Poll: Meeting Other Spankos

Excluding partners, have you met other spanking enthusiasts in person? Yes No Current Results

In With The New: Thanksgiving Edition

It's been a while since we last introduced great young spanking-oriented blogs, so it's time to remedy that deficiency. Here, for your reading pleasure, are 13 fine blogs to explore and enjoy.

24.7 A Look Inside ABC's of My Life Blistered Butt By Any Other Word Emily Jane, Behave! Growth and Decline I'm Her Husband Lady's Spanking Blog Longing for Discipline Random Perverted Thoughts The Life and Times of Spanko Roomies The Baby Girl

(If I've overlooked other new spanking blogs, please tell me and I will include them as well)

When you visit the blogs presented above, I encourage you to leave a message. New bloggers are typically starved for feedback. They don't know whether they are doing things right or even if anyone is reading. Your support can make the difference between a successful blog and an abandoned effort.

To these new bloggers, allow me to welcome you to our community. I look forward to watching your blogs grow and thrive.

Here are some suggestions I assembled as a guide to enhancing your blog. While it's certainly not the final word, you may find some useful tips.

My Blogging Smarts More Blogging Smarts My Blogging Smarts Again My Blogging Smarts: Balance

I hope you find the spanko blogging experience as rewarding as I have!

Keywords: spanking, spanking blog, spanking blogs, spanking blogger, spanko

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Nov 25

I'm sorry about the delay in posting this recap. All I can say is that things get mighty busy around here at this time of year.

Anyhow, our topic was multiple spankings in one day. Here are your insights and experiences.

Hermione: Alas, I've never had the pleasure. I think the second one would probably be very painful, though. If the first one had been interrupted, or just a taste of things to come, then the second would be a continuation.

Sherie: I have actually received multiple spankings in one day both in the party setting of TASSP and in private when spending the weekend with my favorite guy.

I can see where they might be given in a punishment type setting, but I've only had them in fun.

The one done in private was mainly done just to make sure the "burn" would last me longer because the weekend just seemed to be going by to quickly and I wanted something to last for a while.

I normally have a quick heal rate you might say. No matter how severe the spanking, I don't feel it for very long after unless it is a drawn out building session like this one. The benefit of multiple spankings in the day is that they didn't have to be overly severe. When applied layer over layer, they build a deep soreness that I just love because it helps the feeling hold on much longer than I am used to.

Haron: When I lived alone and got together with my spanko friends for a week or so at a time, we tried to cram in as much spanking as possible. This often turned into two elaborate roleplays a day, plus a minor spanking or two when we were out seeing sites. The pain and bruising didn't start to accumulate until much later in the week, but by day 4 or so, the spankings had to become a bit lighter.

These days, I quite often get two spankings a day, but not every day. Unless it's an extended session with multiple implements, the seconds spanking doesn't feel much different. I recover pretty fast.

When we get together with friends to play school, each student can potentially get into trouble at each of eight or so lessons, plus get detention. Cumulatively, you get sorer as the day progresses, but it's hardly above what a grown-up spanko can take!

Perverted But Friendly: A while back we invented a spanking game, I think we must have been bored! We have only played it once, but I have been “threatened” with it a few times since.

It is a game of chance. We randomly select an implement with a dice, then the number of swats with two dice. We repeat this process until all of the implements have been used. One spanking is delivered every hour on the hour throughout the day. This makes for a total of six spankings for the day.

I think we had hand, leather paddle, flogger, hairbrush, cane and nothing. Nothing means skip a turn. It’s funny how the number of swats seems to come out high with the nastier implements, but low with the softer toys.

The cane came first and miss a turn came second. I can't really remember the order of the rest, but the last spanking was with the hairbrush (which I hate the most) and getting seven swats. As it was the last turn, my partner really made it count.
What sounded like a fun way to spend a Sunday afternoon turned into a bit of an ordeal. All told, I think we counted 32 swats, so it was not that harsh, but it's the drawn out and protracted process that makes it an ordeal. I hate to give in or use the safeword, so I just endured the whole thing. I did rather like the feeling at the end when it was all over. I survived!

Suzy (and Todd): Todd has spanked me more than once a few different times. Usually it happens when we're on vacation and have lots of time and privacy. Those are playful/erotic spankings though, so the first spanking didn't really affect the second one.

At the spanking party we attended, I did get spanked FIVE times in a single day. A couple of those were light spankings, but a few of them were hard. I didn't really feel too much difference though. That was probably because the spankers at the party were very kind about slow warm-ups. I think it would have been a much different story had the spanking been discipline. The later spanking would have hurt much more.

I did notice I was sore the next day though, which almost never happens when I'm just spanked once.

Anon: I experienced twelve in a day, on the hour every hour with a hairbrush on the bare to teach me to be more punctual. By mid-afternoon, I was glued to my watch, as the next re-heating of my poor bottom drew nearer. My timekeeping improved after that!

Paul: As Mel is not here to answer, so I'll draw on my memories.

Certainly Mel never received more than one punishment a day, and very rarely that.

However, Mel loved to go through life with a warm seat. There were the regular nightly good girl spankings. She said a warm butt was the best sleeping potion. Often, there would be a re-heat job in the morning if we had time. Occasionally at lunch time and often in the early evening, she just liked to be warm and know that her cheeks would be nicely flushed. The only full length spankings were the nightly ones.

It kept us surprisingly close.

Lori: Actually, I got two yesterday. Today is my birthday and since the kids were going to be gone last night, my husband decided to give me my birthday spanking. He was in a playful mood, so after the counting was done, he just continued. A couple hours later, he decided I needed another birthday spanking (like I said, he was in a playful mood). The initial couple swats of the second spanking did hurt more than they would have had I not gotten the hairbrush a few hours before but after about five swats, there was no difference. I'm sitting quite gently today though. What a nice birthday.

Frustrated Lurker: I feel I could really benefit from multiple spankings in the same day, or at least during the same 24 hour period. I have a tough butt and the only time a spanking really hurts is if I'm still feeling the last one. I'm afraid to tell my fiance this though. I'm too shy, and I also feel that asking to be spanked or critiquing kind of upsets the dynamic I need...

BB: I’ve gotten more then two in a 24 hour period. When S and I got together the first time, I got spanked for well over an hou, and then several other times that night and the next morning. All of them were fun playful spankings, but they all added up after awhile.

A different time, I got a punishment spanking that really hurt a lot. Then a couple hours later, I got a fun spanking. The fun spanking hurt more than it usually would have, but it still was fun.

S is kind and gentle, but firm when it’s a discipline spanking. But he is always very gentle afterwards, even though he still spanks for fun.

Lucy:Jekyll and I haven't seen each other in several months and I've earned a severe punishment spanking since I last saw him. When we see each other again, I will likely get my punishment spanking and erotic spanking in the same day. Jekyll doesn't like to spank me for long periods of time, so my punishment may be broken up into two sessions as well. I think that two spankings in one day will help me remember to not engage in certain behavior and will help make up for several months without spanking.

Ollie: As with one of the other posters, I once gave myself a series throughout the day.
I'd bought a bundle of 20 bamboo canes, and in an effort to see which would be the most effective, I sentenced myself to 12 with each, on the half hour.

As the other poster said, the effect was to leave one clock watching.

The bruising did last a while and I had to think up a feeble excuse for it when my wife saw the effects a few days later.

David: Lots of times I spank Mthc on the weekends throughout the day until it leads up to the grand one.

Jeana: Since we are both in grad school with full time jobs as well, most of our playtime is limited to the weekends. So yes, I have received more than one spanking in a day. They are all erotic, so it is not really a big deal. Plus, he doesn't normally spank as hard as I wish he did, so I am normally glad to do it again even if it is the same day.

