Our topic of the week was preparations or rituals that take place immediately prior to a spanking. Here are your insights.
Hermione: I wrote about our favourite ritual on my blog here. It enhances our experience by making us laugh, and that's the best way to start a spanking.
Love4her: My spankings have been pretty limited, but the few I have been blessed with included a few "givens." At bedtime, she will take special care to wear panties and a bra that she knows make me crave her more than usual. She will also start in an open robe and heels that frame her lovely feet.
The spankings are brief and do not approach any limit I may have, though I wish she could find it in herself to explore that. I really crave and long to submit to her loving and authoritative tone. A voiceless spanking without that would be pointless. It would be a beating in my book.
A brief "talking to" about whatever she feels brought on the need for discipline is followed by twenty or so playful swats with the wooden spoon. Then I must kiss the heels, toes, and arches. Things work upwards from there to ensure her complete satisfaction.
Spnk MeRed: It isn't a big drawn out ritual (although sometimes it feels that way). The old man will instruct me to get into the spanking position and I have to stay there and wait while he walks around getting any tools he wishes to use. I swear he walks at half his normal pace during this time
Keagen: There is not a set ritual as much as a process. When I'm about to get a disciplinary spanking, I'll hear the phrase, "We've got a couple things to address." My wrist will be seized, and I'll be taken to wherever the spanking is going to be given. I'm never allowed to walk there on my own. I'm always taken. It starts to set the mindframe, "I'm not longer in control, or in charge." Once there, he'll sit down, and pull me into his lap. He'll cradle me close, and we'll talk. His goal is always to understand why I acted as I did, and to make sure that *I* understand why I'm going to be put over his knee.
After this, he'll guide me in front of him. Once again, I'm not allowed to move myself. I'm guided. He'll look me straight in the eyes, and require that I maintain eye contact, as he undoes my belt, and takes my pants and panties all the way down, and sometimes off. He'll pull me close for a hug, and then, he'll throw me over his knee. I'm permitted to keep my hands to myself, until I get them in the way, at which point I'm required to submissively fold them behind my back. That's a process that I hate. With that, and the leg-lock that often follows, I lose all remaining vestiges of control.
Sting Me: My Sir believes in corner time. I have to put on my jammies and he leads me to the corner where my jammies are lowered to the floor or totally removed. I have to put them back on and am taken by the elbow or if very naughty by the ear to where the spanking will happen. Then we have the ritual questions and spanks. He asks my name and whose subby am I. I respond that, “I am your subby, Master,” and receive one hand spank. He asks if I have been a naughty girl. I tell him, “Yes, Master, I have been a naughty girl,” and then receive two more hand spanks. Finally, he asks whether I have been a very naughty girl. I tell him, “Yes, Master,” and receive three spanks.
Sometimes this is over the jammies, but Master believes it doesn't count as a real spanking unless it's on the bare. Then my spanking begins in earnest. I am often required to rise and fetch whichever implement he wants to use next and return the previous one to its place. This can happen as many as seven times during one spanking. We always finish me up with another good, hard hand spanking.
K: We put the kids to bed first. If we still have any energy left, we get busy. That's about the only ritual part of the activities. After that, it's whatever we feel like at the time. Some nights there are fireworks. Others, there are warm swats and cuddles. It's all good.
T: If the spanking is just because, he takes the time to rub my behind every five swats or so and again when we are finished. The swats are almost always accompanied by a light kiss on each behind cheek.
However, if the spanking is a result of discipline, there is no rubbing or kissing at all. Just the feeling of hard, heart pounding, serious-feeling swats and the instruction to clean myself up and reflect on my wrong doings. I must also tell him why the spanking occurred.
Thank you, T, for joining us for brunch.
Jean Marie: Not always, not even very often, but every once in a while he'll sit me on the bed next to him and lovingly brush my hair back, then put it in a ponytail with a ribbon. This is to keep it out of my eyes, so he can see my face wince. He then puts me over his knee and uses that hairbrush on my other end. This ritual builds such anticipation.
Daisy: I get a maintenance spanking on alternate day. (It used to be daily, but I have been behaving, so he has made it alternate days for now). I am instructed to fetch the paddle, and strip. He uses a stern voice to lecture before the spanking begins.
I get ten swats to each cheek, then fifteen, and then, sometimes another twenty. Then I get five to ten stings, and more if I have been rude or disrespectful.
