Welcome back, dear friends. Here's a fun question for a late summer weekend.
When and how did you first realize that your interest in adult spanking isn't unique and in fact is shared by millions of people around the world?
Anyone with an interest in our favorite subject is welcome to participate in our community brunch. There's no membership required and you don't have to register. You can even remain anonymous if that helps you to feel more comfortable. Just enter a comment below and you've joined the conversation. Once everyone has spoken, I will post an edited summary of our discussion.
31 comments :
We discovered it through the Internet, and in particular through sites such as this one. In the early days of the Net, there were stories and pictures but very little to assure those like us that we weren't oddballs. In fact, most of the early sites seemed to reinforce the view that we were, so we pretty much left them alone. We've been together for over thirty years, but its only been within the last seven or eight that we've gotten the message that we are far from alone and that our inclination is so commonplace that it's really not even a kink.
It was when my ex husband and I discovered boxes and boxes of femdom magazines left behind in a storage unit we were cleaning out.
I was shocked and thrilled all at once. I'd had no idea. Most of them were more dungeony than I was into at the time, lots of forced femme, and some real extreme stuff, but plenty of fun and interesting ideas to explore. To this day I still remember some of the stories.
Ms. Betty
It was a multistage event for me. I was well read enough to know of BDSM and just figured I was "that" - until I attended a full fledged BDSM convention and realized that it was NOT my crowd. Eventually I noticed a newsgroup devoted just to spanking and checked it out - and found my peeps. :)
It's pretty funny now, but I used the internet for years, and absolutely knew if I typed "spanking" into the box, I would find amazing things. But I couldn't make myself do it. I guess I wasn't ready to confront it in myself.
By the way, like almost everyone here, it was you, Bonnie, that made it seem okay for me. When I read your blog, I realized that it could be a fun, loving, sexy thing between two people in love. Thanks a million times over.
cheers!
Carly
Some time in the early 1970s I went in to a shop in Walkers Court, Soho, London, UK. The shop sold and indeed still sells to this day, fetish items. I bought some magazines.I responded to some of the small ads in the back of the magazines and discovered the scene that is BDSM.
(That's the short version, in reality it took a long time to get into the scene in any meaningful way)
It's easier nowadays. Just Google "BDSM" or "Spanking"
You youngsters don't know you're born... /grumpy old man!
As a child, I saw pulp fiction novels in the drugstore, similar in theme to Ms. Betty's magazines, with cover illustrations of semi-clad women cowering and bleeding as men wielded whips. While in my teens I discovered spanking stories in magazines like Penthouse Variations, before it was censored for Canadian readers. There was also the occasional spanking in National Lampoon. Then I came across paperback novels set in the Victorian era, full of spanking and sex, as well as scholarly books on S&M, B&D and spanking in my university's bookstore.
When I found your blog a year and a half ago.
Last january.
I realised i could get internet on my phone and typed spank into google.
One of the first pages that came up was Lowewood Academy (so sad its ended). I went on there and started reading. eventually i formed a friendship with Paul and he helped me take my first steps.
I got my first adult spanking in feb of this year and have not looked back since.
Hugs jay
That's easy! It was when I found your blog. Simply put, sending the link to Kallisto transformed our lives.
My first realisation that my interest in adult spanking was shared by other people happened was when I read an article on it in Forum magazine at university.
I had already experienced it with a girlfriend in my final year at school so I should have known that I was not alone then but I thought it was just the two of us that were strange.
Ken
It was a different era way before the Internet. I guess the first time I knew I wasn't alone was in the eighth grade when a music teacher tended to bring the classroom discussion about twice a week to spanking and allowed that it was "fun." There were also some of the threats that some teachers, aunts etc made that seemed to have a sexual overtone. My knowledge of an adult spanking community, I think, cam from a magazine called Mr. which had letters about spanking in every issue, occasionally an article about spanking and, in each issue, an interview with the model of the month which always included her childhood spanking experiences. I don't know how I found that magazine. Later there was Variation in penthouse and, more rarely, something in Playboy about spanking. Then there was Wicked Wanda, an adult cartoon in Penthouse which on three occasions featured spanking. There were adult book stores and they had little pamphlets-sized story books with a picture of some one being spanked on the cover. There was a store in New York, that still exists but has moved several time, called Kinematics where you could watch spanking films. But I owe my biggest debt to Eve Howard, who wrote under her own name for Stand Corrected (which started as a spanking mag) and as Lizzie Bennett for Lyndon Publications and did a turn as a spankee in Nu-West videos. But what she wrote made me comfortable in my own skin with my sexual proclivities. Then, if you wanted to hide your identity, you got yourself a P.O. Box under an assumed name, send orders for mags via money order, and made connections via ads in the magazines. Different world, more furtive, less expansive, but I never felt alone -- just often horny when I didn't have a partner.
I discovered that I was one of many when in the very early days of the Internet, I searched for spanking and got back over a hundred hits. [the www was brand new] I found a newsgroup ASS, which became SSS, and through that forum I learned my interest was not rare at all. Through that same forum we met others who shared our interests and quite a few whose interests were “more robust”.
