Sunday, February 15, 2009

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for Feb 15

Our topic of the week was the relationships among spankings, love, romance, and pain. Here are your responses.

Todd and Suzy: We're talking about a similar topic on our blog this week. It's a good time of year to ask how romantic spanking can be... :)

For us, a spanking can definitely be romantic. That's especially true with an erotic one, though it's certainly possible with other kinds of spankings too. Even a discipline one can be romantic. The words used during a spanking, expressions of love and caring, as well as gentle/sensual aftercare can make for a very romantic atmosphere. The exchange of trust can supercharge that feeling even further.

That feeling isn't first and foremost with every spanking. Some spankings are far more playful or sexual, or even sensation based. But love is a part of every spanking we share.

Dr. Ken: Spanking is most definitely a caring act of love. And as we are so often reminded, there is a very thin line between pain and pleasure...

Natty: A promised spanking during a moment of uncertainty in our relationship was the most romantic gesture ever made to me. Spanking can most definitely be romantic.

Daisy: Oh, yes, yes, yes!

Otherwise, why would it be done in a loving relationship?

It shows bonding, trust, an interest in behaviour modification. Also, communication is an integral part of any successful spanking relationship, and keeping the communication going helps to develop the relationship and stop the couple from drifting. I love the feeling of connection when Davey spanks me. I love that he cares enough about me to want to do this. And romantic? Certainly. When he kisses the spot he is going to, or just has, spanked, when he rubs the pain away. When we kiss afterwards, when he tickles and spanks alternately, or explores between spanks... There are so many ways.

morningstar: In our relationship, there are most definitely two styles of spanking. One is all about the pain. These are about finding that place for both of us where the pain brings us to a new height, bonds us tighter together, and satisfies a more primal desire.

On the other hand, there are times when we celebrate life together with more sensual spankings. The same toys that had me crying and wailing the last time now have me sighing and wiggling.

The difference between the two is how Sir uses the toys, and how He uses His body. The toys stroke and caress and tease a lot more before they hit. Sir will stand close behind me. He is so close, sometimes, that I can feel His body heat against my naked body. Sir will lean in and bite my neck, nibble on my shoulder, caress the areas being spanked, and more. .His touch will be soft and sensual. By the time He is finished spanking me, my knees are weak and my heart is all aflutter...

I wouldn't select one over the other as being best. It all depends on mood. Each is the best for the day, the mood, the challenge.

Hermione: Spanking is always an expression of love between us. Each spanking is Ron's demonstration that he loves me as he gives me that delightful pain/pleasure mixture I crave so much. It is always romantic because it is part of the physical expression of our love for and commitment to one other.

Paul: Of course, spanking can be romantic. That's a given. Erotic or good girl spankings are romantic, but any spanking can be so if given with love.

Jam: Spankings have always been erotic in nature for me. They can lead into sex. There is a fine line between pain and pleasure. Spankings are very much so an expression of love.

Kate: Everyone else has expressed the feelings just well. So I'll just say, YEP!

Pammie: I don't know if I would call spanking "romantic," but it is *definitely* a turn-on and *definitely* very sensual for my partners and me. When the spanking or paddling starts, I giggle, swoon, and writhe. It's a turn-on even after it starts to hurt. Yes, for me, sensual pleasure and pain – the yin and yang of love-making – are intertwined.

Ronnie: Oh, yes. It’s definitely an expression of love.

I was spanked with roses for my birthday, the ones without thorns. It was painful, erotic, and romantic. It also demonstrates loving, caring, trust, and communication all bundled together.

Measha: I think spanking in itself is an act of love. The willingness to adventure into this word is a huge gesture of love.

For us, there are fun spankings and there are discipline spankings. Both show me how much TJ loves me and cares for me.

Anon #1: Spanking is always foreplay with us. Sex always follows, so it's definitely about expressing love. Is it "romantic?" Well, we've been married almost ten years now. Even sex isn't always romantic. Spanking has definitely made our sex life hotter though. Romance has to include romantic dialog for me. I'd love to have more romance in my spankings though!

Tom: Spanking has always been my most favored expression of connection, intimacy, excitement, eroticism and, sometimes, fun. In that all of these are, at times, aspects of expressing love and romance... HELL, YES!

Anon #2: In my experience, spankings have been more about lust than love, though I hope that's partly due to the fact that I have very little experience and none with a serious partner. I'd imagine that they could be about love between a couple if they both enjoyed it and it was for the purpose of mutual happiness with that theme. Spanking is about so much more than physical pain, including love.

Matt: When I haven't been acting stupid and earning punishment spankings, my wife has been giving me sexy play spankings. These last quite a while, involve a considerable amount of inappropriate touching, and some role playing. She does these things because she knows I love them and I pay her back with things she loves too.

The punishment spankings she has dealt out show me her love for me too. At a base level, she knows I crave the spanking and is therefore giving me what I want. But she also knows they hurt and will change my behavior. I don't want her to be upset because of something I have done, and the spanking gives her a way to "make amends" in a quick and reliable manner. So all of that contributes to the "love" in our marriage.

The entire spanking 'thing' has brought us much closer together. We now spend time cuddling on the couch or making out in the hallway. None of that happened before.

Love4her: No.... Darn it. Yes and yes.

Bonnie: Spanking is definitely an expression of love for us. For Randy and me, it’s another form of lovemaking. It can be very romantic, especially when the scene is set just right.

As for the pain being romantic, I think it can be, but the link is somewhat indirect. The way the pain makes me feel opens me to romantic overtures. But without the pain, we could never reach the same level of intimacy.

Thanks, everyone, for your great responses!

1 comment :

spice of life said...

Romantic....oh yes...since my beloved hubby doesn't crave spanking or being spanked himself, it turns it into an act of pure love. He knows that I love to be spanked, and the way I love to be spanked, and the fact that I view the sting as a pleasurable, affectionate sensation. It is his gift, because it gives me pleasure - just as I touch him in the ways that give him pleasure.

Whoever is giving pleasure, we always take the time before/during/and, or especially afterward to hold each other close and tell each other thank you, and how much we love, adore, treasure each other...enumerating reasons why, talking over favorite memories, wondering over how we could possibly be married to this wonderful, beautiful person.

So, is an integral part of a very sweet and beautiful romance, and is therefore very, very romantic.

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