Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Dec 30

Our topic this week was one that was suggested by several readers. We considered the phenomenon of “topping from the bottom.” As I had hoped, this question brought out an excellent mix of perspectives. Here are your thoughts.

PK: Topping from the bottom is a necessary evil when you are married to someone who never had the first thought of spanking his wife! In our marriage, we were (and really are) equal partners. Nick never thought of trying to be a dominant or of me being submissive to him. Now, after I brought it up and did some topping to get things started, he understands much more of what it all means. There are still times when I want to top so much that I can't stand it, but I try to back off and let this part of our relationship find its own balance.

Lori: This is a subject with which I am pretty experienced. I usually make an attempt to top from the bottom, such as telling my husband that he doesn't need to use this or that, or he doesn't need to do it that way, etc. He firmly lets me know that he doesn't need my help and occasionally lays a few extra swats on me to make sure I know that it's not appreciated.

However, I believe there are times when it is acceptable. Recently, during a spanking, I found myself in an uncomfortable, awkward position. The position caused my husband to spank from an unusual angle. He was landing the swats too high up and snapping me outside the target area (which he shouldn't be able to miss). I did tell him to please let me up and change what we were doing. At first, he took my plea as yet another topping from the bottom moment. But he did listen to me and we made the change. My husband is in control of all spankings and I like it this way. I just need to be reminded all the time.

Robin: What a timely brunch topic -- I have a tendency to occasionally top from the bottom (TFTB). That’s mainly because we're still trying to figure some things out (and since I'm the one who does the 'research', I feel it is only 'right' for me to share the info with DH :D). However, DH is becoming much less tolerant of my attempts to 'advise' him.

To us, topping from the bottom is when, during the actual spanking, I make the effort to 'instruct' DH about how the spanking should occur. Examples include the choice of implement, position, duration, intensity, etc.

Yep, I do this. But it’s less often lately, as the response from DH tends to be painful. Most recently, I was pointing out to DH that my bottom has a larger area that can be spanked than he usually focuses on (he tends to go for the undercurve and ignores the, ahem, fleshier area above there). His response was to pick up the dreaded bath brush and use it heavily on the area indicated. He also reprimanded me verbally to remind me that he's in charge.

When just starting out, especially if both parties are completely new to spanking, I think TFTB is necessary/acceptable/desirable in order for the spanker to gain some understanding of what the spankee is experiencing and where limits are. At some point, unless it is an accepted part of the couple's dynamic, I would think that TFTB would decrease, and only occur in situations such as Lori's. My attempts at TFTB have decreased, and I expect they will continue to decline as we gain more experience and greater comfort with our roles.

Abby: I'm guilty of this as well! It looks like I am in good company. I think when the interest level is as high as it is here in the blogosphere, a world of literate, intelligent, enthusiastic spankos, it's difficult not to take an active role in the thing that excites us so clearly. If I've been shopping online all day for a new strap, I'm going to be disappointed in a paddling and have no trouble saying so. If I've fantasized about a particular phrase or position, I want to make it come to fruition! After all, this is my fetish too, and it's not just about submission.

I think, in the best cases, topping from the bottom is more about being fully communicative than really trying to take control. There are also times when my husband wants me to make decisions, such as how many strokes I deserve, or with what implement, and sometimes I don't want to be the one making those decisions. Bottoming from the top -- now there's another subject! If I'm playing the role correctly, I can't imagine why, when asked, "How many?" I would respond with anything but, "None, thank you!"

Mary: I liked your "bottoming from the top" phrase. It’s so rarely thought of as a problem but...

We frequently communicate by email. Many times over the years, he has asked or I have shared what worked and what didn't. Of course, I don't know if that qualifies as TFTB. I think it is simply part of learning about one another. In many ways, it has been these conversations that open the door for my partner to push further. After all, if I was OK with what happened before, he knows what works and where he can push. My pleas are rarely heard during a spanking, but there are times when I may coyly ask if I am going to get more with the ___. He usually interprets that as a request, and is often only too happy to deliver. When my spankings are about discipline, there are generally rules in place because I want to work on a behavior that is an issue for me. He rarely imposes such rules without some input from me. Many may see that as TFTB, but it works for us because I like there to be a reason for my spankings. However, he is also perfectly happy with the only reason being that he wants to spank me (Just because). For the most part, we are partners, so TFTB isn't anything that hangs us up either way.

Jessica: I am with you all on your comments. As with a couple of you, we are pretty new to this. Dan and I have always been equals (if anything, I am a little more on the aggressive side). I have tried to let him take the lead completely when it comes to spankings and sex. I did have to tell him a few things here and there to start, or he would have had no clue what I wanted or needed. I do drop hints between spankings, such as sending sexy emails telling him that I am thinking of him and... [fill in the blank]. He has also been really active online and researching (I'm a lucky girl!).

Paul: Bonnie, many of your commenters said what I was thinking.

If the sub/bottom is more experienced than the Dom/Top, then some TFTB may be necessary. It is also beneficial when communication is an issue. Otherwise, it should gradually decrease over time.

Bonnie, may 2008 bring you and yours all of what you need and some of what you want.

PBF: What I really hate is being asked to top from the bottom. I’m talking about stuff like, "How many swats do you want?" No, don't ask me. It's your job to tell me how many I am getting. So I have taken to saying, "None, I have been very good today!"

Hermione: This is a very challenging topic, Bonnie! Like Robin, I'm the one who does all of the research, and I know what I'd like to try. I buy all the implements, but it's up to Ron to decide which one to use. I like that, and I told him that the decision was his. So I guess I'm guilty of TFTB.

During a spanking, I feel I'm in no position (sorry, couldn't resist) to do anything other than take it. I'm completely cooperative and Ron's in charge. However, on a couple of occasions I've been reluctant to accept that it was over, and have asked for, and been given, additional swats.

Outside the actual spanking session, I think it's good to talk about what works, what doesn't, and what I'd like to explore next. I like Mary's idea of exchanging e-mails. It's so hard for me to talk about it, even if it's with the one person who knows me best.

morningstar: Slips in quietly - apologizing for being absent for so long… Offers homemade cinnamon bread as a peace offering…

Topping from the bottom was/is my greatest nemesis, I think. There are times when I so dearly want something or other and I fight the urge to suggest it, or blatantly ask for it.

I know Sir would not punish me for trying to direct Him. He would think about my request and act / or not act according to His wishes. It is the same during a session. I may whine and sniffle and pout and stamp my foot as much as I like about too much pain, wrong toy, or whatever. But ultimately, it comes down to Sir's choice. (and I have to add, Sir is pretty much all the time dead on for what will really work for me and what won't).

Having said that, Sir bought me a new t-shirt on Friday that has the words "Bossy Bottom" boldly emblazoned across the chest. It made us both laugh. I may try to be bossy, but it is ultimately up to Him whether I get away with it or not.

I rather like this topic, and I am thinking about houseboy and his need to top from the bottom. Maybe I will run with this topic in a blog entry of my own…

But for now, happy holidays to one and all. May the New Year bring you love, peace and contentment.

Fifi Unleashed: I think TFTB is a convenient catch phrase for the communication needed between spanking partners. I would expect it in a new-to-spanking relationship. My former top was uninformed and unimaginative, so it was necessary for me to ask for this or suggest that. Otherwise, I would have been bored to tears during a spanking. I always felt like I was telling him what to do and it gave me the feeling of throwing a surprise party for myself. That detracts from the whole experience.

If the bottom is in distress or needs to change positions to avoid a pinched nerve (or whatever), I believe that's where a safe word would apply, and I don't consider using a safe word to be TFTB at all.