Mary: Our limited time OFTEN leads to more than one spanking during the days we are together. Most often, it is a mixture of a punishment spanking and an erotic one. Occasionally, there are two punishment spankings, but generally only if there is more than one type of infraction that needs to be dealt with and he (and I) want the spankings to be separated for a purpose.

My bulleted thoughts on the topic are:

• If the first was hard enough to cause bruising, the second one hurts A LOT more.
• If there are no bruises, then the second is a wonderful reheating of the bottom and it feels like a good thing.
• I am glad that I am not punished for the same thing repeatedly (Like every hour repeatedly for the same offense). I can see how it works - but I think I would be crushed. The best part about being spanked is the reassuring hugs and being told it is all over and I am a good girl now. Dragging it out like that would be emotionally difficult. I am glad that is not his usual style.

Oh and Paul, I have to agree with Mel that a warm bottom is a great sleeping potion (However, I have been spanked so hard that my tender bottom has awakened me a couple of times during the night, but I had pushed the limits to earn that one.)

There is one thing I especially love when my bottom is sore. I love it when he gives a little squeeze while giving a hug later in the day. I get butterflies every time!

Radha: We go through cycles of intensity. Some weekends or weeknights, there will be several spankings that get me all sweaty and panting. But then, we'll have a week or so with not so much as a goodnight pat. Multiple spankings lead to multiple highs. Life is good.

Cassie: I have often been spanked twice in a day and usually, it is very fun and playful. I am quite happy with that most of the time.

But I have had more that one serious spanking in a day too. Most of them were long ago, thank goodness! He was always so darn serious about that ladylike business! It did take me a while to get the hang of that (to his satisfaction!).

Daddy’s Girl: I have not been spanked twice in a day yet. However, I feel that may change in the near future as mine also is very serious about me being more ladylike. Since we don't get to see each other very often, I have a feeling twice in one day is coming soon.

Jean Marie: I work hard as a school teacher Monday through Friday so that I can kick my shoes off at my door on Friday afternoons (usually along with the rest of my clothes), and lounge and relax and play all weekend. I'm proud to say that I often get spanked in a sensual, playful way multiple times daily over the course of most weekends. These fun sessions are always followed by sex. My lover knows how to keep a smile on my face, by keeping my bottom in a constant state of warmed, tingling bliss and sexual arousal.

In my household, however, spankings are not just foreplay. Sometimes, I need to be punished for being a brat or a bitch or both. I'm not so pleased to have to confess that I've often needed to have the spanking of earlier in the day augmented by more serious chastisement later that same day.

Easily the worst and most memorable time was about a year ago, when K and I had been living together for a few months. The newness of the relationship was gone, and so, at a party, I welcomed the advances of a handsome man. I didn't let this stranger kiss me on the mouth, and I fended off his exploring hands, but just smiled at his overtures and enjoyed that his company was upsetting to my lover across the room. I saw this and perpetuated it, liking the fact that K could feel jealous.

It was a quiet car ride home. Once in our bedroom, in his softest voice, K told me to fetch my hairbrush. Instead of sprinting for it like a contrite little submissive, I sauntered, proclaiming by my actions and attitude that I had nothing to feel sorry about. In short order, K made my butt sorry. He whaled the tar out of me! It was by far the hardest, most painful paddling that I've ever received. I tried to blink back the tears. I tried to clinch my jaw to keep from crying out, all to no avail. When it was finally over, he stood me in the corner and left the room. I stayed there, but couldn't keep from rubbing the fire that still smoldered in my bottom, and didn't keep my nose pressed to the wall, preferring to look over my shoulder at the full-length mirror across the room reflecting the most magenta of moons. My flesh had never felt so hot to the touch. I couldn't keep my hands off my derriere, though one did stray occasionally to my erect nipples and clitoris.

K came back twenty minutes later, spanked my exposed buttocks hard several more times, reached around and between my legs to ascertain that I was as wet as my sex usually got after a pleasure-spanking, and finding that I was, bent me over and possessed my vagina from behind. I came repeatedly, but didn't feel satisfied. When his manhood was extracted, I proclaimed, "I didn't do anything wrong..."

"Then I haven't taken you to that place that you need to get to... yet," my lover replied. He got the cane out of our closet. I was made to kneel on the bed, my knees under me and my sore cheeks and anus thrust up vulnerably, my face buried in a pillow. I was told that I'd get twenty before he'd reassess how I was, and that I had to count all twenty aloud. I ended up getting twenty-three licks. They weren't the pink little welts of before; they were angry cuts that reached from hip to hip. K put an ice-pack on my welted, throbbing backside while he lectured.

"My love has conditions," he said. "While you're with me, I consider you mine. If you need to be reminded of that, I'll mark you, as I just did. I won't give you cause to be jealous, and you better not give me cause. Is that understood and agreeable?"

"Yes, sir."

We made love again, this time sweetly, passionately, looking into one another's eyes. And while my dominant softly snored I got up to stare at my vivid welts in the mirror most of the night, feeling complete, subdued, chastened, and loved.

Bonnie: I conceived this question one Saturday afternoon a few weeks ago after just such a session. Randy had worked over my seat quite thoroughly using a leather slapper. It felt warm and stingy and nice, just the way I like it. About an hour later though, he decided that I could benefit from a second dose (I wasn’t hinting, honest - He rarely even gets hints).

Randy proceeded to place me over his lap and cover the very same ground, this time applying the curved handled wooden hairbrush! Eeeyeow! From the first swat, the pain was considerably more intense than usual. By the time he finished, my bottom was very, very sore. Sitting was uncomfortable to say the least.

This pair of spankings did enormous good for my head, if perhaps not my rear. I could still feel a residual ache on Monday morning! That’s unusual for me. But I had a smile on my face and a skip in my step.

So, yes, I have received multiple spankings in one day on a number of occasions. I think the second one usually hurts more. I welcome this kind of treatment when the spankings are for therapeutic purposes. They can really help me to focus and put things back into perspective.

Thank you all for your contributions. Please stop back this weekend for another brunch with the spankos!

Keywords: spanking, painful spanking, multiple spankings, My Bottom Smarts, spanko brunch

MBS Spanko Brunch #97

Welcome back! I hope all of you in the US are enjoying a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend. For readers elsewhere, please know that we're thankful to have you join us as well.

I'm posting this a few days early because we will have limited access to the internet this weekend. Feel free to jump in anywhere you like.

This week's brunch deals with a rather painful subject, even by spanko standards.

Have you ever experienced multiple spankings in a single day? If so, what were the circumstances? How did the second (or subsequent) spankings differ from the first? Do you think that multiple spankings are more effective? If you have not experienced multiple spankings in a day, can you imagine a situation where this might be beneficial?

When you are ready to add your two cents, I invite you to leave a message below, send me an e-mail, or post on your own blog. I look forward to reading about your experiences.

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Nov 18

Wow! I don’t think we’ve ever had 34 responses before. Our question was who first raised the issue of spanking. I believe that the majority answer was that the women did. Here are your responses.

Mthc: ME. ME. ME. It took a while, but he finally caught on. Now Hubby (David) can't get enough!

Dove: I simply asked ML to do it, but it took a long time to get that courage up in the first place. It was worth it though. :)

Lola: The topic came up when we were still just talking on-line. I could have sworn that He had brought it up, but in reviewing our correspondence, I discovered that I was originally the one who first mentioned it. Of course, He picked up on it immediately and expounded on the subject and on His interest in it. The rest is history.

Anon #1: We had played with spanking for a while, but I eventually got the courage to tell hubby that I wanted and needed a "real" spanking. After our first experience, he was a little shocked at the appearance of my bottom. We have learned a lot since then and now I enjoy a regular bum warming. I still have to ask for a hard spanking, usually when I am under a lot of stress at work.

