Spanking Rituals

Hello again, friends. Happy Halloween. One way to make a good spanking great is through the use of punishment rituals. Here are some of my favorites:

I reference a female bottom because that is my perspective, but feel free to replace genders as you prefer

1. Assume the Position - Spankings can be delivered to recipients situated in all sorts of positions. Some are more effective than others in terms of exposing the bottom for punishment. But our focus today is rituals. An excellent ritual is one that gets inside the spankee's mind and augments the punishment experience. When the spankee is commanded to position herself, it places her in the position of not just accepting the punishment, but actively participating.


2. Bare the Target - A bare bottom spanking hurts more and is often perceived as being more embarrassing for the spankee. The baring can be performed by either spanker or spankee and each has a different significance. Removing one's own clothes implies participation as above. Being bared by the spanker is a surrender of control. The ultimate baring is complete nudity. For me, being stripped naked foreshadows a severe punishment.


3. The Lecture - Words are powerful. When Randy tells me that I am a bad girl, I just melt. When he tells me I deserve to be punished, I regret my misdeeds and prepare myself for the inevitable consequences. Sometimes, he asks me if know what happens to girls who misbehave. Yes, of course I know, but I have to tell him anyway. Sometimes, he wants me to ask/beg for my corporal punishment. And I do.


4. Fetch the Implement - This is another form of making the spankee an active participant in her own punishment. Randy acts impatient and adds swats if I don't return quickly enough or select the wrong implement. One variation is where the spankee has to retrieve a different, and typically more severe, implement partway through a spanking session. This gives the spankee a brief break to consider her predicament before the posterior assault intensifies.


5. Corner Time - Corner time can be used before, during, or after a spanking. The idea is to give the spankee a time-out to consider her actions and the consequences of those actions. Randy likes to place me in corner time immediately after a spanking. I must stand in a designated spot with my skirt raised or pants lowered to fully expose my red bottom.


6. Spanking in Sets - For longer spankings, swats or strokes are sometimes delivered in sets of five, six, ten, or twelve with pauses between sets. These pauses provide opportunities for lectures or scolding. The breaks also allow the accrued pain to be fully processed before starting again.


7. Recording - I think most spankees want to get their spankings behind them (pun not entirely intended). We want to wipe the slate clean and move forward. But that's not possible when the spanker records the proceedings in photographs, audio, and video. These spankings live on forever in electronic format to capture just how thoroughly I was humbled. On the positive side of the ledger, I find it a turn-on to relive these intimate moments from a different vantage point.


8. Bondage - Allowing oneself to be restrained surrenders any vestige of control. I find that kind of submission to be really sexy. After the knots are secure, the spanker is in complete charge.


9. The Punishment Room - Some couples have a designated place where serious spankings occur. Being sent to that room can serve as a shorthand way of notifying the bottom that a spanking is coming her way soon. We spank all over the house. Perhaps the closest room we have is our basement where our spanking bench is set up.


10. Confession - Confession is good for the soul, but it's not so great for the bottom. Sometimes, during a lecture, Randy asks me to list my transgressions and demerits (most of which are fictional). On a few occasions, he typed up a confession for me with an agreement to be paddled as a consequence. I had to sign the confession while he video recorded it.


11. Counting the Swats - Counting can take a couple different forms. The spanker can count out a pre-determined number of swats. Or the spankee can be required to count the swats as they are delivered. Randy's favorite is making me count, distracting me, and then administering extra swats when I inevitably mess up the count.


12. Toys - Unlike some spanking couples, all of our spankings have a sexual element, but it's not always explicit during the actual spanking. Other times, Randy uses toys like vibrators, dildos, and plugs to change my headspace. I find that I can accept a harder spanking when I'm turned on. And simultaneous spanking and sexual stimulation usually push me over the edge.


13. Final Ten - When it seems like a spanking should be about over, Randy will announce, "Ten more." The last ten swats are counted out and delivered in a slow sequence. He strikes hard in the center of each sit spot while alternating sides. He doesn't tell me that these swats are meant to make me remember, but he doesn't have to.


