Keyword Chaos Reconstituted

My statistics tell me that 54% of the visitors to MBS arrive here by clicking a link on another blog or web site. Another seven percent are the very loyal readers who simply typed my URL into their browser or saved it as a bookmark. The remaining 39% find this blog through the use of a search engine like Google, Yahoo, or MSN. It is this final group to whom we pay tribute today.

I enjoy examining the offbeat and sometimes perplexing search phases people use to arrive at MBS. Here's a sample along with my observations.

• huge bottoms - OK, I'll admit to having a little extra padding back there. But huge?


• spanking between friends - What's a little swat or two between old chums?


• my bottom smarts love that bonnie - Hee hee


• sounds of an actual spanking - Whack! Ow! Whack! Oooh! Whack! Ouch! and so forth...


• rubber band butt sting - Oh, please. Don't give Randy any more ideas. I can just picture him wanting to tie me up and shoot rubber bands at me!


• everyone has a bottom - A pretty good arrangement as it turns out


• panty draw - She had the fastest thong in the West


• bottom smacking service - I picture two guys in uniforms coming out to your house in a truck


• I want to spank my wife - Everyone's life will be easier if you discuss it with her first


• I love my bottom - Good for you! Too many women are socialized to believe that a healthy adult figure is somehow ugly.


• u tube spankings - OK, would that be a spanking on an inner tube being pulled by a German submarine?


• spank my shorts - Yeah, and kiss my grits!


• my bottom smarts anal - It's been known to happen


• the princess of spanking - I heard she abdicated


• noisiest plastic panties corner time story - All hail, it's the Wizard of Odd


• girls being naughty in cheer shorts - Just wait until those shorts come off!


• golf and bare bottom spanking - We love the skins game!


• harem left breast nipples - Brenda found it difficult to buy a good bra because she had two left breasts


• introducing kink to girlfriend - A simple curtsy is the normal protocol


• my girl friend wet her panties on our first date - This could be a sign that she's too young for you


• can spankings draw blood? - Yes, but the Red Cross isn't likely to be put out of business any time soon


• emergency room in her anus foreign - My mother always told me to wear clean underwear for just such occasions


• my paddling doesn't sting - Armor is not appropriate apparel for a spanking


• photos of bear asses wearing butt plugs - This is an incredibly bad idea


• frontier gal spank research - Riding home on a horse is the worst part


• I got spanking - Who could ask for anything more?


• bountiful butt - And a fine harvest it was!


• husband spanking wife through the ages - I think I saw this show on the Discovery Channel


• how to get my wife to spank me - Ask her


• I want to be spanked by my boyfriend - Ask him


• I have spots on my bottom - You know it was an effective spanking when...


• a good honest to goodness spanking - How good can it get?


• when I bend over, my head hurts - Stop! You're spanking the wrong end!


• plastic apron spank - Here's another totally ineffective implement


• mister spanking - He's sort of like a kinkier version of Doctor Love


• zoo bare butt bonanza - Why do we always end up at the ape house?


• spanking always - Aw, that's sweet


• visible panty lines - OMG! She's actually wearing underwear!


• spankasia - Coming soon to a theater near you


• butt plug law - I think those legislators need something else to do


• fifty year old women having sex - You bet! It keeps the fifty year old men off of the street


• spanking gets your blood flowing - Let there be no doubt


• boys punished in panty girdles by girls - Whatever, dude


• spankings on independence day - It's like my very own fireworks show in my pants


• words that rhyme with bonnie - They're all cousins - Donnie, Ronnie, Connie, Lonnie, Johnny...


• fine pleated panties - I thought I'd seen it all


• loincloth tawse - And so Jane learned to avoid joking about Tarzan's grammar


• ghost spanking - Bringing afterburn to the afterlife

Keyword Chaos

Here's a change of pace. How about some Keyword Chaos? What follows are phrases people entered into search engines that led them to this blog.

• list of spanking blogs - Look to your right -->


• panty gusset pics - OK, now, big smile...


• secret service impressed by california businesswoman - This is about as unlikely as any search phrase I've seen. It goes to prove that on the web, you just never know.