Welcome, Fifi!

Paige Tyler: I totally top from the bottom when my hubby is spanking me! I'll tell him to spank me lighter or softer, and even tell him to switch back to the leather paddle or his hand if he's using the wooden one. And of course, I can't resist asking him to stop spanking and touch me! LOL!

All of our spankings are erotic and playful, though, so he doesn't mind. Even though he does like to remind me which one of us in charge! LOL!

Sally: This is a great topic! I too am a little new at this and I am the one doing all the research. LVP will not read the blogs, but he will allow me to share some of the things I find. It is a learning experience for both of us. It has forced us to communicate more about what each of us wants sexually. After 24 years of marriage, who'd have thought there were so many new things to try? My TFTB serves to share these ideas and has been quite necessary. However, like many of you, once the spanking begins, he is completely in charge of what implement, how many swats and for how long. I still try to direct, but he usually reminds me that he is the one who will decide! Since what I really want is for him to take charge, I am more than happy to let him lead!

Terpsichore: My husband and I are embarking on this journey together and communication is part of the learning process. Since it is my fantasy being fulfilled, my husband is supportive and listens to any information or feelings I have. My husband spanks me playfully and is becoming more comfortable with the idea. I am also becoming more comfortable sharing my needs with him, which has always been difficult for me. My hope is that with time he will get to know my moods, desires, and needs and I will be able to let go and enjoy the sensations of the moment without topping from the bottom. However, being completely new, for us, communication is key.

Dear Bonnie and everyone at MBS, I wish all of you and your loved ones a very Happy New Year! Wish me luck! I am hoping to be welcomed into the New Year with my first real over the knee spanking. :-) (Hopeful, but with no expectations other than to spend the evening with the man I love with our two children sleeping and dreaming sweet dreams.)

Elle: I find this subject very interesting as I am a fairly recent arrival into the world of all these kinks. My boyfriend and I are still finding out what works for us. It's a complicated relationship and too complicated for me even to explain right now.

As far as spankings go, the giver (whichever of us it may be) is "in control" at the time. I am very dominant in day-to-day life and yet, I have such a strong feeling of wanting him to forcibly take control over me. Overall, he dominates about 80% of the time and I play dominant the other 20%. I like the experimentation and I do think it's healthy in a relationship, especially when it's my first relationship that has truly explored this side of me.

When I am being spanked, he likes me fighting. He likes me to kick and scratch and bite. He likes to know I am enjoying the pain and he likes me leaning into it and gasping on the edge of orgasm. He likes to hear what I want.

"Oh...oh...don't..."
"Don't?"
"Don't STOP"

He HATES it if I blink up at him and play virginal. When I do that, I get swiftly reminded of what a bad girl I really am.

When I'm spanking him, or being dominant more generally, he doesn't top me much, although he will tell me to do it harder. He doesn't have to do that as much, now that I've got my head around the idea that this is someone else who enjoys the pain as much as I do. When I'm "dominant," the thing that most turns me on is knowing that he's letting me do this, and that at any moment he could (and let's face it, might) overpower me.

I really like the double dynamic all this switching around gives us. I know a lot of people frown on role switching, but I honestly find it much more satisfying than having set roles.

Jean Marie: Topping from the bottom is a subtle, fine line. Basically, I try not to overstep that boundary.

For instance, I could say to my lover as he's pulling down my panties, "I know that you're gonna have to make this a strict punishment because I've been so bad..." This just lets him know that I'm into it. But if I were to say, "Ow! That cane hurts so good; Give me ten more just like that," I would've gone too far.

But I can accomplish the same thing just by absorbing the stripe and sticking my deserving butt out provocatively after each lick, and I'm sure to get the ten hard stingers that I craved in the first place. When it's done with body language, it's so much more eloquent, more thrilling, and our roles stay defined.

To top from the bottom overtly would upset our power balance. I wouldn't feel submissive or feminine doing it. It would seem emasculating. Now, that said, I may brat and respond to a painful and well-placed cane stripe across my backside, "What? Is there a mosquito in here? I think I just felt something ticklish on my ass..." Then I'm sure to get the hard whipping I need.

In the give-and-take colloquy that is our D&s relationship, I wouldn't dream of telling him what to do. But I can suggest, infer, or ask. Between my lover and me, it's all about the tone in our interplay. I find it sexy to be put in my place, where I belong and feel comfortable - on the bottom, with my bottom bared and turned up for attention.

Maybe another thing that makes crossing that boundary distasteful is the fact that, in my younger years, in every budding relationship, I had to top from the bottom initially by bringing up the subject of spanking. I had to let my lover know that he wasn't hurting me, even if he was marking me. Now that I'm with a true top, it feels so wonderful to just let him dominate the situation naturally.

Anon VII: She does it all the time, and I don't mind one bit, since ours is always playful or erotic (and occasionally tension-relief), and my greatest pleasure is her pleasure. Much of our TFTB is wordless. Examples include implements left where I'll find them, overdoing the bending over to pick up something, stretching over my lap to get something off the end-table beside the sofa, and of course naughty-girl looks and foxy smiles, often to underscore or punctuate the positions I mentioned. What I wouldn’t like, and what she doesn't bombard me with, is an ongoing stream of instructions. I don’t mind requests, often encoded in the context of role play, especially when the requests are for more. Of course, the safe word is always an acceptable form of TFTB.

Luna: I have posted my reply on my blog.

Xandra: TFTB (communicating) is always desirable if you want better sex... And spankings :)

Basically, I believe that one should always inform their partner about what pleases them and turns them on. Many may see this as topping from the bottom, but we don't use the terms Top or bottom except mine gets spanked.

We do what I call ED (erotic discipline). The object is to bring the greatest number of orgasms / amount of pleasure to each other. There is no penalty or problem with TFTB with us. I let him know if it's too much or not enough. We mix the spanking with all parts of sex. There is always a warm up to let the endorphins build and turn the pain to pleasure. Spanking at more intense levels is mixed with caressing, oral, and penetration resulting in multiple orgasms for me and an intense finish together. When the endorphins reach a high enough level, a euphoric trance ensues so that I don't feel pain until an hour or so later. Without communication, TBTB, it would be hard to reach these levels.

I enjoy being spanked. Hugh enjoys spanking me. We don't do real discipline. We play. We often play hard, so I'm frequently red for a day or two or longer after a pink bottom day or daily play. I like to feel a bit tender when I sit. I love the rubber paddle because it gets me so aroused. This would be painful if applied too early or hard. I would hope that a (Top) would want to know how their partner was feeling. There shouldn't be punishment for saying what you want.

We see better sex as the desired end. If the point is just to cause pain, you could stick your finger in an electric socket. ;) I don't believe in denying orgasm either, but that's another topic.

Happy 2008. Wishing you as much spanking and sex as you want!

Bonnie: My husband Randy has an interesting solution for this dilemma. I can propose almost anything before a spanking begins. He then decides what he will do (and, by extension, what I will do).

However, if I make a suggestion during a spanking, he invariably asks, “Who’s holding the paddle?” Short of invoking my safeword (a very rare occurrence), I typically don’t get much input into the process.

After the spanking, we often talk about what happened and how I felt about it. This is the time when I can offer opinions and ideas. He does listen and many of my suggestions are incorporated into future spankings.

I like to send Randy sexy e-mails or publish spanking-related posts on the blog that I know he will like. He has no problem with me enticing him that way. Ultimately, he still decides what will happen.

A few times, I have had the poor judgment to grumble about a lack of spankings. You can imagine what Randy’s response is. If I complain after that, it will be about my acute inability to sit.

