The Spanko Files: Whatever Happened to Innocent Indy?

When last we heard from our friend Indiana, she had just begun her journey of discovery. Now, a little over a year later, she has significant progress and lots of valuable insights to share.

Whatever Happened to Innocent Indy?

When I last posted here, in January of 2008, I’d more or less come to terms with my spanking desires and was determined to explore them in real life – preferably soon! About two months later, I posted the following announcement on a couple of spanking-related boards I frequent:

I played for the first time(s) over the weekend at a regional spanking party. Sorry, I have no particularly interesting details. It feels weird to just tell everybody back here that I just went away to see friends in another city as if it were no big deal, when actually, I would really describe it as a subtly life-altering experience. So I thought I'd leave a short post here.

Looking back over the last year, I’d have to agree with that assessment. It was a life-altering experience, even if I couldn’t exactly share my excitement with casual acquaintances. And it was just the beginning. Since then, I’ve been to spanking parties, both large and small, in five different states, and I’ve even managed to play privately a few times in my home state. I’ve learned an awful lot about this thing we do and where I fit into the culture, but I’m not concerned about running out of things to learn anytime soon. Most important, I’ve met a lot of wonderful people from all over the country and from abroad.

I’ve noticed a certain suspicion about spanking parties from some MBS readers. I have to admit that I was initially wary of the idea of walking into a room of complete strangers and asking one of them to spank me. As I didn’t have a partner, though, a party seemed like the safest arrangement to me. Perhaps equally important, I was looking for community. As much as I’d enjoyed getting to know people through the internet, I really wanted to talk to other people interested in spanking face to face.

I’m not always one for making careful preparations, but I did as much as I could to get ready for my first party. I read Eve Howard’s advice on the Shadow Lane Member’s Site, along with Doc Tsai’s and Cigi’s party advice. I also got excellent advice from internet friends. Two of the most important pointers I received are pretty standard advice for female bottoms. First, consult the experienced female bottoms in the group about good play partners for a newcomer. Second, when you do start playing, pace yourself. Don’t play too hard on the first day, or you’ll sit the second day out – and the third, if applicable.

The third key piece of advice I received surprised me a bit at first. An internet friend recommended that I have a strategy for saying no to an invitation I didn’t want to accept. This may sound a bit harsh, but it was offered with a great deal of sensitivity and intended to protect me without hurting anyone’s feelings. It is a fact of life that even the most battle-hardened veteran can only play so much at a party, so you can’t accept every invitation. At the time, though, I didn’t know that. As my correspondent is both well known and very attractive, my first instinct was to laugh it off. She might need a strategy, but I wouldn’t!

Then I thought a bit more about the context in which her advice had been offered. We’d been discussing socially unacceptable behavior by male tops at large spanking parties – about the small minority of guys who seem certain that if you’re at a party, they are entitled to spank you. She had suggested that the excitement of being around other people interested in spanking for the first time can be overwhelming, and that it’s easy to get carried away by it. That made me realize I was by no means immune from that same excitement, and it could also cause me to make unwise decisions.

So I decided ahead of time that I would only play with people who had been recommended to me as particularly good for newcomers. That would kill all three birds with one stone: I’d play with extra-safe tops, I wouldn’t be tempted to play too much, and I could say no without hurting anyone’s feelings. Once I had a better idea what I was doing, I could be less cautious at the next party.

That strategy worked pretty well. People generally respected my plan, and it was easy to write off the one person who didn’t as an unsuitable play partner. As a mostly-bottom, a top who takes a no gracefully, or who doesn’t press me to play right away is one I’ll notice favorably. And there will be other parties.

Before I arrived, I guess I had imagined that there would be a big room filled with lots of spankings, and I’d get to see whose style seemed like a good fit with my nebulously defined tastes. It wasn’t like that at all, though. People generally socialized in the party room and retreated to their private hotel rooms to play. There was absolutely no pressure to play publicly, and most people didn’t. Of course, each spanking group is different, and the ratio of public to private play varies quite a bit.