Terpsichore: While I was the first to express to my husband that I wished to be taken over his knee and be spanked, if I look back in time, he was the first one to give me a playful spank. Unfortunately, at the time, I was not comfortable telling him how much I liked it. Now, many years later, I am ready and awaiting my first real spanking :-)

Jean Marie: Let me add my voice to the chorus of submissive women who outspokenly told their respective mates that they needed to be spanked.

I was a college co-ed who had experimented with sex with three rather fumbling suitors. Each time, the third date signaled that things were at a crossroads. Each man made a play, kissing me, getting my bra off, working fingers between my humid thighs, asking if I wanted to "do it." I nodded and disrobed. They came, I didn't.

Then I met Chris. On our first date, over dinner, he kissed me passionately. I knew then that we'd have sex later and that it'd be different. He didn't ask if he could come in when he saw me to my door, he just did. He expertly unhooked my bra and even more masterfully pinched my nipples until they projected like .45 caliber bullets. I was still swooning from that when he removed my skirt and underwear, kissing and caressing me all the while. It wasn't something to be ashamed of, his actions proclaimed. It was something to be hungrily devoured, like his dinner. Sex was better, maybe because he wasn't solicitous of me, he just pleased himself. He finished when I was close to climaxing, and this time I felt emboldened enough to speak up.

"I wanna cum," I sighed in his ear, "and I'm mere inches away..."

He roughly inserted two fingers in my one set of dripping lips and gruffly kissed the other set.

"I need something more," I whispered, pulling away from his mouth.

The guilty, little-boy-lost look in his eye said that he wouldn't be hard again for a little while.

"I need to be spanked..." I confessed. "I need for you to..."

I didn't get to finish. I was turned over his knee. I was blistered with his huge palm for about ten minutes straight. I came twice during this onslaught. He then took me off his lap and placed me face down on the bed, thrusting into me with a revitalized erection that pushed me to heaven's gates.

I often wonder what my life would've been like if I'd stayed with Chris.

Robin: I did. While DH has since expressed interest, I don't know that it's something he would have ever considered.

I had found stories and articles on the web that had struck a chord with me, but I wasn't sure how to bring it up. Eventually, I printed out some of the stories and articles, had them out on the bed, and tried to act relaxed while 'reading' them. When DH asked what I was reading, I answered honestly and showed him. His initial reaction was one of bemusement. He's somewhat accepted spanking as something I enjoy/want/need, but still has some hang-ups about it. It's still new to us, so some issues are only to be expected.

Anon VII: From ancient history: She started it, and I finished it! We were "getting with it" late one night in more or less standard vanilla fashion on the couch in my apartment during my graduate school days. As she got quite steamy, she said a naughty word, and then said, with her inimitable coyness, "You may spank me for that." Somewhat to her surprise, without missing a beat, I promptly flipped her over my lap (she's petite, I'm not). Much more slowly, I lifted her fetching little miniskirt and honored her request, giving her more than she asked for in the form of all manner of hand and finger caresses before and in between what I think it was ten very firm, well-spaced swats with my slightly cupped hand. The room was spinning around both of us when I finished, and I honestly don't remember much in the way of details after that. My next clear memory is waking with her snuggled up to me in bed the next morning, which fortunately was a Saturday. We later learned from each other that it was each of our first times to engage in spanking as foreplay, but that we'd fantasized about doing it with others for years.

Todd and Suzy: That's actually not so simple for us. I posted on a message board about spanking, in response to someone else bringing up the topic. Suzy then e-mailed me with some thoughts and questions. So, I brought it up first... but she brought it up first between us.

Mary: We were both "looking" for a spanking partner when we found each other. For us, the spanking was arranged as a means to an end. I needed it in grad school. He wanted someone to spank. The first one was formally arranged. The irony is that, for us, the question should be "Who brought up the idea of adding a vanilla relationship to accompany the spanking?" I have to say it was all His idea. After that first spanking, we were standing there. The lecture was finished so he pulled me close in a comforting, "It’s all over now" embrace. At some point, I got over the embarrassment of having my first true bare bottom spanking enough to look up at him. He kissed me. I wasn't expecting that, but I loved it. I kissed back and the rest is history (as often documented at Bonnie's brunch). I love his kisses to this day.

Emily: With my ex-hubby, it was me who brought it up. He seemed keen on the idea and actually showed potential, but in the end, it all fizzled out.

In my current relationship, we met through a spanking group so we both automatically knew what we wanted and desired. That was so much simpler than trying to convert a vanilla. LOL

Bet: In our case, it was all my idea! I had fantasized about being spanked for many years and had trawled the net for information. But it was not until after we were married that I found the guts to spring it on him. I told him on our honeymoon after tender lovemaking lying close and cuddling. He had quite a neutral response, but seemed very accepting. He also smiled and said something like, “I guess I could spank you if you did something really naughty.” That line caused me to lie awake till five in the morning, when I finally made up my mind. I tiptoed into the kitchen, took a small bowl, and a bit of water and ice. I tiptoed back in the bedroom and quickly poured the water over him. Then I ran! My heart was racing knowing I had sent a strong enough signal and not really knowing what I had gotten myself into. After a while, I composed myself and walked slowly back. He grabbed me and told me, “That was not a nice thing to do!” He then gave me a few semi-hard whacks on my panty-clad bottom and that was that. It wasn’t quite what I had had in mind, but it was a beginning.

Since then, we have talked a lot and tried more. That is now eight years ago. About three weeks ago, I confessed my desire to get a real spanking now and then for various things. He’s made his first attempt, but that will take time as well. Until then, I’ll live loving and happy with my dear, accepting vanilla husband, who is now quite capable of turning my bottom red and hot for a few hours.

Jam: I was the one that brought spanking into our relationship. It wasn’t too hard to go to the next step as he's always been an ass man. He loves finding implements in the most unusual places. Then, of course, he has to try them out on me. LOL But I love having a warmed up ass before sex. I sleep so much better after a spanking. Spanking has been with me all of my life. Happy spanking!

Paul: When I first met Mel in 1957, she was 14 and I was 22. The slipper, strap, and the cane were all used in her school, as they had been in mine. But they were, in fact, used quite rarely. Mel had never needed correction at school.

We were out on a trip to the beach, Mel did something very dangerous. In reaction, I spanked her hard. She was in tears. I really thought that I had gone too far and would lose her. Much to my surprise, she admitted that she got what she deserved and hoped that I would continue to spank her after our marriage. We were married three months later. During our honeymoon, we discovered erotic spanking as foreplay and we never looked back.

Later, I discovered that her parents had a D/D and D/s marriage, though they didn't call it that.

Jim: Joni and I have been together for 21 years. I let her know about my kink for spanking, way back then. It didn't take off for us during the early days, because: 1) I was ashamed of wanting to hurt her, and 2) She had feminist views that made untenable any acceptance of male violence.

To borrow Bonnie's metaphor from last week, introducing violence into a loving marriage would have been like rubbing a cat's fur the wrong way.

Our first child came along quite early on. By the time she was running around the house, her younger sister was born. What with juggling our careers, there was precious little time for anything other than no-frills sex.

There were exceptions, however. I still cherish the memory of the summary spanking I gave Joni after she threw the contents of a water beaker at me. She tells me that she accepted the spanking, with good humour “because it was a spontaneous response to my mischievous action.”

It has been only in the last two years, since the girls left home, that we have been able to expand the erotic dimensions of our relationship, generally. It was me who requested that we try spanking.

Since the advent of the Internet, it has become clear to us that spankyness is just like ticklishness (i.e., a condition found, to varying degrees, in many persons – regardless of age, class, race, or gender). In fact, the gender politics are now irrelevant to us, because we give each other a fair crack of the cane.

Hermione: I was the one who brought up the subject of spanking with my first husband. Since he was quite unenthusiastic about many aspects of vanilla intimacy, I should have known better. But I was young, optimistic, foolish, and wanted to be spanked. We did it a handful of times, and it was not a success.