Our Bottoms Burn: I think that TFTB maybe an indispensable tool for those embarking on a spanking relationship. I think that an exchange of information after the action should be a high priority. In most cases, this discussion should be initiated by the top.

How hard is hard? When new to it all or trying a new toy, the top can hit and say that was a 7. The bottom can then say “mmmm” or “try a 9” or “try a 5”.

Thank you all for your great responses. I hope you’ll join us on Sunday for our next Spanko Brunch.

MBS Spanko Brunch #102

As we close 2007 and open a new chapter, this is a time for reflection. Accordingly, it seems only fitting that we address a classic spanko dilemma. What do you believe constitutes "topping from the bottom?" Have you or your partner ever done this? If so, how was the situation handled? Are there occasions where "topping from the bottom" is acceptable or even desirable? If you would like to join our brunch discussion, you can leave a comment below, send me an e-mail, or post a response on your blog. I hope you'll let us know what you think.

Poll: What Do You Like in a Spanking Blog?

Please rank the following elements in terms of what makes a spanking-oriented blog interesting to you ---123456789101112      Fictional spanking stories ---123456789101112      Real life spanking stories ---123456789101112      Explicit spanking photos ---123456789101112      Other spanking photos ---123456789101112      Spanking tutorials ---123456789101112      Spanking-related discussion ---123456789101112      Humor ---123456789101112      Spanking advice ---123456789101112      Information about other sites ---123456789101112      Guest perspectives ---123456789101112      Non-spanking experiences ---123456789101112      Non-spanking discussion Current Results

One should be assigned to the type of content you value most. Two should indicate your second favorite, and so forth.

Thank you for participating!

Cold War Spanking Fun

Back in the 1960s, before spankings became politically incorrect, there was a fun little TV show called "Gidget." It starred a young, spunky Sally Field in the title role. Gidget was a teenager learning about life and romance. As an elementary school kid, I thought this make-believe world of dancing, surfing teenagers was simply amazing. The fact that some of the girls (including Gidget herself) were sometimes spanked definitely added to the attraction.

In one memorable episode, Walter Koenig (yes, Ensign Chekov from Star Trek) demonstrated both his trademark Russian accent and his considerable spanking chops.


My favorite part of this clip is Gidget's comment about the spanking. How right she was!

A Holiday Wish from MBS

May the joy of this season warm your heart tonight and all year long.

Love is best when you speak it, show it, share it, and live it.

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Dec 23

Thank you all for your participation in today’s holiday brunch, and in our brunches throughout the year. Our topic of the week was coping with holiday stress.

Jessica: I was thinking a good brunch topic would be obsessing on spanking. I know you have a story about this. I am finding that I can get into looking at blogs and sites obsessively and I start to neglect other things. Any thoughts?

That’s a good topic and I’ve added it to our list. Thanks!

Sleepygirl: I can tell you what I would like to happen, but it's kind of one of those "want in one hand..." situations. I’d like a good babysitter for the kids, a bottle of Jameson's, and a night to ourselves for our anniversary here in a few days. That would do wonders for my stress level.

As it is, we'll just have to muddle through until it's over.

Perverted but Friendly: We went away on holiday for two weeks just before Christmas. It was an escape from the cold harsh British winter. 25 Celsius temperatures and the clear blue skies of Fuerteventura made us both feel a lot better. It was a vanilla holiday as we took no spanking toys at all.

Stress levels have dropped and we feel fine again.

Happy Christmas and a peaceful New Year to all of you.

Paul: My love lives on, but I have no one to spank. Shame. :(

I have a children's party on Christmas Eve. There will be no spanking. These are the family little ones, so we’ll have lots of love.

As for Christmas Day, it will be just me, my memories, and animals.

Family and friends will come to dinner on Boxing Day. There will be lots of talk and friendship and the love that is between family that are friends as well.

Have a wonderful Christmas, dear Bonnie, and may you be sitting as warm as you wish. *Smiles*

Lori: Now that the shopping is done, cleaning of the house for Christmas guests will begin. We've managed a few good spankings to keep the stress minimized and we will be breaking out the Bailey's tonight. We buy a bottle of Bailey's Irish Cream once a year. It's been our Christmas tradition to share it on Christmas Eve. This year, we are starting one day early.

Happy holiday season to all!

Sara: This year, we have not managed to do a good job of keeping our balance. The long version answer is on my blog. The short version is to focus on what really is important, but how the heck does one do that?

Anyway, I wish you a most wonderful and peaceful holiday!

Paige: I have the sexiest Santa Girl outfit from Victoria's Secret that I wear for my hubby! It's hot pink in color and consists of a very sexy bra, panties, a flirty mini-skirt trimmed with faux fur and a matching Santa hat! He absolutely loves it, which is why he makes my bottom hot pink to match!

Merry Christmas, Bonnie!

Mary: We have a moderate distance to contend with on a regular basis. That means if we get busy, we don't see each other. However, when we’re together, romance just can’t take a back seat. So my back seat is always spanked. It can be the best stress relief I know. I can hardly wait until my next Christmas spanking.

Jean Marie: You can't fall into the doldrums! I feel passionate about this. Yes, the holidays are stressful, but that's no excuse to get bogged down. It's an excuse to liven things up. You've got to spice the season up with more than nutmeg in your eggnog.

Last weekend, my lover and I went to a Dirty Santa party with our vanilla friends. That's where everybody brings a gift, you draw numbers, and open the gifts in that order. You can then steal the freshly opened gift when it's your turn (I'm not explaining this well, but hopefully you all know what I mean). As my boyfriend opened the car door for me to get in on our way there, I let him know that I wasn't wearing panties under my short skirt. His boyish leer told me that he found this hot at first, then his stern dom's face told me to behave myself. All night, he shot glances at me. All night, I shot him flashes of bare flesh.

I drew lucky number twenty out of that many guests. I stole a gift certificate for a spa treatment and massage from a girlfriend for the last turn.

"Oh! I really wanted that, you brat!" she exclaimed as I scampered back to my chair and she had to choose another gift.

"Spank me if I'm such a brat," I retorted and cocked my ass out at her before I sat it down. I could tell by the cool breeze on my bum that cheek was exposed, but everybody was so drunk that only she and my lover saw it. She blushed and smirked at me. My lover smoldered from across the room.

I got a sound spanking as soon as we pulled into our garage over the fender of the car, before the remote-controlled door could even close. I felt his belt over the arm of the living room couch. I got a lesson from my hairbrush in our bedroom. Then he made it all better with lovemaking on the floor.

I've put a switch in my own stocking and come downstairs Christmas morning with the drop seat flap open on my PJ bottoms. I've mooned my lover in front of the TV during the bowl games. I've bratted up a storm. I've come right out and told my man that I need a hard spanking.

You can't give in to the rush, crush, and madness! You have to put on the brakes and feed your soul during this special time of year. And my soul is best nurtured when my bottom is warmed.

Hermione: Christmas is synonymous with stress in our home. We recently had a real gripe session about all the stressful events that would be making up our yuletide celebrations this year. We whined, complained and felt sorry for ourselves for quite a while, and it made us both very unhappy, anxious and angry. Finally, I came out with a grumble about my parents. To my surprise, Ron said, "You're so lucky you have me to discipline you!"

Where did that come from? Did he really say that? The black mood instantly disappeared. I told Ron that was the best thing he could possibly have said, and we talked about the physical effect that spanking-related words have on me. We laughed and hugged and all of the holiday stress was forgotten.

