Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Keyword Chaos Continues

As I've mentioned before, I am constantly amused by some of the keywords people type into search engines on their way to this blog. Here's the latest crop...

  • pants down spanking construction guys - Why am I picturing the Village People?

  • my wife likes to get spanked by anyone - Why that little tramp!

  • caned large bottoms - Like mothes to a flame, somehow they are all drawn to me

  • lowered girdle spanking - These guys wouldn't think a girdle was so sexy had they ever worn one

  • why do my bum cheeks have a mild ache? - Obviously your spanker needs to add a bit more wrist action

  • spankwear - This little drop-seat unitard is all the rage this season...

  • ass whipping panties - Panties make a lousy spanking implement

  • cheerleaders in red nylon - This person's fetish is quite specialized

  • anna nicole smith exposed her fantasies revealed - It's probably safe to assume that her fantasies involve small portraits of presidents

  • dressing my boyfriend in panties garter and stockings - "I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK..."

  • management of crying during a caning - The best way to manage crying is to not hit her with that cane!

I suppose that's enough for now.


Frank Spanko said...

My Dearest Bonnie -

I must admit, when I first saw that you were blogging about key words again on this day, I thought that it was just a cheap way to avoid having to think of something more interesting on which to write.

And then I read the comments that you placed after the selections you chose. I found myself amused to an extent that I snorted orange juice through my nasal passages.

The reference to the lunberjack was especially clever.

Well done, my dear!

Damnation's Cellar said...

"I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK..."

Oh well, Frank pretty much summed up what I was going to cover; the lumberjack quote and snarfing liquid onto my monitor.


It's fun to stay at the YMCA, btw...

Marcus said...

pants down spanking construction guys - I want to see the pictures of Bonnie spanking the construction guys.

caned large bottoms - Or... like the sands in an hourglass, these are the days of Bonnie's life.

lowered girdle spanking - Are you saying if we put on silk panties we would STILL think they are sexy. I'm sorry... [ducking!]

why do my bum cheeks have a mild ache? - Maybe something to put on the back of her sweatpants?

dressing my boyfriend in panties garter and stockings - No no no no no! Didn't I just say the boyfriend in panties is NOT sexy? Your fans are still off.

Now if only Bonnie had a large bottom for caning.

Anonymous said...

I love it, Bonnie!!! You're too funny!!!


Mistress Sky said...

Crying during caning - now that's a No No...I'd never allow that to happen. They may only count along and thank me!! (When I'm wearing my Domme head - like yesterday & today!!) I don't do crying...
Loved the comments Bonnie - what fun it is reading your blog.
Sky x

padme said...

Very funny bonnie. I know I've had some strange ones too...especially about star wars. lol. I am going to miss your brunch this weekend. I love joining you every Sunday...I hope it goes well for you. We are planning a star wars spanking party on the 29th of July and hope you can make it, bonnie. I'd love to have you!!
Have a great weekend

Anonymous said...


I run a website (a political website) and I havent found anyone to tell me how to find the searches that land people to my site. Where did you get the info?

By the way - your site is wonderful as I try to make my life (and that of my partner) less vanilla. How long before you found yourself comfortable with and good at incorporating spanking into your sex life?

WOW - could there be two more unrelated questions?

Mary said...

I agree - just don't use that cane!

Cameo said...

OMG - I needed those laffs Bonnie!! The way things have gone, I needed to have some happy noises coming out of me instead of crying ones. Gah, and honestly, Mike the NDW is a total shit...why I have been and am crying over him is BEYOND me. Look, Cameo, look around you - there are better men, lol.

Tigger said...

This is hysterical Bonnie... I'm curious to know, too, how you find these things out? Where and how do you access such fascinating history? Please do share... I can't imagine that you are the only one receiving such bizarre searches..


erica said...

those are great bonnie! you totally made my night : )

CeeCi said...

One of my more bizarre keyword searches was "Jehovah's Witness wife spanked." Do you suppose they used the Watch Tower?

I always enjoy your responses to these searches. The one about Anna Nicole...perfect!


good girl said...

So funny! It's always suprising the things people search for and the strange combinations of words that bring them to your doorstep. I suspect I'll have the image of a lumberjack in lingerie stuck in my head for quite some time!

Bonnie said...

Frank - I'll let you in on a secret. You're absolutely correct! I was tired last night and the story I'm writing wasn't ready. I chose this topic because it's quick, easy, and fun. As soon as I started digging into the queries, I knew I made the right decision. I couldn't ask for better straight lines.

DC - Anytime I can reference Monty Python and the Village People in the same post, it's going to be an interesting one.

Marcus - Nobody believes me when I say this, but I harbor no desire to spank anybody.

I'm telling you that there are people out there who like big, round, wide, fleshy bottoms and think they should be spanked. I have no problem at all with that sentiment, but all these queries would seem to make me a founding member of the bubble butt club. For the record, that's never been one of my aspirations.

Tigger Too - Thanks!

Sky - Thank you.

Padme - Have a great trip. It sounds wonderful. I'll try to make it to your cyber-party.

Anon - Hi, and welcome to MBS. I'm glad you're here!

If you're not running a counter, you should consider doing so. Most counters offer statistics, including a list of search keywords. This is where I found these gems.

A while back, I wrote two posts about general blogging tips. You can find them here and here.

Your second question is interesting. So much so, in fact, that it's closely related to our topic for this Sunday's spanko brunch. It's difficult for me to answer since neither Randy nor I were ever vanilla. I hope you'll drop in on Sunday and see what your peers say.

Mary - I believe the cane has a proper place and that place is someone else's house. Seriously, we play with canes sometimes, but it can be scary when used full force.

Cameo - That's the spirit! Ever hopeful, ever forward...

Tigger - I'm definitely not the only one who gets these bizarre searches. I know, for example, that Adele posts amusing ones fairly regularly.

Erica - Thanks!

CeeCi - Now there's a funny mental picture! LOL

GG - The crazy thing is that the more I talk about strange search strings (and thereby include the words in a post), the more hits I get when people actually enter similar but equally bizarre series of keywords.

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