My current husband, Ron, is a butt man, and since that area is also my primary erogenous zone, we were pretty compatible from the start. But I was wary about bringing up spanking, in view of my previous experience. Luckily, he decided to take matters into his own hands.

One evening, we were erotically entangled and I happened to be on top. He spanked first one cheek, then the other, then both together. He kept on spanking me until I reached a climax. I couldn't believe that my dream was actually coming true! I saw the northern lights that evening!

Once I had caught my breath, I told him that I had been hoping he would do that. We both thought about it all the next day, and repeated it that night. It has since become a regular part of our foreplay.

Lori: I definitely suggested it many years ago. I'll never forget his first response. He got in his car and left as I sat at home and cried. When he came back, he asked me why I wanted him to hurt me. Now, 22 years ago, there was no Internet to refer him to as there is today. I had no idea why I wanted him to hurt me. I had always wanted to be spanked and pretty much considered myself weird for feeling that way.

Anyway, I convinced him one day after I had gotten a speeding ticket. It was my first spanking, ten hard swats to a virgin butt, and it stung like crazy. After that, he was open to it and we used it for erotic play for many years. I was always in charge of the erotic play, so the spankings never went further than what I was controlling. Life went on, marriage was hard work and the sex life diminished with constant family stuff. Through these years, I always knew he would punish by spanking if I ever endangered my life somehow but spanking went by the wayside. We have picked it back up, having a lot of guidance through the Internet (thanks Bonnie). We are now a far cry (no pun intended) from those first ten swats 22 years ago. He and I are enjoying each other so much and actually regret the years we let get past us.

morningstar: When I first met Sir, He was the "bondage guy" up here in the Great White North. Sir loved D/s and the protocols and rituals that go with it.

He had never ever hit a woman, and couldn't ever see Himself doing so. BUT then I waltzed into His life. He was going to train me in D/s, and tie me up, and I was gonna waltz along my merry way in a few months. Honestly, I do not remember when the first spanking happened or what caused it. I was the masochist who was taking a sabbatical from pain, and before I knew it, Sir was finding out that He had a sadistic side...

I guess, in a roundabout way, I was the one who instigated the spankings, and we have never looked back since. Over the years, Sir and I have met a couple of Dominants who were not sadistic and weren't into pain. But as one of them said (after whalloping my ass at a play party), I seem to bring out the "worst or best" (depending on how you look at it) in Dominants (it must be my cheeky side!).

Kayley: *Pointing to Jack* It was ALL his fault. I wasn't gonna ask for it, I think. But he had the butt obsession and he always slapped my butt as I passed by.

I started pushing it by lying face down on the bed, pretending to nap. He would pass by me and slap my butt again. What kind of spanko can be satisfied with that? So one day I put on a school girl uniform and I couldn't believe how little it took him to start spanking. Even more, one summer, when I was a bitch on our vacation (I don't even want to remember that vacation), he gave me the belt. I didn't ask for it, which shocked me.

So it's all his fault. *grin*

Paige: I first brought up the subject of spanking to my hubby. I didn't come right out and say it, though, but started by asking him to pat my bottom while making love. That felt so good, I had to have more! I was figuring out how exactly to tell him that when I noticed an ad for the Shadow Lane magazine Stand Corrected in Cosmopolitan magazine. That seemed like the perfect way to bring up spanking, so I showed him the ad, gave him a sexy look, and said what do you think about trying spanking? To my delight, he was all for it!

Dave: Cindy and I were 'introduced' through a mutual spanko friend. I had 'played' with this woman a few times in private, and she had met Cindy at a weekend spanking party.

We had both 'played' with others a few times, but were still relatively new to open/mutually enjoyable spanking encounters. We IM'd and e-mailed for several months, and then met for the first time with only one thing on the agenda!

So the spanking came first, and the relationship developed and grew from there. While spanking play can be fun for awhile, once you've shared it within a deep loving relationship the play seems almost empty.

Mary: I just have to say - I love learning about everyone. This brunch is so much fun.

Lee: Well, I haven't brought up anything to anyone, but I just wanted to comment that I think Jim's idea of "spankyness" being like "ticklishness" is right on the money.

Ede: I had done something really stupid about fifteen years into our marriage, neither of us can remember what. She got angry and said "if my brother had done that, my mother would have put him over her knee." I said, somewhat in a smartass way, something like "well, if it makes you feel better, you can do that to me." That, my friends, was the start of a wonderful addition to our relationship. I've NEVER spanked her, but she puts me through the paces whenever I deserve it, usually while wearing panties to start, then on the bare.

Texas Spanko Girl: ME! ME! ME!!! And I've posted about our first spanking, both my account and his, on my blog. You should definitely check it out.

Blushing Bride: I originally mentioned it when we were dating, after about two years. Even though I can not recall ever not being interested in spanking, I was far to embarrassed to talk about it. I don't think he ever really got what I was talking about though. There were an occasional pat on the bum, but that was it. It was only after we were married that we started discussing it more and incorporating it into our sex lives, where it's still very much a work in progress.

Greenwoman: I've had two spanko relationships. One with my husband, one with M.

Husband= He introduced it by doing it. We didn't talk about it. He just did it as a part of sex. I liked it so long as it didn't sting much. Later, we graduated to a flogger.

M= He introduced OTK. That was new to me and I didn't know if I could handle it because of spankings as a child. It was wonderful. Now I love it.

PK: Oh, for sure, it was me! Nick seemed surprised but willing. He did warn me that while I might have fantasized about it many times, I might not like the real thing! LOL! Little did he know!

Jeana: We didn't really talk about it beforehand, but here's how it happened.

I had been interested in spanking for years, but I had never had the guts to bring it up to any of my boyfriends. Will (now my husband) has always had an obsession with my butt and would always squeeze or slap it (very gently) while we were playing in bed. One day, randomly, he slapped it hard, much harder than normal. I turned my head to look at him and his face was a cross between curious and scared. "Did that freak you out?" he asked. I had to have had the biggest smile ever on my face. "No, you could do it harder if you want," I answered. With that said he sat up, pulled me across his lap, and gave my bare bottom about twenty swats while much too frequently (at least he cares) asking if I was OK.

This led to a long conversation about limits, safe words, and so on. This was a first time experience for both of us so we both had tons of things to talk about and we finally had someone with whome to share them. So I guess, technically, he started it.

Sara: I was the first to suggest it too. For us, it was to introduce a disciplinary aspect into the marriage, specifically having to do with the power dynamic. We started there, and that lead to other fun things, of course!

Sally: I asked for it a little over a year ago and he reluctantly agreed. Since then, we have grown closer. He and I are both more willing to share with one another what we really feel and want. We have tried many other new things in our sex life that before were not even considered. It is like we are newlyweds and have fallen in love all over again. I truly love not just loving my husband, but being in love with my husband!

D and S: We went to a small party, which I think must have been plotted in advance. After supper, our host had row with his wife and she was quickly over his knee, skirt up and to my amazement he gave her a sound (or a least I then thought it was) spanking on the seat of her thin knickers, which she accepted with good grace. Their place was taken by another husband, who spanked his wife equally hard, and so on, until I realised that I was the owner of the only un-spanked female bottom in the room. All eyes were on us. David whispered "Up to you, love," and took his place on the spanking chair. There was no way I could chicken out, so I stood up and laid my self over his knee, feeling a hard bone in his trousers. Up went my skirt. The other girls, probably knowing what was planned had worn sensible panties. However, I wore a thong, and with my head low down, my ample bottom was stretched tight and as good as bare. My first ever spank was a smarting novelty, and he seemed to go on far longer then the others. He later told me that, in the excitement, he had lost track of time. He helped me up, "Sorry love, was that too hard?" My bum was blazing, but I was also very excited. This was really for me! Every one clapped.

The drive home was in silence, with me kneeling on the seat. I went upstairs and David followed me. I kissed him, handed him my hairbrush, and said, "Now give me a real spanking, before we do something about that monster in your pants."