MBS reader Paul has often said that the couple that spanks together stays together, and we'll get through the holidays because we have each other for support. And as Padme Amidala said recently on her blog, "Our force is strong." We are focusing on the quiet time we'll have after the busy-ness is over. We have some plans for our own 'festivities' that will allow us to reconnect in fun and different ways.

Merry Christmas to all my friends at MBS.

Mthc: We like the holidays. We have finished shopping and everything is wrapped. We have traditions like opening a gift on Christmas Eve, going to look at Christmas lights, and watching "It's a Wonderful Life." We've both been sick, but Saturday, we managed to have some playtime. I think that you just do the best that you can and eventually everything will fall into place.

David and I wish you a happy holiday season.

Bonnie: I find the holidays to be a very stressful time. I used to think that things might settle down once our daughter left home, but that hasn’t happened. The real problem is having more obligations than time and energy will allow. I never like to let people down or do less than my best on anything. But something has to give, and ultimately, something does.

Last weekend, Randy had to convince me that I could buy some items I generally make. His method of persuasion was forceful and compelling. The spanking broke through my stress and the lovemaking that followed served to restore the connection between us. I’m probably in need of another dose today, but this treatment lasted for quite a while.

Beyond fun and games, we try to find time where we can be together and sharing enjoyable activities. Even if it’s just a movie and dinner one night a week, it can make a big difference.

PK: I am probably less stressed than most because both Nick and I are laid back in general with all things. But I think there is one thing we do to relax with the loving and spanking part of our relationship. We have finally gotten to the point where we can curl up in bed at night and be very satisfied with touching and rubbing, yet not feel obligated to go any farther if we are not in the mood. We have learned that the touching and rubbing all by themselves are fun and brings us closer. Sometimes, it does lead to more (as I posted about today), but if it doesn't, that's fine.

Anon: The shopping is done, presents wrapped, house cleaned, and cookies baked. While shopping, we bought a large piece of ginger. Tonight will be just for us, a lovely snowball cocktail, playing with the ginger, some spanking, and then some rest!

Blushing Bride: Usually, we're okay at managing everything, focusing on what's important, etc. Lists are my favourite strategy. We set out lists of who needs to do what on which day. We both know what the priority is, no one feels like they're the only one doing everything, and nothing important gets forgotten. We even write in a code (since the lists are on the fridge and visible to anyone that stops by) for spankings and sex.

However, through a series of circumstances that is pretty much unbelievable to have occurred all over the last three weeks, things are more than getting to both of us. We're still trying to follow the lists and just throw out the things that would be nice but aren't all that necessary.

Elle: Well, I am one girl who is not getting ANY kinky fun until Christmas is well over. Since our relationship is relatively new, we are not spending the holidays together. Both of us have gone home to our parents for Christmas. I’m sitting in my teenage bedroom typing this feeling desperate for his hands all over my body. I last saw him on Friday and it was electric. I’ll be sneaking off on Christmas day to phone him up and tell him what I’d like to be doing to him... *sigh*

I’m very frustrated here. He has sworn me to not masturbate so we are both going to be gagging for it by the time we see each other. I bet we don’t make it though. You can imagine what’ll happen if either of us finds out the other didn’t keep the promise. It’ll involve whips.

Happy Christmas to you all.
I’m sorry if I’ve gone on a bit, but when I’m frustrated. I tend to rant. LOL

I wish you all the very best in this holiday season. Come what may, don't let stress get you down!

Keywords: spanking, holiday spanking, spanko, My Bottom Smarts, spanko brunch

MBS Spanko Brunch #101

I hope all MBS readers are enjoying a peaceful holiday season and staying nice and warm. It's a time when many people fall victim to stress and unrealistic expectations. It would be easy to suggest that one good spanking will wipe away all of that tension. But the solution is usually not quite so simple. The reality is that rushing around and worrying tends to sap our energy and leave us feeling anything but playful.

So how do we combat the winter blues? How can we regain our vigor, our enthusiasm, and our passion?

What are you and your partner doing this holiday season to keep your love light shining brightly? How do you reconnect during times of stress and fatigue? Or must romance wait until other responsibilities are discharged?

If you would like to add your voice to our brunch discussion, we would love to hear your ideas! You can leave a comment below, send me an e-mail, or post a message on your own blog.

Keyword Chaos: Alive!

I never fail to be amazed by the weird collection of search terms that bring readers to this blog. Here are some examples from the past week...

• bubble butt spanking - What was that "pop" sound?


• spanking bloopers - That could easily be a regular feature here at MBS


• girls bottom inspection - There are plenty of guys who would perform that job for free


• girls getting spanked at Wormwood High School - Did you really expect to find a list somewhere on the internet?


• spank lit - My favorite class


• spanked on the bottom - A darn good arrangement


• where can I go to receive an enema followed by a bare ass spanking? - Um, the lavatory?


• women getting there ass spank by there husbands during sex - There, there... Let's not get too excited


• big bottom embarrassing - I am beyond the point of being embarrassed about having a big bottom


• describe your panties - They are white cotton/lycra thongs


• horny spankings - Hey, you stay away from me with that antler!


• little red round bottom - Three out of four isn't bad, right?


• spank the loser - We prefer the term "submissive"


• 10 things not to say to your wife - I don't think I could stop at ten


• back of the drawer panties - Is it time again already?


• bottoms meant for spanking - Randy says I definitely have one


• can woman wear butt plug overnight? - I've never tried, but I suppose it's possible


• dared to wear cheerleader skirt - On a bet, Billy would try almost anything


• effects of spanking on a girl's bottom - Well, let's see... The skin often turns a bit red, but mostly it hurts!


• Erica Scott spanking lessons - She would make an excellent instructor


• erotic spanking first time why - If you are asking why you two didn't think of this years ago, don't worry about it. Focus instead on making today a day to remember


• erotic spankings on tv shows - I don't think I get that channel...


• field hockey strip of skirt school spanking - Come again?


• for some women getting spanked is a sexual turn-on - You bet!


• forced to wear pantty panty girdle - Forced? Were threats of violence involved? It might take something like that to convince me to wear the dreaded "pantty panty girdle"


• free pictures of patty cake wearing panties - OK, that's kinky


• girdle enema expel orgasm 2007 - Yuck


• girls hockey team caned bottoms - Let's review... These twenty girls are covered from head to toe with pads, they're wearing skates and helmets, and carry big sticks. Trying to cane them would be a bad idea


• gives spankings in Cincinnati - Have paddle, will travel


• grizzly pantie bear - Somehow, the bears look less ferocious today...


• hard hairbrush spanking - Our hairbrush is very hard


• having sex with another lady besides your wife - There's a signpost ahead: You're entering the alimony zone


• he spanked my butt so hardly that I couldn't sit - Did he spank hardly or hardly spank?


• how girls wear butt plugs and thongs - Between their cheeks, right?


• husband suck over his knee - That's simply not anatomically possible


• I had my girlfriend spank my husband with the belt - Wait, I'm getting confused...


• I lay across her knee my slaks were removed and I felt the sharp stinge of a cane - Is that even a word?


• I want to express my love to my husband by describing months from jan to dec - If you really want to make him happy, don't talk with your mouth full


• inventory of a woman's drawers - That's kind of personal, isn't it?


• is a bare bottom stapping an effective way of disciplining my husband? - Nah, stapping is useless


• lol nap you bastard, you sold both! - Yeah, and you killed Kenny too


• love pantylines - They're remarkably easy to create yourself at home


• my brother wears a panty girdle - And Mom wears army boots too


• nylon slip is shewing beneath her skirt - Look, it's Ed Sullivan, and he's alive!


