Monday, December 17, 2007

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Dec 16

For our 100th brunch, we talked about brunch. Specifically, you shared what you liked and what you’d like to see in the future. There are loads of great ideas here, many of which you will see reflected in future brunches.

I deviated from the usual formula this week in that I decided to comment on individual contributions. Normally, I avoid this degree of involvement because I want readers' views to be expressed freely and without being judged. However, with this topic, it made sense to provide more direct feedback.

Jessica: I am new to this, so I don't know if you have already covered the topic I am going to suggest. How about a topic for those who have yet to tell their partner about their spanking needs?

It took me 20 years and from what I've seen on other blogs, I am not the only one.

Welcome, Jessica! We had an excellent brunch on the topic of introducing the topic of spanking in one’s relationship. You can find it here.

Todd and Suzy: We do enjoy your brunches. It's tough to pick a favorite, but the one that jumped to mind first was the one about the word "spanko." As for future topics, wow... those are hard to come by. Those who don't try to come up with something *new* and interesting have no idea!

Paul: Congratulations on the 100th brunch. That’s quite an achievement, even though you will say that you couldn't have done it without us. Yours was the hand at the helm that kept us on course. It's impossible to pick a favourite out of so many that were excellent.

Have you done this before, short of going through and reading them all? This for spankee's/bottoms: "How do you ask for what you need without topping from the bottom?"

This for Tops/Doms/HoH: "If you have made a bad mistake, how do you straighten it with your SO?"

Paul, I couldn't have done it without you! ...And thank you for those fine suggestions!

Lori: It looks like Paul and I are thinking the same. My suggestion was a brunch on topping from the bottom. Since I am pretty new to your brunches as well, so you may have covered it at one time. I looked in your selection of brunches and did not see it listed. I'd love to see what others have to say about the subject (especially since my husband just told me after my spanking yesterday that I was "topping" a bit too much for his liking. ooops!) I love these brunches.

You’re right, Lori. We have never had a brunch on topping from the bottom, but I promise you that we will. Thanks!

Janeen: Happy Anniversary Sunday Brunch! LOL I have missed so many of your brunches that I can't choose a favorite. All of the ones I have participated in have been a lot of fun though.

I love your blog, and thank you for all the time you dedicate to keeping it going.

Janeen, you will always be welcome here! ((Hugs))

Tina: I really like all your brunches. I don’t remember all the one hundred topics you suggested. However, I would be quite interested in a brunch about the topic of bruising - as we worry a lot about it and wonder, whether it may do any harm in the long run.

Hi Tina! We’ve not had a brunch on the topic of bruises, but I’ve added it to the list. We did talk about marks one week back in the beginning.

Mary: I can't believe we have been meeting for 100 weeks. The first brunch was memorable because, being far to uncentered to have my own blog, I felt this was a place to post my thoughts. What struck me was how kind and respectful everyone is. We have those who spank for play, those that seriously spank, some for whom it is all about sex, others where it is about discipline, those who want to be spanked, those who used to spank, some of us like it hard, and some who don't. For all the diversity, this s a wonderful forum which is about sharing experiences, not about judging them. That is a wonderful achievement, Bonnie.

I love it when the topic makes me think and people share feelings and experiences related to some spanking theme. I always laugh when Bonnie has us planning some event, museum, or other such wildly impractical play area. The ideas are fun and everyone seems to play along, putting in one exciting idea after another. It is also very informative when advice is sought and we all put in our own two cents worth of wisdom. Actually, it may be two cents a piece, but a person that wants advice has a resulting priceless collection since the brunch attendees are so open, honest, and diverse.

As for new topics, I participate in couple of Yahoo groups and I recently have been dismayed at the focus being upon how to get her to submit using force and punishment. I felt that one of the groups was off topic by not focusing on the responsibilities of the spanker.

We don't have a dearth of women willing to submit (men either). Of course, I know part of it is about our own love of spanking. However, I also believe that part of it lies in the ability of the spanker to inspire submission, in making it feel safe to submit, in being dominant in so many loving ways that spanking is merely an extension of a natural state. So a topic I would like to explore some day is “What makes a spanker (Dominant) good at it?” Or “What is the responsibility of the dominant person in a spanking relationship?”

BTW - we have a brunch on marks (spanking marks) and we have a brunch on outing to our partner (asking for a spanking, converting a vanilla, vanilla partners, introducing spanking, who started it?). Please go and find them. They are great topics with lots of open sharing of good and bad attempts. If those are topics of interest, please take a moment and read old brunches and try and formulate a question that is more specific to your need. That way, we can explore the topic from a different angle for you. It looks like topping is a topic that is less explored and would be a good one to try. Regarding marks, I had some doozies a couple of weeks ago!

Thanks, Mary! Those are excellent topics.

Prefectdt: I cannot pick a favourite because I have not read them all. I like to take part in your brunches when time allows and would like to say a big thank you and well done, for keeping it up for 100 posts and still finding interesting topics to post about and comment on.

As I said, I have not read all the brunches, so if this has already been discussed, please excuse me. My suggestion is talking about the difficulty of finding places to play, for those of us who for one reason or another cannot play at home.

You’re very welcome, Prefectdt! We have not yet considered alternative places to play, but I just added it to our list.

Carye: I can say I've read them all several times, Bonnie! I do love your brunches. My favorites are those that involve real life issues, memories, and advice about spanking. I find those that delve somewhat into the psychology of spanking and the motivations, feelings, etc. to be absolutely fascinating. My husband sometimes reads those too. I think re-running any of those from submission, to favorite implements and why, traditions, types of spankings are going to be great!

Carye, I agree that those were some of our best. If I can find a new twist on these topics, they would definitely be worth revisiting. Thanks!