Since then we have never looked back.

Sub Nouveau: Spanking was truly my babystep into BDSM. I've progressed to other stuff, but spanking remains my fave. If I recall correctly, my first spanking was OTK and I was hooked!

Bonnie: Randy and I have a friendly disagreement going back many years over who is really responsible for all this spanking. Here’s my account. I invite you to make up your own minds.

What fabulous stories! Thank you to everyone who joined in the fun.

For those celebrating Thanksgiving this week, may table be bountiful, your company pleasant, and your bird well stuffed!

MBS Spanko Brunch #96

Welcome back, dear friends, to our 96th weekly gathering. The spanko brunch provides an opportunity to hear and to be heard, to understand and to be understood. It's all about sharing your knowledge and perspectives. Our topic this week is very simple - Who started it? In your current relationship (or a memorable past one if you prefer), who first raised the subject of spanking? In what context? What was the initial response? To join in the fun, all you need to do is post a comment below with your answers. If you would rather send me an e-mail or post your thoughts on your own blog, that's perfectly fine too. Once everyone has had their say, I'll post an edited summary.

Top 100: Favorite Spanking Sensations

It won't come as a surprise to most readers of this blog that I have a deep appreciation for a good hard spanking. In fact, let me count the ways...

1. Giddy anticipation


2. Dancing butterflies


3. Patiently waiting


4. Not quite so patiently waiting


5. Wondering


6. Hoping


7. Wishing


8. Dreaming


9. Growing desire


10. Celebrating reunion


11. Smooching


12. Fondling


13. Making out


14. Hands in my hair


15. Hands on my bottom


16. Squeezing


17. Light taps that make me pant


18. Embracing


19. The scent of my man


20. His scratchy beard


21. My blouse unbuttoned falls to the floor


22. My bra is unhitched and gone


23. The kitchen is cold


24. Soft lips against my hard nipple


25. Hard crotch against my soft thigh


26. Kisses on my chest


27. Nibbles on my earlobe


28. A whispered invitation


29. An unconditional acceptance


30. Followed up the stairs


31. Hands gripping my hips


32. My jeans unbuttoned, unzipped, and away


33. Kneeling on the bed


34. Arching my torso longingly


35. Waiting now for the inevitable


36. Sensing a cool breeze from behind


37. Hearing the drawer open


38. Seeing the paddle in his hand


39. Feeling the smooth wood circling


40. Listening to words of savage seduction


41. Sensing his proximity


42. Breathing in


43. Savoring the first explosive swat


44. Breathing out


45. Embracing the burn


46. Jutting to meet a scorching destiny


47. Moaning so loudly


48. Hurting so sweetly


49. Lusting so deeply


50. Burning so brightly


51. Wanting it to be over soon


52. Wanting it to last forever


53. Drinking in the flames


54. Wood striking flesh makes a big noise


55. Must remember to breathe


56. Grateful for the things he does to me


57. Being the well spanked woman


58. Surrendering to the moment


59. Diving into submission


60. Feeling small


61. Craving his touch


62. Paddling has stopped


63. The paddle hits the floor with a clunk


64. Caressing has begun


65. My bottom feels hot


66. My bottom feels tingly


67. My bottom feels great


68. I feel sexy


69. He rubs my lower back


70. He kisses my stinging globes


71. He rolls me onto my back


72. He licks me well


73. I dance with pleasure


74. I writhe with excitement


75. Tightened muscles soon relax


76. Struggling to catch a breath


77. He is now on top


78. My legs embrace


79. My man within


80. Kissing


81. Groaning


82. Pulling him close


83. Filling and fulfilling


84. Finding release


85. Never wanting to let go


86. Falling apart together


87. Hugging


88. Love's perfume


89. Drowsy


90. Spooning


91. Admiring the residual burn


92. Recalling the pain proudly


93. Remembering the pleasure fondly


94. Basking in the afterglow


95. Feeling fingertips grazing over my hip, thigh, and bottom


96. Experiencing contentment


97. Dozing together


98. Snuggling tight


99. Thinking what a great story this would make


100. Giddy anticipation

Thanks, Randy, for helping me find my smile!

Thinking and Rethinking

I've written this post twenty times in my mind and at least three more here at the computer. Hopefully, I'll get it right this time.

A couple of weeks ago, I was ready to ride into the sunset, done forever with blogging. I always told myself that I would quit when blogging began to feel like a job. It seemed that time was at hand.

I am quite aware that both the quality and quantity of material on MBS has been in decline for months. I too often felt as though I was "phoning it in." I needed to post something, so I reached for the easy stuff - Ask Bonnie, Keyword Chaos, polls, generators, and so forth. The heart of this blog - accounts, stories, and tutorials - became increasingly absent. I am disappointed by this trend.

What's more, I'm tired, in every sense of that word. I still have plenty of subjects about which to write (thank you, dear readers, for your inspired suggestions), but I lack the drive necessary to convert good ideas into polished articles.

I feel two conflicting tugs. On one side, I have beloved friends asking me to assist, to entertain, and to educate. On the other, there are the green pastures of freedom and projects unexplored.

I can leave anytime I want, right? I can walk away and not look back, can't I?

After a whole lot of soul searching, I must admit that the answer to these questions is no. This blog and this community are a part of me. I cannot pretend the past two years never happened. I will undoubtedly retire for real one day, but that day is not today. I'm still a dedicated spanko and this is my blog.

So where does that leave us? I'm not entirely sure. I want to rediscover my spanko muse and flood you with quality content. I would love to surprise and delight you. I desire to keep up with all the obligations inherent in running a blog. But I can make you no promises beyond remaining true to the spirit of My Bottom Smarts.

And blog on we shall...

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Nov 11

Our brunch topic this week was switching. By that, we don’t mean whipping with a thin branch (although that might make a good future topic). In this context, we are talking about changing roles. Does the spanker ever become the spankee, and vice versa? Here are your experiences and observations.

David: Just today we switched roles and I have to admit that it didn't feel half bad. Would I do it again? Why should I let Mthc have all the fun?

Perverted But Friendly: We don't switch. Sometimes my partner gets the odd spank on her bottom with my hand just for fun, but 99.9% of the time, it's her spanking me. I'm the spankee and she very kindly indulges my kink.

Greenwoman: I am not currently in a D/s relationship with anyone in an active way. But in my last relationship, we had begun to explore on a pretty even basis for a variety of reasons. He felt that I needed to allow the dominant side of my personality have freer rein and that this would bring balance in my life. His interest in exploring submission was also not just a desire for spanking, it was to make him a better dominant.

Despite this switching role for who Tops whom, he was the one who was ultimately in charge and we liked it that way.

Natty: That’s a very timely question as it's been a topic of my blogging of late.

Yes, we do switch. It's something that has come on gradually as he's had more subby phases and I've found topping to be a nice outlet for the control I lack in my life due to illness.

Initially, it was very topping from the bottom for him. He would use my competitiveness as way of getting more effective topping from me. For example, I would have one hour to make him give in or I'd get thrashed. Or he'd just threaten me with a severe spanking if I didn't do a good job.

Our topping or bottoming roles are definitely different. My core role is as a child of sorts (so he's more of a parental figure when he tops) while he prefers more traditional domination when he bottoms.

However, when it comes to disciplinary arrangements, I'm the only one who gets punished for real life stuff. And that's only because it's completely an erotic experience for him whereas for me, given the right context, it can be an effective deterrent.

Jean Marie: My lover and I do not switch. Mine is the only fanny that gets spanked in our household. I must confess that it always takes me aback a bit to read about couples that do switch here on this blog and elsewhere, just as it does to hear about men dominated by women. It just seems foreign to me.