If only MBS had been around then. In my never humble opinion, Bonnie has done more to make spanking accepted by spanking enthusiasts than any other medium.
Wonderful question Bonnie!!!...
....only for the fact that i am just back in from party-ing in the city here in Dublin ...and I am pretty tiredddd!!!
....and I should not be 'drinking'n'typing ;)
...but Let me just say one thing...and that is, I am old enough to have been turned on by all things spanking....'WAY' before the internet arrived!!!
...it is all and well that the 20 to 30 somethings who have had the internet to propel them into the wonderful world of spanking....and all of that!!....but tonight instead,I would love to raise....(another glass)....to those of the .....'Before the internet age'(BI)....who went forth with their beliefs...and spanked for all their lives were worth!!!
Cheers!! Paolo
It was 3 wonderful years ago when I joined the 21st century and finally got the internet. (I know, the kids hated me for not having it) Then I got beyond brave (for me) and Googled spanking. I discovered this wonderful blog and now know two things: 1. I'm so not alone. 2. I'm not the flaming weirdo I always thought I was while trying to suppress my spanking desires.
dieseldiva
Curtis, I envy you your music teacher; jokes about adult recreational spanking in the 8th grade! LOL
But I remember my own personal epiphany very well. I've been enthralled by spanking my entire life, but thought my interest was weird and unique to me. Then one night when I was 12 I was watching the comedy Monty Python and the Holy Grail. There's a scene where Sir Galahad wanders into a castle filled with dozens of pretty, flirtatious young women. They tease him about his hopeless quest and suggest he stay with them, and when he becomes agitated and exasperated they coyly suggest he spank them for their impertinent irreverence. At the 'magic word' they all crowd enthusiastically around him, chanting,"A spanking!" while clapping eagerly and jumping up and down. *smiles* A tad overdone, perhaps, but most welcome by one newly enlightened and oh so relieved young viewer.
I still vividly remember how at first I felt awestruck, and then serene at the realization that my dreadful, unmentionable secret was actually just a playfully joked about commonplace. Nice to learn I wasn't Jack the Ripper!
Plus, I'm an anglophile, so the acceptance and validation by a British film was especially gratifying. I did not know the term 'le vice anglais' yet, but I would soon. As my taste in books & movies grew more sophisticated, there were many more such references. But I'll always have a soft spot for Michael Palin & Company.
~MissyH
I'd fantasized a lot about it, and my current partner at the time knew of it (and thus thought I was a bit wacky). It wasn't until I found myself in an IRC chatroom my freshman year of college, that I knew I wasn't the only one thinking of such things. :)
I still have an excellent friend from that particular era.
There was relief, but I think it also scared me a bit. The idea that it could be real and not a fantasy.
Back in the 1980s, when I became tall enough to reach the adult novels, in the book shops (it's how they are stacked in the UK, so that the little kiddies cannot reach them), I found books of collections of spanking and BDSM stories amongst the vanilla titillation novels. This lead me to adult shops where I found the specialist magazines. Then I knew I was not alone in my desires and fantasies.
It was not until the advent of the internet, that I realized just how many of us that there are. Even the conservative estimates of how many pain playing kinksters there are in the world still amazes me.
Prefectdt
Oh, well, thats easy, Bonnie....right here, on your wonderful blog...and I will be grateful to you for the rest of my days for the reassurance that it is normal and acceptable and I am not alone....it gave me the courage to confide in my Davey, who looked up spanking and found himself in some serious bdsm sites, and was horrified to think I liked THAT!!!! When we chatted about it, and I realised what he thought, I gave him your site to read...he then checked out your blog for reassurance that his wife to be was not masochistic, mad or alone, and that consensual spanking was not abuse! The rest is history.... Hugs,Daisy xxxxxxxxxxxx
I grew up in England, and I fell in love with one of my teacher's, and wanted to spank her. I wanted to bend ..her over her desk, raise her dress waist high, and take down her knickers, and cane her bare bottom. While I imagained her wearing garter-belt and stockings, I wanted to give her 'six of the best' strokes of the cane.
About four months ago when I googled spanking and found this site. It opened up a whole new world to me!
I've had a life-long interest in spanking, but discovered that I wasn't alone my senior year of high school. I'd discovered spanking stories first semester, and devoured them RAPIDLY. Any site I could find, I was one happy kid. . . . . and THEN, I decided to write my senior paper on corporal punishment, in order to give me a "cover" for being on all the spanking sites. That's how I discovered the forums, and this lovely world blossomed before me. :-)
First EVER? Well, there have of course been many intermediate stages between that and where I am today, but in the mid '60s I was not quite 14, even vanilla sex was something that wasn't quite nice to know about, and you had to pretend to your parents and other adults that you'd never read any James Bond. And I got hold of a book, a fairly run-of-the-mill thriller by James Leasor called "Where the spies are".