• spank curtsy - One must employ proper manners when attending a formal discipline session


• spanking big round bottoms - For some strange reason, I get lots of these


• spanking sin - So, let me get this straight. Is the spanking itself the sin, or is it the punishment for some other sin?


• secretary secret spanking - I have to think that if you whack somebody's bottom in an office, it's not going to stay a secret for long


• allday butt plug - Is that anything like a Black Cow?


• spank tits balls held tears forced cum sorority - These gals sure know how to throw a party!


• sex spankying - For people who like a little nookeying with their spankying


• what's new handprints spanking - It's the five finger salute


• butt plug underwear - Always an understated fashion choice


• i'm hot, tight, aggressive bottom. is very good. - I think that phrase might have lost something in translation


• why bottoms go red after being spanked - Because they are beaming from all the attention


• nipple clamp enema beg - Huh?


• mommy spanks email - Bad spammer!


• spank cried rectum - ...And the wind cried Mary


• are you going to spank my bun sir pictures - Oh please, Sir Pictures, not the flash!


• inside my panties - I'm guessing that's a show sort of like "Inside the Actors' Studio"


• a proper spanking - It beats an improper spanking any day!


• cliff smarts holidays in ireland - Coming up on today's episode of Lost on the Internet...


• diy and personal lubricant and recipe and sex and make your own ingredients - One part Mazola, two parts baby oil


• tonya harding wedgie pics - In this weird world, those photos might actually exist


• wife needs to be spanked chores - If it feels like a chore to spank your wife, you're probably not doing it right


• kevlar thongs - The new definition of toughness


• woman who offer spankings - Two for a nickel, five for a dime?


• learning to spell fly swatter spanking - It's remarkable how often we spankos need to spell those words


• six of the best caning - Why does no one ever get six of the well above average?


• normal spankings - Abnormal spankings are so much more exciting


• hard girdle spankings - Why would anyone wear a hard girdle?


• panty assignment - OK, Gloria, you get these flowered bikinis...


• nylon surprise - I screamed when the nightgown jumped out of the drawer


• photos visual panty lines - Got lines?


• punished big ass - Oh, no, I don't want to be punished big


• supergirl thongs on bare asses - Are they bare or are they wearing thongs? ...And what does Supergirl have to do with any of this?


• precisely spanked - I definitely appreciate a man with good aim


• shoe store skirt salesman panties - When I go to the shoe store, I steer clear of those pesky skirt salesmen


• cheerleader wedgies - Rah Rah Rah, Hut Hut Hut, get this thing outa my butt!


• anal sex badly - If you're going to do it badly, I think it's better to skip it altogether!


• raunchy ladies underwear - I've heard that some raunchy ladies don't wear any underwear at all


• funny spanking of asses - Some guy in a clown nose paddled me with a floppy orange shoe


• pure spankings - New from Time-Life Media, here's the CD box set that no spanko household can do without


• what to wear to a spanking - Nothing is always a popular choice


• free spanking - Wouldn't this make a great protest sign?


• my aunty wears pantyhose - Amazing! So does mine.


• panty girdle discipline - The mere threat would be enough to make me behave!


• spicy food ass crack burn sore - There's a kink we hadn't considered


• bare butt baboon pictures - As opposed to pictures of baboons dressed in evening wear?


• sex with a glass cigar tubes - There's nothing better than a good old-fashioned romp in the humidor


• visible panty line inspections spanking humiliation - I'd love to meet the person who gets to be the inspector. Now's there's an unusual occupation!


• sexy girdles worn by tall sexy british girls - This person has a very specialized fetish


• spankee fonder - Does this involve dipping in hot cheese? No, wait, that's fondue.


• doctors recommend spanking foreplay - Really?


• hitachi magic wand how to open - Don't open it. There aren't any batteries. Just plug it in and flip the switch.


• stories remembering getting a hard spanking - Remember? How could I forget?


