all about for me anyway!

Curtis: I'm not into punishment or discipline. I like OTK hand spankings the best. What I'm into is inflicting stinging pleasure. The intensity of the sting depends on my partner and our communication. But what I want to do is either give pleasure or arousal and as a switch that's what I want also.

Scunge: I live with pain ALL the time. I have fibromyalgia. The really funny thing is spanking seems to help it. It must be the endorphins. I LOVE the pain I get from spanking. ANY of it. I'm just so glad that I found a caring and wonderful Sir. He knows me so well now and knows my limits and my bottom's limits. Though he has pushed beyond just a bit sometimes and, oh, the sensation of THAT!

Thomas: It figures that I finally make it back to a brunch, and step into a conversation where I'm really the less qualified person to comment. I guess that I'll leave this one up to Cookie. I will say that there are times, not just during our "Cookie Challenges," in which I try to test her pain tolerance. She's come a long way since I first met her two years ago, and her bottom is conditioned to handle a lot. Still, the threat of bringing out the nylon cane or our "wedding gift" paddle will keep her in line when she starts to misbehave.

I would like to comment on Scunge's reply. I have known a good number (at least five or six) of spankos with fibromyalgia. Like you, the endorphin rush helps them to control the pain from the affliction, sometimes for several days. Leelee, in particular, enjoys reaching subspace just for this reason.

Pammie: We don't do punishment spanking either, but we definitely both enjoy impact play – spanking, paddling, a bit of caning, etc.

I am not a pain slut, but I really enjoy subspace. My Man uses a moderate amount of intensity at the beginning and switches between hand spanking and different implements. This is enjoyable for both of us and helps me last longer.

If there is intense pain right at the beginning, I am tempted to use my safe word and bail early on the scene. An appropriate build-up of intensity is important because it lengthens the play time.

Tom: I have frequently referred to myself as an unrepentant spanking sadist. The "sting aspect" of spanking is central to my enjoyment of the experience of administering spankings. As I say that I am a sadist, I am really only turned on by causing pain via spanking. I would not be turned on by hitting someone on the toe with a hammer. I have pinched nipples of partners and played with nipple clamps, in that it provided them an intense stimulation that they found arousing. It really didn't do much for me other than enjoying their arousal. Were I to have spanked them though, I would have been thrilled (and usually I did).

I dislike the kind of spanking that is controlled by the bottom. If the bottom is continuously telling me how she would like it... a little harder... a little softer... a little faster... not there – lower... etc. It does nothing for me. The kind of spanking that leaves the spankee kind of slightly warm and pink and, well, just kind of tingly doesn't do it for me. I want way greater intensity and sting.

Years ago, when I was first into this, I went through a switch period particularly as I was being trained in the "how-to's" of spanking. I realized that what I find stimulating is my imagining of the sensation of my bottom partner, her pain, her emotions, her franticness and urgency to try to end the spanking or get relief. I found that being a recipient as well as a Top enhanced the intensity of my imaginings and empathy with my spankee which ratcheted up my arousal at the stinging sensations she was experiencing.

I am aging and mellowing. Particularly with my swan, I am finding that recently I am working at giving her spankings that have milder, slower, and less intensive aspects interspersed with the greater intensity I enjoy inflicting. I've developed a vastly renewed appreciation for hand spanking which for years I had viewed as just kind of wimpy. I have learned that while I want her to experience huge intense stinging sensations, if I give her periods when she can as she refers to it "catch up" with the sensations, we both wind up quite happy at the end of a spanking despite her having received an intense blistering as part of our play.

Anyway, I would have to concur that, "it don't mean a thing if it ain't got that sting."

MissyH: I feel exactly the same way as Tiggs: "Afterward, when all is said and done and the world stops floating, the things I remember most are not at all associated with pain. It's that same sense of trust and respect and vulnerability and intimacy, merging completely into one another. That's really what the whole spanking thing is all about for me anyway."

Handsdown: For me, the arousal comes from the sting, and our spanking sessions are all about sex. Actually, if he wants certain things in the bedroom, he has to spank me long and hard enough to get me to agree to them. He's doesn’t get there (especially if he wants anal play, which isn’t my favorite thing) until my bottom is all red and stingy.

I'm not into extreme pain, however. I haven't had a punishment spanking since I was 12, and they were actually beatings. So the idea of a punishment spanking, at least at this point, doesn't activate my sensors at all.

My best stingy zone comes from a nice hard OTK hand spanking, followed by a short paddle or leather belt/strap. I absolutely love that. I think that’s why I like Thomas’ spanking videos so much. He usually starts with a delicious OTK hand spanking. Of course, he goes at Cookie with much more force than I could stand. Cookie is amazing. For me, a little bruising is fine, but no welts, blisters or broken skin. I'm diabetic and that's just too much for me.

Canes and heavy paddles scare me to death right now. The site of one approaching my bottom would make me scream my safe word before it ever struck.

Bonnie: I sort of gave away my answer in the way I phrased the question. Spanking pain is the key that unlocks a treasury of positive emotions and experiences for me. We don't spank because of the key, but because of all that lies beyond the lock. Were there a way to open the lock without all that pain, I'm sure we would explore it. But as far as I know, there is no spanko skeleton key.

Most of the time, I don't mind getting and having a sore bottom because over the years, I have come to associate that sensation with a cornucopia of happiness and pleasure. When Randy instructs me to bend over, I know it's going to hurt. But once we get into it, that somehow doesn't matter so much. And afterward, any residual ouch is a huge turn-on.

Thank you all for joining us for brunch. I look forward to seeing you again next week!

MBS Spanko Brunch #186

Welcome back to our weekly discussion. Thanks go to Hermione for filling in so ably while we were on vacation last week.

Our topic this time can be summarized by this slightly corrupted mantra:

"It don't mean a thing if it ain't got that sting."

For most of us, the pain of a spanking is not the primary objective, but rather the means to an end (pun intended). But without the pain, it's not even a spanking and none of the associated benefits are realized.

For you and/or your partner, what role does pain play in unlocking the magic of spanking?

To participate in our conversation, just enter a comment below. Once everyone has had a chance to speak, I will post an edited summary.

MBS Spanko Brunch #185

This week's brunch is being hosted by our good friend Hermione. I encourage everyone to stop by and see what she has cooking.

We'll be back here again next weekend. Until then, may summer's heat warm your, um, heart! :D