My Turn

I am pleased and gratified that so many friends took the time to weigh in on the future of MBS. I hear what you're telling me and I expect I will adopt many of your suggestions.

I've dispensed with the normal summary this week in favor of a more point by point response. For the sake of brevity, I tried to omit all but the first mention of each idea.

S.N.M.: I think a blog can indeed provide quality content indefinitely. The best way to do this is to mix things up and avoid stagnation.

I agree and that's why I asked for suggestions.

S.N.M.: If you've exhausted your ideas for Sunday brunch, start a new weekly series of some kind.

Actually, I have a couple of months of brunch topics in the hopper. A lot of those good ideas came from readers. The weekly brunch, In with the New, Bonnie's Mailbag, and Keyword Chaos are four features I definitely plan to keep.

S.N.M.: Maybe writing prompts for stories? Guest-of-the-week? Spanko news columns? More of your hilarious short stories and faux-advertisements?

I like guest posts, but they sometimes pose a problem. I try to explain my expectations in advance. Even so, once in a while, I receive a story that simply doesn't fit with the tone of MBS. At that point, my choices are to run something readers might not enjoy or tell the author that I reject their story. Needless to say, I don't care for either option.

I think the news angle is well covered elsewhere. Part of my dilemma is that I would rather not borrow another blogger's formula unless I can improve it in some significant way. I would love to produce more stories and humor posts. The trouble is, of course, finding the quiet time to write.

Curtis: I'd be happy if you didn't change a thing, provided you're still enjoying.

Thank you, Curtis. My level of enjoyment varies from day to day. At this point, I like blogging better than not blogging, so onward we go.

Hermione: My first reaction to your question was yes, find more time to write.

It's not that I am spending less time on the blog than in past years. If anything, I probably invest more. The difference is that where I might have been writing stories in the past, I am now answering e-mail, updating the blogroll, or visiting blogs and forums.

Hermione: MBS is famous for its brunches. They are a popular weekly feature, judging from the number of responses you get each week. I would hope they continue for a long time.

I am not considering abandoning our brunches.

Hermione: Your blog has always had the distinction of being unique. Rather than adopt ideas that other bloggers are already using, I hope MBS will continue to be a bit different...

That is my hope as well.

Hermione: If you ever need a partner in crime, you can count on me, and I wouldn't need a passport for cross-border blogging.

You're definitely on my short list! I truly appreciate all the help you provide today.

Hermione: I know you get a large amount of mail from readers. Why not a spinoff from the Bonnie's Mailbag feature called Ask Bonnie, in which you print a reader's question and then supply the answer, suggestion or reply?

Believe it or not, I actually have that feature. It doesn't run as often as the mailbag, but it does exist.

Hermione: As for a topic that you haven't covered, what about how spanking changes as couples age? It probably isn't the same for a couple in their 20s as it is for one in their 30s, 40s, 50s or 60s. There's a five-part series for you.

That's a great idea. I like it. Thanks.

Sara: I suspect people would use and appreciate a place where they could ask and get answers, and read the answers to questions already asked and posted.

As I say, I do have an Ask Bonnie segment, but I haven't solicited questions in a long time.

Sara: I like your personal accounts the best, but I assume you write those as often as the spirit moves you.

Me too, Sara. But as you say, I cannot summon the muse on command. There will be more spanking accounts, but I cannot tell you just when.

Muffin: I'd be happy to contribute in any way I can, in lieu of starting my own blog anytime soon.

Let's discuss that possibility. I think you are an excellent writer.

LS: The only question that matters is are you happy? Yes MBS is the #1 site to meet and greet but what does Bonnie the woman want not Bonnie the blogging Spanko Queen.

Quite honestly, what I want changes based upon the events of the day. For now, I believe I am happier blogging than not blogging. Every time I consider moving on, I experience a feeling of loss. Someday I will give up blogging, but I'm not ready yet.

LS: Highlighting your favorite posts from other bloggers would be a simple addition...

It's an excellent feature, but I doubt I could do it better than Chross already does.

Handsdown: It's your commitment to the non-commercial Spanko life that makes this a very fine place on the net.

There won't be any advertisements as long as I run this blog.

Handsdown: I would enjoy a spanking tales corner where we can all share our favorite spanking experiences.

That's a fascinating idea, but it would require a certain amount of structure to make it work well. Thanks!

Handsdown: I think a spanking recipe addition would be amusing. Recipes to get you a great spanking or a dinner that is guaranteed to get you off the hook--or out from under--as it were. LOL

There have been a few spanko bloggers who shared recipes. I certainly have some, but cooking (at least the conventional variety) seems off-topic to me.

Handsdown: How about a "try this implement" feature?

We've done Implement Stories a few times (with good response) and I plan to revive that feature at some point.

Handsdown: At any rate, please keep it Spanko.

That's the challenge, isn't it?

Anon #1: The moment you don't derive pleasure (not talking the occasional funk but when it becomes a chore) from My Bottom Smarts, Quit.

Thanks, Anon #1, for your thoughts. Had I followed that advice, I'd have bailed early on. There are times when I can't bear to look at the blog and others when I feel driven to do whatever I can to make it better. It is a whole lot of work. Most of the time, it feels as though it's worthwhile. That's why I'm still here.

Anon #1: Get that fella you live with to write on a regular basis...

I don't think that is going to happen. I've extended the invitation. Randy participates when and how he chooses.

Anon #1: Invite reader submissions - in the style of MBS to keep the tone consistent and publish the best of them.

There's the rub. After a dedicated reader and friend spends hours crafting a story for MBS, it kills me to have to tell them that their tone is wrong or that their work is simply not good enough. It seems unfair and arbitrary. On the other hand, I don't want to publish a story that many MBS readers will find objectionable.

Abby: [MBS] was the first I found that celebrated spanking amongst the rest of us. I have a feeling you inspired many a blogger by creating a space where we all feel comfortable sharing our thoughts and experiences without fear of mockery or reproach.

That's pretty much the charter of this blog.

Abby: As Niki Flynn has just proved, remaining in this world is not eternal for all of us, no matter how well-written, well-loved, or well-spanked he or she is.

I agree there will come a day for all of us when other priorities will prevail.

Abby: I've told Mr. W any number of times that I was done with my own blog. I was wrong each time, but the point is, life was drawing me in another direction.

I've said those words myself, but I always gravitated back to blogging.

Abby: I'm not sure about opening up posts to others consistently - you'll have a lot to read and consider, and that alone could be another site, or really, another career. You also have a certain tone that I wouldn't want to see changed. For example, much as I'd love to see some of my own writing on your site, I'm delving into some darker areas of myself now, and that belongs on my own site, not one that is meant for everyone in the spanking community.

You've captured well the dilemma of guest contributions.

Mary: You have a niche that no one else fills.

Thank you. That might be the nicest compliment of all.

