Story: The Jungle

This is pure fantasy. Not only has this never happened, I doubt I’d even want it in real life. So fantasy it must remain.

A bead of perspiration traced down my temple as we trudged up the narrow path. Plants on either side brushed against my hips and legs. The air was heavy with moisture. The exposed dirt of the winding trail was firm, but not rough. I felt tired and thirsty, yet I had no desire to stop.

We had been walking for a long time. You seemed to know our destination and how best to reach it. I trusted you. I had little choice. Each time my confidence flagged and my pace slowed, you reassured and reinvigorated me with a quick strike from the short whip that hung from your belt. Somehow, the pain made this excursion all right.

Many sounds surrounded us as we walked on. I heard a thousand birds overhead and all around us. Their calls blended to create a continuous chatter. I heard small animals scurrying in the underbrush beside me. I heard my feet fall one after the other upon the bare dirt. The buzzing of insects was so ubiquitous as to become part of the backdrop for this aural landscape.

I knew what would happen. Not how nor where, but what and why. I knew and I accepted my fate. I openly acknowledged, if only to myself, that I deserved all I would soon receive. Without a word spoken, on we walked.

My hands being unavailable, I directed a concentrated breath of air downward in hopes of removing an insect from my left breast. You encouraged me to continue moving forward by flicking the whip briskly across my bottom.

Finally, we came to a clearing. It was an area that was roughly thirty feet square. There were no trees and the ground was almost entirely bare. Immediately upon entering the clearing, I felt the intense heat of the direct tropical sun. It was then I spotted four sturdy stakes driven into the earth.

Taking hold of my bound wrists, you led me to the center of the clearing. Once there, you freed me from the white cotton rope and instructed me to lie on the ground, face down. The dirt was quite hot and it felt like lying on a griddle. Still I complied. You placed four red kerchiefs around my wrists and ankles. Next, you tied stiff, scratchy hemp ropes to each my limbs and secured them to the four stakes. I was now completely at your mercy as never before.

Rather than cruelty, though, you showed me kindness. You knelt to permit me a drink from your canteen. You stroked my hair and spoke to me. You told me that you loved me deeply, more than anything in the world in fact. You explained that all the events that would follow were a demonstration of that love and adoration. With that, you stood again.

Bound as I was, I could no longer see you behind me. What I felt, though, was your unmistakable calling card. The whip snapped hard against the bare flesh of my bottom. It burned with a searing heat far warmer than the ground beneath me. Again, the pain and the heat struck nearby. By the third hit, I was pulling against the ropes in a futile attempt to escape. But there would be no escape for me. You ensured that.

Struggle as I might, my fate was sealed. As the lashes accumulated, I gradually resigned myself to this irrefutable fact. I would be spanked until you were finished with me. While I might not always love the pain, I truly appreciate your ability to carry each session to its ultimate conclusion.

I wept, not from pain or a feeling of utter helplessness, but because of the strength of the bond between us and the intensity of my gratitude for it. When you decided you had completed what must be done, you released my wrists and ankles. I was pleased to be freed from the discomfort of the ropes. You helped me to my feet and then took me lovingly into your arms. I melted within your embrace. This moment made everything else worthwhile. I was wholly yours.

And yours I shall stay…

Keywords: spanking, spanking story, spanking fiction, bondage, whipping, BDSM

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for July 30

Our brunch topic was warm-up spankings. As usual, you contributed a wonderful variety of thoughts and experiences.

Mary: Warm-ups? I love them! They are not always needed or given. But there is a comfort in being held on his lap and gradually getting into it. Sometimes, his lap is my favorite place to be. We have used them in role play often, very commonly in erotic play, and also if it is punishment. If it is a punishment, a warm-up centers me and I am scolded. Or he may start sharply instead to get my attention. For role play, warm up is a way to let the scene build. For erotic play, well, warm-ups can get me warm all over! All in all, warm-ups provide comfort, center me and help me feel connected.

Jean Marie: Warm-ups are employed frequently in this household. If the spanking is playful, the warm-up gets me in the mood. If the spanking is for punishment, as Mary just mentioned, the warm-up can be a time when I'm lectured or questioned. It can be the calm before the storm.

Warm-ups generally are an act of consideration for my cute butt. The warm-up gradually brings blood to the surface of the skin at the target-area, which lessens the bruising that would occur otherwise. That's why, in about twenty-five percent of my spankings that are for severe punishment, warm-ups are not utilized. Kyle starts in hard and heavy with the "designated hitter" implement. The focus here is to shock and awe, to hurt, and to leave evidence that the bad girl just got a good lesson. I'm fair-skinned, but I have toughened up back there over the years, so I don't bruise often. I know in the first two seconds at the start of the punishment if "it's gonna leave a mark." As we discussed in a past brunch, that's why bruises back there are special and memorable. Generally, in this household, harsh punishments are upsetting to both participants, so warm-ups have a warm and fuzzy connotation.

Eva: I don’t believe that my DH is past the "I don't want to hurt you stage," so he never just goes at it fast and hard. There's always a warm-up. In the long run, that's for the best because I probably handle it better than I would without a warm-up. I have a feeling, though, that if I ever angered him, he might go at it faster and harder and quicker. Ouch. We've been married too long. We don't fight any more. Hmmm... I guess maybe I'm glad we weren't spankos in our earlier years. LOL

B     : Warm-ups are used most of the time with me. I can take a lot more pain after a proper warm-up. If he wants to get into some heavier pain, like the cane, he's really thorough about a warm-up.

The few times D has punished me, it's been in the form of spanking my breasts. Of course, there was no warm up involved with that and those swats left lasting impressions.

Tigger Too: Warm-ups? Oooh, yes! I always get a warm-up! And I sooo love getting them! Not only are they incredibly fun, but they also allow me to take a much harder and a much longer spanking!

Fanny Annie: Yes, Papa and I use the warm-up spanking. He'll use his hand and spank me, generally alternating between cheeks and sometimes on the sensitive divide. My bottom will be pink from just below the tailbone to the sit spot. I love the warm-up. Papa likes to stop briefly and caress and pinch my bottom, which adds to the pleasure.

Not only is my bottom sufficiently prepared for the toys to come out, my mind has shifted gears from whatever was happening just before the spanking (heavy traffic, work, whatever) to its spanking mode. That's the delightful state when time doesn't exist, and my entire being is wrapped up in handing over control and access to my bottom to Papa.

The warm-up spanking is like the first few minutes after being lovingly wrapped in a warm blanket. The harder spanking is like the time spent being loved and cuddled while inside the blanket. The aftercare slowly unwraps the blanket and brings me back to the real world.

Mija: Warm-ups, or what are generally thought to be warm-ups, are one of those things that don't work for me. Sometimes, I endure them. Other times, they knock me completely out of any headspace (though that happens less now).

I think it's because all my spanking thoughts center around punishment. Being warmed up doesn't fit anywhere and seems to have erotic overtones, something that definitely doesn't work. Starting hard and fast gets me into the right mindset. Although it hasn't often happened, I especially like the terrible and intense feeling of being caned cold.

It's hard to explain sometimes, but what I enjoy is the sense that I'm suffering, that I'm not on top of the pain, that I'm not in control. Being warmed up gradually gives me the opposite experience.

I said "being warmed up gradually" because the fact remains, even starting hard and fast right away, I do get warmed up in the sense that if the scene goes on or I get spanked more times after the first one, my ability to take more increases.

Diane: Warm-up spankings are basically where we are right now. Brian spanks me every morning for several minutes until I feel the tingle. If it is too light, I waggle my bottom impatiently.

Afterward, I feel clearer in my tasks for the day. I also feel a very close connection to Brian, one that cannot be had any other way. I am relaxed and tension free to start my day.

Yesterday's spanking, however, was pure discipline with no warm-up. It lasted about 20 minutes. He spanked me with his hand, harder than usual, and finished with several strokes with a wooden spoon. This made me cry even harder. I do not like implements at all. But I know I deserved it.

For the rest of the day, I was laughing, joking, and at ease. We shared a wonderful afternoon.

Good Girl: As a newbies to spanking, we usually do a warm-up before the harder spanking. It's usually just some light spanking, increasing in intensity to get the blood flowing. I like the warm-ups because they help me to prepare for the harder spankings to come, both physically and mentally.

Paul: I would say that I used warm-up spankings about 95% of the time. Severe punishments, which were very rare, didn't have warm-ups. Stress busters and attitude adjusters came with talk and warm ups to find what caused the stress or the attitude. It helped me to understand why Mel needed the spanking, and helped Mel to know that she needed the spanking and, as always, that she was loved.

