Sunday, December 07, 2008

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Dec 7

Our topic of the week was the positives and negatives of publishing a spanking-oriented blog. Here are your thoughts.

Greenwoman: I love my blogs. I think the greatest reward I get from my writing is the joy I experience from inspiration and the creative process. It feels good to feel that zing going through me when words suddenly start tumbling about my head forming sentences almost faster than I can write them.

I love the conversation that is often generated from posts I write. It makes my day to hear others speak about their own lives and how my writing might have touched them or stimulated memories. That's really fun.

I think that some people in my life find my writing uncomfortable at times. Mostly, though, I think that it has only been a positive impact. It’s an outlet for my creative process, for my feelings, and for a little socialization too sometimes. The moments when there's a negative are few and far between and I find there are no lasting negatives because I'm an adult and they are too and there's nothing to be all embarrassed about. It’s just spanking and erotic feelings.

Fanny: I write a blog about sexual issues, but it's not a spanking blog. I'd like for it to be, but friends read it who would be shocked if I talked about spanking. I've considered starting a new blog that is about spanking and domestic discipline and not give away my authorship. If I do start one, I'll let you know and you can list it with your other new ones. I love your list of new spanking bloggers and I check out all of them!

Fanny, when you’re ready, you can count on a link from MBS.

Lee: Before now, time, and relationship situations prevented me from starting a blog. I found your blog as an undergrad who takes around 18 credit hours and works three part-time jobs. I just didn't have the time to publish. I also have not been a relationship until recently and had no experiences to share (although I did think about publishing some of my fictional work).

Now that I'm about to graduate, I have accepted a fairly prestigious job where any kind of whiff of a sexual-themed blog would ruin my career. In fact, my vanilla blog that does not share any type of "questionable" material (sexual or otherwise) is currently in question. I don't want to take the risk because the people I'm about to work for take this stuff pretty seriously.

Lee, I occasionally share anonymous guest posts if that outlet is ever of interest.

Andrades: Finally, here’s a question from one of your brunches that I can actually answer. Even though it may not look like it yet, I am actually writing a spanko blog. I am really enjoying the experience. I have already "met" such wonderful and supportive people, and I really need them at this juncture in my life. For me, one of the plusses of blogging is the creative part. It’s kind of like easy scrapbooking for spankos! I love all of the pictures that my fellow bloggers post, and I like searching for all of those beautiful spanking pictures. I am married, but my husband doesn’t know about my interest in spanking yet. But hopefully, one day soon, he will, and I can join in some of your other Sunday brunches.

BTW, I love your blog, it is sooo complex and there is so much to read and learn here. I have even gone wayyyy back and read your first posts. So, I sure do have a lot of reading to catch up on. Thanks for all you do to support the spanking community. Oh, and to answer another of your questions, I guess the only negative for me is that I still worry about privacy, so I am trying to be very careful on my blog

Andrades Girl, you’re linked! Thank you for your kind words about the blog.

M:e: I wouldn't call mine a spanking blog. It’s more one of sharing different aspects of me as I go through the world as a submissive woman.

How much D/s content appears there depends largely on M, but also on what else is going on in my life. Sometimes, I use it to ‘process.’ Sometimes, as Greenwoman says, it’s just because I enjoy writing and for some socialisation and a bit of R&R.

Ronnie: I am a very much a blogging newbie. I always read and love your brunches, but this is the first time I have left a comment. I’m not sure why I didn’t before. I can't believe how much, after only a short time, I am enjoying the experience of being able to join a community that understands. I also appreciate the support I have received and, of course, reading all of the other blogs.

I am not sure how much it will have an impact on my life, but think it will be good for me.

On the negative side, I probably would say not being able to tell friends and family about my blog. They would not understand and I know some of them would be very shocked. It’s a shame.

