Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Recap:MBS Sunday Brunch for May 20

Our topic this week was the elements that make excellent spanking fiction. Here are your thoughts.

Joeyred: I enjoy stories that include elements about which I fantasize about as possible scenes. Usually, that would involve a caning for some "misdeed" by a female governess or school head mistress. I want the story to contain most of the traditional elements of a ritual caning such as a punishment book. I want to feel through the words of the author the anxiety of the individual being punished from the setting of the punishment, the waiting period before the punishment, and the details of the caning with a swat by swat description. I expect the experience to be believable and I want to feel empathy for the "victim."

Bob B: I look for a complete, well written story with a good build up, expressively vivid action and descriptive aftermath. A lot of the short stories in old editions of Janus always did it for me. One that stands out for whatever reason was Executive Encounter. If I had to choose one element it would be the final caning with a running commentary of the thought’s going through the recipient's head.

Sunny Girl: I like spanking to be part of the story, but not the story. I like relatable characters and story lines. I don't need a swat by swat description. Even dialogue about a forthcoming spanking is enough. I like what interests me and doesn't go too far out of my comfort zone.

Reece Seever: For me, the lead up is more important than the event. The woman taking charge and dictating what is going to happen. The man's anxious anticipation and genuine fear of that happening. Important elements for me are the exercise of authority by the woman and the man's anxious submission to the inevitable.

Hobbes: I like historical fiction because it can portray a period when corporal punishment was common, the norm even. The characters and dialog are critical to building a believable historical setting and the story is far more important than the spanking itself. There is so much of the mind involved in spanking: the anticipation, the unknown, the tension, the trust, the relationship, contemporary mores, fear, relief, fantasy. So the interior dialog makes for a very good story.

Six of the Best: I like the characters in the story to be believable. Favorites would be office environments, domestic, and uniform. The naughty ladies should wear garter-belt, stockings, girdles, all types of bloomers, and knickers. Implements used on the those naughty ladies include a cane, birchrod, and whip.

Scunge: If they make my bottom tingle, I love them. But as others have said, the stories need to be believable. Historical, age play, school scenes, contemporary, or you name it – I like it as long as it makes my bum tingle. ;)

PK: I enjoy a little spanking with my love story. I want the couples love for each other to be the center of the story. Within that background, I want the man to be protective and to be willing to spank to see that his love stays safe.

Julia: I like to read stories about where I would like DH and I to be. For example, that could include real discipline (including corner time, if necessary). This is very big for me. I love reading stories where she is spanked for real life mistakes, for example a speeding ticket. My favorite author is Carolyn Faulkner, especially The Thornton Brothers Trilogy.

Lea: I mostly enjoy reading things that parallel my own interests, as I sometimes put myself in the place of a character in the story. I like reading the descriptions and backgrounds of the characters and how they are feeling. Writing fiction is tough and I'm not very good at it. But I'm glad that a lot of other people are!

Nick: I like reading about the character's feelings and what they are thinking.

SNP: I like to care about the characters. Spanking scenes are great, but if it is just spanking and sex and no story or likeable characters, then it just rings a little hollow. Real life scenarios have their appeal and so do fantasies.

Sometimes, you want an escape from the world and so something of a fantasy nature fits the bill.
Other times, you relate to the plot in a real way and so that works as well. Being very graphic with lots of bad language is a turn off. There is a balance to strike from being trashy and classy I think.

S: I prefer to read stories that are a little bit edgier than I would actually enjoy in real life. Or a fantasy which I know doesn't really exist in real life (such as a correctional school for misbehaving ladies) because it makes the spanking that occurs very plausible in writing. I prefer the characters to have depth, as the others were saying. It's not just like, "Mary is naughty, so Jake decided to send her away to be spanked." We can actually read what Mary is thinking, her fear or anticipation, and gradual lead-up to the actual punishment.

I do think I like reading about punishment scenarios more than erotic. For me, it can only be erotic if it's with my own partner, not reading about two other people. I don't like swat by swat dialogue simply because there are only so many ways to write "Ouch!" and I have read many a good story where they aren't explicitly written out, but I could still tell that the character was being spanked well. LOL

S.N.M.: For me, it's all of the above. As a reader and writer of spanking stories, I value characters, creativity, humor, and eroticism, all seamlessly intermixed.

