Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Potpourri II

OK, so after nearly four years of crisp, single purpose posts, I've adopted a rambling, conversational tone. Maybe it's hormones. I have no idea.

Anyhow, our vacation a couple of weeks ago was great. We had a lot of fun going to the theater, enjoying fine dining, sightseeing, and celebrating the percussive arts. Randy arranged for an end unit in our hotel, hoping for some extra privacy. Even so, the placement of our room did little to muffle all of the noise we made. My dear husband decided that he wanted to pack and wield a wooden paddle! Not only did our frequent spankings leave my poor bottom in an inflamed state, I have no doubt that the unmistakable smack of wood striking flesh traveled well beyond the confines of our suite. Fortunately, no one cared enough to complain.

Randy likes to fully utilize a new play space. That means swats over the luggage rack, intercourse on the desk, and making out under the shower-massage. His creativity keeps things lively to say the least. All of this sexy fun leaves me in a mindset where I just want more and more. That's what we call a getaway.

While we were away, I came to an interesting realization. I have had the good fortune to meet hundreds of women (and quite a few men as well) who told me that they have a lifelong interest in being spanked. Most were very eager to experience their first adult spanking. For anyone who reads this blog, that part shouldn't be particularly remarkable.

What is remarkable, though, is that I cannot recall a single case when someone came back and said, “You know, we tried it and spanking is just not for me.” I know of one D/s couple who dropped spanking because it didn't work for them, but that was never their focus. How odd is it that virtually everyone who thinks they are going to like being spanked actually does? I would think that some people might be turned off by the pain. But if that happens, it isn't often. Sure, people say, “It hurt more than I expected,” or “I wasn't quite ready for the pain.” But they always seem to regain their resolve and bend over again.

So what can we conclude from this non-scientific sample? I think that if you have a strong and long-standing spanking interest, then exploring it in real life is likely to intensify your desire. Secondly, the pain aspect is probably not as much an obstacle as it might seem. So if you're waiting and wondering about your own carefully concealed spanking interest, it might be worth your while to share it with someone who can help you live your dream.

When I was preparing the recent In with the New post, I came across a blog that made me think, but not in a good way. This blog consisted of dozens of quality spanking photographs. I recognized many of the shots and models. Several of my friends were among them. There was no attempt at attribution nor any acknowledgment that citation was expected. The photographs were filched, plain and simple.

I get the same feeling when I find someone has republished one of my articles without credit. This practice really bugs me. How hard is it to say the picture or text came from xyz blog or web site and provide a link? Most bloggers welcome an occasional reference when it's done properly. Just don't try to make money by passing off our free content as your own. Grrrr.

Speaking of blogs, MBS reached an important milestone recently. We now have 300 spanking blog links! If you haven't gone exploring lately, I encourage you to give it a try. Some of the old favorites are better than ever, many of the new ones are innovative and fun, and some good friends are posting again. Never before has our community had so much quality and diversity.

I'm always on the lookout for great new spanko blogs. Have you seen any that I haven't found yet?

In answering a reader question, I had occasion to re-examine some of my old posts. It's fun to relive those adventures. In the process, I discovered an added bonus. Many of the stories have comments that readers left long after the story was posted. I don't make a habit of rechecking my 1100+ posts after the first week or so.

I has happy to read those comments, but sad I didn't acknowledge them at the time. If you really want to comment on an old post, I won't try to dissuade you. But if you want me to read your words, you may want to comment on a current post, or send me an e-mail.

I've become fairly comfortable here in cyberspace. I can do pretty much whatever I need to do, with one exception. I have an aversion to chatting/IMing/texting. It's just not my medium of choice. As a writer and a mother, I am troubled that we've raised an entire generation who sees nothing wrong with “howRU goodMe2 b here l8r4Ur txt?” It looks like a dropout's ransom note. Even if I were to master the newspeak vernacular, my poor brain can't keep up with six conversations at once.

Against my better judgment, I sometimes let people drag me into messaging on Spankolife or MySpace. Most of the conversations are friendly exchanges of pleasantries. I like making contact with readers, even when it's in that strange world.

The other morning, before I was even fully awake, one IMer told that he thought I was a GILF. I almost spat tea on the screen! GILF? How funny is that? Perhaps I should be offended, but I wasn't. Randy had a good chuckle as well.

Our friend Pixie is promoting her Cause for Paws again this year. She and her friend, Lily Anna, are going to demonstrate their commitment by accepting spankings based upon how much money is contributed. Whether you love animals or just think Pixie looks adorable with a bright red bottom, I hope you'll support her in this worthy effort.

Here's a fun question. Do you ever wish you could take the place of someone in a spanking video, either commercial or amateur? If so, who would it be and in which scene?

When I watch a spanking video, I often identify with the spankee and imagine what she must be thinking and feeling. Here's a fun spanking I'd love to receive. The spankee is a woman named Sarah and she does an admirable job of filming her own spanking. You have to be a member of Spankolife to watch, but it's really easy to join.

That's it and I hope you get everything you deserve!


Rob said...

Hi Bonnie,

Love your blog, and though I don't tend to comment much, thoroughly enjoy reading it on a regular basis.

Something in this post registered with me. You mentioned that even though it hurts, you seldom find folks saying it's not for them once they've tried spanking. I found that in my case. Once my spouse realized I was serious about this and she began to wield the paddle with more authority, I was surprised at how much it hurt, but equally determined to continue. So, while the pain does register (a lot) and there are those moments when I am OTK that I ponder "what was I thinking" we continue with the spankings. I think convincing my wife that this was more than about pain was the hardest thing for her to understand and the biggest obstacle in the beginning.