• one dialogue invite your first to the disco - We're saving up for a new mirror ball.


• pictures of girls getting wedgies - OK, whatever


• Plug parity - 50/50 share and share alike?


• popular spanking positions - Never mind what's popular. Go with what works best for you and your partner


• sexy girls wearing thongs backwards - Why on Earth would anyone want to do that?


• spank rosebud - And so ends the tale of Citizen Cane


• spank the women's bottom game - Is this anything like Whack-a-Mole?


• spanked wearing no panty video - Apparently, panty-cam wasn't operating that day


• spankees uniform - Now there's a fun concept!


• spanking affection - I do love a good spanking


• spanking at walmart - Always a lowered panty...


• spanking in Second Life - I have it on good authority that virtual spankings don't hurt nearly as much as the real thing


• spanking the weather lady - Satisfying as it might be, I doubt that warming her seat would do much to raise the temperature outside


• spanking thermometer not tonight honey - If a thermometer is the best implement you can find, you'd better wait


• stopp opposed bottom beat game - This proves that you can get to MBS by simply entering random words


• tickle down panty - The tickle down theory says that increasing the rate of spanking for the top 10% of the spanko population will eventually result in more spankings for everyone


• want a sex bottom - Go slow and use plenty of lubricant


• whip spank belt Charleston - Are we talking about the city or the dance?


• who invented spanking? - That was the great Prussian inventor, Otto Von Prügelmeister. In 1743, he demonstrated the first practical leather paddle


• why do I get so aroused when my husband spanks me? - Perhaps you genuinely enjoy the experience

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Dec 16

For our 100th brunch, we talked about brunch. Specifically, you shared what you liked and what you’d like to see in the future. There are loads of great ideas here, many of which you will see reflected in future brunches.

I deviated from the usual formula this week in that I decided to comment on individual contributions. Normally, I avoid this degree of involvement because I want readers' views to be expressed freely and without being judged. However, with this topic, it made sense to provide more direct feedback.

Jessica: I am new to this, so I don't know if you have already covered the topic I am going to suggest. How about a topic for those who have yet to tell their partner about their spanking needs?

It took me 20 years and from what I've seen on other blogs, I am not the only one.

Welcome, Jessica! We had an excellent brunch on the topic of introducing the topic of spanking in one’s relationship. You can find it here.

Todd and Suzy: We do enjoy your brunches. It's tough to pick a favorite, but the one that jumped to mind first was the one about the word "spanko." As for future topics, wow... those are hard to come by. Those who don't try to come up with something *new* and interesting have no idea!

Paul: Congratulations on the 100th brunch. That’s quite an achievement, even though you will say that you couldn't have done it without us. Yours was the hand at the helm that kept us on course. It's impossible to pick a favourite out of so many that were excellent.

Have you done this before, short of going through and reading them all? This for spankee's/bottoms: "How do you ask for what you need without topping from the bottom?"

This for Tops/Doms/HoH: "If you have made a bad mistake, how do you straighten it with your SO?"

Paul, I couldn't have done it without you! ...And thank you for those fine suggestions!

Lori: It looks like Paul and I are thinking the same. My suggestion was a brunch on topping from the bottom. Since I am pretty new to your brunches as well, so you may have covered it at one time. I looked in your selection of brunches and did not see it listed. I'd love to see what others have to say about the subject (especially since my husband just told me after my spanking yesterday that I was "topping" a bit too much for his liking. ooops!) I love these brunches.

You’re right, Lori. We have never had a brunch on topping from the bottom, but I promise you that we will. Thanks!

Janeen: Happy Anniversary Sunday Brunch! LOL I have missed so many of your brunches that I can't choose a favorite. All of the ones I have participated in have been a lot of fun though.

I love your blog, and thank you for all the time you dedicate to keeping it going.

Janeen, you will always be welcome here! ((Hugs))

Tina: I really like all your brunches. I don’t remember all the one hundred topics you suggested. However, I would be quite interested in a brunch about the topic of bruising - as we worry a lot about it and wonder, whether it may do any harm in the long run.

Hi Tina! We’ve not had a brunch on the topic of bruises, but I’ve added it to the list. We did talk about marks one week back in the beginning.

Mary: I can't believe we have been meeting for 100 weeks. The first brunch was memorable because, being far to uncentered to have my own blog, I felt this was a place to post my thoughts. What struck me was how kind and respectful everyone is. We have those who spank for play, those that seriously spank, some for whom it is all about sex, others where it is about discipline, those who want to be spanked, those who used to spank, some of us like it hard, and some who don't. For all the diversity, this s a wonderful forum which is about sharing experiences, not about judging them. That is a wonderful achievement, Bonnie.

I love it when the topic makes me think and people share feelings and experiences related to some spanking theme. I always laugh when Bonnie has us planning some event, museum, or other such wildly impractical play area. The ideas are fun and everyone seems to play along, putting in one exciting idea after another. It is also very informative when advice is sought and we all put in our own two cents worth of wisdom. Actually, it may be two cents a piece, but a person that wants advice has a resulting priceless collection since the brunch attendees are so open, honest, and diverse.

As for new topics, I participate in couple of Yahoo groups and I recently have been dismayed at the focus being upon how to get her to submit using force and punishment. I felt that one of the groups was off topic by not focusing on the responsibilities of the spanker.

We don't have a dearth of women willing to submit (men either). Of course, I know part of it is about our own love of spanking. However, I also believe that part of it lies in the ability of the spanker to inspire submission, in making it feel safe to submit, in being dominant in so many loving ways that spanking is merely an extension of a natural state. So a topic I would like to explore some day is “What makes a spanker (Dominant) good at it?” Or “What is the responsibility of the dominant person in a spanking relationship?”

BTW - we have a brunch on marks (spanking marks) and we have a brunch on outing to our partner (asking for a spanking, converting a vanilla, vanilla partners, introducing spanking, who started it?). Please go and find them. They are great topics with lots of open sharing of good and bad attempts. If those are topics of interest, please take a moment and read old brunches and try and formulate a question that is more specific to your need. That way, we can explore the topic from a different angle for you. It looks like topping is a topic that is less explored and would be a good one to try. Regarding marks, I had some doozies a couple of weeks ago!

Thanks, Mary! Those are excellent topics.

Prefectdt: I cannot pick a favourite because I have not read them all. I like to take part in your brunches when time allows and would like to say a big thank you and well done, for keeping it up for 100 posts and still finding interesting topics to post about and comment on.

As I said, I have not read all the brunches, so if this has already been discussed, please excuse me. My suggestion is talking about the difficulty of finding places to play, for those of us who for one reason or another cannot play at home.

You’re very welcome, Prefectdt! We have not yet considered alternative places to play, but I just added it to our list.

Carye: I can say I've read them all several times, Bonnie! I do love your brunches. My favorites are those that involve real life issues, memories, and advice about spanking. I find those that delve somewhat into the psychology of spanking and the motivations, feelings, etc. to be absolutely fascinating. My husband sometimes reads those too. I think re-running any of those from submission, to favorite implements and why, traditions, types of spankings are going to be great!

Carye, I agree that those were some of our best. If I can find a new twist on these topics, they would definitely be worth revisiting. Thanks!

Radha: Congrats on the 100! When I read the brunches, I often get a relieving feeling of knowing there are others who are interested in spanking. And it seems that spanking may be more mainstream than one blushed with a heated bottom would expect. I was thinking a brunch question may involve how it feels to talk to a friend or a confidante about spanking and the wonderful feelings that are associated with it, or the not so comfortable feelings.

