Bonnie's Mailbag - Part One

The old mailbag is splitting at the seams! I have so much mail to share that I'm going to break it into several posts. Here, for your reading pleasure, is the first installment.

Question: idk if u remember me im the person that asked u about spanking in a relashionship but i did find a gf and we r talking about spanking and even though shes in a different state then me i plan to see her in april but as i was saying we are going to do spanking in a relashionship and we made up some rules for fun that me and her both have to follow but not only do we want to do it as fun we want to also have serious spanking for bad things like smoking is a thing that really really makes me mad so thats an example but i was wondering what all percautions to take and what to do and what not to do and when its time to step it up for more hard smacks but yet at the same time knowing we both r going to be safe but yet take that kind of punishment i guess u could call it.

Response: I encourage you to read some of my tutorials (there’s a drop down box on the right). They address many of the issues you mention.

Comment: just wanted to thank you for your website it has been very helpful for my husband and i and very informatative we have took some ideas from the tutorials and some of the advice has helped him to loosen up and showed me how to talk to him to explain to him what i need thank you

Response: Bravo! Good for you.

Comment: Nice pic of your tushie. The one thing it needs besides a spanking would be a nice thick diaper!! Yummy!!

Response: That’s a whole different fetish.

Question: My wife has a friend at work, a single male, who is a frequent guest at our house for Friday night pizza. I like him and trust him, too. He jokingly refers to me as a "put-upon" husband, though I notice that my wife often nags and teases him in much the same way she nags and teases me. I'm guessing that an arrangement in which he and I bend her over the couch and jointly spank her fanny -- as in the Gidget clip -- would be of interest to him. The thought of it certainly turns me on!

I've spanked my wife now and then in the seventeen years we've been married; I know she likes it at least somewhat. I could bring the subject up with her as well as him, but I don't want to spoil the delicious element of surprise if and when such a dual spanking occurs. As long as our mutual friend and I spank her playfully, is this fantasy worth pursuing? Thank you for your time and consideration to this matter.

Response: I don't have a simple answer for your question. A lot depends upon the relationship you share with your wife. Your plan could be a hoot, but it could also be a disaster.

You might want to try the flip over the sofa back technique without the friend involved. If that generates a positive response, you could consider moving ahead from there.

In any case, it's best to move slowly when you're not certain of outcome. For many of us, spankings are sexual. Even for experienced couples, involving someone else is a significant step.

Comment: I'm a spanking enthusiast too and stumbled over your site while looking for spanko material.

Your site is well organized, a treasure trove of titillating and useful texts, and easy to navigate and read. I'm very happy that you're breaking all the current "standards" which result in the opposite.

But why I'm writing is to compliment you on your ass. It, too, breaks the mainstream "standard" in being just a little too well padded... I LOVE IT! Don't know what it looks like out of those jeans (come on, be daring, post a pic!) but it's just perfect as pictured. Were it not for a thousand little obstacles like the fact that you're already happily married and on another continent, I could see myself eagerly whupping your delectable buns on a daily basis or better.

Response: Too well padded. Yup, that’s me all right.

Question: Shortly after a wonderful (and intense) encounter with a variety of spanking implements, I was shopping at Costco on a very busy day secretly enjoying the soreness of my backside when it occurred to me to wonder if there was anyone else in the store experiencing the same thing. It was a delightful idea because it was entirely possible that there was at least one more sore bottom in the crowded store. Have you ever wondered? Wouldn’t it be fun if there were someway to tell?

Response: Of course I wonder whether people are spankos. Randy and I came up with a fun idea last year. It involves the use of some red fabric tied to a back belt loop as a tag. I don't think anyone else has adopted our suggestion, but it would be fun!

Question: I find I need to be spanked about every 3 days or so. Sometimes, two days in a row, but at least 3 times a week. Is that common? Unfortunately, our sleep-deprived, kid-filled lives interfere. We're spending a lot of time in the closet these days, literally.

Response: I think desire for spanking varies among people and over time. It's much like sexual appetite in that way. Randy and I have enjoyed spanking for many years. In that time, our interest has waxed and waned, but never quite disappeared. There's certainly nothing uncommon about 2-3 spankings per week.

Question: I have been wondering if the need to be dominated runs in families. My mom used to read "Gor" novels. When I was a kid I didn't know what they were. A few months ago, I stumbled upon a description of them on the internet, and had an "aha" moment. Not my scene, but for a divorced/widowed woman in the 70's who didn't want to be in charge of someone else's laundry, probably the best she could get.

Response: I don't know whether this interest runs in families. It would probably be difficult to conduct a study!

Question: What kind of spanking have you always wanted but never had?

Response: Now that’s a great question! I would say that I would like to experience spanking (and lovemaking) in zero gravity.

Question: I registered with your site, but for some reason I can't bring up any tutorials, fiction, etc. What do you think is wrong?

Response: Registered? This site is free and no registration is required. If the drop-down boxes don’t work, it may be because you have JavaScript disabled in your browser.

Comment: I am a fan of your website. I read some of your links and do not like almost all of them. I like your approach best. I think it erotic in a healthy.

I miss your stories. I think that you must be very busy with work, etc..........

Bottom Smarts website is not a money maker. I am mustering up the courage to write some stories of my own. I may share them with you.

Response: I'm glad you enjoy my blog. Thank you for your kind words. I'm a little surprised that you dislike most of my links. There are several that are reasonably close to MBS in tone and content. One of the benefits/curses of operating a popular blog is that people tend to borrow. I choose to take that as an acknowledgment that I'm doing something right. In any case, my purpose in posting all of those links is to present other voices that MBS readers might appreciate.

Yeah, I miss the stories as well. There will be more, but I can't tell you just when. I have lots to share, but precious little uninterrupted quiet time to write. I tend to be a perfectionist. Until a story is just right, I don't want to post it. As a result, I have this remarkable collection of half-told spanking tales. I tell myself that I'll finish them one day, if I remember what happened.

I don't take any money for MBS. I like it that way. The arrangement allows me to say what I want without fear of offending a sponsor. I decided at the very beginning that this blog cannot be about money. There are enough mercenary spanking sites already. I have no argument with bloggers who choose to participate in advertising and affiliate programs. That's just not me.

If you choose to share spanking stories, I'd love to read them.

Stay tuned for more mailbag posts in the coming days!

Sexual Expression Survey

Our friend, Olivia, is working on her Masters' thesis. She asked if members of our community could aid her research by completing a ten question survey. It's anonymous and the questions are interesting and thought-provoking. I hope you'll help out Olivia!

Recap: MSB Sunday Brunch for Dec 28

Our topic of the week was highlights of 2008. As you can see, there were plenty of great ones!

Paul: I met a young lady in May this year, she promises to make 2009 quite interesting. She rather brought me back to life.

May 2009 bring you both everything you need and some of what you desire.

Here’s to life, Paul. Enjoy!

Jflame: I've had one of the best years of my life!

I found that I could get the internet on my phone. I found several spanking sites that confirmed that I am not a freak. I found a new friend who became an Uncle. I FOUND A DOM OF MY OWN! I started my own spanking blog. I now have more friends than I've ever had. I'm learning more and more about this fascinating spanko world. I HAVE A DOM (does happy dance around room). And the best thing of all, I HAVE A DOM.

Yes, I've had a very good year and I hope that 2009 will be just as good or better.

Oh yeah, I also got my own laptop!

That’s a great year all right. Good for you!

Hermione: The highlight of 2008 was starting my own spanking blog. It has brought me more joy and happiness than I ever thought possible. I've met so many great people through it, and hope to meet many more.

My hope for 2009 is that I will be able to share this enjoyment with my husband and that he will support and encourage my creativity and pleasure.

Happy New Year from Hermione and Ron!

We’re all rooting for you!

Daisy: This year has been a year of intense brilliance and bitter disappointment. I spent a wonderful, amazing holiday with my beloved Davey, and we realised that our plan of tying the knot would have to be postponed. This leaves us apart for yet another year. Instead, we stood under the stars and pledged our lives to each other before God. Since then, we have considered ourselves married!

However, 2009 sees our (hitherto unthwarted) plan of getting married for real approaching fast, and we are both so excited! Even the complicated issue of trying to get him a (very expensive) visa to enter the UK is failing to cause despondency. We ARE going to win through these difficulties. That’s because we are so much in love, and love always wins, doesn't it? May everyone enjoy a 2009 full of love, joy, peace and fulfillment (and spanks, but that goes without saying, right?).

