This week’s question required a bit of imagination and our brunch participants proved to be more than up to the challenge. Our topic was a fictional spanking interview show for television.Paul: To start, I think we would need to present the lifestyle choices. My suggestions would be one couple into erotic spanking, one couple into bedroom D/s, one couple into domestic discipline, one couple into 24/7 D/s, and one couple into total power exchange or Master/slave. I'm not up on who is hosting what, but whoever hosts should be intelligent and open-minded.
I think that the whole of human sexuality should be openly discussed. This would lead to a much healthier society.
Hermione: I would pattern the show along the lines of The Daily Show and its host, John Stewart. OK, I guess my version would be a comedy show. There would be a collection of clips from news programs (CNN, BBC) with phrases that had a double entendre of spanko words. Perhaps there could be newspaper headlines with a spanking flavour or a sports montage of, say, soccer players patting bums during the game.
There would be a feature on implements, such as something brand new, or a quick trip to a restaurant supply house. Another idea would be a spotlight on a particular material, or eco or vegan products.
For guests, I would like to see Judge Judy interviewed, and find out how she would have resolved certain cases if spanking had been an option. Gordon Ramsay (Hell's Kitchen) would also be a guest, and would show some examples of kitchen screw-ups that were spanking offenses. (I would SO like to be spanked by Chef Ramsay, but I digress...)
Todd and Suzy: Now this would be a good show! It would be interesting to see what kind of ratings it got.
If we were running the show, we'd want a good cross section of spankos. The writers of several of our favorite blogs that would be perfect. We’d like people that come from different backgrounds, and have different approaches to spanking. But they would all be good people who get something out of spanking. None of them would be weirdos either. We wouldn't want the Springer show to break out. LOL
The topics would focus around the benefits they get out of spanking. These would include positive things like better relationships with more communication (and sex), new friendships, and changing behavior. We would really want to keep things upbeat and positive.
Special segments might include how to make an implement, and how best to use one.
For a host, we think a couple would be best. There are possibilities... Bonnie and Randy are high on the list.
LynLass: I don't want to produce the show. I want to be in charge of the literature portion. I think each episode should have a segment that reviews the various fiction and non-fiction offerings on spanking and related fields.
My first review would actually be an interview with Jacqueline Carey regarding her Kushiel series. I've read the first trilogy and just started on the second trilogy. I'd ask some general questions about where the series is, where is it headed, etc., then move on to her research about the various types of pain that she describes. I'd also ask about historical characters upon which she has based some of her characters, especially The Master of the Straits. I have a number of questions about him. I think that he exhibits a better understanding of Phedre than just a friend would have. I also have a lot of unanswered questions about her extensive training.
If you haven't read the books, it's a fantasy based on a changed medieval Europe, sort of, with a main character who is a masochist but is called an anguisette.
If you haven't read the books and like any kind of fantasy, you'll probably enjoy this series.
Naughty Lele: Ditto on Carey, I've read the Kushiel trilogy and I'm reading the next trilogy as they come out. You won't be disappointed, they're awesome.
I was also going to say John Wayne. I wasn't around when his movies came out, but I would love to interview him about how he felt about the spankings in his movies. Was he a dom? Was he just an actor? In his personal life, did he lean towards spanking for DD, or just for fun, or not at all?
Prefectd (Spanked Hortic): If I were producing this programe, it would be an interview show with an audience question participation section at the end. The interviewers would be Brushstrokes from The Spanking Spot (lots of interviewing experience) and Padme Amidala form Journey To The Dark Side (The most inventive and innovative interviewer in the blogsphere). It would be time to put my ego to one side and let these two decide the questions.
To kick off the first programe, the guests would be Niki Flynn (hugely varied experience), Catherine Corbet (done so much but no one knows anything about her except she is Canadian), and Lucy McLean (one of the best regarded driving forces in the spanking world who also has the ability to both talk the hind legs off a donkey and convince it to go for a walk afterwards).
OPB: As I don't have TV I must assume this show is on the radio as well, so the hostess must be Charlotte Green. She has the most wonderful sexy voice.
Purple Angel: Wow, what a great idea. I think Bonnie would make a tremendous hostess! I also think a regular feature should be an educational presentation on the correct way to give certain types of spankings.
It would also be a great chance for artisans to teach how to make certain implements.