Prefectdt: The time pressure and inspiration for new ideas are always the hard parts of keeping a blog going and personal life changes means that a blog must change to fit in with its owners lifestyle or it will become too much pressure and fail. In short a blog must evolve over time, to fit in with the owners life.

Well said!

Prefectdt: Many of the newer bloggers are getting lost in the crowd (the blog roll here shows how many blogs there are now), and I see some with interesting content but stat counters that that show a very low hit rate. I wonder how long many of them will keep going whilst talking to the internet ether. How about inviting guest posts from bloggers who are still in their first six months of blogging.

You've hit upon a great point. I just noticed today that a great young blog (The Torture Room) has disappeared. Had more people visited and commented, I wonder whether Anna might still be around. Rather than solicit guest posts, it might be easier and better if I asked permission to republish all or part of an existing post. We did this recently with RU and LU and that post received a strong reception.

Loki: I like the blog as is. I say keep going.

Thank you!

Daisy: I loved your accounts of spankings. Randy is quite a creative spanker! Bring back those!

Those accounts are often time-consuming to write and I have to be in the right frame of mind. As I said above, there will be more, but I cannot set a timetable.

Daisy: It would be wonderful to get a "side by side" account of a spanking...both you and Randy writing about the same spanking, from your own points of view, showing how male and female feelings differ at each section of the spanking!

For the time being, I can provide only one side. I am working on transcribing some recordings I made during spankings. That should provide a little different perspective.

Daisy: Please stay! Don't go into retirement. Yours is always the voice of reason, of sense and wisdom and reassurance. We need you! And, we love you. Blog world wouldn't be the same without our Bon!

I appreciate your confidence, affection, and support. I plan to continue blogging as long as it remains practical to do so.

Tiggs: You need to follow your own heart and mind and thoughts and feelings... that's the soundest and longest lasting advice you've given to countless other folks out here, and to do anything less would be absolutely wrong (and blogger suicide).

I do say that, don't I? (smile) I view MBS as a blog I publish, but one that belongs to the whole community. I need to feel good about what I'm doing, but at the same time, I also want others to embrace the message and participate actively. While I could act on my own, the spirit of the blog mandates that I consider readers as well.

Tiggs: You will know without question when it is time to stop.

I sure hope so.

Spanky: I love your blog just the way it is overall.

Thank you!

Thomas: I think that a blogger can continue indefinitely with a single topic, though they may have to occasionally think outside of the box to find a fresh idea. However, don't make changes just to keep things different. Only make changes that make you are confident in and will enjoy. My temporary change to fantasy football instead of spanking fantasies has been a good one for me. If you feel that a change will be good for you, even if just for a brief period, then give it a shot.

I appreciate your wise counsel. Even after four years, I sometimes don't know how a new feature will be received until I post it. I tend to try a lot of ideas and then stick with the ones that seem to work. The challenge is to keep generating those new concepts while remaining true to the spirit of the blog.

LU: There have been many great suggestions given above, but, as a writer myself, I know you will not be happy unless you follow your heart and take this in the direction that will still spark your creativity and desire to write it.

Yes, that's very true. Thanks.

Anon VII: I'll echo the often-expressed sentiment that MBS is great, and that you should change nothing about its basic format.

I have no intention of changing the general format, the central topic, the tone, or the target readership. The features, however, may be subject to renovation.

Anon VII: I like the idea of guest writers, with the understanding that you will screen everything first and, if you've time, get back to anyone whose effort you turn down with a brief explanation of what, in your opinion, is wrong. You might want to set up a few ground rules first.

I want MBS to be as inclusive as possible. I would rather forgo guest posts than have to tell a loyal reader that I won't post their story because it doesn't match my preferences.

A. Lurker: I have noticed that your blog has evolved over the years without sacrificing quality. Don’t worry about “indefinitely.” For now and in the foreseeable future you are doing just fine.

Thanks!

A. Lurker: I like Hermione’s suggestion about how spanking changes as you age. A corollary could be an ongoing feature about how to handle various obstacles to spanking such as young children waking up, older teens who pop in and out at any hour, bad backs, hormones, etc.

Yes, I think if we followed up on Hermione's suggestion, all of those scenarios would have to be considered.

A. Lurker: Lately I have also enjoyed your Potpourri features where you cover a few different topics in one post.

Yes, we'll do that again. Sometimes, I have a lot of small topics, none of which merit a separate post.

A. Lurker: When you do throw in the towel, please leave MBS up and public so that we can all come back here to find info, links, and ideas.

That is certainly my plan.

Radha: I really like the things you have already done with your blog. I especially like the way you feature new bloggers on a regular basis. You are such a valuable part of this community and so welcoming and most importantly, a leader in such positive ways. For me, that is enough especially if you are lacking time to do more.

Thank you. I enjoy discovering and sharing new blogs. I will definitely keep In with the New.

Jane: I'd love an Ask Bonnie feature. Maybe it could be the starting topic for some Sunday Brunches.

Believe it or not, I've published six Ask Bonnie posts. But we could certainly have more.

Katia: I have enjoyed reading the Sunday Brunch question and responses, even when I don't respond. I think, "Ask Bonnie" is a great idea.

Thanks, Katia!

Anon #2: I enjoy your personal accounts. I know they're time consuming to write, but I'd imagine you're still receiving lots of "inspiration" so maybe you could try for a brunch and a few personal accounts each month if you feel you have time for only that.

“Inspiration” isn't the issue. Those accounts are best written when the critical events are fresh in my mind (and perhaps elsewhere as well!). The trouble is that when Randy and I are spending time together, the last thing I want to do is crawl off into the computer.

Anon #3: You might consider partnering with someone you trust to take some of the routine maintenance off your hands.

Actually, I already do to some degree.

Anon #3: You have set the tone for the blog and you must make sure that tone doesn't drift off the mark.

I agree, but it's not easy to deliver quality topical content on a regular basis.

Anon #4: Show us more of your personality.

This is pretty much the real me. I don't often show my grumpy side, and I think that's probably for the best. I also don't talk much about my vanilla interests, but I have mentioned, for example, that I am a theater enthusiast. I think most readers come here for the spanking-related content and that's what I strive to supply.

Anon #5: You should do in the future what is right for you and Randy, but what you have done here is really special.

I'm pleased that my blog has been beneficial for you. I enjoy being able to help people.

Thanks, everybody, for sharing your wonderful ideas! I plan to adopt several in the near future.

MBS Spanko Brunch #193

Thank you to everyone who send their blogaversary wishes. Your steadfast support, both public and private, makes me smile and inspires me to continue. That brings us to our topic this week.

Milestones in life provide us with an opportunity to ponder the scenery that has passed and wonder about the road ahead. After four years of blogging, I've quite frankly used most of my best ideas (and some of them, multiple times). So in my quest to blog on, I find myself turning to that most reliable of sources: You, my faithful readers!