OH, and of course, as most of you know, ('cause I haven't yet shut up about it,) a highlight of this year saw me become a grandmother to a beautiful baby girl, Laura Marie… just this month!

Being a grandmother is the best job ever!

Carly: 2008 will be a year to remember always for me and Ben. I started Brambleberry in September. We had the sky high spanking in the lookout tower and the heavenly Christmas spanking too. There were many others along the way. Thanks to everybody for ideas, suggestions, and encouragement.

Carly, thank you for sharing your wonderful insights and adventures.

Ronnie: Bonnie, I started my own spanking blog, thanks to you. It’s something I wish I had done a lot earlier. I found many lovely friends. I am enjoying sharing.

I also had my first real sound paddling. It hurt more than I thought, but it was nice though.

My hope for 2009 is for everybody to have the best year they can. I know it is going to be a difficult year. Also, I wish good things for Paul with his new young lady. He is a true gentleman and so kind to everybody.

And to you, Bonnie and Randy, love and best wishes. Thank you.

That’s one fine year, Ronnie. Thank you too!

Sandy: 2008 was a good year for me. Rad and I celebrated our two-year wedding anniversary. I started my side business as The Corporal Consultant, I've been blogging and writing more, I'm losing weight, my job is going pretty well, I got a raise and promotion AND my own office for the first time in YEARS! We also had a wonderful time at Shadow Lane over Labor Day weekend getting to know more people, I felt, more intimately than before. And Florida Moonshine in June was simply awesome.

Sandy, you and Rad definitely know how to enjoy life. Your success is an inspiration for the rest of us.

Purple Woman: I look forward to receiving even more spankings in 2009 than I did in 2008. I must learn to ask for them without feeling ashamed, because he admits to forgetting. I'm open to suggestions on that. I also just started a spanking blog in December, as a holiday gift to myself – thanks to Bonnie! I love reading everyone else's blogs on spanking!

You’re very welcome. Happy blogging!

Tiggs: Gee, I am so glad to be back amongst the spanking community and even happier to be receiving spankings of my own again! Also, we're having much better health this year than last, and I've made many new friends and acquired a young cousin in the spanko community!

I'd have to say that my very best spanking good time of 2008 was Christmas Day, because thus far, it's been the ONLY spanking good time!

But that's only just the beginning of our renewed fun at Casa d'Amore!

Love, bounces and hugs to you and Randy and everyone here!

It’s great to have you back, Tiggs!

Andrades: I have to say that one of the highlights of this year was finding your blog! It really has played a major part in my Spanko, HOH, DD, etc. journey. The lighthearted way that you share information about yourself and this very complex subject is to be highly commended.

Through the help of your blog and the lovely people I met through "spanko blogging," I have been able to start having an open dialogue with my husband about all of this. We are very close to enjoying my first spanking experience, which may be happening very, very soon. We have bought some toys together on-line, started a jar policy (that we learned about thru Constance and Mr C's blog), and we are reading my blog and other blogs together! That’s a big change for us this year.

I look forward to a continued growth in our marriage, and keeping up with these wonderful blogging friendships.

Andrades, I’m pleased to be able to assist in any way I can.

Jean Marie: I shared my best spanking experience of 2008 with Bonnie by e-mail. It happened over Christmas and I'm still not sitting:)

I have to say that it filled my heart with joy to read Paul's posting. He is the nicest man I know, and he deserves a blessed 2009.

Bravo, Jean Marie!

Claire: 2008 has been the best year of my life. Upon turning 29 in April, I decided to make things happen. I decided I wanted to meet a man with whom I could share my life, but that my life could not be without a bit of kinkiness and spanking. I joined an appropriate dating website. I met a couple of guys. I had some fun with them and they taught me a few things (good and bad).

Then I met the love of my life. It is everything I ever wanted, a man who wants a long term and kinky relationship. It is a relationship based on love with spanking and dominance and submission as a part of that love. I'm even discovering a dominant side to myself because he's a fan of switching things around.

There is still so much we want to do together – vanilla, spanking, other BDSM stuff. But it is so lovely to know that there is no hurry. We can take it at our own pace because we have the rest of our lives to enjoy each other (although we shall make the most of pre-children time).

I'm really, really, looking forward to 2009. I get to spend all twelve months with my new love and I can only see our love getting stronger and deeper. We will also get to learn more about each other and be able to share some very fun spankings indeed.

I can certainly understand your eager anticipation. That sounds wonderful.

Roissy Fille: I agree with Andrades that finding your blog was a big one. That is for many reasons such as being able to read your words of wisdom, fun, and passion. It enabled me to participate in excellent spanko brunches and have the courage to articulate how I feel about this wonderful development in my life. I was able to find so many wonderful words by such a diverse bunch of people through your blog roll. I was pleasantly surprised to find so many women of around my own age blogging about things that I was also experiencing and enjoying.

The biggest highlight was being able to have the conversation with my wonderful partner that changed us from enjoying the occasional sensual spanking to me being able to say "I want to go over your knee" and him putting me there.

Looking forward to the New Year, I hope to be writing a blog of my own. Thanks for everything, Bonnie. Long may you run.

Aw, that’s sweet. Thanks!

Xan: 2008 was the beginning of my spanking adventure. I had my first discipline spanking in 2008, and started a blog about spanking because it has become such an important part of my life. And I have great hopes that my vanilla husband will become a spanko in 2009!

Here’s wishing you a big dose of chocolate fudge ripple!

Eliane: 2008 was the year I had the courage to explore my spanking kink in real life for the first time, and my life is immeasurably richer for it. I've got lots of new online and real life friends, and, quite frankly, I am having the time of my life. Here's to 2009 being even better :-D

That sounds fabulous, Elaine. You rock!

Olivia: 2008 was the year when I started my public blog, through which I have made many new online and real life friends. I feel so lucky to know or to have come in to contact with them.

There have been many adventures and lots of beautiful memories in their wake. But most of all, in this realm of my life, it was a year of understanding myself more fully, letting go of the past, and feeling more whole. That is something I truly cherish.

In 2009, I look forward to parties in the attic (which has now been renamed a garret by Eliane) and emotional and physical well-being, fulfillment, aliveness, playfulness and love for all of you and for all of our families and friends.

Bonnie, best wishes to you and Randy for 2009.

Thank you, Olivia. Yours is a dream worth living.

Lee: Well, I divulged the fact that I love being spanked for the first time, and have been able to use my fetish during sex. Even better, I found out that my lover isn't turned on by spanking me. He does it simply because he knows it turns me on. It’s nice to feel wanted for who I am. That never happened before.

That’s wonderful, Lee. Congratulations on your success.

Indy: This has been my first year actively engaged in spanking play in real life, and it's been wonderfully exciting! So much so that it's hard to pick a single highlight – playing for the first time, attending the Florida Moonshine Tropical Beach Party and Shadow Lane, attending a half-dozen smaller events, meeting so many wonderful people, and finding my vanilla friends to be supportive of my new hobby, as I call it. When I think about it, I sort of shake my head in wonder. I'm glad I took the plunge, as it's much better having fun with spanking than wondering about it.

I hope you, Randy, and all your readers enjoyed the holidays, and all the best in the New Year.

It’s really been quite a year, hasn’t it?

Big Bear: Thanks for a wonderful year on your blog. In line with previous comments, 2008 has been a pretty terrible year for me, with one shining exception. I met a truly wonderful woman (Penfold) who has inspired me in my work and in my life (and she's a spanko too :D). Although, due to all the bad stuff this year, we cannot be together just yet, I think that she is “the One.”. So, 2009 will hopefully bring better results.

Thanks again, Bon.

You’re very welcome. I wish you and Penfold a splendid 2009!

Soma: This has been an interesting year. This was my first year of entering the spanking world. I had thought about it for a long time, but until 2008, I had never gotten spanked before. It has been wonderful and exciting and I'm enjoying every minute of it. I have many good memories/adventures to start off my spanking journey! I'm looking forward to seeing what 2009 brings for my current spanking relationship and to see where this interest takes me.

Soma, that is a fine beginning indeed.