14. Kissing the Implement - When the spankee is required to kiss the surface of the implement that has just spanked her bottom, it represents an acceptance of and appreciation for the preceding painful correction. It also represents a recognition that more punishments will be needed in the future.


15. Displaying the Implement - A throbbing bottom needn't be the only reminder of a recent spanking. We often hang a paddle or brush on a hook in our bedroom. It serves as a reminder of a recently completed spanking session. Every time I see it, I touch my bottom and think, "Ooo, I got a spanking!"


16. Spanking Garments - There are certain articles of clothing that come to be associated with spanking. When a spankee wears such a garment, like a special pair of panties, leggings, or a short skirt, it can serve as a non-verbal signal. Alternately, the spanker can request that the spankee wear the garment. Randy has bought me lots of clothes over the years for precisely this purpose.

Rituals can help make your spankings more interesting, exciting, and varied.

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Aug 30

Our topic of the week was preparations or rituals that take place immediately prior to a spanking. Here are your insights.

Hermione: I wrote about our favourite ritual on my blog here. It enhances our experience by making us laugh, and that's the best way to start a spanking.

Love4her: My spankings have been pretty limited, but the few I have been blessed with included a few "givens." At bedtime, she will take special care to wear panties and a bra that she knows make me crave her more than usual. She will also start in an open robe and heels that frame her lovely feet.

The spankings are brief and do not approach any limit I may have, though I wish she could find it in herself to explore that. I really crave and long to submit to her loving and authoritative tone. A voiceless spanking without that would be pointless. It would be a beating in my book.

A brief "talking to" about whatever she feels brought on the need for discipline is followed by twenty or so playful swats with the wooden spoon. Then I must kiss the heels, toes, and arches. Things work upwards from there to ensure her complete satisfaction.

Spnk MeRed: It isn't a big drawn out ritual (although sometimes it feels that way). The old man will instruct me to get into the spanking position and I have to stay there and wait while he walks around getting any tools he wishes to use. I swear he walks at half his normal pace during this time

Keagen: There is not a set ritual as much as a process. When I'm about to get a disciplinary spanking, I'll hear the phrase, "We've got a couple things to address." My wrist will be seized, and I'll be taken to wherever the spanking is going to be given. I'm never allowed to walk there on my own. I'm always taken. It starts to set the mindframe, "I'm not longer in control, or in charge." Once there, he'll sit down, and pull me into his lap. He'll cradle me close, and we'll talk. His goal is always to understand why I acted as I did, and to make sure that *I* understand why I'm going to be put over his knee.

After this, he'll guide me in front of him. Once again, I'm not allowed to move myself. I'm guided. He'll look me straight in the eyes, and require that I maintain eye contact, as he undoes my belt, and takes my pants and panties all the way down, and sometimes off. He'll pull me close for a hug, and then, he'll throw me over his knee. I'm permitted to keep my hands to myself, until I get them in the way, at which point I'm required to submissively fold them behind my back. That's a process that I hate. With that, and the leg-lock that often follows, I lose all remaining vestiges of control.

Sting Me: My Sir believes in corner time. I have to put on my jammies and he leads me to the corner where my jammies are lowered to the floor or totally removed. I have to put them back on and am taken by the elbow or if very naughty by the ear to where the spanking will happen. Then we have the ritual questions and spanks. He asks my name and whose subby am I. I respond that, “I am your subby, Master,” and receive one hand spank. He asks if I have been a naughty girl. I tell him, “Yes, Master, I have been a naughty girl,” and then receive two more hand spanks. Finally, he asks whether I have been a very naughty girl. I tell him, “Yes, Master,” and receive three spanks.

Sometimes this is over the jammies, but Master believes it doesn't count as a real spanking unless it's on the bare. Then my spanking begins in earnest. I am often required to rise and fetch whichever implement he wants to use next and return the previous one to its place. This can happen as many as seven times during one spanking. We always finish me up with another good, hard hand spanking.

