Saturday, December 09, 2006

Keyword Chaos is Back!

Once again, the time has come for Keyword Chaos. This is the feature where we examine some of the phrases that readers use to find MBS. I continue to be amazed by the variety of bizarre word combinations. "What were they thinking?" I ask myself. Then I wonder whether those cyberspace adventurers ever found whatever they sought. I haven't any answers to these momentous questions, but that doesn't stop me from sharing some of the best tidbits with you.
  • great american spank-off - I'm guessing the winner gets to sit in a bucket of ice

  • aunties panties - Not to be confused with niece's pieces

  • spanking in mainstream movies - I recommend the balcony

  • regular bottoms spanked - I'd hate to have an irregular bottom

  • panty girdle over head - Hides wrinkles better than the leading creme

  • captured spanked knickers - Taking panty raids to the next level

  • chimp dildo - I wonder if it's anything like the rabbit vibrator

  • story of spank - Once upon a time, in an enchanted hairbrush factory...

  • paddle her ass principal - Now there's an interesting job title

  • panty girdle memories - I remember discomfort

  • adult spanking vacations - Let the luxurious discipline surround you...

  • bottom spanking samples - For a limited time only!

  • spanking christmas - We don't need a Yule log to stay warm

  • how to spank yourself in diaper position - There must be an easier way!

  • I wear a butt plug - Thank you for sharing

  • yours mine and ours spanking - The family that flays together stays together

  • harem buttock whippings - You just don't see a good harem much any more

  • who likes being spanked - I do, I do!

  • worst spanking ever - Swing and a miss, strike one. He was reaching for the fences but hit only air!

  • she didn't think he would really spank her - In fact, he was such a blabbermouth that she was hoping for the silent treatment!

  • spank my bottom silly - A rubber chicken is often helpful on these occasions

  • spankers anon - Hi. My name is Bonnie and I'm a spankoholic...

  • chinese bottom sex - It's great, but you're horny again in a couple of hours

  • backside of love spanking - "Turn to the backside, Luke!"

  • how to be an anal bottom - OK, I want you to spank just on the crest of each cheek, certainly no lower than an inch above where the buttock joins the leg and no higher that two inches below the top of the crack. Start gently and slowly increase the intensity unless I tell you to slow down...

  • kinky wooden headboards - Complete with custom illustrations of medieval torture

  • thirteen inch butt plug inserted - I think we can agree that's a bit excessive

  • trick into anal girl - Trick? C'mon. How hard is it going to be to figure out that little stunt?

  • spank master spread - It's the first spanko rapper!

  • experimental spanking - The rubber coated wooden paddle is now in phase III clinical trials. Early indications suggest excellent overall effectiveness with only moderate side effects

  • do women like to be spanked - Some of us definitely do

  • miniature catapult design in greek - This is all Greek to me

  • can spanking be sex? - You bet!

  • spanking sneakers - Nothing like a little sole music!

  • embarrassing dating spanking stories - I just never expected him to bring his riding crop into the restaurant

  • a sound spanking in three outfits - Cher never had it so good!

  • reenactments spankings - Whose army are you supposed to be in? I don't recognize the uniform.

  • birthday spanking bar - I'll just stick with a paddle if that's all right

  • humiliating spanking rituals - After they ran my underwear up the flagpole, I didn't think it could get much worse

  • locate spankers - Our GPS gizmo doesn't have that feature

  • did gidget get spanked on her tv show - Yes, she did

  • on stage paddle spanking - Now, for my next trick, I will need a volunteer from the audience

  • what do ladies wear for a spanking? - This season, the properly dressed lady wears an elegant gown from the respected European designer, Swotta, complete with a jewel-studded bodice, a contemporary hemline, and a unique drop-seat

  • can you wear a thong in vegas - Um, yeah

  • infernal restraint bdsm - Is that perhaps a tactic practiced by the Infernal Revenue Service?

  • skinny bubble butt - Can you say oxymoron?

