Sunday, April 05, 2009

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Apr 5

Our topic this week was reactions to accidentally overhearing a coworker discussing adult spanking. As usual, brunchers approached this question from a number of different angles. However, a clear consensus emerged behind the discrete approach. Here are your thoughts.

Anon #1: If you care about your job, be careful about possible sexual harassment charges in the workplace.

Todd and Suzy: It would depend upon several things, but chances are at the workplace, I'd just let it go. What "spanking" is can mean so many things. Even vanillas talk and joke about it. This could not only lead to problems for me, but also the person who I overheard might be very uncomfortable with it.

This doesn't mean there is no way I'd ever bring it up though. If the person were a friend outside of work, or really-really hot (lol), I'd consider it.

Jean Marie: This question made me do some soul-searching.

First, it would thrill me to overhear someone using the words "adult spanking" in the workplace. I think I'd use the post office mailbox that I use for writing submissions to contact them anonymously. I would warn them to be careful about being overheard on the phone in the future. Then I'd relate that they had nothing to worry about from me because I was a fellow-spanko. Now this is where it gets dicey. There's that phrase about a bear not pooping where he eats, meaning don't have sex where you work. But I'm a highly-sexed girl, and bi-curious, so everybody is in-play. If I found them attractive, I'd probably gradually try to get to know this person, get better acquainted, and slowly reveal my tastes and appetites to them over time.

Contemplating this made-up situation made me have to confront myself honestly. It also got me aroused.

Diesel Diva: I would most definitely keep my mouth shut. But I would keep my ears open for future references. Perhaps I would consider an anonymous note regarding phone etiquette.

Prefectdt: It would very much depend upon the person concerned. Can you trust them? Are they discreet? Is it a nice person? Are they the sort who can keep their work and social life separate?

It is always good to find another kinkster to interact with, even if they are not a potential playmate (might be a bloke) and all you would ever do is chat with them about stuff, outside of work or wherever you find them. But it is also important to keep work and social life separate. I think basically it comes down to assessing the individual concerned and proceeding with caution.

Dr. Ken: First, I'd smile quietly to myself because it's always fun to hear some spanking comment – even if by accident. That would be the extent of my reaction. I certainly wouldn't caution them about phone etiquette. It was something accidentally overheard, after all. They weren't broadcasting it. I just got lucky enough to hear it. And I certainly wouldn't out myself. That could lead to all kinds of trouble!

I might, at most, try dropping a casual comment around them. If, say, something got screwed up, I might say, "They should all be taken out back and spanked" or some such – and see what reaction it gets, if any.

Other than that, though, I'd leave it alone. It is someone you only know cordially – friendly, but not a friend. Any other response would be inappropriate.

Penfold: I’d feel quite intrigued by the whole conversation, and a bit naughty for listening in the first place. But I also agree that I wouldn't speak to them directly, either to say about there phone habits or to out myself. I would, however, chat to Bear about it and see what he thought. Whether I would drop subtle hints in later conversations would have to depend upon the circumstances. The only way I would do this is if it was a fellow female worker. NEVER a male worker! That would be suicidal!

This Girl: I would definitely think quiet. If they think I'm the sort of person who sticks my nose in other peoples conversations, are they going to trust me about their kink? No.

I would keep quiet, even if they were hot!

LDD-4-Me: “Not that I'm paranoid, it's just that everyone’s after me.”

I would avoid any comment that would let on that I knew anything. The workplace these days must be just that, the workplace... Nothing more.

In these times, unfortunately, there are far too many things that can be considered harassment. There are too many zero tolerance situations combined with, in many situations, far too many surprise backstabbers behind every corner.

Hermione: In our open-concept office, where everyone can hear everyone else, I have been known to say to a colleague that "I was eavesdropping and..." so I could help with a work-related problem. As far as personal conversations are concerned, the unwritten rule we all follow is to ignore them and pretend we haven't heard a thing.

If I were to overhear a conversation involving the S-word, I would certainly prick up my ears and listen carefully. But I would not consider outing myself to this coworker or letting him or her know I had overheard one side of what I assume was a personal and intimate conversation. I might watch the person a little more closely and perhaps try to listen to more phone conversations out of curiosity.