Eliane: I started writing my blog just for myself really. It was meant to help me think through things that I couldn't really talk about with other people. This aspect is still a large part of it, but I also now enjoy the comments, the interaction, and the fact that some of the people who comment are now real life friends :-)

I think blogging impacts the rest of my life in that it probably allows me an outlet to deal with my spanko side that I wouldn't have had before. Even though I don't claim to be a good writer, it is also something of a personal victory, as I found "creative" writing very hard when I was at school.

If there is a negative to blogging, I've yet to discover it. That will probably come on the day I forget to be so careful and someone who knows me in "real life" guesses who I am ;-)

Smudge: I agree with Eliane. I think the best part of blogging is interacting with other people, and that some of them are now friends in real life :-) And I like the creativeness, because I've never really written anything before and it's heaps of fun. I am also fond of the openness and the level of support.

The only negative I've really found with blogging is that I get quite a few creepy emails. It's great to talk with readers, and most of them are absolutely lovely, but when some random person with whom you've never spoken sends an email describing his sexual fantasies and how you feature in them, that's a little bit unsettling. This is especially true when they keep at it for ages and get stressed if you don't reply.

Girl: This is a very big question for me. I started Reformations years ago, but what few people know unless they look through the archives is that Reformations actually started life as "A Parallel Mind." That blog tragically had to be deleted, though I saved all the posts.

I started blogging as a neat hobby that turned into one of the few ways I could get through my teen years. Now I do it because it is cathartic, but also because it’s a way of jotting down important thoughts I need to work through, recognize, or otherwise deal with. I enjoy blogging too, and love using it as a means for procrastination. It’s arguably my most frequent hobby.

Blogging about spanking comes naturally to me as it has always been important in my life, even more so as I have a dominant person in my life now.

Blogging is also a lovely way of preserving memory.

Roissy Fille: I got as far as setting up a blog but have not yet written anything in it. It's partly because I'm not quite au fait with the technology (simple though it might be) and partly because, if I'm honest, I'm not sure if I feel brave enough to take the leap into sharing my innermosts with everyone on a regular basis. With that said, I do read you and many on your blogroll avidly. If I'm moved to comment, I feel OK about doing that. The interesting thing is that sometimes when I'm adding a comment to these excellent blogs, a lot of personal stuff comes out and I start thinking that maybe I should be blogging about it myself. Who knows? I might just get it together to do so and if I do you can take credit for inspiring me :-)

Spanky: My blog is about my life with my spanko wife Kallisto, which obviously does include some spanking, but there are other things too. To paraphrase Monty Python, it's like "spanking egg sausage and spanking, that's not got much spanking in it." So I'm not sure it qualifies as a purely "spanking-oriented blog."

I think what I enjoy most about blogging is meeting people and getting comments from those who say they enjoy reading what I write. That does happen sometimes.

The biggest negative about blogging by far is the amount of time that I spend on it, which could probably be better spent doing something else. However, I wouldn't say the blog negatively impacts the rest of my life. Although it would if anyone I knew found out about it.

Hermione: My spanking blog is very important to me. I love to read similar blogs and interact with other bloggers, and there came a time when commenting on other blogs just wasn't enough.

I'm so glad I started my own blog. I've never had so much fun! I have made many wonderful cyber-friends with the same interest in spanking. I'm constantly amazed at the number of people who find their way to my blog each day, and am always pleased when a reader lets me know I've touched a chord.

It's a wonderful creative outlet. I'm constantly on the lookout for spanking-related ideas that I can talk about on my blog, and the possibilities seem endless. My posts are cheerful, upbeat and positive. I won't write about anything negative or unpleasant unless there's a happy ending.

My blog is mine alone. I don't have to defer to anyone's wishes or follow someone else's recommendations. It's a place for my inner child to play, have fun, be creative, and even run with scissors.

Negatives? I am usually preoccupied with thinking about topics for posts. When you have a hammer, everything looks like a nail, and when you have a blog, everything turns into a mental post. The other downside is that, like my enthusiasm for spanking, the blog is a secret I can't reveal to anyone.

You know, this would make a great topic for a post.

morningstar: Yes, I have a blog. Would I call it a spanking blog? 75% of the time, I do discuss some form of spanking, but there’s also D/s and BDSM.

