19 Foods to Give You a Bigger Butt

No kidding. Apparently, that's how it's done. I had no idea. All these years I thought my generous assets were attributable to genetics. But it's really food.

Who knew?

For those keeping score, the bountiful booty displayed above is not mine

Jennifer Lopez: Proud of Her Butt

Earlier this year, Jennifer Lopez was quoted as saying, "It's true I could serve coffee using my rear as a ledge, but I'm proud of my butt. A dress shouldn't look like a coat hanger. Skinny girls miss out."

Coffee, huh? I never thought of that!

One Ad We'd Like to See

My readers send me all sorts of interesting stuff.  Take for example this slightly enhanced Nike advertisement.

I loved the message of the original ad and this version takes it a step further.  Curves are beautiful.  And, no, that young woman is not me.

Big Bottom Benefits

Reading this article makes me feel so much better! :D

Good News

Attention all pear lovers...

        Big Bottoms are Healthier!

I feel totally vindicated.

Confessions of a Bubble Butt

All my life, I've heard those words:

Large bottom	Bodacious Booty	Wide load
Protruding posterior	Round rump	Baby got back
Loose caboose	Middle age spread	Bubble butt
Bountiful backside	Bulbous behind	Big back porch

Sometimes the talk is complimentary. Other times, it's derogatory. Either way, there is no escaping this reality - my seat is more than complete. Don't bother trying to convince me otherwise. I've been buying clothes to cover it since I was a teenager.

I used to feel self-conscious about this condition. And given the way women are too often portrayed in the media, who wouldn't? I knew full well that I didn't look like a model.

I used to think I could do something about it. I tried diets, exercise plans, and fashion secrets. What I discovered was that a big bottom looks even larger when it's attached to a skinny woman.

The only reasonable alternative left was to embrace my bootiliciousness. Who says anorexic is beautiful? I decided that healthy is beautiful. For me, that meant learning to love the curves that nature provided.

Acordingly, here are my top ten reasons why having a large posterior is advantageous:

1. No belt required to hold up pants
2. Makes a good pillow
3. No lap belt needed on amusement park rides
4. Helpful for balancing children or groceries
5. Invites partner to spank (and more!)
6. Good for sitting on wooden bleachers for long stretches
7. Makes a great, solid-sounding thwack when paddled
8. A good foundation protects against blowing away on windy days
9. Jiggles when swatted
10. Attracts spanko men

Happily, I married a man who likes my womanly shape. His hands are all over my bottom at every opportunity. But that's another story...

Keywords: spanking, big bottom, My Bottom Smarts