Caroline Grey: I pretty much agree with the general feeling on this one. Of course, it would depend upon what kind of a workplace. In an office, I'd just pretend I hadn't heard anything, and occasionally smile to myself about it. In a more relaxed, physical-labour type job (the kind I've had more often), I find there tends to be a lot of leeway about what you talk and joke about. When I've been working at some grimy job with a bunch of dudes, there's been a lot of risqué joking around that would never be tolerated in an office environment, but that everybody takes as it's meant – in good fun. In that situation, I might tease the person and joke about it with them. I've had spanking themes come up jokingly in work before, actually, and it was all just silliness and something for me to smirk about in private.

But I don't think I'd ever approach the subject seriously or in earnest, no matter what the surroundings. And I'd never ever out myself either.

Anon #2: Once, a long, long time ago, I worked for a fairly famous chain restaurant. One night, a couple of the wait staff were making jokes about it and one even bent over so the other could spank them. My only thought was, "I have a paddle in the car. If you’re going to spank, then do it right."

Anon #3: Unless they approached me, or it came up in a private conversation between us, I wouldn't mention it. It would probably just lead to awkwardness or possible sexual harassment charges. No good!

Anon VII: My inclination in almost every case is to leave such things alone. They're none of my business. Now, having said that, if the person were a close friend or relative, I might suggest speaking more softly, or perhaps better, not at all about the subject while on the phone in the workplace. Otherwise, it would be hands-off (no pun intended) as far as I was concerned; and no, I'd not "out" myself. Just like his/her business isn't mine, mine is not his or hers.

Bonnie: Once I imagined being in the place of the person who was overheard, the answer was easy and obvious. I would want my co-worker to forget it ever happened and say nothing. I’m quite comfortable with my kink, but if I were approached about it by a male colleague, I would be mortified. Even if my job weren’t threatened (and I would probably be safe in that regard), my credibility around the office would definitely be damaged if word got around.

It’s a shame we must wear these masks, but until the world changes, mine will remain securely in place.

Lee: First off, I'd gain a newfound respect for that person. Where I come from, people seriously believe that the only "correct" way to have sex is the missionary position, so it would make me happy inside knowing that SOMEONE was exploring something "atypical" that they enjoy. I'm not sure I'd bring it up to them unless we became close, though. It opens too many doors that could harm me or that person if someone else were to find out (for example, that other co-worker didn't keep secrets very well).

Evan: I have not had that experience, but my domme girlfriend often says she will invite a witness. In the meantime, at the very least, I must be un-self-conscious in the gym changing room and let my reddened ass show. I am not as uncomfortable as when she first started demanding this. But I have twice noticed other guys with marks, one looked like he got the cane very badly and he also seemed bald around the genitals, another sign of having a dominant wife. I did not say a thing, but it left me feeling much more comfortable about my own kinky proclivities.

Anon #3: I'll carry forward the "toothpaste out of the tube" concept, and add that the cap of the tube should remain tight. So far, comments have been levelheaded and realistic. It's simply not worth the risk in most instances.

Now, what I REALLY want to know is how some of our most beloved, high profile scene models, who also maintain fulltime positions in the work world, manage to completely elude detection, when, in one particular case, her magnificently sculpted bare rump, whether spanked or unspanked, is as easily recognizable as her very pretty girl-next-door face?

Assuming we're talking about the same spanking supermodel, she said that people don't recognize her in a different context. Perhaps a few do and they choose not to out her and themselves. Either way, she said this hasn't been a problem.

Loki Darksong: It's always good to think and hope that someone you know and work with is into the things that you are into. The thing is that you have to be careful. Very careful. I hate to sound harsh, but it is far too easy for someone to cry 'HARASSMENT!" these days. Not to mention, there are those who would seek promotion through character assassination.

I would suggest a very stealthy approach towards finding out for certain, with plenty of avenues of escape as a precaution.

I hope this is not much of a downer, but it's the times we are living in.

Thank you all for joining in!


ronnie said...

Sorry Bonnie, missed it again.

If I overheard a conversation like that, I couldn't fail to be curious and would tell P what I'd heard but that's all. I would keep quite, not say a word to the person as you wouldn't know exactly what all the conversation was about.

davetherave said...

I was working overtime one day and a co-worker said "You need a good SPANKING!" Another woman overheard, stopped and said - "Can I watch?" We all laughed. Had it been said when the entire office were there it would have caused quite the scene. Also, a few tease me about me needing spanked and I just grin and say - "Whenever you think you're big enough."

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