Sunday, November 15, 2009

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Nov 15

Our topic this week dealt with the attraction of spanking as an interest and a pastime. As we might expect, the responses varied widely.

Missy: I think the appeal of spanking is paradoxical: it's corny and nostalgic, yet adventurous and visionary. It's romantic escapism that curiously utilizes ordinary objects like wooden spoons, belts, and woodsheds and somehow imbues them with magical properties. It's exaggerated and improbable, like an opera. It's simultaneously harsh and tender. And best of all, it celebrates imagination, emotion, and introspection, like nothing else I can think of.

littleone: How does one explain what drives one to crave, need, beg for a spanking? It seems to me that it is a bit like trying to explain why I have blue eyes. It is just who I am.

KayLynn: Spanking has unmatched submissive components that produce powerful and exciting fear that I crave on levels that scare me. Nothing else incorporates every aspect of my daily motivations and passions. I'll take the three S's (Spanking, Submission and Sex) over the three C's any day!

R Humphries: It is clear from the wide variety of comments over the years at MBS brunches that spanking tastes vary from titillating erotic foreplay, through domestic discipline, role-playing, exhibitionism and hardcore BDSM. I say each to their own.

My own tastes were undoubtedly established from being a product of the “Last British Cane Generation” and the rituals that surrounded corporal punishment. As a result, I discovered a fascination with writing spanking stories. My Beloved Jojo loves theatre, drama and spanking, so role-playing comes naturally to her. This allows us plenty of opportunity to constantly ponder and create new situations, which keeps that element of our relationship lively and fun.

Besides, I was born in London and have eaten more than enough crumpets, can play cribbage like a demon, and Jojo grows the best chrysanthemums in the universe. So what else is there to ponder but the Fine Art of Spanking?

Jean Marie: Maybe my interest arose because I was never spanked as a child and fantasized about it constantly from a very early age. Maybe it's because I developed an ample, round bottom at puberty, and it has drawn attention ever since. It got pinched nonstop in Paris when I visited there. I wish that I'd had the nerve to have it caned when I visited London. Maybe it's because I gave myself hard bared butt spankings as I masturbated, and found it to be so erogenous a zone.

For a while, I wondered and worried why I was hard-wired to want to be spanked. I talked about it in therapy. I don't know why. But I crave it as fiercely as ever. It fuels my strong sex drive. And it makes me feel complete to be spanked to tears frequently, and to be playfully spanked often. It's usually our form of foreplay. It can be orgasmic. It is who I am.

Curtis: Quite simply, spanking has been at the core of my sexuality since childhood. It is the substance of my masturbatory fantasies, the only fully satisfying form of erotic play, arousing in and of itself and doubly arousing as part of sexual play. I'm a switch. As a spanker, I love the feel of a woman over my lap, enjoying and being aroused, the sting on my hand, the softness of the bottom, the changes in color and temperature, and the warmth when one rubs. As a spankee, I like the feel of the softness of a woman's lap, the feel of her hand on my bottom, the arousing sting and, in both situations, sometimes more than that. For me, it's only play, fun, sensual and erotic and skin-on-skin OTK. But over a long lifetime, it's what has moved me.

Daisy: Crumpets? Delicious and comforting. Cribbage? Exciting, fun, and challenging. Chrysanthemums? Romantic and scary (I hate the earwigs that hide inside!).

Spanking? All of these, and more!

Muffin: I love crumpets! I love crysanthemums! I don't know cribbage, but I do know spanking It's just always been a part of who I am and what I do. I desire it in waves. Sometimes, I want it a LOT, other times I don't want it at all (but still get it). It can be sexual, disciplinary, relaxing, or just fun.

Jim: Crumpets? Gifts from Hestia's fields of waving gold.

Cribbage? Hermes wagers all his gold then steals some more.

Chrysanthemums? Asclepius finds the healing power, hidden in the golden flower.

Spanking? Aphrodite sprinkles powdered gold on a smarting, martial, redness.

Why us? Because we deserved it, for being as good as gold.

Hermione: Why do we meet here to talk about spanking? Because we can!

For many of us, this preference has been a secret we have carried inside for many years. Perhaps the people around us in whom we confided were less than sympathetic, or couldn't understand, or simply didn't want to know. It's wonderful to get the secret thoughts off our chests to like-minded, supportive individuals.

Whatever my interests, I like to discuss them with people who have similar tastes. I do also discuss "crumpets, cribbage and chrysanthemums." There are online forums for pretty much everything. There is a big difference between discussing chrysanthemums with my friends or the people at work and discussing spanking. With the former, my listeners would simply be bored. With the latter, they would be sharing a very intimate part of my life, and it would definitely be a case of too much information. I wouldn't be taking a risk talking about chrysanthemums: I would be, talking about spanking.

Reading and writing about spanking has become a safe haven for me. I have said things I would never have dared to say elsewhere. I have learned so much by reading about the personal experiences of a great many others, and am constantly amazed at how similar, yet how different, we all are.

Anon #1: Why not?