Radha: Congrats on the 100! When I read the brunches, I often get a relieving feeling of knowing there are others who are interested in spanking. And it seems that spanking may be more mainstream than one blushed with a heated bottom would expect. I was thinking a brunch question may involve how it feels to talk to a friend or a confidante about spanking and the wonderful feelings that are associated with it, or the not so comfortable feelings.

Thank you, Radha. We did hold a brunch back near the very beginning where we examined the question of explaining to a friend. However, it’s a good topic and we’ve had a lot of turnover in the participants since then.

Bethie: Congrats on the anniversary! The brunches have been great fun, thought-provoking, and informative. You've been a lovely hostess, Bonnie, thank you.

I can't really think of a topic suggestion right now but if something comes to mind I might chime in later.

Btw, does this mean you'll be getting 100 spanks to celebrate? ;-)

Yes, Randy thought of that immediately. But fortunately, we had a lot of fun with it.

Xandra: I'm with Lori and Paul about a topping from the bottom brunch. It's a sore spot with me. ;) I don't see what's wrong with it since it means letting your partner know what you want and that's a good thing. We don't do punishment and I know that some feel that they want to do what the other hates in that case but it seems cruel.

Glad I checked back after so long. It's nice that all opinions are respected here. Congrats on 100!

Xandra, I promise we’ll be talking about topping form the bottom in a future brunch.

Elle: I think you should go over some of the older topics again because newer posters might have something interesting to add. It could be re-phrasing or a new question on the same theme.

I'm definitely going to read over those the others have listed as favourites though... Especially all this talk of bruising... Hmmmm. if you could see the bruises I have today, yum yum.

Elle, I will make an effort in the coming weeks to warm over some old favorites. In a number of cases, I can pose the question in a different way such that even long time brunchers won’t mind joining in again.

Sally: There have been so many wonderful, interesting and helpful brunches it would be too hard to pick one. I have learned so much from your readers and yourself. Each topic provides advice and insight into this thing we do and helps us all on our own journeys.

As for future topics, the ones you choose seem just fine. But since you asked, I would love to hear your readers opinions on “If we like it so much, how can it ever be punishment?” or one giving further explanation of the stress relief and how it is achieved (although your tutorial is excellent) and how about one on how your readers put more fun into the event.

Thanks, Sally. I like the first question. It should generate a lot of different opinions. We previously held brunches on the topics of stress relief spankings and fun and games. However, I believe there may be room for another question about making it fun.

Terpsichore: Congratulations on achieving 100 brunches! I started reading in September and have not yet had the chance to read all the posts from the past. However, I do enjoy reading the brunches every week and look forward to participating in future ones, reading past ones, and staying connected. If I think of any recommendations, I will certainly share. Thanks!

Thanks, Terpsichore. I appreciate your support!

Xandra: I didn't see a Brunch on bruising so with apologies if I'm overstepping :)

A warm-up will eliminate or greatly decrease bruising. Arnica will help bruises fade quicker. Take vitamin C. A deficiency promotes bruising. Apply a good moisturizer daily as well as before and after spankings. Vitamin C cream helps too.

That's all that comes to mind. Sorry if this was the wrong place to post this.

No problem at all. Thank you for sharing your knowledge.

Jean Marie: Woo-hoo, 100! What a tremendous milestone! It's all because you rock, Bonnie. And it's such as stone cold gas to chat with other like-minded individuals. Chisel it in granite tablets, erect a marble monument. I find your blog very communal, comforting, and cathartic.

Favorites to revisit: I think that the pinnacle moment when a spanko risks it all and "comes out" to a significant other/lover carries so much weighty emotion. I've liked it most when I've been able to reflect on such a situation with one of the series of men/tops in my life and talk about it in a posting on your blog.

New areas to explore: I may be all alone here, but I find that my sensuality doesn't stop at the nerve-endings of my bottom's cheeks. My anus and rectum are erogenous zones that I like to have touched, tickled, punished, prodded, massaged, and man-handled. Do other couples often enjoy anal sex and play after or during spanking? If we have company, I'd love to share experiences over a brunch. If there is interest, there is a plethora of related topics, from anal sex as erotic side-dish to anal sex as chastisement, from butt-plugs to figging to enemas...

Thanks, Jean Marie. We haven’t explored the issue of anal sex specifically. However, we did have a brunch where we considered the bottom in contexts beyond spanking.

Hermione: Congratulations on your centennial brunch! It's always such an honour and a privilege to come to brunch and share my experiences with you and all my friends at MBS.

When I first discovered your blog and read a few brunches picked at random, I thought a brunch was an online chat that happened on Sunday mornings. It even sounded like everyone met in person and knew one another. And who was this Bonnie that they all talked about?

I now know a lot more about brunches, blogs, and spanking. I have read all the brunches in your archive and have frequently felt the impulse to add my two cents to the discussion. So I would be delighted to see any of the earlier topics revisited. I'm sure many of your faithful readers did not have a chance to join you at earlier brunches and would also find the topics interesting.

I’m delighted to have you along for the ride. As for bringing back some of the classic topics, I believe I can capture the spirit without repeating the questions. I have a number of good ideas that I plan to explore in the coming weeks!

…And thanks to everyone who has joined us for this nearly two year run. I appreciate your participation and all these splendid ideas.

1 comment :

Ollie said...

May I add my congratulations on your 100th brunch too.

Sadly I can't normally contribute in time due to there being too many vanillas around over the weekend, but I always find the breadth of responses interesting and thought provoking.

It is good to get an insight into how someone else sees things, and to attempt to understand aspects of spanking which one would never consider for oneself

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