Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Feb 22

Our topic of the week was the video recording of spanking sessions. As I had hoped, this subject generated a wonderful variety of responses.

Dragon Mage: Luvbunny and I have video recorded a few of our spanking sessions. At first, it was strange (I really don't like to see myself on the video, and luvbunny didn't either), but watching the video together can be very erotic.

We have shared a couple of the videos with some close friends, but we are rather careful who else gets to see them.

Daisychain: No, I have never been video recorded during a spanking. However, this is something we have talked of doing. We have agreed that IF we do, it will be for our eyes only... STRICTLY for our eyes only. We have both thought it could be quite sexy to watch it over again, but we would both feel very uncomfortable for anyone else to see it.

Irelynn: Being a spanking model, my views on this don't actually count! I didn't film any spankings before I started modeling though. I think I was mainly worried about privacy, since I didn't have a regular play partner that I could trust not to go public with the film.

I always wanted to be a "big screen" actress though. If only I were a bit more gifted in that department, I could have been the next Kate Winslet. ;-)

Of course your views count! Half the fun of brunch is hearing all of the different perspectives. As for talent, it’s all relative. Oscar or no Oscar, I’ll bet Kate Winslet can’t take a decent spanking.

Lil Sam: I have often thought that being video recorded while being spanked would be exciting and a real turn on. I have often fantasized about my very first adult spanking (if that ever happens) being video recorded. It would, of course, be just for my beloved partner (when I find one) and me to see. I really don't think I would want anyone else to see it.

Soma: I have had a video taped spanking that was actually part of my punishment. My spanker said he was going to record part of my next spanking and then would have me watch it as part of my punishment. It definitely was effective in making me feel a bit embarrassed and getting his point across. Though I was a little uncomfortable about being recorded and even more so being made to watch it later, I trusted him and was fine with him doing that. It was definitely effective to have me watch and I agree that it is another good form of discipline. The recording is not something I think I would normally ever agree to, but I trusted him. Plus, he made sure it never showed either of our faces and he said I could keep the tape. We erased it once it served its purpose, though I'm sure if he felt it was a good idea, we'd do the recording thing again.

Jean Marie: My lover suggested that we film a spanking session about half a year ago. I was game for it, but wanted the "actress" experience, so I dressed-up as a cheerleader. He set up a tripod, and we role played. It was even more fun knowing that it was being taped, but when we watched it afterward, the tape was so static, being stationary, that it didn't capture the thrill I felt inside. So my lover took the camera in his left hand and spanked me right-handed. The camera shook with every swat. (I think in Hollywood they have some kind of shock-absorbers on hand-held cameras).

Ever since, I've had a fantasy of inviting a girlfriend over to film us. In my mind, it's super sexy to think of her watching me take a good, hard spanking, getting turned-on, and joining us for a three-way love-making session after the shoot. But all of this is just a fantasy. I could never live that out in real life. But I think about it a lot!

Prefectdt: No, I have never participated in the video recording of a spanking.

Yes, I would like to have a spanking videoed. First, to satisfy my own curiosity as to what it looks like when I am under the lash. Secondly, I would like to post a couple of amateur clips, of one of my plays, on the blog and see how that goes down with the readers.

Roguebfl: The closest I've come is one or two "directed" spankings via webcam when my partner and I were far apart.

They could have been recorded.

I would love to have a spanking recorded, so that I could watch from the point of view of a witness

Jay: I have never been filmed during a spanking, but it would be cool. I'm not really a shy person, so I would have no problem with being filmed or even do a proper spanking film.

If I can put pictures of my battered butt on my blog, it’s only one more step to moving pictures, right?

This Girl: I did some spanking modeling stuff a few years ago. Prior to doing it, I thought that it all might feel a bit clinical, like it was more for the audience than the people taking part, or that I might have to fake things to make it look good.

But it turned out to be not like that. It was just a lot of fun with the added bonus of showing off a bit! I suppose it depends on the circumstances. I think if it’s filmed by someone who wants to portray a realistic and fun spanking, then it’s going to be good fun and brilliant all round. But I guess there are also people out there doing it only for commercial reasons. I guess if it was for that reason only, I wouldn’t enjoy it so much. Like any form of BDSM, it has to be fun. There’s no point otherwise.

I suppose there are concerns when doing stuff that you know other people are going to see. I feel this same way about pictures on my blog. I wonder whether people might think negative things about my body when there are far hotter people out there or they might think I'm kidding myself that I should be doing it. But, mostly, I've only played with people who make me feel good about myself. I wouldn't let anyone capture anything on photo or film if the people involved were making me feel worthless or ugly.

Penfold: Like Soma, Bear has also recorded one of our DD spankings. I found it really embarrassing to have the camera on my peach and the rest of me. For that fact, it made for a rather interesting DD session. But unlike Soma, I have yet to watch it (although Bear tells me that it is a very good watch). I hate watching myself, and haven’t had the courage to watch this yet. But Bear told me that if I don’t watch it soon, there might be trouble... EEEEPPPP!

Anon: I have often fantasized about what it would be like to have a spanking recorded on video. I would be curious to just to see what I look like in that situation. But in the end, I think I'm just too shy, and I have no doubt that my husband would never agree on that. He agreed to spank me ever so often, but taping it is just taking it a step too far for him. Maybe one day we will and, if so, it will be strictly private. So, for now, I'll just enjoy clips of others brave enough to do that.

Tiggs: I've only had one video recorded of me being spanked... It was by Dante, of course, and it was a punishment spanking. The video was meant to be part of the punishment. It definitely added to the angst of the spanking. There were lots more nerves on my end.

But afterwards, it was interesting that I wanted to replay it and Dante didn't even want to look at it. He got rid of it after replaying it the one time for me. But I really, really liked it, in a way that kind of scared me at the time.

Now, though, I don't feel nearly as pretty or attractive as I once did (not that I ever saw myself as gorgeous or anything even close before). There's no interest at all on my end these days to video tape it. It's for me and Dante's pleasure alone!

Ms. Betty: I did that once, for the express purpose of showing it to the members of my Yahoo groups.

I don't think I'd do it again, though. Correction, I would not do it the way we did it.

I didn't mind being on film or having others see it, but since it was just the two of us we ended up managing the camera ourselves and I found that distracting. When I spank, I like to have all of my attention focused on the task at hand, rather than divided between "am I swatting hard enough" and "is the camera staying on?"