As far as discussion I have never known any spanko that couldn't find endless topics for discussion.
In fact, I believe it would be fascinating to vanilla folks as well. Perhaps the show might convince them to give spanking a try. I know once they tried it, well, there would be no turning back.
Jean Marie: There was a sexuality talk show on HBO years ago moderated by Bob Berkowitz. It was called "Real Sex" which, on rare occasions, addressed spanking. I liked this format because it was frank and open and intelligent, all the things I'd want this show, "Speaking of Spanking," to be. The only spanking representative on TV recently was Howard Stern and butt bongo, (crass and leering and snide), exactly what I don't want this important show of my dreams to be.
That doesn't mean that our show wouldn't also be light-hearted. I like Paul's suggestion that a broad spectrum of lifestyles and interests be discussed. However, I'd hope that fun couples who just loved the erotic playfulness of spanking would predominate. Too many people think of S & M when discipline is discussed.
I think that this would mean that "speaking" wouldn't be all that was related to spanking on this show. Impromtu slap-and-tickle sessions would often occur. Imagine a giggling co-ed standing up to have her hunky boyfriend pull her panties down, turn her over his knee on the couch and spank her adorable ass. The cameras zoom in. One is on her face while the second focuses upon that cute tush. A third lens captures his stern visage. On another show a pleasingly-plump woman could speak to how regular spankings help her with weight management. Then the bounteous beauty of her backside is revealed right on camera while her husband takes the hairbrush to her for a large ration of discipline.
I'd love to see an old married couple in their eighties talk about how they've spanked to spark up their sex-lives for over sixty years. There could be famous guest-star testimonials. That stunning Elizabeth Hurley (former flame of Hugh Grant) has said openly that she was spanked as a British child growing up. Have her on the show to reveal that she still loves a dose of the cane for stress-relief and sexual Tabasco sauce. A twinkle sparkles in her blue eyes, she blushes and relates that she was just caned the night before. She stands, turns around, undoes several large safety pins on the side of her designer gown to prove that her knickerless bum is indeed marked with a set of twelve stripes. The studio audience applauds.
Johnny Carson was a relative unknown when he took over the Tonight Show. We all know an intelligent, well-spoken host for this show that the rest of the world should discover. Bonnie, I'd love to see you sit in the moderator/host's chair (and have to make excuses on those occasions when you couldn't sit).
Just like everyone used to stay up for Johnny Carson's monologue, then make love, and roll over to go to sleep, with the phenomenon of "Speaking of Spanking," couples would be staying up, getting roused up and aroused, spanking and making love until the wee hours. America, like Hispanic nations, would have to institute a national siesta time in order to get any work done. It would be a cultural paradigm-shift!
Jim: A guest appearance by Ditoa Von Tease would be fun. Ms Von Tease was interviewed by the Observer (London) a few weeks ago and she made no bones about her love of spanking.
How about a sequence about the Spencer Spanking Plan? This
lady tours a stage-show about Dorothy Spencer, and could be interviewed:
Bonnie: I envision several different possibilities. First, we could have SoS in the style of “The View” where women of different ages and backgrounds sit around and discuss what spanking means in their lives and how events of the day relate to spanking.
We could have the “Ed Sullivan” variety version, complete with spanking acrobats, a rhythmic caning troupe, puppet spanko skits, spanking opera, and a stand up comedienne who can’t sit down.
There could also be a Barbara Walters style one-on-one interview format where spankos reveal their deepest sore bottom secrets (“Did he weawy bwing a hairbwush?”).
For fun, we could have a very silly Pythonesque program (“No, spank ME!”). John Cleese would provide the ideal combination of seriousness and idiocy (“Very well then. Let the spankings begin!”).
I love the idea of a spanking game show called “You Bet Your Ass.” Contestants would do precisely that!
There are countless people I would like to see interviewed. Examples would include spanking video producers, spanking models, authors of spanking fiction, craftspeople who make implements, long time practitioners, people in the scene, normal spanko couples, mainstream celebrities with spanko proclivities, artists, songwriters, and, of course, spanko bloggers. I’ll spare you the names. In time, I would try to interview everyone with something interesting and different to say about the subject.
As for the host, I nominate our dear friend and frequent commenter, Paul. He has just the right combination of sensitivity, humor, and curiosity to be a tremendous interviewer.
Thanks, everyone. That was fun!