Good girl spankings were largely warm-ups anyway. *G*

kk: My warm-ups are more along the lines of being told early in the day that I will be punished. This gives my mind time to think about the pain I will be receiving.

Master has been known to get right to it with a good hard start and not let up until the end. No warm-up is needed when I am being punished for a bad deed.

No matter whether I get a warm-up or not, I still enjoy my spankings.

Todd and Suzy: We probably use some form of warm-up in 98% of our spankings. Some harder punishment spankings start *very hard* but very, very slowly. It’s a little different than building from moderate to hard spanks, but the slower pace does act as a warm-up. Spankings that are hard and fast from the start are rare.

Lots of interesting comments... We especially like Jean Marie's "shock and awe." LOL! That certainly does describe the fast, hard ones well!

S: D has a theory that my first spank should be a bum-numbing, shriek-producing, cheek-scorcher, so that the rest of my spanking should be light relief, but I'm not at all sure that my bottom and I agree with this!

Elis: I just hope to get past the warm up stage some day. So far, it’s been pretty mild. If Nick ever actually spanked me when he was angry, I wouldn't expect a warm up. But so far, I can't picture that.

Bonnie: This is one area where Randy has really refined his technique during the past few years. For a long time, he was a subscriber to Jean Marie’s “shock and awe” philosophy. He wanted me to gasp at the sheer intensity of his initial blows. In truth, he probably got me to the point of acceptance faster this way, but it wasn’t nearly as much fun as a more gradual warm-up.

Lately, he’s been all over the map. Sometimes the swats are hard, other times comparatively gentle. Sometimes my spankings are fast and ferocious. Other times, they slowly escalate in pace and intensity. He particularly delights in giving me the spanking I least expect and then convincing me that I like it.

I think Randy knows that I can absorb a longer, more severe spanking if he warms me up in stages. So, yes, we often have warm-ups.

Tony: We use warm-ups as it allows the spanking to last a good bit longer. The warm-up is a process of starting the spanking over her jeans or whatever outer garment she has on. Then we go through the removing of the outer garment and continue the warm-up over her panties. Then the panties are removed and more light spanking is given to the bare bottom. By now, I am telling her how much the REAL spanking is going to hurt. Often, after the warm-up, she will try to convince me that she has already been spanked enough and has learned her lesson. That never stops me from giving her bottom a good hard spanking. She expects this will happen, but I can't blame her for trying. We both like the warm-up process.

Cassie: If you asked Tom, he would say that he always gives a good warm-up. He usually does, but when he is upset with me, I can't tell that he starts off very slow. He may see it as a warm-up, but I know it's harder than usual.

Thanks to all for making this another excellent spanko Sunday brunch!

Keywords: spanking, warm-up spankings, spanko brunch

MBS Spanko Brunch #28

OK, blame my spouse for today's bizarre culinary selection! Next week, I promise we'll go back to something closer to our normal fare.

Today's topic deals with the warm-ups that often precede a spanking. In this context, a warm-up is typically a less severe spanking that helps to prepare the spankee for what follows (For an excellent description, see this post from The Viking's Wife).

Do you and your partner employ warm-ups during your spanking sessions? If so, in what situations are warm-ups used? What benefits do warm-ups provide?

I invite you to share your experience and knowledge. Please leave a comment below, send me an e-mail, or post a response on your own blog. Once everyone has submitted their responses, I will publish a summary of the discussion.

I look forward to hearing about your warm-up spankings.

Bonnie's Spankologue: Part Ten

Another week, another collection of wonderful spanko blogs. Enjoy!

Pink Bottomed Girls - Pink and Brat are a pair of twenty-something spanko lesbians. PBG is a journal of their spanking adventures. Pink is a switch, while Brat is, well, the name says it all. They occasionally involve dominant men in their play, just for a bit of spice. The writing, shared by both partners, is always intelligent and frequently very hot. Most of all, Pink and Brat offer good spankings with a heavy dash of fun. A Little Bit of Spanking - Kelly's blog could be subtitled, "In Search of Spanking." She's a dedicated spanko student. She thinks about, writes about, and longs for that perfect bottom warming. Until now, it has mostly eluded her, thus feeding the desire. Kelly, it seems, is now on the verge of a breakthrough. I so hope it's all that she dreamed and more. I invite you to stop by A Little Bit of Spanking to learn how her story progresses. Nothing Random About a Spanking - Eva is relatively new to both blogging and spanking, but she learns fast. An empty nest, a willing husband, and plenty of inspiration from the Web have allowed Eva to discover a cornucopia of erotic delights. Her spankings are a source of joy, not just for Eva and her husband, but for all who read Nothing Random. I hope she continues to share her delightful spanking experiences and insights for a long time to come.

Keywords: spanking, spankologue, spanking blogs

Introducing Welt-Minder

Ladies, does your hard day at the office sometimes begin with a hard time across your man's lap? For many of us, spankings are a practical necessity. But too often, sitting afterward can be unpleasant and bothersome. Until now, we've had little choice but to endure those painful paddle burns.

Today, however, CP laboratories introduces a revolutionary scientific beakthrough. Welt-Minder is a uniquely formulated creme especially designed to provide effective relief from the most common spanking symptoms. Applied topically to the buttocks every four hours, many spankos find that Welt-Minder helps to ease skin redness and irritation, control swelling, and reduce deep aches.

Welt-Minder should not be used by persons in cardiac arrest or those with disapproving dom syndrome. If symptoms return, discontinue use and reconsider your recent behavior.

Welt-Minder is available at all finer pharmacies and kink festivals.

Keywords: spanking, spanking humor, bottom smarts

Secretary Style

Here’s a little gem I found while tidying up my archive.

Randy and I finally rented the movie Secretary last night. We had intended to see it in the theater, but by the time we found an agreeable day, it was already gone. So now it's out on DVD, we headed off to the video rental store after dinner. We had a funny, albeit slightly paranoid, conversation en route:

R: Now that the government is monitoring video rentals, do you think we’ll end up in some data base listed as potentially dangerous spankos? B: Huh? R: You know. The government is watching everyone’s video rentals and library loans to look for terrorists. B: But we’re not terrorists. R: That’s not the point. Once our rentals get into the computer, they can use that data for anything. B: Like figuring out that we’re spankos? R: Precisely. B: Honey, how many times have you used your credit card to purchase spanking toys? R: Oh shit.

I had very mixed feelings about the film. While I loved the groundbreaking nature of this first-ever Hollywood depiction of an adult spanking relationship, it was just that – a Hollywood depiction. Worse yet was the portrayal of Lee as a recently released, self-destructive mental patient. Is this who Hollywood would have Middle America believe is your average spanko woman? Ugh!

Nevertheless, the spanking scene was very hot. We loved it. In fact, we loved it so much that Randy decided to re-enact it after the movie was over.

He had me dress in a white blouse with a dark skirt. I wore pantyhose over full white briefs just as the character in the film did. He donned a dark suit, complete with tie and jacket. We cleared off the desk in our study and I bent my body at a right angle over it. My bottom was sticking out and very vulnerable.

Randy began to spank me using that underhand technique we saw in the movie. When his palm struck my skirt, it yielded a solid thud, but in truth, it didn’t hurt that much. I think the uppercut motion prevented him from getting a good swing. Four layers of fabric (the skirt was lined) didn’t help either.

Before long, my skirt was up and my panties and pantyhose were down. Now working on the bare, Randy’s blows definitely registered. As I lay atop the wooden desk absorbing many hard spanks, my mind pictured the visual we were creating. It had to be very similar to the scene in the movie that had so turned me on. While watching that scene, I had imagined myself in just this position. As I lived it, I was truly aroused.

Mr. Grey may not have had sex with his secretary immediately following the spanking, but we diverged from the script at this point. Randy found his pleasure right on that spot. I grabbed the far lip of the desktop and held on for dear life as he aggressively penetrated me. I was in such a frenzy by this stage that I couldn’t have held off my climax had I wanted to do so. The feeling of his thrusting muscular pelvis repeatedly colliding with my freshly spanked cheeks sent my mind into orbit. It was all wonderful.

Even if we did land ourselves on some super secret government naughty spanko list, that rental was worth every cent!

Keywords: spanking, secretary spanking, spanking story, spanko

Un-Meme: The Big Picture

Here's a new meme of a different color. It has only one question, but ten answers.

