Friday, July 28, 2006

Introducing Welt-Minder

Ladies, does your hard day at the office sometimes begin with a hard time across your man's lap? For many of us, spankings are a practical necessity. But too often, sitting afterward can be unpleasant and bothersome. Until now, we've had little choice but to endure those painful paddle burns.

Today, however, CP laboratories introduces a revolutionary scientific beakthrough. Welt-Minder is a uniquely formulated creme especially designed to provide effective relief from the most common spanking symptoms. Applied topically to the buttocks every four hours, many spankos find that Welt-Minder helps to ease skin redness and irritation, control swelling, and reduce deep aches.

Welt-Minder should not be used by persons in cardiac arrest or those with disapproving dom syndrome. If symptoms return, discontinue use and reconsider your recent behavior.

Welt-Minder is available at all finer pharmacies and kink festivals.

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Mistress Sky said...

What's the cost of shipping to the UK, Bonnie (grins)!!

Tom said...

And available for free on the first of April.

Eva said...

Bonnie, You said this would be buy one get one free, yes?

Damnation's Cellar said...

But wait! Is there more?


Anonymous said...

Too cute, Bonnie!!!


petofzeigfried said... is this better than just lotion?
also, I have noticed many spankees talkiing about the use of ice packs they really work well?


rose said...

thanks for the laugh today! i needed that. you are too funny, sweet lady.


padme said...

very cute bonnie

Grace said...

I have to go to finer pharmacy? I could of sworn I saw that in an infomercal. Only 19.99.

Or did that come with the paddle too?

I forget.

dwcmike said...

Knowing you as well as I think I might,this would be the last product you would ever use. The reminder of the spanking simply reminds you of how much you love your husband and family, and that he is willing to spank you when you need it. (Were you wearing a thong while writing this?)
bottoms up

Anonymous said...

I just want the reminder of my spanking to be with me as long as it can; so no creme thanks. Susan.

wind walker said...

"reconsider your recent behavior"

i love it!!!

but there was a panicked part of me saying, "no welts??? but that's the best part!!"

Tigger said...

Great idea Bonnie! Yup... I'm back... did ya miss me? Of course with 700,000 hits these days, you no doubt barely noticed but I missed being here!!! And I'm very glad to be back...

Big hugs (and I LOVED your Secretary story... will have to try to find the movie just to add to the growing list of reenactments)

Yours said...

how neat!!

Cassie said...

I'm on my way to the store!


Paul said...

Sounds like a great idea Bonnie.

Bonnie said...

Sky - Are you kidding? This stuff was invented by British researchers!

Tom - Precisely.

Eva - For a limited time only.

DC - Don't answer yet...

Tigger Too - Thanks!

Pet - Hi, and welcome to MBS. There are a lot of serious posts here, but this doesn't happen to be one of them. Welt-Minder creme is a figment of my warped imagination that broke loose and found its way to this page.

But since you asked a real question, you deserve a real answer. There a number of different cremes and lotions that can help. For example, Arnica is good for bruises, Aloe is good for skin irritation, and an anti-bacterial like Neosporin is good for cuts or abrasions. Ice helps to reduce swelling and brusing.

Rose - Thank you!

Padme - Thanks.

Grace - If you order right now, we'll throw in this unique paddle-all. But hurry, supplies are limited.

Mike - Just a joke. Right you are, of course.

Susan - Clearly, it's not for every one.

Wind - Think of it this way... If you lose your welts, you can come back all that much sooner for more!

Tigger - Yes, of course I missed you. Welcome back.

Yours - I would simply love to see this product on the shelf in a drug store between the laxatives and vitamins.

Cassie - Enjoy!

Paul - Thanks. I think it would sell.

Marcus said...

I don't think this is a good product! Afterall the it would seriously cut down on the squirming...

Nevertheless, what a cute idea!

Mary said...

You and all your reader's comments are too funny. Thanks for the smile.

wind walker said...

i never thought of that.....coming back for more..

i must get some of this stuff!!!

good girl said...

I could've used some of that after Friday night's spanking! Though I guess that would take away some of the fun... for Griz anyway :-)

Made me laugh as always!

Bonnie said...

Marcus - It's not a bad product. you just don't like it!

Mary - You're welcome.

Wind - Hey, it was developed by spankos!

GG - Thanks...

Fanny Annie said...

Bonnie, if I used that cream, I'd be begging for more spankings than I already do. What an enjoyable laugh!

Bonnie said...

Fanny - It sounds like a good plan to me. LOL

Everyone - BTW, in my first draft of this post, the preparation was called "Asspercreme!" I loved the name, but decided that might get me ugly letters from attorney-types.

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