Characters: A likeable, dynamic protagonist with entertaining supporting characters is critical to any story, spanking or otherwise. I like it best when the protagonist is coming to grips with their love of spanking, or learning more about it at least.

Creativity: So much spanking fiction is just slight variations on the familiar school/blackmail/domestic discipline themes. I always value the story that comes up with a really creative reason for a spanking to take place. An outlandish setting or surreal context can also make the story more memorable, provided it doesn't alienate the reader.

Humor: Okay, spanking fetishes are silly. Stop looking at me like that. It's true. Wanting to be hit on the butt is hilarious and ridiculous, and there's no reason to pretend otherwise. In spanking stories, therefore, I like to go all out and play the comedy to its hilt. Spanking and satire make an amazing combination.

Eroticism: For me, spanking is sexual, and I like my spanking fiction to have at least an undercurrent of sensuality. The characters don't necessarily have to do it, but there needs to be sexual tension, and possibly the suggestion of future or past sexual events. I also like sexy descriptions of the human body (certain parts of it in particular).

Saoirse: This is a wonderful question for me as both a writer and a reader! I agree with much that has been said. I see the humor in everything - including spanking, so I really appreciate humor in stories. I also need well developed characters and a plot. I am much more interested in feelings and development of characters than swat by swat. The tension, which makes me want to keep reading, doesn't come from simply actions. This week, I'm reading The Point of it All by Jade Carey. My husband wants me to read everything she has written... and that should make it perfectly clear how I feel about the book!

Dragon's Rose: I like a story I can connect with. I prefer something based on real life that I can see playing out in my own home. When the spanking is overly severe or is too fantasy-based, I'm done.

Make Mine Red: I am an avid reader and I like to read a lot of different things. Many different scenarios interest me, but not if it's really far-fetched or too severe. And even though I'm not really into either punishment or BDSM much, I enjoy stories that touch on those subjects as well. I just finished the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy and I loved it!

A-Non: I agree with all of the comments above. Everything in the story has to be believable, even if it is not realistic. For example, the scene could be a public spanking (which would not happen in today's world), but every detail still has to seem as if it could happen, at least in some communities.

Speaking of detail, I like details, but each detail should be relevant to the characters and their thoughts, etc.

I like a nice setup where I learn who these people are and why she's getting spanked and how each person feels about spanking. A few swats with her reaction are good, but then I prefer a summary of the rest.

One final thing, the grammar must be impeccable. A single "Your going to get it" will ruin the mood for me.

Hermione: I prefer punishment stories involving a mature schoolgirl or schoolboy who commits some misdemeanor or breaks a rule and is punished by the principal or teacher of the opposite sex. Other scenarios like naughty maid/footman and strict butler/housekeeper are also fun to read, as are stories where the ages of the two are closer, but there must be an authoritative figure. I don't care about a complicated plot but it should be realistic and believable as a framework within which to set the spanking. The punishment must be delivered because of a true violation of some rule or standard. It's always nice when there is some humour, and a plot twist or surprise ending is a bonus. Reading about the emotions that the victim experiences - the anxiety and anticipation beforehand, the anguish during, and the relief after - is more important to me than a blow by blow account of each smack.

Prefectdt: I like spanking fiction that shows imagination and weaves spanking action periodically throughout an interesting story. Highly fantastic or very close to reality and everything in between is great. It is the quality of the story and writing that really counts. I'm a bit tired of reading about rich spankos, nothing against this, it is just a bit overdone and getting a bit tired. More books about middle and working class spankos please.

Kitty: I like spanking stories that would never occur in my real day-to-day life. Also, I don't want spanking to be the main part of the story... more of an appetizer to the main entree of a love story.

Playful Little Brat: I love spanking stories that I can relate to. These are stories that seem real and something I could see really happening. I also like a buildup to the spanking, and seeing some character development is great because it helps you relate and also feel for the characters in the story.

SpankCake: +1 regarding the note on grammar!

Ana: I like different things when I'm writing and reading spanking stories.