I didn't much care for the headaches of preparing the video for web use, either. Technology is not Ms. Betty's strong suit. It came out grainy and a bit warped looking.

So I can't say I wouldn't do it again, but I can say I'd only do it if someone else (not the bottom) were handling the technical aspects.

Our Bottoms Burn: We were early adopters of the VCR camera, so we have some "ancient" recordings from that era. We also have a few modern digital recordings. Sometimes, we like to see how we were.

Hermione:

Never have. Never would.
No way. No how.

Zille Defeu: Being another adult model, I get to help skew the results! ;)

Obviously, I've made a number of videos in which I've been spanked or flogged or what-have-you. I've also done any number of them where I was the spanker! I know -- strange to consider, huh? But I think that being a spanking bottom most of the time, I can dish out a very satisfactory spanking when the need calls for it! ;)

They were all very good experiences, except for one video I did where the producer/director did not respect me at all. I had to really fight for my rights as a model and "bottom." (This is actually one of the videos that is out there on the internet. I won't say which, but I will note that the producer was *female*, which will probably come as a surprise to most people!)

Most recently, I did a spanking video in Australia (how cool is that?!) and that was pretty much the most fun you can have without actually exploding from pleasure!

I'm really looking forward to doing some more spanking videos, both for my own blog, and for spanking sites. But I have a long career of making adult content (photo and video) behind me, and I really am trying to focus more on *being a photographer* nowadays!

Bonnie: I believe I’ve told this story before, so I will endeavor to be brief (just this once).

Some years ago, Randy decided that he wanted to video tape (yes, it was a LONG time ago) one of our spanking sessions. I was reluctant, but in his charming way, he convinced me to try it. He set up a borrowed camera on a tripod, pulled me over his lap, and proceeded to deliver a well executed bottom whacking. Once we got into it, I almost forgot about the camera.

Later that evening, he asked if I wanted to watch myself. Those words sent a shiver through me. As so often happens in the world of spanking, anticipation, worry, eagerness, and dread get all mixed up together. We played the tape on our television in the den after our daughter was safely asleep.

I was immediately aghast! I thought we would be watching a spanking. What I saw instead looked like gyno-cam! That thing was pointed right into my privates with gigantic jiggling butt cheeks situated on either side. It looked like cheap porn. All it needed was some corny dialogue and a watery sound track. To me, the spanking seemed almost secondary. Having Randy tell me how beautiful I looked didn’t help at all.

Randy assures me that tape no longer exists, but I wouldn’t be at all surprised to learn the video survived in some electronic format. In any case, I think our film careers are over.

Padme Amidala: I have participated in several video recordings of my spankings. We shared a few short videos of a few spankings on our blog, Journey to the Darkside. We have shared them with many friends and our readers.

I think it's fun to have a recording of the spanking so I can watch it and remember what it was like. :)

Thanks to everyone who contributed to this week’s brunch. I hope you will join us again next time.

MBS Spanko Brunch #162

Have you ever wanted to be a star? Do you wish you could appear on the big screen, or perhaps just a small one? If so, this week's topic is just for you.

Have you ever participated in video recording a spanking? If so, how did you feel about the experience? Did you share your video with anyone else? If not, would you consider recording a spanking in the future? Why or why not? Under what circumstances would you consider this activity?

If you would like to share your perspectives, I invite you to leave a comment below. Once everyone has had a chance to register their viewpoint, I will post an edited summary of our discussion.

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Feb 15

Our topic of the week was the relationships among spankings, love, romance, and pain. Here are your responses.

Todd and Suzy: We're talking about a similar topic on our blog this week. It's a good time of year to ask how romantic spanking can be... :)

For us, a spanking can definitely be romantic. That's especially true with an erotic one, though it's certainly possible with other kinds of spankings too. Even a discipline one can be romantic. The words used during a spanking, expressions of love and caring, as well as gentle/sensual aftercare can make for a very romantic atmosphere. The exchange of trust can supercharge that feeling even further.

That feeling isn't first and foremost with every spanking. Some spankings are far more playful or sexual, or even sensation based. But love is a part of every spanking we share.

Dr. Ken: Spanking is most definitely a caring act of love. And as we are so often reminded, there is a very thin line between pain and pleasure...

Natty: A promised spanking during a moment of uncertainty in our relationship was the most romantic gesture ever made to me. Spanking can most definitely be romantic.

Daisy: Oh, yes, yes, yes!

Otherwise, why would it be done in a loving relationship?

It shows bonding, trust, an interest in behaviour modification. Also, communication is an integral part of any successful spanking relationship, and keeping the communication going helps to develop the relationship and stop the couple from drifting. I love the feeling of connection when Davey spanks me. I love that he cares enough about me to want to do this. And romantic? Certainly. When he kisses the spot he is going to, or just has, spanked, when he rubs the pain away. When we kiss afterwards, when he tickles and spanks alternately, or explores between spanks... There are so many ways.

morningstar: In our relationship, there are most definitely two styles of spanking. One is all about the pain. These are about finding that place for both of us where the pain brings us to a new height, bonds us tighter together, and satisfies a more primal desire.

On the other hand, there are times when we celebrate life together with more sensual spankings. The same toys that had me crying and wailing the last time now have me sighing and wiggling.

The difference between the two is how Sir uses the toys, and how He uses His body. The toys stroke and caress and tease a lot more before they hit. Sir will stand close behind me. He is so close, sometimes, that I can feel His body heat against my naked body. Sir will lean in and bite my neck, nibble on my shoulder, caress the areas being spanked, and more. .His touch will be soft and sensual. By the time He is finished spanking me, my knees are weak and my heart is all aflutter...

I wouldn't select one over the other as being best. It all depends on mood. Each is the best for the day, the mood, the challenge.

Hermione: Spanking is always an expression of love between us. Each spanking is Ron's demonstration that he loves me as he gives me that delightful pain/pleasure mixture I crave so much. It is always romantic because it is part of the physical expression of our love for and commitment to one other.

Paul: Of course, spanking can be romantic. That's a given. Erotic or good girl spankings are romantic, but any spanking can be so if given with love.

Jam: Spankings have always been erotic in nature for me. They can lead into sex. There is a fine line between pain and pleasure. Spankings are very much so an expression of love.

Kate: Everyone else has expressed the feelings just well. So I'll just say, YEP!