What are the ten themes, thoughts, or ideas you would most like readers to take away from your blog?

Here's my list:

1. There's nothing sick, wrong, or dangerous about thinking you might want to spank or be spanked.


2. Spanking fantasies are very common.


3. Many people enjoy living out their spanking fantasies in real life.


4. There are many ways to incorporate spanking into a relationship depending upon the desires and preferences of the partners.


5. Spankings can be fun and theraputic.


6. Spankings and sex often complement each other quite nicely.


7. Those inclined to explore will learn that beyond the pain lies a treasure trove of pleasure.


8. People from every country, ethnicity, and class are interested in adult spanking.


9. Spankings within a relationship can enhance communication and trust.


10. With a few simple rules, spanking is a safe form of recreation.

If any other bloggers would like to try their hand at this un-meme, I'd love to read your answers.

Keywords: meme, blogging, My Bottom Smarts

More Spanko Cheerleaders

Even the ivy-covered walls of Harvard have spanko cheerleaders.


In case you can't decipher those well-heeled derrieres, they read "Spank Yale."

Keywords: spanking, cheerleader spanking, spanko

Panty Drawer Inventory

A while back I promised a regular reader that I would post a description of the contents of my underwear drawer. It's taken me a long while to get around to completing this assignment, but I'm ready now to indulge the panty patrol.

I have a lot of pairs of panties. No, really. I'm pretty moderate when it comes to shoes, but my underwear is out of control. I have almost every imaginable shape, style, and color. My panties run the range from delightfully comfortable to ridiculously impractical, from steamingly sexy to yawningly ho-hum, and from carefully concealing to scandalously revealing.

The funny thing is that I didn't buy most of them. Randy did! He likes the way my backside sways when I walk. He likes to decorate me to enhance the effect. As these games inevitably end with a spanking and sex, I am only too happy to play along.

It won't be practical to give you more than a representative sample of my panty drawer, but I think these highlights will provide a good sense of what can be found in there.

	These full coverage cotton briefs are my "old reliables." Every woman has a few pairs that are reserved for those days when she needs comfort and convenience above all. The pair shown is white, but I have them in a number of different hues. These are Wise Buys briefs from Maidenform. Hey, I am a granny, so I don't want to hear about it!
	Let's hope there is always room in our lives for elegance. These shiny, nylon and lycra briefs gently whisper refinement with each step I take. When I attend the theater wearing that stylish dress, chances are these are the panties hiding underneath. I believe Randy bought them at Nordstrom. I have several more pairs, including one that is red!
	When I'm feeling happy and confident, I'm most likely to slip on these cotton high cut briefs from Jockey for Her. They're comfy without being conservative. Randy says the elasticized leg openings make 'V' lines across the back, but I don't care. Speaking of Randy, when he spanks, he is as likely to slide these up as pull them down.
	At our house, thongs are synonymous with spankings. As I've said, I consider comfort and practicality essential qualities in underwear. I know many women love their thongs, but they aren't my first choice - Unless, of course, it's spanking time. When I decide I want a vigorous spanking, I need only step into one of these pink VS thongs. It's all the signal Randy needs to send me to sore rump city. He loves how the thong frames my target as he swats.

OK, panty enthusiasts, that's what's in my underwear drawer.

Keywords: panty, panties, underwear, briefs, thong

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for July 23

Well now. That was more fun than a double chocolate muffin. I loved hearing about your toy collections.

Hidden Flames: Is there a time when you don’t have a list of things you still want? R and I have not been living the D/s life very long. We don’t have much money to buy toys. We do have a few.

We have various clips, weighted clips, ropes - and your standard dildos. I love the clothes pins. They’re simple, yet effective! We also have a simple homemade blindfold that enhances the effects of every other toy!

He has his eye on making several different bondage benches/racks.

Our best toy, however, is our own imagination. We have been forced to be extremely creative in our play, due to our lack of funds to buy and make toys!

Tony: We sometimes use a ginger root butt plug during a spanking session. It provides a burning sensation from the inside out while the spanking provides a burning sensation from the outside in. This is known as figging.

Mistress Sky: Raven almost always starts off with a pink latex flogger, then a heavier flogger, then his hands, then often employs a riding crop and, if I've been really naughty, the cane! Then he winds back down again in reverse order. Mmm! I shouldn't have started this. You've got me going already (and today there just isn't time to play). Afterwards, of course, the sex is always excellent. What more could this girl want?

Cuddlybum: We have a selection of butt plugs, vibrators, handcuffs, dressing up clothes, etc. Actually, it’s amazing how many we have.

Mostly, though, it’s us! That’s the main attraction. The toys are mere accessories and don't really matter at all in the end. The handcuffs are the best in my experience. I like that feeling of being caught and not able to escape and having to submit whether you like it or not. My collar makes me feel the same way. It means most of the flirting has to come through my eyes rather than my hands and we both love it!

Jean Marie: Growing up, a girlfriend's mother used to employ a ritual of sitting the offending daughter down on her bed and lecturing her while she brushed her hair back, then tied it with a piece of velvety ribbon. This was to keep the girl's hair out of her face when she was turned over the knee and spanked with the (same) hairbrush. When my friend told me about this, I thought it was sexy. I told my lover years later. Soon thereafter, he came home with a whole long roll of velvety ribbon on a cardboard spool, and put it and a big hairbrush on the bed. I saw it and wet my pants. We employ this ritual sometimes, and it's just as sexy as it sounds.

This has opened the door for improvisation. I've been blindfolded with a length of ribbon before a spanking, which makes it even more sensual. I gift-wrapped my naked body once with just a length of this ribbon, tied with a bow at my butt, and greeted my lover at the door that way as a present.

The only difference is, my childhood girlfriend had black ribbon because it was somber and funereal to get spanked, whereas we employ scarlet red ribbon, which my lover then tries to match by spanking me crimson.

So, I have several different sized butt plugs, and a whole host of implements, but the ribbon is special.

Bonnie: We have plenty of toys that are not spanking implements. Our collection includes vibrators, blindfolds, bondage cuffs, plugs, oils and lubricants, and a bunch of DIY restraints.

My favorite would have to be the vibrators. When properly applied, they can send me straight to the stratosphere. Occasionally, Randy will take one in each hand for a mind-blowing buzzing duet.

I'm also fond of Randy's DIY bondage equipment. We don't have a lot of fancy restraints, other than my cuffs. He likes to tie me up with scarves or pantyhose. He also attaches ropes or bungees to my cuffs. Finally, he constructed an effective spreader bar from a wooden rod.

It's all good fun!

CeeCi: On my last trip to the grocery store I added two more rulers bringing our collection to seven. These new rulers are rubbery and extremely flexible, unlike the other five that are plastic and rigid.

Our collection of toys has been growing and growing. It's amazing all the things we have discovered to enhance our time together.

One discovery lead to over 8,000 hits when I wrote about it and Bacchus linked the post to ErosBlog... the infamous Gilette Fusion Razor vibe. When the blade is removed there's a little bitty knob at the end of the unit. When the tip is applied to the right spot, it can send me into orgasmic orbit!

Tigger Too: We have several things that we use. Among them are several vibrators, the Hitachi Magic Wand being my favorite! Then there's the Ripple butt plug, which I absolutely love! And our newest toy is the KY Warming Massage Oil! I absolutely love when my hubby massages my red-hot bottom with it after a spanking! Not only do I get a fantastic massage, but it makes my bottom feel hotter and even more stingy! It's completely and totally yummy!

kk: Yes, we have used all of the above, except for the ribbon idea. My very first spanking from Master had me handcuffed bent over a bed with legs spread and tied with a butt plug inside. I knew I had found the right man for me that day. We also have used the ginger root on occasion to really fire up my backside.

Mayye: Ummm… Ginger root and plugs! Yesterday, I made the 10 hour round trip journey to Valdosta, GA and back to get my son. I saw lots of billboards advertising upscale adult stores. My sweetie and I have just begun putting together a toy chest. We have discussed how terribly sexy and embarrassing it would be to take a shopping trip together!

Brian: We have a couple of non-functioning vibrators (the vibrating part, we know where the pointy end goes). As for other toys, we're not called Ma and Pa Kettle for nothing. We aren't very adventuresome.