As a writer: I love stories that are unexpected, don't follow a formula, and leave my reader walking away feeling comforted or learning something about their real life that they'd never thought of before. I want them to be very real characters that you come to care about. I also want my main characters, the girls who get spanked, not to be self-centered and using the spanking just as a way to get what they want. So I strive to write spanking story relationships that show a balance...not just one person taking all the time (discipline, spanking, advice, mentoring) from the other.

As a reader: I love me a good F/F story. :) I will read and enjoy others, but how can I not most love what I do?

I dislike the Mad Lib type of story. I mean: A _ (adjective) girl goes to _ (place) and does _ (misbehavior). She does _(avoiding behavior) to try to get out of it, but _(authority figure) tells her sternly that she must _ (adverb) do _ (misbehavior) again. So the _(authority figure) spanks her _ (adverb) with a _(spanking implement) _ (number) times and removes _ (article of clothing) and warns her to never do it again. She sends her to the corner for _ (number) minutes, gives her a hug, and they live happily ever after.

As someone who writes, I love reading a story that has intelligence, wit, humor, and a very real character who makes me cheer for her. I don't like to read about someone who brats and gets her come-uppance. I like to read about someone who is "real" to me and someone I can support. Someone I would want as a friend.

SpankCake: Some of my favorite stories include an element of non-consent where during the scene the spankee gives into the joys of being spanked and then perhaps tries to hide it from her spanker, is discovered and then they engage in some crazy hot sex. Other spanking stories are swell, too. ;)

Ronnie: I like my stories to have a mix of things - spanking of course, humour, eroticism and the characters have to be believable.

fB: I prefer stories with more depth. If I can relate to a character, that's all the better. I also enjoy when someone puts effort into a setting and atmosphere. So often, stories are quick and only involve the basics, at least as far as I've seen.

If you can make it so that I can feel as though I'm in the room, it'll be a story I love. Let me hear, smell, see, and touch through words. Let at least one of the characters share their point of view so I can have a human to relate with.

I'm willing to read both believable and unbelievable stories, as long as they can pull me into their world. Otherwise, I find myself bored with simple actions.

Cara Bristol: Spanking fiction is a subject near and dear to my author heart...

What makes a good spanking story for me (and what I try to incorporate in my writing) are the feelings and motivations of the characters. The buildup of tension and the anticipation or dread that occurs before a spanking are key to making a compelling story.

In fiction, I like to experience the dynamics of the power differential of disciplinary spankings, but also enjoy the sexual aspect of erotic ones, so I want to read/write about both -- but not in the same spanking. A disciplinary spanking shouldn't be fun.

Sublime Wifey: I like spanking stories in which the characters are well developed and I know the motivation and thoughts of the Dom and sub (and I like all my spanking stories to be D/s). They can be detailed in the erotica if they are also detailed in the character development. But spanking and erotic just for the sake of titillation is not for me. I think I like to explore the reasons for my own predilections and so I read these stories to see what other writers, spankos, Doms and subs are thinking. I also like stories that push my personal boundaries just a bit, allowing me to imagine myself going just beyond my limits.

Daisy: For me, I like a real life story, a believable, credible story, with real, true-to-life characters and a situation I could see myself and Davey in. In other words, as I read, I like to be able to imagine that we are the characters in the story.

I read other stories, and smile/admire the writing style, but I like to lose myself in a book, be swallowed up in it, and live it!

Bonnie: I agree with a lot of the previous responses. I love a romance, but kinky play can be equally satisfying if presented tastefully. A ritual punishment is thrilling, but so is a gentle, tentative first time. Above all, I am drawn to well defined scenarios and memorable characters.

As an occasional writer of spanking fiction, I find that strong characters sometimes write the story themselves and not always as I originally intended. My one act play, The Spanking Booth, was like that. I believe there is no better way to ensure that characters seem authentic than to regard them as real people.

Thanks for joining us! See you next weekend.

Saturday, May 19, 2012

MBS Spanko Brunch #331

Hi everybody, and happy weekend! Here's what I hope will be a fun question...

When reading a fictional spanking story, what sort of story elements appeal to you? Do you like themes that closely parallel your real life interests or do you prefer to explore different scenarios? Do you enjoy detailed descriptions of the characters, their motivations and feelings, dialogue, setting, and/or swat by swat action? How important is it for you that the characters be believable?

To join our brunch conversation, just enter your response below in the form of a comment. If you choose not to create an account, anonymous comments are permitted. I will post an edited summary at the end of the weekend.