Maryann: In 2008, I got every adult spanking I've ever had. I also had a spanking blog for a short time. If I get more spankings in 2009, I'll return to the blog. Meanwhile, it is time to reflect on all of the joy and just plain fun I had with Max this year. Blessings to all for 2009.

May all your (spanko) wishes come true…

Anna: 2K8 held many good moments, including an amazing promotion at work. It also held some lows like being hospitalized for three days. But overall, it was a good year. I'm hoping 2K9 will hold some more great adventures and maybe even a spanking or two. It's been a long dry spell, and I think even my family is beginning to worry.

We certainly wouldn't want to worry your family. Best wishes for the new year, Anna

CurtisG: 'Twas an up and down year. It started with the beginning of what could have been a wonderful relationship whose erotic core began with spanking. It ended with that relationship breaking up. In the meantime, I held one spanking party at my house, went to one at my friends' house in Kentucky, went to the Florida Moonshine Beach Party, a Crimson Moon Party, two Our Need and Desire Parties, and met some wonderful people in the scene. I also celebrated my birthday and the birthday of a good friend with mutual spanking in New York. But at this holiday time, I'm lonely.

Happy Holidays to you Bonnie and Randy, and thanks for your wonderful blog.

Wow, you have plenty for which to be thankful as we cross the threshold into another year. Good for you!


Anon: One highlight was getting a sound spanking this year, though it hurt like the dickens. I also found your blog which taught me that it's not such a private life that we spankos have. I started an online relationship with a man from my state and found out that he was a spanker. Without finding this site and knowing how many spanko's there really are out there, I may not have ever brought it up. Thanks Bonnie.

You’re most welcome.

Bonnie: Here are five of our spanko highlights: 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5. Love Our Lurkers day was definitely a highlight as well.

In terms of the blog, I will remember 2008 as the year I loosened up. I decided that I could no longer (1) post high quality topical content, (2) post everyday, and (3) retain my sanity. So I gave up trying to post every day and that has made a huge difference. Some material gets set aside, but that’s just how it has to be, at least for now.’

My hope for 2009 is to keep growing, evolving, and learning. I’m old enough to know what to do and young enough to still do it.

Thanks to everyone who shared their special moments and aspirations for the future. May 2009 be the year your dreams are realized. I wish that life, health happiness, and fulfillment will all be yours in abundance.

MBS Spanko Brunch #154

Welcome to our last brunch of 2008. This is a traditional time to assess where we've been and ponder where we might be going. It's been a pretty good year for Randy and me, at least in terms of spankings. How about you?

Have you a spanking-related highlight for 2008? How about a new relationship, a great adventure, a unique toy, or a special memory? What do you look forward to in 2009?

If you would like to join our discussion, you can simply leave a comment below. Once everyone has had a chance to share their thoughts, I will post an edited summary.

Even if you've never participated before, please know that you're always welcome here. We would love to hear what you think.

A Holiday Wish From Bonnie and Randy

It's easy to let the stress of the season overshadow all that is positive. Just surviving when surrounded by so much worry and hurry can often be a challenge.

For one day a year, though, I suggest that we need to stop. Stop it all. Those troubles, however menacing they might be, will wait for a while.

I think it's beneficial to remind ourselves of what really matters in this world. For us, that's family, friends, and our beliefs (Randy wanted to include "football," but I nixed it).

These are what make life truly worthwhile. Money and possessions may seem important. But true love is priceless.

In this holiday season, the best gift you can offer is yourself. We encourage you to celebrate the people and relationships in your life. Loving is good, but demonstrating your love is even better.

However you choose to spend the day, may you find bountiful blessings and unbridled bliss. If you can manage to fit in a nice spanking session, that's wonderful as well.

Best wishes from My Bottom Smarts to all of our readers. May your 2009 be peaceful, rewarding, and enjoyable.

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Dec 21

Our topic this week was spanking-related plans or wishes for the holiday season. As you can see, MBS readers are filled with the holiday spirit!

Jean Marie: The reality of Christmas morning is always pretty special. In my dreams, it's phenomenal!

In reality, I always get at least one spanking-related gift each year. My stocking (hung on the fireplace mantle) is reserved for that. In the past, I've gotten a nice wooden hairbrush or tooled leather paddle in there. One year, my lover claimed that I was a bad girl and I got a switch. As soon as I pull the gift from my stocking, tradition dictates that I drop the seat of my flannel pajamas and bend over for a dose from the new implement. Oftentimes, this leads to hot sex in front of the roaring fire with my buns all toasty warm.

My dream is to go with my lover to one of those spanking parties like those Shadow Lane hosts several times a year. I'm painfully shy in front of strangers as a rule, but in my dreams my lover bares me and sensually spanks me. Then a long line of tops, men and women both, queue up to discipline my deserving derriere. I'm passed around and spanked repeatedly, by some sensually and by others severely. With some people, this evolves into sex-play. I know that the reality would pale in comparison to my fantasy, so I preserve the heat of it (and my dignity) by just keeping it as masturbation-fodder.

Jflame: In reality, I don't know, I'll leave that up to my Dom. But dreams are another story.

On Christmas Eve, it’s our tradition to open one present after we get home from the midnight carol service.

I shall open the present from my Dom and find a nice wooden paddle. Of course, I'll be all surprised and pout a little as he leads me over to the sofa where he stands me before the arm and pulls down my jeans. Yes, I'll struggle a little as he orders me to bend over the arm forcing him to give me a few warning swats before I comply grudgingly. Of course, he won't be thrilled with the fact that I went to church without any panties, so he'll have to teach me a lesson in propriety.

As the swats land on my upturned bottom, I will moan in pleasure. But as he notices this, he will inevitably endeavor to strengthen the impact that the paddle is having upon me.

As the blows get harder and harder, I get hotter and hotter and eventually he cannot help but to drop the paddle and take me long and hard as the snow continues to fall and Santa continues to deliver presents to all the good boys and girls.

In the morning, I shall receive a switch because I've been such a naughty girl this year.

Greenwoman: That was a l lovely story, Jay.

This year, I've no plans for spankings. Even if my husband and I were still together, its family time for us. We've always got kids around, so there's really no time for such play. For us, spanking time has always been non-holiday time.

But if I were to have a tradition, it would be a Christmas Eve one. I would like to get a spanking for being naughty through the year. Then, in order to make up for it all, I'd have to give some kind of “make me happy service.” I'm sure it would be the usual kind that all men want. All before I get a lovely Christmas Eve gift of something romantic that I'd adore and feel like a jubilant giddy school girl over.

Nice fantasy, eh? I'm hoping that some day such a thing will be a tradition in my home.

morningstar: Sir and I find the holiday season probably the hardest time of the year to find time for "us."

On Christmas Eve, the family gathers here for lunch and gifts. On Christmas Day, we usually go off to our youngest daughter's for the BIG feast. Then there is Sir's birthday on the 28th. This involves entertaining family and friends.

In between times, we tend to veg out and try and recharge our batteries.

This year, however, there is one planned event for "us." I have been on a shaving ban. Sir promised that Dec 25th (before the trip to daughter's), I will be shaved.

I purchased a couple of new "toys" for Sir. One is for Christmas morning (snuggled in bed with juice) and then one is more for His birthday. I guess I am hoping that Sir will find at least one evening or afternoon or a stolen hour somewhere to try them out.

I have my fingers crossed...

Ariana: Sadly, I'll be away from my honey this winter. Alas, the course of collegiate spanko love never did run smooth. I might go visit him for a weekend, but any sort of fooling around, let alone the loud (and giggly) kind, seems inappropriate under his parents' roof.

Fun, but inappropriate.

We do have a long weekend over Valentine's weekend, and I've been fantasizing about going to a B&B with sound-proof walls, lots of rope, and aloe...

Dragonmage: I have nothing spanking-related for luvbunny this year. Last year, I got her a brush (specifically, a paddle brush). ^_^

I did get her a special gift, though. It is a gift card for a half-hour massage. It's not a surprise, so it's OK that she will read this comment. LOL

Irelynn: I'm going to be home for two weeks over the holidays, so a spanking is not an option for me this year. Nor do I have a partner to give me a spanking. Maybe next year!

I did receive a rather lovely flogger from a good friend though. It’s just like I gave my blogging partner in crime a brilliant riding crop with an angel at the end. I got a similar crop for myself, only with a devil on the end. ;-) Kinky presents are always nice to give and get, because you know so much thought goes into choosing one that suits a person's wants and their character.