Rose: Wow. I always feel like such a novice when I come to brunch! Toys, hmmm... Well, I do have this favorite vibrating butt plug that I like sometimes when being spanked. And Jefferson has a plug that he uses sometimes when spanking me. Most of the time, the double sensations really send me over the edge. But honestly, I so love a good spanking, and love to be bound during them, that I would gladly take just the spanking implements used for the day along with being restrained. That’s pure bliss for me!

I have a new play partner on the horizon. He's got a few tricks up his sleeve, so I'll probably be less of a novice and have more to add!

Bratscorcher: A bright red ball gag! Sometimes when in a hotel or when you are in one of those little cabins on a cruise ship, it is important to keep the spankee from crying out too loudly. Filling my beautiful wife's mouth with a bright red ball gag has come in very handy. It allows for a good sound spanking to be administered without alarming the entire hotel or ship. Only plaintive and urgent mewing and begging can be heard from my sweet sexy wife as her bottom receives very necessary correction. The added benefit is that seeing her beautiful lips formed around the bright red ball accentuates and heightens the sensuality of her already quite lovely mouth.

(BTW, I LOVED Jean Marie’s story of the naughty girl having her hair tied with the ribbon. My, that is HOT HOT HOT! Indeed, it is very important for the hair to be kept out of the way so the spanker can have a clear view of the naughty girl's beautiful face so as to be able to appreciate her expressions of sorrow, shame and agony. Very nice indeed!)

Paul: Our favourite toys, but not spanking implements. Let’s see…

One was the schoolgirl’s uniform, Mel's favourite. She would happily take a good caning and I mean happily, almost as hard as a hard punishment, and positively dive into subspace.

We also had a harem girl’s outfit made of diaphanous gauze. I also made two lightweight whips which had good sting, but no thud. Mel was cuffed to the bedposts or newel post at the bottom of the stairs. As she was whipped, the clothes would slip off and she would dance and wriggle. She loved every moment and so did I. After the whipping, we often couldn't wait to untie her and the sex was glorious.

To add the final touch, I would lay Mel on our bed, take our large bottle of White Horse muscle embrocation, and rub in the embrocation well all over her body. This ensured that her muscles relaxed and that the glow created by the whips lasted a lot longer.

Now I think I'd better take a cold shower. *G*

Mija: My first thought was... nothing. I guess that goes to show how much these things have become just part of WIIWD.

Things we use (at least sometimes):

• Lots of dressing up stuff, especially school uniforms, stiff collared shirts and school knickers
• A corner of the room (is that a thing?)
• A high stool or a regular chair (for bending or being tied over)
• Pillows
• Rectal thermometer (o-the-shame)
• Plug (o the shame)
• Enema stuff (O THE SHAME)

Use rarely:

• Wrist cuffs
• Blindfold
• Vibrating egg
• School book / notebooks and the like

Things we don't have but I'd like to get:

• Spreader bar
• Adult sized school desk
• School room / "play" room (in my wildest dreams)

Cameo: Lesseee... What have I used other than implements as toys?

• Hands - definitely hands. I know a guy who has extremely MAGIC fingers, holy CRAP can he work magic with them!
• Plugs, vibes, dildos, of course
• Cuffs, ropes for some light bondage. Gags and blindfolds for extreme (for me) fun.

I’m not real adventurous in the toy department, I think. LOL!

Tigger: We have tons of sex-related stuff, including all of the boringly traditional clips and clothespins, lube and vibrators, dildos and butt plugs. But our "collection" literally spans every room in the hosue at any given moment and I've been "entertained" by a strip of molding from the wall, every part of the Venetian blinds, teased with swimming pool "noodles" and taunted with phone cord.

For Dante and I, the real question is only whether there is anything that we wouldn't be willing to try at least once? (This from the girl who mooned the train a year or so ago, he, he).


Thanks to everyone who participated. By the way, my hit counter passed 700,000 during today's brunch. On this occasion, I want to extend my heartfelt thanks for all the love and support you've sent me. Your words and your friendship continue to inspire.

Keywords: spanking, spanking toys, bondage, spanko brunch

MBS Spanko Brunch #27

After last week's comparatively serious topic, it's time again for some fun and games. I propose we talk about our toys, but with a slight twist.

Other than spanking implements, are there any toys you employ during a spanking session? If so, please describe your favorites and how they enhance your experience. If not, are there any such toys that you would like to own?

I invite you to share your knowledge and experience. Please leave a comment below, send me an e-mail, or post a response on your own blog. Once everyone has submitted their responses, I will publish a summary of the discussion.

I look forward to hearing about your favorite toys.

Bonnie's Spankologue: Part Nine

The spankologue is our continuing tour of quality spanko blogs. This week, the hits just keep coming as we examine three more great destinations.

Life as slave kk - kk is living every moment of a joyful metamorphosis from long time closet submissive to happy erotic explorer. In the process, she has acquired a love for serving her Master and Mistress, intimacy with both genders, exhibitionism, and all sorts of caning, cropping, paddling, and flogging fun. Through it all, kk remains delightfully receptive to each new experience. Her diary contains a wealth of hot adventures. Spanked Minxy Wife - Minx is a spanked wife living in the UK. Her blog offers a rich mix of real life adventures, original fiction, cartoons, humour, and fun pictures from the Web. She and her husband, EH, obviously enjoy a good spanking, and she gets plenty to describe. Their sessions range from erotic to disciplinary. For some good spanking fun, I recommend Spanked Minxy Wife. Breathing In and Breathing Out - Dyke Grrl is a happily partnered lesbian spanko, graduate student, and author. BI&BO, now entering its second year, is essentially her life journal. It covers the expected spanking and relationship issues, but adds topics such as smoking cessation and dealing with past child abuse. Dyke Grrl can be alternately clever, mischievous, analytical, or passionate. This range, combined with excellent writing skills, makes her a fine diarist and a voice worth hearing.

Keywords: spanking, spankologue, spanking blogs

For Those Who Love Cheerleaders...

Every time I so much as mention the word "cheerleader" in a post, I get lots of comments and my e-mail box overflows. Obviously, my husband Randy isn't the only spanko who has a thing for cheerleaders. Accordingly, here's your Friday dose of spanko cheerleaders.



Keywords: spanking, cheerleader spanking, spanko

Echos of Spankings Past

As I've mentioned before, very few people visited this blog during its first few months of life. During that time, I posted many of the very best stories from my archive in hopes of gaining readers. In the long run, this strategy was successful, but most of you missed these tales. In order to set things right, I would like to present for your reading pleasure some more literary highlights from the early days of MBS.

Getting to the Seat of the Problem - Even a tired Randy will spank given adequate provocation

Leap of Faith - A simple stress relief spanking evolves into something more

Two's Wild (Part One) - Wonderful weekend festivities

Two's Wild (Conclusion) - Lots more of the same, only different!

Business Woman's Special - A quickie, spanko-style

I hope you enjoy these tales of bared flesh and rollicking lust. I certainly did!

Keywords: spanking, spanked, spanking stories, bottom smarts

Quiz: Are You a Hardcore Spanko?

You scored as Hardcore Spanko. You are a spanko through and through. It's both in your genes and in your jeans. Spanking is a thrill you definitely want as part of your life. This quiz was brought to you by My Bottom Smarts. Hardcore Spanko 98% Softcore Spanko 3% Am I a Hardcore Spanko? created with QuizFarm.com

Hint: If you want to post your results in a blog and it messes up the format, try leaving out the bar graph.

Keywords: spanking, spanking quiz

My Personal Delurk Invitation

About six months ago, I participated in something called Delurk Week. The idea was that silent readers were encouraged to say hello by leaving a comment. It was a tremendous success. Delurk Week provided an opportunity to meet many wonderful people who share in this thing we do. Several remain friends to this day.

I think it's time we tried this concept again. To all our lovely lurkers out there in Cyberspace, I invite you to peek your heads around the corner just long enough to let us know you're there. Leave a message. If you wish to tell us about yourself, that's wonderful, but by no means required. I'm not fishing for praise, but if you have constructive suggestions concerning the blog, I'd love to hear them.

Thank you in advance for your participation. I look forward to welcoming you.

Keywords: delurk, blogging, My Bottom Smarts

Ten Reasons to Shut Up and Take Your Spanking

You'll feel better afterward Pink is so your color We have other things to do today A spanking never killed anyone The pain is cathartic It's the submissive thing to do It'll keep you from sitting around all day Spankings are a big turn-on C'mon, it'll be fun You deserve it!

Keywords: spanking, spanking humor, spanko, bottom smarts

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for July 16

Our topic this week dealt with whether and how to convert a vanilla partner. Once again, your responses were diverse, interesting, and thought-provoking.