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for May 13

Happy Mother's Day to all of our mothers out there!

Our topic this week was the proposition that spanking was a kind of a “gateway drug” for more intense forms of BDSM. As you can see, we had a great discussion. Here's what you had to say.


PK: Oh, maybe, just a little. Before we began spanking, I would have been shocked if Nick had wanted to use cuffs or to tie me to the bed for an occasional play session. We never even used a blindfold before, so I think spanking could lead to some tentative exploration. I don't, however, think it would lead every spanko to hardcore BDSM.

morningstar: My initial reaction was a resounding NO...

BUT then thinking about it, I compared my early days of spanking with where I am now. Following the hypothesis of spanking being a gateway, I had to stop and think, "Maybe."

But then I argued (I do love to debate with myself) that if I didn't like spanking, or the pain from it, I would not have craved more and therefore would not have had any desire to explore further.

SO – No, I do not believe that spanking is a gateway to anything more intense. The person/personality is the gateway.

Joeyred: I think that spanking is an entry point for many people, although I think using handcuffs is a close second.

Many people I know in the scene started with spanking and then became more interested in other aspects of BDSM such as rope bondage, flogging, etc.

I know that it is true for me. Spanking has been the gateway. The group I belong to, SCONY, is a conservative entry point for people. Their focus is just spanking with strict protocols, use of safe words, etc. The club helped me get started in the scene and that initial experience has helped me to meet people and explore other aspects of BDSM.

So, I definite say yes for me.

Abby: For me, yes, for others it depends. I started off just wondering and wanting a spanking. That first spanking (and Master) has led me down the BDSM path, one I never would have expected to travel.

Julia: No, I really don't think spanking naturally leads to more heavy aspects of BDSM unless that is what the people involved choose!

Sarah Thorne: I guess it CAN be. I mean, it makes sense that someone who fantasizes about extreme BDSM but have never experienced the reality of such would start out with something they might consider more mild and build up from there.

But as an absolute? Of course not. There are people who simply like spanking and that's it. They have no other interest in anything else beyond that.

Ana: Not for me, but maybe for others. Even after this many years, I still struggle with just being spanked. If anything, I've gotten more conservative and more resistant to more "severe" things. It must be self-preservation instincts kicking in. :)

And if it is a gateway drug to people finding out other things they like, why not? It's like saying the children's book _Dick and Jane_ is a gateway drug to later reading and enjoying _War and Peace_. (It probably is!).

Hermione: For me, it was just the reverse. I have always been interested in spanking and sometimes wondered about taking things further. But the more I learn about other BDSM practices, mainly from reading blogs like the ones you mention, the more I know I don't want any part of it. There is much more that turns me off than the reverse. I am quite content to limit myself to spanking and its considerable variety, and to exploring options within that sphere.

Rod: No, I don't think so. My kink has remained at pretty much the same level for years. I guess that's pretty tame by some BDSM standards. On the other hand, I do sometimes have to keep the sadism in my blog's stories in check - not too many strokes, not too much humiliation. A lot of my stories weave a little nostalgia and humour into the plot, and I don't think this is really compatible with BDSM... unless you know otherwise of course?

Make Mine Red: I can say at least for me the answer is no. I am thoroughly turned on by spanking, but yet completely turned off by anything extreme. That even includes extreme spanking. I like the sting, the warmth, the pink/red coloring, strap marks and stripes of a good spanking, but absolutely do not like to see bruising or breaking of the skin. I've always liked spanking, but have never been tempted to enter the world of rough/extreme BDSM.

Daisy: No, I don't think so, either. Although extreme forms of spanking can be found in BDSM, so can extreme forms of sex. Using that argument, it could be said that sex leads as a gateway drug to BDSM too!

I think maybe those curious about BDSM start out with the milder forms such as master/slave type sex, handcuffs, spanking, and gentle bondage to experiment before going further. But they are already interested in BDSM. Many of us "into" spanking, or in DD marriages, are simply NOT wired up in any way to BDSM and have no interest at all.

Old Fashioned Girl: No, it's not a gateway to my way of thinking. If it is, I've been waiting to go through for a long, long time. My sort of spanko thing is as different to most of what I've seen/know of BDSM as chalk and cheese.

