Thursday, February 15, 2007

Keyword Chaos

Here's a change of pace. How about some Keyword Chaos? What follows are phrases people entered into search engines that led them to this blog.

  • list of spanking blogs - Look to your right -->

  • panty gusset pics - OK, now, big smile...

  • secret service impressed by california businesswoman - This is about as unlikely as any search phrase I've seen. It goes to prove that on the web, you just never know.

  • spank curtsy - One must employ proper manners when attending a formal discipline session

  • spanking big round bottoms - For some strange reason, I get lots of these

  • spanking sin - So, let me get this straight. Is the spanking itself the sin, or is it the punishment for some other sin?

  • secretary secret spanking - I have to think that if you whack somebody's bottom in an office, it's not going to stay a secret for long

  • allday butt plug - Is that anything like a Black Cow?

  • spank tits balls held tears forced cum sorority - These gals sure know how to throw a party!

  • sex spankying - For people who like a little nookeying with their spankying

  • what's new handprints spanking - It's the five finger salute

  • butt plug underwear - Always an understated fashion choice

  • i'm hot, tight, aggressive bottom. is very good. - I think that phrase might have lost something in translation

  • why bottoms go red after being spanked - Because they are beaming from all the attention

  • nipple clamp enema beg - Huh?

  • mommy spanks email - Bad spammer!

  • spank cried rectum - ...And the wind cried Mary

  • are you going to spank my bun sir pictures - Oh please, Sir Pictures, not the flash!

  • inside my panties - I'm guessing that's a show sort of like "Inside the Actors' Studio"

  • a proper spanking - It beats an improper spanking any day!

  • cliff smarts holidays in ireland - Coming up on today's episode of Lost on the Internet...

  • diy and personal lubricant and recipe and sex and make your own ingredients - One part Mazola, two parts baby oil

  • tonya harding wedgie pics - In this weird world, those photos might actually exist

  • wife needs to be spanked chores - If it feels like a chore to spank your wife, you're probably not doing it right

  • kevlar thongs - The new definition of toughness

  • woman who offer spankings - Two for a nickel, five for a dime?

  • learning to spell fly swatter spanking - It's remarkable how often we spankos need to spell those words

  • six of the best caning - Why does no one ever get six of the well above average?

  • normal spankings - Abnormal spankings are so much more exciting

  • hard girdle spankings - Why would anyone wear a hard girdle?

  • panty assignment - OK, Gloria, you get these flowered bikinis...

  • nylon surprise - I screamed when the nightgown jumped out of the drawer

  • photos visual panty lines - Got lines?

  • punished big ass - Oh, no, I don't want to be punished big

  • supergirl thongs on bare asses - Are they bare or are they wearing thongs? ...And what does Supergirl have to do with any of this?

  • precisely spanked - I definitely appreciate a man with good aim

  • shoe store skirt salesman panties - When I go to the shoe store, I steer clear of those pesky skirt salesmen

  • cheerleader wedgies - Rah Rah Rah, Hut Hut Hut, get this thing outa my butt!

  • anal sex badly - If you're going to do it badly, I think it's better to skip it altogether!

  • raunchy ladies underwear - I've heard that some raunchy ladies don't wear any underwear at all

  • funny spanking of asses - Some guy in a clown nose paddled me with a floppy orange shoe

  • pure spankings - New from Time-Life Media, here's the CD box set that no spanko household can do without

  • what to wear to a spanking - Nothing is always a popular choice

  • free spanking - Wouldn't this make a great protest sign?

  • my aunty wears pantyhose - Amazing! So does mine.

  • panty girdle discipline - The mere threat would be enough to make me behave!

  • spicy food ass crack burn sore - There's a kink we hadn't considered

  • bare butt baboon pictures - As opposed to pictures of baboons dressed in evening wear?

  • sex with a glass cigar tubes - There's nothing better than a good old-fashioned romp in the humidor

  • visible panty line inspections spanking humiliation - I'd love to meet the person who gets to be the inspector. Now's there's an unusual occupation!

  • sexy girdles worn by tall sexy british girls - This person has a very specialized fetish

  • spankee fonder - Does this involve dipping in hot cheese? No, wait, that's fondue.

  • doctors recommend spanking foreplay - Really?

  • hitachi magic wand how to open - Don't open it. There aren't any batteries. Just plug it in and flip the switch.

  • stories remembering getting a hard spanking - Remember? How could I forget?

  • spanking tonya harding - Apparently the wedgie wasn't sufficient

  • naughty girls get their bottoms paddled - So do nice girls, if they know how to ask

  • great spanking sites - I once got a few quick swats on the Golden Gate bridge

  • seven straps - The lost scene from Seven Brides for Seven Brothers


Anonymous said...

Love them, Bonnie!!!


Kelly said...

Hehe those are so funny Bonnie!

I got one the other day that was:

Elephant Spank Movie....

Paul said...

Hay bonnie you've creased me up again. Great!!!
Warm hugs,

Anonymous said...

Bonnie~ These are - aw always - AWESOME!!


Bonnie said...

Tigger - Thanks. One challenge I find in repeating this feature every couple of weeks is keeping it fresh. As I've mentioned, I get hundreds of hits every week for "big round wide protruding bubble butt" or something similar. There are only so many gags I can use in response.

As a result, I look for really odd and incongruous sets of words. Many times, I select a phrase before I have a punchline. Assembling the Keyword Chaos series is a fun activity and one with which Randy often helps. A good laugh shared is always beneficial.

Kelly - Hi! It's good to hear from you.

I would file that phrase under Really Bad Ideas. I got one like "Spank Bear Bottom." This is also a monumentally poor suggestion.

Paul - Thank you! It's funny. When I first started posting these search strings, a couple of readers complained that I had wandered off-topic. It seems they've either been won over or departed for greener pastures.

Eva - Thanks. I love having a feature that my readers unwittingly help to write.

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