• spanking tonya harding - Apparently the wedgie wasn't sufficient


• naughty girls get their bottoms paddled - So do nice girls, if they know how to ask


• great spanking sites - I once got a few quick swats on the Golden Gate bridge


• seven straps - The lost scene from Seven Brides for Seven Brothers

Keyword Chaos Has Returned

You asked for it... Here are some more search phrases that people use to find MBS:

• spankee eva - Keep up the good work, Adam!


• mbs horsing around - Actually, I have an equestrian spanking story around here somewhere


• bonnies tits - They're small, but they serve their purpose


• spanking enema - Not an activity I'd want to clean up after


• homemade spanking machines - Rube Goldberg would be proud


• cheerleaders punished for going wild - Order right now and we'll throw in a second amazing DVD, Truckers Gone Wild!


• how to use toothbrush for anal joy - Don't you dare put that thing back in the bathroom!


• embarrassing pink thong - Flossing is important for proper hygiene


• best spanking blogs - You can find them in my blogroll


• misbehaving bottoms - Why those naughty bottoms have been sitting around all day


• please miss not on my bear bottom - If it's a real bear, you'd better hope you miss


• man with duck tape on butt - Now there's a fashion statement


• big butt plug - I have no idea why the Guinness Book wouldn't accept a seven foot plug


• spice girls unbutton my bottom - Hey Sporty, bottoms don't unbutton. Just spread it apart.


• spanko heaven - You know that wing can generate a real nice sting. Keep flapping!


• paddle fly swatter frying pan spatula - Frying pan? That's a bit thuddy for my taste and it smells like bacon


• best woods for a spanking paddle - Pick a woods where no one will see you


• I purposely showed my panty to my brother - Ew


• jewel anal probe - What the discriminating kinksters are wearing this season


• miniature butt plug - It goes with the Barbie House of Kink playset


• wanking panties - Whoa, let's keep both hands on the wheel!


• painless spanking paddle - I don't think you're using that thing properly


• santa is coming porn - Ho, ho, ho!


• I am a submissive girl with big nipples - Thank you for sharing


• bubble butts and tight girdles - Look out, she's going to blow!


• granny panties vs. thongs - The ultimate grudge match: This time, it's for keeps!


• mandrill ass color - Leave those apes alone!


• first time rubbing a woman's butt story - It was round and smooth, like a ripe melon


• do women want to be spanked? - Sometimes we do


• learning to wear panties - So what's to learn?


• silent spanking implement - You might find it, but you'll have a lot tougher time locating a silent spanking partner!


• mbs porn account - No, no, no. This is not porn and no account is required


• bonnie please don't go - I'm right here!


• wonderful panty stories - As I pulled up my new briefs, I got the sudden urge to fly


• hubby caught in bed having sex with a doll - Oh, yeah, like Chatty Cathy is going to keep a secret


• used spanking magazine - It was still rolled up


• oatmeal treatment bare bottom - I don't think you get the same health benefits from fiber when it's used that way


• big ass spankings - We finally found a use for this big ass paddle


• where a girl's spanking ought to be administered - Right where she sits down


• butt was raw - Nothing that can't be cured with a little cooking


• sex toy named frisky - One of ours is named "Buzz Lightyear"


• chaos butt - Beware the awesome power...


• my thong vote - It was a narrow victory


• thank you for spanking me - May I have another?


• pure spankings - Absolutely no filler!


• does my wife need a good spanking? - Why are you asking me? Go talk to her!


• instant spanking - I think reconstituted instant spankings are too lumpy


• bad girls being spanked - Spanking good girls is a lot more fun


• free spanking panties - I wonder if the spanking is free or the panties?


• wedding day spankings pictures - Now let's get a shot with both sets of parents


• fresh spankings - This is the kind of thing you'd never want to serve stale


• when to quit wearing a thong - I can think of several activities that are a whole lot easier when it's off


• should wives be spanked? - Only if they enjoy it!


• spectacles of a woman spanked in public - Men do beat asses of girls who wear glasses


• spank Maryland - OK, missy, get those crab cakes over my knee!