I’d arrived late, which made it a bit harder to get a feel for the lay of the land. Most people had already dispersed for play, so not much was happening in the party room. I *was* completely overwhelmed, and the first hour or two were among the most surreal I've ever experienced. After a while, though, one of the women in the group returned to the party room, recognized my name from the Yahoo group, and kindly took me under her wing.

So it soon came to pass that I was sitting at a table with about seven more experienced female bottoms and a couple male tops. One of them offered to do the honors and received the endorsement of the women at the table. He'd written me a nice note a couple months before, so I trusted him, but I was still nervous. The other bottoms reassured me, telling me I didn't have to play until I was ready, Hon, not now, not tonight, not even the whole weekend. Then the woman next to me piped up, telling me that on the other hand, I'd been waiting my whole life for this, so I may as well go ahead. That was just the little push I needed.

So off I went. Perhaps ironically, I found that being over a near-stranger's lap, skirt up and knickers down, as they say, was the *least* strange part of the evening. He took charge, but was very careful, leaving me with a nice pink bottom, but not a bright red one. I was amazed at how little it took to get that wonderful floaty feeling, and I fell asleep in a lovely endorphin haze.

The next day was much more comfortable. In retrospect, I think that was because I *knew* that I belonged. I mean, I didn't exactly think the chances that I wouldn't like being spanked were all that high, but I didn't know for sure. I’d come to value being a part of the larger spanking community, and I didn’t want to let that go.

The other question that had been nagging at me before the party was the relationship between spanking and sex. I had read quite a few descriptions of spanking party encounters, and I knew that sex following spanking was emphatically not the default option. Still, I wondered how spanking could possibly be separated entirely from sex. As another internet friend once commented,

“I've often thought that so much of the [M/F] spanking thing really just mimics the whole sex act. Basically we're designed more for the doggie style position than the missionary position anyway. Hmmm. Let's see. Repetitive motions squarely against one's backside. Assertive vs. receptive energies. For the male, there is the visual with the remnants in their brains of the old red bottom to signal estrus. It’s the bottoms up/face down position for females, just like being OTK.”

I’m still not sure I can explain the difference. All I can say is, there are many kinds of spankings, and some are more erotic than others. At parties, there lots of just for fun spankings, light-hearted if not always lightly administered, punctuated by good-natured teasing and friendly banter. There are also spankings that are kind of like a massage, relaxing and definitely sensual, but not exactly sexual. In other cases, I’ve been more aware of my arousal, but it hasn’t always been directed at the spanker. In that way, it’s kind of like going to a movie with a really sexy star. You may be aroused, but you’re more likely to be thinking about sex with your partner than with the movie star. It doesn’t surprise me at all that married couples in exclusive relationships can play with others, but seek out their own partners after their spanking play has ended.

Sure, this kind of play is less intimate than playing with a lover, and that may be unappealing to a lot of people. Several vanilla friends have asked if my playing around, as it were, is temporary or if I’ll continue to go to parties if I find a partner in the scene. Am I, as a kinky friend puts it, experiencing a second adolescence, trying things out for a while before figuring out what I really like and settling down to it?

It’s hard to know the answer to those questions. It’s certainly true that I’ve jumped in with more abandon than I would have thought possible, and that I’ve played with a lot more people in one year than I would have predicted. I did become less cautious after that first party, too, causing one of my internet friends to wonder, “Whatever happened to Innocent Indy?” Sure, I’ve made a few mistakes in that time – none too disastrous, fortunately. I’ve also tried things that I’m glad I’ve done once and don’t care to repeat, and I’ve found myself enjoying things that surprised me.