Pammie: I don't know if I would call spanking "romantic," but it is *definitely* a turn-on and *definitely* very sensual for my partners and me. When the spanking or paddling starts, I giggle, swoon, and writhe. It's a turn-on even after it starts to hurt. Yes, for me, sensual pleasure and pain – the yin and yang of love-making – are intertwined.

Ronnie: Oh, yes. It’s definitely an expression of love.

I was spanked with roses for my birthday, the ones without thorns. It was painful, erotic, and romantic. It also demonstrates loving, caring, trust, and communication all bundled together.

Measha: I think spanking in itself is an act of love. The willingness to adventure into this word is a huge gesture of love.

For us, there are fun spankings and there are discipline spankings. Both show me how much TJ loves me and cares for me.

Anon #1: Spanking is always foreplay with us. Sex always follows, so it's definitely about expressing love. Is it "romantic?" Well, we've been married almost ten years now. Even sex isn't always romantic. Spanking has definitely made our sex life hotter though. Romance has to include romantic dialog for me. I'd love to have more romance in my spankings though!

Tom: Spanking has always been my most favored expression of connection, intimacy, excitement, eroticism and, sometimes, fun. In that all of these are, at times, aspects of expressing love and romance... HELL, YES!

Anon #2: In my experience, spankings have been more about lust than love, though I hope that's partly due to the fact that I have very little experience and none with a serious partner. I'd imagine that they could be about love between a couple if they both enjoyed it and it was for the purpose of mutual happiness with that theme. Spanking is about so much more than physical pain, including love.

Matt: When I haven't been acting stupid and earning punishment spankings, my wife has been giving me sexy play spankings. These last quite a while, involve a considerable amount of inappropriate touching, and some role playing. She does these things because she knows I love them and I pay her back with things she loves too.

The punishment spankings she has dealt out show me her love for me too. At a base level, she knows I crave the spanking and is therefore giving me what I want. But she also knows they hurt and will change my behavior. I don't want her to be upset because of something I have done, and the spanking gives her a way to "make amends" in a quick and reliable manner. So all of that contributes to the "love" in our marriage.

The entire spanking 'thing' has brought us much closer together. We now spend time cuddling on the couch or making out in the hallway. None of that happened before.

Love4her: No.... Darn it. Yes and yes.

Bonnie: Spanking is definitely an expression of love for us. For Randy and me, it’s another form of lovemaking. It can be very romantic, especially when the scene is set just right.

As for the pain being romantic, I think it can be, but the link is somewhat indirect. The way the pain makes me feel opens me to romantic overtures. But without the pain, we could never reach the same level of intimacy.

Thanks, everyone, for your great responses!

MBS Spanko Brunch #161

Many places are still trapped in the frozen clutches of winter. Here at MBS, however, this weekend marks the coming of Valentine's Day, the holiday dedicated to love, warmth, and all that accompanies them.

Accordingly, our question of the week considers romance, in a slightly kinky context.

Do you and/or your partner demonstrate your love through spanking? Can pain be an expression of love? Can it be romantic?

If you would like to register your response to our question, please leave a comment below. Once everyone has had a turn, I will post an edited summary of our discussion.

Rambling with Randy

As many longtime readers know, my husband, Randy, serves as a silent partner in this blog. We have conclusively established that he has no desire to write for MBS. Nor has he any interest in the day-to-day machinations of running a busy blog.

And yet, he has a story to tell and I happen to know that it’s a good one. I believe I’ve finally found a medium in which he is (reasonably) comfortable. We had a discussion before our regular spanking on Friday evening and, with his permission, I made an audio recording. He said I could ask whatever I wanted, but I had to include in the blog whatever he said. He later amended that last provision so that any edits had to be approved by him.

What follows is a transcription of our talk. We were lying on the bed, still clothed, but with spanking toys lying about in preparation for the fun yet to come.

- - - - -
B: OK, here’s your first question. What is it that you enjoy about spanking?

R: I think you’re beautiful. I enjoy exploring your body in every way. Even at age 51, you’ve got a sensational ass. It just begs to be spanked, and come to think of it, your mouth asks me to spank [your bottom] sometimes as well. Spanking is the perfect foreplay. It’s like a super aphrodisiac and it works on both of us.

B: What do you consider to be the purpose of spanking for us?

R: You mean besides making your ass hurt? (laughs) You said once that it’s like a connection between us and I believe it. After a spanking and sex, we are closer than at any other time. Besides that, it’s a great stress reliever for you.

B: How do you decide which implements you want to use and how hard you want to spank?

R: I try to change things up and not always do the same thing. Sometimes, I discover [a position or implement that] I have overlooked and it works really well. I try not to fall into a rut with the spankings, but I still do. [For example,] that curved handled brush works so well, I hate to put it down.

B: I must agree that the dogleg brush is very effective. Moving along, I have said that there is a kind of a magical moment that happens immediately before a spanking. Would you agree?

R: No doubt. For me, it’s when you’re over my lap and I grab the hem of your skirt – especially if it’s like a dark colored wool business suit – and slide it up to gradually unveil the treasure beneath. Then comes the slip and the pantyhose and the panties. By the time I touch that gorgeous skin for the first time, I’m completely turned on.

B: I enjoy that ritual too. What advice would you give to a couple who wants to explore spanking for the first time?

R: You’ve covered most of that stuff in your tutorials. But for me, the secret is communication. You have to talk about it so you’re both on the same page.

B: You have a special love of surprises, especially when they involve spanking. Why is that?

R: Well, it’s fun. I love to watch the look on your face when you realize you’re about to get spanked in a time or place you never expected. I have to say [that] you’re a good sport and usually play along pretty well.

B: How do you feel about the blog?

R: It’s a mixed bag, at least for me. I know you love it and you help a lot of people. I acknowledge that more happy spankos makes this a better world. It’s also by far the best venue for your writing you’ve ever had. I’m happy that you’ve found good friends and lots of success.

It also keeps us both thinking about spankings, and that's got to be a good thing!

But I also think the time you devote to the blog gets out of hand sometimes. I’ve seen you spend four hours straight just answering mail. That’s not even writing articles. Other times, you get so stressed out that it takes a hard paddling to set you right again.

B: I definitely appreciate your unique contribution. What’s your favorite part of My Bottom Smarts?

R: You mean other than the smarting bottom?

B: Right.

R: I’d say it’s the Keyword Chaos. That’s just some funny shit. I love helping write the punch lines.

B: When did you first become interested in the subject of spanking?