• people who like to talk about spanking bare - I'd rather just get on with it


• adult spanking thermometer - This might be the most impractical implement ever


• can cheerleaders wear thongs? - I don't see why not, as long as they are under the uniform


• swish whack ow - Bada bing, Bada boom!


• bare ass hockey player - Now that's what I call "high sticking!"


• please play with my bottom - Can Sweet Cheeks come out to play?


• spanking griddle - Now there's a mighty unwieldy implement


• girls in underwear giving each other wedgies - It was a slow day down at the Omega Tau Kappa sorority house


• d/s aim tighty whities - OK, whatever...


• it's my duty to spank your booty - The man has a plan to bring heat to the seat


• how to smack a bottom really hard - Well, let's see... Pull your arm back all the way, swing it forward really fast, and aim for the fleshy portions


• spanking domes - It's the woodshed of the future


• no bare back jeans spanking - Absolutely no hunting, fishing, swimming or trespassing either!


• buy or purchase chair or couch numbness and tingling - I couldn't make up stuff this odd


• handprints spanking art - That would be a lively exhibition


• directory of women who enjoy spanking - Just look 'em up in the Red Pages


• dancing after a spanking - I'm quite familiar with the hop and rub two-step


• spanking tight jeans - Put a spanko woman inside them and it's even more fun


• big hiney spanking - You're just trying to sweet talk me...


• spank my goat - So, a monkey isn't good enough for you?


• I found pantyhose in his dresser - Hubby has been robbing banks on the side


• who wants to spank my girl? - This game could get way out of hand


• homemade miniature catapult - I have a feeling that kitty-cat's life is about to become more interesting

Keyword Chaos: Holiday Edition

We're back, and so is Keyword Chaos. For those unfamiliar with this feature, what you see below are words and phrases that people entered into search engines. Remarkably, throught the miracle of computers, they were swept here.

These keywords, presented without editing, provide some very funny material. Here, see what I mean...

• erotic sorority corporal punishment fantasies - Oh, those kinky coeds...


• butt plug blog - ...And people think my blog is specialized!


• blog good causes bottoms - I always wondered about that


• enema over his knee - Most people insert that nozzle a little higher


• exchange student discipline spanking - Yeah right, blame the foreign girl


• post-spanking aftercare oatmeal - Make mine a wheat bagel please


• take me out to the woodshed - And that's one, two, three swats, I'm red, at the old woodshed


• sheer hell of the strap spanking - It's even worse than the heartbreak of psoriasis


• punishment miss strap - Bend over, Miss Thang!


• wank to your wife on the web - All the world loves an alliterative jerk-off


• met on internet, became my mother - It's a weird world out there


• big girls do get spanked - But they don't cry-yi-yi!


• open canoe try before you buy - About ten minutes from now, somebody is going to be in the river


• hot pink rubber step stool - OK, now there's a truly kinky accessory


• women have beautiful butts - You don't appreciate us for our minds...


• tonya harding spank - It wouldn't surprise me to learn that she's a spanko


• spanking through the ages - A History Channel exclusive!


• see my pretty panties - Those wind gusts are so unpredictable


• actual spanking footage - Hands work better


• wank with anklets - Whatever, dude


• my partner is boring in bed - That street runs both ways. What are you doing to create some romance?


• old fashioned spanking enema romances - In my day, we had to use hollow reeds for tubing


• delete bare bottom spanking stories - Who are you, the censor?


• real girls being spanked - No more cruelty to mannequins


• how I lost my panties at sorority hell weekend - Never mind that, how can I get them down from there?


• please don't cum inside me - Don't you think it's a little late for that plea


• necktie spanked her ass - Next time, try a wet noodle


• free spanking games - Spin the paddle is a personal favorite


• it's too big for my panties - So buy a larger size


• please pull my underwear - No, wait, pull my finger!


• see my tits - See my tits bounce. Bounce, tits, bounce!


• spanking the long afternoon - Then dance the night away!


• charity spanking - Is that like a mercy lay?


• I want a spanking for Christmas - It's not fair. I was naughty all year and all I got was a stocking full of coal!