K: We put the kids to bed first. If we still have any energy left, we get busy. That's about the only ritual part of the activities. After that, it's whatever we feel like at the time. Some nights there are fireworks. Others, there are warm swats and cuddles. It's all good.

T: If the spanking is just because, he takes the time to rub my behind every five swats or so and again when we are finished. The swats are almost always accompanied by a light kiss on each behind cheek.

However, if the spanking is a result of discipline, there is no rubbing or kissing at all. Just the feeling of hard, heart pounding, serious-feeling swats and the instruction to clean myself up and reflect on my wrong doings. I must also tell him why the spanking occurred.

Thank you, T, for joining us for brunch.

Jean Marie: Not always, not even very often, but every once in a while he'll sit me on the bed next to him and lovingly brush my hair back, then put it in a ponytail with a ribbon. This is to keep it out of my eyes, so he can see my face wince. He then puts me over his knee and uses that hairbrush on my other end. This ritual builds such anticipation.

Daisy: I get a maintenance spanking on alternate day. (It used to be daily, but I have been behaving, so he has made it alternate days for now). I am instructed to fetch the paddle, and strip. He uses a stern voice to lecture before the spanking begins.

I get ten swats to each cheek, then fifteen, and then, sometimes another twenty. Then I get five to ten stings, and more if I have been rude or disrespectful.

Spanky: At first, I didn't think we did. But after thinking about it, I realize that we do have separate rituals for both erotic and discipline spankings. These rituals are completely different from each other by necessity, and have evolved over time. We don't always adhere to them, but the vast majority of the time we do, because they're fun (well, at least the erotic ones are!).

I won't bore you with the details, because what works for us might not work for anyone else. I think everyone will develop the rituals that are right for them if they need to do so, especially if there is good communication.

Spanky, I have it on good authority that several of the rituals that you and Kallisto share are definitely NOT boring.

Spank-A-Lot: It depends on what kind of spanking it is. For maintenance, it's in the corner with her hands folded behind her and the hairbrush in her hands. For discipline, it's largely the same but without the hairbrush, bared bottom, and a scolding before it starts. For good girl spankings, a kind of informal ritual is a loving bottom rub that I give her. :)

Penfold: For play, Bear and I don't really have a ritual, but we always have a good time and I remember it for the rest of the day or evening. Our DD has some rituals. If I'm driving up to see Bear, and we are on Bluetooth, soon before I reach him, the verbal discipline begins. I also have to have a few minutes of silence. The radio or any form of music cannot be on in the background on the journey, and if it is, then that gets more spanks. When I arrive, Bear is there either at the door or waiting in the hall for me. I'm taken into either the bedroom or the living room. That's when the final part of the verbal discipline happens. He often hugs me to give me a little love and reassurance. Then the spanking begins, usually over his knee, but sometimes over the arm of the chair. Finally, I am let up for hugs and love on his lap.

Anon VII: Our ritual is usually rather short and focuses on positioning, admonitions about holding position and penalty swats for breaking position, and a wait of half a minute or more for the first pop. During the wait, I pat her bottom with the paddle and often place light strokes there and along the backs of the thighs. Sometimes, I pull the paddle away and let her think the first swat is coming, and then to do a few more pats, strokes, or both. She loves the adrenalin build-up from the wait that's never exactly the same twice in a row. The anticipation and uncertainty build tremendous arousal as well as tension, and the first impact provides a huge release for her.

Sandy: I think the play that Rad and I do is more of the snatch and grab type. We don't have a DD relationship, although he occasionally enforces bedtime. It's funny how he delays my bedtime even further by insisting upon putting me over his knee...

But rituals? Not really. The closest I can think of is when he sometimes tells me to get into the bedroom, stretch out across the bed and wait for him. Those times, I can expect a more severe punishment than normal.

Heartzlady: All spankings for us start the same way. I get asked, "Why are you getting spanked?" The answer is, "Because you love me. Because I love you. Because I'm worthy of you loving me and taking care of me."

