Sunday, October 05, 2008

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Oct 5

Our topic this week was how spankings are concluded. Here are your insights.

Thomas: Unfortunately, my only comment can be that there is no single way that one of my spankings ends. It depends entirely upon the circumstances and the reasons for the spankings. It can even change from one spankee to another. In most cases, the spanking ends with more intense swats than it started with, but even this isn't set in stone. It may end in aftercare, snuggling, scolding or corner time, lovemaking, or even just a brief pause before more spanking.

Olivia: I think there was a period of time when I used to feel that it was up to my Disciplinarian to just * know * when I'd had enough, when I had been fully punished or when I had reached a certain place emotionally that was where I needed to be. There are times still when that is the case, but we have also reached a point where feedback from me is helpful to us both. This may be done through him gently asking "do you feel properly punished?" I have to be really honest about that. I know that even though my bottom may be very sore, I mentally still have some way to go. I also know that as intuitive as he is, he can't always read my mind and I shouldn't expect him to do so.

"Wrapping" a spanking up depends upon the context in which it has been given. For punishment, this is often likely to be through my tears, the release that I feel in being properly dealt with, the sense of forgiveness and a clean slate to step forward, and his kind words acknowledging what has happened. If the spanking has been given in another kind of context, what follows feels very personal and private to share. I believe those moments right after a spanking are the most intimate and special of all, and encapsulate what is most unique between just the two of you.

Whatever kind of spanking it is, as it comes to an end, there is always bottom rubbing, and cuddling, and connection and closeness. This sometimes has a beautiful stillness to it, and at other times there is an electricity that needs to be acted upon.

Prefectdt: If it is a paid for spanking, time’s up when time’s up. For a spanking with a fellow amateur enthusiast, once my mind is in the right place, I would be happy for it to go on forever and ever. Therefore, I leave it up to the lady who is topping. Usually, it ends for one of four reasons: (1) She has worked out her frustrations, (2) She reached the point where she has had her fun, (3) I'm showing too much damage and so it is time to stop for safety reasons, or (4) she is worn out (I like it when the last one is the case).

I prefer the final strokes when they are announced and they are something special An example might be twelve extra hard strokes with the biggest cane.

Afterwards, I'm pretty much a non-sex player, so usually coffee, a smoke (where allowed) and a coming back to real (vanilla) life chat seems to be beneficial for both parties.

Dr. Ken: I don't know that I would call it a "technique," but in wrapping up a spanking, the last dozen or so swats are usually the hardest to either drive the lesson home (if it's "that kind" of a spanking) or to make sure she remembers it.

I use a simple verbal check to make sure that we're on the same page in regard to the state of the spanking. It can be something as simple as, "Do you think you've learned your lesson, young lady?" If she's not ready for the session to be over, she can say, "No!" or "Well, maybe." That is my cue to keep on spanking. If she says, "Yes," then it's time to finish. (If she says, "Yes, sir" I KNOW it's time to wrap it up). :-)

When it's over, I usually will spend some time rubbing her sore bottom until she feels she wants to get off my lap, then some hugs and aftercare like cuddling or snuggling and some light conversation about what just happened.

Daisy: He tends to slow down near the end, but the spanks get harder. It’s sort of a build up to a grand finale! It’s kind of common also, especially if it’s a discipline/attitude adjuster, for him to ask if I think I can be good now. These are never rhetorical questions. He expects an answer because he can tell from the tone of my voice whether he has gotten through to me. He warns that if not, this will have been just a taster!

Immediately after the spanking, he will usually fondle and rub and squeeze my ass, maybe tenderly apply an icepack ("first aid" - he is sooo sweet like that), hold me real close and whisper lovingly into my ear. He tells me how much he loves me, or if I have been very bad, lecture me and warn me. This is sooo sexy. Mostly afterwards, it will lead to (you know... LOL) tender, passionate, animalistic... Whatever feels right... xxx

Girl: My spankings generally end with more severe swats at a count of five. This may result in comfort afterwards. Even after the comfort, I may be subjected to further spanks, simply because he's inspired himself...

It is also expected that I'll inspect the damage afterwards. Sometimes, I'm just sent to bed.

Spanky: We don't have any particular techniques or signals to indicate the spanking is almost done. I do like Girl's idea of counting down at the end with some more severe swats, and we will have to give that a try. What generally happens immediately after spanking is fellatio for me, followed by sex. The sequence of spanking, BJ, and sex is now ingrained into our daily ritual.

Thanks again for your inspiration!

Hermione: I usually know a spanking is nearing its conclusion when the pace quickens and the spanks come much faster. They may also be somewhat harder than earlier ones. For Ron, my state of sexual arousal determines when he will bring the spanking to an end. He'll also stop if he sees any real damage to my bottom, but that's very rare. When he puts the implement down, we always make love.

Paul: I am strongly of the opinion that the Top/Dom should know his bottom/sub so well that he can read her body language and should know when a spanking should end.