Can My Bottom Smarts, or any single topic blog, continue to deliver quality content indefinitely? Should I broaden the subjects covered, invite more guest posts, highlight favorite posts from other blogs, or just somehow find more time to write?

Am I missing a great topic that I should have covered a long time ago? Or is there an old topic I could improve?

Should I take on a partner in hopes of adding a new spark to this old blog? Is it perhaps time for MBS to morph into something else? These are the questions I think about while lying awake in bed late at night. I'd love to hear your thoughts. I always appreciate kind words, but your straight talk is probably more valuable right now.

I hope you'll leave me a comment and share your ideas. I won't necessarily post a summary this time. I just want to hear what you think.

Four Years and (Still) Counting

Four years? Yeah, it seems pretty amazing to me too.

This blog began as a place to publish the spanking accounts and fiction I had accumulated over the years. I loved the idea of making my writing available to others who share this interest, but I wondered whether anyone would actually read it. I figured that I would run out of material within a few months and probably move on to another project. As you see, it didn't work out quite that way.

To celebrate the occasion, I selected a number of posts that provide a sampler of My Bottom Smarts. These articles aren't necessarily the best or the most popular. These are favorites of mine, either because I think they are good or because they capture the spirit of the blog.

I deliberately omitted regular features like In with the New, Keyword Chaos, the brunches, and Bonnie's Mailbag. These are familiar to most readers and I don't think any individual post is particularly classic.

So, here for your reading pleasure, is a four year retrospective of My Bottom Smarts.

Halloween Heatwave Our Very First Spanking Spanking Limericks Story: The Sphere Your Spanko Horoscope Welcome to Swatter's Retreat V-Day and Time for Play The Female Bottom: An Owners' Manual The Saga of the White Shorts Spanking Etiquette Love This Photo More Paddle Slogans Top Ten: Things I Would Tell Vanillas The Bikini Incident Shower Power MBS Labs: Envisioning Future Spanko Technology A Tuesday Night Rant Play: The Spanking Booth Romantic Spanking Month Video: Secretary In Praise of Dangerous Curves The Note Rambling with Randy

Upon such occasions, I feel that it's only appropriate to acknowledge everyone who has helped me along this journey. Whether you're a regular commenter, an occasional lurker, or anyone in between, you are important to me. It's your presence that makes this endeavor worthwhile.

I hope I have informed, amused, and intrigued you. I hope you now feel more comfortable with the concept (and reality!) of recreational spanking. I say this because you have done so much for me.

Thank you for four years of support and encouragement!

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch For Sep 20

Our topic this week was birthday spankings. Here are your thoughts.

Ally: My birthday is in a few days so I am looking forward to my very first birthday spanking! I'll let you know how it goes...

Mick: For my birthday, I think I'm going to give Lynda a spanking. :)

Pammie: I remember receiving birthday spankings from my father when I was kid – under 12 years old, of course. This year was the first year since then that I got a birthday spanking. We didn't have any ritual, but it was a multi-dimensional experience – a little OTK with his hand, a little paddling, and my first experience with the cane. What fun. I think it's a great birthday tradition!

Todd and Suzy: We've enjoyed birthday spankings since we first got together, with Suzy talking both hers and mine. The "naughty" years get a little extra hard swat (terrible 2s, "sweet" 16, and so on). There's always one to "grow on" too. Last year, we were spending the weekend with some spanko friends on Suzy's birthday, so there were lots of birthday spankings. It was a lot of fun. We have always kept birthday spankings playful and pretty similar to how "vanillas" might do it.

Speaking of vanilla birthday spankings, we've both been around quite a few. It hasn't happened in a long time now though. We really weren't fully in touch with being spankos back then. Maybe it's not politically correct anymore. I know when we were kids, a teacher wouldn't blink about giving a "birthday spanking." Now, they have to think twice before touching a kid's shoulder. It's a different world.

Spanky: Kallisto always insists on receiving a birthday spanking! I think last year I administered it with our large wooden paddle, but I am not sure. Turn about is not fair play in our case, as she knows better than to try and spank me on my birthday.

Anon: I got a birthday spanking in school one time. It was in kindergarten. The teacher had a special heart shaped pillow that had some birthday wish on it (I can't remember what it said because it has been nearly 15 years since I was in kindergarten!). If the birthday child wanted, he or she would lay across the teachers lap and she would very gently pat the child's (fully clothed, obviously) behind five or six times depending on the age. Then we got cupcakes. I'm sort of surprised it was okay in a public school in the mid-nineties, now that I think about it.

Indy: I had my first birthday spanking (that I remember, anyway) last year, when I turned 43. I remember that I got a particularly hard swat on 21, and for balance, of course, on 22 as well. I remember thinking, “OMG, we're barely halfway there and I'm feeling old for the first time since I turned 30.” The other thing I noticed was that, in addition to the one to grow on, there was one added for luck. I think that's a devious spanko ploy, as I'd never heard of that before!

This year, a blogger I like quite a bit was looking for volunteers to take a birthday spanking in her honor. We share the same birthday, and she is literally half my age, so I graciously volunteered to take hers instead of mine.

Predictably, I ended up taking hers in addition to mine. Twice, as I recall...

Hermione: We don't do birthday spankings. I always ask for one, but somehow that request falls on deaf ears. Maybe someday!

LU: Here's kind of funny story. My birthday this year was what actually gave me the courage to out myself as a spanko to Ru. We kept kidding around about a birthday spanking and he told me I would get a one. Well, it did not really turn out the way I was hoping, but it certainly opened the door for me. He ended up giving me a few swats in the morning, a few on our picnic, I think, and a few more later that night. They were very light and playful and did come close to my age. But hey, like I said, it paved the way for me and we both had a lot of fun teasing each other. Next year, I am sure it will get a good one!

Lurvspanking: In our house, birthday spankings are given with great pleasure and returned with even greater pleasure. I face a high number with the paddle next month and I can't wait.

I wrote a story called Time for Your Birthday Spanking. I hope everyone enjoys it.

I can't recall witnessing any birthday spankings in person, at least in recent decades.

Complicated Kitten: My Master's birthday is only a few weeks away! I certainly hope he thinks about warming my bottom to celebrate ;-)

Our Bottoms Burn: Every year Becall and I bend the other over for birthday swats. It's a fun tradition.

Thomas: Since I use just about any reason to initiate a spanking, it's only natural that birthday spankings are on the menu. Giving someone else my birthday spanking is actually one of the only things that I ever do to celebrate my own birthday.

I remember some birthday spankings given back in first grade, I think.(It was a private school, not public). I think that I remember a few others spread around the years, but none were particularly memorable. However, if I knew it was a cute vanilla girl's birthday, I'd happily offer to give her a "birthday spanking" just for the chance to swat her bottom.