I would like to welcome the new participants this week. I'm glad you stopped by and I hope you'll join us again.

Doc: This is a particularly interesting question for me at the moment. I have a vanilla partner and a double chocolate spanking kink. We've been in a relationship for almost a year now and it was only last week that I finally “came out.” It hasn't really been addressed, but small things have happened since I admitted my needs.

My partner is now endeavoring to see what they are comfortable with, and I find myself positively quivering with the anticipation and possibilities.

I think what really helped was when they discovered my erotica and politely asked to borrow it. Seeing as it is my only “naughty book” and visibly well used, I think they understand that I am interested in its contents (The sleeping beauty series by Anne Rice). I think a conversation that doesn't put pressure on the vanilla partner is the way to go. If you and your partner are truly good for one another, they will see how well you respond. I know that mine is noticing.

Cuddlybum: Well, it depends on what you mean by “converting.” I hadn't been spanked before the beloved came along and he wasn't interested in spanking before I came along. But when I mentioned it and we started trying it, we both enjoyed it!

I didn't actually didn't bring it up - the beloved found some books that, ahem, naturally fall open to certain pages. He couldn't believe I had books and books of sex-filled scenes and they all opened on the spanking scenes! So we talked, and then we tried it, and things went on from there.

If it came to a choice between the spanking and the beloved, I'd pick the beloved every time. It’s only a facet of our relationship and not the entirety. He's so much more than spanking to me, and I never want to lose him.

Jean Marie: The previous two postings are lovely. I wish that I were writing something similar, but my experience is different.

I've tried to "convert" a vanilla partner before. The enticement of hot sex was enough to intrigue this guy into following my none-too-subtle suggestions to both initially try spanking me, and then doing it progressively harder (Excuse my cynicism, but most men are horn-dogs). Even though I was getting what I wanted, I felt indulged. It wasn't really shared. It was always at my suggestion. It wasn't spontaneous. Therefore, it wasn't enough. I ended the relationship, and vowed that I'd only get involved with people who are dyed-in-the-wool, hard-core, deep-down, all the way to the bone kinky from then on.

I still haven't found that true love, even though I'm in a monogamous (monotonous) relationship that features regular spankings. I don't think I could be unfaithful and get that vital aspect elsewhere. Maybe if I found absolute true love with someone who was vanilla, I would grow to feel differently, and seek spankings elsewhere. But that situation would seem even more desperate than the one I'm in. I could not give up the need for frequent and varietal spankings. I could more easily give up the need to breathe.

Mike: I think it depends on what you need in a spanking relationship. If a nice erotic spanking in foreplay is what you want, I think it's entirely possible to "convert" someone. As long as both people are interested in pleasing the other, I think once the spankee’s desires are known, things could work.

Like Jean Marie said, though, I don't think it would always be the perfect fantasy spanking. As for a DD relationship, I think it would be very difficult, but I'm sure it's happened.

Paul: I could possibly convert a vanilla partner to spanking by emphasising the foreplay aspects. But I don't see this as a long term solution. Seeking this sort of relationship outside of a long term partnership strikes me as rather dangerous.

For me, spanking is so tied in with intimacy that sharing would almost certainly lead to a breakup and a lot of pain for both partners.
Tread very carefully, "here be dragons."

Scarlett: I could talk on this subject for ages!

I am in a vanilla marriage to a man I adore. I have really tried to convert him over the years, by buying books (and leaving them next to the bed), toys (in the bed!), dropping hints, having heartfelt discussions, you name it. I have tried it all. My ongoing efforts are to simply act submissively around him to allow him the control. Still, he does not grasp that control I so want him to take.

Without going into too much detail, I have resigned myself sadly to the fact he is not interested and, if anything, he is submissive himself.

I had three options:

1. Ignore my submissive nature/need to be spanked and focus on our marriage
2. Seek a spanko relationship outside of the marriage either with or without his consent
3. Leave the marriage

I tried the first option for a long time, but I could not contain my desire to get spanking experience. I am now working on option two (without his consent) and I am treading an emotional high-wire. To do it with his consent is perhaps the next stage. The final option is something I shudder to contemplate just now.

So in answer to your questions:

Do I think it's possible / practical to "convert" a vanilla partner? If he hasn’t a dominant bone in his body, then he can not be converted. If anyone knows of any new technique that works I will reward them handsomely.

Would I consider ending the relationship? I would and I have, but it is not a viable option for me personally (for a variety of reasons that I can not go in to here)

Would I give up my kink altogether? I tried it and could not. I can not renounce my sexual being and I am a happier person, wife and parent since I have explored my kink outside of my marriage.

I do not want harsh judgments (I have had enough of that on my blog!), but this whole subject is an area in which I have a fair amount of experience and just wanted to share it.

Brian: I am a spanko, more of a dom, but with switch tendencies. My wife was/is strictly vanilla. I have given her birthday *spankings* for years, but she refused anything more. Her reasons are sound - She was punished as a child, spankings hurt, and there was no sexual aspect.

This changed several months ago. She has been getting therapy for depression for decades with little results. I suggested, half-jokingly, that she needed a session with Dr. Discipline. She agreed! Well, I dressed up, we met, we talked about safe words, she went over my knee, panties down, and Dr. D and my wife talked about problems in her life while he spanked her bare bottom, hard, for an hour.

After several sessions, she became more open, happier, and worked without nagging. She admitted she needed discipline in her life. Dr D. assigned her reading. She loved the Beauty series (the Prince was a wimp). Now she demands a spanking every morning before I go to work. She likes the tingle. Is she totally non-vanilla now? No. She refuses any implement, she's not a submissive, and spanking still doesn't do "it" for her. Still, we are both much happier now with spanking in our lives.

Anon: I think it’s very difficult to change a vanilla partner. I'm still trying and have had limited success. Most times, I just hide my need. It’s sad, but true. It’s just not in him. I love him and that's the most important thing to me.

I’ve tried seeking spankings elsewhere, but the sad reality was that I really wanted my partner. So, there wasn’t a whole lot of satisfaction there, even though my need was met. I got to experience it. However, the damage after all was said and done was just awful.

Now, I live vicariously through the blogs. Thank God for you all! And occasionally I get what I need, if I ask (it’s just hard to ask).

Curtis: I’m a switch who recently ended a 25-year marriage to a woman who played spanking games during courtship, while we lived together, and for one year after marriage. Then she announced she didn't like it and we had virtually no sex for twenty years. This was not the only reason for divorce, but we held together because of a child. Based upon this experience, I can say that you'll never be able to fully sublimate the desire for spanking activity and, if at all possible, one should find a partner who is into spanking, a partner who can be converted into spanking, or a partner who will explicitly and overtly allow you to pursue your spanking interest while married. Otherwise, you're going to be unhappy, as I was, until I broke out.

I have found that you can convert almost any woman to being spanked if her bottom is an erogenous zone and if you're not (at least at first and, for me, at any time) playing out dominant/submissive fantasies or painfully punitive approaches. If the bottom is an erogenous zone, spanking can lead to great sexual arousal. As foreplay, or in and of itself, playful spanking can be seen as fun. Getting a woman who is not so inclined to be a spanker tends to be more difficult. But I've found that if you approach it in the spirit of mutual play, or if she is emotionally involved with you and wants to please, you can usually persuade her that what's fun and arousing for her can be for you as well. Getting them to do it "right," or according to your needs and desires tends to be a work in progress.

John: I was born and hard-wired into the spanking world. I was married to a wonderful woman who recently passed away. She was pure vanilla and not available to entertain this subject at all. In the future, when I do make contact with women, I will be very up front about my spanko needs. I do not abuse women in any way, but do need a lady who is titillated by all of this. I find it hard to believe that one can convert a non-spanking friend into a great spanking partner. I believe that this underlying thread is and always was there. Sometimes, it may have just been sleeping for years.

Dyke Grrl: I guess I'm lucky. My wife wasn't precisely vanilla when we met, but she wasn't into spanking per se. In fact, she was uncomfortable with the idea. There are a lot of posts on my blog about the process of moving from the mostly pleasurable spankings I'd asked for and received early on in our relationship to the slightly more DD flavored relationship we've got now.

I think some of "conversion" is a matter of compromise: how much is each partner willing to do for the other partner's benefit. I think it's not just about the spanko partner getting their needs met, but also about the non-spanko partner feeling like there is give and take in the relationship.