I'm thinking Greenwoman's ideas about Christmas Eve spankings (and other things!) are quite good! That's a tradition I would love to introduce some day!

Ronnie: We also find it hard to spank during the holiday season. This Christmas is no exception. We are going to a family pub in Wales, and it’s apparently haunted. It’s been in the village over 200 years.

Here is my wish:

Christmas Eve would be just the two of us. This may sound selfish at this time of year, but in all the years we have been together, we have only spent two Christmases with just the two of us. We would attend the Christmas Carol service and then return home. Under the tree with a glass of wine, mince pie, and music playing, we would just be close and please each other.

On Christmas Day, there would be a special present from me to P, given whilst we are still in bed. It will be one he can use on me, but I can't say what it is as P sometimes reads Bonnie's brunch. It would be accompanied with a cheeky note that P will have to act upon. This would leave me with a very, very sore bottom that will still be stinging while I am preparing the turkey and uncomfortable while sitting.

It’s nice to dream, but I will be looking forward to seeing the family.

Andrades: My husband and I don't usually buy each other gifts at Christmas. This year, I am not really sure what is going to happen. There are so many changes. I finally had "The Talk" with my husband. I showed him some of my posts, including my Dear Santa post. But that was just for fun. Did he take it seriously or for fun? I have no idea, and I am a little scared / excited about that. I am trying to let things unfold and let him find his way. I am already having trouble letting go of control and nothings happened yet, only a few threatening lighthearted conversations.

OH MY! What have I started? I will keep you posted. And Bonnie, I started my conversation with info about your blog. I sent him a link to one of your tutorials and he read them all in one night. Double OH MY. We shall see what happens on Christmas.

I’m pleased to be able to assist. I hope all your wishes will come true!

Todd and Suzy: We like to pick out something fun and kinky for Christmas as a way to celebrate the extra time the season allows us. Plus, it can get pretty stressful at this time of the year, and something fun to look forward to helps with that. Usually the gift can't make it under the tree... A couple of years ago, we picked out a paddle.

This year though, we're going with drop-seat pajamas for Suzy. If Santa can get it here in time, they'll go under the tree.

Pammie: Sadly, there are no spanking plans for me for Christmas – and most likely, no spanking gifts either.

Santa, all I want for Christmas is a spanker of my own – to have and to hold, and to bend over for.

Paul: I suspect that this is every Dom's dream for Christmas Eve. I have a favourite tawse, well used and stingy. It's about 10 PM. My brat wanders in wearing only one of my shirts. I've piled a stack of cushions in front of the fire.

I tell her to remove the shirt and lay over the cushions bottom up. I swing the tawse against her bottom, gradually increasing the heat. She ouches and hisses, but I know that she is enjoying it.
Midnight finds us entwined in a loving snuggle, both of us nicely warmed.

Anon: My girlfriend is far, far away this year and I am back home with the family. We will be doing our kinky Christmas late this year once we both get back into town. I've purchased something from Ian for her.

Lil Sam: I would like Santa to bring me or take me to a new partner as I have been alone now for two years and nine months. I would like a partner who is a patient teacher and I would be a willing student. I need a partner who is into giving spankings and teaching his lady about the kinky side of life.

Welcome, Lil Sam!

Olivia: I was thinking about what Shannee spoke of in terms of a Christmas Eve tradition. I started wishing away, and writing, and it lead to far too many words to write here. It turned in to a bit of a story over on my own blog.

Zille Defeu: We will be stuck at my parent’s house for Christmas. Any spankings that occur will have to be done very quietly, and I’m not generally known for being quiet. So if he does spank me, he has to gruffly order me not to make any noise, and I have to bed to stuff my face in a pillow! ;)

This year, there are no directly-related spanking gifts. When we have those, we open them at home before we leave (and of course, try them out!)

One of the best I’ve ever given him was a weighted bookmark that has the words, “Regard the weight of words rather than their number” (Cicero) stamped in the leather. I figured it applied not just to words, but to spanks, as well! It’s a good, if nasty, little spanking tool, and very portable. Yet, it is not obviously a spanking implement (except to spankos, who would never use it for anything else!)

But, happily, we will be home in time for New Year’s, and my perfect way to celebrate it would be for us to drink a lot of champagne (several bottles of our favorite brand have already been laid in!) and have sex and spankings all night long. How better to ring in the New Year?!

Daisy: We have never spent a Christmas together yet, and hopefully, this year will be the last time we are apart. I am hoping we will start some "traditions" next year to begin our lives together. Bright ideas are welcome...

I particularly liked the idea of dragging the mattress in and sleeping by the Christmas tree and having a whole lot of fun there. I read about this on Carly’s blog.

Dave: My wish is to simply meet that special someone who is into spanking. My lap is terribly empty at the moment.

K: Not only do we have Christmas, we have a birthday and an anniversary to celebrate this week. Since this is our first celebratory season as spankos, we're exchanging several naughty gifts and hoping for lots of opportunities to use them. Hubby's nearly finished making me a set of leather wrist and ankle cuffs with clips to attach them in various ways. He also has plans to make a leather paddle and a collar. I'm not sure what the collar means because he doesn't think of me as submissive, but he does know I'm his. I'm giving him a wooden hairbrush and a chamois that I'll make into a flogger afterwards. His gifts can't be opened in front of the teens, but mine can. Only the two of us will know what the gifts are really for and we'll share a naughty secret.

Hubby has vacation the next two weeks and the teens will be in and out with other relatives to visit. We're hoping for lots of lazy mornings and late nights after the baby is asleep to enjoy our new toys and each other.

Bonnie: We will have houseguests next weekend, but that won’t stop the spanko part of our celebration. We planned a very private party on the evening before our daughter (and her daughter!) arrive.

We generally exchange gifts that somehow relate to this interest of ours. These could be new implements, but they are just as likely to be sex toys, lotions, bondage equipment, or videos. I’ve tried giving Randy innocent-looking, but pervertable gifts during the family exchange, but he seems to always find a way to make it uncomfortable for me. So I’m not going to use that strategy this year.

I have something fun for him, but I can’t give it away just yet!

Wow, it’s going to be a great holiday! Thanks to everyone who contributed.

MBS Spanko Brunch #153

Welcome to the holiday edition of our spanko brunch. Our question is, quite naturally, a seasonal one.

Have you any special spanking-related plans or wishes for this holiday season? Are there any noteworthy gifts or events in your plans? If not, what would you like to be getting or doing?

If you want to join in the celebration and add your thoughts, I invite you to leave a comment below. Once everyone has had an opportunity to speak, I will post an edited summary of the proceedings.

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Dec 14

Our topic of the week dealt with vanilla relationships that evolve into kinky ones. Here are your thoughts.

Todd and Suzy: We have never had it "suddenly" happen. There have been vanilla friendships that eventually turned into something spanking related, but the transition was a long one. It starts with bringing up the topic of spanking and then having casual discussions. At some point, there is a back and forth Q and A that leads to a “how would you spank me?” exchange. This flows into a spanking.

It's a slow process though, and to be honest, I'm not sure the person is really "vanilla" to start with. True vanillas seem to balk at the first mention of spanking. But I have moved from a vanilla-based friendship to having some kinky spanking fun, even if my friend has never really thought much about spanking. They do need to be open-minded, and at least in my experience, it can't be rushed.

Daisychain: I don't think it counts, but when Davey and I first met online, he was a vanilla. After a few months, I expressed a desire for him to spank me for being a brat. Initially, he was a little shocked (maybe that’s too strong a word, nothing I say shocks him). He considered spanking to be spousal abuse. I convinced him to read your blog, and gradually, he came around to the idea. By the time we met in person, he was really looking forward to it!

Girl: This is a tricky one. The relationship was vanilla, but the people in it were not. My friend Jessie and I were decent acquaintances. On a trip with the local Out on Campus group, our goal was to go to the local gender and sex book store (for anyone near Vancouver, Little Sister's is a very good store). We started thinking of what our organization needed for books and, BAM! We both realised that we were the only people there well versed on kink.

We went on a few dates, but she tragically had to move to the opposite side of the continent. All the same, it was fun discovering a fellow kink girl. Mostly, the friends I make are more likely to be kinky than not. Strange that.