Jean Marie: Birthday spankings are the only joy in my getting older. The one I received last year made turning 30 bearable, though I couldn't sit afterward (so we found a better position).

A former boyfriend was a strip-o-gram stripper,. He said that numerous vanilla girls asked him to spank them after his performance. He claimed that he never took advantage. I've never seen a vanilla birthday spanking administered. So I don't know whether if it would turn me on as much as I imagine.

Muffin: This topic got us to thinking. It's been a long time since we've done birthday spankings, because we went ”vanilla” for a long period of time, if you can imagine that! We both were dealing with some health problems. But our birthdays aren't until the spring. It'll be March before we need a birthday spanking. I guess we could be outrageous and do an anniversary spanking next month, but it's still only seven years, so that wouldn't be much of a spanking. I guess we'll just have to wait for the spring, and then he can "LAY IT ON ME!" as Niko says on Spankingtube videos.

Abby: My second grade teacher (let's see, that would have been the 1985-1986 school year) used to give birthday spankings, but I can't remember if I actually was on the receiving end of one or if I just thought about it a lot. I wonder if my spanking fetish is actually because I was programmed early on to think that after a spanking, the whole class would have cupcakes?

Sadly, if all the readers and writers in the spankosphere had been hoping for the resulting cupcakes on my birthdays recently, they would have gone hungry. I always have some debaucherous dinner on my birthday, and since the cane would be the preferred implement for both myself and Mr. W, we just can't do both. If you've ever been firmly spanked on a full stomach, you'll probably understand.

Prefectdt: I have never had a real birthday spanking :( It is one of my biggest ambitions, to receive a real birthday spanking, from an amateur enthusiast, actually on my birthday.

Loki: I give my new wife (as of Aug 18th!) birthday spankings as much as I can. One of the best occurred while we were still living with her mother. I was inspired by a Futurama spankfic and recreated the birthday spanking in it. I gave my wife a few swats with each of my spanking toys up to her age plus one!

I did the same last year and it was even better because that was the first time in our new home! Now I have to come up with a grand one for this year. It's going to be a special year for her. A milestone in her age and she is so proud of herself.

As for me, well, I do get them too. Hopefully I will have a few new toys for her to use on me. My birthday is not too far off. It's October 8th to be exact!

Tiggs: We usually do the birthday spanking thing, with me receiving mine, Dante's and anyone else's that we find out about,. LOL That's just me, always willing to give of myself freely, lol, taking spanks for anyone, anytime.

As with anything Dante does, there is never a set routine, time, rhyme or reason, and the spankings are always memorable!

BTW, Prefectdt, I would LOVE to give you that birthday spanking! I sure wish we lived closer!

Ronnie: We definitely celebrate birthday spankings in our house. Every year is different. It depends where we are. The best one I can remember was when P spanked me with roses.

R Humphries: Despite Britain's spanking fixation, the tradition of birthday spankings did not exist until the early 1980's (at least not to my knowledge). However, it was catapulted into the headlines of the British press, who like these kind of things, when a certain member of the Royal Family visited the famous London spanking restaurant, 'School Dinners', to celebrate his birthday. Prince A. was hauled on stage and publicly spanked with a slipper to the delight of the Great Unwashed.

Of course, I immediately got in on the act and have embraced the tradition ever since. Needless to say, my beloved Jojo stands in for me on my birthday, which suits us both fine. So thanks to the US of A for introducing me to this glorious tradition.

Betina: This year, I got a spanking for my 34th birthday, but I'm not that lucky every year. Actually, I got it a few days after my birthday as the kids were home that day. He decided on a 34 hand spank warm up followed by 34+1 with a dog leg brush. Judging by the heat of my seat, I must have been "just a tad" naughty this year. I still loved it though. A few times, I've even been lucky enough to receive his spanking too. I love the tradition! As it is not a custom where I come from, I have never witnessed it.

A. Lurker: This is my first time responding to your brunch, but I couldn't resist. My husband and I both have our birthday on the same day. We are both over fifty and I am always the spankee. You do the math!

Welcome to you!

Bonnie: Thank you to everyone who offered birthday wishes.

Randy and I love birthday spanking rituals. We enjoy the traditional one swat per year of age, plus one to grow on. I take the spanking for his birthday as well.

As I have chronicled, Randy loves to concoct exotic scenarios for my annual birthday spankings. In our younger years, these spankings could be quite intense. In the last couple of years, though, Randy has moved toward a slightly more sensual approach. Either way, he usually manages to surprise and delight me.

Thanks to everyone who joined us for brunch. I hope to see you again next week.

MBS Spanko Brunch #192

Once in a while, it's fun to revive a favorite topic. Given the proximity of my birthday, this one seemed like a natural.

There is one spanking ritual that is very familiar even in the vanilla world. It is, of course, the birthday spanking. That is our topic for this week's discussion.

Do you and your partner engage in birthday spankings? If so, how and when are these spankings administered?

Have you been present when presumably vanilla friends initiated birthday spankings? As a spanko, how did you react?

If you would like to submit a contribution to our brunch discussion, please leave a comment below. Once everyone has provided their thoughts, I will publish a summary of our conversation.

In with the New: Harvest Edition

September is definitely a great time to launch a spanking-oriented blog. As proof, I offer you sixteen excellent new blogs. I invite all MBS readers to check these out. If you find something you like, I encourage you to share your words of praise and support in the form of comments.

Domestic Discipline Podcast Erotic Flash Fiction Externally Motivated Wife Freedom to Submit Jules and Miranda Roleplay Spanking Mischief Managed Prayers and Pashminas Rambling Thoughts and Other Stuff Sara's Kink SM Maupin Spank Me Hard! Please? The Art of Corporal Punishment The Mystery Minx Voice in the Corner Where the Stories Live Winterbrook Hall

We happily welcome all of you to our community! I hope your blogging experience will be beneficial and fun.

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Sept 13

Our topic of the week was the role of trust in spanking relationships and how it can be developed and maintained. Here are your thoughts.

Poppy: I think that couples must talk, talk and talk. Honesty and trust are habits and take constant work. Also, I know I can say anything to my boyfriend. I know I can disagree with him and tell him why I think he is wrong and I would never, ever get in trouble for it (I have to speak politely, but then he is always polite to me).

So we talk and trust each other to listen. He also always keeps him word, in every aspect of our lives. I keep my word in all the big stuff (I can be a bit confused about bed times and stuff).

LDD-4-Me: I agree with Poppy. Communication is probably the most important ingredient. Honesty, of course, is very important too. Both partners need to be able to understand that they can say anything to one another and not have to worry about things being taken the wrong way.

lurvspanking: Trust comes from a combination of time and communication. If the answer 'I trust you' comes in response for a request to be spanked, then she/he clearly believes the partner understands the parameters.

What kind of spanking?
How hard?
How long?
Punishment or discipline?
Comfort or sex after?
If sex, rough or gentle?