The main technique I suggest? Talking ("processing," as my lesbian-feminist crowd refers to it). Talking, and compromise. And being willing to take your time with it. But be direct: I think a non-spanko just isn't inclined to pick up on those subtle hints. And even if they do, I suspect many people are reluctant to do something seemingly abusive (say, spank you for bratting because they're annoyed by it).

Actually, as I read other people's blogs, I think that communication and compromise are vital, whether or not one of the partners was originally vanilla.

I've got only sympathy for those people who love someone who is staunchly, steadfastly vanilla, or who reacts with disgust when they bring it up. As it stands, I will stay with my wife, and continue this process of communication and compromise.

Oh, and one more tip for those not currently in a relationship: at the beginning, when you have less to lose, take a chance and bring it up. It lays a foundation for later change. And I do mean bring it up directly: it's incredibly hard, but, well, it leaves the least room for misunderstanding.

Damnation's Cellar: I think it's possible to convert a partner, but I have the impression that this is successful less often than not. I've tried giving up the kink and have found in no uncertain terms that it's not a viable option for me. So that leaves the second choice, seeking kink elsewhere.

I am lucky enough to have a partner who is open-minded and tries to really hear me and understand my feelings. It took quite a while to get here, but we're polyamorous now and it seems to be working well for us. Being able to pursue other relationships without secrecy has made all the difference. And it's one of those things that never would have happened if one of us hadn't had the courage to bring it up. So talk and compromise are major components in our relationship.

I know polyamory isn't for everyone. I feel extremely fortunate that it's working well for us.

Mary: I would say that it may be hard to totally convert a vanilla, but that a spouse that seeks your pleasure will be willing to play. It may be easier if you tried role play to start, perhaps relieving the spanker of any guilt that spanking his true love would bring. You could play someone he actually would relish spanking. As with all things, communication is the key. Good luck.

Rose: That’s a question asked often by my present roommate in her quest to understand my alternative sexual desires. I'm lucky to be in a place that allows me the freedom to choose my partners based on, among other things, their involvement in BDSM.

If I had a partner who was vanilla, I would start by encouraging some reading to help them understand the feelings, the kink. There's a book I ran across with a great section on how to convert a vanilla partner. I would also strive for a great deal of conversation on the subject, taking in both points of view and strive for some sort of way to at least try the kink.

If these things didn't work, I would probably broach the subject of possible play outside the relationship, for spankings.

Giving up a relationship for spankings or other aspects of BDSM would seem a little harsh. However, knowing how deep those feelings run, it would eventually, I believe, hurt the relationship anyway. I've met too many frustrated men who have vanilla wives and are looking elsewhere behind her back. That’s never a good thing. I've also met women who are just as frustrated and looking outside the marriage.

Giving up the kink would seem smart in one way. However, if it's such an ingrained part of a person's desires, is that fair? It’s a complicated question that I think would need to be worked out between the two people involved. I'm not sure there's an easy or sure fire way to solve this one. But at the beginnings, explaining the kink, opening a dialogue, and reading are all good places to start.

Tigger Too: My advice is to be honest with your partner about your love of spanking. Technically, we all star out vanilla, even us spankos, so it's likely that your partner, no matter how "vanilla" you think they are, is just as into spanking as your are, or is at least willing to give it a try. And even if your partner's not totally into spanking, he or she might still be willing to try it, just as he or she would be willing to give anything sexual a try.

If your partner is not into spanking at all, and won't even give it a try, then you really need to evaluate how important spanking is to you. I wouldn't suggest looking outside your relationship, especially if the spanking is of a sexual nature, unless your partner is completely 100% in agreement, and even then, you really need to give it a lot of thought.

Frank Spanko: I believe that it is possible to convince a "vanilla" partner to become one who spanks. I do not think it is likely that you could convince them to be spanked.

If you are open and honest with your partner, I believe that they could become comfortable spanking you. You would have to start slowly and respond with sexual excitement so that your partner knows that you are enjoying the experience. You would also have to be willing to go the extra step to satisfy them sexually, including indulging their fantasies.

I, personally, would not leave a woman if I otherwise loved her in every way. Were Angela to not be a spanko, I'd still be married to and totally in love with her. I'm not sure how I would try to satisfy my desire for spanking. Perhaps I would attempt to discreetly paddle myself. However, if we had an otherwise satisfying sex life, I would suspect that I would not find the spanking urge overwhelming.

Bratscorcher: You are generally facing a LOW probability of success with any conversion efforts. And "giving up the kink" is equal parts undesirable and impossible.

If one is early in a relationship and it looks like you are with a vanilla, I recommend moving on. Don't bother to psychoanalyze or assign blame, just wish them well and move on.

If you are married and not in a position to be able to "move on," I think Mary's suggestion above regarding role-playing is excellent. If you are, for example, a naughty schoolgirl and your husband learns that giving you a good scolding and a spanking is going to lead to ravenously delicious experiences afterwards, then your showing up in the bedroom with your plaid pleated schoolgirl skirt, looking coy and presenting the paddle (or cane!) is probably going to have him panting like Pavlov's dog in no time (Hmm, maybe conversion is possible). In any case, I wish all those struggling in such a situation the best.

Tigger: I can speak from experience, but I'd rather let Dante speak for himself. He was vanilla when we got together and he picked it up quickly in some respects, but less so in others. Oh, he liked the spanking (because of my reaction) from the beginning, but he had difficulty with causing me pain to bring me pleasure and still has some issues about the whole punishment spanking thing.

I think he will be of more help on this then me, so I'll defer to him...

Dante: My advice is to not throw away the relationship or get it elsewhere (the same thing), and don't assume that your vanilla may not like a little flavoring.

Veronica: When my partner and I first started seeing each other, I had never been spanked and he had never spanked anyone. He was pretty vanilla at first, but now he's very willing to try anything I suggest (as long as I'm the one on the receiving end!). We don't have a DD relationship, ours is purely erotic. Sex will always follow a good spanking.

At first, he had a difficult time with some things. He was afraid he was going to hurt me and the thought of inflicting pain on me really messed with his head a little bit. Once he learned that spanking was such a big turn on for me, he started to come around. Anything that turns me on turns him on (like Jean Marie said, most men are horn-dogs LOL). Since the spanking aspect of our relationship has blossomed, he's told me that he never thought he could be so turned on by it or have so much fun with it.

Like any other part of a loving relationship, spanking should be discussed and both parties needs and concerns need to be addressed. Openness and honesty are very important. I wouldn't end my relationship if he was suddenly became disinterested in spanking. I'd just want to know why. I'm very much in love and every other aspect of our sex life is great.

Elis: I kept my love of spanking a complete secret from my husband for 19 years. We tried a bit, but then aging parents and other distractions caused us to let it die out. I have recently brought it up again and, as before, my wonderful vanilla husband has embraced the idea with relish.

I don't think that he knows how much I desire it. And he may not realize that I might at some point want to explore a DD relationship (after the kids leave home). But he seems to be willing to read the blogs I suggest and explore, so what more could I ask? Yes, conversion seems possible. But if it wasn't, I would still be with him for as long as he will have me.

Grace: This is such a complex question. There is no yes or no answer. It depends on the person you’re trying to convert. If that person is open to something like this, you’re going to have a much easier time converting. If this person doesn't like this type of thing, getting them to change probably won't happen. It sounds simple, but it's not really.

You can only convert a person if they want to be converted. If you keep trying and it doesn't work, it will only hurt your relationship. If there is no compromise to be made between the two of you, then you need to decide how important it truly is to you.

I converted Bossman with a lot of talking, talking, talking. I wrote him a lot of letters, I wrote him stories, and I shared stories that I read with him. There was a lot of trial and error. There still is. This is something we work on daily. We also had to learn to compromise. What I wanted may not be exactly the way it turns out, and that is OK. Sometimes things look much better on paper than they do when you try to do it.

I would never give up my relationship with Bossman for spanking. But that's just me. Bossman means more to me than spanking ever will. For me, spanking is a fantasy. I am just lucky enough to live out my fantasy. Not everyone can say that.

CeeCi: MoJo knew from the first moment he spoke with me that I was what he was looking for in a life partner. He knew and sensed things within me I'd never revealed to anyone let alone myself.

Slowly and patiently, he introduced this seemingly vanilla woman to the beauty of her submissive nature. Gently, he guided me and introduced me to the wealth of information to be found online. I learned, I embraced, I grew and I crave much of what I've encountered.