But, you know? After 940 posts, you kind of run out of new ways to write “he spanked/flogged/cropped me last night, and the sex was great...” Because my life is more than spanking, some days, I write about my stuff.

Like everyone, I had a reason to start it. I had been reading blogs online for a while and so many of them sounded like fairy tales where nothing ever went wrong. They always lived "happily ever after." Then I came across two or three blogs that were, to me, more real. Things didn't always go right. So I decided that it was OK to write a truthful blog.

Once started, it became an outlet for my thoughts, feelings, and opinions (and dear God, I do have a lot of those – opinions, I mean).

As far as negative side, I can't say there is a serious negative. Sir says that I stress over writing a blog some days. And I guess I do. But most days, there is no stress. The words tumble from my fingers on to the screen. I have learned an important lesson. I write for me. I don’t worry about stats, who reads, who doesn't, who comments, or who doesn't.

My lil blog has evolved into a not-so-private diary, and I enjoy the writing...

Jflame: This is an interesting topic, and now I'm actually qualified to comment.

I started my blog last week and it is most definitely about spanking.

What I most enjoy about blogging is the fact that people from other countries read it and that is sooo cool. There's also the fact that my Dom is very proud of me for doing so.

The biggest negative for me would be the nasty comments from cowards who will not leave their name. Even though I only have nine posts, I got a really negative comment the other day and it really upset me.

How is blogging impacting my life?
Well it takes up a lot of time.
I've made some new friends.
My spelling is improving.
I'm learning new things.
And it’s great fun.

Thoughtful Spanker: I do have a blog about spanking. It’s themed around my thoughts and what makes me think about spanking. I also use it as a outlet for my creative side. I post original stories that I've written or am in the process of writing.

Negatives? There’s only big one really. I tend to feel duty bound to post every day. Sometimes, real life or writers block interfere and I can't post. I actually feel guilty for not posting.

Thomas: I have two spanking blogs, though only one is truly "mine." The other is only mine in the strict legal concept of ownership. It's intended to be a shared blog where several spanko blogging friends promote their own blog musings.

The best part about my own blog, other than feeding my need to be a spanking exhibitionist, is the feedback that I get from my readers, whether it's in the form of comments, or private messages. When someone says that they look forward to certain features, or that an essay I wrote helped them get started in the spanking scene, it gives me a sense of pride.

It comes with some drawbacks, though. Posting regularly means that I have to take time away from other online activities. This is especially problematic now that my online time is limited. Plus, there are times when the dreaded "Anonymous" poster shows up to belittle or berate me or my lifestyle choices. Even though my blog is moderated, so the worst of these never see print, I still have to read their nonsense. I still post some of these, simply for the satisfaction of refuting them.

As for my other blog, the Spanking Bloggers Network, my greatest satisfaction comes from bringing new readers to all of the member blogs. Having been recently linked here on Bonnie's blog, our visits have jumped up in number. Unfortunately, we still have only four members, but hope to add more in the future.

Michelle: I have a mundane blog that I use to keep up with friends and family. I never talk about spanking there. I don't even have it listed in my interests nor do I subscribe to any spanking/other lists of a sexual nature. I really don't need my folks, in-laws, and sister knowing that much about my private life.

I'm also a federal employee. The odds of me losing my job over having a blog where I talk about spanking are slender, but not non-existent. I would hate to lose my job, which I love, because someone found my spanking blog.

I feel comfortable posting here, because my name is common enough that it would take some serious research to connect the dots and find out who I really am.

I'd love to talk about spanking more. I’d like to discuss how one deals with a partner who isn't as into it as much and thus gives fewer spankings than desired. I would also consider how one balances being a feminist and enjoying receiving corporal punishment (which Bonnie did very nicely a few weeks back). But the risk is just too much. I value my privacy too much to do more than comment here.

Michelle, if you would ever feel comfortable contributing an anonymous guest post for MBS, I can arrange that.