Dr. Ken: No, I've never had it happen. There was one girl with whom I was friends, and I did give her a birthday spanking. But I was so worried about her reaction, the swats were really light. REALLY light! I'm not sure you could even really call it a "spanking". I'd given her a good swat or two in the past, but her reaction to them always made me feel that if I ever actually spanked her in the way I wanted to, she would run away as fast as possible and never have anything to do with me again.

When it was over, she did say, "You can spank me anytime." But I'm sure she was referring to the mildness of it all, and a steady diet of THAT kind of spanking just wasn't for me.

We stayed friends – I still hear from her on occasion – but that's as far as it went.

Andrades: I am still "working" on my vanilla relationship. So I will have to keep you posted! Todd makes an interesting point. If a relationship changes from vanilla to shall we say, "chocolate," then were they really vanilla to begin with? Or were they perhaps just a hidden "chocolate" all along? This is a very deep and complex question. I feel that fear and social constraints hold us back from expressing our true selves in many ways.

Tiggs: I was all ready to answer "no" to this and then I thought a little harder...

I was the first woman/person a vanilla friend of mine ever spanked. She was always a wild and crazy gal and I knew she swung both ways (girls and guys, that is). But she'd never spanked before. Her greatest fear was hurting me, which was funny to me at the time (and still is).

It wasn't much of a spanking and there was only minimal sexual play afterward. But I have a feeling that it may have fueled something deep inside her and has probably added something spankably special to her long-term relationship with her boyfriend.

It’s kind of neat when I think about it like that. I helped to bring someone out of their shell in another way, and expand their horizons!

Prefectdt: No, that never happened to me. But I do tend to go out of my way not to burden my vanilla friends with my fetish. This question has got my mind whirring a bit about whether or not some of my vanilla friends are really secret spankos.

Jean Marie: A long time ago, I invited an actress/model to come home for dinner with me and my then boyfriend after a shoot. We were cooking in the kitchen and drinking wine when my boyfriend came home. He did his best Stanley Kowalski impression and greeted me by putting me over the kitchen counter and spanking my jeans-covered bottom. I could tell that my new girlfriend was half shocked and more than a little intrigued.

When I sat down at the table, I squirmed and smiled, so the conversation came back to spanking. We openly told her about our lifestyle. By the time dinner and three bottles of wine were consumed, she let her curiosity get the best of her. My boyfriend spanked her playfully over her skirt. I spanked her seductively, raising her skirt and gradually working her panties into the crack of her ass, she spanked me on the bare. She watched my boyfriend paddle me seriously with my hairbrush while she touched herself. Then we went to the bedroom and frolicked the night away. Ah, to be in my twenties and care-free again...

Padme: My friendship was strictly vanilla with my Master for seven years. We did not even sleep together. We were just friends until we got into a relationship after a night of passion. Then the kink and spankings started a few months afterwards. It was a slow transition, though, and we did lots of talking. We eventually moved toward being a TPE (total power exchange) couple and now we both use BDSM in our relationship.

Pammie: Yes, the first D/s relationship I experienced started out as vanilla. He was a very large man (in all ways – hahahahaha) and I am a petite woman. When he hugged me, his embrace engulfed me. This made me feel controlled. Eventually, I slid into sexual obedience. We did whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted, and wherever he wanted. After a few months, we began experimenting with spanking, bondage, and orgasm control (for me, not him, of course).

We never called our relationship D/s or BDSM, but in reality, it was.

Ms. Betty: Let me start by thanking everyone for the wonderful answers so far, since I asked the question. The insights are much appreciated.

I think Todd (and Suzy) are right. I guess it isn't really sudden, or hasn't been. It just feels like it.

Girl has a good point, too, about the relationship being vanilla, but the people being kinky. I think that applies here.

What's happened in my case feels odd to me, but I guess it’s more common than I thought. Then again, I seem to be doing a lot of guessing with this one. Even though I’ve had something similar happen before, it feels like uncharted territory.

I started a job last summer and found myself working with someone a bit… unconventional. Though extremely talented, he tends to be distracted, forgetful, and just a bit careless …the usual. He was also my immediate supervisor when I started. While I tend to let people be who they are, I started to find some of these things exasperating, then frustrating, then downright intolerable.

In particular, he tended to make one specific mistake over and over again all shift long, every single day. One day, I picked up a handy rubber band and explained how there was a very good behavior modification technique for breaking bad habits. You simply put a rubber band on someone’s wrist and each time they repeat the undesired behavior you snap it. His face brightened and he asked in a little too excited of a tone if I’d really thought about doing that to him. Then I did something I rarely do and stalled. But in the end, I was honest that, yes, I had.

From there, he kept testing me until I did finally use the rubber band. While the first mistake stopped, he started pushing me in other ways. There were the threats, a bit of banter back and forth, and then, yes, I finally did end up spanking him. I have done so several more times since.

So what’s the problem? I still find myself hesitating, which is not something I’m at all used to. When I start a spanking relationship, it starts with careful negotiations. I know exactly what his needs and desires are and where the boundary lines are before I ever pick up the hairbrush.

This time, I don’t. I feel like I am in one of those old video games where the screen was dark and you found the walls of the maze by bumping into them one at a time. We are talking and negotiating, but there is so much to find out and it’s going awfully slowly. As I don’t want to risk harming him or our very good friendship, I find myself holding off a lot more than I like. I’m going with “if in doubt, don’t” for now which I think is best. But I’m also realizing being too hesitant could spoil things as much as being too aggressive.

I realize that life doesn’t come with guarantees and that there isn’t one right perfect answer. But I suppose, sometimes, you can’t help hoping to find one.

Hermione: For all I knew, Ron might have been vanilla. The subject of spanking had never come up, although my bottom was always the primary focus of his attention. Then one night, while we were making love, he began to spank me, and kept on spanking until I achieved an orgasm. Since then, spanking has been an integral part of our sexual activities.

Danielle: My husband and I were in a vanilla relationship for many years. When we were first married, he tried to spank me. But I was very vanilla and not interested. A couple of years ago, John found MBS and other spanking blogs and started to read without my knowledge. Afterward, he showed me what he was secretly reading. For the first time, I learned what that meant: spanking! To make a long story short, he started spanking me. Quite soon after, I began to spank him. That is how it is nowadays. Before, I had never ever thought about spanking. I did not even know the word. From a vanilla person, I changed into a spanker who not only spanks her husband, but friends as well.

Xan: Yes, I guess you could say that I have. One of my best friends in college started spanking me for discipline reasons after we had been "vanilla" friends for a couple of months. In fact, I would never have even considered that she was even a little bit into spanking. Of course, at that time, I was just getting into it too, so I was relatively vanilla myself!

On a side note, I hope that my husband, dear vanilla that he is, will one day be one of those new kinky friends of mine!

Thank to everyone who shared their experiences. I hope you'll join us again next week.

MBS Spanko Brunch #152

Welcome back,everyone, to a very wintry spanko brunch. Our topic du jour comes from our friend, Ms Betty.

Have you ever had a vanilla friendship suddenly turn kinky? If so, how did you handle the transition?

If you've had this experience or can share your insight regarding a similar situation, I invite you to leave a comment below. Once everyone has checked in, I will post an edited summary of our discussion.

Monday Night Double Delight

Anyone who was concerned for my well-being needn’t be. I can tell you that two spankings are better than one, at least when they’re fun ones. And these definitely were.

Yesterday morning, I shared with Randy what I had planned for my dual milestone celebration. He particularly liked the vintage Six Million Dollar Man lunchbox. But he thought no double celebration would be complete without a pair of spankings. So, just that quickly, we had a plan.

Learning about a spanking (or two) in advance is kind of a love/hate thing for me. I adore the excited anticipation that comes with knowing that I will soon absorb my lover’s best abrupt caress. It’s arousing to the point where my mind races ahead pondering all of the sizzling erotic permutations.

I dislike it because, well, I have work to do! It’s not easy to concentrate when not one, but two spankings await me before bedtime.

I almost made it through my day without acting like a complete ditz. About four o’clock, I was editing an article another writer had authored. My eyes came across the phrase “…a record spanning…” I think I must have uttered some sort of nervous squeal because my neighbor came around the wall to make sure I was all right. I was fine, of course, and the text really didn’t say “record spanking.” But that was what I read!