Todd and Suzy: Obviously it depends, but generally speaking, we'd say it is at least a gateway to ~exploring~ other aspects of BDSM. Overcoming the stigma that society places on kink can be a real challenge, but once that is done it very often opens the mind to trying new things.

Of course, sometimes exploring doesn't end up going much of anywhere and the focus remains on spanking.

It's pretty hard to imagine someone being opened minded enough to try and ultimately get something positive from spanking, but then being unwilling to try other aspects of kink. Not that it doesn't happen. We know people that are strictly spankos and that is that. We honestly think that is rare though.

"I like being spanked" -so- why not try being tied up an being spanked? or a Master/slave role play that involves spanking? or spanking followed by anal play? or spanking and toys? etc-etc. That strikes us as a common progression.

Sunny Girl: It think it is a line in the sand that can be blurred by the wind. I like spanking. Handcuffs and blind folds can be very hot. Fantasy role play is a turn on. Master/slave in romance stories are hot, but in real life, not so much. I like anal play and never thought I would be saying that. Thus, my theory is that if you don't try it, you will never know. I have even blurred some of my hard limits, but there are others that are steadfast. I think if the proclivity for BDSM is there, spanking could be the gateway. If not, I don't think so.

Kat: It isn't a gateway to BDSM for me personally. The *only* place I like pain is on my bottom. Pain anywhere else has always flatlined my desire instantly (which confuses and fascinates the heck out of my husband and me), but a spanking, for some reason, really does it for me.

I like heat. I like the little marks afterward, but I've never been really and truly marked up. The kind of surface bruising I get sometimes is completely gone in three days, max.

BDSM is *such* a different world than a red bottom. Just because a D/s relationship usually starts with a spanking does not make spanking the main focus (top marks to Ana on the reading analogy, above). I'm not into damage, nor am I into being being brought to the edge and held there indefinitely, which is a staple in BDSM play. And I sure don't need 'discipline' for my faults. We may role-play, but it's in good fun.

Also, I don't consider blindfolds and restraints as strictly BDSM items. Liking to be restrained or a bit of sensory deprivation is so mild a kink that it's almost silly. The mental aspects of BDSM, which at its simplest is nothing more than maintaining a state of erotic torment, cannot be ignored. Liking to be spanked doesn't usually cause someone to be suddenly open to a whole lifestyle unless they were already predisposed.

Vanille: For me personally, a collar and leash were the 'gateway drug.' However, I definitely believe that bare-handed spanking can be a good starting point for someone new if that's what they think they'd be interested in. Then as they come down the line, they find out they like canes, floggers or whips and other BDSM activities, like perhaps waxplay or bloodplay.

JJ: I think it depends on who you are. If you are already a spanko at heart or someone who is already (even subconsciously) interested in BDSM without even knowing, then spanking could open your eyes to something you maybe never knew you were interested in. However, I don't think every spanko or every person who practices spanking is going to be interested in BDSM unless they already "lean that way" for lack of a better term.

Indy: Well, first off, I certainly don't buy the assumption in some BDSM circles that spanking is a phase we go through before learning about real BDSM.

Nonetheless, this is an interesting question. I think it depends a bit on how you've come into spanking. Following the gateway drug analogy, I'm guessing that there's a lower barrier to go from marijuana to harder drugs if you're already going to a drug dealer to buy your weed than if you're reliably supplied by your lovable hippie uncle who grows it in his backyard.

Similarly, I'd think that, if one's spanking play is exclusively within a primary relationship, the mere act of engaging in spanking doesn't necessarily lead to trying more, though I suspect that most couples into spanking experiment with at least blindfolds and light bondage.

On the other hand, there is something about finding a rightness through engaging in one taboo activity that can lead us to try more things. This is especially the case for those of us who have entered this world through spanking parties. In that case, you're likely to meet other people who are into more hard-core BDSM activities and even to see some of those activities publicly.

For me, I think it also matters that I feel very close to some of the people I've met in the spanking scene. It's a bit odd having a second life that way, and I suspect that the accompanying feeling of otherness also makes it easier be more unconventional. I'm certainly more open to unorthodox partnerships and more casual sexual play than I would have been before I participated in this community. That's not because I feel any pressure to engage in those activities at parties; it's more that spanking desires seem to make relationships more complicated. So I see nothing strange about a couple in which one partner is always the sub within the relationship, but fulfills his or her need to top with another partner.