Paul: I suppose one day I'll get around to writing and publishing my own blog. But I enjoy reading and commenting on other blogs. The comments here are very interesting.

Our Bottoms Burn: We enjoy sharing a part of our lives with others and getting support and viewpoints from others.

The downside is never being as creative as you are, Bonnie.

Thanks, B & B!

Padme: I have a blog, although it's not just about spanking. My blog is mostly a diary about my life. Sometimes, there are spanking pictures or talk, but that's not what my blog is all about. I tried to have a strictly spanking blog, but I found it to be too much work. I'd rather use it as a way of expressing myself and connecting with other people.

The biggest negative about blogging is the time that it takes. I feel guilty if I go a few days without blogging. Sometimes, I feel like I should be doing other things rather than blogging.

I enjoy being able to meet new friends or being able to have fun with my blog too. Blogging has impacted my life a lot as well as my Master's. It's become a part of me and I don't see myself giving it up for a long time.

Daisy: No, I don't have a blog. I have a big mouth and would be sure to post so much about my life, albeit under an assumed name, that it would be impossible for people who knew me to not know it was me! Already, I have given so much away at various times. Oops! I would be mortified if anyone knew. My kids would be horrified, and my job would be on the line.
No, this suits me fine. I enjoy supporting you bloggers whose work lights and enhances my life. Thank you all!

Tom: We have a blog about out lives, and since we have spanking as a major aspect of our lives, it includes spanking. I say "we" when, in fact, I should say, my swan. She posts at least 95% of what is shared there with t and I as occasional contributors.

I ordered swan to start the blog about three and a half years ago. She was feeling isolated and depressed in her life as slave in a fMf poly triad intentional family. The greatest boon that our blog has provided us is a community of likeminded folks on the Internet and even some local people with whom we've occasionally been able to connect socially. Additionally, I think the bibliotherapeutic aspects of swan's writing have helped her through some tough times emotionally.

Drawbacks have involved occasionally locking into an abusive or exploitive relationship online, one or two of which we've allowed into our lives in real time. But it is long known you cannot have relationships without being hurt sometimes.

All in all, we love our blog, and particularly the people who have been kind enough to read there, take our lives to heart, and share theirs with us.

Jean Marie: I don't have a blog.

I have several issues. Though I love to write, especially about the many spankings I get and the fantasies about even more severe ones that I crave, I don't have time to blog. I'm a school teacher who puts in long hours, even on weekends.

No one except my lover knows my kinky side. Here in the South, I could be fired for behavior so scandalous. My colleagues would be dumbfounded to know that the outspoken feminist in their midst was a submissive spanko with a cherry red butt.

I long for the communication that my blogging would bring. My boyfriend is a phenomenal top, but not the most articulate. He's more the Neanderthal type who drags me by the hair to the bedroom where he has his way with me seven ways from Sunday on a regular basis (Oooh, when he reads this, I'm gonna get such a blistering...).

Robin: I write because I need to get the words and thoughts out of my head. I blog because it is a way for me to connect with others who are maybe experiencing or have experienced similar things. We can share and learn from one another.

The main topics are spankings, sex, D/s, and my relationship. Well, those aren't things generally brought up in 'polite' conversation and sometimes I just need to get everything out – the good and the bad – and blogging allows that. It makes what I'm experiencing and thinking more real.

On the negative side, it can be time consuming. I can get into a 'dead zone' where I just can’t get any words out. Most of all, my husband just doesn't get it – the reading, the writing, and the sharing. Most times, he just lets it go. But occasionally, I feel I am defending myself and my blogging activities.

But because I've experienced so much good from blogging, I don't think I'd ever be able to give it up now.

Prefectdt: "What is it about blogging that you enjoy?"

I'm pretty isolated (geographically) as far as having a day-to-day kinky community to just chat about things. The blog, although not as good as seeing people face to face, goes a long way towards filling that gap. It is also a great way to communicate with people all over the world.

"What is the biggest negative?"