I suspect that I’m beginning to find a niche within the scene and will stay closer to that niche as time goes on. On the other hand, I definitely can’t see giving up the wonderful social connections that the party scene has to offer. It’s a remarkable experience, sitting around a table with people you’d enjoy seeing in a vanilla context, but with whom you can also talk about spanking. Just by being in the same room, I’ve shared something about myself that I’d kept secret for decades. The relief of doing so and knowing that the other person understands is liberating, and it makes for building close friendships surprisingly rapidly. There’s just no way I can put into words how much I’ve enjoyed getting to know people who have such varied backgrounds, careers, and outlooks on life, but who are united by this fairly unusual shared interest.

What would I recommend to those who are considering the party route? First, I’d encourage you to get involved in the spanking blogosphere. I was ridiculously nervous about each baby step I took: my first comment here on MBS, each first e-mail to a blogger whose writing I enjoyed, de-lurking on SSS, and especially guest-posting here. Each time I took a risk, the spanking community paid me back many times over. I can’t think of a single person who hasn’t written me back – that day, the next week, or even an amusingly apologetic note a month or so later. The kindness and warmth that I had found on-line made it so much easier to take that step toward RL play.

Second, especially if you are a bottom who hasn’t played before, I can’t overemphasize the importance of finding safe tops who are used to playing with newcomers. Just as not every talented athlete is a good coach, not every skilled spanker is a good teacher. It makes things a lot easier to put yourself in the hands of a good teacher. I’m not exactly a pushover, but I found the experience of playing for the first time completely overwhelming. I’m glad I didn’t have to take responsibility for deciding when to stop, or worse yet, extract myself from an unsafe situation.

This is probably good advice for tops, too. Plenty of bottoms are happy to show you the ropes. Sure, it’s not exactly domly behavior to ask for help, but you can be masterful after you know how to give a warm-up and aim an implement. Whatever you do, don’t pretend a level of experience that you don’t have. You may not end up in as dangerous a situation as a bottom might, but if you get a reputation for not caring enough about the safety of your partner, it’s awfully hard to shake it off. Most party organizers are happy to pair newcomers up with good teachers of either orientation, especially if you ask them ahead of time, before the craziness of running the show takes over.

If you do decide to leap into the spanking in this way, I hope your experiences are as overwhelmingly positive as mine have been. I may not know whether I’ll continue making trips to various other parts of the country to attend parties, or if I’ll settle into a more local pattern of friends and play. I do know, however, that I’m having a lot of fun with wonderful new friends, and I plan to continue doing just that!

Thank you, Indy, for sharing your experiences and advice. I know many MBS readers will benefit from your wisdom. May all your parties be worthy of celebration!

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Oct 28

Appropriate to the season, this week’s brunch dealt with Halloween celebrations. Here are your thoughts.

Padme: We do have special plans for Halloween. My daughter is hosting the haunted house at her school, so I plan to spend the day helping her with that. I do plan to dress up, but am still trying to decide what to wear. I have many costumes to choose from. :)

We are going to a Halloween party with a big dinner and everyone is dressing up. We went last year and it was a lot of fun. The people's house is huge and they always decorate it all up and play Halloween music. They also have some games for the kids. I can't wait. :)

I hope to get a spanking later in the night when our children are in bed and we have some alone time. There is nothing better than a spanking on Halloween. :)

Dressing up is the part I love best about Halloween. I also love going to the pumpkin patch and carving the pumpkin. :)

Raheretic: Approaching five years ago now, before we bought our condos, we lived in two side by side apartments in an upscale apartment complex. They used to host complex parties every month or so in the complex community house. Of course in October they would have a Halloween party with tenants encouraged to come in costume, etc. We won the costume contest three years in a row.

We would deck ourselves out in BDSM fetish clothing and gear. T and sue with their collars, lead by me on leashes, and me with plenty of paddles, floggers, and whips dangling from my belt. We astonished most of our neighbors. You see, most of the tenants were young (twenty-something), recently graduated, aspiring business executives, mostly single, and generally very pretty. But they were remarkably traditional and conservative (Just what the hell is wrong with these kids today!).

They thought it was kind of funny to see us 50-year old range codgers and codgettes (?) hanging out at their party. I remember once when we joined in one of their conversations and they were amazed that my T had a better grasp of rock group names than they had... But I digress.