Six of the Best: For me, it's a beautiful and exciting sexual experience. I like to participate in giving spankings and talking with or hearing about others who are punished or sexually turned on by the subject matter.

Spank-A-Lot: I can't speak for everyone else, but this question is one that I have pondered long and hard for many years. I haven't found the answer yet, but I have accepted my spanking interest with open arms despite the lack of a definitive explanation. For you see, my fondness for spankings has been around as long as I can remember. I still vividly remember the times when my mother brought me to her friend's place. There was only one girl my age with whom I could play. Sadly, there were only dolls, but the spanking thoughts were already present then. I guess I may never arrive at the reason why I like spanking.

Ian: As I wrote in my story, Sub White Female Seeks...

"Why spanking?" he asked.

She paused. "Well, you know, because..."

Some things in life don't need to be explained or given a reason. It just is what it is. That's what makes it special.

Diesel Diva: Spanking has been an intricate part of my sexual identification since childhood. I don't know why. But I do know that I don't want to live without it!

Anon #2: I'm not sure if my explanation really qualifies as an answer, but why do people crave chocolates? Or a fine single malt scotch? Or a Cuban cigar? It's because it is part of us. It is what we crave and part of our make up.

Em: I think the basic answer, for me, is because it's part of who I am. I truly believe that my need (and I do mean need, not desire) for spanking is hard-wired into my genetic code.

That said, each of us takes those genetics and shapes how we integrate them into our lives as often as they shape how we integrate our lives with them.

So, why do I *enjoy* spanking? Well, that list could go on and on and on. For the emotional release, the physical sensation, the personal connections, the playfulness, the submissive headspace, the sensuality, and the adventure.

In short, this one activity can be literally anything you want it to be. How fun is that?

It seems as though a lot of your readers are fans of cribbage (not to mention crumpets). Why is my head now drifting to thoughts of kinky Cribbage games with points worth spanks. Perhaps we need to start a kinky cribbage league on Yahoo!

The Cribbage reference was, until now, a kind of inside joke for Randy and me. We have had a Cribbage board for decades, but I'm not sure we've ever played by the rules. Randy fancies the board as a handy wooden spanking implement. If he mentions Cribbage, that means I will soon have a sore bottom.

Our Bottoms Burn: I don't know why I am wired to think about spanking several times a day. My fascination with it started in the first grade and has been with me everyday of my adult life. I gave up pondering why some years back. I just accept it. It's a part of me. I feel that it's no different than anything else that humans are passionate about. Like a lot of things that are sexual, it's not a choice made by us.

Anon #3: Asking "Why spanking?" to me is akin to asking "Why do you kiss your lover?" It's because it's arousing, fun and something that I enjoy!

Now, asking why spanking is arousing, fun and enjoyable is a harder question for me (and these reasons are different for everyone here). It's some combination the submissive aspect, how it builds and cements trust and the fact that I derive pleasure from the sensation of having my butt smacked. Why is that pleasurable to me? It just is. Whether it's genes, early life experience or what, I have no explanation for why I enjoy it, but I know I do! On some level, that's really all that matters. Some things don't need to be analyzed.

Scunge: Sir R and I were talking about this just this past Saturday. I told him I am so much more happier now that I have spanking in my life. This past year has been one of wonderful and exciting discovery and I can't wait to see what the upcoming years have in store for us. My family even noticed that I am so much happier since Sir R and I have been together. Of course, they have NO IDEA about the spanking side, except for a couple of my sisters and my eldest niece. My brother commented to my parents last Christmas that I just was sparkling and that R is so good for me! They will NEVER know the whole story, but they do know I am happier than I have EVER been in my life. I attribute that to finally waking up and embracing my SPANKING side. :)

Prefectdt: I was born with it. I really don't think that spanking ever grabbed my interest. It was just part of me and always will be. I have said it before and I will say it again, IMHO, it is a genetic thing. For some reason, in human evolution, it became essential for the survival of the tribe to have spankos, and here we still are.

Bonnie: I wrote a post a few years ago that I think covers most of the usual reasons why people find spankings appealing. But there is another, more pragmatic explanation. For Randy and me, spankings work. They are the cornerstone of our intimacy, our reconnection, a source of endless enjoyment, and so much more. There is no substitute for success, nor any reason to seek one.

Thanks to everyone who contributed!


ronnie said...

Bonnie, sorry late stopping by, I did stop by yesterday but couldn't leave comment.
Spanking is us, it works for us, we reconnect whether for fun or erotic. There's nothing like it.

Congratulations on your two hundredth brunch.


Starla Kaye said...

I didn't know how to contact you another way, sorry. I have changed by Erotic Spanking by Starla Kaye blog to Erotic Spanking Fiction by Starla Kaye.

Anonymous said...

Dear Bonnie,

Finding myself in need of a reply, to a friends question, I came here. I was certain this topic had been covered, but unfortunately I can't find it.

His question is: What is a warm up?

Bonnie could you or your audience help me with a sound answer?

Thank you,

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