None of these parameters happen the first time or even the one-thousandth time. Trust is a constantly shifting and updating emotion and both partners are equally responsible for maintaining the harmony.

I wrote a short story based on such a conversation about trust and I posted it on my blog.

T: Don't be afraid to speak up. If you are opposed to something, politely explain why. You can not have trust without respect. Respect is primary. Respect will help to foster trust.

Hermione: When I present my bare bottom to my husband, I trust him to spank me without causing me extreme pain or doing any lasting physical damage. I also trust him to take me to my limits as he sees fit. Such trust has been established because he has never harmed me in any way that I haven't wanted, or caused me any distress beyond that which I crave during an encounter.

For his part, Ron needs to believe that I don't take spanking lightly or casually. I consider it to be a sexual activity, and I would no more allow another man to spank me than I would permit anyone else to engage in other intimate behaviour. I can only hope to establish and perpetuate this trust by sharing my blogging adventures with Ron and by being completely open and honest about my desires, thus showing him that he's the only spanker in my life.

Sara: I agree with everybody above, I think trust takes communication and being real and honest with each other. Something you build together over time, investing yourself into the process and each other. It requires talking and listening, on both sides of the paddle.

Sara: When you don't have a history of trust, it is incredibly difficult to relax into a spanking as you are always aware of your limits, and ensuring those limits are not breached. When trust is there, and you know you are safe, everything becomes easier. You can just enjoy the spanking more.

Whether baring my bottom and lying over someones knee or bending over for another implement, I tell someone that I trust them not to cause me lasting bodily harm, and to deal appropriately with me. I also tell them I trust them with my body and to not go beyond the limits I have set.

It'll be good when I have a HOH for myself and I can just hand over trust! Not being in a DD relationship makes this all the more complicated!

By the way, I'm a different Sara. When I embarked on this journey I did not realise that there was already a Sara on the scene! Sorry to Sara number one!

In my blogroll alone, there are two Saras and four Sarahs. All of you have a story worth telling regardless of the name. I'm glad you're here.

Handsdown: My thoughts match Poppy's almost exactly. We're rather new at this, and though I never like to think that I'm topping from the bottom, it comes to that in order to let him know how I like to be spanked. Slower, faster, harder, how about a little rub, darling, etc. Eventually, I hope most of this will be unnecessary, but it’s especially true now when he comes at me with a new toy. We are both learning each others' desires and expectations.

Now that's all true from the bottom’s perspective, but what about the spanker giving his/her trust to the spankee? He/she is trusting that this is what you really want and you're not going to use it against him/her if the relationship ends. So, other than talk, talk, talk, a little patience and time are also required. I wanted to bring out that trust is a double-sided paddle with holes – handle with care.

Daisy: Trust is established over time. It takes time to get to know someone, and you give limited trust at first. This is like laying the foundation. When that does not collapse (as in, that person stands the test of time), you gradually build more upon those foundations. That is, you get to know each other more. As long as you are both honest, open, give each other respect, and there is plenty of communication, the trust will grow and grow.

Ally: Spanking did open us up to a whole new level of vulnerability. With time, experience, and effort, our trust has grown and continues to grow as it's necessary for us to communicate openly and honestly. We have had to be purposeful in these areas as it's not always easy.

Muffin: This comes from Cali-Cutie & Mr. K and Muffin & Mr. Darling, who are enjoying a spanking-good weekend in the English countryside. We've discussed this together, and agree that COMMUNICATION is the key, before, during, and after spankings. Mutual respect is essential, all of the time, not just with spankings. Go out of your way to spoil each other as often as possible.

Throck: My wife, C, spanks me because she loves me, and really for no other reason. I am aware of that and find it difficult not to trust someone that I have been in love with for well over thirty years. In fact, I would say that I trust her more after each spanking she gives me and I feel incredibly bound to her. I would say to build trust, spank!

Tiggs: Trust HAS to be there from the beginning, full, complete, total trust, from and for both partners. But with trust must come open and honest communication, again from both partners.

I don't have the slightest idea how to build on it, because it MUST be there in that capacity from the beginning. If it isn't, it foretells an ominous conclusion for both the spanking play and the relationship.

Trust is enduring, but it is also fragile. Once broken or bent, only the people involved can determine whether it can be rebuilt in full. But without it, there is absolutely no use in even trying to play around with spanking. It becomes an exercise in futility.

On the flip side, if the trust IS there completely from the beginning, then the intimate nature of spanking play only strengthens that and the communication as well!

LU: I believe there are many aspects to retaining and building trust in a relationship. I do believe that respect is essential. If you lose respect for your partner, you will eventually lose the trust. Communication is important, but can be meaningless without complete honesty. If you have open, honest, meaningful communication, trust can grow and strengthen. Forgiveness is also very important. We all mess up sometimes. We say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing, or hurt our partners sometimes without even knowing it. We must be able to divulge and forgive. No holding grudges! In my experience, the grudge holding can start a chain reaction that can severely damage respect and trust between two people.

As for spanking, I do believe the trust must be there before you engage in this activity. I also believe it can strengthen the trust, love and respect you have for your partner and bring you closer together as a couple and as friends. Since RU and I share such an intimate activity, it makes it much easier for us to say things, good and bad, to each other. I believe as long as we continue to be honest, supportive, loving and forgiving, we should have no problem. I also recommend doing the little things to make your partner happy every day. Little things let them know that you really care and you know what makes them happy.

Prefectdt: I suppose that not being part of a couple, that this question does not fully apply to me, but even for multiple partner players, trust is vital. In fact, I think that the trust bond between spanker and spankee is the most vital element. I think that T summed it up very well in highlighting respect for limits, respect for confidences, and most of all, respect for each other.

Spank-A-Lot: I believe that communication is key in fostering trust and maintaining that level in a spanking relationship. Before a couple embarks on a spanking relationship, it is imperative that both parties communicate their expectations and feelings. Once in a relationship, this includes maintaining the communication, as well as respecting agreed upon limits and boundaries.

Anon: This is something with which I struggle. As someone who has had her trust abused by people before, I find it hard to give my trust to those who have earned it. I also have difficulties with knowing that there are people who trust me unconditionally as I have troubles from my past in relating to that as well.

All I can say with certainty regarding trust currently is that it is immeasurably fragile, and once broken, nearly impossible to rebuild.

Bonnie: I think trust derives from direct experience. We trust people who demonstrate themselves to be worthy. When someone comes through in a difficult situation, we become more inclined to invest our faith in them when a similar circumstance arises in the future. This trust-building is typically a gradual process that may take weeks or months of positive interactions.

I agree that trust must work both ways and it develops in the same fashion. At first, both people may be tentative and grant their trust with a limited scope and duration. Given ample time and communication (there's that word again!), the couple will hopefully grow more confident in themselves and with each other. At this stage, they are able to make the sort of commitment that reflects their underlying trust.