R: Heh, I’d love to say when I saw your ass for the first time. But that was only when I became totally obsessed. Really, it was when I was a kid. There were a lot of spankings in TV shows and movies in the sixties. I’d sit and watch and hope for one of those scenes to come up. They drove my fantasies for years.

B: Have you any desire to spank another woman?

R: Hoo boy. Desire? Yeah, I desire all kinds of things like going to the moon and sleeping with JLo, but they aren’t going to happen. You’re all I can handle, Bon.

B: …And even that’s in doubt occasionally.

R: Are you going to leave that recorder on while I spank you?

B: No.

R: Then turn it off.

(Click)

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Feb 8

Our topic of the week was restraint and spanking. Here are your experiences and insights.

Anon VII: We don't use or need them. In fact, she often lets me know that she wants some special attention in a subtle way by what she wears or with the eyes and voice. In less subtle ways, she can make a big show of bending over to pick something up or by leaving an implement (usually the long paddle) on my desk. If she chooses to tell me in a very straightforward way, she will give me a naughty-girl smile and bend over (and flipping up a skirt if she's wearing one) or draping herself over my lap.

We also have an understanding that when our mutual favorite mode of spanking, namely the paddling, is employed, I'm very fussy about positioning. We spin that process out as part of building anticipation and excitement in us both. I often remind her that breaking position even slightly (such as removing even one hand from a knee or letting go of an ankle) can result in an extra swat. That, I suppose, is a sort of restraint, except that she sometimes breaks position on purpose to get a little more than what I've told her she's getting.

As far as real restraints go, I've no hankering for them. She'd never go along with them, any more than she'd accept a punishment spanking. Ours are almost exclusively erotic with some occasional really hard stuff for tension-relief. Perhaps what it boils down to is that she finds getting into, and maintaining, position almost as much of a turn-on as getting popped. Plus, we both hate any sort of confinement against our will.

Todd and Suzy: Other than using feet and hands to restrain, no, we never have used restraints. It is something we've talked about trying though. We're certainly open to the idea. Even during a playful spanking, there is usually some holding back hands and/or legs. Blocking and kicking is a natural enough reaction to a spanking. It does hurt!

Adding some physical restraint into the mix would allow for more focus on the actual spanking... without any worry about blocking and kicking. It’s definitely something we'll try one day. We are pretty fond of the more direct contact though... thus the lack of rush to actually try something else. But it is on the list!

Rogue: We do not use restraints due to the fact I tend to freak-out when I'm restrained. The closest we come is the restraint that comes with the OTK position.

Frank Spanko: Yes, Angela and I will occasionally use restraints. Since both of us are not prone to attempt to "escape" from a spanking, because we like getting them, the restraints serve more to heighten sexual tension. Being helpless brings a sense of anticipation of what may be coming next. And, in case you are concerned, since I am an imaginary spanko, I am indeed making this up. Sort of.

Frank, your imaginary wisdom actually makes a good bit of sense.

Dragon Mage: Luvbunny and I do occasionally use both rope and some nylon restraints during a spanking, but in most cases we do not.

It does change things a bit, as she is not able to move away or put arms/legs in the way. There is, however, something to be said for the simple restraint of me holding her over my knee.

Jean Marie: I, too, am given extras if I move when being disciplined by my stickler of a lover, but we use restraints sometimes. We have velcro wrist and ankle straps, so when I'm restrained, I can't move much at all. I like them on when I'm being caned. I also like them when we're having anal sex. Although my lover is gentle, it helps me think that I'm powerless, that I didn't agree to this dirty deed, that I'm being taken...

Dante d'Amore: I use them sometimes when a really hard spanking is coming. It's for protection - MINE.

Anon #1: It depends on the intensity of the activity. For most things, I require no restraint because my partner holding my hands out of his way is enough. For other things, such as caning or figging, I need to be tied down tightly.

If I'm not, I either move ( and risk being hit somewhere unsafe) or lose part of the experience because I can writhe away from some of the pain. Part of it, too, is pleasure. My most intense orgasms are usually when I'm tied down tightly and cannot control what happens to me.

M:e: We do use sometimes use restraints in our “play,” though not in any specific or consistent circumstances. It’s purely as his mood dictates (yeah, it’s a control thing... LOL).

Most often, though, he prefers mental restraint… I guess that's because I'm a wriggler and so that's a control thing too!

Daisy: Gosh, yes! It’s wonderful... I don't have to worry about disobeying and moving. I have to just lay there, helpless to save myself (not that I could anyway!), and focus on the actual pain... and pleasure!

Also, sometimes for a punishment spanking, he fixes my wrists and ankles. This is all part of the psychological game! Occasionally, when he feels I am in the right headspace, he releases me part way through, to see if I will stay obedient and not move. The really difficult part is afterward, when he is kissing all the pain away... He has a VERY inaccurate tongue, LOL. He TOTALLY misses the sore area, if you get my drift! That’s when staying still is an incredible challenge, but one I must rise to, because if I move without permission, even a tiny wriggle, I am tied again and he spanks, kisses and licks until I nearly pass out!

Of course, the restraints are always more of a symbolic thing, because I know all I have to do is say the safeword, and it will be over.

He has used a gag too, not a bought one, just a scarf. In that situation, I have to hold a hanky in my hand, and if I let go of it, he stops (the silent safeword!)

Tied, gagged, or free, I am always completely confident that I am safe in my Davey’s care. I don't think restraints should be used unless there is utter trust between two people.

I was very embarrassed, though, when we forgot to remove them one day in the motel where we stayed for vacation. We went out and the maid couldn’t fail to have seen them! He looked at me spazzing out and laughed. He said, “I am going to try to get your ass to match that incredible shade of blush red in a minute!”

Prefectdt: I will answer this question in parts, if that's OK.

"Do you and your partner ever employ physical restraints as a part of your spankings?" – Yes, loads of times. I like to play with a woman at least couple of times, so that I know I can trust her, before I allow a "tie down." But after that, bring it on.
"What sort of restraints do you use?" – Anything from purpose made leather cuffs/ankle restraints, handcuffs, St. Andrew’s crosses and other spanking/BDSM furniture to impromptu bits of rope, trouser belts and other stuff just lying around. Clean tea towels make surprisingly comfortable and effective restraints.

"How do they change your spanking experience?" – Being a bit of a dancer and squirmer, when taking some, it lets me off the hook a little. I don’t have to concentrate on controlling my physical reactions during play. This makes it easier to get my mind in the right place. Many women that I have talked to, say that they like the psychological effect of "total control" when they have a guy tied down.