But I must also confess that I am titillated by the thought of playing with another woman, either being spanked by her, or taking the reins and spanking someone else for a change. I've been bi-curious for years, but have never acted on that impulse. I fantasize about gifting my lover for Christmas or his birthday with another woman who would share our bed for the night or the weekend as a threesome. I've written about spanking menage a trois situations, but it's all made-up. I know that he'd find it as arousing as I would.

I just don't know how to go about looking for that certain someone. I can't envision sitting at some college bar, cruising all the co-eds, striking up conversations with those who struck us both as potentially interesting, and then plunging ahead with the question, "How would you like to come home with us for a good, old-fashioned spanking?" I wouldn't be able to get the words out past my blushing giggles. But my panties would be as damp as they are as I type this...

Purple Angel: Yes, my partner and I switch on a regular basis. And we are both accountable to each other. My preferred role is always bottom, but I also enjoy the pleasure he gets when I Top. Just for the record, I do a lot of switching now and have come to enjoy it, as long as I get to have my bottom time as well. A cold backside is a terrible thing!

This Girl: No. we couldn’t. It would spoil the dynamic that we have. I don’t think neither of us could take it seriously if I was to try and top him!

Paul: Mel and I never switched, our changes in roles were much more subtle. Mel was a very intelligent woman, often more so than I, where her knowledge and experience exceeded mine she took the dominant role.

The only place our roles never changed was in the bedroom. Had Mel lived longer, who knows?

Brad: It’s funny how roles have changed over time. As a kid growing up, I spanked lots of girls in the neighborhood and just about every date I had got at least one swat on the rear, including my wife. Also, I attend lots of parties now and probably 80% of my time, I spank the girl.

However, at home, things are different. My wife had no power in her family and loves being able to exert it over me. I get the hairbrush on a fairly regular basis. Now, she will assume the submissive role, but she gets only severe bare bottom rubbings, or sometimes I will scold her but she administers the spanking to me while I am doing the lecturing. Mighty chivalrous of me, don't you think?

Even my party play subs sometimes like to switch roles on me. It’s all fun.

Anon #1: We never switch. I need to be dominated too much. I have to be the boss at work and I really look forward to him taking control at home, I need that to calm me and give me balance.

morningstar: This question is a two parter for Sir and me.

First off, NO, Sir and I would never switch. He is Sir. I am submissive. If, God forbid, we tried to switch? I would never see Sir in the same light again. My Dominant must always be strong and in control. I couldn't see Sir being any other way.

It helps that I don't really have a dominant bone in my body. OK, OK, not a natural one! And yes, that is an arguable point now that Sir and I have a houseboy, drakor, who I am in charge of 99% of the time.

But a quick explanation... drakor has had a number of dominants who did not fill his need. drakor is also a long time friend. He comes to clean the condo every Sunday.

It was not too far a stretch to take him on as 'houseboy'. Most of the sessions with drakor are done by both Sir and me. I am not considered Dominant. I am considered 'alpha sub' or Sir's #1, the 'major domo' if you prefer...

drakor is an addition to our household, on a part time basis. He is owned by Sir.

I am not sure I did a good job answering the question of the week in a condensed version :( But trust me when I say that I could NEVER switch with Sir. That would unhinge the stability of our relationship (Sir's and mine).

Anon #2: We have only recently started spanking and it's me who tends to spank my wife. But we did have a session where she blindfolded me recently and spanked me with her bare hand and then a small leather whip. I want more and I think we will probably have a fairly equal split. For us, it's a wholly erotic thing

Jim: We always dress up for our role-play switch sessions. I have a number of suits that my wife likes to see me in. She has an extensive wardrobe to choose from. We strive to surprise each other.

For example, when I was recently called to her room, I found her dressed as a left-bank Parisian intellectual (circa 1957) and puffing on a fake cigarette. My sartorial response was to pull on bell-bottoms and a stripy top. After a bit of banter and fake apache play, she ended up across the knees of her sailor lover – who had the pleasure of soundly walloping the seat of her pencil slim skirt. And, taking the leather paddle, in one hand, I rolled up that skirt with the other. Her exposed derriere was then spanked, unmercifully, until it displayed all the hues of the French tricolour.

The sailor's wrath abated, it was his turn to experience the thrill of being thrashed by his paramour. This was a voluntary action on his part. He understood his woman's desire to redress the temporary imbalance of power between them. His pride, in having the fortitude to endure the savage strokes of the cane she wielded, was manifest also in a triumphant penis – ready to perform the climactic act of their lusty encounter.

Anon VII: My answer is, "Well, often maybe sort-of, but never really." By that, I mean that she frequently nails me with a playful or affectionate pat, pinch, or even an occasional swat (sometimes rather hard!) with the hand, as I do with her when we're not into the heavy-duty activity. In those situations, there is no real top or bottom, no dom or sub. It's mutually enjoyed, playful affection. In the more serious situations, however, I'm invariably the top, although, as I've said in previous postings, my topping is never of the heavily dominating or punitive sort. Her wants, which tend to vary within the rough-and-tumble playful to intensely erotic range, with the former often proceeding into the latter, are always very important to me. It might be said, therefore, that we occupy something of a gray area in which top and bottom roles are not so rigidly defined, which means that the issue of switching or non-switching isn't one that we ever really confront.

Todd and Suzy: We had a very similar topic in our Roundtable this week. We asked about readers’ spanko 'role' and how flexible they are in terms of changing it. We asked because of how many people we know that have changed their 'label' in the time we've known them.

For us, as a couple, we don't ever switch. I am the spanker and Suzy is the spankee. In a party setting, though, Suzy enjoys playfully spanking other females. She's also open to playful being spanked by females, and she might even be willing to spank a guy. So, her role there is very flexible. I'm still only interested in being a top, no matter the situation.

Anon #3: Yes, we sometimes switch. I suggest a game of dice when I feel an urge to spank Sue's svelte rear, for no reason, and perhaps risk my own. The rules are very simple. Each of us throws a die. The highest number spanks and the total of both dice is the number of swats. Two further throws decide the implement and the clothing. We agree beforehand the number of games. The loser has to do exactly as they are told. Any argument or refusal earns a caning.

I remember quite well, one evening when I was just longing to get my hands on Sue's bottom, but for four throws she won. I was well bent over for strap, paddle, switch, and hairbrush mainly on the bare. My sore rear was dreading the fifth throw. We each threw a five. This means we throw again. Sue threw another five. Oh no! I threw a six and I watched with glee as the dice choose 21 swats with the paddle on her knickerless bottom. My own bottom encouraged me to lay on twenty one juicy ones, as she arched over the chair back. From then on, my luck changed, and Sue earned four more good spankings, whilst I got a good dose of the hairbrush over her knee, which I loved. After five wins each, it was time to celebrate on the fireside rug, my smarting bottom helping me to give her a real seeing-to, as her equally sore bottom squirmed on the rug.

Hermione: We never switch. I did ask my husband once if he wanted me to spank him. Not that I felt any desire to, but I wanted to show willingness to reciprocate, and to give him as much pleasure as he was giving me. But he said no. He was the spanker and I was the spankee.

We were debating the possible outcome of an upcoming election recently, and Ron wanted to make it interesting. "How much do you want to bet?" he asked me. I replied, "A spanking". The look of dismay on his face was priceless! "But I don't want a spanking!" he wailed.

Outside the bedroom, we each have our areas of expertise and our own responsibilities. When we can't come to an agreement or reach a compromise, Ron casts the deciding vote.

Mary: We don't switch. He was quite clear when I mentioned the topic today that he would not switch. Which is just perfect, because I have no desire to spank him, and I absolutely love being spanked by him. The idea of a house boy – or even girl – totally delights me in theory. Mostly because I can't seem to keep up with the house and my bottom is currently well bruised and sore on account of that failing.