Maintaining trust, for me, means demonstrating your worthiness every day. This doesn't necessarily involve saving someone from a burning building. It could be as simple as taking shirts to the dry cleaners, buying flowers, or preparing a favorite meal. These small acts are reminders of the love that is shared and of the trust upon which it stands.

Thanks to everyone who participated!

MBS Spanko Brunch #191

The weekend is upon us at last. That means it's time for another spanko brunch. For those just joining us, the brunch is a weekly virtual get-together where we discuss a question related to our favorite subject. Everyone is welcome to join in. There is no sign-up, no membership dues, no initiation (though that has been suggested!), and no contract. You can just stop by and contribute your thoughts. You can even be anonymous if you prefer.

So here's today's question...

Trust is essential for any successful relationship, but it takes on additional significance when spanking is involved. What can couples do to build and preserve the trust between them?

To answer our question, enter a comment below. Once everyone has had a turn, I will post an edited summary of our discussion.

Keyword Chaos: Rerun Edition

Ready or not, here comes Keyword Chaos again!

• white panty spankings - There's another dumb implement


• spanko vision - That's exactly what I worry about when we go out right after a spanking and I wonder whether people can somehow discern my tender condition


• taught to wear panties - Are these classes offered for credit?


• wet spanking sobbing - You are totally doing this the wrong way


• baby got back - You better believe it


• bare ass sorority sisters spanked paddled - The members of the bare ass sorority were popular all over campus


• bare bottom whippings school girls on parade - I wonder if they had their own float?


• belt spanking vacation - Now, was this a vacation that featured belt spankings or a vacation from the belt spankings?


• bikini spank me - I suppose the top might hurt a little if it had underwires


• bonnie on her back for me - Only in your dreams


• clean true childhood spanking stories - Oh, yeah. Scientific research. Right.


• couple in oregon that believes in adult spanking - I think there must be several of those


• do spankings relax a woman - They can if delievered by someone who knows how


• drawing procedure of trinidad lotto plus - Keep your day job, dude


• first choice spanking - Second choice cleaning the bathroom


• first time I in spankies - WTF?


• free daddy spanks daughter daily begging him to stop - Incarcerated child abusing daddy daily begging cellmate to stop


• gangbang boat sex story - I wouldn't want to have to swab the poopdeck after that event


• great spanking positions - You can have a great spanking in lots of different positions


• guys that spank on the first date - I warned our daughter to watch out for that type


• her bottoom spanked - It rhymes with kaboom


• home mad porn mered sex porn - I don't think I have that here


• horoscopes who likes spanking - Huh?


• how do I start to spank my wife - Step one: Talk with her


• I want to be spanked by my mother & was aroused, where can I talk about this topic - I don't run across many kinky Oedipal incest forums


• if I spend enough time feeling like rock bottom, will I become it? I must say that the view is tremendous down here and there is comfort knowing that I will not likely sink any lower, that this is as far as it goes. oh, and this emotional scrimmage - Who would have thought of using a search engine as a blog?


• is it legal to spank your wife - Yes, but only if she gives her consent


• is spanking a common fantasy? - Take a look around my blogroll and then make up your own mind


• laboratory utensils black rubber - Kinky geeks are just the best!


• mideavil spanking movies - Regrettably we have no film from the millenia prior to the invention of the movie camera


• my bottom hurts when I get spanked - Yes, that happens to me too


• my smarts bottom - That's blog my


• nylon slip - Some poor person was searching for lingerie and ended up here instead


• paddling\spanking games for kids to play online - This is wrong on several levels


• professional spankologists in new york - If you can take it here, you can take it anywhere


• skinny bubble butt - That's like jumbo shrimp


• spanking as an aphrodisiac - It works for us!


• spanking grown women common in the 50's - It's not exactly unheard of today


• spanking midget - Definitely need a long-handled implement


• spanking tryout panties - Once you wear a pair during a spanking, you can't take them back


• spankings big bad womans - Why Grandma, what a big paddle you have!


• why is spanking during sex fun - Try it and see for yourself


• work that rhymes with spanking - flanking, ranking, banking, clanking, franking, cranking, yanking, pranking, tanking, blanking, and of course, wanking


• bonnie spanks - No, actually I don't


• how to take a spanking - Wear a ski mask and wait until no one is looking


• too big for my panties - Do try the next size up


• tight little asshole - You could have just said that she's a petite, ill-tempered cheapskate


• backyard spanking - There's nothing better than cooking up a little fun out by the barbeque


• bare bottom panties - We call those thongs


• books on playful spanking - I've got hundreds of links, but this guy wants a book


• caned till it hurts - That would be one stroke, right?


• carmella soprano oral sex - That might be one way to keep Tony away from the goomahs


• discipline your wives - Hey, Sultan, get your harem in line


• do you need a spanking - I'm sure Randy thinks I do


• easiest spanking position - There's nothing more pathetic than a lazy top


• electric bottom spanker - See above


• feminist spanking frequency - Twenty swats per minute should be quite adequate


• hairbrush spanking yard sale - I can understand wanting to get rid of the dreaded brush, but that's not the right approach


• halloween costumes using girdles - Be careful cutting the eye holes


• how to minimize redness from a spanking - Don't get spanked


• I love my lepard undies - Leppin' lizards!


• ladies spanking panties - It works a lot better if you spank the panties when someone is wearing them


• lickcycles - Now there's a mental picture!


• real homemade spanking - Now with all organic ingredients


• self spanking in shower - Honey, what on earth happened to my shampoo bottle?


• sexy supergirl in spanking position - Talk about your buns of steel!


• spanking faces - No, no, no. Use the other end!


• spanking using pillows to muffle the sound - A spanking with pillows would be extremely quiet, but wouldn't accomplish much


• spanks for cheerleading - Ooo yeah bumps, Whack their rumps, Old wood shed, Strap 'em red, Grab your plank, Good hard spank, Cheer one more, Keep 'em sore!


• underneath my little girl bottom - There be little girl legs perhaps?


• what kind of girl am I? - Search engine psychology is dicey at best


• wife spank bonnie - Around here, it's husband spank Bonnie

Poll: Settle the Debate

Do spanking enthusiasts fancy an attractive posterior for more than just swats? You decide...

Do you think there is a connection between an interest in spanking and an interest in anal play? Yes No Current Results

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Sept 6

Our topic this week was changes in perceptions that result from discovering one's spanko nature. Here are your observations.

Anon: While I have accepted to myself my spanko nature, I haven't (yet) spoken about it with anyone else, though I plan to bring it up with my boyfriend soon! As such, one of the first things I notice about a man, whether it's a friend, a guy in the grocery checkout line, a stranger on the street, or wherever, is his hands. Are they big? Strong? Does it look like he uses them in a physical labour job? And most frequently, what would it feel like to get smacked with them? Of course, I don't do anything about these thoughts most of the time, but they are most definitely in my mind.