I've really only ever had spanking fantasies, so I'm not all that drawn to the activities of the BDSM scene. My impression is also that the BDSM scene takes itself a little more seriously than the spanking scene does, and that would be a bit hard for me. On the other hand, the BDSM scene seems to me to be more honest about the sexual nature of these activities and less homophobic than the spanking scene. So, in some ways, I feel like I'm in between the two cultures.

fB: No. Actually, it was the other way around for me. When I first became active with my husband, we tried everything. I thought for the longest time that I liked the BDSM culture. Over time, I discovered this is not true. I just like spankings. Add a little bit of dominance in the spanking setup and I'm good. But all that other stuff we tried together was not so much fun.

CurtisG: Not for me. Depending on the partner, I find spanking playful, sensual, erotic and/or sexual. The attraction to it is sexual and ultimately relationship oriented. But BDSM essentially is a turn-off for me, as is severe spanking, punishment and discipline. But that's one person's likes and desires. I'm not judgmental about others.

Simon: I think it very much depends on the people involved. Some people are happy with a simple spanking and other aren't. Personally, I was happy with moderate CP practices for years and hadn't really considered venturing into BDSM until I met my current partner. Since I trust her completely, I have been open to new experiences with her. Under her tutelage, I have undergone many new things which I would never have envisioned when starting out. Some I enjoyed and others I hated, but I wouldn't have tried any of them if not for my original interest in spanking.

So for me, it definitely was a gateway into the more extreme areas of BDSM. Everyone is individual so for some, spanking will lead onto other adventures while for others, it won't. What would perhaps be just as interesting is whether anyone who is into serious BDSM play arrived there immediately. Most of the practitioners I've met (admittedly, not that many) started out as I did with corporal punishment play and moved into the more extreme stuff from there.

Six of the Best: On a different subject called Mother's Day... Rose's are Red, Violet's are Blue. May you receive a good spanking, From a husband that's true. Happy Mother's Day.

Thank you, Six

Spanky: For us, it has to some extent. Spanking is still the main focus, but we've discovered other fun activities as a result. We're still exploring.

Our Bottoms Burn: I smiled when I read "rougher BDSM activities". Let me assure you that not many in the smorgasbord BDSM camp would take a spanking like many of us enjoy. So much of the BDSM activities are more like magic, mostly show, little pain.

Kaelah: I don't think that for me spanking is a gateway to rougher BDSM activities. I am into spanking and into some other BDSM activities like back-whippings, blindfolds, restraints, power play and certain sexual practises. I started out with spanking because it is not only one of my core kinks, but also less closely linked to intimate sexual activities than some of the other things I am interested in. That's why I explored the other BDSM activities later than spanking, at a time when I had found my mate and became open for more intimate play. The same is true for vanilla sex, and I wouldn't call spanking a gateway for that, either. ;-)

One valid point, though, is in my opinion that being in the spanking and BDSM community made me come across things that I might not have considered trying otherwise. That's how being a part of the spanking community in my view can act as a kind of "gateway" for further explorations. These can be purely spanking-related explorations or wider BDSM-related explorations. In my opinion, that depends on one's personal preferences and the question how open one is for variety. Some people are just interested in spanking and draw a strict line when it comes to the wider field of BDSM.

I think that I, for example, don't draw a line as much between spanking and BDSM when it comes to my kink, as I draw a line between sexual fun and lifestyle. I only practise spanking and all the other activities I'm interested in either as sexual play with my mate or as fun play between friends. A relationship with a permanent power dynamic is not what I am interested in. So, I am neither open for a real-life spanking DD relationship, nor for a 24/7 BDSM master-slave relationship.

Funnily, I wouldn't call the "BDSMy" things that I engage in "rougher" than my spanking play, anyway. As a matter of fact, I think the spanking play is the roughest part of it all.

Loki Darksong: For me, it was the opposite. Being an S/Mer led me to the spanking community, when it took form in the late nineties. It did present more opportunities for fun and was less imposing than say asking someone who is new to try and play with a flogger.