Hermione: We have restraints, but we rarely use them. I am too well-behaved to ever leave the scene of a spanking before it's over.

I do enjoy being restrained, though. Just thinking about it as I composed this response in my head made me quite eager for our next encounter. I might even suggest it.

Anon #2: Absolutely! Cuffing my lady ensures that she stays put for the duration. Tying her across a table, with pillows placed under her for comfort, really makes her look quite sexy.

She likes to be blindfolded, therefore not knowing when the spankings will come. I also like to gag her, as I like hearing her muffled cries. We do have safe signals. She holds a ball in her hand and also has a tune she hums if she needs to slow or stop.

Our Bottoms Burn: We don’t use them often, but Becall does like to be restrained. One favorite is being tied to a tree in the forest. She likes her wrists tied over a door with her legs separated by a spreader bar and that sort of thing.

If there were a pirate ship where she could be tied to the mast for flogging, she would be all over it.

In short, restraints are not to hold her in position, but purely to enhance her fantasy. More often, I tell her she cannot move until she has taken all of her paddle licks.

morningstar: Sir uses restraints from time to time. They range from chains to ropes and everything in between.

In the play room, we have a very nice St Andrew's cross to which Sir will attach my leather cuffs (ankles and wrists) with clips. Or He will clip me up to the chains in the ceiling. Or He might use ropes and bind me to the bed...

I actually prefer restraints. I am absolutely no good at "holding the position." I need/want/crave the freedom of restraints, and I do love to do the subby jig when the whips and quirts start their dance across my skin. Once the fairies come, I am thankful for the support of the restraints.

In fact, my fairies rarely come if I am "holding the position" without support. My mind and body are, I guess, too busy holding still and holding position to allow for the mind to soar...

Tiggs: We've used them plenty (don't listen to my dear old Dante, LOL) and not JUST for his protection. I'm usually quite good at maintaining a position or enduring whatever Dante has planned.

But, sometimes, it is really nice NOT to have to worry about whether I can endure it. The restraints we've used range from handmade leather, ropes, handcuffs, fuzzy handcuffs, whatever is convenient.

None of them would truly hold me if I chose to really fight for my life. But they've done exactly what we both wanted at the time. They allowed me to not worry about accepting the spanking (or whatever) and just enjoy and truly feel each and every sensation and my body's response to it.

Pammie: Yes! Of course! I absolutely love being restrained for spanking – and other activities. (snicker)

For my last spanking (which was a week ago-- gosh, has it been that long?), we did a twist on the traditional wooden kitchen chair scenario. He told me to lie across the chair and then, proceeded to tie my hands and feet to the chair with rope and spank me with the evil hairbrush. For other spankings, I have been hogtied with rope and tied to a spanking bench with rope. My new leather cuff and chain restraint set – which I designed – is awaiting its spanking debut.

For me, bondage is relaxing and calming, in a mysterious and unexplainable way. Bondage + spanking + blindfolding takes me to a different world. OK, just call me kinky.

Pammie, you’re in fine company

Roissy Fille: Sometimes we do and sometimes we don't. Spontaneous spankings mean that there is not the time to plan but...

I have a pair of beautiful leather wrist cuffs that my darling bought for me. I love to wear them and hate to take them off. We have some great times with those.

However, it's not always practical (don't you hate that word when it comes to playtime?) as we now have one of our kids moved back home after college. Such moments, for now, have to be grabbed when possible.

Anon #3: Yes please, and quite often. It heightens my pleasure, knowing that, once tied, there is no way I can remove my bottom from the firing line. I have to totally trust D not to overdo things.

Of course, we have a safe word, but I have never had to use it. Those weird positions sometimes shown on the net, are not for us. But I need to be bound so that I really can't escape. There can be no 'pretend' ties. We have some leather cuffs with little locks, so I can't get up until the key comes from D's pocket.

I also need to be reasonably comfortable. We have a padded trestle for me to bend over, ankles and wrists tied to each leg. Sometimes, I lie over a pillow on the bed, hands tied behind me, well clear of the target, ankles tied together. It’s difficult to get up from there without help. Of course, there is the table, where hands and ankles tied to each leg. D likes to spank my bottom offered, just as he requires, and these restraints do just that.

As for gags, no, they make me dribble. I like to yell and D likes to hear my yells. Also, no safe word is possible, but a blindfold is fun. I lie there helpless, not knowing what is about to land on my bottom. Then he makes me guess, what has just spanked me.

When the spanking is over, I can't have a rub until he decides to let me go, and this may be much later or after he has had his wicked way with me!

Red: I've only been restrained in a mostly symbolic way (hands tied with ribbons), as I'm pretty good at maintaining position. I do fantasize about the real thing – you know, sturdy restraints that keep me immobile and with no expectation of escape.

Em: We do incorporate restraints into our scenes and I find them to be a very multifaceted implement.

One of my first kinky purchases was a pair of leather wrist cuffs lined with sheepskin. They are still one of my very favorite toys although we hardly ever use them in play now. Some nights, if I need to relax and escape the "real world," I put them on before bed. I can't tell you how calming they can be!

What types of restraints do we use? Wrist and ankle cuffs are the most common, but we also incorporate rope and spanking furniture as well. While (as you might have guessed) I love the wrist cuffs, I am not a huge fan of ankle cuffs or rope and these are mostly used to increase the feeling of helplessness in a scene.

I find that using restraints completely changes the scene for me. I'm fairly good at staying in position unassisted, but it takes a mental restraint which, of course, alters my reactions to what is being done to me. Scenes like this are great for when I'm feeling a little out of control in the rest of my life, or when I feel a need to prove what a good girl I can be.

When I'm restrained I don't have to worry about holding still since something else is taking care of that. In these scenes, I'm free to struggle, which can be fun all on its own. I also tend to vocalize more when restrained. I find it hard to stay still when I'm making noise so I try to keep quiet in scenes where I can't move.

Of course, my favorite kind of restraint? Someone's arm over my back holding me down. Mmm.

Zille Defeu: My Master and I have used physical restraints/bondage in our playtime. He’s not so big into the rope-bondage thang, because he has other things he’d rather be doing than spending half an hour getting me into intricate bondage – namely, spanking me or strapping me or caning me or slippering me… You get the idea!