Thank you, Radha. We did hold a brunch back near the very beginning where we examined the question of explaining to a friend. However, it’s a good topic and we’ve had a lot of turnover in the participants since then.

Bethie: Congrats on the anniversary! The brunches have been great fun, thought-provoking, and informative. You've been a lovely hostess, Bonnie, thank you.

I can't really think of a topic suggestion right now but if something comes to mind I might chime in later.

Btw, does this mean you'll be getting 100 spanks to celebrate? ;-)

Yes, Randy thought of that immediately. But fortunately, we had a lot of fun with it.

Xandra: I'm with Lori and Paul about a topping from the bottom brunch. It's a sore spot with me. ;) I don't see what's wrong with it since it means letting your partner know what you want and that's a good thing. We don't do punishment and I know that some feel that they want to do what the other hates in that case but it seems cruel.

Glad I checked back after so long. It's nice that all opinions are respected here. Congrats on 100!

Xandra, I promise we’ll be talking about topping form the bottom in a future brunch.

Elle: I think you should go over some of the older topics again because newer posters might have something interesting to add. It could be re-phrasing or a new question on the same theme.

I'm definitely going to read over those the others have listed as favourites though... Especially all this talk of bruising... Hmmmm. if you could see the bruises I have today, yum yum.

Elle, I will make an effort in the coming weeks to warm over some old favorites. In a number of cases, I can pose the question in a different way such that even long time brunchers won’t mind joining in again.

Sally: There have been so many wonderful, interesting and helpful brunches it would be too hard to pick one. I have learned so much from your readers and yourself. Each topic provides advice and insight into this thing we do and helps us all on our own journeys.

As for future topics, the ones you choose seem just fine. But since you asked, I would love to hear your readers opinions on “If we like it so much, how can it ever be punishment?” or one giving further explanation of the stress relief and how it is achieved (although your tutorial is excellent) and how about one on how your readers put more fun into the event.

Thanks, Sally. I like the first question. It should generate a lot of different opinions. We previously held brunches on the topics of stress relief spankings and fun and games. However, I believe there may be room for another question about making it fun.

Terpsichore: Congratulations on achieving 100 brunches! I started reading in September and have not yet had the chance to read all the posts from the past. However, I do enjoy reading the brunches every week and look forward to participating in future ones, reading past ones, and staying connected. If I think of any recommendations, I will certainly share. Thanks!

Thanks, Terpsichore. I appreciate your support!

Xandra: I didn't see a Brunch on bruising so with apologies if I'm overstepping :)

A warm-up will eliminate or greatly decrease bruising. Arnica will help bruises fade quicker. Take vitamin C. A deficiency promotes bruising. Apply a good moisturizer daily as well as before and after spankings. Vitamin C cream helps too.

That's all that comes to mind. Sorry if this was the wrong place to post this.

No problem at all. Thank you for sharing your knowledge.

Jean Marie: Woo-hoo, 100! What a tremendous milestone! It's all because you rock, Bonnie. And it's such as stone cold gas to chat with other like-minded individuals. Chisel it in granite tablets, erect a marble monument. I find your blog very communal, comforting, and cathartic.

Favorites to revisit: I think that the pinnacle moment when a spanko risks it all and "comes out" to a significant other/lover carries so much weighty emotion. I've liked it most when I've been able to reflect on such a situation with one of the series of men/tops in my life and talk about it in a posting on your blog.

New areas to explore: I may be all alone here, but I find that my sensuality doesn't stop at the nerve-endings of my bottom's cheeks. My anus and rectum are erogenous zones that I like to have touched, tickled, punished, prodded, massaged, and man-handled. Do other couples often enjoy anal sex and play after or during spanking? If we have company, I'd love to share experiences over a brunch. If there is interest, there is a plethora of related topics, from anal sex as erotic side-dish to anal sex as chastisement, from butt-plugs to figging to enemas...

Thanks, Jean Marie. We haven’t explored the issue of anal sex specifically. However, we did have a brunch where we considered the bottom in contexts beyond spanking.

Hermione: Congratulations on your centennial brunch! It's always such an honour and a privilege to come to brunch and share my experiences with you and all my friends at MBS.

When I first discovered your blog and read a few brunches picked at random, I thought a brunch was an online chat that happened on Sunday mornings. It even sounded like everyone met in person and knew one another. And who was this Bonnie that they all talked about?

I now know a lot more about brunches, blogs, and spanking. I have read all the brunches in your archive and have frequently felt the impulse to add my two cents to the discussion. So I would be delighted to see any of the earlier topics revisited. I'm sure many of your faithful readers did not have a chance to join you at earlier brunches and would also find the topics interesting.

I’m delighted to have you along for the ride. As for bringing back some of the classic topics, I believe I can capture the spirit without repeating the questions. I have a number of good ideas that I plan to explore in the coming weeks!

…And thanks to everyone who has joined us for this nearly two year run. I appreciate your participation and all these splendid ideas.

MBS Spanko Brunch #100

Here we stand at the century mark. This is our one hundredth Sunday brunch. It seems like a fine time to both look back and look ahead. So, I guess that's our theme...

Have you a favorite past brunch topic? If so, what made it memorable? Are there any we should consider repeating or rephrasing?

Gazing forward, is there a new spanking topic you would like to bring to floor? Have you any other suggestions about how we might make brunch more enjoyable (besides more comfortable chairs...)?

I'd like to sincerely thank all of the fantastic participants who have made our spanko brunch the event it has become. When you're ready to add your two cents, you can post a comment below, send me an e-mail, or post a message on your own blog. I look forward to reading your thoughts and ideas.

Happy Birthday PK!

May your big day be spent in warmth and love.

I hope everyone will stop by and wish PK a joyous birthday celebration.

Poem: A Spanko Holiday

A Spanko Holiday

'Tis a joyous time of year
Spread a little spanking cheer
Raise your glass and rub my rear
Spanko season's finally here

Finding kinky gifts to buy
Spanking lovers, don't be shy
Take the day off, my oh my
O'er the armchair I shall lie

Paddles swing and crops will snap
Belts leave red stripes with a whap
I wish you would whack and tap
Won't you place me on your lap?

Now it's time for play and glee
And as you can plainly see
Spankings are a joy for me
Listen now and hear my plea

Take the hairbrush, strike with it
Make it hard for me to sit
I don't mind if you don't quit
'Cause I savor every bit

Warm my bottom, do it right
Wood will sting and leather bite
Love me sweetly all the night
Snuggle in the morning light

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Dec 9

Our brunch topic this week dealt with the sounds we spankees make when our bottoms are set ablaze. Based upon the fabulous response, this is clearly a subject of great interest to MBS readers. Here are your thoughts.

Natty: A. tells me I tend to say "ouch" a lot. I often feel like I'm grunting, squealing, and whimpering, but apparently he doesn't hear much of that. I do have a bad habit of groaning when told how many strokes I'm going to get, which then gets me more strokes. But I suppose that's before the spanking rather than during. ::grin::

When I first started getting spanked, I was probably a bit too stoic and didn't make much noise at all, as if making noise would be impolite. I know that has unnerved at least one top. I suppose in some ways, making noise during a spanking is something I'm still working on.

Bethie: I'm a noisy spankee! I yelp, whimper, squeal, complain, beg, moan, giggle, and all manner of vocal expression.

It doesn't matter how much fun I'm having (erotic spankings) or not having (disciplinary ones), I have to let it all out. Spankings hurt, even when it's that good hurt, and I let him know just how much or how good.

I wasn't always this vocal. Before Dan, I used to grit my teeth and take it with hardly a whimper. Dan likes hearing me though, so I've learned to let go. I like it better this way because I can really get into the whole experience when I can vocalize how I feel.