Later at home, I paced the house, puttering with housework and peeking at spanko blogs. I counted the minutes until Randy would arrive. I tried to anticipate his first move and then my response. This is, of course, a fruitless exercise, but it helps the time pass more quickly.

By the time that my dear paddle-happy hubby started walking up the steps from our garage, the butterflies in my stomach were already in flight. I wanted his attention desperately, but now, suddenly, I wasn’t quite ready. I wanted a glass of water. I wanted to fix my hair. I wanted to pee.

The door shot open and there he was, grinning almost from ear to ear. “Hi!”

His tone was cheery and upbeat. I knew immediately that he was looking forward to the events about to unfold. I answered his greeting in kind.

“Upstairs?”

I love a forceful man of few words. Though stated as a question, I chose to take this as a command. I marched up to our bedroom, ready to face my fate. Randy followed closely behind, reaching at one point to place his hands upon my hips. In my heightened sense of anxious arousal, even this gentle grasp seemed electric.

We moved into our bedroom and Randy immediately guided me to the bed. He clearly wasn’t wasting any time. He positioned me so that I was kneeling on the edge of the bed. My head and shoulders were down and my bottom was high in the air. This was a familiar spanking position. Randy prefers this stance when he wants to apply a free swinging sort of implement.

He lifted my skirt to reveal a red thong I had picked out for the occasion. “Oh, you know I like that!”

Yeah, I know.

He demonstrated his appreciation for my lingerie fashion sense by slapping his hard hand against the ample flesh of right cheek. A smart companion blow soon followed on the other side. Alternating from one exposed buttock to the other, my love delivered a well-executed warm up. These hand spanks were firm, and they hurt, but I drank them in like nectar.

After several minutes, Randy switched to a small leather paddle. I love this paddle and he undoubtedly chose it for that reason. I cooed as he made it dance and sting across my burning flesh. In one of those odd moments of self-awareness, it occurred to me that this set of sensations was just perfect. The one man in my life was spanking me so well that I just wanted it to go on and on.

Just as I was settling into the lovely rhythm of the smacks, he stopped! I raised my bottom ever so slightly as if that might cause my lover to resume. No such luck.

“C’mon, Bon. Let’s go grab some dinner.”

Surely, I thought, he must be joking. On second thought, I realized he was serious. If he wasn’t going to spank any more, he could at least make love to me. Right?

Wrong. He apparently worked up an appetite reddening my posterior and it just couldn’t wait.

It took me several minutes to get composed again. I mean really! I was in no shape, physically or mentally, to go to a restaurant.

But go we did, eventually. Randy selected a fairly upscale Italian establishment. I felt a little under-dressed, but by this point, that was the least of my reasons for being self-conscious.

As I was enjoying my salad, Randy bent across the table and whispered, “Can you still feel the burn?”

Of course I could and I told him so.

“Good. Now, slide your skirt out from beneath you and sit right down on the seat.”

“Huh?” I knew exactly what he was requesting, but I didn’t especially want to do it.

“Put your bare ass on the seat.” Now he was speaking loudly enough to make me uneasy. Rather than risk a more graphic public explanation, I clandestinely hoisted my long skirt to allow my freshly paddled flesh to rest directly on the vinyl seat. Fortunately, our booth was positioned such that no one could see what I had done.

We shared an excellent dinner, despite my squirming. Randy smiled and I couldn’t help laughing a bit at this latest predicament he had concocted.

Despite Randy’s urging, I opted to pass on dessert. Later, as we were walking through the dimly illuminated parking lot, he stopped in his tracks. Instinctively, I halted as well. He hugged me tightly as only a lover can. We kissed. As he pulled me close with one hand, the other reached down to squeeze my sore globes.

“I love you, Bon.”

“I love you too.”

“You know when we get home that I’m going to have to spank you all over again?”

“Yeah, that’s part of why I love you…”

We kissed again, a bit more briefly this time, before getting back in the car.

Once safely at home, we returned to the scene of the crime. This time, Randy asked me to strip. I gladly complied. He sat on the side of the bed and coaxed me across his lap. Once settled into this classic corporal punishment pose and totally nude, I was ready for anything. Anything but the hairbrush, that is.

Ow! Ow! Ow! I couldn’t help crying out. The solid wood back of the brush offended my skin like nothing else. My bottom burned with each mounting strike. This rapid assault was more than I wanted, but I probably would have been disappointed had it stopped when I began to rant.

Randy has a sixth sense about judging my state. Years of practice and observation have honed his skills in assessing when I am thoroughly spanked. By the time he let me up, I was almost breathless and begged him to let me get a drink of water. He casually gestured toward our bathroom and I didn’t wait for a second invitation.

While in the bathroom, I couldn’t resist admiring my ruby red cheeks. They looked very attractive indeed.

Back in the bedroom, we moved on to other adult pastimes. I began by wrapping my lips around his mighty Excalibur. He groaned with pleasure as I displayed my gentle gratitude. Next, he pinned me to the bed in a glorious junction. Finally, the last of my residual apprehension dissipated in blissful embrace. Ah…

So, yes, I did get two spankings as promised, but they were really good ones.

A Milestone Two-fer

We have two fun milestones to celebrate today. One is yours and one is mine.

Earlier today, MBS recorded its six millionth page visit. Thank you! I appreciate your continuing support more than words can express.

This post is also number one thousand. I never imagined this day would come, but here we are.

This second milestone could never have been achieved but for all of the wonderful people responsible for the first one. Even now, your comments, e-mails, and, yes, your clicks inspire me.

Speaking of inspiration, I've been promised two spankings tonight! If I can sit tomorrow, I hope to tell you all about it.

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Dec 7

Our topic of the week was the positives and negatives of publishing a spanking-oriented blog. Here are your thoughts.

Greenwoman: I love my blogs. I think the greatest reward I get from my writing is the joy I experience from inspiration and the creative process. It feels good to feel that zing going through me when words suddenly start tumbling about my head forming sentences almost faster than I can write them.

I love the conversation that is often generated from posts I write. It makes my day to hear others speak about their own lives and how my writing might have touched them or stimulated memories. That's really fun.

I think that some people in my life find my writing uncomfortable at times. Mostly, though, I think that it has only been a positive impact. It’s an outlet for my creative process, for my feelings, and for a little socialization too sometimes. The moments when there's a negative are few and far between and I find there are no lasting negatives because I'm an adult and they are too and there's nothing to be all embarrassed about. It’s just spanking and erotic feelings.

Fanny: I write a blog about sexual issues, but it's not a spanking blog. I'd like for it to be, but friends read it who would be shocked if I talked about spanking. I've considered starting a new blog that is about spanking and domestic discipline and not give away my authorship. If I do start one, I'll let you know and you can list it with your other new ones. I love your list of new spanking bloggers and I check out all of them!

Fanny, when you’re ready, you can count on a link from MBS.

Lee: Before now, time, and relationship situations prevented me from starting a blog. I found your blog as an undergrad who takes around 18 credit hours and works three part-time jobs. I just didn't have the time to publish. I also have not been a relationship until recently and had no experiences to share (although I did think about publishing some of my fictional work).

Now that I'm about to graduate, I have accepted a fairly prestigious job where any kind of whiff of a sexual-themed blog would ruin my career. In fact, my vanilla blog that does not share any type of "questionable" material (sexual or otherwise) is currently in question. I don't want to take the risk because the people I'm about to work for take this stuff pretty seriously.

Lee, I occasionally share anonymous guest posts if that outlet is ever of interest.

Andrades: Finally, here’s a question from one of your brunches that I can actually answer. Even though it may not look like it yet, I am actually writing a spanko blog. I am really enjoying the experience. I have already "met" such wonderful and supportive people, and I really need them at this juncture in my life. For me, one of the plusses of blogging is the creative part. It’s kind of like easy scrapbooking for spankos! I love all of the pictures that my fellow bloggers post, and I like searching for all of those beautiful spanking pictures. I am married, but my husband doesn’t know about my interest in spanking yet. But hopefully, one day soon, he will, and I can join in some of your other Sunday brunches.

BTW, I love your blog, it is sooo complex and there is so much to read and learn here. I have even gone wayyyy back and read your first posts. So, I sure do have a lot of reading to catch up on. Thanks for all you do to support the spanking community. Oh, and to answer another of your questions, I guess the only negative for me is that I still worry about privacy, so I am trying to be very careful on my blog

Andrades Girl, you’re linked! Thank you for your kind words about the blog.