Time! It is always a fight to find the time to blog, comment on other blogs and especially, keep up with the e-mails (some people have been waiting for months for a reply from me).

"How does blogging impact the rest of your life?"

It helps me to feel a lot less isolated from the rest of the spanking world.

Sara: That’s a good question, Bonnie! I answered on my blog, Finding Sara. Thanks for the inspiration!

Thank you, Sara, for sharing your wisdom.

Dr. Ken: Yes, I have a blog. It's called Spanking Minnesota (I'm a Spanker, I live in Minnesota – put the two together and you get a blog name).

It's MOSTLY about spanking, but I try not to limit myself to that. There have been days when I've written about sports, or posted a picture with a (hopefully) comedic caption that I made up, or wrote a song parody.

I don't have a regular spanking partner, so the blog can't be about my "daily experiences." The overall theme of the blog is "fun," and the best part are the times when my creativity kicks into gear and lets me do something a little different.

For me, the only negative is the feeling I sometimes get that I HAVE TO POST something. I don't have a regular posting schedule, so things go up when I feel like it. But if I haven't put anything up for a few days, I start to put pressure on myself to do something – and that's not conducive to a good entry.

As for how blogging makes an impact on my life, it has let me develop some very nice blog friends, people I never would have come across or heard of otherwise. I comment on their blogs, they comment on mine, I comment on their comments... It's just very enjoyable.

Xan: I am really new to adult spanking and blogging. Blogging helps me figure out what I am really feeling and thinking about spanking. Reading other blogs about spanking makes me feel more a part of this new world I've joined.

Bonnie: As a matter of fact, I do publish a spanking-oriented blog. When I started this blog, I was looking primarily for an outlet for my writing. When one’s favorite topic is adult spanking, there aren’t very many conventional distribution channels. I was delighted, initially by the creative freedom and soon thereafter by the incredibly supportive community I had joined.

I enjoy being able to choose the topic, how it will be presented, and when it will go to press. As someone with a journalism background, these are rare luxuries. Better still is the almost instantaneous feedback.

At an entirely different level, I treasure the human relationships we have developed over the past three plus years. Beyond what you see here, I have corresponded with hundreds of spanking enthusiasts. We share ideas, suggestions, problems, and advice. I have comforted and been comforted. I have encouraged and been encouraged. As I’ve said before, I believe I would have stopped blogging long ago were it not for the wonderful people I’ve met.

As for the negative side, as others said, it’s the time requirements. For a couple of years, I tried to post every day, answer all of the mail, visit other blogs, respond to comments, and maintain a huge blogroll. I enjoyed being so productive, but over time, it became unsustainable. Now I post less frequently and share fewer stories. This is an uneasy compromise, but it has extended my longevity as a blogger.

The impact of blogging on the rest of our lives was something I didn’t fully anticipate. Writing and reading about erotic spankings frequently reignites the sexual flames for Randy and me. Retelling a good story makes it somehow more real. Reading of others’ successes inspires more innovation. These effects have helped to keep our marriage lively and fun.

Thank you to everyone who joined us for brunch and contributed to this great discussion. I hope you'll check in again next Sunday.

1 comment :

K said...

Missed brunch again. I hope it's okay to add on late.

I started a blog a few months ago. Spanking was what motivated me to start it, but I don't want to limit it to that. If I had to describe it, I'd say it was a diary of sorts, with the focus on my relationship with Hubby and our sexual adventures, which includes spanking.

I enjoy the sense of comraderie I get from reading the comments and commenting on other blogs. I also love that Hubby takes an interest in my writing. He's hoping to read about my fantasies. We usually have no trouble communicating with each other, but I think blogging can aide in that. When he reads my blog, my thoughts and feelings might come across differently in writing than they did verbally.

I haven't come across any negatives, yet. I suppose time is one, but I don't tie myself to a schedule and force the writing. I go where my muse takes me. It's not the most productive way to be creative, but the creation has more spark when I'm inspired. When the blog seems lacking, Hubby tries to give me inspiration, so that actually works out pretty well.

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