Spanking punishments are a set number of strokes or time and always end with the last strokes being the hardest.

Whatever sort of spanking, after care is mandatory. This may include a tight hug and affirmation that you still love her and all is clear between you and any first aid that may be necessary. With us, any other sort ended with hot, loving sex.

PM Duo: Generally, I let him make the decision about when to end. I always know he's almost finished because he'll slow down and the swats are softer and more caressing because his interest is going in other directions. Spanking is a precursor to lovemaking for us, so that's always the next step!

Tom: Often at the end of a spanking, I will have swan kiss the last implement I've used on her and say, "Thank you for my spanking, Sir."

That signals to her it's time to sigh with relief and know her spanking is finally at an end, and not just paused for some stroking or selection of another implement.

Occasionally, I will respond to her thanks with, "You... are... very... wel... come," with each syllable punctuated with a swat to provide her four final whacks and to end the proceedings memorably for her.

Todd and Suzy: Honestly, I have never really thought about it before, but there indeed is a ritual to the ending of most spankings. If it's an erotic spanking, the actual spanking slowly morphs from spanking-spanking to spanking-erotic to erotic-spanking to erotic-erotic. That rhythm and pace is dictated by how turned-on we are. It’s very much like foreplay to sex.

Otherwise, the other types of spankings pretty much always feature a hard final spank. In fact, the last spank of a spanking is always the hardest single spank of the entire session. It doesn't matter whether it's role play, fun or a real discipline spanking, there is a build-up to the last spank. During discipline, there is usually a very brief scolding before the last one. It goes something like, “You had better not find yourself in this position again, or the next spanking is going to be even worse... Understand?” WHACK!

The build-up during other kinds of spankings is obviously more playful, but there is indeed a build-up to a final *hard* spank. It can come with a question such as, “Now this is the last one. Do you know what that means?” Then there are several “fake” swats. The hand or paddle is on her bottom, then is lifted and on the way back down, fast and hard, stops at the last moment. The bottom tenses, breath is held, tension is, but there is no spank. Not that time at least. It will come though!

It pretty much works that way at spanking parties too. However, I do notice that many spankers have no way of ending a session other than basically saying, “Okay, we're done.” I believe there is very much a little ritual to close a spanking.

Greenwoman:Wow, Tom's way of ending a spanking is quite sexy. *grins*

M's way of ending a spanking was to use a specific rhythm. I hadn't ever thought of it before now. I like this question, because you've reminded me of something that I used to really like about his spankings. He would always end with the three hardest swats of all in a waltzing sort of rhythm, the fourth in the cycle, bring to bring his hand down gently to rub my bottom and then curve his hand around my hip to draw me into a new position. Sometimes, it was for other sorts of play. Other times, it was to curl into a spoon with my hot bottom against his groin and his arms around me.

Good memories....*smiles*

DG: It has taken me somewhere very lovely, still and quiet. I rather think that every ending is different, as others have said. Yet I know there are elements of ritual that we observe. At times, I am asked if I have been punished enough (I am sure he knows how I will answer). Only once have I nodded in answer to that question. There are always physical and emotional signals that it is coming to an end. Examples include pace, strength of the strokes, the way our eyes meet, and the way he holds me or I touch him. But I actually think that the proper end only comes some time after, after the cuddling, after the quiet conversation, when I am dressed and have returned to work cooking, walking, or whatever everyday activity I need to attend to, and I am undertaking it with a very sore, red and burning bottom and a lightness of spirit. And it is this that is the same at the end of every spanking, and it is this that is the real close.

Anon VII: When we do over-the-lap, I let my rather long middle finger brush against her most private area as I lift my hand following each of the last several spanks before the grand finale, which is three hard ones on the lower-center area followed by gentle stroking of her bottom with my fingertips.

When we use the paddle for stress-relief, usually after an over-the-lap warm up, I tell her how many she's going to get (typically five on tight pants or three on panties or the bare, laid on hard), and she understands that breaking position (usually the ankle-grab) will result in one or more extra swats tacked on at the end. Even though she knows when the end is coming, I usually say something like "Last one, love," make her wait a little extra time, pat her bottom two or three times with the board, and then deliver the swat full-force.

For us, the after-care is an important part of the ritual, especially after a paddling. I take her over my lap again and spray on Medi-Quick or Solarcaine, followed by applications of aloe and ice. The process is deliberately protracted to allow the pain to subside, libido to heighten, and affectionate feelings to build.

Finally, I pick her up in my arms and carry her to bed, where intense lovemaking invariably follows.

Bonnie: Randy, like Thomas, employs a variety of different techniques. Many times, though, he seems to fade out more than build up. This progression is much as PM Duo describes. He starts to mix in rubbing and before long, we’ve crossed the line into lovemaking. This is usually the way our spankings conclude.

Thanks to everyone who contributed this week. I hope you’ll join us again next Sunday for another spanko discussion.

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