M:e: I wouldn't call mine a spanking blog. It’s more one of sharing different aspects of me as I go through the world as a submissive woman.

How much D/s content appears there depends largely on M, but also on what else is going on in my life. Sometimes, I use it to ‘process.’ Sometimes, as Greenwoman says, it’s just because I enjoy writing and for some socialisation and a bit of R&R.

Ronnie: I am a very much a blogging newbie. I always read and love your brunches, but this is the first time I have left a comment. I’m not sure why I didn’t before. I can't believe how much, after only a short time, I am enjoying the experience of being able to join a community that understands. I also appreciate the support I have received and, of course, reading all of the other blogs.

I am not sure how much it will have an impact on my life, but think it will be good for me.

On the negative side, I probably would say not being able to tell friends and family about my blog. They would not understand and I know some of them would be very shocked. It’s a shame.

Eliane: I started writing my blog just for myself really. It was meant to help me think through things that I couldn't really talk about with other people. This aspect is still a large part of it, but I also now enjoy the comments, the interaction, and the fact that some of the people who comment are now real life friends :-)

I think blogging impacts the rest of my life in that it probably allows me an outlet to deal with my spanko side that I wouldn't have had before. Even though I don't claim to be a good writer, it is also something of a personal victory, as I found "creative" writing very hard when I was at school.

If there is a negative to blogging, I've yet to discover it. That will probably come on the day I forget to be so careful and someone who knows me in "real life" guesses who I am ;-)

Smudge: I agree with Eliane. I think the best part of blogging is interacting with other people, and that some of them are now friends in real life :-) And I like the creativeness, because I've never really written anything before and it's heaps of fun. I am also fond of the openness and the level of support.

The only negative I've really found with blogging is that I get quite a few creepy emails. It's great to talk with readers, and most of them are absolutely lovely, but when some random person with whom you've never spoken sends an email describing his sexual fantasies and how you feature in them, that's a little bit unsettling. This is especially true when they keep at it for ages and get stressed if you don't reply.

Girl: This is a very big question for me. I started Reformations years ago, but what few people know unless they look through the archives is that Reformations actually started life as "A Parallel Mind." That blog tragically had to be deleted, though I saved all the posts.

I started blogging as a neat hobby that turned into one of the few ways I could get through my teen years. Now I do it because it is cathartic, but also because it’s a way of jotting down important thoughts I need to work through, recognize, or otherwise deal with. I enjoy blogging too, and love using it as a means for procrastination. It’s arguably my most frequent hobby.

Blogging about spanking comes naturally to me as it has always been important in my life, even more so as I have a dominant person in my life now.

Blogging is also a lovely way of preserving memory.

Roissy Fille: I got as far as setting up a blog but have not yet written anything in it. It's partly because I'm not quite au fait with the technology (simple though it might be) and partly because, if I'm honest, I'm not sure if I feel brave enough to take the leap into sharing my innermosts with everyone on a regular basis. With that said, I do read you and many on your blogroll avidly. If I'm moved to comment, I feel OK about doing that. The interesting thing is that sometimes when I'm adding a comment to these excellent blogs, a lot of personal stuff comes out and I start thinking that maybe I should be blogging about it myself. Who knows? I might just get it together to do so and if I do you can take credit for inspiring me :-)

Spanky: My blog is about my life with my spanko wife Kallisto, which obviously does include some spanking, but there are other things too. To paraphrase Monty Python, it's like "spanking egg sausage and spanking, that's not got much spanking in it." So I'm not sure it qualifies as a purely "spanking-oriented blog."

I think what I enjoy most about blogging is meeting people and getting comments from those who say they enjoy reading what I write. That does happen sometimes.

The biggest negative about blogging by far is the amount of time that I spend on it, which could probably be better spent doing something else. However, I wouldn't say the blog negatively impacts the rest of my life. Although it would if anyone I knew found out about it.

Hermione: My spanking blog is very important to me. I love to read similar blogs and interact with other bloggers, and there came a time when commenting on other blogs just wasn't enough.

I'm so glad I started my own blog. I've never had so much fun! I have made many wonderful cyber-friends with the same interest in spanking. I'm constantly amazed at the number of people who find their way to my blog each day, and am always pleased when a reader lets me know I've touched a chord.

It's a wonderful creative outlet. I'm constantly on the lookout for spanking-related ideas that I can talk about on my blog, and the possibilities seem endless. My posts are cheerful, upbeat and positive. I won't write about anything negative or unpleasant unless there's a happy ending.

My blog is mine alone. I don't have to defer to anyone's wishes or follow someone else's recommendations. It's a place for my inner child to play, have fun, be creative, and even run with scissors.

Negatives? I am usually preoccupied with thinking about topics for posts. When you have a hammer, everything looks like a nail, and when you have a blog, everything turns into a mental post. The other downside is that, like my enthusiasm for spanking, the blog is a secret I can't reveal to anyone.

You know, this would make a great topic for a post.

morningstar: Yes, I have a blog. Would I call it a spanking blog? 75% of the time, I do discuss some form of spanking, but there’s also D/s and BDSM.

But, you know? After 940 posts, you kind of run out of new ways to write “he spanked/flogged/cropped me last night, and the sex was great...” Because my life is more than spanking, some days, I write about my stuff.

Like everyone, I had a reason to start it. I had been reading blogs online for a while and so many of them sounded like fairy tales where nothing ever went wrong. They always lived "happily ever after." Then I came across two or three blogs that were, to me, more real. Things didn't always go right. So I decided that it was OK to write a truthful blog.

Once started, it became an outlet for my thoughts, feelings, and opinions (and dear God, I do have a lot of those – opinions, I mean).

As far as negative side, I can't say there is a serious negative. Sir says that I stress over writing a blog some days. And I guess I do. But most days, there is no stress. The words tumble from my fingers on to the screen. I have learned an important lesson. I write for me. I don’t worry about stats, who reads, who doesn't, who comments, or who doesn't.

My lil blog has evolved into a not-so-private diary, and I enjoy the writing...

Jflame: This is an interesting topic, and now I'm actually qualified to comment.

I started my blog last week and it is most definitely about spanking.

What I most enjoy about blogging is the fact that people from other countries read it and that is sooo cool. There's also the fact that my Dom is very proud of me for doing so.

The biggest negative for me would be the nasty comments from cowards who will not leave their name. Even though I only have nine posts, I got a really negative comment the other day and it really upset me.

How is blogging impacting my life?
Well it takes up a lot of time.
I've made some new friends.
My spelling is improving.
I'm learning new things.
And it’s great fun.

Thoughtful Spanker: I do have a blog about spanking. It’s themed around my thoughts and what makes me think about spanking. I also use it as a outlet for my creative side. I post original stories that I've written or am in the process of writing.

Negatives? There’s only big one really. I tend to feel duty bound to post every day. Sometimes, real life or writers block interfere and I can't post. I actually feel guilty for not posting.

Thomas: I have two spanking blogs, though only one is truly "mine." The other is only mine in the strict legal concept of ownership. It's intended to be a shared blog where several spanko blogging friends promote their own blog musings.

The best part about my own blog, other than feeding my need to be a spanking exhibitionist, is the feedback that I get from my readers, whether it's in the form of comments, or private messages. When someone says that they look forward to certain features, or that an essay I wrote helped them get started in the spanking scene, it gives me a sense of pride.

It comes with some drawbacks, though. Posting regularly means that I have to take time away from other online activities. This is especially problematic now that my online time is limited. Plus, there are times when the dreaded "Anonymous" poster shows up to belittle or berate me or my lifestyle choices. Even though my blog is moderated, so the worst of these never see print, I still have to read their nonsense. I still post some of these, simply for the satisfaction of refuting them.

As for my other blog, the Spanking Bloggers Network, my greatest satisfaction comes from bringing new readers to all of the member blogs. Having been recently linked here on Bonnie's blog, our visits have jumped up in number. Unfortunately, we still have only four members, but hope to add more in the future.

Michelle: I have a mundane blog that I use to keep up with friends and family. I never talk about spanking there. I don't even have it listed in my interests nor do I subscribe to any spanking/other lists of a sexual nature. I really don't need my folks, in-laws, and sister knowing that much about my private life.