Spankings around here can be pretty noisy! I'm often surprised by how much, but I like it.

Sleepy Girl: I got my first real spanking the other day (Someday I'll have to tell you, Bonnie, what a blessing and a help it was to find your blog!). I didn't know what to expect out of myself, especially since we have to be kind of quiet around here. I emitted gasps, whimpers, low guttural groans... a whole litany of little sounds, well muffled into the pillow, of course.

Ach! I can't wait to see what I might sound like if Beloved and I ever get some time alone!

Hi, Sleepy Girl, and welcome to you!

Paul: There were a whole gamut of noises during an erotic spanking including giggles, groans, moans, and sighs. On the few occasions when Mel would orgasm, she would generate screams, laughter and tears.

Punishments were quieter. She would say “ouch,” suck in of breath, and usually end in tears. But as I've said before, after the early years, punishments were rare. During scenes, Mel would act well, counting if requested and saying “oh sir.” If she was playing a school girl, she would sob, scream quietly, and love every minute.

The sounds certainly added to the fun.

Lori: This certainly depends on the type of spanking, but whether erotic or punishment, there are the usual “AHHH”, “oww,” and “ugh.” For some reason, I don't cry. But most of the sounds I make are crying sounds that would make you think I had tears running down my face. This is usually accompanied by or alternated with heavy breathing. There have been times of screaming and pleading, only to be told to get back in place or there will be extra.

Luna: The amount of noise I make depends on the reason for the spanking. I'm more stoic during a punishment spanking than an erotic one. I am normally a noisy person when in a scene or during sex. I'm either entertaining to the neighbors or really, really annoying. Yet I still can look them in the eye when I see them outside.

For an erotic spanking, I generally do a lot of moaning and groaning, sighs, and hissing. I know that my sounds really turn Master on so I probably have learned to make even more noise than I usually would on my own. When the pain of the spanking starts stirring my endorphins, I generally change my sounds to quieter moans and groans. I have periods where I don't make any sounds at all. When the pain/pleasure combo gets ramped up, I get really loud again, sometimes cussing and screaming, wiggling and jiggling my ass as the strikes are laid down. When things are going really well, I start giggling and can laugh and laugh-snort pretty regularly. (I hate it when I snort... I laugh even more when I do.)

For a punishment spanking, which is always a caning, I'm completely silent and try to be reposed. I take the caning with silence no matter how bad it hurts. I hate the cane. It's not meant to be pleasant, so I don't want to confuse the punishment with moans or hisses. I do swallow pretty hard between each one.

The implements used will bring out different sounds too. Hard wood paddles generally get the grunts and groans and deeper sounding noises. Hand spanking gets the most varied noises. Any reaction can happen from sighs to yelps, but the most common is always the moan/groan.

I used to be mortified when I'd start giggling during play. I couldn't stop myself from doing it, but I thought that Master would think I'm mocking his methods or something. It turns out that's a natural reaction to the endorphins for some people. So, I'm a giggler. In fact, the giggles also turn to outright silliness when I come down from that high.

sally4lvp: It usually starts out pretty quiet and moves to the “ouch,” “ow” thing, then a little begging with “it hurts so much” and “please stop.” As he heats up for the finish, the screams into the bedding will start along with some kicking. This stage can last a while depending on how many I am in need of. I tend to not want to get too vocal because I don't want to scare him into stopping to early. We are still getting adjusted to what I can really take or need. I tend to not cry, but at times, if it is intense enough, I have gotten tears in my eyes. But the learning process can be fun!

Jeana: Most of the time for me I either moan or say “ouch.” Like Sally, I'm scared to be too dramatic about it because I don't want him to stop and I know he worries. Sometimes, I want to scream though and I'm sure I will eventually. I haven't cried yet, but I think I could if it was a little bit more intense. I did have tears in my eyes on Friday night. That was the first time he spanked me to the point where I actually wanted it to stop. It was great. I’m sore too, which has never really happened before. Anyways, back to answering the question, I hope I will get to a point in the future where I can make more sounds and not worry about him stopping. Until then, I guess I'll just be kind of quiet.

Paige: Though the spankings my hubby gives me are all erotic in nature, they still sting! Usually I say things like "Owwww!" or "Oh!" most of the time, but I also moan a lot too!

Greenwoman: I have not had a spanking for punishment since I was a child. All the spankings I've had have been for emotional balance and for sexual enjoyment. So, there's little talking. Now and then, I am asked how I am doing and I respond, perhaps. Otherwise, it’s the sounds of my breathing and the sound of a moan when I become aroused by the spanking. Perhaps with a playful spanking, there will be giggling and laughing squeals. After the spanking, there may be crying as an emotional release.

Mary: I grunt, yell, giggle, scream, pant, grown, cry “ouch” and “stop,” and all to no avail. If the spanking is for play, I may mouth off and be a brat. But if it’s for punishment, such behavior usually gets me more than I bargained for so, I try to refrain.

Jean Marie: I guess I'm a traditionalist when it comes to the most traditional of chastisements. If it's an erotic spanking, I can't help but sigh, moan, mew, whimper, squeal, and giggle. But if it's punishment, my top doesn't brook any resistance or silliness. I'm expected to stoically take my medicine. Usually my lover will get out the implement of choice and lecture me while he smacks it into his left palm, and then as he gives me the warm-up hand spanking. Even though they may not initially hurt as much as some vigorous playful sessions, punishments almost always bring me to tears quickly. There's just something about getting my butt cheeks thrashed that makes me contrite. The only sound, therefore, is my sniffling.

I've had a recurring fantasy about being punished by a lipstick lesbian who, like some of the tennis stars of today, would grunt as she served up ace after ace across my ass. I find this scenario very arousing for some strange reason. My real-life partner just talks, sometimes admonishing, sometimes praising of how I'm taking my lesson or how prettily my bottom is blushing.

Related to our vocalizations is the topic of sexy sounds. I find the sound of the cane whistling through the air extremely erotic, except when it's my butt awaiting the impact. Watching videos of canings always gets me wet. I once saw a tape of a girl getting it with a big wooden paddle that had holes drilled in it. It shrieked as it cut through the air. The unlucky recipient shrieked, too. Just the sound effects brought me to orgasm as I watched.

I think that sounds are a big part of the turn-on.

Abby: I really enjoy the auditory aspects of spanking, so all types of sound are key for me – from my husband's voice talking to me to the sound of his hand or implement against my skin to the sound I make in response. I know I squeal and cry out "Ah!" a lot. But I am most conscious of saying "ow ow ow ow ow" because I'll realize I'm still saying "ow" after it stops stinging, but I've gotten into saying it.

Our house is very close to the house next door, but we've given up on worrying about it. They still say hi to us on the street even though we've had bouts of me downright screaming with each stroke. So I've become comfortable with my vocalizations, whatever they may be. I think my husband would worry more if I were quiet without him telling me to be. For me, quiet means that I'm not in the right mental place or am upset about something.

I did try an experiment the other day in which I tried to moan rather than make a pained noise during a strapping. It changed the experience completely! It only goes to prove that mind-body connection that we all know exists during a spanking. I'm sure this tactic wouldn't work for all spankings (some just aren't going to feel good no matter what sound you make), but it brought a whole new level of awareness of how I react to them.

Emmy: Compared with other spankees that my Dom spanks on a regular basis, I know I am a very active/noisy spankee. Most of my closer spankee friends are very stoic, but I am the exact opposite.