Now I do love both, S/M and spanking. Both have given me a wide range of options for fun, for drama, and for magic.

Amigo Spanko: Not necessarily. The spanking has its own life. For many devotees, it is even a lifestyle.

Welcome, Amigo!

Jim: I started with hand spanking. That's like drinking a 3% beer. I moved on to hairbrushes, straps, and paddles. 5% lager packs a stronger punch. Canes now, they are like fine wines – some are like champagne at 14%. Beer, wines, and champagne are all I have in my drink cabinet. I won't have whiskey, nor whips or chains. So there has been a progression, but it has been within circumscribed limits.

Prefectdt: I have dabbled my toes in the BDSM world. Although I had some fun the experiences, they left me knowing that I was a spanko at heart.

Although a lot of play can cross over from one to the other, I think that we are talking about two distinct cultural kinky groups.

I think that spanko experiences can be a jump off point for someone who is really a BDSMer, but the other way around, BDSM can be an introduction to the kinkosphere for someone who is more naturally a spanko. So on a technical level the answer is a yes (IMHO), but I think that sooner or later people will gravitate toward the group (or groups) to which they truly belong.

The play may have similarities, but the mentalities are different and both groups can act as gateways to each other.

Mistress Nichole: I would have to say a big resounding NO! That may sound strange coming from someone like me, living a M/s life, to say no. But actually, M/s led to spanking and a random take on the 1950's household, but it most certainly has not, nor ever will, lead me to some of the crazy BDSM stuff out there.

Bonnie: I question the notion of a gateway drug, at least as it applies to spanking. I think each of us possesses unique interests and desires. There is no single path or even a preferred path. We experience life as it happens. Our choices are shaped when our natural inclinations mix with real world opportunities.

For me, being a spanking enthusiast is not a milestone on the road to somewhere else, but a worthy destination in its own right.

Thanks, everyone, for the great turn-out and fascinating responses. See you next weekend!

Saturday, May 12, 2012

MBS Spanko Brunch #330

In my continuing search for great new spanking blogs, I encounter blogs that aren't quite the spanko goodness I seek, but interesting nonetheless. While perusing one such kinky blog, I encountered an author who advanced the theory that spanking was a sort of gateway drug to extreme BDSM activities.

Do you think that spanking serves as a "gateway drug" to rougher BDSM activities? Why or why not?

As always, anyone with a relevant opinion is welcome to participate in our brunch. Simply enter your response in the form of a comment below. At the end of the weekend, I will post an edited summary of our conversation.

Tuesday, May 08, 2012

In with the New: Graduation Edition


Here's another healthy dose of new spanking-oriented blogs to explore!

Bobb's Room
Domestic Discipline Photoblog
I've Been Naughty
Journey to Domestic Discipline
Naughtily Ever After
Spank Amber Photoblog
Spankfully Mine (F/F)
Spanking: The Good, the Bad and the Pleasurable
Spanking Theatre
Sweet Submissive Wife
The Discipline of a Naughty Irish Imp
Legend
General Spanking
Photos/Videos
Model/Industry
DD Blogs
Authors/Stories
Ds/BDSM Blogs

To these new members of our community, I bid you welcome. If you would like some blogging tips and suggestions, try these. In any case, we're very glad you're here!

Sunday, May 06, 2012

Recap: MBS Sunday Brunch for May 6

Our topic this week was dealing with delayed or interrupted spankings. Here are your thoughts.

Sunny Girl: I usually get witchier the longer it is postponed.

Julia: If I know the reason why it is postponed, I am fine to wait for it. And DH will spank me, no matter what. If I don't know the reason and think he forgot, then I get really bitchy because I think he doesn't care about me and simply forgot. Just writing this, it sounds stupid to behave that way...

Suzie: We try not to put off a spanking for more than 24 hours because apparently I get really edgy. He's planned to spank me, but hasn't told me so that I wouldn't fret over it.

Mistress Nichole: When a spanking has to be postponed, I know it's my responsibility to remember to do it later. It's not good for P, though, because she becomes more and more unstable the longer she has to wait.

My only advice is (if possible) give a timeframe for the spanking. P is never a hundred percent, but she's better knowing when it will happen.

Her mindset is always fine when we come back to it. It's mine that needs adjusting. The longer the wait, the less-inclined I am to do the thing up right.