This exchange never lets me forget that no matter whether it's for 'consequences' or 'just because,' it's always for the same reasons. :)

Anon: Because my husband follows punishment spankings by rubbing skin lotion into my abused bottom, one time I just got the pump bottle and put it within his reach before crawling over his knee for my punishment. Well, apparently because (in his words) he "likes to see my little red wagon roll away" from him after punishment, this was seen as presumptuous. He rubbed a liberal amount onto my butt before he applied the hairbrush. That was the single most painful spanking I ever got, as I told him tearfully afterward. To make up for it, he rubbed a liberal amount up my crack and into my anus. We made love with his finger deep up there, making my libido sing the Hallelujah Chorus. Sure enough, the very next time I earned punishment, he made me fetch the lotion bottle and I got spanked with a moisturized bottom, yelping and begging all the time the hairbrush did its damage. That has been the ritual ever since, I'm sorry to say.

I'm a long-time lurker who just had to share today.

Welcome, Anon!

Red: I'm required to retrieve and lay out the toys, assume the position and wait for however long it takes for her to arrive. I then have to explain why I'm being spanked (even if it's just that I haven't been spanked recently enough, whether it is just been hours or a few days).

One thing: Being caught away from the designated place and position earns me more. I'm pretty good at doing that. It's something I like to add to the ritual.

Bonnie: I wrote the following more than three years ago, but it's equally applicable today.

My thoughts and experiences with regard to rituals are well documented in this blog. I believe rituals provide a certain continuity within a relationship. That's not to say that a couple must always do things in precisely the same rote manner. Even when experimenting, though, it's nice to have those little touchstones. Rituals can provide welcome reassurance.

Variety may be the spice of life, but I would argue that comfortable familiarity is high in protein, nutrients, and anti-oxidants.

As always, thank you for sharing your thoughts!

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Sept 30

Our brunch topic this week was counting swats. Here are your observations.

Prefectdt: Yes, I have counted stokes, but I do not like doing this. My mind has other things to concentrate on. If the spanker counts the strokes, I find this adds to the experience.

Jean Marie: I'm often made to count my strokes when it's punishment. It keeps me focused on the punishment instead of my arousal or how masterfully K is disciplining me. When he's through, it comes as a surprise how much I'm turned-on or how red and hot my backside has become. It sometimes feels like a burden because I can't float away on the experience. It keeps me grounded because, when I messed up in the past, the count had to begin again from zero. This has become an unspoken competition between us when I'm being caned. Can I keep my head while he's ravaging my rump? Will I end up getting just the prescribed ten licks, or will my dose of medicine be doubled for my own good?

Like punishment itself, I love and hate having to count.

Naughtybuttcute: I have never had to count my own strokes. I'm not sure if I could. They'd come out one part moan, one part cuss word, and one part numeral.

For one particularly bad punishment in which I received 80 whacks with a wooden spoon, my husband counted out loud. It was very different knowing when the spanking would end. I think it made it less terrifying. And despite the high number of whacks, it was slightly easier to take.

I don't think I would use counting if I were the Dom. I think unpredictability is one of the things that gives them their power.

D: When we first started spanking, we never counted the swats. Now it is an important part of the ritual. It also gives us a target to see how many I have received. Sometimes I count and sometimes S counts. It adds to the fun for us.

Galros: I hated having to count - especially since it normally meant extra when I lost track or missed one. It just seemed like above and beyond the call of duty for me!

In saying that, we never counted in play. Maybe that was part of it. It was exceptionally difficult to concentrate on counting as well as absorbing the pain and maintaining position!

Pagan: We never count strokes. He just spanks me until we're done.

Like corner time, this is something I had never heard of or considered before becoming aware of the “community.”

It would feel contrived to me, and would serve as a distraction, not an enhancement. For that reason, I have no interest in going there. :)

Luna: I have posted my reply to your brunch topic on my blog.

Dove: I do not have to count and I'm not sure if ML would think of it, not yet anyway. If he added it later as part of a roleplay, then I would go along with it as I can imagine it would work for that situation. In general, though, due to erotic nature of our spanking adventures, I don't know how clearly he would get the count anyway.