Spanky: At first, I didn't think we did. But after thinking about it, I realize that we do have separate rituals for both erotic and discipline spankings. These rituals are completely different from each other by necessity, and have evolved over time. We don't always adhere to them, but the vast majority of the time we do, because they're fun (well, at least the erotic ones are!).
I won't bore you with the details, because what works for us might not work for anyone else. I think everyone will develop the rituals that are right for them if they need to do so, especially if there is good communication.
Spanky, I have it on good authority that several of the rituals that you and Kallisto share are definitely NOT boring.
Spank-A-Lot: It depends on what kind of spanking it is. For maintenance, it's in the corner with her hands folded behind her and the hairbrush in her hands. For discipline, it's largely the same but without the hairbrush, bared bottom, and a scolding before it starts. For good girl spankings, a kind of informal ritual is a loving bottom rub that I give her. :)
Penfold: For play, Bear and I don't really have a ritual, but we always have a good time and I remember it for the rest of the day or evening. Our DD has some rituals. If I'm driving up to see Bear, and we are on Bluetooth, soon before I reach him, the verbal discipline begins. I also have to have a few minutes of silence. The radio or any form of music cannot be on in the background on the journey, and if it is, then that gets more spanks. When I arrive, Bear is there either at the door or waiting in the hall for me. I'm taken into either the bedroom or the living room. That's when the final part of the verbal discipline happens. He often hugs me to give me a little love and reassurance. Then the spanking begins, usually over his knee, but sometimes over the arm of the chair. Finally, I am let up for hugs and love on his lap.
Anon VII: Our ritual is usually rather short and focuses on positioning, admonitions about holding position and penalty swats for breaking position, and a wait of half a minute or more for the first pop. During the wait, I pat her bottom with the paddle and often place light strokes there and along the backs of the thighs. Sometimes, I pull the paddle away and let her think the first swat is coming, and then to do a few more pats, strokes, or both. She loves the adrenalin build-up from the wait that's never exactly the same twice in a row. The anticipation and uncertainty build tremendous arousal as well as tension, and the first impact provides a huge release for her.
Sandy: I think the play that Rad and I do is more of the snatch and grab type. We don't have a DD relationship, although he occasionally enforces bedtime. It's funny how he delays my bedtime even further by insisting upon putting me over his knee...
But rituals? Not really. The closest I can think of is when he sometimes tells me to get into the bedroom, stretch out across the bed and wait for him. Those times, I can expect a more severe punishment than normal.
Heartzlady: All spankings for us start the same way. I get asked, "Why are you getting spanked?" The answer is, "Because you love me. Because I love you. Because I'm worthy of you loving me and taking care of me."
This exchange never lets me forget that no matter whether it's for 'consequences' or 'just because,' it's always for the same reasons. :)
Anon: Because my husband follows punishment spankings by rubbing skin lotion into my abused bottom, one time I just got the pump bottle and put it within his reach before crawling over his knee for my punishment. Well, apparently because (in his words) he "likes to see my little red wagon roll away" from him after punishment, this was seen as presumptuous. He rubbed a liberal amount onto my butt before he applied the hairbrush. That was the single most painful spanking I ever got, as I told him tearfully afterward. To make up for it, he rubbed a liberal amount up my crack and into my anus. We made love with his finger deep up there, making my libido sing the Hallelujah Chorus. Sure enough, the very next time I earned punishment, he made me fetch the lotion bottle and I got spanked with a moisturized bottom, yelping and begging all the time the hairbrush did its damage. That has been the ritual ever since, I'm sorry to say.
I'm a long-time lurker who just had to share today.
Welcome, Anon!
Red: I'm required to retrieve and lay out the toys, assume the position and wait for however long it takes for her to arrive. I then have to explain why I'm being spanked (even if it's just that I haven't been spanked recently enough, whether it is just been hours or a few days).
One thing: Being caught away from the designated place and position earns me more. I'm pretty good at doing that. It's something I like to add to the ritual.
Bonnie: I wrote the following more than three years ago, but it's equally applicable today.
My thoughts and experiences with regard to rituals are well documented in this blog. I believe rituals provide a certain continuity within a relationship. That's not to say that a couple must always do things in precisely the same rote manner. Even when experimenting, though, it's nice to have those little touchstones. Rituals can provide welcome reassurance.
Variety may be the spice of life, but I would argue that comfortable familiarity is high in protein, nutrients, and anti-oxidants.
As always, thank you for sharing your thoughts!