The closest we get to switching is when I am allowed to tie him up. This was done as a fantasy gift from me to him. I loved teasing him mercilessly with my tits in his face or near his hands just out of reach or sucking him hard with him helpless to do anything but enjoy. Of course, my bottom got a spanking when I was through delightfully torturing him for being such a naughty tease. It is all part of the grand plan to me. I like control if it is to tease him and make him wait to have access to me, but beyond that, he is totally in charge of what happens and it always my bottom that gets spanked.

Jen: We rarely switch. In the beginning, he would let me spank him with my hand, but I could tell he only occasionally enjoyed it. Now that he has recently started to really take control of our sex life, he is very much the authoritative spanker and I am the erotically satisfied spankee.

I'm sorry, but I want and enjoy all the fun to be on my bottom. Because I am so dominant in every other area of my life, it really nice to have my man in total control in the bedroom – who wishes to please me (and my bottom) in every way.

Kayley: We can't switch. As Paul puts it, I can be dominant and I tend to be so with everyone. But in my fantasies, and his as well, in bed I am the bottom. And I love it.

Lula: We don't switch. Neither of us has any desire to switch. However, for our first spanking ever, we had seen a movie with spanking and were both intrigued and we experimented with him spanking me then me spanking him. Outcome of that "experiment" was that I love being spanked and he loves spanking me, and NOT the other way around at all! Since then, we've never looked back!

As others have commented, I'm in control of so much else – at work, with the home, the finances, etc. I like to give up that control between the sheets (or on top of them, beside them, etc.)!

Our Bottoms Burn: We both have controlling personalities and we both switch. Our spanking is faithfully erotic and our submission to the other only lasts for a few minutes. Usually, one of us is the top for the session. Less frequently, we take turns warming each others bottoms. Today was one of those more rare days.

Him: The sort version is that we switch, and I can't claim to have a favorite role (both sides of the paddle are great). She, however, seems to enjoy being the spankee more than the spanker.

I go into a little more detail on our blog, but there you are!

Anon #4: This has been the topic of many a conversation between my Dom and me. He will not switch. He is too dominant and I am not allowed to even think about changing roles. During playful exchanges, I have been known to swat in passing and it is always reciprocated with a firm reminder of my true role in our relationship. He tells me that if I want to switch, I need to find myself a nice subbie boy to spank. But it is not going to be him. This is fine with me because I love being his sub.

Joni: Jim has more than 40 employees he can lord it over if he wishes. I am at the top of my profession too. There is no need for a casting vote in our home. We are both rational adults.

Our play is not about dominance. It is about pleasing each other. I have a child within me. And he has too.

Bonnie: For Randy and me, switching just doesn’t fit. Whatever else it is, spanking serves as the centerpiece of our erotic relationship. While our roles are somewhat flexible, the real turn-on for both of us is him spanking me (and everything that surrounds that act). Switching, for us, would feel like rubbing a cat’s fur from tail to head. Besides, as Randy occasionally points out, I’m the one with “padding in all the right places.”

Thank you all for joining in our brunch discussion!

Keywords: spanking, spanking roles, switching, spanko, My Bottom Smarts, spanko brunch

MBS Spanko Brunch #95

OK, let's have some brunch! Today's question was suggested by a regular reader.

Do you and your partner ever switch roles? If so, is it a fifty-fifty arrangement or an occasional change of pace? Do you each have a preferred role?

If you would like to participate in today's brunch, please leave a comment below, send me an e-mail, or post your response on your own blog.

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Nov 4

Our topic for this brunch was asking. Is it all right for the spankee to ask to be spanked or to ask for more? Or does that constitute topping from the bottom? Here's what you said.

Perverted but Friendly: We are slightly unusual spankos as we normally discuss the spanking first and I get to add my input, then I get spanked. Sometimes, I do ask for more or harder swats, but I think that my partner has the measure of what I need, so that does not happen often.

Anon VII: Addressing this issue from the spanker's perspective, if I may, I have no problem with being asked (or better, invited, ideally by wordless action and/or look) to administer a spanking. Since I'm not into either punishment or dominance, but very much into the erotic/sexual aspects that often begin playfully, I like to know as exactly as possible what she does and doesn't want.

Sometimes it's discussed, but often that, too, is wordless. She might leave an implement in plain sight (often on my desk), stretch across my lap ostensibly to get something off the table beside the couch, or emphasize the bending over to pick something up off the floor. To me, her wants are every bit as important as mine, so I'm not bothered by "topping from the bottom" so long as it's not done in a commanding or petulant fashion.

Robin: Oh, that’s absolutely reasonable. As much as I would like DH to take charge and just do it, there will always be times when I want/need a spanking and DH is not in that mind space. If I don't say anything, he's not going to know, and as irrational as it is, I will get frustrated and irritated with him for not giving me the spanking I want/need. I have to remind myself that DH is not a mind reader.

As for asking for more, I suppose it would depend on the type of spanking. Our spankings are play/erotic. Asking for more or harder or whatever, seems reasonable. I have made comments during a spanking, but how the spanking goes is ultimately up to DH. If we were doing disciplinary or punishment spankings, I don't think it would be appropriate for me to comment about quantity or intensity during the spanking. It would be too much like questioning his authority.

I sometimes set out my preferred implements, and DH will most likely use them. But if I don't set out what he prefers he'll get them out and use them anyway.

I may ask to be spanked. I may suggest implements, positions, intensity, quantity, etc. While DH does listen, he's in charge and may or may not do as I suggest. And I prefer it that way.

Todd and Suzy: We think it's reasonable for a spankee to make requests. But it's not always practical. Having to come right out and SAY what is wanted changes the dynamics. It doesn't feel very submissive and thus takes something away from the experience.

So, we have little playful 'rules' that lead to a spanking if they're broken. Nothing bad happens if the rule is broken. We're talking about things like having to shave or not leaving dirty clothes on the floor. By breaking one of these silly rules, the "I want a spanking" signal is sent.

Some would say this is topping from the bottom, and they're probably right. It works for us, though, so... So what! It's better than having to directly ask.

As for more swats, or harder/softer requests, Suzy has subtle ways of letting those desires be known. For example... “Have you learned your lesson…?” “What lesson, sir?” LOL Okay, maybe it's not so subtle!

Also, it has helped that we've communicated so openly about spanking through the years.

Natty: Oh, I think it's certainly appropriate to ask. Personally, though, I hate asking. Like Todd and Suzy mentioned, asking changes the dynamic, and I like to feel that it's something I don't have a choice about. Sometimes, out of desperation (usually at bedtime), I might ask for a spanking, and then it comes outs something like "CanIhaveabedtimespanking?" You know, I try to get it out there as fast as possible so that the taste of asking leaves quickly.

A. and I have talked about implementing some sort of system where one of us will wear something that's a signal that he or she is in the mood for a spanking. And if during the spanking it's not hard enough, I tend to say something like "Please don't spank me more, Sir!" Something really smart-assed also does the trick. ;-)

Lula: Yes, I think it's reasonable for a spankee to ask for a spanking. We're new spankos, and for now, we communicate about everything. I have asked for both less and greater intensity. I have also "checked" to make sure a spanking was not over when my spanker has given me a break (during which his hands wander to other parts of my body). I would imagine that, as we gain more experience, we'll use words less and communicate in other ways. I'm seeing this start to develop already. But for now, we're definitely fine with me asking to me spanked, for a particular implement, for a harder spanking, etc.

Dove: I also think it is appropriate, and when in a new spanking relationship, entirely necessary.

Jack: At the very beginning of my spanking journey, I asked few times to be spanked longer and harder. This was because my wife was afraid that she might injure me and spanked very lightly.

Now, after five years of experience, she spanks hard and it’s never too light or to short.

However, asking to be spanked is something that we find to be a turn-on. From time to time, when she schedules a spanking, she orders me to come to her and ask to be spanked on certain day, or/and at a certain time. If I forget, I get extra punishment.