• erotic story text he brushed my panties - I prefer to use the toothbrush on the other end


• wedgie poll - All right, show of hands, how many of you have a wedgie right now? How many wish you did?


• baboon mandrill ass photos - There's that primate fetish again


• stewardess panties down - I'll bet that makes it hard to get down the aisles.


• embarrassing thongs - There's barely room to fit the days of the week


• duct tape cincher - There's nothing like the handyman's secret weapon


• cavewoman big butt - Her name was Bertha


• having my bare bottom licked - Rover shows up at the most inopportune moments


• history of paddle in sorority - It's just one sore rear after another


• my wife wants bottom - Baby don't got back?


• buttocks equation surgery roundness - I love the smell of technology in the morning


• stocks cleavage - Time for a mammogram again?


• panties is arousing - So is good grammar


• cheerleader stood in my living room undressing for money - She really knows how to shake her pom-poms


• O is for ouch - Cookie Monster is branching out into BDSM


• I wear a butt plug to school - I suppose that's one tactic for staying awake in class


• girls huge bra buster - The term "full figured" might apply here


• football comes out fanny - Carried by flying monkeys, no doubt


• contract bottom naked bare actress - The capo wants her whacked


• worst spanking implement - A bar of soap is amazingly ineffective, especially in the shower


• naughty patty cake girls - Not patty cake!


• master spanker - He's a third degree black belt in the disciplinary arts


• birthday spanking outfits - I vote for the birthday suit


• spanking delights - Isn't that a new shop at the mall?


• Brittany Spears sex tpe - Wishful thinking


• does rubbing a woman's bottom precede spanking - We can dream...


• spanking justice - Sheriff Swat is the law around these parts


• china girls being spanked - You touch those dolls and you're dead


• bum spank video - Hey, leave that vagrant alone


• the spanker grab - Immediately followed by the squeeze and fondle


• well done spanking - I prefer medium well (warm, pink center)


• hairbrush meets my bare bottom - I'm pleased to make your acquaintance


• spanked jeans middle aged blog - This blog is merely a toddler (and into everything!)


• butt plug joke - Ha ha, we're all peeing ourselves laughing over here


• anal knotted towel - Not too pleasant I imagine


• what color do women find arousing - That depends upon who is wearing it


• caveman spanking stories - No, wait, not the hair!


• cowboy love spanking - The sequel to Brokeback Mountain?


• over his knee shopping panties - Oh, no. You can't spank me now. These are my shopping panties!


• white shorts golf course spanking - No, please, not the four wood!


• paddle on fire bottom - That kindling remark was just a joke, really!


• all I want for Christmas is a girdle - I sincerely hope you got enough girdles and matching bras to allow you to wear them every single day


• medieval spanking stories - Aw, c'mon. We haven't used the rack since last week!


• hockey cane my skirt - Watch out for the slap shot!


• biblical spanking bare - Ow! What is that, a book?


• statistics and enjoy spanking - He likes a little regression with his submission


• horny xmas wives - By the time Christmas is over, Mrs. Claus could definitely use a conjugal visit


• sleeping tushy - Let's hope it doesn't snore


• psychological enema - Imagine if you will, your rectum is filling with a warm liquid...


• He removed the plug in her anus - There was a whoosh of air as she flew all about the room


• Should wives be spanked? - Only if they consent


• underwear on flagpole picture - Why is everyone saluting?


• what do BDSM masters wear? - Anything they choose!


• free smacked female bottoms - There's just nothing as tasty as free range bottom


• chinese panty - May you live in interesting underwear


• improvised sex toys around house for anal - This sounds like a really bad idea


• conical butt plug - I am Beldar. This is Prymaat. We are from Remulak.


• leotard ejaculate - Wash it in Woolite


• my doctor examined my thong - He said it looked frayed around the waistband


• tight jeans causing bruising - Good grief! How tight could they be?


• I took off my bra and started to spank him - Bras make lousy spanking implements


• team sore ass - We won't sit down on the job!


• help wanted looking for female spanker - Have hairbrush, will travel


• orgasmic girdle - Not likely


• much needed spanking story - Sometimes we just need a story


• spank my happy white ass - ...and call me Shirley!