Depending on the mood of the spanking and my personal mood I can be quite vocal. If my Dom and I are doing a playful spanking, I find myself kicking my feet, saying “ow,” “ouch,” or my favorite line, “what do you think YOU'RE doing back there?”

If we're in a serious scene, I try to be as well behaved as possible, though I still kick my feet up and try to protect my bum, accompanied with phrases like "go easy" or "I really don't want it."

My Dom usually responded by telling me "Feet down" and "Relax."

So I would not consider myself extremely vocal, but I am not stoic by any means. It really does depend upon the atmosphere of the spanking scene and my mood throughout the day.

PK: I am right there with Sally and Jeana. I would love to be more vocal. However, that is totally against my nature, when anything hurts me in any way, I become very quiet. I love the idea of being able to let go and cry, yell, beg him to stop – and have him ignore me! I have no doubt that if I yelled “Oh, stop, owww! That hurts!” he would stop. And who wants that?

I have hope. You never know what the future might bring!

Sara: I posted my response on my blog.

Cassie: When he first started, I used to cuss a blue streak! That didn't last long when he would burn a blister and then inform me that the spanking wouldn't start until I stopped cursing! I am usually pretty vocal though. I tell him to stop, it hurts, he's killing me, in between the laughing and owwwwwing!

But if I don't think I should be getting a spanking, I won't give in and I try not to make a sound. I have also learned to keep my mouth shut if he is really annoyed. He lectures and anything I might say just gets him talking and spanking longer!!

Prefectdt: I love to be spanked hard enough to be make to go “arghh” loudly and I would never do that falsely. Unfortunately, practicalities get in the way. Often, play is in a private home, with neighbours, a street outside, and all the other things. In these circumstances, it is still possible to play a bit hard and I usually control my urge to shout out by using deep breathing, so there is usually a lot of huffing and puffing when play is getting good.

Anon VII: Ours tend to run the gamut, but the ones she does most often, and the kind that add to my excitement most, are giggles during playful or lightly erotic spankings and, during more intensely erotic and stress-relief ones, explosive exhalations of breath (sometimes with exclamations like "OH!" or "GOSH!"). When she's torturing me by bending over with hands on knees for the paddle, she often does the rapid heel-drumming on the floor, usually between the first two swats, as I make her wait several seconds after the first one to let the initial shock wear off and the burn to hit. Heel-drumming is often accompanied by a long "OOOH!" or a string of short, reiterated ones. Since we don't do punishment, I don't know what she would do under those circumstances. However, I suspect she'd hiss and snarl like an angry cat, especially since her appearance and manner are both somewhat feral.

Hermione: As a child I learned that it was best to bear pain, any pain, in silence. Any violation of this rule usually resulted in more pain. So I usually approach a spanking with the intention of being brave and stoic. That's how it starts out, anyway.

At the beginning I will just breathe in audibly with each swat to let my husband know that I can feel it. I mean, it seems kind of rude to just lie there. When the strokes become more intense I often moan with the pleasure of the sensations produced when certain implements are used.

When there is a pause in the action, for reflection and rubbing, I'm always startled by how loud and harsh my breathing sounds in the silence. When my breathing returns to normal, the spanking resumes.

When the swats really start to burn or sting, I do yelp, squeal, or cry "Ow!" quite involuntarily. That's happening more frequently now as spankings are increasing in both intensity and duration. We are exploring new implements, especially a certain evil white plastic paddle which produces a serious sting. At this point, I no longer try to control myself vocally. It hurts and it's okay to react in whatever way I need to.

It's up to Ron to decide whether it's time to end a spanking, and my only concern is that if I get too carried away he may stop before I am actually ready for it to be over. But that's something that we will resolve over time. I usually reassure him afterward that it was great, even though (or because) it really hurt.

Elle: Well now, I'm a bit new to all this, and probably a decade or two younger than the other posters.

My first spankings as an adult were with my best friend. He knows me very well, my naughty little girl streak as well as my dominant personality. It started with teasing and raising his hand to me. Then it progressed. These spankings were always public, as in at a party or with a few friends and I'd be "misbehaving" so he'd scoop me over his lap and give me a few slaps. As he's gay and I'm female this was entirely a game. I would squeal, giggle and play-act that I was hurt.

My current boyfriend witnessed this once and he jokingly said he could do better. Later that night I took him up on the offer. Well, I scream and moan and groan. It's like an orgasm (sometimes it IS an orgasm...)

Well that was a bit long, but because I'm new I thought I should explain a bit. Thanks for having me, I've been reading for a little while.

Welcome, Elle! I’m glad you joined our brunch.

Sub Nouveau: I think I would under normal circumstances be very loud, but my living arrangements involve a neighbor who's bedroom is adjacent to mine, and very thin walls. Instead I tend to curse into my arm, blanket, under my breath. I also long to cry, but I can never seem to get it to come out until after the events are over.

Terpsichore: I asked my husband this question and his response was that I am mostly quiet, but that he thinks I "could" probably make a lot of noise. :-) That being said, other than a few playful spanks during lovemaking, I am still awaiting my first real spanking. As a result, whether I am really noisy or not is yet to be determined. Plus, there is the matter of the two little sleeping children nearby whenever we have that rare moment of intimacy, so noise may not be an option for a while. :-)

Bonnie: My reactions can be all over the map depending upon the situation. If I’m into the spanking and enjoying the proceedings, I might coo, giggle, moan, or describe for Randy how I feel. If the intensity of a spanking is a bit more than I feel I want at that moment, I may exclaim ten variants of “Ow!”

If the spanking is intended to be therapeutic, I’m usually pretty quiet. At those times, I’m deep within my own head and concentrating on accepting the pain and making it my own. When it’s foreplay, I tend to pant and moan as the desire washes over me.

One change that I’ve noticed is that Randy and I now talk far more during spankings (and during sex for that matter) than we did in earlier years. He finds it a turn-on when I tell him how it feels for me. At the same time, his words of encouragement help me to graciously accept all the gifts he chooses to bestow.

Thanks to everyone who contributed to this great discussion. I hope you will stop by and bring your spanko friends next Sunday when we will be enjoying our 100th spanko brunch.

MBS Spanko Brunch #99

Spankings hurt! As I am regularly reminded, they're supposed to hurt. Yet, each of us who receives spankings reacts to the experience in our own unique way. Today's spanko brunch deals with those reactions and specifically, the resulting vocalizations.

When receiving a spanking, what sounds do you or your partner make? Does the spankee scream, cry, shout, beg, whimper, laugh, moan, or maybe something else? To what extent does the reaction depend upon the circumstances (such as the reason for the spanking, the severity, the implements employed, words used by the spanker, and so forth)? Are you ever surprised by the words or noises a spanking induces?

I invite you to join our brunch discussion and I hope you will. To add your voice, you can leave a comment below, send me an e-mail, or post a message on your own blog.

Song Parody: Sting Me Well

I love to sing and traditional Christmas carols hold a special place in my heart. For the past two years, I have posted seasonal song parodies (to the point where some readers actually begged me to stop).

As a salute to the holiday season, here's a variation of Jingle Bells that you may not have heard.

Sting Me Well

Lashing to and fro
On a sawhorse made for play
Oh my cheeks they glow
Jiggling all the way
Whacks on my tail sting
Making colors bright
What fun it is to spank and sing
A flaying song tonight

Oh, swat me well, swat me well
Swat me all the day
Oh, what fun it is to ride
On a sawhorse made for play
Swat me well, swat me well
Swat me all the day
Oh, what fun it is to ride
On a sawhorse made for play
I realize that I posted a slightly different Jingle Bells parody in 2005, but I like this one better.