However, I quite enjoy bondage – anything from elaborate shibari to a pair of handcuffs. I love being held down firmly to something and knowing that no matter how much I squirm, I ain’t going nowhere! I know I’m not alone in saying that it makes me feel safe, despite the obvious incongruity of that!

So, whenever my Master feels like putting the leather cuffs on my wrists and ankles, and clipping me to the “spanking chair of doom,” he has a willing victim. Not that I’m not always willing, but perhaps just that wee bit even more eager!

A big future DIY kinky project for us is putting these fabulous nautical attachments onto the base of the bed. These are a metal D-ring that fold down into their attachment, so that they are out of the way when not in use, and no one has to bump their shins into them! And they just look really kinky, too, which is always important!

I really want to explore being bound down securely to the bed, unable to move, and have my Master really let his inner-sadist out to play. (Wait – what am I talking about, “inner”?!) I know it would hurt like all-get-out, and it’s not something one would desire all the time, but I’m pretty sure he’d enjoy it, and since I’m already fantasizing about it, it would just be one of those really intense things that you fantasize about beforehand, just grit your teeth and get through when it happens, and then have astounding orgasms after!

Sadly, my Master does seem to generally prefer to see me using all my self control to maintain position whilst he canes me or straps me. Phooey, I say to that! Where’s the fun for me in having to hold myself in place despite the pain?! Oh, wait, right, he’s a sadist…. ;)

(Although, when it does come down to it, the best bondage of all is his hands and his body. Much more personal, and, errrr, hands-on...!)

Anon #4: Hi. I've been a reader for over a year now, and I think it's high time I respond to a brunch, though I prefer to remain anonymous for now.

I have fairly limited experience in real life with this, though my fantasies revolve around it. I love the idea of using a leather belt, still warm from being worn as a wrist restraint. I don't think I'd enjoy rope or metal cuffs. Those are too rough and impersonal for my taste. The romance has to be there all the way through for me.

I’m glad you decided to join us. Do stop back!

Dr. Ken: Speaking just for myself, no. I’ve never used them, and probably never will. They have no appeal to me. I suppose if I had a partner who wished them, I'd try to oblige – but it doesn't add anything to the experience for me.

Michelle: My answer is sometimes. I enjoy both spanking and a bit of bondage. So, every so often, out come the velcro cuffs and I get attached to a door or a heavy piece of furniture and amongst other things, I get a warmed tush.

I like being tied down because it allows me to struggle without hurting myself or my husband. I can pull at my restraints, but I won't actually flail about into anything or him.

Anon #5: The only times we've used restraints have been when part of the "play." Even then, I can tell that my partner is very attentive to my signals and will usually release me before I even want that!

One example of when we used restraints was when we played that I was an unruly lady escorted by James Bond (yup, and my partner loved that fantasy as it gave him an excuse to use that dusty old tux!). Since I threatened to run away, I had my hands tied behind my back. After a bit of verbal abuse and wrestling, 'Bond' had enough and gave me a spanking. The thing is, being tied in that situation really turned on both of us. When we try it "out of play," it doesn't work for either of us. Funny that.

Oh, once I got stuck bent through the bars in a fence (don't ask...) and my partner seized the moment, so to speak. I suppose that was physical restraint if anything!

Thomas: While rare, I have used restraints in the past with a spanking scene, usually with a spanking bench. However, there have been a couple of times when I used the restraints by themselves, just to keep the girl still across my lap, or afterwards when I move on to other ideas. My favored restraints are some velcro "zipties" that I found at my job. Like normal velcro, there is one soft and fuzzy side, and one that's more like steel wool. By wrapping the soft side against the skin, though, you can make an effective, strong, and safe impromptu restraint.

Bonnie: For us, restraint is a spice we sometimes add to make our adventures more exciting. We’re not heavy players by any means, but we do own lined wrist and ankle cuffs, a homemade spreader bar, rope, and assorted bungees. Common (and occasionally uncommon) furniture also finds its way into Randy’s bondage designs.

A couple of years ago, Randy installed a large hook in the ceiling above the center of our bed. I’ve been struggling in vain ever since to concoct some sort of vanilla alibi.

For me, being restrained intensifies all of the feelings and emotions that accompany a spanking. I know I have nothing to fear, but there is still a kind of nervous anxiety I don’t otherwise experience. This sort of play also feeds many of my best submissive fantasies.

Safety is very important for us. We don’t like gags because they can obstruct airways. We don’t do full suspension because we lack the equipment and expertise to do it properly. We also avoid any sort of constricting bonds. We always use a safeword (green / yellow / red), especially when restraint comes into play. This may seem tame to some bondage enthusiasts, but it’s an arrangement that works well for us.

Thanks to everyone who shared their thoughts on restraint and spanking. As I had hoped, there was a broad range of valuable perspectives.

MBS Spanko Brunch #160

I can hardly believe it took me 160 weeks to get around to asking this question.

Do you and your partner ever employ physical restraints as a part of your spankings? If so, what sort of restraints do you use and how do they change your spanking experience? If not, would you consider any sort of restraints in the future?

If you would like to join our discussion (and I hope you will!), please leave a comment below. Once everyone has put in their thoughts, I will post an edited summary of our conversation.

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Feb 1

Our question dealt with the carryover of dominance and/or submission beyond the realm of spanking and into other aspects of life.

Daisy: Davey and I have an equal relationship in every way. But in decisions of importance, where we disagree, even after both of us have put our point of view, what Davey says stands. For example, if he thinks I should be in bed by a set time, and I have reasons for that not to be the case, I can explain to him civilly (angrily hurts, trust me... LOL). Then he will stick to or revise his decision. But, his decision is final. I have to say, much as it pains me, his decision has always turned out to not only be in my best interests, but also the right one. He does listen to my point of view and is man enough to acknowledge if I have a valid point. He makes his final decision after much thought and care. Davey is a man of patience and quiet wisdom. I am happy to bow to his decision, even if it doesn't seem so at the time!

Texringer: My beloved and I are mutual spankers, so we're evenly matched regarding submission/dominance in spanking and in our relationship otherwise as well. I could use a little more dominance in one area in fact. I used to have a friend who spanked me for missing my gym workouts, and that was not the fun, sexy kind. LOL But my guy is not comfortable being my "punisher." Ah, well, I'm blessed to have the love of my life enjoy spanking fun, so I'm not complaining!