Lash: Since Meow introduced me to the spanko world in January, I am certainly not vanilla anymore, nor in Kansas. I have very positive masculine feelings and attitude that I hadn't had before. And I usually feel much more dominant. I don't want to go back to Kansas ever again.

LDD-4-Me: There are no two ways about it, my way of looking at people has changed. For instance, there is no doubt in my mind that my future sister-in-law desperately needs a really good spanking. I've got to talk to the bro-in-law.

Tiggs: I've grown more open-minded and curious about the private lives of others than ever before, thanks in large part to our kinkier play. It just naturally takes me outside myself, out of my "norm" and that in turn makes it even easier and more natural to accept everyone else as they are, or as they might be, behind closed doors!

Pammie: I've liked light spanking and bondage for many years. But in the past year, I've *really* gotten into these activities much more, and added BDSM to the mix.

And, yes, it definitely has changed the way I look at men. Since I am dating and not currently in any type of relationship, I always size up potential partners for their kinkiness and their dance moves – among other things, of course.

Spanking, bondage, and BDSM are always delicate subjects to bring up, but I bring them up because they are important to me. Of course, if the guy doesn't dance, I don't even bother. If they make the cut on dancing, and they're not too fat or too short, I coyly bring up the fact that I'm "a bit kinky." If their eyes light up, cool!

Love4her: I tend to look at a woman and wonder.... Give...? Receive...? Switch...?

It adds a bit of spice to the day!

T: As a Spanko I often find myself "judging" who around me needs a firm hand. I know quite a few who would benefit from a good spanking!

Cookie: I would say that I do look at life and people a lot differently now. It has changed my relationships some in that Thomas and I met as spankos and it has been the best times of my life and the best relationship I have had. So while he gave my first adult spanking, he also opened my eyes to a lot more things that I would never had done before. These include going to spanking parties, making videos and all that. I found that I do look at others differently as well and I find a lot more spanking related references in everyday things.

Ally: I find myself looking at couples I know and wondering if they too are kinky, especially when they make comments that might a provide clue. Many times, Brad and I will be talking and one of us will say, "Yeah, that person needs a good spanking!"

Throck: I have had the desire to be spanked by my wife for quite some time. She is still very vanilla, but is beginning to see my need and respond to it. As a result, I seem to feel a growing dependence on her, and find myself currying her favor in anticipation of a spanking. It is a very interesting phenomenon.

With regard to other people, I find that I look at women and try to surmise whether or not they would be spankers, and try to imagine whether male friends of mine are spanked by there wives. I remember one time having the owner of my small company over for dinner (a very type A personality). He made some comment to which his wife took exception. She said, "Are you going to need a spanking when we get home?" I have wondered for years whether she really does that to him.

I have another female colleague at work that is a very no-nonsense, take-charge person. I often wonder if she would be a spanker. She'd make a good one, but I'll bet she is as vanilla as the day is long.

Sixofthebest: Yes, I do look at other women's bottoms for their spankability. I'll name you three – Sarah Palin, Condoleezza Rice, and Katie Couric. I would love to bare and spank each of these women's bottoms. Be it with a hand, paddle, hairbrush, birch, cane, or whip, what a beautiful, pleasurable, and enjoyable task that would be.

Or was that perhaps Tina Fey and Amy Poehler?

Hermione: We both tend to speculate about other couples' sex lives a bit more, and now that we realize how common spanking is, one of us will usually wonder whether spanking is part of the relationship. We sometimes discuss whether spanking would improve the behaviour of certain adult family members.

How has it changed the way I look at myself? It has made me proud of my body and comfortable with the way it looks. I wear fitted clothing; nothing overly revealing, but I don't try to hide my shape.

I also tend to wonder about certain people at the office, who manage to fit the word "spank" into conversations fairly frequently. It no longer simply makes me blush. Now I speculate as well.

Scunge: I feel so MUCH better about myself! Sir HATES it when I put myself down, and yes, it is a SPANKABLE offense! I have never had a good body image, and now, it's not so bad. Sir LOVES my curves, so now I am starting to see that, yes, I am a beautiful woman with a very caring man who will pull me back when I need it. I find myself looking at men's hands more, especially their palms! :)

Jean Marie: For the boy with whom I lost my virginity in college and the guys I dated in that decade, I put spanking at a lower priority (behind looks and personality, etc.). Now as a woman in her thirties, I put spanko orientation at the top of the list. I simply couldn't have a future with someone who didn't desire to spank me hard and often. If I'd come out sooner, I would have saved myself a lot of heartache, and probably rewarded myself with much more delicious bottom-ache.

Anon VII: I honestly do not remember a time when I was vanilla. From quite early in my childhood, I "sized-up" girls my age, and sometimes older, first in terms of their bottoms, with eyes and hair more or less tied for second place, followed by shoulders. It all revolved around the fantasy of having them over my lap and enjoying the view not from head to toe but from head to thigh. That assessment (no pun intended!) shifted to women once I was grown. In my teen years I added the fantasy of having them bent over for a paddling with my being able to see their delighted but pained facial anticipations and reactions in a mirror as well as their hair, shoulders, and of course, bottoms.

The big change was one of understanding that there was nothing wrong with me. My fantasies always involved someone who wanted to be spanked, and that my thoughts were shared at least to some extent by probably a majority of heterosexual males. During my college years, I felt further vindicated upon learning that there also were a lot of ladies who fantasized about being spanked. These realizations were very relieving. I was raised in a culture in which only very straight, traditional sex between spouses was tolerated. Carnal thoughts about anyone other than one's spouse were viewed as sins and any fantasies about spanking, if shared, would elicit the observation that I needed to see either a psychiatrist or "the preacher."

Loki: For me, this started when I turned thirteen. I always looked at girls in my class and wondered what they would look like being spanked. That thought grew stronger with each spanking scene I found on TV.

Over the years, my views have matured. When I look at women now, I find myself looking at what they are wearing (pants, skirts, etc.). I wonder what's underneath, how their bottoms look, if they would be into the spanking scene, what kind of toys they would take, what kind of spanking they would have, and how they would react (i.e., whether they would be a crier or a fighter or the like).

It does make my workday somewhat interesting, I can tell you that.

Tom: I have never had a time when I did not imagine spanking the others in my life. About the only evolution I seem to have experienced is that in my pre-school and early elementary days, I was as attracted to spanking other boys as I was for girls. Then, as my heterosexuality evolved, my interest in other males extinguished and my spanking aspirations and fantasies came to focus exclusively on women.