T would be dressed as a pussy cat, and would have mittens safety pinned to the back of her costume (a take off on the old "three little kittens, had lost their mittens" nursery rhyme.) She would tell people that she needed to find her mittens to avoid getting spanked. She also would carry a Halloween pumpkin-like candy container filled with red licorice Twizzlers. As each guest would enter the party, she would offer them a Twizzler (very "twisted" licorice candy), telling them, "My Master says I have to offer these to everyone because I am so twisted." Sue would just play the role of the humble slave led about on a leash by her Master.

We got lots of interesting reactions. Many people would tell us how very real our costumes and props seemed to them. DUH! We would tell them that we were not in costume at all, and that the rest of the year, we had come to the parties in costume. This month, we had come as we were... which would cause some of them to go away confused. Some folks would pursue their curiosity enough for us to launch into an impromptu workshop on our D/s polyamorous lifestyle. No one ever offered to have me spank them, dammit. :(

It was fun to fly in the face of these young yuppies' ageist stereotypes and to give them a little first hand experience with some of the trappings and even information about our alternative lifestyle. It is so rare for us to be able to be out about who we are, and our lives, other than in very intentionally constructed Lifestyle events, parties, etc.

We haven't had nearly so much fun on Halloween since.

Jean Marie: Halloween holds a special, special place in my heart, and not just because I'm such a Harry Potter fan. It has to do with knowing my orientation as a spanko for so long growing up, but keeping it secret. It still resonates with me, who presents the image of a proper school teacher to world, when I'm a libidinous, lascivious spank-maniac/sex-fiend underneath my conservative clothes. On this magic night, I like to unmask the hidden, let the monster in my closet out to run wild and free.

That said, because the magical holiday falls in the middle of the week this year, we sadly have no party to attend. I'll hand out candy at the door dressed as Marie Antoinette with hair piled on my head, a corset squeezing my tits up and my ass out, and a floor-length satin dress hiding the fact that I'm otherwise naked underneath. I bet it won't take long for my lover to unwrap my goodies and get us both sticky... Last year I went to a party as Cruella de Ville, with half of my blonde hair dyed black, and my body tightly encased in a skin-tight polka dot dress. It was such a dramatic change from my everyday persona, some acquaintances didn't recognize me. I hooked-up with a young hunk in a Freddie Krueger mask, and made-out in the host's master bedroom on all the guests' coats for a couple hours. The guy wouldn't take my hints that I wanted/needed to be spanked. If he had, I might have lost my head and had unsafe sex with him. As it was, we just kissed and dry-humped and let our hands explore.

I've had some phenomenal times on Halloween. Easily one of the most memorable was when I lived in L.A. and was invited to Hefner's Playboy Mansion for the All-Hallows Eve Bash. I was a struggling actress/model then, so couldn't afford much of a costume. I wore my English equestrian outfit of helmet, boots, tight breeches, and open blouse without benefit of a bra. I was out back by the grotto around midnight, where all kinds of erotic goings-on were transpiring in plain view, when a well-known producer took my riding crop from my grasp and gave my bottom a smart smack. I feigned indignation as I pulled the stretchy pants and lace panties down to inspect the damage. "You left a mark!" I exclaimed. I bent over fully, revealing all my charms, and informed him that I was a very naughty thing, and that just one lick wouldn't suffice. He verified that he could use the thin rod very expertly, followed by a session with his thick one. We were an item for several months after that.

I truly believe that all kinds of spirits are loosed on this special night. I can attest to being possessed on more than one occasion. I hope everyone will be wickedly bold and nakedly honest with who they dress-up as and how they (mis)behave.

Mthc: We go all out for Halloween as we live in a neighborhood of 140 houses. We get around 300 or 400 trick-or-treaters. We have an outdoor fireplace, torches, a real cow skeleton, decorations, and lights. My mom hands out candy.

