Spanking 101: The Elusive Why

"So why would anyone want to be spanked?" That's a question that all spankos periodically ask themselves and each other. If this question had one simple answer, you would already know it. I'd have to find another topic for tonight.

Even among people with an interest in adult spanking, we're all different. We have different backgrounds, emotions, values, preferences, and desires. Accordingly, there are many reasons why people find spankings beneficial. Here are ten:

Sexual fulfillment Intimacy Stress relief Foreplay Bonding Communication Submission Discipline Focus Ritual

Most spankos would identify multiple items from this list as appealing to them.

The sexual fulfillment angle is a very popular one. Couples often use spanking as foreplay and in conjunction with intercourse. For most people, feeling your lover's hand on your bare bottom (or placing a hand on your lover's bare bottom) is clearly erotic. Administering a spanking is merely one additional step further. Some women achieve climax during a spanking.

Most people feel a need for intimacy. This requirement, for me, is both physical and spiritual. It can be remedied through close contact and lovemaking, but I sometimes seek something more. I never feel closer to my husband than the times we snuggle in bed following a spanking.

In today's world, stress is almost a given. We try to complete too many tasks in too little time. Freeway driving is a nightmare. The list goes on and on. Many spankees find that a spanking offers an emotional release that can effectively strip away nervous stress.

For those of us who possess this kink, spanking is superb foreplay. There's nothing like a few good swats on the behind to get me ready for sex.

Bonding renews and strengthens the relationship between loving partners. Spankings, for many couples, are a bonding experience. They bring the participants emotionally closer.

Communication is essential for maintaining a healthy relationship. Spankings can aid in communication by breaking down the spankee's barriers and inhibitions.

Submission is defined as a desire to be led by another and to place their needs ahead of one's own. Submission and its mirror image, dominance, take many forms. Some may be perceived as extreme, but others are quite innocuous. For a submissive, spankings can provide an outlet for those feelings.

Couples in domestic discipline relationships use spankings to enforce established rules. The desired result is a peaceful home and a loving relationship.

Many spanked women, including me, find that after a good spanking, their concentration and focus are improved.

Finally, many of us enjoy the ritual that sometimes accompanies a spanking. Done well, a ritual can make the experience more intense, more memorable, and more meaningful.

These ten considerations are not exhaustive. There are no doubt other reasons why people find adult spankings to be valuable. This list is intended to illustrate the broad spectrum of spanko life.

You may have noticed that pain isn't on the list. This omission is intentional. When people think about spankings, it’s easy to get caught up in the physical act. After all, it is pretty mind-blowing to voluntarily lie across your lover’s lap while he repeatedly beats your bare bottom with a wooden board. The pain can be quite intense. No amount of preparation or experience ever changes that reality. But there is also a spiritual aspect that may not be so obvious to those who have yet to experience it. At least at our house, the primary goal of a spanking is not a warm, red, stinging bottom. That outcome is merely an unavoidable byproduct of a more important aim. For reasons I don’t fully comprehend, a well-executed spanking can transport my mind to a different space. It’s an intoxicating blend of euphoria, sexual energy, connectedness, and fulfillment. I suppose this sensation might be compared to a “runner’s high.” I love that place, and in fact, I crave it sometimes.

As I said at the start, there is no one simple answer. But that is not to say there is no answer at all. Each person must seek their own resolution. But for those of us who love this lifestyle, those answers lie close at hand.