It doesn't really matter whether it is the woman in the produce department at the grocery store, our waitress, some of my neighbors, most of my staff (many of whom have been with me now for eleven years), someone in the car next to me at the traffic light, a friend with whom we frequently socialize (who I sometimes think might actually be interested), or... well, all women who I find attractive (and quite frankly, as I wind my way into my sixties, the dragnet of women whom I find potentially attractive has expanded exponentially... Not yet in a geri-chair? I may well find you attractive). I want to spank you and imagine just how that would go. :)

This did not evolve when I came to accept my need for spanking. I suspect it began as soon as my early development reached the point of being able to discriminate self in contrast to others.

Meg: I realized around the onset of puberty that I was not vanilla. I especially remember an attractive, young male teacher about whom I fantasized giving me a skirt-up, grab-the-ankles paddling across my panties. On occasions, when he'd take boys out into the hall, I'd get so aroused that I was afraid others would see me breaking a sweat and hear my heavy breathing. I also had a horror of not having my skirt (usually short and pleated) properly under me and leaving a wet spot on the seat of my desk. However, I didn't share my thoughts even with my most trusted friends, because I also lived in a culture in which such thoughts were viewed as not only abnormal but also evil. It was in college that I learned that I was far from alone. I went through the sorority initiation routine, but found that it hurt without giving me a thrill except when I fantasized that my spanker was male. Then I got my then-boyfriend, now-husband to spank me hard with his frat paddle for cheating on my diet (not that I really needed either the diet or that motivation to get back onto it), and, as they say, the rest is history.

Poppy: Since I have accepted myself as someone who gets spanked, I like myself more. It seems that I make more sense now.

It is partly that I feel more centered and calm which makes me a nicer person, but it's more than that. I can flirt more, I smile more, and I think I look different. I feel more adept even when I am not with the man who spanks me. My emotions make sense, so I can trust them more, even the ones that have nothing to do with that area of my life.

I understand that I look at men and wonder if they spank (or if not spank, if they are assertive) and at women and wonder if they get spanked. Some women, I really think, would be so much happier if they were spanked by the right guy.

In short, though, I feel like I have slotted into place. I feel pretty and loved. It is all summed up by this quote from Daddy Long Legs by Jean Webster:

“I am beginning, in fact, to feel at home in the world – as though I really belonged to it and had not just crept in on sufferance.”

Lurvspanking: This is a brand new blog created today called "Spank Me Hard! ...Please?" My new blog will be fiction and poetry revolving around spanking and sex and how the two are connected. My post for today's Spanko Brunch is called, "An Office Thrashing".

LU: I am currently in my first spanking relationship and have only allowed myself to "accept" my spanko-ness in the last few months and relate this to my partner. I feel that it gave me a new perception on the world of kink and made me realize there are lots of people out there like us (so we are not so strange after all). I think it has enhanced my sex life and sexual nature. Being honest about what I want makes that whole experience much more enjoyable. As for others, for my partner, RU, and me, it is a constant form of entertainment. It's sort of our secret running joke and we have no end of fun with it. Within the rest of the population, well, I see brats all the time now that I just know need a good spanking. LOL But I look at many things differently. These include clothing, cooking utensils, rulers, and brushes. I think of everything in another frame of mind. For example, on vacation, I need a hotel room as far away from the rest of the guests as possible. It has changed my outlook on many things, but it is a nice feeling to be honest with myself and RU.

Ronnie: I must admit I tend to wonder about other people more now, whether they are in a spanking relationship or not, like friends, people in the office and even in the street. Sometimes when were sitting in a restaurant, we try to guess which couples if any would be into spanking.

Has it changed the way I look at myself? If anything, I would say it's made me a little more confident and comfortable with myself.

M Duke: I accepted that I had a spanking kink in university, with my then-boyfriend, and we weren't secretive or shy about it at all, so most of my friends are aware that I am into bondage, rough sex, spankings, and being dominated. However, my last boyfriend was the one who explored my kinks even further, anal especially.

Now every time I meet a man, I think about whether or not he might be interested in doing some of the filthier things to me. I hope that he likes the same kinds of things, knows how to do them to me, and I speculate whether he'd be good at them...

I guess you could say I'm obsessed!

Handsdown: Thanks for using my suggestion, Bonnie. Spanking has changed us both in so many ways. I know besides changing the way we both look at things, it's really calmed me down. Nothing unwinds me like a good spanking. I must confess that I sum up arm muscles and hands on guys when I'm out and about, and when I see couples, I play the spanko or vanilla game – guessing about them. My husband plays, too, he confessed. LOL It's all good fun. Overall, I'm a much happier person since I've stepped out of the closet and over his knee.

Greenwoman: I seem to have a radar for other kinky people these days. I can look at someone and tell if I can let my hair down just a little bit with a reference to spanking in front of someone. I can tell if I could flirt with someone.

I don't quite know how that's possible, but its as if I am looking in the mirror or something. Its fun to speculate about what kind of play someone likes too. *smiles*

Perhaps we could call that ability “playdar?”

Bonnie: My answer is similar to those of Anon VII and Tom. I think I've always been a spanko. My affection for spanking and its effect upon my perceptions have certainly evolved over the years, but there wasn't any definitive transformation such that I could compare before and after.

I wish I had a more satisfying answer, but this is what there is.

Thanks to everyone who joined in, and also to Handsdown for suggestion this intriguing question! I hope to see you all again at next weekend's brunch.

MBS Spanko Brunch #190

We're now into September and the spanko brunch rolls on. I hope everyone is enjoying a great weekend.

Our question of the week was suggested by our friend, Handsdown. She says:

"My husband confessed that before I got him into spanking me, when he looked at women, he wondered about sex. Now he wonders about spanking them. He now even sizes up bottoms for their spankability. He likes them big. I can safely guess that he's no longer vanilla, is he? LOL"

Like Dorothy, he is not in Kansas any more.

To what degree has acceptance of your spanko nature altered the way you look at yourself and other people? If your perceptions have changed, how has this impacted your relationship(s)?

To join in our conversation, just enter a comment below. Everyone with an interest in the topic is welcome to participate. Once each voice has been heard, I will post an edited summary.

Robert Heinlein: Spanko to the Stars (and Planets)

Last week, Indy and I were recalling reading science fiction novels by Robert Heinlein. His stories were, I believe, my first introduction to erotic spanking. As a wide-eyed teenager who was already fascinated with both sex and spankings, this material served as a kind of Rosetta Stone.

Our friend Missy subsequently described an interesting resource for anyone who shared this experience. An author named Kessily has compiled an exhaustive collection of Heinlein spanking excerpts. Playing off the name of his most popular work, it's called Spanker in a Strange Land. Thanks go to CF Productions for making this information available.

The sheer number of references is staggering. Heinlein was a dedicated spanko to be sure and he obviously liked promoting this favorite pastime. The passages, for the most part, seem a little clumsy by today's standards. In particular, Heinlein's depictions of female characters often lacked depth. Even so, many older spankos cite his novels as an early influence.