The Female Bottom: An Owner’s Manual

Hi! It’s me, your bottom. That thing upon which you sit. The place where, you know...

If you take good care of me, I can provide a lifetime of fun. We both enjoy spankings and sex, but it's important to remember a few simple rules:

1. For safety and a more enjoyable spanking experience, keep those love pats on the spanking surfaces illustrated above. Whacks delivered on the hips, legs, or too high on the bottom can injure bones.


2. When starting with a new implement, test it first to gain an understanding of its capabilities and the recipient's responses.


3. Be careful with wooden or similar rigid spanking implements, especially if the spankee is slender. Applied improperly, they can cause serious harm.


4. Thin, whippy implements have the potential to break the skin. Use them with caution.


5. A few bruises and minor abrasions are all part of a good time, but any bleeding cuts need to be attended promptly to prevent infection.


6. The quality of a spanking is not measured by a numerical count, skin color, or intensity. It is best measured by the value the participants derive from the experience.


7. That long slow kiss afterward is great for you, but don't forget my aftercare as well. A gentle rubdown with some soothing aloe lotion is a special delight.


8. Should you decide to insert a toy or a body part inside, please, oh please, do it slowly and apply some lubricant first.


9. Anal sex is like Las Vegas – What happens in there stays in there. Objects or body parts that enter must not visit any other orifice until after they have been thoroughly washed.

Treat me right and we can have a splendid time together. Despite being the butt of so many jokes, I still have a sense of humor. Just please, spare us that whole "Wide Load" gag, OK?

Keywords: spanking, spanking safety, female bottom