In one scene there was a description of a consensual caning, the M being the villain, the anonymous (at that stage) f being a double-agent. And I found it quite flabbergasting!
A few extracts (quoted from a 45-year memory):
"He wondered as he so often had, who enjoyed these sessions more, the giver or the taker of pain.
"Mouth to mouth, tongues touching, he reached for the cane.
" 'So you've been naughty again', he said. 'So you need the punishment that fits the crime!'
"The cane rose and fell, and rose again...."
Pretty hot, even now!
I've read an awful lot since, and I know a lot more about it since (and even done it myself), but that was the first time I had any inkling that my strange fascination with otherwise-to-be-avoided corporal punishment might link up to sex.
Ernest
When I first started purchasing spanking mags back in the early 1970's it was a very "under-the-counter" activity and everybody was very secretive ... then before the internet came the undernet and I discovered several "groups" mostly from the Bay Area of San Francisco and communicated with them but they were more into hard-core BDSM than my particular interest in 'Le Vice Anglais' ... then of course came the internet and the glorious hey-day of the MIRC chat-rooms where I made many friends ... and now we have the blogs!
What I love about the blogosphere is that it shares the wonderful diversity of our individual tastes in the delights of spanking ... so Bottoms Up everybody and keep on blogging ... RH
i always knew that kinks existed. but i guess it is different when you are thinking abt yourself.... the internet was not around when i really realized my desires in the spanking area so i have just kept it to myself really. now that the internet is everywhere, i have always known i could search and find things, yet i never did until a few months ago. this is the site that made me feel ok abt it and made me able to share it with my partner. it also helped me to understand there is more to it than even i ever realized. once i felt ok abt it, i started exploring the rest of the community. so in short, only a few months ago.
I started with a dominatrex in my 20's and then found the Naughty Victorian and I was from that point on domestic discipline
I've had an interest in spanking ever since I saw a playboy article in the late 70s but never really pursued it or had a partner who was interested beyond the first try. I found your blog a few years ago and realized that it didn't have to have any domestic discipline overtones. That aspect had never appealed to me. It took more than a year for my husband to try after I first sugguested it. And the first several sessions were very akward. Things are getting better. When he left this morning, he told me to add to my to do list for the day "think about the spanking you're going to get tonight." How am I supposed to think about any thing else?
It was when I first saw a spanking video cover in a sex store. I was not looking for that then, but I was certainly thrilled.
Like Spanky, for me, it was when I found your blog. I decided to search "spanking"--a word I never spoke for fear that my secret desire to be spanked would be exposed. I thought I was a freak--and alone. I didn't even share my desire to be spanked with my husband for fear he would also think me a freak. I self spanked for years because the desire would not be repressed. Many may know how unsatisfying self spanking is.
Finally that search and this site gave me the fortitude to tell my husband whom, it turns out, loves to spank me. 28 years wasted on dreams and fear. Thanks for showing me the light, or should I say feeling the red. :)
I had so completely suppressed my interest in spanking for so long that I even forgot looking it up on the Internet was an option until I was doing some research for a report I was to give on corporal punishment. That's exactly what I typed into the search engine. I found way more than I bargained for. I then typed spanking in. Yours was the first blog I read. It was also the first blog my husband read. In short, Thank you!
I have two stories about this. In the first one, I was too young to understand what it meant, but it made am impression nonetheless. When I was twelve years old, one of the choices for a book report for my English class was "I Will Fear No Evil" by Robert Heinlein. I had read many of his books for adolescents and liked the independence they showed, so I chose this one. A couple hundred pages in, the main character gets spanked to orgasm for pressing her man for sex when they had some kind of a appointment to keep instead. I seriously doubt that I knew what an orgasm was, but it made a lasting impression that the spanker alternated cheeks as he spanked. So I must have understood something about the scene.
As an adult, it was actually discussions about child-rearing with friends who have kids that opened my eyes. I was quite amazed at the number of x-rated sites that popped up on my computer screen-- and at work!-- in response to my rather innocently typing "spanking" into google. I later got my own internet provider and tried the search again with a completely different objective in mind.
Fun topic, Bonnie-- I look forward to reading everyone's responses.
When I went to college, I was enrolled in an honors society that gave laptops to the eight or so members of the freshman group. This enabled us to have DSL access from our dorms. Yes! My roommate became fascinated by erotic manga. I, of course, sought out spanking sites.
This was the fall of 1996. Little was available to an eighteen year old with no funds for porn, let alone the awareness of what could be purshased. One of the first sites I found was Laura's Spanking Corner, a spanking story repository of excellent quality. I only realized a year or so ago that Abel of The Spanking Writers was one of the regular contributors to the site that aroused me eleven years ago when I was, as they say, "barely legal." I emailed him the minute I realized, "Oh my God, you were one of the writers who made me realize I wasn't completely out of my mind." That was the site that helped me understand that I was part of the grander scheme. Thank you, Laura, and thank you everyone who's enriched the lives of spankos since then. (i.e. Thank you Bonnie!!!!!)
xo,
Abby
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