Here’s David in his costume.



Yeah, I think David has a Halloween spanking on his mind.

Terpsichore: My husband and I have been married for eight years. Our relationship has always included an occasional spank here and there and some light playful spanking during lovemaking. However, it was never more than that. Last month, I expressed to my husband my innermost fantasies of being spanked and he responded with love and acceptance. I am still waiting for that spanking. We have two small children who we love so much and who bring smiles to us each day. On Halloween, we will enjoy taking them trick or treating to a couple of houses and seeing their sweet faces in their costumes. Most likely, my husband and I will not wear costumes, though quite possibly our children will choose costumes for us by giving us cat ears or a firefighter's hat or other such accessories from their dress up box. And who knows, once the children are sleeping in the quiet of the night, maybe my spanking fantasy will come true. Only time will tell...

Dove: It's only just really starting to take off here in Australia and, in fact, the last two years is the only time we have had kiddies turn up at the door to 'trick or treat.' I make sure I have something for them now, but I didn't think of dressing up myself. I will have to think of something, but whether I'll get a spanking for my trouble is anyone's guess.

Mary: Halloween is one holiday that we have yet spent together. It always seems he is out of town. But I can see some ideas from the trick or treat theme. I loved Tom's story of saying they were in costume at all the OTHER parties!! How fun!

Emily: I don’t have any major plans this year. My ex is taking our youngins trick or treating so I may have to come up with something. Get some friends together to go see a spooky movie or go to a haunted house or something. I don’t have any plans to dress up this year. For the past couple of years my coworkers and I have dressed up for work. We did pajama's one year and another it was 60's attire... You know, poodle skirts and such. I have lots of outfits I could wear but definitely not appropriate costumes to wear to work or out trick or treating with the kiddos. LOL

Morningstar: Halloween has lost its appeal for me specifically. Oh, there are costume parties we could attend here in the Great White North. But since most BDSM parties already greatly resemble a Halloween masked ball every weekend, Halloween holds no special thrill…

A few years ago though, Sir and I went to a private BDSM party and I dressed up as an angel, which raised more than a few eyebrows, trust me…

This year, I did find some interesting "Halloween" accessories (so to speak ) for Sir. I presented them to Him on Friday night. He dressed me up in them and took loads of pictures... If anyone is interested, I should be posting pictures of the result on Monday. It’s just a little introduction to Halloween fun in our condo in the Great White North!

Paige: Yup! I always dress up in something naughty! In fact, I dressed up for my hubby yesterday as a sexy cat! He absolutely loved my costume, and I absolutely loved the spanking I got!

Oh, BTW, I have a picture of the costume on my blog!

Hermione: I've put together a semi-kinky costume to wear to work. I'm going as "The Enforcer." Over black slacks and red sweater, I'll wear a sequined devil's tail and horns, plus a spiked leather collar and leather wrist bands. I have a small leather flogger to carry. This is pretty much in keeping with the job I have, and my work persona. At work, I would be perceived as a domme rather than a sub.

While costume shopping I also picked up a red and black feather boa and a serving wench costume of black velvet dress with a red bodice that laces up the front. I'll store these with the rest of my interesting play outfits.

We'll be going out for dinner on Halloween, and who knows what devilment we might get up to after.

LynLass: I went to a Halloween spanking party earlier this month dressed as Elphaba, the Wicked Witch of the West from the musical Wicked. Because I had the witch's hat that said "Wicked" that was purchased at the show, I really expected someone to notice what it said and decide that I needed a spanking because I was "wicked," but nobody did. I did get some very good spankings, just none because I was "wicked!"

Bonnie: Randy and I attended a (vanilla) costume party last night and it was great fun. I dressed as an elf. It was a real hoot. I wore a dark green leotard over lighter green tights. I then wrapped some green material around my hips to create a little skirt. I even found some pointed ears!