Sara: I also think it is not only appropriate, but necessary to develop good enough communication so the spanker knows what the spankee feels, thinks, needs, etc. In disciplinary spankings, I would not comment, but even with these, we sometimes talk maybe the next day, and assess how things went. I might then say what I think. It really is possible to communicate without taking control.

Paul: We were rather relaxed about rules. Mel rarely asked for a spanking in words. There were so many ways that she could show by actions what she wanted.

She always got what she needed and was mostly happy.

Jean Marie: Normally, my thought process runs in the opposite direction. I'm biting my lip or chewing my cheek while lover-boy is working my other set of cheeks fiercely. I'm usually thinking something like, "Ouch! Geez, go easy there, big fella! Youch! I'll be good! I promise..."

But every once in a great while, the endorphins kick in early, and I feel like Wonder Woman. I honestly feel as though I could take it all night long. I don't ask for more; I brat for more. I stick my ass out and say something like, "Gee, I thought you said I was gonna get spanked... If I'd known I was in for a session of patty cake, I'd have put my hair in pig-tails... Are you gonna thrash me or tickle my tush?"

I've never been disappointed. In no time I'm thinking, "Ouch! Geez, go easy there, stud! Youch, that stings! Okay, I'll be good... promise!"

Morningstar: Boy, that is a debate we have had more than a few times around here. Do I have the right to ask for a session?

Sir has always said, "Yes, I have the right to ask – respectfully.” But that does not mean I am going to receive one... The final decision, as with all things, is up to Him.

During a session, do I have the right to direct the session? No, I don't. Do I? You betcha! But only in a nonverbal manner.

If I want more intensity, I stick my ass further out. Sometimes, I have been known to actually wiggle my ass (in a cheeky fashion) at Sir.

If I want less intensity, I usually without thought move away from the hits and try to "escape."

Do either of these messages get through to Sir? Yup, every time. Does He do anything about them? Sometimes yes and sometimes no. Again, it is entirely up to Him what I get or don't get.

I think the most difficult situation is when I don't want a session to end. I want it to go on forever and ever, but Sir decides for whatever reason the session is over. I have been known to pout (very un-subbie like for sure). But after six years of being with Sir, I know He stops things only because there is a very good reason!

Jammin: Yes, I think it’s reasonable to ask for a spanking. Most of my spankings are erotic/sexual. So I don’t think I'm topping from the bottom. Usually, I will let my lover know with body movements such as shaking my rear at him, being cheeky, or little sounds like giggling, moaning, sighing, etc. He knows me so well that he gives me what I need. I don’t get to pick positions or implements or how hard or soft, but I love having a warmed up rear.

Hermione: There does seem to be a fine line between a sub expressing his or her needs and topping from the bottom.

Our spankings happen on a specific day and time, and this is a very comfortable and reassuring arrangement. I can experience excitement, anticipation, apprehension, and fear without needing to wonder if or when it will happen. The downside is that no amount of hinting, dressing up, or just plain asking will make the appointed hour come any sooner, and no extra spankings happen in between. My husband knows I'd like them more often. But being a sub means accepting my Dom's decision.

The choice of implement is entirely up to my husband. I might mention some time beforehand that he hasn't used the belt (or whatever) for a while, and he'll usually take the hint. But since I was the one who assembled our collection, anything he decides to use pleases me. I love surprises and Ron enjoys my reaction when he shows me what he has in store for me.

One of the recent brunches dealt with the topic of counting, and I had planned to use this as a way of asking for more swats. Recently, during a session with our favourite implement, Ron stopped spanking my bottom and started rubbing it. That was fine, but then his fingers strayed to a more intimate area, signaling that the spanking was over. I quickly found my voice and asked for six more hard ones. I got more all right, hard and harder. And not just six, but as many as he felt were needed. That did the trick, because I have not had any reason to complain about either quality or quantity since.

I had a bit of a dilemma when I wanted to try a new spanking position. Should I say something in advance, or wait until zero hour? Would he refuse? Should we have a walkthrough? I rehearsed the scene over and over in my mind, tried it out in private, and worried for two days straight. Then, when the spanking was actually imminent, I simply 'assumed the position'. Ron took it from there, and we both enjoyed it immensely.

This seemingly simple business of spanking and being spanked comes with such a plethora of rules, rituals, signals, and secret handshakes. And they are all of our own making.

Radha: In the beginning, I used to ask for a spanking. But now, it’s not so much. I usually lay out the implements that I would like to include in the evening's spanking. If the paddle comes out, it is an indication that I want something harder. If nothing is out, then Krishna uses his hand. But, of course, he can choose whatever he wants when he wants. This seems to be working for us now. Maybe things will change when we are done testing our limits.

Jeana: Yeah, I think it is reasonable to ask, although I never ask with words. He can normally take a subtle (or sometimes not so subtle) hint. Sometimes, I ask him to spank me harder because he is still kind of paranoid about hurting me. He doesn't mind if I ask. He says he likes it since we are both new at this.

Paige: I totally like to top from the bottom! And although my hubby lets me, he chuckles and reminds me that he's supposed to be in charge of spankings! LOL!

Mthc: Not only do I think it's reasonable, but I ask for certain positions as well. Ours is a mutual fun relationship and usually ends sexually. Big Evil grins!

Prefect DT: As far as asking for a harder spanking goes, I find that nine out of ten times a woman will not spank hard enough for me the first time we play together. So I have to ask for more. But when you think about it, that is just he spanker being sensible.

Abby: At the very beginning of our romantic relationship, when we moved from being friends in love with one another to being actual lovers, we talked about what we wanted from our spanking relationship, especially as we'd both been away from it for years. My clearest memory of that conversation is of him telling me, "Sometimes I'll want you to ask for more." Sometimes I'm embarrassed to do so, but I know both asking for more and that little bit of shame that comes with asking for it are turn-ons for him. I think asking for it actually gives him more power, because it's me saying "I want you to take control of me that much more."

Him: My response is posted at Lost in Our Eyes.

Bonnie: Randy says that I am absolutely welcome to ask for spanking or more spanking whenever I please. However, he has made it equally clear that everything that happens afterward is up to him.

He figures that if I am in a state where I need to ask, a simple bottom warming won’t be sufficient. When I ask, his response is usually a fast, hard paddling. It’s usually more than I think I want, but often precisely what I need.

As I’ve described before, we also have a variety of non-verbal signals. Examples include wearing thong-style panties, bending over right in front of him, and laying out an implement. These work quite well (and occasionally too well!). We have a lot of fun with spanking and when I initiate, it doubles our opportunities for play.

Carye: I do request spankings at times. But most of the time, PS can tell when it is needed. As for how hard, PS usually knows what I need. He has taken to asking whether I want some "hard" swats at the end of a spanking. I usually do! And he always gives them to me. We've incorporated this routine as a way to build up the intensity for me, and to let him know how intense I'd like it to be.

I think this was one of our best brunches. Thank you to everyone who contributed. Please be sure to join us next week for more of the same.

Keywords: spanking, asking, spanko, My Bottom Smarts, spanko brunch

MBS Spanko Brunch #94

I would like to send a big thank you to everyone who offered well wishes this week. We're going to be just fine and life should return to normal soon.

So are we having a brunch this week? Well, yes, of course we are! Things have been mighty busy around here, but not too busy to continue our Sunday tradition.

I think our topic this week is an interesting one. It deals with spankee requests. While the spanker usually makes the decisions about how a spanking proceeds, the needs and desires of the spankees may be considered as well. Invoking a safeword is one obvious example. But our focus today lies at the opposite end of the spectrum.

Do you think it's reasonable for a spankee to ask to be spanked? During the course of a spanking, may the spankee ask for more swats or greater intensity? Have you asked or been asked? What was the spanker's response?

If you would like to join our discussion, I invite you to post a comment below, send me an e-mail, or post a response on your own blog. I hope you'll share your thoughts and experiences!