• painless spanking - As I am often reminded, "Spankings are supposed to hurt."


• what makes a woman's bottom spankable? - Let's start with an eagerness to play

I have a lot of catching up to do, so if you sent me e-mail recently, please bear with me. Thanks!

Keyword Chaos is Back!

Once again, the time has come for Keyword Chaos. This is the feature where we examine some of the phrases that readers use to find MBS. I continue to be amazed by the variety of bizarre word combinations. "What were they thinking?" I ask myself. Then I wonder whether those cyberspace adventurers ever found whatever they sought. I haven't any answers to these momentous questions, but that doesn't stop me from sharing some of the best tidbits with you.

• great american spank-off - I'm guessing the winner gets to sit in a bucket of ice


• aunties panties - Not to be confused with niece's pieces


• spanking in mainstream movies - I recommend the balcony


• regular bottoms spanked - I'd hate to have an irregular bottom


• panty girdle over head - Hides wrinkles better than the leading creme


• captured spanked knickers - Taking panty raids to the next level


• chimp dildo - I wonder if it's anything like the rabbit vibrator


• story of spank - Once upon a time, in an enchanted hairbrush factory...


• paddle her ass principal - Now there's an interesting job title


• panty girdle memories - I remember discomfort


• adult spanking vacations - Let the luxurious discipline surround you...


• bottom spanking samples - For a limited time only!


• spanking christmas - We don't need a Yule log to stay warm


• how to spank yourself in diaper position - There must be an easier way!


• I wear a butt plug - Thank you for sharing


• yours mine and ours spanking - The family that flays together stays together


• harem buttock whippings - You just don't see a good harem much any more


• who likes being spanked - I do, I do!


• worst spanking ever - Swing and a miss, strike one. He was reaching for the fences but hit only air!


• she didn't think he would really spank her - In fact, he was such a blabbermouth that she was hoping for the silent treatment!


• spank my bottom silly - A rubber chicken is often helpful on these occasions


• spankers anon - Hi. My name is Bonnie and I'm a spankoholic...


• chinese bottom sex - It's great, but you're horny again in a couple of hours


• backside of love spanking - "Turn to the backside, Luke!"


• how to be an anal bottom - OK, I want you to spank just on the crest of each cheek, certainly no lower than an inch above where the buttock joins the leg and no higher that two inches below the top of the crack. Start gently and slowly increase the intensity unless I tell you to slow down...


• kinky wooden headboards - Complete with custom illustrations of medieval torture


• thirteen inch butt plug inserted - I think we can agree that's a bit excessive


• trick into anal girl - Trick? C'mon. How hard is it going to be to figure out that little stunt?


• spank master spread - It's the first spanko rapper!


• experimental spanking - The rubber coated wooden paddle is now in phase III clinical trials. Early indications suggest excellent overall effectiveness with only moderate side effects


• do women like to be spanked - Some of us definitely do


• miniature catapult design in greek - This is all Greek to me


• can spanking be sex? - You bet!


• spanking sneakers - Nothing like a little sole music!


• embarrassing dating spanking stories - I just never expected him to bring his riding crop into the restaurant


• a sound spanking in three outfits - Cher never had it so good!


• reenactments spankings - Whose army are you supposed to be in? I don't recognize the uniform.


• birthday spanking bar - I'll just stick with a paddle if that's all right


• humiliating spanking rituals - After they ran my underwear up the flagpole, I didn't think it could get much worse


• locate spankers - Our GPS gizmo doesn't have that feature


• did gidget get spanked on her tv show - Yes, she did


• on stage paddle spanking - Now, for my next trick, I will need a volunteer from the audience


• what do ladies wear for a spanking? - This season, the properly dressed lady wears an elegant gown from the respected European designer, Swotta, complete with a jewel-studded bodice, a contemporary hemline, and a unique drop-seat


• can you wear a thong in vegas - Um, yeah


• infernal restraint bdsm - Is that perhaps a tactic practiced by the Infernal Revenue Service?