Tiggs: Dante and I have tried a DD-type of arrangement, as well as a D/s sort of thing. But neither worked well for us, for a multitude of reasons. That being said, we are equals, but his word is final on almost everything, though of course I am encouraged to voice my piece on everything too.

But at this point in our lives and relationship (he has been my husband for 11+ years), the dominance and submission do not really carry over at all outside the realm of spanking and sex.

He doesn't feel (and I mostly agree, though we do have our different thoughts here) that it is his job to control me or punish or reward me for things that I do that are right or wrong in our daily life.

He might have a different take on this, so it will be interesting to see how he replies!

Zille Defeu: Well, as I’m a 24/7 slave to my Master, it’s a pretty high degree!

I love doing the wifely duties: cooking and cleaning, etc. And sexual service! Submitting to him day-to-day isn’t hard (and he is not a very demanding task master, and he often asks my opinions and desires – sometimes I can even choose the TV show!).

But it’s accepting punishment from him (in the form of the dreaded paddle) is the hardest submission for me. I need it, and actively want it… except for when it comes time for the actual punishment!

I find my submissive needs even more confusing than my masochism, and I spend not a small amount of time thinking about them and trying to figure them out. So far, I’ve learned that they are highly contradictory and all tangled up together.

And that having those needs met is deeply, profoundly satisfying.

Miss Leya: There is no definite answer for us. We don't do any kind of discipline. I know the power play during a spanking does bleed over into regular life. Little things usually, like him saying “no” to buying junk food. I'm also pretty sure I'm more likely to be what some might say "bratty." But then, we've always been the tease each other just a bit kind... for lack of a better way of putting it.

BTW, there's a new look, new place, etc. for me.

Miss Leya (Ofia)
http://makingtimeforsex.wordpress.com/

Welcome anew, Miss Leya! May your new blog be as successful as its predecessor.

Impish1: Not one little bit! We care for and do for each other, make decisions by who cares the most or who knows the most about a particular area, and generally function well and agreeably as a team. I love to tease that he's the boss. He will reply, "and don't you forget it!" one time and laugh, "yeah, right..." the next. We both know I like that in the bedroom, and so it's a fun game to tease and play with, but I don't think we'd like to live it. Sometimes I do fantasize about a bit of it for real in the realm of taking care of myself better and stress relief, taking the choice out of it... But I know it's just a fun little dream. Sigh.

Anon VII: The dominance/submissiveness of our spanking sessions is pure role-play to heighten sexual desire and fulfillment. In "real life," we're very much 50-50, with lots of compromises. On some things, such as politics and certain aspects of spirituality, we've been agreeing to disagree for years.

River: Nick is in control of me/us. I am very opinionated and more well-read than He is. So though we always discuss things as equals, and sometimes He defers to my experience or judgment, He always has the final say. I don't question Him without good reason, or sometimes, I protest slightly if I am in a bad mood. I feel safe, secure, loved, and taken care of because I know that Nick is responsible and good and has my best interests at heart.

Cathrine Grayce: I haven't yet found someone to spank me, but as a manager at a major retail company, I grow weary of being in control and yearn to give it up to the right person.

Janeen: The first few years of our marriage, we seemed to fight about everything! One day, I realized the things we were fighting about were not really that important to me.

It was then that I started letting him decide things, and our current relationship kind of developed from there. I would say that I am very much submissive to him (most of the time) in our everyday lives also, but not in a way that others would really notice.

Prefectdt: Outside of play, I am not submissive at all. That is why I describe myself as a bottom and not a sub. In vanilla life, I am very toppy and a bit pig-headed sometimes.

This is not unusual in male bottoms. The most obvious examples are TE Lawrence (of Arabia) and Emperor Augustus. When not getting their backsides roasted, one lead an army to victory and the other conquered and lead the Roman Empire.

morningstar: I almost didn't answer this Sunday Brunch question. Then, this morning, I was thinking the reverse of that.... Let me explain.

Yes, my submissiveness and Sir's dominance flows through every aspect of our life together – spanking, work, shopping, social events... a thread through everything.

Oh, that isn't to say that I don't have an opinion. It's just that Sir has the last word – as with so many of the other commenters today.

BUT what happens when there is only D/s and NO spankings. Doesn't it feel a little bit like something is broken? Off kilter? Mismatched?

Doesn't it put a wee bit of strain on the D/s side of things without the spankings? And I am not talking punishments. I am talking old fashioned spank me for fun.

Anyway, sorry Bonnie. I know that isn't where the question was supposed to go. But it seems it is where my mind is going this Sunday morning.

Some of our best discussions have been those that took off in a direction I hadn’t quite anticipated. No apologies are necessary.

Hermione: My submission extends to other areas in our relationship. Ron will sometimes act like a stern dom about household chores and I will respond with “yes sir” or “no sir,” but there's an underlying element of fun in it. Who says we don't roleplay?

In matters that require a decision, Ron casts the deciding vote. As long as I gracefully acknowledge that he's in charge, he usually asks my opinion. He may or may not agree with me immediately, but after a little time for reflection he often sees things my way. I prefer a quiet life, and agreeing without argument on small matters usually guarantees peace and harmony.

Then we each have our individual areas of expertise and responsibility, and Ron respects my authority just as much as I respect his, depending on the situation. Any time something that comes into the house marked "some assembly required," I am automatically in charge.

A: The boy and I have a completely egalitarian relationship, with no one in control. Though I can be pretty bossy, we share equal control in the relationship. Because of our particular kinks, we often tease each other in a non-sexual situation. Both being switches makes this relationship work. The boy smacking my butt in public, or growling a harsh word into my ear, or touching me under the table at dinner is pure fun.

The more I consider my spanking fetish, the more I realize it's because I need to be told I'm wrong, and get caught for it. Surrendering power sexually allows me to continue being self-assured and aggressive in real life. And I'm sure the boy wants to spank me every now and then because I can be bossy, and the release during sex keeps us healthy as a couple.

Alas, he will be away for two months, so I won't be able to enjoy any of the joys of spanking, kinky sex, or the pure ecstasy of waking up next to him.

A, may your time apart pass swiftly and serve to heighten the inevitable reunion.

Matt: My wife is in charge for domestic decisions. We share responsibility in most other areas. I am in charge for anything to do with the safety or security of the family.

Although new to spanking, this situation is pretty much how it has been during our marriage, certainly since we had kids. The only change is that now I get paddled for breaking her house rules instead of being yelled at or getting the cold shoulder.