  • chimpanzee disciplinary spanking - We're hearing reports of trouble at the ape house

  • old man spanking girl in hayloft - Ah, country living at its finest

  • bare fannies over a knee - Those must be some really narrow fannies

  • oops my bra slipped - Tighten the straps and that won't happen

  • extended wear butt plug - It's now coated with kevlar for long life, resiliency, and easy maintenance

  • turkey leg insertion in pussy - Ewwww!

  • man spanks woman at walmart - The temptations of the kitchenware department simply overcame them

  • buttman ask to rabbit - One pill makes your larger...

  • feminine erotica knee socks - Pitch those fishnet stockings, go for the sexy knee socks instead

  • homemade spanking - Just like cookies, the result is warm, soft, and chewy

  • women wearing pantyhose for enjoyment - Say what?

  • apple inserted anally - The emergency room doctor didn't believe the story about the making homemade cider

  • side of ass penetrated afternoon delight - Here's another form of sex I don't care to attempt

  • spankettes - The stage show included a lot of dancing

  • spanking in chairs - It's sort of like musical chairs without the music

  • rub my fanny with your beard - Tell me again how you're my own special porcupine

  • giving spanking to women - This Christmas, give the gift of spanking

  • hard currency spanking - No, my dear, you may not write any more checks

I'm sorry I haven't been around much this week. We're fine, though thoroughly afflicted with the holiday busies.


Kallisto said...

LOL! It is just totally amazing. I am at a loss for words. Glad to have you back!

Paul said...

Bonnie, your wit is never too dry.
Everybody is busy this time of year.
Warm hugs,

Persephone said...

Some of those are way too funny.. I can't believe some of those are actually searched on...Thanks for the laugh :)

Denise said...

Ok Bonnie,

How did they find you with the statement of "Turkey leg inserted into pussy" Ewwwww is right1

Your comments are very funny. Thanks for the laugh!


Doc said...

chinese bottom sex - It's great, but you're horny again in a couple of hours


Anonymous said...

Very Very funny, I can't believe some of them worked, perhaps the search engine programmers just divert anything they don't understand to you !
I just have your page bookmarked, it's easier than thinking up something like "medieval chimpanzee crochet tractors" to find you.


Amber said...

LOL, Bonnie, I almost died laughing. My best so far was a modest:

"OTK Russian Style." -- while downing shots of vodka, I presume. Or, if I count in Russian while OTK, that qualifies as Russian style, doesn't it?

And then another vivid one:

"Wife bent over the table spanked with the belt." Well, they came to the right blog.

Don said...

There is a book in your future. I love your quick wit. Cheers

PS So you are old enough to have worn a panty girdle huh?

ButterflyTemptress said...

How do you figure this out? Just curious. I knew how when Wordpress hosted my blog but I haven't been able to figure it out since I have hosted my own.

Anonymous said...

Absolutely love it, Bonnie!!! You're to funny!!!


Bonnie said...

Kallisto - Thanks!

Paul - Don't I know it! It seems I have hardly a spare moment for spanking, let alone writing about it.

Persephone - I'm amazed every time, both by what people are inclined to type into search engines and the fact they land here. In a lot of cases, I can't even imagine what they expected to find.

Denise - I haven't a clue, but it's a non-stop source of entertainment. Keywords aren't a good reason to start a blog, but they are a fun byproduct!

Doc - A lot of times, I go with the first thought that comes into my mind. So it was in this case.

OPB - I don't pretend to understand how search engines work, but I'm sure all of those words appeared here at some point.

Amber - Hmmm. OTK Russian style... I have to imagine it somehow involves waiting in a long line.

Don - I might well write a book someday, but it probably won't be about spanking.

As for the girdle, yes, I know of what I speak.

Butterfly - The best way is to incorporate a counter into your template. It captures all of that information and allows you to generate a variety of reports. Right now, I'm partial to Google Analytics. It's easy and free.

Tigger - Thanks!

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