Our topic this weekend was whether a reason was necessary for a spanking. Here are your responses.
Poppy: I like it when they have a reason, but I am happy (in a please-don't-spank-me-it-huuuuuuurts kind of way) when he spanks me because he thinks I need it or we need it or he just thinks he should. I don't like to be spanked, but I love that he spanks me and it makes me feel wonderful afterward. He spanks me every morning when I am with him and he says that is "just because." It always makes me mad at first, but then I just settle down and we have lovely days.
I like them to have a reason if they are to be properly awful, but I trust him so much that his thinking that is what should happen is a good reason. However, don't tell him that I said that because I will still pout and say that it is not fair and I don't want it.
Hermione: That depends upon the relationship. In our case, the only reason for spankings is that I like them, and my husband likes spanking me. Does that count? Oh, yes, another reason is that if I don't get spanked regularly, I sulk. And if it's Sunday, that's a reason, because it's our chosen day for spankings. But I like those spontaneous swats for no reason best of all.
Naomi: I think 'because I feel like it' is a perfectly good reason. =)
PK: I love having a reason for a spanking, but like the others said, any reason will do. Having a reason helps get my mind into it more quickly and makes it even more enjoyable for me. Some of the reasons I've suggested to Nick have been for stress relief, not doing the laundry quickly enough, because I just 'need one' or even for not standing and curtsying when he walks in the room. LOL I'm not picky about the reason, but I really like having one.
Our Bottoms Burn: Just because is reason enough as we spank just for fun.
Daisy: I agree with Hermione. It depends on the dynamic of your relationship.
There is always a reason for me to get one. Either I have been bad or need to be reminded to be good. LOL! There are good girl spankings (Nice, with anticipation and tingle factor, and when we are together, lots of fondling etc.), bad girl ones (yeeeeouchy), brat ones, smart-ass ones, and just because ones. He always knows when I need one, even though we are so far apart!
Six of the Best: It's one of the great joys in life for me, whether for sexual reasons or for punishable reasons. Yes, spanking a naughty woman's bare bottom is pure ecstasy.
Thomas: I agree that "because I said so" should be all the reason that's needed. :P
I guess that the only time that a spanking really HAS to have a reason is when it's for discipline/punishment. While others don't practice this form of spanking, I actively do so with those who ask to be held accountable. Even then, an occasional maintenance spanking might have "pre-emptive strike" labeled as the reason.
For playtime spankings, it adds a certain element when there's a "reason" for the spanking (often, the word "excuse" might be better than "reason"). For instance, bratting is just for fun, but gives the spanking a "reason" to be dealt out. Roleplay is another situation in which there's a "reason" for the action (to be truthful, spanking for bratting is a form of roleplay, too, but you're playing yourself. In essence, the character isn't fictional, like a normal roleplay, but the reactions are).
However, a good "because I want to" is still good enough for me.
Cheryl: For me, the best (and only real) reason to get spanked is simply because it's the most fun thing in the world. I can't think of anything that I enjoy more than a good play session. But... this is just me.
It's always great to hear from you, Cheryl. I'm glad you're back among friends!
Scunge: Yeah, just because is one of the many reasons. Others include being way too bratty, I need re-centering, I ask nicely, or... well, you get the idea!
Accountomax: Sometimes a spanking coming out of nowhere is an erotic treat on its own.
It's good to see you again, Accountomax!
Tina: I also think that no "real" reason is needed. We do it just because we like it. But still, I love it when a reason is "invented.".
Ken: No, the spanking doesn't have to have a reason. However, there is something very enjoyable about having a reason regardless of whether it is real or made-up. It allows you to enjoy the roleplay element of being naughty.
Ronnie: I don't think spankings always need a reason, but P has often said that they do. Even if the reason is a bit contrived, he likes to have something there. I think I must be a junkie for them any way they come. However, I have to admit that they are better when there's something solid (no pun intended) behind them.
Katia: I like to have a reason why. There have been times when my hubby has spanked me for, "just because" and "good training." These are more on the playful side.
Todd and Suzy: I honestly think spankings work better with a reason. A reason creates a dialogue which allows for the interplay that so many spankos seem to like. Certainly a spanking “just because” (i.e., no reason) does work and we've had lots of those. They're pretty common at spanking parties. "Would you like a spanking?" "Yes..." and there you go. And those are fun and do have a place.
But, a spanking for a reason, even if it's a role-play made up one, offers so much more. "We need to have a talk young lady." "Yes, sir..." That starts pushing buttons that 'just because' misses.
HerKnee: Reasons are good. Of course, “just because you need it” or “it's been too long” work too. Spanking for stress relief is a perfectly valid reason and it doesn't have to be that the spankee who needs the relief. It can be for the relief of the spanker too.
Spanking offers a connection that those who aren't involved just can't understand. Those of us who are understand clearly.
Oatmeal Girl: I would never say "should" in answer to this or any other similar question, because I'm so stuck on the credo that a BDSM relationship is still at core a relationship and no one else can say what is right for you.
I get spanked both for punishment and correction, and because the sadist feels like it. The two kinds of spankings feel very different, both physically and emotionally, and I am grateful for both kinds.
I am grateful to be owned by a Master who is willing to work so hard to train me and guide me and enable me to live up to my potential as both a writer and as his treasure. And I am grateful to be allowed to give him the pleasure and relief that he gains by hurting me.
And yes, it does arouse me. Even when I am spanked for punishment, which hurts a whole lot more. He beat me with a hairbrush recently, for the very first time. It hurt like hell and my remorse was great, but I still get wet and squirmy when I think about it.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, OG.
Prefectdt: In my philosophy, if a spanker cannot find a good reason to spank you, then you're not being bratty enough. :)
Marie Haynes: Of course, there is always a reason - His pleasure.
R Humphries: As our activities are almost exclusively of a role-playing nature, there is not really ever any reason per se except for our mutual desire to play. Nonetheless, there is generally a loose theme to our games and they are probably more dominated by MBJ’s artful and articulate reasoning as to why she shouldn’t be spanked that sets the tone. Of course, despite her quick wits, silver tongue and nimble mind, she still always ends up with her bum higher than her head because that is what we both like, and good enough reason for me.
A'marie: I prefer they have a reason, even if it's a "You're getting spanked because I say you're getting spanked," which is a reason that makes me wrinkle my nose.
A'marie! You know you're always welcome here. Thanks for stopping by.
Bonnie: As others said, there doesn't have to be a reason for us. But spankings are a whole lot more effective (on many levels) when there is.
I recall once asking Randy why he was spanking me. He replied, “Because your bottom is bare and I have a paddle in my hand.” I had to allow that his logic was flawless.
Thank you all for joining in our spanko brunch!