Ronnie: Because we operate a business together, we share decisions and always have. That runs over into home life too. I would say that I defer to P’s wishes or point of view sometimes rather than argue, even if I think he’s wrong. But, in fairness to him, he will often review his initial decision and take my points on board anyway.

In matters carnal, I definitely and happily admit to enjoying taking a more submissive role, although it’s more often than not me doing the initiating. It works for us and neither of us see it as unnatural or conflicting in any way. Punishment is one sensitive area where we have been only few times. But I would welcome more in the right circumstances and would definitely be submissive. The thought of it bothers, intrigues and thrills me all at the same time.

There is a natural relationship between mates in all animals. I don’t think us humans are essentially any different.

Lucy: This is an interesting topic, and one about which I have been thinking a lot recently. In my day to day life, I tend to be a somewhat dominant, headstrong individual. Most people who come in contact with me, especially in a professional or academic context, would never even guess that I'm submissive. The only time that it ever shows in the rest of my life is when I'm around a powerful, dominant male. I tend to become a little more submissive, especially if he is in a position of power (boss, professor, etc.).

My fantasy is to have power and prestige in a professional setting, but to be submissive at home to my husband. I love power, but I have no desire to have control in a sexual or domestic situation. At some point it's nice to not have to worry about being in control and to know that someone else is making the decisions for once.

Dr. Ken: For me, the answer is, "Not a lot." It's like a favorite spice in the spice rack. I take it down and use it when I want or when it'll be beneficial to the dish I'm preparing. But I don't carry it around with me all the time and use it on everything...

K: Hubby and I are still experimenting with his dominance and my submissiveness. I think I have more submissive tendencies than Hubby is ready to embrace. So, we're taking things slow and learning how we can use the whole dynamic to enhance our relationship.

Love4her: The opposite is the problem for our relationship. I long to be the one spanked, but my wife does not possess a spanking gene or dominant gene. I am somewhat of a dominant personality. I tend to take charge of situations if there is an absence of direction. Sexually, I am also the dominant one in our relationship. I am not beyond making my desires known, however bizarre they may seem in her eyes, but she is vanilla. The more I look at the spanking thing, the more I want it.

I want it playful, sensual, erotic, and naughty. I even have a desire to be truly punished by her to the point of crying when I do things that upset her or fail to meet her needs. The dominant and submissive roles in our relationship make this unlikely. Hmm...

I have even joked about seeking a professional. As exciting as it sounds, I would never do it because I want my wife in that role. Going to another would be a total obliteration of the trust in our relationship. Now, if she knew of a spanker to send me to for my punishment, I would do that. But I am not holding my breath.

Jay: The short answer is YES.

The long answer is that I did have set rules to follow. If I broke one I was spanked. Does that count?

When I do find my Dom (and I will), I hope that there will be an equal share of discipline and erotic spankings.

They wouldn’t be for anything silly, you understand, but for things like swearing (which I'm trying to stop), drinking too much (I'm trying), losing my temper (happens too much) and the like.

Our Bottoms Burn: We have no carry-over outside of the bedroom. Heck, it is rare either of us can be submissive.

Cathrine Grayce: Working in a male-dominated corporate environment, I often wish that I could just be taken to task only ONCE for mistakes via a ruler or paddle and just get it all over with instead of having to be randomly reminded of mistakes which often aren't even mine, but for which I am responsible. That would never be allowed in a corporate environment. I am a manager with all those dominant type responsibilities. But outside of work (even during work where I can't allow it to show – I fake it really well), I am submissive. Every time my assistant makes a stupid mistake (which, unfortunately, is daily) I just want to take my yardstick and whack her on the butt until she promises to remember to do it right next time. There aren't any real consequences other than paperwork pointing out mistakes. Maybe after a good couple of whacks with a ruler she'd think twice about losing my department hundreds of dollars several times a day, which I am then responsible for. I don't even have a man at home to help me feel better by applying that yardstick in lieu of my boss. I'm just left feeling like I need something... So I guess I think about it at work and at home...

Indy: I'm much more submissive in my real life than in the scene.

OK, not really. :-) I'm just a bit more serious and a bit less fun. The extent to which I'm actually submissive is a subject of ongoing investigation. I like to switch on occasion, but I also like to give up control in a way that is deeper than for most of the people who only like to spank for fun and sex, but much less deep than for most of the people who have responded above.

Love4her: To Cathrine Grayce, shopping will be a lot more fun trying to figure out who you are... (Not that there is any chance of it LOL). I will be looking at the local retail employees a little differently now!

I'm going to Staples to buy a sturdy wooden ruler (or other office pervertable). Look out!

Another Mary: For my husband and me, it's only in the bedroom (or wherever the play takes us!). In the rest of our lives, we both have fairly demanding, high-stress jobs...

Bonnie, on another topic though: I was hoping you'd post another February spanking calendar, as you did last year. That's about when I first found your blog, and our marriage took on whole new dimensions! Any chance of the spanking-a-day calendar again this year? Thanks for your blog.

AM, that’s a good idea! Thanks.

Claire: We had some D/s play yesterday with a good bit of spanking involved. We were talking about it afterwards and discussing how it is a manifestation of my general nature which is to do (and take pleasure from doing) things for others.

In our relationship, we are generally very much equal. We do tease each other - typos=spanks, etc. But we switch (although I am more often submissive) and so the teasing goes both ways.

One of the best things about this relationship is that I feel free to sometimes demand what I want when we are having sex. It is still only occasional that I will take the lead, but in other relationships, my deference would not have allowed me to do that, even if he wasn't a "dom."

Bonnie: Randy and I are basically equal in most things. We each have our areas of interest and we naturally gravitate toward allowing the person with the insight to make the decisions.

In the bedroom, he is in charge. He spanks. I receive the spankings. We both prefer this arrangement.

With this said, I find that my submissiveness does sometimes escape from the bedroom. This is particularly true immediately following a spanking. When my bottom is glowing and my spirit is flying, I am often quite agreeable and easily persuaded to partake in all manner of creative endeavors, sexual and otherwise.

Thank you to everyone who joined us today and contributed to this fascinating discussion.

MBS Spanko Brunch #159

Welcome back, my friends, to another Sunday spanko brunch. Our topic this time was contributed by an MBS reader.

To what degree does the submissiveness (or dominance) associated with spanking carry over into the rest of your life?

To address our question, just leave a comment below. Once everyone has spoken, I will post an edited summary of our discussion.