I don't have any clue as to how to convert a vanilla lover except to lead with love. It's important that we share our sexual desires with our intimate partners. Denying them the knowledge of what we need really denies it for both people in the relationship. If our partner is unable to accept or participate in our form of play, then it is time to honestly look at the relationship. We cannot change another person. We can only change ourselves and if the partnership is unsatisfying then the questions will fall into place and the answers will present themselves.

Further, I agree with Paul, seeking to have any sexual need gratified outside of a committed relationship is dangerous and I would add, foolish. Very, very few people have the ability to view any sexual contact as "casual" or "scratching an itch." From my own experiences, too many people get hurt when one partner steps outside the relationship for any reason.

I hope I didn't sound too preachy with my words. As Paul said, "tread carefully, here be dragons."

Mistress Sky: Being a Domme, I don't feel qualified to comment, because I love both spanking a subbie and being spanked by the Raven. I wonder if when you broach the subject to a vanilla partner, they'd just think you were downright kinky and blow you out (I suspect this would be so in many cases in the UK, as we're discouraged from being liberal/liberated). If it's that important a need, it must surely be addressed. Maybe the submissive wife should try a little role reversal in the bedroom? This is probably not very helpful. Sorry, Scarlett got me thinking too much.

Kittygirl: I think it is easier to be a spanko or convert a vanilla now than at any other time in history, because of wonderful blogs like this. If it weren't for all the words and ponderings from bloggers all over, I may not have come to terms with my kinky desires. Spanking is becoming more mainstream. As spanking becomes more accepted, non-spankos will feel more comfortable with exploring spanking. What has worked for me is getting the guts to tell my partner my needs, and then combining spanking with lots of blow jobs.

Scarlett: I have to agree with Kittygirl that blogs such as this, and the Internet in general, have opened up a whole new perspective enabling people to accept their kinks as normal and healthy.

Mistress Sky's idea about role reversal is an option I had not considered. I think I know deep down that I can only release the submissive I have within me with the one that I love (my husband) and with anyone else it is a pale carbon copy of the real me, because the foundation stones of love and trust implicit in a D/s relationship can only be given unreservedly to that one person.

Thank you to everyone who has posted here today for their thoughts and big thanks to you Bonnie for a really interesting topic.

kk: I’ve been there and tried that. You cannot make good wine with bad grapes. I asked my vanilla hubby to spank me once and I thought he was going to call the guys in the white coats to come pick me up. He thought I was sick and needed help. Well, I found help, but not the kind he was thinking of.

J: My wife and I were high school sweeties and got married post-college. Neither of us has ever seriously dated anyone else. I did not know that I was kinky or that she was vanilla (a mixed marriage?). Our evolution into whatever we are now happened extremely gradually.

I consider myself very lucky to have a wife who is willing to indulge almost every one of fantasies, even when they are not her own. The only problem that it ever causes is that the more we 'play' the more I want to, and for her, it is about the opposite.

We had been married about 15 years the first time I spanked her (on her 39th birthday). Her response was, "after 15 years of tying me up I was wondering if you would ever get around to that!"

Sex in general, and kink specifically, are only a part of what we have together. If she told me she never wanted to play again, I would throw my toys away. Thankfully, I get to have the love of my life, and a willing bottom to occasionally smack as well!

Bonnie: This was a question asked of me by a reader. I didn't know the answer, but I knew all of you would.

Anon: I am new to this blog, but I found your question very interesting. I am in the process of trying to find a non-vanilla partner. I have been separated for four years and that started because of not just spanking, but sex in general. I wanted to talk openly and honestly about spanking among other things. All that I got was that I was a pervert and she was being forced to be a performer. She thought I was weird for even wanting to think about anything other than a vanilla relationship. Well, sorry, but that is not me. So now I find myself trying to find a non-vanilla play partner. But living in Minnesota makes it seem impossible.

Jade: My vanilla beau spanks me because he knows it turns me on--and he likes doing that. I introduced him to it early in our relationship by sharing stories from the web that I found arousing. Now, he has become an expert spanker. Almost, too good sometimes... ;-)

Fanny Annie: I must agree with Scarlett on this one. My husband did spank for awhile, I believe to indulge my fantasy. I would be willing to accept it, but there are many other issues in our marriage, so spanking was the first thing to go several months ago.

In an effort to hurt my feelings, he said, "I think it's sick and disgusting of you to want to be spanked." Yes, that is a quote, sad to say. He did give me a birthday spanking a couple months ago after I'd been hinting around all day that I wanted one.

I have recently been meeting with someone, who satisfies my desire for spanking without the pressure of a sexual relationship. His wife is usually in the next room listening. She may even decide to spank me one of these days. Unfortunately, although I am more comfortable in my skin than ever, I have had to do this without my husband's consent and knowledge. I wish it were different, but I, too, have my reasons for staying married, which I'd rather not discuss here.

I just love the breadth of experience and perspectives. Thank you all!

Keywords: spanking, spanking relationship, spanking partner, spanko brunch

MBS Spanko Brunch #26

          
Several weeks ago, we discussed methods for finding the spanko of your dreams. For many people, however, starting over is not a reasonable option. These folks are in a relationship with an otherwise worthy, but utterly vanilla partner. Our question today examines this dilemma.

Do you think it's possible / practical to "convert" a vanilla partner? If so, what techniques would you suggest? If not, would you consider ending the relationship, seeking spankings elsewhere, or giving up the kink altogether?

I invite you to share your insights and experiences. Please leave a comment below, send me an e-mail, or post a response on your own blog. Once everyone has submitted their responses, I will publish a summary of the discussion.

Thank you, as always, for your thoughtful wisdom.

My Blogging Smarts Again

I promised a third installment in my series on blogging tips and this is it. For reference, my two previous posts on the subject can be found here and here.

For readers who find the mechanics of blogging boring and/or irrelevant, I encourage you to scroll down for the good stuff just below this post.

For everyone else, I'm no expert, but I've learned a good bit about blogging over the past nine months. As with the Spanking 101 tutorials, my sincere hope is that you can learn the easy way some of the lessons that were difficult for me.

Here’s a six-pack of blogging tips.

1. Work to build a critical mass of regular readers. Everyone likes participatory activities. It’s fun to share perspectives and compare notes. In fact, this interactivity might be the best part of blogging. However, these techniques work best when a blog has attracted a loyal core of readers. Even if you’re not interested in serving a large reader base, you can improve the quality of your content simply by attracting more visitors (and better content, in turn, brings in still more readers!).


2. Prepare some articles in advance. If you strive to retain readers, it’s important to post regularly. Stale content spells trouble for any blog. Yet, real life circumstances can prevent a blogger from being able to write something every day. The answer is to prepare some posts in advance. These posts can then be used when time and energy are at a premium. It reduces stress on the blogger and keeps the blog fresh and original.


3. Know your filler. The word filler connotes something undesirable and of low quality. In the world of blogging, however, a little filler is essential. If you expect to post more than once or twice per week (and enjoy a life beyond the Internet), it’s unrealistic to think you can post your very best, most creative work every time.
   
   Hence, there is filler. For me, this means top ten lists, references to clever or noteworthy happenings on other blogs, search keywords, polls, and so forth. These are quick, easy, and if done well, entertaining. It’s ironic that more than once readers have told me that what I considered to be filler was their favorite post.


4. Learn some basic HTML. For many bloggers, HTML (you know, that funny code with all of the greater than and less than signs) can be intimidating. Yet knowing some HTML is the key to making your blog more attractive and more functional. Here are a few basics:
   
   To make text bold, use the tag <b> before the text and the closing tag </b> after. For example,
   
             <b>This text is bold</b>
   
   To make text italicized, the technique is the same, except the letter ‘i’ is substituted for ‘b’ inside the tag.
   
             <i>This text is italicized</i>
   
   To create a link within your text, the <a> tag is used. For example, if I want to add a link to my blog, I can do it this way:
   
             <a href="http://bottomsmarts.blogspot.com">My Bottom Smarts</a>
   
   Unlike our previous examples, the link tag requires us to specify the URL of the page to which we want the link to point. You can use this linking technique for text almost anywhere within your blog and you can link to any valid Web address.
   
   To center text or an image, we can use the <center> tag.
   
   <center>This text is centered</center>
   Finally, pictures make any blog better. The <img> tag allows us to insert pictures. In its simplest form, it looks like this:
   
   <img src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/394/1639/1600/mbslogo.jpg">
   
   Again note how the tag provides a means to define the location of the picture to be inserted. You will want to replace the example image URL with the one corresponding to your picture.
   