Randy, deciding to play off of my idea, donned a Santa suit. Apparently, they’re not at all difficult to rent in October. He made a very silly Santa, but it was good for a lot of laughs. More than once during the proceedings, our lecherous old soul felt the need to grope his trust elfin assistant.

When we returned home, playtime commenced almost immediately. I knew he would adore my costume. In his testosterone-clouded brain, tight spandex plus curved flesh equals spanking time. There was lots of rubbing, plenty of spanking, and a fine after-party celebration. At our house, Santa delivered his gifts a couple of months early!

Dave: I like dressing up as a Ninja for some reason. I’ve seen too many Kung Fu films perhaps. I guess it lets out my inner Bruce Lee.

Thank you all for your spooky spanko contributions! I hope you’ll all stop back next week.

Keywords: spanking, Halloween spanking, spanking party, spanking costume, My Bottom Smarts, spanko brunch

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Aug 26

Our topic this week dealt with readers’ impressions regarding organized spanking parties. As I had hoped, our brunchers bring to the table rich knowledge and abundant experience.

Purple Angel: I am a member of Crimson Moon, a Chicago based spanking group. I was supposed to attend their July party, but couldn't make it work. However, several members of my Yahoo group went. For two of them, it was their first time. They said it was wonderful. They had the time of their lives. Both of them were female bottoms, but one of the tops in our group went also and he has been to many of these.

I am planning to make it to their October party. I have never been to any kind of group spanking event, but I am looking forward to giving it a try. First of all, you aren't required, pushed, or nagged to do anything you don't want to do. Some couples go because of the chance to socialize with spanko friends, but they only spank with each other.

Truly, I think I will enjoy meeting others who have the same or similar feelings about this. And I have to be honest, I love spanking and being spanked and so does my partner. I really do think we will try it out with others and see how we feel about the experience.

Everyone I know who has gone always had a great time.

Sparkle: I'm going to my second Shadow Lane party next week. There was a time when I said it wasn't my thing, and I was a bit nervous that it *wouldn't* be my thing when we went last year.

But it was very cool. There's something about attending an elegant dinner party in your dress clothes and having the girl at the next table flipped over someone's lap for a spanking. It's not rampant, but it's *there*, you know?

No one expects you to bare your bum for the crowd. Most don't. But it was so amazing to walk down a hotel hallway and just listen to the smacks, yelps, giggling and paddling coming from behind nearly every door. The suite parties are fun, too. But again, there might be one or two people getting spanked in one of the rooms, but it's not like guys are sitting around in chairs with girls draped across their laps or something equally bizarre.

I spent three mornings having a three-hour breakfast with spankos in a public restaurant about 2-5 AM. It wasn't about who got spanked the most or the hardest. It was really about just being around other adults with whom you could actually talk about that topic in which we all had in common.

Don: We have enjoyed spanking parties for almost ten years. We have only been to small events. We don't like crowds, so the larger parties such as CM and Shadow Lane don't have much appeal for us. But that is just a personal preference.

We have made some good friends and it has opened a new world for us.

Hermione: A mysterious envelope appears in the mailbox, with a return address of Shadow Lane. I open it and remove an invitation to a Labour Day party. Suddenly, we are showered with pixie dust and magically transported to the Shadow Lane party.

On the first day, we absorb the spanking atmosphere, watch other couples in action, and enjoy the sights and sounds. That night, I am spanked with a little more vigour than usual.

The next day, we lunch with a friendly group, and Ron is invited to administer a spanking to the woman sitting next to him. I urge him to do it because I really want to watch him give a spanking. Since I am always on the receiving end, this hasn't been possible. He spanks and enjoys it a lot. We retire to our room for the erotic conclusion of that scene.

I later allow myself to be spanked by someone else, with Ron's permission, because I want to test
my limits. The spanking is harder than I usually receive, and at the end I am ready for some TLC in our room.

On the third day, Ron spanks me at one of the group gatherings. He has learned a lot!

We bid goodbye to our new friends and are magically whisked back to our home. All that remains is a little sparkling dust on the floor. And a sparkle in our eyes.