Keep up the good work.


Tiggs said...

Such a GREAT point you raise about hardly anyone, ever, not actually liking the spanking once they've dared to try it. I'd add something, too, though... try it at least once from both sides of the paddle, cause even if you are a dominant alpha male or a true Domme, or a natural submissive, EVERYONE has pieces and parts of both sides built into them. Trying it both ways just once can also give you a much better sense of the other person's feelings, emotions, vulnerabilities, etc. Besides, you might find you really didn't hate it as you thought you would... or maybe that your partner actually liked it, too. Just keep an open mind cause you never know until you dare to try it.

As for the texting stuff, I SO relate... I hate all things Tweet and text and IM, and don't do any of it. It's absolutely mindless and so intensely time-consuming... nothing about it appeals to me at all. But I know it works for lots and lots of other folks!

As to crediting pics or articles or poetry or art... well, you KNOW that I feel strongly about this. And yes, you are certainly right, most folks will happily allow their work to be borrowed, with at least a credit line and link back to their original posting of the work. Anything less is unacceptable.

Hugs for this post, Bonnie, and for all your hard work and efforts to bring everyone in our spanko corner of cyberia together collectively!

I'm VERY happy for you and Randy that you had such a spanking great vacation!

Hermione said...

Hi Bonnie,

I love your new style of posting! It's fun to read. I enjoyed hearing about your getaway, and must confess I am envious of the creative uses of a hotel room that Randy came up with.

While I would never actually want to see myself in the position of being in a spanking video, I do try to put myself in the place of the spankee when I watch, and if I can't, I stop watching. The video that comes to mind is Pixie's 2nd blogiversary spanking; that's how I want to celebrate mine.


Florida Dom said...

Bonnie: It's a shame that some bloggers steal stuff without credit. I hope that if anybody has done that and is reading your post, they'll go back and give proper credit.

And as far as people who say they're interested in spanking liking it once they try it, my feeling is that spankos are hard wired to like it. If they weren't interested, they wouldn't have those feelings in the first place. Don't know if I'm right, but that's my two cents worth.


Throck said...

Hello Bonnie,
I have to agree with your statement that exploring one's spanking interest in real life is likely to intensify one's desire. That is certainly the case with me. I'm not sure it is the case with my wife, who has spanked me a handful of times but still is not quite "into it," so to speak. My desire to experience spankings at the hand of my wife has become so intense that I have decided to de-lurk in hope of getting advice on moving the relationship forward; a big step for me.

To that end I have put up a blog at SpankableHusband.blogspot.com. I am not asking that you link to it, it is mostly omphalos staring, but I wouldn't mind your comments and criticism.

I have enjoyed your blog for several years now.


EmmaJane said...

Hmmm, I have just been introduced to proper wooden paddles, can sympathise with the inflamed bottom :)

Bonnie said...

Rob - Thanks. I've received several e-mails from readers who agree. For those of us who dream about receiving a good spanking, the pain is but a temporary obstacle.

Tiggs - Thank you. I really appreciate your support.

In all the years, Randy and I have never switched. I can't even get my head wrapped around that concept. I know he's not interested in learning about life on the wide end of the paddle. It's just not us.

As I think about this, the issue is not so much the physical act of spanking as it is the D/s aspects. When Randy instructs me to "assume the position" and I comply, that feels right. The reverse would seem like putting on one's clothing backwards.

With that said, I wouldn't for a moment argue with your success. I guess we must conclude that each couple has their own unique dynamic. As I like to say, if it works, it's right.

Hermione - I'm not sure whether my blogging style is evolving or if I'm just getting too lazy to write a complete post on each topic. Either way, in the blogging world, change is good.

I don't see myself becoming a spanking model either. That ship has definitely sailed. But it's fun sometimes to watch and imagine how it must feel for the spankee.

Are you considering a blogaversary challenge like Pixie did? As I recall, she got a much stronger response than she anticipated. But it was all good fun.

FD - Yes, I completely agree. Thanks.

Throck - Welcome! The difference, I suspect, between you (as well as most MBS readers) and your wife is that we have thought about spankings from every angle for years and she has not. This is just not a topic that ever enters the mind of most vanillas.

As people naturally do when faced with a question they had never considered, vanillas tend to be hesitant, at least at first. I believe it takes a lot of patience and love to convince a vanilla partner that spanking is not (a) crazy, (b) dangerous, or (c) disruptive to your relationship.

Some spankos succeed at converting a vanilla. Others do not. I wish you the very best in your effort.

Your blog is linked! :D

EmmaJane - Yes, the wood leaves a whole different flavor of ouch. Thanks for dropping by!

Sara said...

Bonnie, your vacation sounded wonderful. It's so nice to be able to get away like that, and you remind me how due we are!

Very interesting observation about those who fantasize about spanking, and how few don't continue once they've tried it. Maybe in part that is because spanking can be carried out so many different ways and with varied intensity, but I suspect you are onto something about the connection of consistent frequent fantasy and the fulfillment of actually doing. We don't want to do everything we fantasize about, but most things, yeah, deep down we do really want to.

Indy said...

I really enjoyed this conversational post, too. It's delightfully done and full of interesting tidbits.

I now exchange YIM messages with a few friends, I can only bring myself to type "Ur" or "L8er" on my antiquated cell phone, on which I'm hopelessly slow. Even then, it's mostly tongue-in-cheek to friends who know how silly I think it is. I am also terrible with emoticons. Oh well, I'm glad that the spanking blogosphere has brought me into the 21st century in this way. I often find myself having to hide the source of my newfound expertise in Twitter or YIM.

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