• skinny bubble butt - Can you say oxymoron?


• chimpanzee disciplinary spanking - We're hearing reports of trouble at the ape house


• old man spanking girl in hayloft - Ah, country living at its finest


• bare fannies over a knee - Those must be some really narrow fannies


• oops my bra slipped - Tighten the straps and that won't happen


• extended wear butt plug - It's now coated with kevlar for long life, resiliency, and easy maintenance


• turkey leg insertion in pussy - Ewwww!


• man spanks woman at walmart - The temptations of the kitchenware department simply overcame them


• buttman ask to rabbit - One pill makes your larger...


• feminine erotica knee socks - Pitch those fishnet stockings, go for the sexy knee socks instead


• homemade spanking - Just like cookies, the result is warm, soft, and chewy


• women wearing pantyhose for enjoyment - Say what?


• apple inserted anally - The emergency room doctor didn't believe the story about the making homemade cider


• side of ass penetrated afternoon delight - Here's another form of sex I don't care to attempt


• spankettes - The stage show included a lot of dancing


• spanking in chairs - It's sort of like musical chairs without the music


• rub my fanny with your beard - Tell me again how you're my own special porcupine


• giving spanking to women - This Christmas, give the gift of spanking


• hard currency spanking - No, my dear, you may not write any more checks

I'm sorry I haven't been around much this week. We're fine, though thoroughly afflicted with the holiday busies.

Keyword Chaos Rides Again

Here we go again. It's time for Keyword Chaos, the feature where we have a little fun with the search phrases people use to find MBS.

Please understand that I have no desire to ridicule anyone. I consider the fact that they arrived at MBS through whatever means to be a positive event. On the other hand, I just can't write material as funny as some these search engine queries.

• female standing scissor spanking - Standing is all right, just be sure not to run!


• spank my bottom and call me red - Well, boy howdy, Red, you sure know how to have a good time!


• why spanking be fun - Spanking be fun 'cause we be gettin' it on


• knitting knickers - Don't get your knickers in a knot, get knots in your knickers!


• sorority paddle booth - Best fund raiser we ever had!


• anal plug discipline stories - My plug was so naughty that I gave it to the dog


• visual panty lines - As opposed to auditory panty lines I suppose?


• self spanking how to - Smack rear end with hairbrush, rinse, repeat


• aunty monica my nipples are so hard - If you're cold, then put on a sweater


• karaoke skirt lap caress - A karaoke skirt? I picture a kind of conical mirrorball design


• woman's buttocks is as big as an elephant - Yeah and your grammar aren't too good neither


• women's quilted housecoat - OK, now we're getting kinky!


• understanding but severe spankers - There, there, dear, it will heal in a week or so


• if you join spank my bottom - This could be a very popular club


• butt plug in my ass for a week - The resulting blast shattered windows within a one mile radius


• incredibly juicy spanking stories - Honey, why are we turning into an orange grove?


• miss may spanking - Perhaps Playboy Magazine is spicing things up


• my spanking leggings - No sense getting cold legs while your bottom is being warmed


• bonnie bare - Dream 0n...


• buttman swat - Holy paddle, Buttman!


• loopy johnny spankings on the pussy - Don't try this at home


• husband used to spank me - Now he just waves a hairbrush and gives me a dirty look


• caning during intercourse - ...And on weekends, we work for the circus as contortionists


• brother-sister spankos - The family that flays together, stays together


• cheerleading wearing butt-plug - I could imagine the "splits" being an issue


• bible belt spanking - Oh no, not that thing again!


• erotic spanking degrading - No way! Degrading is shopping for a bathing suit


• spanked by stranger - Say, do I know you?


• housewives paddled on the buttocks - If you're going to paddle those housewives, that's the best place


• the spanking ritual - I thought it was your turn to bring the goat


• large fox tail butt plugs - For that Davy Crockett look


• mommy spanks email - Take that, you nasty spammer you!


• old naked spankers - Oops, sorry love, wrong cane.


• bucking booty - A cowboy's delight


• my rabbit chewed a hole in my leather sofa - Mmmm, tastes just like chicken!