Sigh. Back to canning tomatoes. And a spanking later on.

Paul: As far as I know there were no spanking parties in our day.

I believe we would have enjoyed talking about our spanking interests and making spanko friends.

Thinking about it, the only way we would have gone to such a party with the intention to spank is masked. I can't imagine Mel allowing herself to be spanked by anyone else and I can't imagine me allowing it. We weren't swingers by any means.

Paige: My hubby and I attended a spanking party, and though I enjoyed meeting everyone, it's not something we'd want to do again. I discovered that while I enjoy fantasizing about both getting spanked in public and watching other girls get spanked, it's not something I'm comfortable with doing in real life. It's not my hubby's thing, either. So we're in agreement!

Mary: I have an interest in attending, but the timing often just isn't good when it comes to Shadow Lane. I didn't know about Crimson Moon parties. July may work.

Abby: I think my husband and I are both excited for an opportunity to go to one of these some day. Not this Labor Day, unfortunately, as we'll be with his parents at a beach house and I will have to all weekend without a spanking. I'm going to be very good this week so we can pretend I've earned a weekend off.

Back to the topic, we've actually been discussing the possibility of going to one of these. Right now, we're in agreement that it would be more fun to be in the environment and meet like-minded people than to spank or be spanked by anyone else. It's a possibility for some day, but today we're very happy with just each other. Still, we really would love to be in a place where spanking is in the air. I obviously love to talk about this subject, so being able to do so in person with others would just be phenomenal. We also both enjoy the auditory aspect of spanking, so hearing it coming from other rooms would be a real highlight for us.

To those who are attending the Shadow Lane party, have a wonderful time! I hope to be among you someday soon.

LynLass: I attended my first party ever and I knew no one there except our host. Because of that, I was only a little bit nervous. I shouldn’t have been. It was a great experience.

I had dental surgery early that morning and had not slept well for at least two nights prior. By all reasonable criteria, I should have stayed at home. However, I’d missed the last party because I was out of town. I had been planning on coming from the day the date was posted. I had made the goodies I was bringing the night before, so there was no way I was going to miss it.

It was in a private home and there were less than 20 people there. I was one of two “newbies” at the party. Even so, everyone else knew at least some of the others previously (People had come from four hours away!) and they were all gracious and welcoming. I was in the kitchen when the host came in and said, “I want to show you something.” I expected a visual something, what I got was experiential. He took me into the living room, sat down, pulled me across his lap and gave me the opening spanking of the evening!

I guess my spanking broke the ice. After that, there was a lot of spanking going on. I mostly observed until I was offered the opportunity for a flogging with a deerskin flogger. It was incredible. The only thing I really can compare was a wonderful skin stimulating massage. I absolutely loved it and could have gone on all night.

I am already looking forward to the next party and would absolutely go to a larger one like Shadow Lane if the opportunity and circumstances allowed. I learned some things that one could never learn on-line and I got to know some really great people.

Carye: I know that my husband would never want to go to one, but I think that it would be kind of cool to go to one. We've never been.

Amber: I attended the Shadow Lane event last year for the first time. I was a little over two months into my relationship with my top/boyfriend as well as modeling for Amateur Spankings. Talk about having the nervous jitters! It was so exciting and before all was said and done, I felt very at home. Someone mentioned the dressing up for the dinner party and witnessing the girl at the next table being pulled over someone's lap for a spanking... Well, I don't know if I'm the one she was referring to, but I must confess - GUILTY! LOL Following dinner, I experienced my first spanking by a female. It was tons of fun and that was a warm up for the suite parties. ;) I will be attending this year as well and I can't wait!

Thank you, everyone, for illuminating this timely topic! For those attending the SL event next weekend, I hope you enjoy a wonderful trip. If you find yourselves too busy to attend our little brunch, it’s perfectly OK. I’ll know you’re doing your part to spread the word.

For everyone else, we’ll be right back here next week. Same (dogging) bat time.