Welcome to you both!

Hermione: We are both firm believers in routine, so a scheduled spanking is rarely missed. But if, due to circumstances beyond our control, it doesn't take place, then we always reschedule it to another convenient time in the not-too-distant future.

Reece Seever: Fortunately or unfortunately, depending on your perspective, when the appointed day for a spanking comes and goes, it may be a week or more before there is another. Given the general pace of life, the opportunities for time alone for Anne to "take care of business" don't come along with great regularity.

Jean Marie: The only reason my spankings have been postponed in the past is because we've been in public. This has happened on several occasions. Each time, my lover has whispered the threat of baring me right then and there and punishing me in front of others. My head knows that he's too modest to do this, but my libido does not. The prospect gets me so excited that every little look from him makes me short of breath. An innocent little butt-pat makes me tingle. By the time we do get down to business, I'm REALLY into it, and randy as hell immediately afterward.

Melly: When it comes to erotic spankings there's rarely a need for it to be postponed. It's simply the heat of the moment. As for discipline spankings, sometimes they do need to be postponed because either we are away from one another (texting, etc), our child is around, we are in public, etc. When a spanking has to be postponed, it drives me crazy. I am on complete edge. I just want to get it over with NOW. I don't like the anticipation of waiting for one, especially when I know its for punishment and I have disappointed my Sir. I prefer to have the slate wiped and be reset right away.

When the time comes, we are both good at getting into the mindset though. Actually, if anything now that I think of it, I probably submit better because I have had time to think about it and I really know I deserve it and I just want the slate wiped.

Welcome back, Melly. It's great to see you again!

Joeyred: If we miss a spanking, we wait until a time when we can both be emotionally in the right headspace for the spanking.

Susie: We simply reschedule for the next day if possible. There are often times when having others around don't make it possible to take care of things when we want to. It does cause me angst, but I decided a while ago that like everything else in a messy life, we are grown ups and we have to act like it. Sometimes that means waiting and it can be a good thing at times. When we finally get some alone time together we are both more resolved.

morningstar: Because of our current living situation - regular spankings - scheduled spankings - are just not on our agendas.

And right now with W busier than a one armed paper hanger, I have no idea when the next one will happen. Hell, I don't even see a blip of one on my radar. To be honest, it makes me very cranky and then angry with myself because I KNOW that if a spanking was possible, it would happen.

So I hang on by my fingernails until an hour or so can be found for "us." Then all is right with the world again.

Ronnie: P knows I get edgy when a spanking is postponed, so he always tries to make sure it happens within a day or two. He never forgets that I'm due a spanking.

Playful Little Brat: My disciplinarian isn't someone I see on a daily basis or anything like that, so spankings/punishments don't take place on the spot (except for a few occasions) and they usually have to be postponed for a little bit. This can be irritating because it's something you want to be over and done with so the slate can be clean. But I think the most important part is knowing that there is consistency there so that it will take place when it can. It'd be worse to question whether or not it will take place at all.

Bonnie: As I mentioned in the introduction, I can be impatient when a much needed spanking is denied due to real world intrusions. I don't fuss at Randy (it's not his fault) so much as I fidget. I am sure it will happen, just not when sometimes.

Randy, for his part, assures me in small ways. For example, when we had a house guest recently, he signaled his intentions by leaving a certain curved handled wooden brush on the nightstand. Innocent it was to a vanilla, but to me, this signal was unmistakable.

In most cases, we return quite naturally to a proper mindset after an interruption. Once I take my place across his lap, my mind and body are focused upon the here and now.

Thanks, everyone, for joining our brunch celebration! See you next weekend.

Saturday, May 05, 2012

MBS Spanko Brunch #329

Welcome to our weekly community conversation. This time, we're going to talk about spankings. Imagine that!

I consider myself an emotionally balanced person for the most part. I can manage a lot of different life situations as needs arise. But I hate to wait, especially for a spanking.

When the demands of daily life cause spankings to be interrupted or postponed, how do you and your partner cope with these unplanned schedule changes? Have you any advice for getting back into the right mindset at a later time? Or is the opportunity simply lost?

To join our discussion, please enter your response in the form of a comment below. At the end of the weekend, I will post an edited summary.