Thursday, August 02, 2012

Song Parody: Bohemian Spanks-for-Me

This is without question the most challenging spanko song parody I've ever attempted. It's really more of a loving tribute than a true parody. But it just had to be done...

Bohemian Spanks-for-Me

Am I a bad wife?
Must I go panty free?
Caught in a white lie,
No escape from my husband's knee

Open my eyes,
Look up from his thighs and see,
I'm just a sore girl, I need no sympathy,
Because I'm OTK, let it go,
Spank me high, spank me low,
Any way my rump glows
Doesn't really matter to me, to me...

Just killed my plan,
Used a crop out in the shed,
Whacked my bottom, now I'm red
Papa... thought it might be fun,
But now I've gone and thrown his belt away

Papaaaaa, Ooooo
Didn't mean to make me cry,
If I'm can't sit again this time tomorrow,
Carry on, carry on as if butts don't really matter

Too late, my man has come,
Sends welts down to my thigh,
Bum is aching all the while

Goodbye, everybody, I touch my toes,
Got to show my bare behind to my Babe Ruth
Papaaaaa oooh, (Any way my rump glows)
I don't want to cry,
Sometimes wish I wasn't spanko at all

(Guitar solo)

I see a little dancing vision of a girl,
Sore behind, sore behind...
Where did your underpants go?

Wonder belt is biting, very, very frightening me!
I'm a spanko, I'm a spanko
I'm a spanko, I'm a spanko
I'm a spanko, Watch me glow (Magnifico)

I'm just a sore girl, everyone spanks me,
She's just a poor girl from a poor family,
Spare her her rear from this monstrosity!
Spank me high, spank me low, will you let me go?
Big Bathbrush! No, we have to make you glow
(Let her go!) Big Bathbrush! We have to make you glow
(Let her go!) Big Bathbrush! We have to make you glow
(Let me go) Have to make you glow,
(Let me go) (Never) Have to make you glow
(Let me go) Have to make you glow
(Let me go) Ah
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

Oh Papa please, Papa please, Papa please, let me go
Beelzebub has a paddle put aside for me, for me, for meeeeeee!

So you think you can flog me and make me comply?
So you think you can tie me and leave me to cry?
Oh, baby, can't do this to me, baby,
Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here!

(Guitar solo)

Nothing really matters,
Anyone can see,
Nothing really matters,
Nothing really matters to me...

Any way my rump glows...


Anonymous said...

OMG, Bonnie -- this is brilliant! I will never think of Bohemian Rhapsody the same way again :-)


Fondlers Anonymous said...

Absolute GENIUS!!! I want to give you an award! Thanks for this. It makes the long day ahead much easier to bear!

Dragon's Rose said...

Love it

Hermione said...

Bonnie, that was amazing! Your version is much funnier than the original lyrics which are quite dark and disturbing. Bohemian Rhapsody one of my favourite songs and it comes up quite often on the Oldies station.

Here's a video of a family that sings it on the drive to school every day.


Ana said...

LOL...people around here are going to eventually make me unable to listen to *any* song without thinking of it in a spanko way.

Nice "translation". :)

Cowgirl Up said...

LOL-Very inventive! I'll never be able to hear that song again without thinking of this and laughing. Thanks for the giggles and grins :)

Anonymous said...

Awesome Ronnie.

Conina said...

OMG, Bonnie, that is awesome! What an amazing, hilarious effort. Thank you for sharing!

Bas said...

Poor Freddy Mercury. We will never be able to hear his song without thinking of you Bonnie.

Jillian Bea said...

I'm lol-ing. Seriously. That was fun.

Erica said...

(retrieving Windex to clean coffee off the computer screen) I agree -- genius! :-D Your parodies are always spot on.

Big Bathbrush makes a lot more sense than Bismilah (what the heck is that, anyway?). When I was younger and first hearing the song, I used to wonder, "Why the heck are they singing about Mitch Miller?" Yes, I just seriously dated myself with that.

Anonymous said...

sounds like my afternoon. great job! love ya! buttwed

poured out said...

omg.... Amazing. I've wanted to do something like this to "These are a Few of My Favorite Things!" But wow...just wow. This is just amazing!

crankyspanker said...

That was very ambitious and really funny. I can't think of a tougher tune to parody.


Roz said...

Absolutely brilliant and funny. I'll never hear that song again without laughing!

Elysia said...

I laughed at so many things-my favorite:
"Big bathbrush! No, we have to make you glow!" lol!
You are one clever woman! I love it! :-)

Devlin O'Neill said...

Stunning, Bonnie! I love the song, and love your rendition even better. Freddie Mercury would so approve.

Renee Rose said...

SOOOO Great!

Bonnie said...

Thanks, everyone. I'm glad you enjoyed my adaptation of this Queen classic. I had my doubts at first about assembling words that both sound right and make some sense. But once I started singing along with the original, it went pretty quickly.

Erica - I definitely remember Sing-a-long with Mitch. But I never before associated him with Freddie Mercury. :)

PO - You might enjoy this song.

Emanuele - That's why I wanted to try it. BR has a kind of Mount Everest aura. I just had to make the attempt.

lilmisses said...

Absolutely brilliant Bonnie! Definitely my kind of humor. Awesome job!

Lea said...

"I don't want to cry,
Sometimes wish I wasn't spanko at all."

Haha! This is wonderful! Great parody! *applause*

SpankCake said...

This was...ah-mazing! I loved the spaces for guitar solos...though I believe in your version they should be drum solos...on my bottom!


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