I'm also a federal employee. The odds of me losing my job over having a blog where I talk about spanking are slender, but not non-existent. I would hate to lose my job, which I love, because someone found my spanking blog.

I feel comfortable posting here, because my name is common enough that it would take some serious research to connect the dots and find out who I really am.

I'd love to talk about spanking more. I’d like to discuss how one deals with a partner who isn't as into it as much and thus gives fewer spankings than desired. I would also consider how one balances being a feminist and enjoying receiving corporal punishment (which Bonnie did very nicely a few weeks back). But the risk is just too much. I value my privacy too much to do more than comment here.

Michelle, if you would ever feel comfortable contributing an anonymous guest post for MBS, I can arrange that.

Paul: I suppose one day I'll get around to writing and publishing my own blog. But I enjoy reading and commenting on other blogs. The comments here are very interesting.

Our Bottoms Burn: We enjoy sharing a part of our lives with others and getting support and viewpoints from others.

The downside is never being as creative as you are, Bonnie.

Thanks, B & B!

Padme: I have a blog, although it's not just about spanking. My blog is mostly a diary about my life. Sometimes, there are spanking pictures or talk, but that's not what my blog is all about. I tried to have a strictly spanking blog, but I found it to be too much work. I'd rather use it as a way of expressing myself and connecting with other people.

The biggest negative about blogging is the time that it takes. I feel guilty if I go a few days without blogging. Sometimes, I feel like I should be doing other things rather than blogging.

I enjoy being able to meet new friends or being able to have fun with my blog too. Blogging has impacted my life a lot as well as my Master's. It's become a part of me and I don't see myself giving it up for a long time.

Daisy: No, I don't have a blog. I have a big mouth and would be sure to post so much about my life, albeit under an assumed name, that it would be impossible for people who knew me to not know it was me! Already, I have given so much away at various times. Oops! I would be mortified if anyone knew. My kids would be horrified, and my job would be on the line.
No, this suits me fine. I enjoy supporting you bloggers whose work lights and enhances my life. Thank you all!

Tom: We have a blog about out lives, and since we have spanking as a major aspect of our lives, it includes spanking. I say "we" when, in fact, I should say, my swan. She posts at least 95% of what is shared there with t and I as occasional contributors.

I ordered swan to start the blog about three and a half years ago. She was feeling isolated and depressed in her life as slave in a fMf poly triad intentional family. The greatest boon that our blog has provided us is a community of likeminded folks on the Internet and even some local people with whom we've occasionally been able to connect socially. Additionally, I think the bibliotherapeutic aspects of swan's writing have helped her through some tough times emotionally.

Drawbacks have involved occasionally locking into an abusive or exploitive relationship online, one or two of which we've allowed into our lives in real time. But it is long known you cannot have relationships without being hurt sometimes.

All in all, we love our blog, and particularly the people who have been kind enough to read there, take our lives to heart, and share theirs with us.

Jean Marie: I don't have a blog.

I have several issues. Though I love to write, especially about the many spankings I get and the fantasies about even more severe ones that I crave, I don't have time to blog. I'm a school teacher who puts in long hours, even on weekends.

No one except my lover knows my kinky side. Here in the South, I could be fired for behavior so scandalous. My colleagues would be dumbfounded to know that the outspoken feminist in their midst was a submissive spanko with a cherry red butt.

I long for the communication that my blogging would bring. My boyfriend is a phenomenal top, but not the most articulate. He's more the Neanderthal type who drags me by the hair to the bedroom where he has his way with me seven ways from Sunday on a regular basis (Oooh, when he reads this, I'm gonna get such a blistering...).

Robin: I write because I need to get the words and thoughts out of my head. I blog because it is a way for me to connect with others who are maybe experiencing or have experienced similar things. We can share and learn from one another.

The main topics are spankings, sex, D/s, and my relationship. Well, those aren't things generally brought up in 'polite' conversation and sometimes I just need to get everything out – the good and the bad – and blogging allows that. It makes what I'm experiencing and thinking more real.

On the negative side, it can be time consuming. I can get into a 'dead zone' where I just can’t get any words out. Most of all, my husband just doesn't get it – the reading, the writing, and the sharing. Most times, he just lets it go. But occasionally, I feel I am defending myself and my blogging activities.

But because I've experienced so much good from blogging, I don't think I'd ever be able to give it up now.

Prefectdt: "What is it about blogging that you enjoy?"

I'm pretty isolated (geographically) as far as having a day-to-day kinky community to just chat about things. The blog, although not as good as seeing people face to face, goes a long way towards filling that gap. It is also a great way to communicate with people all over the world.

"What is the biggest negative?"

Time! It is always a fight to find the time to blog, comment on other blogs and especially, keep up with the e-mails (some people have been waiting for months for a reply from me).

"How does blogging impact the rest of your life?"

It helps me to feel a lot less isolated from the rest of the spanking world.

Sara: That’s a good question, Bonnie! I answered on my blog, Finding Sara. Thanks for the inspiration!

Thank you, Sara, for sharing your wisdom.

Dr. Ken: Yes, I have a blog. It's called Spanking Minnesota (I'm a Spanker, I live in Minnesota – put the two together and you get a blog name).

It's MOSTLY about spanking, but I try not to limit myself to that. There have been days when I've written about sports, or posted a picture with a (hopefully) comedic caption that I made up, or wrote a song parody.

I don't have a regular spanking partner, so the blog can't be about my "daily experiences." The overall theme of the blog is "fun," and the best part are the times when my creativity kicks into gear and lets me do something a little different.

For me, the only negative is the feeling I sometimes get that I HAVE TO POST something. I don't have a regular posting schedule, so things go up when I feel like it. But if I haven't put anything up for a few days, I start to put pressure on myself to do something – and that's not conducive to a good entry.

As for how blogging makes an impact on my life, it has let me develop some very nice blog friends, people I never would have come across or heard of otherwise. I comment on their blogs, they comment on mine, I comment on their comments... It's just very enjoyable.

Xan: I am really new to adult spanking and blogging. Blogging helps me figure out what I am really feeling and thinking about spanking. Reading other blogs about spanking makes me feel more a part of this new world I've joined.

Bonnie: As a matter of fact, I do publish a spanking-oriented blog. When I started this blog, I was looking primarily for an outlet for my writing. When one’s favorite topic is adult spanking, there aren’t very many conventional distribution channels. I was delighted, initially by the creative freedom and soon thereafter by the incredibly supportive community I had joined.

I enjoy being able to choose the topic, how it will be presented, and when it will go to press. As someone with a journalism background, these are rare luxuries. Better still is the almost instantaneous feedback.

At an entirely different level, I treasure the human relationships we have developed over the past three plus years. Beyond what you see here, I have corresponded with hundreds of spanking enthusiasts. We share ideas, suggestions, problems, and advice. I have comforted and been comforted. I have encouraged and been encouraged. As I’ve said before, I believe I would have stopped blogging long ago were it not for the wonderful people I’ve met.

As for the negative side, as others said, it’s the time requirements. For a couple of years, I tried to post every day, answer all of the mail, visit other blogs, respond to comments, and maintain a huge blogroll. I enjoyed being so productive, but over time, it became unsustainable. Now I post less frequently and share fewer stories. This is an uneasy compromise, but it has extended my longevity as a blogger.

The impact of blogging on the rest of our lives was something I didn’t fully anticipate. Writing and reading about erotic spankings frequently reignites the sexual flames for Randy and me. Retelling a good story makes it somehow more real. Reading of others’ successes inspires more innovation. These effects have helped to keep our marriage lively and fun.

Thank you to everyone who joined us for brunch and contributed to this great discussion. I hope you'll check in again next Sunday.

MBS Spanko Brunch #151

Shopping days? I need a few sleeping days! It's mighty early to be sick of the holiday season, but I'm getting close. However, it's nothing that a tasty brunch and a chat with good friends won't fix.

Welcome to our weekly spanko brunch. This week's topic was inspired by a reader question. It deals with spanking and blogging and blogging about spanking.

Do you publish a spanking-oriented blog? If so, what is it about blogging that you enjoy? What is the biggest negative? How does blogging impact the rest of your life? If you don't have a spanko blog, what prevents you from doing so? Under what conditions would you consider blogging?

If you would like to join our conversation, you can leave a comment below. Once everyone has had a chance to speak, I will post an edited summary.