Erik: I've not asked my other half to count yet. She's not sufficiently into the roleplay for that. I like the idea of it though.

Caylee: Normally, he'll just spank me until he feels I've gotten a good bottom-warming. I agree with what's been said by a couple of people. Not having a clear end point certainly adds to the whole experience.

With that said, James always has me count if we're doing a scene like schoolgirl/headmaster or for a punishment spanking for a very serious infraction. For these spankings, he normally uses the cane or tawse and follows a very formal ritual. Since those implements, specifically the cane, are so severe that I can't take a whole bunch, I count to add to the weight of the spanking.

PK: I have been told to count a very few times. I don't like to count out loud because I too find that distracting. But I often count in my head. I think I would like him to count once in a while.

Lucy: I've never had to count strokes, but I've counted them in my head, especially when he tells me how many strokes in advance. To be honest, I'm not sure if I could do it...

Paige: The spankings I get are completely sensual and not disciplinary at all, unless my hubby and I are roleplaying. But yes, we've counted spanks. I think it's really fun!

Jujubees: I hate to count the strokes! I think that about covers it. However, I've heard that sometimes we love that which we say we hate. So, maybe somewhere deep down I secretly like it. NO, now that I think about it, I really don't think so.

Paul: Yes, we started off by counting punishment spankings, but Mel found it very hard to count accurately and she hated it anyway. As punishment spanking became rarer, she was told how many strokes of the cane or tawse she had earned and I counted.

In the last twenty-five or so years, the only times she counted were during birthday and anniversary spankings. But during those, there was so much giggling and laughter that I doubt that the count was accurate.

As the vast majority of our spankings were very erotic, she wouldn't have been able to count.

Hermione: Our play is neither formal nor ritualized, and never for punishment. Nor do we do roleplay. So up until now, neither of us has ever counted. I am quite content to lose myself in the erotic sensations, and if I had to count out loud, I would turn into an observer. I'm curious to know how many I get, and sometimes plan to count them silently, but somehow I always get distracted!

Counting might be helpful, though, as a way to ask my husband to spank me longer and/or harder. He is OK with my asking, and I think that saying "Six more, hard as you can" would give me what I need without breaking the spell. Counting those might be fun for both of us.

If I can find the courage to ask for a birthday spanking, there would be extensive counting involved!

Mary: We have often used counting. We definitely count with a “one, thank you sir” with each stroke of the cane! It does seem to add to the ominous feel of the situation. It also seems to add insult to injury, quite literally!

We also count strokes with other implements. Sometimes, he tells me to count, either out loud or in my head. It is hard to be accurate when it stings so badly. If I am off, he does things like starting over. Other times, he tells me how many I will get and then does all the counting on his own. At times, I try to count along. Other times, I just trust him to count accurately. There are times when counting adds to the spirit of the “punishment.” But other times, it is distracting. I can sometimes focus on the counting and "get through" the spanking easier knowing when it will end. In those times, he would actually be wiser to not tell me so that I focus only on the moment (since that would be harder, though I can't say I actually have told him this.)

Brat Scorcher: I firmly believe the naughty girl must always thank me for every stroke.

But I am not a proponent of counting, or making her keep track. As others have said, the naughty girl's mind should be on what a bad girl she has been and why she is being punished, and not mathematics.

Young Lady: I just posted on this topic with an entry entitled Count Your Blessings.

Carye: Yes, we do incorporate counting into our spankings. This is especially true for diet spanking where I get one swat for each ounce gained. We also spank without counting. I enjoy both ways.

Bonnie: We count sometimes. It’s generally as a part of a roleplay or ritual. To me, counting can add to the feel of a scene and intensify the emotions generated.

No matter who keeps the count, the actual number of strokes delivered is almost always higher than the announced goal. If he counts, he “accidentally” adds some extras. When I count, I tend to lost focus (and count) as soon as an implement strikes my bottom!

As you can see, we collected a wide range of responses. Thanks again to everyone who participated.

Keywords: spanking, counting swats, spanking ritual, My Bottom Smarts, spanko brunch