• my bum hurts from spanking story - Wow, that must be an incredibly realistic story!


• ouch! my bottom is on fire - Quick! Sit in the rain barrel!


• my bottom hurts blog - After I sat on the keyboard, nothing worked right


• best bubble butt contest - Can you imagine the talent competition?


• how to prepare for a spanking - It's not exactly like studying for test


• spank curtsy - Strict adherence to protocol is essential during a formal spanking


• paddling jeri ryan - Yet another spanko trekker fantasy, six of the best for seven of nine


• domestic ass paddle - Those imported models just don't last


• does it hurt to be spanked? - Yup


• the truth about spanking bare bottom - It makes a cool sound


• my wife needs good spanking stories - Feel free to read mine or create your own


• discomfort caused by thong panties - Randy spanks me when I wear a thong. Does that count?


• weird spanking implements - Let's see... Wooden shoe, Tupperware lid, scratching post, plastic anteater, paper towel roll, cuckoo clock, paint-by-numbers book, oatmeal box...

The Return of Keyword Chaos

Our Keyword Chaos feature is back by popular demand. Many people arrive at MBS by following links generated by search engines. I enjoy examining the search words they use. Some are downright humorous and those queries lead us here, to Keyword Chaos.

• costume butt plug tail - If I wear this to the office party, will people think I'm stuck up?


• spanking my bottom smarts - Hey, leave my blog alone!


• panties with no bottom - People without bottoms shouldn't need panties, right?


• self-spanking hairbrush - I'll agree it's a remarkable feat of engineering, but why would anyone want to see a hairbrush spank itself?


• pulling knickers out of bottoms - Does this involve flying monkeys?


• panties anonymous - Hi, my name is Bonnie and my underwear won't fit in one drawer anymore


• spanking red bottom - In my experience, once a bottom turns red, it's done


• photos of human derriere - That sounds so clinical


• vote on my bare ass apple bottom - Just mark an 'X' on the side you think looks best


• sting my bottom - It wasn't much fun after Doris sat on the hornets nest


• a mixed bag of spankings - Life is like a bag of spankings


• hopping panties - I've seen bulging boxers, but never hopping panties


• I love women's girdles - Good, then you wear them!


• vanilla spanking techniques - Is this an oxymoron?


• spank me with my butt plug - It's not a very effective implement


• naked barnyard whippings - Hey, you two, get a stall!


• how do we take a wedgie and spank at the same time - Huh?


• very painful bottom whipping stories - "It was a dark and stormy night..."


• caned bear bottoms - Don't do it, just don't!


• why does my head sting - Perhaps it's related to spending 13 straight hours typing nonsense into search engines


• waist my lie too long - OK, so I'm not really a size six


• what is a bottom? - We need to send this person back to remedial spanko class


• thong that says sunday brunch - There's a business opportunity I hadn't considered


• halloween spanko - When the trick is the treat


• daily wank - Day job of Spankoman's mild-mannered alter-ego, Quark Gent


• self spanking marathon - Just 24 more miles and we can put down these paddles


• super size bottom - Make mine a Big Whack


• vagina spanked me - Mine never spanks anybody


• how to make spankings more memorable - I'd start with a good caterer


• spank temp - Wait a minute, the agency didn't tell me about this part!


• advice on spanking during sex - When couples are enjoying sex, I suspect they don't want advice on anything


• cosmopolitan spank - Life among the metrospankuals?


• self spanking machine - Is it really self-spanking if a spankolator does all the work?


• why is spanking arousing? - Does it matter?


• skimpy raunchy ladies - In politically correct terms, that would be "sexually active female little people."


• gently eased anal probe deeper - Roger, Houston, we have achieved entry


• wheelbarrow over the knee and spanked - Talk about your unusual fetishes!


• blazing paddles - 'Scuse me while I whip this out...


• wet carpet beater spanking on pantyhose - Here's a suggestion for spankos who think they've tried everything


• team that loses gets spanked - I don't think those Sacramento Submissives players are giving their best effort


• pull down panties for sex - That certainly makes it easier