   There are many more tags, but these five are very helpful for bloggers.


5. Beware of burn-out. In just the few years that blogging has been around, thousands of brilliant bloggers have come and gone. Like meteors, they flash against the sky and then vanish. Our own community regularly mourns the exit of a favorite blogger. Sometimes they leave because of changing life situations, but just as often the cause is burn-out.
   
   Burn-out is by no means limited to bloggers. Anyone who is engaged in tedious, difficult, or stressful situations can suffer from the exhaustion, lethargy, sleep problems, and disorientation that characterize this condition. The biggest danger for bloggers is becoming addicted to the thrills inherent in entertaining an audience. Like a siren's song, the positive vibes derived from blogging can drive people to sacrifice their quality of life and their relationships.
   
   The key to avoiding burn-out is maintaining a proper perspective. Blogging should be scheduled around life, and never the reverse. I try to avoid hard and fast guidelines. While I want to post every day, missing a day simply can't be a catastrophe. Life is too short to allow my recreation to make me miserable.
   
   In the end, there must be a time to walk away. Nothing lasts forever, least of all blogs. I vow that if this blog ever becomes a heavy burden or comes between my husband and me, I will set it aside. Real life must come first.


6. Draw the line carefully. The very nature of blogging tends to blur the line between our public and private lives. Yet this line must exist. It's not practical for anyone to be entirely private or public.
   
   Great care must be exercised when discussing private topics in a public forum. Beyond the obvious dangers of being stalked or outed, partners in a relationship may disagree about what information should be shared. When a relationship ends, has either party any right to discuss private details in a blog? These are difficult issues in the best of times. The answer, I believe, is for partners to reach agreement over the placement of the dividing line early in the life of a blog.

Please consider these suggestions as merely a starting point. Each blogger must find their own ideal recipe and the ingredients are likely to change over time. In the end, the best blogs are those that reflect the personality of their authors. In this light, perhaps the best recipe for success is to be yourself.

Keywords: blogging

Poll: Spanko Beginnings

At what age did you first develop an interest in spanking? Under 7 7 to 12 13 to 18 19 to 24 25 to 40 Over 40 Current Results

The Saga of the White Shorts

On Saturday morning, Randy and I planned to visit an outdoor arts festival. It was some distance away, but a friend was exhibiting so I wanted to be sure to attend. I woke up first, showered, dressed, and prepared breakfast. Randy slumbered happily until I reminded him of our plans. Groggily, he awoke and got ready for the day.

As soon as he walked downstairs and into the kitchen, the first words from his lips were not a greeting, but rather, “Hey, I like those shorts.” For the record, I was wearing a pair of white denim shorts. They weren’t hot pants. They weren’t short shorts. They weren’t Daisy Dukes. They weren’t even especially tight or revealing. They were simply a pair of jean shorts appropriate for an outdoor festival on a warm day. Only later did it dawn on me that his exclamation was male shorthand for liking the way I looked while wearing those shorts.

Within a split second, he was upon me. My strong husband took me in his arms and wrapped me with an enthusiastic hug. His hands slid down immediately to cover and squeeze my denim-clad cheeks. Before I could process this sensation, he began to kiss me in a most aggressive fashion. Before I could resist, my submissive reflex took over.

“Mmmmm” I moaned, as he unclasped my bra with a skillful one-handed maneuver. My tee shirt quickly departed and his kisses moved southward. Rippling shivers passed through my entire body as my lover licked and bit my erect nipples. All the while, his fingers rubbed my feminine folds through the cotton fabric.

Needless to say, by this time, I was very turned on. The arts festival was rapidly plummeting down my priority list. Randy next guided me down onto the kitchen table. I was bent at the waist and lying on my front. It was a position very conducive to spanking. I had little doubt that was the next act in our mid-morning melodrama. I recall being mildly surprised that he hadn’t bared my target in preparation.

After several moments of digging though kitchen drawers, Randy located the item he sought. It was a large wooden salad spoon that on occasion doubles as a spanking implement. The first whack was full force and so were many that followed. He struck quickly using a rapid fire delivery all over my bottom. Were it not for two layers of protection, I’m sure I would have been in serious agony. As it was, the heat and stinging discomfort rose steadily as he poured on swat after swat.

He stopped as suddenly as he began. Once again, his digits touched, rubbed, and squeezed my upturned buttocks. This time, though, the contact brought pain as well as pleasure. These were sensations I knew well. I adore that deep animalistic craving that immediately and inevitably follows a vigorous spanking. It’s an irresistible itch that can be scratched only though immediate physical coupling, and scratch it we did!

Randy led me into the living room, lowered my shorts and underwear, and then bent me over the arm of our couch. He then dropped his own pants and impaled me from behind. As he thrust in and out of me, my man grabbed two handfuls of my punished flesh. As it often does, this mix of strong stimulation triggered the first of several mammoth climaxes. The lovemaking was wonderful. By the time he finished, I had received all of the attention I could possibly want.

Eventually, we did make it to the arts festival. Randy insisted that I put back on those white shorts that started this runaway romantic rendezvous. Several times during the day, he expressed his appreciation for my appearance by swatting my bottom with his hand. I know several people saw that gesture and, for all I know, they may have witnessed me wincing as well.

All in all, it was a fine way to spend a Saturday.

Keywords: spanking, playful spanking, spanking stories

Keyword Chaos Continues

As I've mentioned before, I am constantly amused by some of the keywords people type into search engines on their way to this blog. Here's the latest crop...

• pants down spanking construction guys - Why am I picturing the Village People?


• my wife likes to get spanked by anyone - Why that little tramp!


• caned large bottoms - Like mothes to a flame, somehow they are all drawn to me


• lowered girdle spanking - These guys wouldn't think a girdle was so sexy had they ever worn one


• why do my bum cheeks have a mild ache? - Obviously your spanker needs to add a bit more wrist action


• spankwear - This little drop-seat unitard is all the rage this season...


• ass whipping panties - Panties make a lousy spanking implement


• cheerleaders in red nylon - This person's fetish is quite specialized


• anna nicole smith exposed her fantasies revealed - It's probably safe to assume that her fantasies involve small portraits of presidents


• dressing my boyfriend in panties garter and stockings - "I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK..."


• management of crying during a caning - The best way to manage crying is to not hit her with that cane!

I suppose that's enough for now.

Tigger's Meme

I promised Tigger that I would complete her meme. It took me a while to get around to doing so, but here are my responses.

My Personality:

• I talk a lot, but I try to listen more
• I feel others pain, sometimes as acutely as my own
• I’m a friendly sort, though perhaps a little cautious at first
• I’m a perfectionist

My Sexual Preferences:

• I am straight and monogamous (sounds so vanilla, but it's true)
• Spanking is a sex act for me
• I’m submissive, but that side of me is visible mostly in the bedroom
• I’m available for just about anything Randy wants to try so long as it doesn’t involve permanent injury

My Fears and Inhibitions:

• I am afraid of the inhumanity of war
• I carefully avoid what I believe to be dangerous places
• I worry most about the possibility of harm coming to my family

My Strengths:

• I can communicate effectively with many types of people
• I am an optimist
• My sense of humor
• I can be mentally tough when necessary

My Weaknesses:

• I over-commit myself sometimes
• I can get caught up in the moment and lose sight of the big picture
• I expend too much effort and emotion on lost causes
• I’m stubborn

What I Like About My Appearance:

• My curves are still more or less where they belong
• I am blessed with “good hair”
• My blue eyes

My Background:

• I enjoyed a mostly happy childhood
• I was always a good student
• In school, I was more cute than pretty; the kind of girl guys would rather befriend than date
• I attended a large urban university (and liked it!)
• I married Randy when we were fairly young, but I’ve never regretted that choice

What I Love:

• My family
• Making love with my husband in every way
• Spankings, spanking stories, spanko enthusiasts, spanking lore, spanking implements, etc…
• Live performances
• Romantic weekend escapes
• Good friends and good conversation

What I Loathe:

• Senseless violence and cruelty
• Greed and deceit
• Apathy
• Machiavellian head games
• Hatred and bigotry

What I Could Take or Leave:

• Television
• Newspapers (and I was a journalism major!)
• Alcoholic beverages
• Diets

My Favorite Foods:

• Chocolate anything
• Fresh field greens salad with vinaigrette
• Toasted rye bagel with butter
• Spring water